(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
|
Jollity Farm posted:I had previously written in this thread about spasms I had been having that my GP thought were anxious. Well, turns out they weren't anxious, so I'm putting it under spoiler tags, but it's a brain tumour. I am not sure what else to say about it, since I don't yet have a whole bunch of information, but I just felt like offloading somewhere and don't know if there's a better thread to talk about this on the forums. I guess nobody knows what to say. All I can say is I'm very sorry to hear that. What else do you know?
|
#
?
Apr 28, 2022 13:36
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 24, 2024 05:46 |
|
|
That's something I've been thinking about. It's so hard to know what to say, especially over text. I was trying to be supportive to a friend in crisis a couple days ago, and I either said the wrong thing or she interpreted something differently than I intended. Either way, I don't expect I'll hear from her for quite a while  I'm so sorry Jollity Farm. It seems far too common for a real, physical illness to be misattributed to mental health struggles.
|
|
#
?
Apr 28, 2022 16:41
|
|
|
How do you even go about finding a therapist? The last one I talked to kept going on about God sorting out my issues past the time I told her I didn't believe and I don't want an experience like that again
|
|
#
?
Apr 28, 2022 18:36
|
|
|
Went to a concert for my favorite artist of all time. Drunk lady got told off by someone and then said talking is "allooowed" as a delayed ego salve, to him, and when he eventually left due to her bullying, she spent her victory lap getting drunker and eventually talking poo poo about people around her and probably me. I got a different seat, far too late. I was also paged by work during the concert, so I had to worry about that the whole time. So I'm pretty much not allowed a moment's peace or relaxation at any point. The reason why I bring the venting to the mental health thread is how sick I am of just getting run over by people all the time, no recourse. I didn't even bother telling security, I could tell they're just there to check tickets and reduce liability. If I said something, well, she's a white woman and feels entitled to do what she wants, and probably is. She'll just double down. I really wish I had joined the guy in the first place, but I didn't want to start a scene in front of the non-existent security and get kicked out. Violence is of course, off the table. It just makes me not want to be in public for pretty much any reason. I already have CPTSD, ADD, the typical alphabet soup of adverse childhood event experiencers. I always feel like being visible to people is an invitation for them to gently caress with you, and should they decide to do so, I'm not really allowed to stand up for myself because they have something over me or there's "rules". I'm trying to be mindful of the fact it was just her there doing that, and she was drunk and clearly took an ego hit and is doing the toddler thing of "You can't tell me what to do so I'm gonna do it mooore", but I've just been feeling enraged since it happened. This also just fuels my pessimism more. I rarely expect anything to go well anymore. If I try to relax or enjoy anything, someone or something is going to be on hand to stop me. The other shoe is always waiting to drop, I might as well just stay in my apartment because anything else is futile.
|
|
#
?
Apr 28, 2022 18:38
|
|
|
Ronwayne posted:
I freakin HATE that so much. I am out like, easily at least 4 grand right now because I had to take unpaid family leave (which was goddamn hard enough paperwork to fill out), and even though my works short term disability is retroactive, I cannot find the time/energy/mental clarity/doctors to fill the loving poo poo out. Doesn't help that I'm back to being extremely exhausted after work, to the point I literally be in major debt and no savings, than loving even try to figure out the short term disability paperwork and also find a doctor who actually gives a poo poo ever. Didn't mean to vent in your direction dear goon sir, but it is just majorly BS I can currently relate to right now. My brain is completely different now than in the beforetimes too. So that makes it extra frustrating.
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2022 01:39
|
|
|
skooma512 posted:concert stuff It's cool that you've already done the work of identifying why you're fixating on that specific moment (not wanting to be a doormat). I recommend actively trying to not give a poo poo. This sounds flippant and dismissive but it isn't. My life got way better when I stopped trying to analyze the behavior of everyone around me or determine what the right responses would be. You're internally building an annoying event into some kind of test of your character. Jollity Farm posted:brain drat that sucks!
