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fast cars loose anus
Mar 2, 2007

Pillbug
The Athletic goes in

quote:

“I can assure you,” FIFA president Gianni Infantino says, “that the only authentic, real game that has the FIFA name will be the best one available for gamers and football fans. The FIFA name is the only global, original title. FIFA 23, FIFA 24, FIFA 25 and FIFA 26 and so on — the constant is the FIFA name and it will remain forever and remain THE BEST.”

Rarely have so few words offered so very much to unpack. Let’s start with the “non-simulation games”. And please note it’s “games”, plural. FIFA said it was “launching a portfolio of new games during 2022 and 2023”.

The phrase “non-simulation” suggests these won’t be either ‘Be the footballer’ games, nor will they take the form of ‘Be the football manager’ games. But what else can you do under the FIFA banner?

Are we talking about a hideously ill-judged Minecraft-style building game, where you have to construct as many stadiums in the desert as you can, while as few migrant workers die as possible? Perhaps it’s more of a management game, where the objective is to ruin a perfectly-fine tournament by introducing the four-groups-of-three second phase that was a disaster at the 1982 finals in Spain. We wait with bated breath.

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Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

fast cars loose anus posted:

The Athletic goes in
If FIFA launched a virtual stadium builder where you just Lego'd whatever ridiculous ideas for a world-class football venue that you wanted I'd actually have to consider giving them my money.

greazeball
Feb 4, 2003



It'll be a VR "Go to McDonald's and buy a Coke with some player you might remember"

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

greazeball posted:

It'll be a VR "Go to McDonald's and buy a Coke with some player you might remember"
The player: Michael Owen

fast cars loose anus
Mar 2, 2007

Pillbug

Crazy Ted posted:

If FIFA launched a virtual stadium builder where you just Lego'd whatever ridiculous ideas for a world-class football venue that you wanted I'd actually have to consider giving them my money.

Kerbal Space Program but you're building the flying Qatari stadium clouds

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

I honestly wouldn't put it past FIFA to put out a "Candy Crush" style line up 3 of the same colour thingos in a row type mobile game where the candies are FIFA approved brand logos/footballs etc.

That's what "non-simulation" FIFA game sounds like it will be to me.

silvergoose
Mar 18, 2006

IT IS SAID THE TEARS OF THE BWEENIX CAN HEAL ALL WOUNDS




oh no, it's going to be one of those multiplayer defeat neighbors by spending money things

JesustheDarkLord
May 22, 2006

#VolsDeep
Lipstick Apathy

silvergoose posted:

oh no, it's going to be one of those multiplayer defeat neighbors by spending money things

Extremely on brand for fifa

pik_d
Feb 24, 2006

follow the white dove





TRP Post of the Month October 2021

fast cars loose anus posted:

Kerbal Space Program but you're building the flying Qatari stadium clouds

Hell, can those be made in KSP?

Pook Good Mook
Aug 6, 2013


ENFORCE THE UNITED STATES DRESS CODE AT ALL COSTS!

This message paid for by the Men's Wearhouse& Jos A Bank Lobbying Group

silvergoose posted:

oh no, it's going to be one of those multiplayer defeat neighbors by spending money things

That's in the EA games already

webmeister
Jan 31, 2007

The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.
Pokemon Goal

sticksy
May 26, 2004
Nap Ghost

Crazy Ted posted:

The player: Michael Owen

Your post reminded me of this

https://youtu.be/CFnymJDZAS8

advanced statsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC
What if Konami (lol) gets the license and it becomes eFifa PES or some such?

freeedr
Feb 21, 2005

It will have an energy system where you regenerate one stamina every ten minutes. It takes five stamina to play a Quickmatch ™. You can refill your stamina instantly with Under-The-Table bucks, available in the UTT Store ™. Collect footballs to unlock better players, or buy the United PASS(ions) to boost your gains

leftist heap
Feb 28, 2013

Fun Shoe
What is even in a FIFA branded game without any other licenses? Would it even have player likenesses? Just a vehicle for Coke ads?

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011
Panini sticker mobile game where the trade interface mysteriously doesn't work but you can spend $0.99 to get the last sticker you need to complete Ecuador

Nostradingus
Jul 13, 2009

Chuck Blazer's Cat Apartment Simulator

Cart
Sep 28, 2004

They see me rollin...

