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the popes toes
Oct 10, 2004

As a rule, a regime perishes not because of the strength of its enemies but because of the uselessness of its defenders.

Lev Tikhomirov, Russian conservative theorist, 1911

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Nenonen
Oct 22, 2009

Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa
Helsingin Sanomat shared a few Putin :airquote: jokes :airquote:

quote:

Vladimir Putin visited Adolf Hitler in Third Reich. Hitler showed Putin Germany's achievements: the new Reichstag, brand new Panzers and a big Autobahn. Suddenly a starved Jewish protester wearing a big yellow star on his coat showed up. Gestapo officers beat the Jew up and took him away.

"I'm sorry for the disturbance" Hitler apologized.

"It's okay" Putin replied. "Them fascists can be found in all countries."

quote:

During Putin's first term as a president the rebuilt cathedral of Christ the Saviour became ready. There was to be a ceremonial parade to consecrate it according to orthodox customs. After his atheist KGB years Putin now wanted to participate in the ceremonies.

The next day Putin met the Orthodox church's patriach Alexey on street.

"It was an impressive procession", Putin thanked the patriarch. "And the after-party had such exciting rituals that I stayed there until wee hours."

"But Vladimir Vladimirovich", the patriarch wondered. "The cathedral will be consecrated next Sunday. Yesterday was the Pride parade."

quote:

In the spring of 2022 the Luhansk region was arranging a referendum for joining the Russian Federation. Just before the referendum the office of the central election committee was broken into. The next day the committee's phone rang:

"This is President Putin. What has happened?"

"The fascist saboteurs made an arrogant provocation on the election office."

"Was anything valuable taken?"

"Fortunately not. The next Sunday's plebiscite results were kept in a safe."

quote:

Vladimir Putin had laid his eyes on the gymnastics olympic winner Alina Kabayeva and invited her to an intimate dinner in Kremlin. President offered the young lady delicious food and sweet wine. He told Kabayeva of his life and stared affectionately into her eyes.

"May I hold your hand, Alina Maritovna?" Putin whispered sensually.

"Pardon, what did you say?" Kabayeva shouted back from the other end of the table.

quote:

A Syrian, a North Korean and a Russian dictator went into sauna together. They had an argument on who was the cruellest of them all.

"I am the biggest meanie", Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad boasted. "To stay in power I have waged a cruel war against my own people since 2011 and even killed them with chemical weapons."

"That's nothing", dismissed Kim Jong Un. "My grandpa, dad and I have sent millions of our citizens to camps, where they eat roots and beetles until they starve to death."

Vladimir Putin thought for a moment and said:

"I have built a national doping program because I can't stand fair competition."

Kim and al-Assad laughed at Putin: "You have no standing in this competition with us!"

Putin smirked coyly, stepped down from the benches, threw a scoopful of Novichok on the rocks and exited the sauna.

quote:

Putin was visiting a primary school in Moscow to tell about Russia's great war achievements and patriotism. Then he asked if anyone had any questions.

Little Igor raised his hand and asked: "First, why did Russia occupy the Crimean peninsula, and second, why did Russia invade Ukraine?"

At that moment the bells rang for recess. After the break pupils returned to class room and Putin once more asked if anyone had questions.

Little Sasha raised his hand and asked: "First, why did the recess bells ring 20 minutes early, and second, where is Igor?"

quote:

Vladimir Putin died and arrived to the last judgment. Putin vocally questioned the international legal foundations of the court, but to no avail. He was tossed to Hell. But then among the flames and other evil-doers he saw a familiar face. Josif Stalin had also been sentenced to an eternal condemnation.

"Ah, now I understand!" Putin cheered up. "It was russophobia."