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2022 01:13
|
|
|
Jorge Bell posted:It's cool that you've already done the work of identifying why you're fixating on that specific moment (not wanting to be a doormat). I recommend actively trying to not give a poo poo. This sounds flippant and dismissive but it isn't. My life got way better when I stopped trying to analyze the behavior of everyone around me or determine what the right responses would be. You're internally building an annoying event into some kind of test of your character. That's good advice, I have similar insecurities so it's nice to get a reminder that I don't need to hold onto them. I legit forget sometimes ha. I think I am a bit of like.. a pathological masochist, it's sorta what I was taught to be growing up. Feels like the only thing I understand is to always make myself accommodating to others, so it can be weirdly comforting to basically torture myself with this analysis that is ultimately just imaginary, no matter how real it might feel. Like in a "that is what I did for 3 decades and those thought patterns even saved me a few times here and there, helped me succeed, brought me friends etc, even tho they're unsustainable and make me miserable in the long term" kinda way. Anyway thanks for reminding me I can go "I don't need to give a poo poo" and remember how much better it feels to let go of those worries. No need to beat yourself up over your own feelings
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2022 03:04
|
|
|
hey everyone i found this thread on reddit really validating https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/uenp97/i_wish_people_would_be_able_to_know_that_trauma/ hope it helps someone else
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2022 04:31
|
|
|
I learned how to meditate from a DBT course I took in college (among other ways to practice emotion regulation, crisis intervention, interpersonal, etc., skills) and am just now getting back into it officially. It's such a blast to calm down so easily- though the initial hurdle of doing body-scan-type meditation was difficult. I like to imagine a little suit of cyberpunk ice armor is being scanned onto my body 
|
|
#
?
May 1, 2022 22:21
|
|
|
i've been thinking i oughta go back to therapy. i did it for a year or so when i failed out of school and had some serious problems with depression. now in a lot of ways im doing much better- i managed to finish school (with a lot of help from family), got an acceptable job, i'm functioning much better and don't have the constant low-level anxiety i did when i was in school. but i'm still dealing with a lot of reflexive self-doubt and do have some trouble actually committing to start things, and don't really know if there's anything else i can do right now to deal with it
|
|
#
?
May 2, 2022 19:02
|
|
|
I've been considering going to a therapist soon if things don't get better for me. For now, I've been getting by with CBT and self-helped resources that were provided by my old therapist. I started seeing him during my sophomore year of college and he helped out immensely. Interestingly enough, after I had graduated, he told me that I could still be able to have sessions with him since he had been planning on starting his own practice back in January, but it's May now and I still haven't been able to contact him. I imagine his plans ended up changing, but if I do decide to see a new therapist, I have no idea how to find a new one. I know services like Betterhelp exist but I've heard mixed reviews about them.
|
|
#
?
May 2, 2022 22:02
|
|
|
Witeldram posted:I've been considering going to a therapist soon [...] I have no idea how to find a new one. I know services like Betterhelp exist but I've heard mixed reviews about them. thehandtruck has a quoted post in the second post of the OP that will walk you through finding a good therapist.
|
|
#
?
May 2, 2022 23:25
|
|
|
Tungsten posted:i'm blocking SA in my hosts file until the next national catastrophe cool, cool. i have been attempting to find a therapist because i live in a rural shithole post-covid and my insurance is dropping telemedicine support my best bet is probably spending my remaining cash on rice and beans and studying the pali canon until i am killed in a pogrom my brain worked correctly for approximately 2 years but only under conditions that the republicans and democrats are united in making impossible. it seems very unlikely that I will survive the inevitable mass killings of the next decade or be able to build a life worth living in the evangelical hell-on-earth that will follow them. whole country's going to have cambodia vibes until it's supplanted by uninhabitable 130 degree deserts
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2022 05:06
|
|
|
edit: yo wrong thread sorry
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2022 06:58
|
|
|
does anyone have advice on how to handle the first few sessions and sorta feel out if a therapist is right for you? last time i was just kinda pushed at someone my parents recommended and thankfully it worked out, but now ive gotten down to a couple options and im not sure which one would be best (ofc the one that seems like the closest match is also charging twice as much.) is it normal to set up first appointments with multiple therapists to see which one you want?
|
|
#
?
May 4, 2022 14:54
|
|
|
I absolutely recommend shopping around. I found it helpful to talk to others about my experiences, too. I tended to hand over too much power to the professionals, deferring to them even when it wasn't healthy for me. Talking to my support group and this thread helped me figure poo poo out quickly. I think one poster mentioned flat out asking them what they thought of capitalism. A bad therapist is worse than no therapist. And certainly more expensive if insurance isn't fully covering it.
|
|
#
?
