(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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i severed from my mom and stepdad the second i stopped living with them and it has brought me nothing but joy and happiness
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Apr 14, 2022 11:18
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| # ? May 26, 2024 00:05 |
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MLK Ultra you should probably see a therapist and talk about this!
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Apr 14, 2022 12:51
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Jorge Bell posted:MLK Ultra you should probably see a therapist and talk about this! On it.
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Apr 14, 2022 12:54
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I'd been feeling kind of in a rut in therapy for the last couple weeks and then at my most recent session he came at me fuckin hard. I mean that in a good way - it was a devastating insight into a character flaw that needs to be addressed. Definitely not feeling like I'm wasting my sessions now.MLK Ultra posted:On it. You're a good n funny poster and I know stuff is rough right now but I hope that you're able to right the ship and get to a good place mentally.
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Apr 14, 2022 13:40
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Raine posted:i severed from my mom and stepdad the second i stopped living with them and it has brought me nothing but joy and happiness The second i get disability (IF i get it  ) I'm applying for discounted housing somewhere. I'll probably have to maintain a connection with them to use things like the yard/tools/etc, but at least i'll be able to go days without seeing them or hearing fox news turning them into raging morlocks (more so than before)
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Apr 14, 2022 15:29
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I have a friend who is being emotionally abused by her spouse, and it's escalating to physical threats. She goes to couples therapy with her spouse. Apparently, they both see that therapist individually. The therapist knows she can't compartmentalize this support well, so she ensures that she only sees one of them at a time. For a few weeks, one of them gets therapy. Then the other has a chance to get therapy. Right now, her spouse is getting the individual therapy.  I'm telling her just how hosed up that is. I encouraged her to tell the therapist what's happening, and not put up with couples therapy when she isn't getting individual therapy in favor of her abuser. She wrote a short letter to the therapist, and is skipping the couples therapy today. I'm proud of her. Doing my best to be supportive, while respecting boundaries.And no, this isn't the friend I mentioned a few months ago who is being physically abused by her spouse  I called social services about it, and never owned up to it. She didn't respond much for a while, but is responsive now. I feel a lot like coming clean about it.I'm setting boundaries with that narcissist from the in-person support group. I'm just going to be open with people about being bullied. It feels incredibly bad to cover for the person who is treating me like poo poo. I'm going to stop doing the extra work that I was pressured into doing by this person. I made it clear that I nominate this person to do the work! I'm still getting vivid dreams from my medication. Last night, I dreamt that someone made a dungeon master's screen for Magic the Gathering. I kept trying to tell people that it wasn't useful. The screen was tiny and card-sized.
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Apr 14, 2022 16:45
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no job, unemployment run out, goddamn things are looking up
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Apr 14, 2022 21:01
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Tulip posted:You're a good n funny poster and I know stuff is rough right now but I hope that you're able to right the ship and get to a good place mentally. I managed to get someone I could talk to for around 45m-1h and they had some solid suggestions for folks that should have openings where I can talk to them on more of a long-term basis. What I wrote was really just me being upset over a recurring theme of gaslighting / one parent with no one to talk to and a lot of stress so I get to be the person who gets the mean calls. Was going to unload on the other parent but it occurred to me that they probably weren't told about any of it. One parent starts poo poo for a reaction, starts some poo poo, hangs up. Then when I'm unresponsive when the other needs something: I make the anticipated reaction and I'm Bad Child. They're both biological parents. Other parent hit me up last night saying they've been ill, making sure I was ok since I 86'd my FB (to avoid a public meltdown post). So, they were never told about any of that exchange. Had a good talk about how this almost always happens when I post about something good happening (an interview in this case; previously getting a job, getting engaged, getting another job, booking a vacation) and if that's a pattern that's observable but I still want to keep answering those calls: Maybe my expectations should be reigned in. And that if I'm going to use statements explaining why I'm struggling -- with the knowledge that the response will be them saying how they've got it worse or they made it through worse just fine -- maybe make less of those statements and keep the conversation away from the subjective understanding that they only want to talk about how bad their subjective is and diminish any subjective statements I make. And that this isn't really a behavior I can fix or argue back into normality. The tl;dr was "You know that no one forces you to talk to them, right? If it's damaging, you have the right to make that choice but it doesn't sound like you want to because you recognize that some of this may be a developing mental illness in one of them. If that's the case, want to vent and talk about how this triggers you / how it's always the same button they're mashing to get a response out of you?" It was topical but helpful and I'm digging into the people that were suggested. It was one of those cases where it's a non-emergency but it upset the ever-living poo poo out of me and while I appreciate my partner (who was next to me during the exchange) agreeing with me: Needed a professional opinion that was beyond "You're in the Right" and minus some bias. Took like 24h total but I eventually let it go and got on with my bullshit. <3.
