r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Captain Hygiene posted:

I've never been asked to hold someone's house key in case of emergency, but my lockpick set seems to get me through just fine

Most residential locks are a joke, but unless you have bars on your windows and doors there isn�t much point in high security locks.

# ? Mar 28, 2022 18:30

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# ? May 29, 2024 04:50

blatman: May 10, 2009; 14 inc dont mez

Captain Hygiene posted:

I've never been asked to hold someone's house key in case of emergency, but my lockpick set seems to get me through just fine

this is the lockpicking lawyer, what I have for you today is the back door of my in-laws house

# ? Mar 28, 2022 18:35

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

blatman posted:

this is the lockpicking lawyer, what I have for you today is the back door of my in-laws house

He has a nice voice.

# ? Mar 28, 2022 18:38

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

As someone who's been asked to break into people's apartments for them, it's amazing what you can do with a membership card to a grocery chain you don't actually use.

# ? Mar 28, 2022 18:41

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

coolusername posted:

He's sayin slatt, not slat, it means 'slime love all the time' and it's basically zoomer for homie/bro as far as I know. And no, I don't know why slime is involved.

# ? Mar 28, 2022 18:44

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

It was hilarious how many different ways I'd get back into my parents' house as a kid after my father would lock me out. That little latch on your windows is a lock folks.

# ? Mar 28, 2022 19:39

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

AITA for intentionally pouring wine over the Bride's wedding gown?

quote:

HEAR ME OUT BEFORE YOU BLINDLY SAY YTA.

So 2 weeks ago, my (31F) bff "Katie" (32F) got married to "matt" (35M). I was the MOH, and was very involved in the wedding planning. I love Katie to death and took my duties as MOH very seriously. I did my best to make sure Katie had the wedding of her dreams, but the thing is Katie thinks her wedding was ruined because of me.

Katie for her wedding day chose one of those two-in-one gowns that switches between being a massive tulle ballgown for the wedding and a slinky tight mermaid gown for the reception because it has a detachable tulle skirt layer. Katie is a very showy and Extra person, something that I adore about her, so she decided that during the reception she�d step out of her detachable tulle skirt and reveal the underlying mermaid gown in a dramatic fashion in front of the guests, it was very on brand for her to decide that she was gonna do something dramatic with the �costume change� and I was fully in support of this idea. We tried to brainstorm reveal ideas together, and she came up with one that was very risky, but as dramatic and sensational as Katie herself.

She wanted me to "accidentally" spill wine all over her skirt, and act panicked and horrified by my own clumsiness while she'd act like she�s very mad at me, and when the commotion it would cause is at it's peak she'll unsnap her tulle skirt and let it fall to reveal the inner reception dress. I was skeptical at first, but I finally agreed because this is a Very Katie Thing to do, and I didnt want to stifle her dramatism.

The day of her wedding came by and the moment of the �costume change� arrived; I spilled the wine on her skirt, it wasn�t a Lot but it was a substantial amount, as predicted there was a hurried commotion to help out the bride and we did our part with the acting, people were convinced and I�d assumed Katie wouldn't drag out the acting bit for more than a few seconds, but she seemed intent on fully selling the act so I started to worry and touched the buckle on the back to tell her she should remove it now, which she did, but it was too late, a good amount of the wine had already seeped through and stained the dress. It was a cringey moment tbh, since the reveal was a total fail, and to make things worse the groom�s friends started laughing at her and Katie was very upset, I tried to console her the best I can, and even mentioned this would be a funny story for family dinners in my MOH speech and I honestly thought that she�d gotten over it, since she had fun that night.

But two weeks later Katie is still mad at me, I thought we talked it out before she left for her honeymoon but nope, she�s still mad and wants an apology, but I told her this was essentially her fault, not mine and won�t be taking responsibility for it, since this was her idea and her doing that caused the wine to seep through. She got frustrated with me and said I was being a horrible friend and apparently all of Katie�s family agreed. So now I�m confused if I�m TA or not.

EDIT: This seems like relevant information: The wine I spilt was red which is probably why she was very mad, since it's stain was very blatant and obvious.

# ? Mar 28, 2022 20:22

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

NTA, but this is why I don't agree to be responsible for incredibly stupid ideas that are sure to fail.