May 4, 2022 16:49
|
|
|
StashAugustine posted:does anyone have advice on how to handle the first few sessions and sorta feel out if a therapist is right for you? last time i was just kinda pushed at someone my parents recommended and thankfully it worked out, but now ive gotten down to a couple options and im not sure which one would be best (ofc the one that seems like the closest match is also charging twice as much.) is it normal to set up first appointments with multiple therapists to see which one you want? definitely shop around. treat your slightest misgivings as important. ask yourself if this person is exhibiting traits that you'd like to take on yourself. if your values aren't aligned, there will be growing dissonance until the relationship shakes itself apart or otherwise becomes useless
|
|
#
?
May 4, 2022 17:17
|
|
|
i confess that i ruled out one guy purely on the basis of "looks exactly like dr. jacoby from twin peaks." thanks for the advice, gonna reach out to a few people i guess. doesn't help that one of my secondary issues is constantly feeling isolated in part because no one is quite the same kind of crazy i am, and i go off on weird tangents at mild misunderstandings
|
|
#
?
May 4, 2022 19:03
|
|
|
StashAugustine posted:i confess that i ruled out one guy purely on the basis of "looks exactly like dr. jacoby from twin peaks." thanks for the advice, gonna reach out to a few people i guess. doesn't help that one of my secondary issues is constantly feeling isolated in part because no one is quite the same kind of crazy i am, and i go off on weird tangents at mild misunderstandings imo some of the best therapists are crazier than you, but their job is to make it about you and not them so if they've properly processed a lot of their poo poo you wont see it. definitely dont see more than one person at a time. if after the free phone consultation you feel like they're someone who gets you, try a few sessions and switch if it feels wrong one minor thing to keep in mind: sometimes its SUPER helpful to bring up any feeling of distance between a client and a therapist. a good therapist knows how to work with this and it can increase the trust and rapport between them both. in sessions with my clients i bring this up almost as soon as i sense it. this lets us repair, or lets me adjust how im working, and 9 times out of 10 enriches the therapy, making it more effective
|
|
#
?
May 4, 2022 19:35
|
|
|
Downside: expending the effort to clean up Upside: finding a lot of weed you've misplaced over months and thirty bucks. Everything's coming up hackman
|
|
#
?
May 4, 2022 19:57
|
|
|
money can be exchanged for weed and services
|
|
#
?
May 4, 2022 21:16
|
|
|
I sob most days now. I just sitting around my house weeping for large swathes of time regularly.
|
|
#
?
May 5, 2022 08:13
|
|
|
The Demilich posted:I sob most days now. I just sitting around my house weeping for large swathes of time regularly. I wish I could get a good cry going, just totally bawling. It's supposed to be good for you, and I have every reason to, it just doesn't happen. I think my emotions have been deadened. 
|
|
#
?
May 5, 2022 18:51
|
|
|
Last week we had the bombshell dropped on us that my dad has stage 2, possibly stage 3 kidney cancer. It was found during a routine checkup and the tumour has probably existed since around 2018. Thankfully, it hasn't spread, but unthankfully, his OTHER kidney is pretty much a dried out raisin due to a large kidney stone that's been blocking blood flow to it for god knows how long. While he is very fortunate that he's getting the surgery he needs next Thursday (super quickly, thank you Canadian healthcare!) the specialist says the odds of him being able to actually save part of the kidney due to the size of the mass are slim to none, which means he'll have to be on dialysis until they can find a donour. The specialist says he is fortunate that he has universally compatible blood, so it shouldn't be longer than two years, but still, it is a LOT to take in in the span of about a week and a half. At the same time, I am starting a new job as an instructor the same week he goes for surgery at a new university. I waffled about whether or not to tell them my dad had cancer for some time; I didn't want to be the guy throwing a wrench in the works right while I'm starting a new job. I decided to swallow my pride and let my department head know, and he was kind enough to offer to let me go fully online next week so my dad doesn't have to risk exposure from me and my COVID-prone students. I rent from my parents so we are in pretty close contact a lot. If my dad gets COVID somehow this week, it means pushing back his surgery another 6-8 weeks. My department head encouraged me to lean on family and friends when it kind of dawned on me: I don't know when exactly it happened, but I don't think I have friends anymore. Pre-pandemic, I used to have a pretty solid mainstay of friends I would see every weekend for games night, but of course that went full stop when the pandemic hit. One of them I talk to on Discord semi-occasionally, the other not at all, and the other one actually took a bizarre fash-y tilt, and started posting things in support of the Canadian trucker convoy back when that was a thing, so we definitely don't talk anymore. I had a few other close friends, but they seem to have just dropped off the face of the Earth. I don't think it's anything personal; I just think some of these friendships were kept alive by in-person visits and the long term lethargy of the endless pandemic have just starved them to death. Others have children now and are obviously pre-occupied with more immediate concerns. I am in some group Discords of like, more larger circle friends, but it just isn't the same at all. Something about waking up today, and all that's going on now fully made me realize how little I speak to anyone anymore outside of my parents and my partner, and she is kind of upset that she won't be able to see me for a week and a half until after my dad has gone in for his surgery. I keep telling her I don't think it's that big a deal, a lot of couples go some time between seeing each other, but she really gets upset about it. Meanwhile, my younger brother up and moved to Japan in December and my long-term therapist just moved out of province because she can no longer afford to live in BC anymore, so, lol, lmao. I don't really know what I hope to gain by posting this here. I just wonder how many other people are experiencing the deaths of long term friendships as a result of this god awful pandemic.