Thank you for reading, now report yourselves to the FSB.

go play outside Skyler
Nov 7, 2005


but what if ukraine declared today that they want to become part of poland, romania or slovakia?

then the russia army would have to retreat because they would be attacking a nato country!

i am such a genius, please give me a billion dollars

cinci zoo sniper
Mar 15, 2013




https://twitter.com/carlababbvoa/status/1511389374281396224

go play outside Skyler posted:

but what if ukraine declared today that they want to become part of poland, romania or slovakia?

then the russia army would have to retreat because they would be attacking a nato country!

i am such a genius, please give me a billion dollars

I would actually read the alt-fiction where Ukraine hold referendum to become a part of Slovakia.

Nenonen posted:

Helsingin Sanomat shared a few Putin :airquote: jokes :airquote:

Thank you for reading, now report yourselves to the FSB.

I had no idea that Sanomat was in my university class.

CommieGIR
Aug 22, 2006

The blue glow is a feature, not a bug


Pillbug
The 51st State: Ukraine joins the United States!

eke out
Feb 24, 2013




I'm guessing additional pilots getting trained in safety? Makes a lot of sense, it's not actually that expensive to fly dudes out of Poland nor does it take that much time, and it removes the chance of retaliation altogether

Marshal Prolapse
Jun 23, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Total clown show.

https://twitter.com/alextaylornews/status/1511205766576971781?s=21&t=FVZMiRQK541bwQDpsRXWJg

Barrel Cactaur
Oct 6, 2021

cinci zoo sniper posted:

That confirms my point then, since I was bringing an example of a surveillance state that remains a broadly liberal democracy.

The difference is the UK is doing the surveillance program as a jobs program for cold war spooks, not to fight a real enemy.

Barrel Cactaur fucked around with this message at 18:36 on Apr 5, 2022

cinci zoo sniper
Mar 15, 2013




:nms: Ukrainian tank seemingly blows up a few vehicles in a Russian column

https://twitter.com/osinttechnical/status/1511395651300515846

That Italian Guy
Jul 25, 2012

We need the equivalent of the shrimp = small pastry avatar, but for ambulances and their mysteries now.
^^^^^^^ Warning: dead bodies next to a tank towards the end.

Barrel Cactaur posted:

The difference is the UK is doing the surveillance program as a jobs program for cold war spooks, not to fight a real enemy.
I guess if any career field has had a potential surge in recent times, it's "cold war spook".

That Italian Guy fucked around with this message at 18:41 on Apr 5, 2022

GaussianCopula
Jun 5, 2011
Jews fleeing the Holocaust are not in any way comparable to North Africans, who don't flee genocide but want to enjoy the social welfare systems of Northern Europe.

eke out posted:

I'm guessing additional pilots getting trained in safety? Makes a lot of sense, it's not actually that expensive to fly dudes out of Poland nor does it take that much time, and it removes the chance of retaliation altogether

Pilots are probably the least useful personal you can train, given the issues with logistics for spare parts, repeairs, rearmament etc.

It's far more likely that the US is training them to use the stuff they are already supplying (drones, anti-artillery radar, better SAM etc.) and not how to fly F16/F35, which they can't support anyway.

PerilPastry
Oct 10, 2012

eke out posted:

I'm guessing additional pilots getting trained in safety? Makes a lot of sense, it's not actually that expensive to fly dudes out of Poland nor does it take that much time, and it removes the chance of retaliation altogether

Yeah I can see that. Maybe they're training guys to operate and service Patriot batteries too.

Fray
Oct 22, 2010

cinci zoo sniper posted:

:nms: Ukrainian tank seemingly blows up a few vehicles in a Russian column

https://twitter.com/osinttechnical/status/1511395651300515846

Somebody geolocated this to Nova Basan, east of Kyiv on one of the main highways. I'd guess this is a Russian column getting intercepted during the Big Pullback.

EscapeHere
Jan 16, 2005
Can any finance or forex goons here explain in simple terms what's happening with the ruble? i.e. why is it higher now than when the war started? All the predictions were that it would crash heavily.

I'm hearing people say the current values aren't "real", they're manipulated, they're not being traded on the open market, etc, but what does this mean in real terms? Does this mean Russia will manipulate their currency for eternity or are they just delaying the inevitable?