# ? Mar 28, 2022 20:27

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Everyone's a loving moron good lord

# ? Mar 28, 2022 20:30

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

I'm glad I don't plan on getting married, that'd be just one more opportunity for my stupidity to be revealed in front of a large audience

# ? Mar 28, 2022 20:35

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Just drink one glass of wine and one glass of whiskey before you go out there and you'll be fine.

# ? Mar 28, 2022 20:35

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Quackles posted:

Boy, have I got a story for you...

The Glue Famine (long read, worth it)

that was a pretty good read, cheers

slime slime slime slime

# ? Mar 28, 2022 20:48

deety: Aug 2, 2004; zombies + sharks = fun

Every wedding I've ever been to with some kind of transformer dress has ended in a wardrobe malfunction. Either the bustle won't go up in the first place or it falls down after like ten minutes or someone tears something while trying to get the dress into reception mode.

Like a lot of wedding-related nonsense, those dresses seem like a way to get you to spend even more money on something that'll just stress you out.

# ? Mar 28, 2022 20:51

Johnny Truant: Jul 22, 2008

Thought it was a transformers themed wedding, now I'm disappointed

# ? Mar 28, 2022 20:55

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

The dumbest thing I've seen in most weddings I've attended is an aisle runner. It is absolutely going to catch on your floor-length dress. The guy who told you he'd tape it to the floor? He'll forget. I once had to stick my foot in the aisle to save the bride from carrying the runner all the way to the altar.

# ? Mar 28, 2022 21:05

holtemon: May 2, 2019; Dancing is forbidden

Hughlander posted:

Today on the lowest low stakes AITA

AITA for not eating the bread part of a calzone and only eating the meatballs and cheese?

Reddit of course decided this 15 year old kid being a kid is an rear end in a top hat.

This was me at 15 and still me at almost 40.

A calzone is like half a loaf of bread (and that's being generous) lol just give me the good stuff that's inside.

# ? Mar 28, 2022 21:22

The Bee: Nov 25, 2012; Making his way to the ring . . .
from Deep in the Jungle . . .

The Big Monkey!

AITA for calling my neighbour disrespectful and telling her this was the last time she lets in our cat?

quote:

Me and my girlfriend adopted a beautiful Norwegian long hair from an animal shelter about 2 years ago. He's very loved and gets attention all the time, which the little furball doesn't seem to mind one bit.

We actually met our upstairs neighbor when she was petting him, and her and my girlfriend became friends. That friendship lasted until our cat started spending more and more time at her place. More and more frequently our routine was interrupted when M (our cat) would stay at her place overnight. We live in a large appartment complex on the ground floor whereas she lives on the 3rd with a nice view. M can walk up there easily.

We weren't happy but tolerated it at first, as long as he wouldn't consider her place a second home, and as long as he only ate at home.

He started to act differently with us. We'd let him out after he kept begging and he would just end up inside her appartment. He'd skip breakfast and dinner sometimes. He stopped playing and purring. We got jealous and missed our little friend and the relationship we had.

Slowly my girlfriend started subtly letting her know about our perspective hoping that she would take the hint, but she never did. She actually seemed to purposely ignore the topic. After months of frustration and hints my girlfriend sent her a long (and really polite im my opinion) voice message explaining the situation and making it clear that we were officially asking her to stop letting M in. I assumed she was upset but had understood the message.

That was 3 months ago. She never replied to the text and we haven't spoken to her or seen her since.

That is until today.

Our cat didn't come home and we hadn't seen him for over 24 hours. My girlfriend made a Facebook post in the appartment group and I went out to search the block. As a last resort I walked up the stairs to see if he happened to be hanging out in the hall close to her door. As I walked up she opened the door and let OUR cat out.

I was livid. I confronted her and asked her why M was there. She said he just came in for 2 hours. She argued that she was totally done with us after the vocal message and that if we didn't want M to enter her house we should just keep him inside. I called her disrespectful. Told her we asked her nicely countless times. I told her it's done, basta. Don't let him in again. We left it at that.

She's an animal lover. Cried for days after her hamster died. She's 33 years old. Nothing wrong with any of that, just painting a picture.

I know she convinces herself that she's just letting the cat do what he wants. If the cat wants to be at her place, why stop him?