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Apr 15, 2022 16:38
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That's good! TBH I think that's kind of a great example of what you can get out of simple coping therapy: it's very easy to get stuck into patterns of behavior that are self-triggering just because it's what we've habitually done and we haven't really taken the full set of all options seriously. The example I recall best from another person's experiences was that they found themselves avoiding showers for days and days at a time because they were so uncomfortable seeing themselves naked. The therapist just said "why don't you shower with the lights off" and bam, simple adaptation to avoid a common trigger. I mean obviously there's a million and one things this doesn't work for but if you can make your life easier you should. You're not making your ability to confront structural problems any easier by draining your own morale and energy. Or as I put it: no need to do your enemy's job for them.
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Apr 15, 2022 19:18
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ya a lot of therapy goes like this client: i feel lovely when i do optional thing x therapist: well dont do that thing then dumbass client: you are so wise cause some people dont feel they have the authority to say no. so it takes that "permission" for lack of a better word
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Apr 16, 2022 15:59
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thehandtruck posted:ya a lot of therapy goes like this Yeah for sure. And a lot of times its client: I feel lovely when I do optional thing x therapist: well don't do that client: I've tried not doing it and it went bad therapist: have you tried...as an adult? client: o gently caress i forgot i'm an adult now lol
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Apr 16, 2022 16:12
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Tulip posted:client: o gently caress i forgot i'm an adult now lol
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Apr 16, 2022 17:35
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But sometimes its Client:"I don't want this thing to happen and its making me actively miserable but its a choice between this and homelessless/death. I cannot simply focus on what I can do and ignore what I have no control over because this is a situation where I have partial control but the exact extent of that partial control varies wildly and attempting to assert more or less control over the situation than it requires leads to trauma and disaster" Therapist: "Wow, that sucks dude, time to ride the whirlwind until it gets better" Client: "yeah..." Therapist has been saying "I'm glad you're alive" when I show up, and he means it sincerely, and I sincerely appreciate it, he is not condescending, and I appreciate his acknowledgement of me achieving something that is hard and harder to do. Ronwayne has issued a correction as of 21:43 on Apr 16, 2022 |
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Apr 16, 2022 21:27
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Sometimes it's really difficult to be without any close family or loved ones. Humans shouldn't feel isolated for years on end. This is awful.
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Apr 17, 2022 23:33
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It's good to see a therapist.
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Apr 18, 2022 15:14
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Wish I could pretend COVID is over, too bad my big genius brain keeps me from leaving my home and getting laid aughhggh
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Apr 18, 2022 23:22
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Jorge Bell posted:Wish I could pretend COVID is over, too bad my big genius brain keeps me from leaving my home and getting laid aughhggh its okay your brain would probably be loving you up anyway, least that's how it's worked for me
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Apr 19, 2022 03:33
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So the new thing with me is horribly unpleasant, intrusive, invasive thoughts. Almost constantly especially when I go to bed and wake up. Sounds like extended homelessness/ptsd might be causing this. The human brain is so fun,it's like it gets more broken just from already being broken. snowballing broken-ness.