|
|
#
?
May 5, 2022 21:48
|
|
|
Doctor posted:my long-term therapist just moved out of province because she can no longer afford to live in BC anymore, so, lol, lmao.
|
|
#
?
May 6, 2022 00:30
|
|
|
I don't know if this is the place to ask/ramble but I'm pretty sure my sister has Borderline Personality Disorder and would never admit it. She has had different issues throughout her life that more or less forced my parents to spend endless time with and money for her from her teen years to early adulthood. She is the type of person who can never admit that she is wrong or that she doesn't know about something. She gets visibly uncomfortable when she is not familiar with the subject matter of a conversation and she always needs holidays and special occasions to be wonderful. She even got angry when my mom didn't go to a restaurant indoors during MY MOM'S own birthday when COVID began, but now insists that she always knew that COVID would be really bad and that she "warned people" but that they wouldn't listen. She has been in and out of hospitals and both on and off of opiates for her medical conditions. For almost a decade she was treated for paranoid schizophrenia and attempted suicide as a teen, but because of (imo) bad advice from her therapist, she stopped taking medication for it in 2020. That year she ended up breaking up with her husband and blamed Trump and COVID for the fact that everything escalated for her after she got off her meds. Prior to the schizophrenia she believed she had OCD and anorexia. Now after the schizophrenia, she has self-diagnosed herself as having Ehlers-Danlos, long COVID, seizures, terets (she came up with that one because she didn't want to apologize for yelling at me and my parents), and more. But she would never admit to having Borderline Personality Disorder because I think she has a white hot ego and it conflicts with her saintly sense of who she is. My dumb, non-medical opinion is that there was truth to the paranoia/schizophrenia and that she has Borderline Personality as well, and that this host of issues that she sometimes does and sometimes doesn't have is part of her BPD and fear of abandonment, and her inability to take responsibility for her own actions. I don't want to sound like a bootstraps Republican when I say that but she is the kind of person who asks for people to help her, and then yells at them when they help her the "wrong" way. She pushes everyone away and her whole narrative is that it's everyone else's fault. Anyway... I used to be the autistic problem child of the family while she was the grade A student who wrote poetry. But she always had narcissistic qualities, a persecution complex, and a stubbornness about her. And then over the past 10-15 years it's amplified to 100. Now she doesn't talk to my parents anymore and relies on me for emotional support, but I don't want to give it to her. I don't know what solution there is if any but I felt like I needed to get this off my chest.
|
|
#
?
May 6, 2022 00:43
|
|
|
Doctor posted:I don't really know what I hope to gain by posting this here. I just wonder how many other people are experiencing the deaths of long term friendships as a result of this god awful pandemic. I'm doing better than ever. But then I spent most of a decade housebound and had to do some serious cleaning of my social circles after 2016. Learned to spot a fair-weather friend real good. And had time to process getting depressed over all the racist pieces of poo poo who decided they didn't need to hide it anymore. Many, many people are experiencing the same thing. On the upside, they're also up for some good conversation right about now, and will be a lot better at filtering people out before problems crop up. If you figure out how to find 'em, let us know, I feel like a lot of folk here could use that knowledge.
|
|
#
?
May 6, 2022 06:48
|
|
|
Is there still a discord channel for this thread?
|
|
#
?