I know she loves M and takes good care of him. She bought a lot of toys when she first started letting him in. She always insisted on babysitting when we went on holidays, even if we'd already found others to do it for us.

I did a lot of googling and found many mixed responses, so I come here. Am I the rear end in a top hat for not letting my cat do what he apparently wants and telling her to stop letting him in?

EDIT:

There seems to be some confusion so I'll clarify a few things. In my country it's quite normal here to let your cats outside during the day. From the comments it seems that this is not the case everywhere. Ahem USA folks ahem.

It's an open complex. Most doors lead you directly outside. We have a big grass field just outside our door. We also have a 30 square meter (322 square feet) apartment with 1 room (and a bathroom) and it feels cruel to keep our cat here his entire life when he clearly wants to go out. Which, again, is normal here.

UPDATE:

Neighbour texted me saying she won't let him in again and to say she wants to cut contact with us completely.

EDIT:

If you're going to judge me as the rear end in a top hat please give a reason other than letting cats out is bad. That is not the point of contention here.

In Europe, ditching your pet and endangering local wildlife is completely Nermal.

# ? Mar 28, 2022 21:26

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

My roommate hates me because of my spiritual beliefs

quote:

I (22F) have been living with my roommate (24F) for a few months now. She is Christian and I am Pagan. When I discovered she was to be my roommate I reached out to her to get to know her and we had a few friendly conversations. After we both got settled there was an obvious difference in our decor preferences that her mom decided to ask me about. She has crosses and Bible verses everywhere, bright colorful things. I have my Occult like decor, gothic, witchy, etc. Her mom was very respectful and seemed to be curious about my beliefs so I shared my tarot cards with her, and then she talked about how she has witnessed deliverance from demons within her church. It was a respectful disagreement and appreciation for each other�s differences. However, ever since then my roommate has been hateful towards me. Every time I come home and her door is open, she slams her door shut.

THIS is what really pisses me off. When I returned from Winter Break, I noticed my decor was missing. She literally pulled my wall decor down, gathered my other decor, and stuffed it beneath the sink. I found that really odd, but I tried to give her the benefit the doubt and assume that maybe she had her conservative grandparents over and didn�t want them to see that stuff and forgot to put it back. I just put it back and didn�t mention it.

I return from Spring Break, and she�s done the same thing again. Once again, I put my decorations back, and because I�m not naturally an assertive person, I didn�t say anything. She seemed angry that I put them back. When she got home that day I said hi to her, and she completely ignored me. The next day she bought fake plants and placed them in front of my decorations so they couldn�t be seen. What am I supposed to do in response to that? Move her plants?

I don�t know what to do about this. The solution would probably be to talk to her about this but what should I say? My friend told me that because she touched my decorations that I should just turn her crosses upside down, and let her come home to see that. While that would be hilarious, I�m not going to stoop to her level of immaturity and intolerance.

Sure, I'd watch this sitcom.

# ? Mar 28, 2022 21:31

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

I am for releasing all housecats as a form of accelerationism.

# ? Mar 28, 2022 21:32

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Biplane posted:

I am for releasing all housecats as a form of accelerationism.

Sure, coyotes gotta eat.

# ? Mar 28, 2022 21:35

External Organs: Mar 3, 2006; One time i prank called a bear buildin workshop and said I wanted my mamaws ashes put in a teddy from where she loved them things so well... The woman on the phone did not skip a beat. She just said, "Brang her on down here. We've did it before."

r/relationships: people are going to think I'm weird (mom, I am!)

# ? Mar 28, 2022 21:48

run on sentience: Mar 22, 2022

Calzone mom would be a bad parent if she didn't try to correct her 15 year old behaving like a fussy toddler in public. Maybe she could have gone about it better, but if you let that slide, you end up with an adult daughter who cries when they can't bring their own chicken nuggies to a fancy steakhouse.

# ? Mar 28, 2022 21:53

Peaceful Anarchy: Sep 18, 2005; sXe
I am the math man.

The Bee posted:

AITA for calling my neighbour disrespectful and telling her this was the last time she lets in our cat?

If you're going to judge me as the rear end in a top hat please give a reason other than letting cats out is bad. That is not the point of contention here.

Either OP sucks because they let the cat roam free and don't control it, or OP sucks because, despite pretending to believe in cat freedom, they insist on asserting ownership and control when the cat decides the non neglectful cat lady is a better friend to hang out with. OP is the rear end in a top hat either way.