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Apr 19, 2022 19:33
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Segata Sanshiro posted:So the new thing with me is horribly unpleasant, intrusive, invasive thoughts. Almost constantly especially when I go to bed and wake up. Sounds like extended homelessness/ptsd might be causing this. The human brain is so fun,it's like it gets more broken just from already being broken. snowballing broken-ness. incredibly same (minus the homelessness). best thing to do is name them as intrusive thoughts, that can make them become boring. all our brains are hosed lol
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Apr 19, 2022 23:52
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So, I'm done with my local NAMI board. The situation with the narcissist in a support group isn't necessarily resolved, but it's something I don't have to deal with any more. I created my new group, where I don't have to play politics or answer to any assholes anymore. I'm getting calls, emails and texts from all kinds of people who are interested in joining. I honestly didn't think people were going to join. I essentially ceded the other support group to the narcissist, which feels bad. I could have tried to get this person removed from the organization, and I probably would have succeeded. I'm leaving behind an entire unhealthy dynamic, though. I'm not willing to put up with anyone who pressures me to interact with a toxic person any more. Our MSW intern mentioned having a new respect for the "emotional labor" I've been putting in as I dealt with the board and the peers. That felt good to hear. This was all happening in front of other people, and it was maddening that no one acknowledged any of it. I'm going to be much more careful not to put myself in such a position again. The board says they want to "make it right," but I'm not interested in easing their consciences. I'm going to make sure they don't put any other peers through this.
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Apr 20, 2022 04:22
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You have taken that last step needed to be a true leftist, splitting when the parent org turns to poo poo.   That said, one of the best feelings is venting at an organization/group/leadership figure(s) and leaving and a bunch of people go "thank you for saying what i was thinking" ----------- God. so the loving food stamp agency wants proof from a doctor I'm disabled. They mail out this request on the 8th, i receive it this past friday after 5pm, telling me its due monday. I call and try to delay this, they tell me they will note the delay but there's no way to extend a deadline. -I give the form to my caseworker at the mental health place, after wasting a loving day he tells me my doc refuses to fill it out and told it to take it to my physical doctor -Physical doctor is looking to say my mental health doctor should fill it out -I see physical doctor because mental doctor cannot prescribe schedule drugs but can "recommend" them to a physical doctor -Physical doctor can prescribe schedule drugs but does not want to -I have to pay every month for these drugs because physical health doctor can write a prescription but his clinic cannot fulfill it -Everything is due in 10 hours and literally no one wants to help me lmao I gotta make multiple third parties all work together and do it on a very small time table, this is what senior managers get paid $$$ to do and i'm expected to do it as a disabled person! Ronwayne has issued a correction as of 10:19 on Apr 20, 2022 |
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Apr 20, 2022 08:27
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Welp local media is now going "are you sure you need therapy? most people recover from depression on their own". It's because of the massive therapist shortage (caused by the education being inaccessible due to govt fuckups). They recommend online CBT worksheets instead. (My status: Yep that's the fifth psychiatrist in a row going "no you don't get therapy, it wouldn't do enough".)
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Apr 20, 2022 13:15
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First job interview in years & felt like I was amateur hour again. The couple days of optimistic high have now crashed in to the foreclosed future of the post-mediocre interview. Time 2 Mope.
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Apr 21, 2022 02:46
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unlimited shrimp posted:First job interview in years & felt like I was amateur hour again. The couple days of optimistic high have now crashed in to the foreclosed future of the post-mediocre interview. Time 2 Mope. I wish you good luck and also have to tell you I read this in Rutger Hauer's voice
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Apr 21, 2022 02:51
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i feel like my interview performance is always inversely proportional to how much i want the job
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Apr 21, 2022 08:34
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Raine posted:i feel like my interview performance is always inversely proportional to how much i want the job yeah that's fair. pretty common to choke under pressure. the most significant job interview i had (not my current job but my previous one, that got me out of working minimum wage and into white collar nonsense) i went in with total despair and not giving a gently caress, i was stunned when i got the offer Segata Sanshiro posted:So the new thing with me is horribly unpleasant, intrusive, invasive thoughts. Almost constantly especially when I go to bed and wake up. Sounds like extended homelessness/ptsd might be causing this. The human brain is so fun,it's like it gets more broken just from already being broken. snowballing broken-ness. jesus that's rough. I wish I had more to tell you other than that I've had that too and yeah long term heavy stressors will give you intrusive thoughts you're not wrong about that do you have any leads or anything for getting a roof?