May 6, 2022 16:08
|
|
|
Ocean of Milk posted:I can literally choose not do my job like, at all and nobody cares. There hasn't been any progress on this ticket in this four week sprint because I can't get myself to lift a finger in home-office and instead read forums and poo poo all day and apparently there aren't any fucks given by any of the people in the hierarchy who are supposed to care about poo poo like "is this dude we're paying 100k/yr actually doing anything of value?". And me I'm the biggest loving moron of them all cause I actually feel like poo poo and get depressed when a week goes by and not a line of code has changed even though none of this poo poo matters. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYvhC_RdIwQ You literally described my current situation down to the salary. But I just inherited a huge codebase so I have an incredible excuse where I can just say I am documenting code and nobody questions it. Just started working with a doc to get a better diagnosis on what's going on with my brain, but it's slow going and I should also start therapy, but really can't imagine what good it would do. I feel like I "know" the answers that would come out of that, but they just aren't actionable. But also relatedly the only therapist I have ever actually been to was a Christian evangelical therapist my parents took me to as a kid so maybe I just have issues trusting professionals.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2022 21:22
|
|
|
Segata Sanshiro posted:I wish I could get a good cry going, just totally bawling. It's supposed to be good for you, and I have every reason to, it just doesn't happen. I think my emotions have been deadened. I said this exact thing to my wife who was going through a hard time not long ago and she said it is not actually very reliving just uncontrollable and she would rather she didn't at all and I should watch my mouth, to which I had a hard think.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2022 21:26
|
|
|
The Demilich posted:I sob most days now. I just sitting around my house weeping for large swathes of time regularly. 
|
|
#
?
May 8, 2022 12:59
|
|
|
skooma512 posted:Went to a concert for my favorite artist of all time. Drunk lady got told off by someone and then said talking is "allooowed" as a delayed ego salve, to him, and when he eventually left due to her bullying, she spent her victory lap getting drunker and eventually talking poo poo about people around her and probably me. I got a different seat, far too late. I was also paged by work during the concert, so I had to worry about that the whole time. So I'm pretty much not allowed a moment's peace or relaxation at any point. I feel a lot of this, especially the bolded part, and I know a lot of other people who also feel this way. I wish I had something helpful to say about it, but all I can say is that it loving sucks. I set my expectations as low as I possibly can but still everything is a loving hassle, nothing works right, and everyone is an rear end in a top hat. It's forced me to rearrange my life in order to avoid people, and I honestly don't want that. I want to be around people and to go out and do things and have a normal life but everyone is so broken that just doesn't seem possible anymore.
|
|
#
?
May 8, 2022 13:05
|
|
|
I've never enjoyed my life and I've absolutely wasted it. Now it seems like nothing good is ever going to happen again and everything is just going to get worse. I don't have kids at least, just my parents (who I love), my sister (that I'm not very close too), and an old cat (actually had to put down her brother a few weeks ago). I've been drinking a lot the past two years after quitting for a bit when covid hit, since weed is illegal in NH and I never bothered to get a new connection after college. It just puts me into a dull complacency and makes me fat instead of helping. I guess I could exercise but what is the point? My promise that I made to myself was that I'd never seriously consider eating a bullet while my parents were still alive. Not sure why I posted this. Just venting I guess. Thanks Paul Revere 3000 has issued a correction as of 17:24 on May 8, 2022 |
|
#
?
May 8, 2022 17:15
|
|
|
Add me to the "wasted my life" list. Only people who care I'm alive are my parents who only give me useless unsolicited advice that one would give a child. I don't understand why I meet so many lovely people on Discord who think I'm such an interesting person and yet IRL no one cares. Still, I think I'm getting to the point where I am a shut in almost by choice. COVID makes me too afraid of anywhere with too many people which I hated anyway. There are no activities I feel are enhanced by the presence of another person. Going somewhere just to "meet people" always feels forced and never works. I am slowly starting to exercise more though. Hope it helps. As undisciplined as I am, I think focusing on self improvement and tuning out the noise of the world is the best approach. As cliché as it sounds, anyone else going through the same try to focus on something you can be proud of, no matter how small it is, and try to keep going. AceOfFlames has issued a correction as of 01:41 on May 9, 2022 |
|
#
?
May 9, 2022 01:25
|
|
|
AceOfFlames posted:I am slowly starting to exercise more though. Hope it helps. As undisciplined as I am, I think focusing on self improvement and tuning out the noise of the world is the best approach. As cliché as it sounds, anyone else going through the same try to focus on something you can be proud of, no matter how small it is, and try to keep going.
|
|
#
?
May 9, 2022 02:34
|
|
|
Feels good to have control of my life and brain back. Just sayin'.
|
|
#
?
May 9, 2022 06:15
|
|
|
Waffle House posted:Feels good to have control of my life and brain back. Just sayin'. Hey this is awesome to read.
|
|
#
?