Dapper_Swindler
Feb 14, 2012

Im glad my instant dislike in you has been validated again and again.

cinci zoo sniper posted:

:nms: Ukrainian tank seemingly blows up a few vehicles in a Russian column

https://twitter.com/osinttechnical/status/1511395651300515846

fuckers are just blind firing hard. and getting picked off. they arnt even trying to flank with infantry or anything.

Trump
Jul 16, 2003

Cute

eke out posted:

I'm guessing additional pilots getting trained in safety? Makes a lot of sense, it's not actually that expensive to fly dudes out of Poland nor does it take that much time, and it removes the chance of retaliation altogether

Pilots, maybe? But definitely army officers, maybe even NCOs. It makes a lot of sense to train the backbone outside the conflict zone and send them back to train their units in country.

CommieGIR
Aug 22, 2006

The blue glow is a feature, not a bug


Pillbug

Dapper_Swindler posted:

fuckers are just blind firing hard. and getting picked off. they arnt even trying to flank with infantry or anything.

I only see one good hit by the tank, the first vehicle hit, everything else it appears to miss?

Kraftwerk
Aug 13, 2011
i do not have 10,000 bircoins, please stop asking

cinci zoo sniper posted:

:nms: Ukrainian tank seemingly blows up a few vehicles in a Russian column

https://twitter.com/osinttechnical/status/1511395651300515846

I was wondering when we'd start seeing some armored warfare like this. It's crazy how difficult it looks to aim with these Russian tanks, the optics must be awful. I hope those guys made it out alive because 1 tank vs an entire column like that looks like terrible odds. You can see AT fire from the infantry too and they were moving to flank him around the house.

Antigravitas
Dec 8, 2019

Die Rettung fuer die Landwirte:
There are too many weird cuts in that video.

It is striking that a tank can just sit that close to a convoy though.

And yes, lots of misses. Are those thing super old?

Deki
May 12, 2008

It's Hammer Time!

EscapeHere posted:

Can any finance or forex goons here explain in simple terms what's happening with the ruble? i.e. why is it higher now than when the war started? All the predictions were that it would crash heavily.

I'm hearing people say the current values aren't "real", they're manipulated, they're not being traded on the open market, etc, but what does this mean in real terms? Does this mean Russia will manipulate their currency for eternity or are they just delaying the inevitable?

I'm probably not any more financially literate than you are but I would imagine that even the nations willing to trade with Russia atm will refuse to trade in Rubles while it's so manipulated.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

Fray posted:

This article is weak poo poo.

Yeah, it's from the Daily DianaExpress.

dominoeffect
Oct 1, 2013

CommieGIR posted:

I only see one good hit by the tank, the first vehicle hit, everything else it appears to miss?

The tank at 0:11 seems to have some serious smoke billowing out of it, I wonder if that got hit as well? There's also the vehicle on fire near the tree line at the end, dunno if that one was hit by the same tank or not

Kavros
May 18, 2011

sleep sleep sleep
fly fly post post
sleep sleep sleep

EscapeHere posted:

Can any finance or forex goons here explain in simple terms what's happening with the ruble? i.e. why is it higher now than when the war started? All the predictions were that it would crash heavily.

I'm hearing people say the current values aren't "real", they're manipulated, they're not being traded on the open market, etc, but what does this mean in real terms? Does this mean Russia will manipulate their currency for eternity or are they just delaying the inevitable?

While the extent of the manipulation involved is more complicated, imagine if as president of a country I demand we selectively prohibit sale or trade of a currency, and prop it up with declarative assessments of it in the direction of where I want the value to be to look good.

It's all performative and doesn't really change anything except for further coring out any future trust in the currency for international markets (thus making things worse), but much like with many other dictatorships, they're all about artificially curating symbolic strength at the cost of real operable national functionality.

ranbo das
Oct 16, 2013


EscapeHere posted:

Can any finance or forex goons here explain in simple terms what's happening with the ruble? i.e. why is it higher now than when the war started? All the predictions were that it would crash heavily.