# ? Mar 28, 2022 22:01

Fork of Unknown Origins: Oct 21, 2005; Gotta Herd On?

run on sentience posted:

Calzone mom would be a bad parent if she didn't try to correct her 15 year old behaving like a fussy toddler in public. Maybe she could have gone about it better, but if you let that slide, you end up with an adult daughter who cries when they can't bring their own chicken nuggies to a fancy steakhouse.

She wasn�t being fussy though. It was too much food and she was just eating the part and liked the best since she couldn�t eat it all anyway.

# ? Mar 28, 2022 22:32

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

The Bee posted:

AITA for calling my neighbour disrespectful and telling her this was the last time she lets in our cat?

In Europe, ditching your pet and endangering local wildlife is completely Nermal.

# ? Mar 28, 2022 22:35

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

AITA for making my bf follow rules when he drives my car?

quote:

I (19f) am going on a road trip with my boyfriend (20m) this weekend. We are taking my car, as his was recently totaled in an accident at which he was not at fault.

My car is under my name and I pay for everything including insurance, maintenance, gas, etc. So, if something were to happen, it would be my responsibility only.

My boyfriend wants to split driving for our road trip, partially because I get tired driving for a long time (2hrs is my max) and partially because he misses driving his own car and I�ve been driving him around lately. However, although his accident was not his fault, he has a track record of unsafe driving. Including weaving between lanes, steering with his knees, and �drifting� on backroads. My boyfriend�s friends let him drive their cars in this way and they enjoy it, but I frankly do not.

I sent my boyfriend a list of rules to follow when driving my car, some of the main ones below:

always wear a seatbelt (he usually doesn�t)

both hands on the steering wheel

drive less than 10mph over the speed limit

no weaving between lanes

always use turn signals for merging and turning even if there are no other cars visible

I told him if he broke any of these rules I would make him pull over and switch seats, and he wouldn�t be allowed to drive for the rest of the trip. But now he�s mad and doesn�t want to go at all. His friends also say I�m being controlling and that�s just how he likes to drive to �relieve stress� (it stresses me tf out so I�m not sure how this is possible).

AITA for dictating how my bf drives my car?

Those look familiar, I could swear I saw them somewhere. Possibly some kind of test that was written down? Had to do with driving? I don't know. :thunk:

# ? Mar 28, 2022 22:58

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Absurd Alhazred posted:

AITA for making my bf follow rules when he drives my car?

Those look familiar, I could swear I saw them somewhere. Possibly some kind of test that was written down? Had to do with driving? I don't know.

how much you want to bet that this guy complains bitterly and incessantly that his gf's insurance costs less than his

# ? Mar 28, 2022 23:01

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Absurd Alhazred posted:

AITA for making my bf follow rules when he drives my car?

Those look familiar, I could swear I saw them somewhere. Possibly some kind of test that was written down? Had to do with driving? I don't know.

She already knows he's gonna tokyo drift her car into oncoming traffic, so it's her fault when she lets him drive it and he does

# ? Mar 28, 2022 23:04

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Absurd Alhazred posted:

AITA for making my bf follow rules when he drives my car?

Those look familiar, I could swear I saw them somewhere. Possibly some kind of test that was written down? Had to do with driving? I don't know.

Oh man, this lady must be super controlli-

*extremely reasonable, expected safety behaviors*

Man gently caress that guy, his accident not being his fault was coincidence at best

# ? Mar 28, 2022 23:06

Lottery of Babylon: Apr 25, 2012; STRAIGHT TROPIN'

run on sentience posted:

Calzone mom would be a bad parent if she didn't try to correct her 15 year old behaving like a fussy toddler in public. Maybe she could have gone about it better, but if you let that slide, you end up with an adult daughter who cries when they can't bring their own chicken nuggies to a fancy steakhouse.

Either we read very different posts or you've met the most perfect Stepford robot toddlers.

# ? Mar 28, 2022 23:07

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Absurd Alhazred posted:

AITA for making my bf follow rules when he drives my car?

Honestly, maybe road trips aren't a thing to do if you can't drive more than two hours at a time and your partner is prepping for his role in the "what not to do" section of a driver's ed video

# ? Mar 28, 2022 23:09

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Lottery of Babylon posted:

Either we read very different posts or you've met the most perfect Stepford robot toddlers.