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Apr 21, 2022 14:12
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I have a perverse problem where I'm actually pretty good at job interviews and make a great first impression...which I then steadily burn through over the next 6 months. Basically I can give a good performance as a functioning human being, or do work, but not both*. Turns out we-become-what-we-pretend-to-be doesn't apply to many people with moderate functioning intellectual and emotional disabilities when they pretend to be an extroverted neurotypical. *well, at this point I can't do either Ronwayne has issued a correction as of 15:06 on Apr 21, 2022 |
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Apr 21, 2022 14:56
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I once paid my therapist $200 and she just sat and cried for an hour. Oh well
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Apr 21, 2022 22:38
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MaximilianK posted:I once paid my therapist $200 and she just sat and cried for an hour. Oh well there's a well-crafted marxist joke in here somewhere
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Apr 22, 2022 00:25
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MaximilianK posted:I once paid my therapist $200 and she just sat and cried for an hour. Oh well *sharing the hardest stuff for 49 minutes* “wow, that’s rough. that’s all the time we have, see you in two weeks!” and then she retired
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Apr 22, 2022 00:33
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i'm a white noise poster and i'm here to say doom scrolling harms my brain in a major way so i'm blocking SA in my hosts file until the next national catastrophe peace
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Apr 22, 2022 20:01
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Tulip posted:jesus that's rough. I wish I had more to tell you other than that I've had that too and yeah long term heavy stressors will give you intrusive thoughts you're not wrong about that thanks for replying and no, as far as the homeless thing goes I seem to be boned I can try bootstraps where I am now or I can move back in with an insane terrible abusive excuse for a human being, in a town I never ever wanna see again. the fact that I've taken about a year of homelessness instead, despite how much it blows, should tell you how attractive my other options are Tungsten posted:i'm a white noise poster and i'm here to say same, kinda. I don't keep up with world events and barely post here anymore. my posts were always poo poo anyway and I don't need any more depressing badness right now.
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Apr 22, 2022 20:20
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Segata Sanshiro posted:thanks for replying and no, as far as the homeless thing goes I seem to be boned Jesus yeah. I've only done a few months of that and it is not something I wish on anybody. I'm sure you already know this but the general sequence for getting this poo poo unfucked is to get a room first, then work on job & mental health at the same time. I'm sorry your poo poo's so hosed, I only know/can assist in NYC area.
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Apr 23, 2022 14:41
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I'm quitting a stressful job for another job with my old employer. I’d still be working for my old employer today if they hadn’t moved my old job to another state. The job I'm quitting is high security IT work and the customer support I do is for critical time sensitive stuff. There’s a ton of pressure to fix their poo poo as fast as possible and to never gently caress up. There are also on-call rotations for weeks at a time. The on-call rotations are driving me loving bonkers. I’m guaranteed to get a ton of calls at all hours. There should have been an overnight shift but it’s cheaper to just make a salaried employee do it. On average I lose about 3 to 4 pounds every on-call rotation because I'm too anxious to eat normally. The job I'm taking will pay less but there’s no on-call and I’ll get paid for my overtime. It’s also basically a ticket mill and will be repetitive work but less stressful. I feel like I'm failing myself by giving up on a “good” job due to work stress, but I also gave myself a panic attack just thinking about all of this. I think it’s the right thing for me but can’t help but feel crumby about it.
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Apr 25, 2022 21:41
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I'm trying to get sober. I'm already signed up for Smart Recovery and am going to a meeting this week. Is there an SA thread anywhere for alcoholics?
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Apr 26, 2022 00:38
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being mentally ill sucks rear end
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Apr 26, 2022 03:02
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MaximilianK posted:I once paid my therapist $200 and she just sat and cried for an hour. Oh well there's a story behind this that i'd love to hear.
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Apr 26, 2022 04:55
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camoseven posted:I'm trying to get sober. I'm already signed up for Smart Recovery and am going to a meeting this week. Is there an SA thread anywhere for alcoholics? https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3375646
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Apr 26, 2022 05:18
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Oh drat I signed up for this dumb website for access to TCC and now I'm so old I didn't even think to check there. Thanks!
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Apr 26, 2022 12:38
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I had previously written in this thread about spasms I had been having that my GP thought were anxious. Well, turns out they weren't anxious, so I'm putting it under spoiler tags, but it's a brain tumour. I am not sure what else to say about it, since I don't yet have a whole bunch of information, but I just felt like offloading somewhere and don't know if there's a better thread to talk about this on the forums.
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Apr 27, 2022 17:32
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