I'm hearing people say the current values aren't "real", they're manipulated, they're not being traded on the open market, etc, but what does this mean in real terms? Does this mean Russia will manipulate their currency for eternity or are they just delaying the inevitable?

Russia's central bank says "you can buy 100 rubles from us for $1, anything else is illegal".

Because you can't trade rubles for dollars internationally (not convertible, illegal) and banks can't offer other exchange rates (also illegal) that's the "exchange rate". Also most of those transactions are one sided, i.e. the average citizen can buy 100 rubles for $1 but cannot buy $1 for 100 rubles.

It is not sustainable long term

the popes toes
Oct 10, 2004

Russian language, but no translation needed as you'll get the point. The younger cadet's exhortations are heartbreaking given his likely future.

https://twitter.com/irgarner/status/1511397836063232000?cxt=HHwWgMC-zd-UyPkpAAAA

ringu0
Feb 24, 2013


William Bear posted:

Russian ambassador to the UN is still bitching about this? Truly they are the real victims!

https://twitter.com/MID_RF/status/1511363654167502855?t=dUNjnsCjHV9F6BjW4dtfqQ&s=19


What's the significance of numbers on MID_RF's profile picture?

Computer, enhance!

Mr-Spain
Aug 27, 2003

Bullshit... you can be mine.

Antigravitas posted:

There are too many weird cuts in that video.

It is striking that a tank can just sit that close to a convoy though.

And yes, lots of misses. Are those thing super old?

Yes but it's daytime and it's not trying to fire on the move. So it has that at least going for it.

Dapper_Swindler
Feb 14, 2012

Im glad my instant dislike in you has been validated again and again.

the popes toes posted:

Russian language, but no translation needed as you'll get the point. The younger cadet's exhortations are heartbreaking given his likely future.

https://twitter.com/irgarner/status/1511397836063232000?cxt=HHwWgMC-zd-UyPkpAAAA

i am just picturing this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLyCkwqe-qQ&t

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZnjUFa47rw

Nenonen
Oct 22, 2009

Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa

Antigravitas posted:

There are too many weird cuts in that video.

It is striking that a tank can just sit that close to a convoy though.

And yes, lots of misses. Are those thing super old?

Probably a very narrow key hole it is peeking through and maybe smoke and flames from the burning vehicle hindering target acquisition a little. That is point blank range for tanks.

the popes toes posted:

Russian language, but no translation needed as you'll get the point. The younger cadet's exhortations are heartbreaking given his likely future.

https://twitter.com/irgarner/status/1511397836063232000?cxt=HHwWgMC-zd-UyPkpAAAA

WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE?

Nenonen fucked around with this message at 19:14 on Apr 5, 2022

EscapeHere
Jan 16, 2005

ranbo das posted:


Because you can't trade rubles for dollars internationally (not convertible, illegal) and banks can't offer other exchange rates (also illegal)

Thanks, that explanation helps. Is it illegal due to US sanctions, or due to Russian laws?

Wildeyes
Nov 3, 2011

CommieGIR posted:

The 51st State: Ukraine joins the United States!

Texas scrambles to find out if it will now be the second largest state or the third

Bar Ran Dun
Jan 22, 2006




Count Roland posted:

Well he specifically said it wouldn't be liberal, which is why I used that term.

“Liberal” could mean different things here, probably want to pin down which one of those things especially with the euro/US differences in the meaning of the word.

Crespolini
Mar 9, 2014

Bar Ran Dun posted:

“Liberal” could mean different things here, probably want to pin down which one of those things especially with the euro/US differences in the meaning of the word.

It seems pretty obvious from the context?

Marshal Prolapse
Jun 23, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Ah man Downfall is one of the funniest movies I had seen. I double paired it with Inglorious Basterds. Downfall is an extremely well made and well acted movie, but all but say 10 people in the movie (mostly the Gobbles kids) are detestable shits. Watching the cry and whine and blow there brains out was goddamn hilarious. Also when fatty blows up his family during dinner.

