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Do you like Alien 3 "Assembly Cut"?
Yes, Alien 3 "Assembly Cut" was tits.
No, Alien and Aliens are the only valid Alien films.
Nah gently caress you Alien 3 sucks in all its forms.
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Xenomrph
Dec 9, 2005

AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill



16-bit Butt-Head posted:

this game was cool but should have been on PCs with online multiplayer so you could use the sick end game units more

The game wasn’t really balanced well which is why it didn’t even have a generic “player vs AI” skirmish mode, let alone a PvP mode. Each faction’s campaign is heavily weighted in the player’s favor.

PredAliens were flat out broken, they had an ability where they could constantly “evolve” and gain more HP and attack strength, if you kept them alive long enough they could become more powerful than Queens.

I wish it had been on PC but for a freaking console FPS game it controlled surprisingly intuitively.

Xenomrph fucked around with this message at 18:44 on May 12, 2022

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SuperMechagodzilla
Jun 9, 2007

NEWT REBORN

MLSM posted:

I always thought the Queen was hanging out somewhere in the derelict when Kane got facehugged in Alien 1. After a bunch of colonists got facehugged in Alien II, she and the new drones set up shop beneath the atmosphere processor where the meat is. Then it was open season for the facehuggers.

Aliens is vague enough that that's a distinct possibility - but that interpretation would mean the queen is well over 100 years old.

It's also too reliant on information from Alien. While Cameron may have intended for the queen to have emerged from the 'space jockey', that character doesn't appear in either version of Aliens at all. Because of this, a person watching Aliens as a standalone film could more reasonably conclude that the queen alien is actually the UFO's pilot. (The UFO doesn't even appear onscreen in the theatrical cut).

This is all going back to the point that Cameron wasn't terribly concerned about the mechanics of, like, anything.

Neo Rasa
Mar 8, 2007
Everyone should play DUKE games.

:dukedog:

MLSM posted:

I always thought the Queen was hanging out somewhere in the derelict when Kane got facehugged in Alien 1. After a bunch of colonists got facehugged in Alien II, she and the new drones set up shop beneath the atmosphere processor where the meat is. Then it was open season for the facehuggers.

IIRC very early on they considered having the queen be a more mature version of the specific alien that gets spaced at the end of the original film but I'm glad they didn't go that route.

Alchenar
Apr 9, 2008

I mean if we assume Burke sends his message shortly after Ripley is debriefed (lets assume he waits for the official lets-do-nothing so that nobody else notices his message) and noting that the last colonist has probably been impregnated a few hours just before the marines arrive, that suggests the colony falls over the span of about two weeks.

Mister Speaker
May 8, 2007

WE WILL CONTROL
ALL THAT YOU SEE
AND HEAR
I would probably also leave a donut half-eaten and forget to feed the gerbils if I was running away from the giant insectoid rape monsters.

Xenomrph
Dec 9, 2005

AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill



Alchenar posted:

I mean if we assume Burke sends his message shortly after Ripley is debriefed (lets assume he waits for the official lets-do-nothing so that nobody else notices his message) and noting that the last colonist has probably been impregnated a few hours just before the marines arrive, that suggests the colony falls over the span of about two weeks.

Here’s a pretty solid timeline of movie events:

https://alientimeline.wordpress.com/2127-2179/

The author is a bit of a tool but his website has cool info, he’s consulted on official stuff until fairly recently when he got canned for, well, being a tool. He knows his poo poo though.

MrMojok
Jan 28, 2011

SuperMechagodzilla posted:

The two cuts of the film present two different scenarios:

In the theatrical, it's implied that a whole team of colonists went to explore the space-ship, and a bunch of them got face-crabbed at the same time. "There's no telling how many of them [had been] exposed", but there are six crabs in those preservation tanks - two live and four dead. (In the context of Alien 1, those four dead crabs imply four baby aliens.) So, around one day after finding the ship, you've got a young queen and at least three helpers running around, gathering up supplies to build a nest. This actually provides a decent explanation for how the aliens were able to destroy the colony so quickly: communication immediately lost, half-eaten donuts lying around, etc.

The Special Edition actually messes this up because, as you note, the timeline doesn't make any sense. Newt's dad is the only one crabbed. The film cuts away, but Newt's mom presumably drives him back to the colony for treatment. So, 24 hours later, you've got a single young queen running around the colony, gathering up food and bodies so that she can eventually hunker down to produce her first egg. This means multiple days pass between initial exposure and the creation of a second adult alien. The queen spends a good chunk of that time completely immobile, yet the colonists just kinda faff around. Nobody fixes the radio. And at what point did they collect the five additional crabs?

Heh... I never even thought about how the SE screws that up. Those facebuggers in the lab make no sense if it was only Newt's dad that was the initial victim.

MrMojok fucked around with this message at 23:58 on May 12, 2022

MrMojok
Jan 28, 2011

Xenomrph posted:

Here’s a pretty solid timeline of movie events:

https://alientimeline.wordpress.com/2127-2179/

The author is a bit of a tool but his website has cool info, he’s consulted on official stuff until fairly recently when he got canned for, well, being a tool. He knows his poo poo though.