It’s Hades, but with Sepp Blatter as the final boss and not nearly as good.

brocked
Oct 25, 2005

All shall love me and despair!
Woodwardworld

nawilo_420
Nov 24, 2021
:redflag:
Don't really know where to put this but: The Dutch FA have announced that from the 23/24 season, the Dutch 2nd division (i.e. the dutch championship) can be used to trial new rules such as "kickins" instead of throwins, allowed to dribble from a free kick, 5 minute sending off, unlimited substitutions and pure playing time.

In the same press release they also noted that UEFA and FIFA will never change anything so there's still a lot of lobbying to be done lmao

anyway i like all those rules 🤷

guess you can't really do pure playing time and unlimited subs at the same time

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

5 minute sending off is something that could definitely improve the game. Or make it a total poo poo show as teams stall the 5 away who knows.

I still think there needs to be another card less severe than a yellow for dumb poo poo like swarming and screaming at the ref

the escape goat
Apr 16, 2008

if I was a ref and players swarmed me I’d be throwin’ cards like fuckin’ Yu-Gi-Oh or whatever that cartoon is

players get away with that WAY TOO MUCH

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

the escape goat posted:

if I was a ref and players swarmed me I’d be throwin’ cards like fuckin’ Yu-Gi-Oh or whatever that cartoon is

players get away with that WAY TOO MUCH

I will agree with this entirely.

My dad was a cricket umpire, (different sport so different thing obviously), and the abuse he copped was amazing.

Seeing top level athletes get away with swarming and yelling at the ref for making a decision against them pisses me off.

Also, it's simple as piss to eradicate. Make a big hooha at the start of the season that you won't be tolerating any ref abuse, and that screaming/swearing at the ref is an automatic yellow. Then the first time it happens go nuts and car all the childish tantruming fuckers.

There will be a lot of whinging in the press from ex players saying "the games gone soft. it wasnt like this in my day" etc. but you'd best believe that the players will learn very quickly to stop charging at the ref en masse. And the ones who keep doing it will be your Joey Barton style irredeemable cunts who deserve reds anyway.

Strawman
Feb 9, 2008

Tortuga means turtle, and that's me. I take my time but I always win.


As non-cunts who are always right 100% of the time, refs deserve to be shielded from even the slightest criticism, imo

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

BrigadierSensible posted:

There will be a lot of whinging in the press from ex players saying "the games gone soft. it wasnt like this in my day" etc. but you'd best believe that the players will learn very quickly to stop charging at the ref en masse. And the ones who keep doing it will be your Joey Barton style irredeemable cunts who deserve reds anyway.

A lot of the game's gone soft types hate the swarming the ref stuff

nawilo_420
Nov 24, 2021
:redflag:

Strawman posted:

As non-cunts who are always right 100% of the time, refs deserve to be shielded from even the slightest criticism, imo

name + post combo out of this world

fast cars loose anus
Mar 2, 2007

Pillbug

nawilo_420 posted:

Don't really know where to put this but: The Dutch FA have announced that from the 23/24 season, the Dutch 2nd division (i.e. the dutch championship) can be used to trial new rules such as "kickins" instead of throwins, allowed to dribble from a free kick, 5 minute sending off, unlimited substitutions and pure playing time.

In the same press release they also noted that UEFA and FIFA will never change anything so there's still a lot of lobbying to be done lmao

anyway i like all those rules 🤷

guess you can't really do pure playing time and unlimited subs at the same time

What is pure playing time?

Pook Good Mook
Aug 6, 2013


ENFORCE THE UNITED STATES DRESS CODE AT ALL COSTS!

This message paid for by the Men's Wearhouse& Jos A Bank Lobbying Group

ilmucche posted:

A lot of the game's gone soft types hate the swarming the ref stuff

The purpose of the captain's position was basically exclusively so they were the only ones who were meant to approach the field ref. Part of the 4th official's job is to talk with coaches on the bench. Harassing the ref by a normal player is already supposed to be a yellow.

nawilo_420
Nov 24, 2021
:redflag:

fast cars loose anus posted:

What is pure playing time?