I think it�s more goon is weird and accidentally revealed it trying to own someone.

A classic

# ? Mar 28, 2022 23:16

bell jar: Feb 25, 2009

Megillah Gorilla posted:

You can often buy old keys at Salvation Army stores, just grab handfuls of them from whatever bowl they're being kept in for a couple bucks.

Every person who insists on a copy of my keys "just in case" or "everyone in the family has each others' keys in case of an emergency" has a different set of keys and it makes me so happy.

I love this

# ? Mar 28, 2022 23:33

nashona: May 8, 2014; Though she be but little, she is fierce

Evil Willow posted:

Double post, but this one is too good to pass up!

AITA for being mad at my gf for acting undignified?

don't hold them in
:feart:

# ? Mar 28, 2022 23:41

Mafic Rhyolite: Nov 7, 2020; by Hand Knit

run on sentience posted:

Calzone mom would be a bad parent if she didn't try to correct her 15 year old behaving like a fussy toddler in public. Maybe she could have gone about it better, but if you let that slide, you end up with an adult daughter who cries when they can't bring their own chicken nuggies to a fancy steakhouse.

Not eating the bread on a calzone isn't a picky eater thing, it's just a shitload of extra carbs and less room for the good part.

# ? Mar 28, 2022 23:55

Nomnom Cookie: Aug 30, 2009

Evil Willow posted:

Double post, but this one is too good to pass up!

AITA for being mad at my gf for acting undignified?

love a good story of stinky justice

# ? Mar 28, 2022 23:58

run on sentience: Mar 22, 2022

Lottery of Babylon posted:

Either we read very different posts or you've met the most perfect Stepford robot toddlers.

I admit that the kids in my life are generally pretty good when it comes to eating but I've definitely seen them pull the same thing as op:
1. Request a certain meal
2. Make a mess dismantling the meal and only eating the good bits
3. Sulk for the evening when mommy tells them 'if you don't eat the rest, we're not coming back here again'

If she wanted to act her age, she would cut off whatever portion seemed adequate and eat it bread and all. Then either offer the rest to her parents or get it wrapped up for later. If she didn't want bread, she shouldn't have ordered something that is mostly bread. I'm sure they would have provided her with just the toppings if she'd asked for that in the first place. Unless she's like homeopathic spaghetti OP and likes the toppings to still have an essence of bread.

run on sentience fucked around with this message at 00:08 on Mar 29, 2022

# ? Mar 29, 2022 00:05

snergle: Aug 3, 2013; A kind little mouse!

Invisible Clergy posted:

Do you have the period one? I don't remember that post.

Socrates said the same poo poo about kids these days and how society was going down the aqueducts because of writing. Fortunately, Plato documented this to laugh about how wrong he was. At a certain point, regardless of calendar age, some people just choose to boomerbrain themselves. There have always been idiot reactionaries, and unfortunately always will be.

Most definitely. One way or another though, these chucklefucks are going to find out Michigan's a castle doctrine state. Seems like kind of a bad place to run this scam.

leaded gas fumes leaded water and wine. same poo poo different era

# ? Mar 29, 2022 00:07

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

run on sentience posted:

I admit that the kids in my life are generally pretty good when it comes to eating but I've definitely seen them pull the same thing as op:
1. Request a certain meal
2. Make a mess dismantling the meal and only eating the good bits
3. Sulk for the evening when mommy tells them 'if you don't eat the rest, we're not coming back here again'

If she wanted to act her age, she would cut off whatever portion seemed adequate and eat it bread and all. Then either offer the rest to her parents or get it wrapped up for later. If she didn't want bread, she shouldn't have ordered something that is mostly bread.

Yeah, instead of the Calzone she could have chosen from pizza and subs.

Hold on, I'm told those are also mostly bread. :rolleyes:

# ? Mar 29, 2022 00:07

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# ? May 29, 2024 04:50

quantumwell: Jun 22, 2013

holtemon posted:

This was me at 15 and still me at almost 40.

A calzone is like half a loaf of bread (and that's being generous) lol just give me the good stuff that's inside.

Perhaps some pizza in a cup would work for you

# ? Mar 29, 2022 00:08

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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