May 9, 2022 23:14
|
|
|
Trip report: venlafaxine withdrawal because you kept forgetting to take it. 0/10 would not recommend. I also now have enough knowledge of anti-nausea meds to open up a pharmacy.
|
|
#
?
May 10, 2022 05:57
|
|
|
Josherino posted:Hey this is awesome to read. Conscious awareness of your rote and habits was the key for me. Believe it or not "I just want to be back to better," works just fine as a fundamental building block to...well, whatever you want to do with your brain, and then beyond that it's just a matter of getting micro as gently caress with your cognitive and biophysical habits. Your self is really the horse and rider, but your subconscience/brain/whatever you want to call it will make its own "Cow Tools" as it goes along (REST IN POWER, GARY LARSON!!!) Some other tips and observations, dare you feel like reading a brick of text: * Your consciousness/soul/whatever exists in its own, hermetically sealed, non-euclidian space, so anything going on in your head is not only legal and judgement-free. Feel free to cheat your own brain. (You already knew that, deep down, but it genuinely pays to write it down, read it, and especially discuss it in peer company.) * Your brain correlates each moment, short or long, with imagery, internal synapse, body feedback and memories alike. A lot of things feed into each individual memory and habit, and their recollection is a powerful tool for helping you navigate. Sometimes they don't make sense at first...and sometimes never at all...but later you might remember or realize why that bad memory was associated with, for example, a background noise, or a particular flinch of a muscle group. Absolute full recollection of your entire life is not actually important to cognitive navigation, though. Just whatever works. * Whatever it is, don't overthink it. This is surprisingly easy to do, both overthinking and overcoming overthinking, because all you have to be aware of is, "wow, by mental mouthfeel alone, that thought was way too much structure for whatever I'm trying to accomplish mentally here, that wasn't quite right, woops lmao" ....and your brain will just garbage collect it like any other natural thought-terminating cliche or process. Even thinking about it later has the limitations you'd expect it to; the memory isn't fresh, and you've "done work" on it, so it's nothing to fear. * Per above: Be choosy with how you approach and word things with yourself. The right word can go a long way, but the wrong word can be a distraction to your path if you have a lifetime of built-up bad associations and connotations with it. This is useful for confronting fears and insecurities; again, though, you're in non-euclidian space, and all things are malleable, especially if they're deep in rote. Your brain actually does get bored, stressed, and unhappy with autistic levels of repetition, and you will find your way out of it. This is why depression is such a bitch; you swear you're stuck, but you know better, truly, and even if life is terrible just take a moment to work towards the sunshine again. It might not happen instantly, but it's how we work. * If you recognize thought-terminating processes/cliches within yourself, remember how they feel and operate within your cognitive space so you can weaponize those against intrusive or other un-needed cognition as method or sample, even if they feel silly to use as such. If it works, it works! * If you have a Tourette's level of obsessive-compulsive tics, it is in fact legal to try to "herd" the cognitive misfires into a "master tic" for later disposal, dispersal, and retreading into different associations. Seriously, you can still maintain full cynicism and function while silly-putting around like this, it owns. *There isn't actually all that much to consciousness or existence itself, so thoughts of "this is too much" or "this is going to be hard" or "this is inscrutible/impossible!" are illusions of consciousness. And most importantly... * Believe in yourself. Sounds hokey, but, it's YOUR life, maaaaan. Do what you want with your own brain; after all, an fully, sloppily open mind is like a fortress with its gates unbarred and unguarded. My favorite brain cheat was to consider myself "already healed"; it didn't actually turn out to be a cheat because every day is indeed better than the last, but for tricking yourself it is a fine starting point. Eventually you will just realize that you are so far beyond wherever you were that you are now flensing issues that you had as deep back as childhood, and you will laugh at how fast you recovered. Conversely, as you can imagine, if you constantly are trapped in "I'm sick," then you tend instead to backslide into depression and, "oh this is never going to to be better." The brain is a weird thing, especially when the endorphins start spilling; those come out at counterintuitive times, so you have to just be aware of them. I also do not recommend taking the emotions and feelings of CSPAM seriously. This place is a depression blender if you spend too much time fixated on the presented experience of it. Waffle House has issued a correction as of 07:00 on May 10, 2022 |
|
#
?
May 10, 2022 06:57
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 24, 2024 05:46 |
|
|
How dare you imply that im not an irrevocably broken boy
|
|
#
?
May 10, 2022 09:06
|
|