Stopping the clock any time the ball is not in play, i.e anytime the ref blows his whistle. You'd have to decide how long a half should be though, most experts say 30-35 minutes would work. So you'd have 30 minutes pure playing time.

Honestly I really don't understand how this has not been implemented yet, because it would instantly take care of time wasting and make the game so much better. It happens in many other sports now too.

Literally Lewis Hamilton
Feb 22, 2005



nawilo_420 posted:

Stopping the clock any time the ball is not in play, i.e anytime the ref blows his whistle. You'd have to decide how long a half should be though, most experts say 30-35 minutes would work. So you'd have 30 minutes pure playing time.

Honestly I really don't understand how this has not been implemented yet, because it would instantly take care of time wasting and make the game so much better. It happens in many other sports now too.

Anytime they stop the clock is just an opportunity to break away for commercials, it is absolutely the next step for money hungry organizations

Bogan Krkic
Oct 31, 2010

Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.

Literally Lewis Hamilton posted:

Anytime they stop the clock is just an opportunity to break away for commercials, it is absolutely the next step for money hungry organizations

Absolutely this. There's already fuckin scheduled breaks in play for commercials in the A-League, stopping the clock is a guarantee that there'll be ads shoved in there

nawilo_420
Nov 24, 2021
:redflag:
That makes no sense, because if they wanted to shove in ads during the game it would literally work better now, since the downtime would drastically decrease with pure playing time. The whole point of it is to have a much faster game.

mactheknife
Jul 20, 2004

THE JOLLY CANDY-LIKE BUTTON

Pook Good Mook posted:

Harassing the ref by a normal player is already supposed to be a yellow.

It's 100% one of those rules that just never get enforced for whatever reason, like the GK six-second rule, and it's very annoying.

Pook Good Mook
Aug 6, 2013


ENFORCE THE UNITED STATES DRESS CODE AT ALL COSTS!

This message paid for by the Men's Wearhouse& Jos A Bank Lobbying Group

mactheknife posted:

It's 100% one of those rules that just never get enforced for whatever reason, like the GK six-second rule, and it's very annoying.

I will die a happy man when I see a ref use VAR to see if a penalty kick should be awarded and then after video shows the attacker diving like a dead duck coming out and giving the yellow for diving rather than awarding the kick.

the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009
https://twitter.com/guardian/status/1534532012354195458?s=20&t=vMCB5wxQEK2Aav0M7yoZcg

Literally Lewis Hamilton
Feb 22, 2005



nawilo_420 posted:

That makes no sense, because if they wanted to shove in ads during the game it would literally work better now, since the downtime would drastically decrease with pure playing time. The whole point of it is to have a much faster game.

Lol no, because the clock is running now and the breaks in play are often pretty short, but frequent. As soon as you stop it then there’s nothing stopping broadcasters/FIFA/UEFA from ensuring it’s a specifically mandated amount of time to fit in adverts

nawilo_420
Nov 24, 2021
:redflag:

Literally Lewis Hamilton posted:

Lol no, because the clock is running now and the breaks in play are often pretty short, but frequent.

Nothing would change about this op, except that the breaks in play would become SHORTER since time wasting will come totally useless, i.e. no more fake injuries, keepers keeping the ball as long as possible, etc. The game would become much faster.

quote:

As soon as you stop it then there’s nothing stopping broadcasters/FIFA/UEFA from ensuring it’s a specifically mandated amount of time to fit in adverts

FIFA could do this now as well? 🤷 This is not the argument at all though, and has nothing to do with the idea of pure playing time as such.

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011
can't wait for my VAR Break Brought To YOu By Sprite to show me a 30-second Budweiser ad because the clock is fully stopped while Mr. Pixels draws the lines to see if Cristiano Ronaldo's dick and balls were offside and then the commercial takes too long so I don't even see what the ref's decision was but i do know that the decision was brought tome by American Express

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

I think the bbc posted how much average gametime there was for each team but I can't find it again

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vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

ilmucche posted:

I think the bbc posted how much average gametime there was for each team but I can't find it again

I remember them doing this years ago and saying the lowest amount of real gametime they could find was that one Stoke-Villa match, you know the one

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