MiddleOne
Feb 17, 2011

EscapeHere posted:

Can any finance or forex goons here explain in simple terms what's happening with the ruble? i.e. why is it higher now than when the war started? All the predictions were that it would crash heavily.

I'm hearing people say the current values aren't "real", they're manipulated, they're not being traded on the open market, etc, but what does this mean in real terms? Does this mean Russia will manipulate their currency for eternity or are they just delaying the inevitable?

Foreign exchange rates are a balance game so as long as you're willing to intervene you can always artificially tip the scale to get virtually any valuation you want. Problem is, there's no such thing as a sustainable long-term intervention and the more extreme the intervention the worse the consequences are.

Russia is intervening big-time and in increasingly round-about manners since the US locked off its intended strategy of simply gradually selling its massive foreign-exchange reserve. It is not sustainable.

Doccers
Aug 15, 2000


Patron Saint of Chickencheese

Antigravitas posted:

There are too many weird cuts in that video.

It is striking that a tank can just sit that close to a convoy though.

And yes, lots of misses. Are those thing super old?

T-64 was introduced in the 1960's yeah. As far as I know, they still utilize a purely optical fire control system - they do have a computer but they need to manually enter things like range, etc into the computer to have it calculate. Though, at that distance, range isn't a terribly huge issue.

But I recall seeing some documentaries about just how.... terrible... russian optics were and are. In particular, people trying to learn how to use the gunnery system on the BTR-80, it was just terribly confusing, needing to use both eyes that see different views, etc.

GABA ghoul
Oct 29, 2011

the popes toes posted:

Russian language, but no translation needed as you'll get the point. The younger cadet's exhortations are heartbreaking given his likely future.

https://twitter.com/irgarner/status/1511397836063232000?cxt=HHwWgMC-zd-UyPkpAAAA

Someone do an edit where it ends with a picture of a dead Russian soldier in the mud and condoms and watches hanging out of his pockets.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Zhanism
Apr 1, 2005
Death by Zhanism. So Judged.

the popes toes posted:

Russian language, but no translation needed as you'll get the point. The younger cadet's exhortations are heartbreaking given his likely future.

https://twitter.com/irgarner/status/1511397836063232000?cxt=HHwWgMC-zd-UyPkpAAAA

Well if the comment about RA taking cadets and instructors from military academies to plug their officer casualties, I hope these will learn first hand how great the RA is.

ranbo das
Oct 16, 2013


EscapeHere posted:

Thanks, that explanation helps. Is it illegal due to US sanctions, or due to Russian laws?

Yes. US/EU sanctions prevented it so Russia turned around and outlawed it as well, kinda a "you can't fire me I quit" type of thing. There are restrictions on basically all financial products (stocks can only be bought and sold by Russians, dividends only payable to Russians, etc).

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Coquito Ergo Sum
Feb 9, 2021

Kraftwerk posted:

I was wondering when we'd start seeing some armored warfare like this. It's crazy how difficult it looks to aim with these Russian tanks, the optics must be awful. I hope those guys made it out alive because 1 tank vs an entire column like that looks like terrible odds. You can see AT fire from the infantry too and they were moving to flank him around the house.

Antigravitas posted:

There are too many weird cuts in that video.

It is striking that a tank can just sit that close to a convoy though.

And yes, lots of misses. Are those thing super old?

So the Russians didn't have tanks, technically. Those looked mostly like BTRs, wheeled APCs with autocannons/heavy machineguns mounted on top. I don't know much about their optics, but they didn't know where that tank was and decided that they were just going to bug out of that road.

As for the tank, it likely had poor optics, as nearly anything but the newest T-90s (Russian tanks) have some pretty last-gen-and-earlier optics and fire control systems. Going by assessments I've read, picking targets is also really hard in those especially-loud T-series tanks.

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