LOL, while reading this site I found this:

quote:

2112 (January 9)

Brett suffers minor brain damage during a cerebral detox procedure at a Weyland Yutani medical facility on Titan.

Neo Rasa
Mar 8, 2007
Everyone should play DUKE games.

:dukedog:

MrMojok posted:

LOL, while reading this site I found this:

IIRC the whole Nostromo crew are losers on some level in their profiles hehee

Mister Speaker
May 8, 2007

WE WILL CONTROL
ALL THAT YOU SEE
AND HEAR
Lmao and Gorman is Canadian.

That's a cool site, very in the mood for a deep dive into the timeline later, thanks.

I love how the first little bit makes Weyland out to be the rarenonexistent altruistic billionaire. He makes his fortune harvesting solar energy in space, stops global warming and cures all cancer.

Can we trade timelines?

Xenomrph
Dec 9, 2005

AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill



MrMojok posted:

LOL, while reading this site I found this:

That’s likely from one of the crew profiles (either the one scrolling behind Ripley at her interrogation, or the one that was an Easter egg on the Alien Legacy DVD).

MrMojok
Jan 28, 2011

Xenomrph posted:

That’s likely from one of the crew profiles (either the one scrolling behind Ripley at her interrogation, or the one that was an Easter egg on the Alien Legacy DVD).

yep, all of those notes say at the bottom "from the Alien dvd"

MadDogMike
Apr 9, 2008

Cute but fanged

MrMojok posted:

Heh... I never even thought about how the SE screws that up. Those facebuggers in the lab make no sense if it was only Newt's dad that was the initial victim.

I think the original script had the colonists come out to deal with Newt’s dad and a swarm of facehuggers managed to hatch and grab a bunch of them right then when they looked in the ship themselves. For actual “canon”, there was an investigation group in River of Pain that met a similar fate I believe. So there were several xenomorphs from the start pretty much before anybody knew what was happening. Add in how Nostromo and Fury 161 showed how quickly things went to crap with just one of them and I can buy the situation going to hell too fast to call it in before whatever screwed up the ability to transmit from Operations (which obviously happened since Bishop had to crawl to the antenna). Not sure if that was acid damage, a result of deferred maintenance due to horrifying technician death, or “they cut the power” was a real thing and the xeno queen actually figured out how to cut the comm linkage. Though the latter seems very unlikely since it requires even more of a spectacular leap of intelligence than cutting power, and possibly counterproductive to the alien goal of spreading anyway (I’m suddenly visualizing the alien queen leaning into a radio and her little mouth saying “Send more cops!” :D).

SuperMechagodzilla
Jun 9, 2007

NEWT REBORN

Alchenar posted:

I mean if we assume Burke sends his message shortly after Ripley is debriefed (lets assume he waits for the official lets-do-nothing so that nobody else notices his message) and noting that the last colonist has probably been impregnated a few hours just before the marines arrive, that suggests the colony falls over the span of about two weeks.

Substantially longer than that.

First, Burke sends the message, and it takes one week to arrive (in the Special Edition). Several different mining companies then survey the general area, though we don’t really know how long that takes.

With that established, Newt-dad eventually finds the UFO and gets crabbed. The young Queen emerges one day later, and then goes around nabbing people and resources to make her first egg. As established earlier, this takes at least several days. So, let’s say three days pass.

Once the first egg is laid, many more days pass before the first ‘xenomorph’ can emerge and grow to maturity. (How long does it take a crab to develop inside an egg?) We don’t really know for sure, but three days to a mature ‘xenomorph’ is a pretty conservative estimate.

So, if you’re keeping track, around one week has already passed. And, at some point during that week, the radio controls are broken. It’ll take Earth seven days to notice the lack of response, and probably a little longer to get worried about it. So, let’s say two weeks pass between the first crabbing and the Earth people getting worried enough to contact the marines. (Another conservative estimate.)

Ripley spends about a day considering Burke’s offer, while the marines prepare for the mission. Then, once she accepts, they freeze themselves for a three-week journey. (“You had three weeks on your back, Frost.”)

So, in total, the Special Edition says it takes the aliens well over 45 days to finally kill the last colonist.

“Just one of those things managed to wipe out my entire crew in less than 24 hours.”

SuperMechagodzilla fucked around with this message at 05:40 on May 13, 2022

Mr. Grapes!
Feb 12, 2007
Mr. who?

SuperMechagodzilla posted:

The two cuts of the film present two different scenarios:

In the theatrical, it's implied that a whole team of colonists went to explore the space-ship, and a bunch of them got face-crabbed at the same time. "There's no telling how many of them [had been] exposed", but there are six crabs in those preservation tanks - two live and four dead. (In the context of Alien 1, those four dead crabs imply four baby aliens.) So, around one day after finding the ship, you've got a young queen and at least three helpers running around, gathering up supplies to build a nest. This actually provides a decent explanation for how the aliens were able to destroy the colony so quickly: communication immediately lost, half-eaten donuts lying around, etc.

The Special Edition actually messes this up because, as you note, the timeline doesn't make any sense. Newt's dad is the only one crabbed. The film cuts away, but Newt's mom presumably drives him back to the colony for treatment. So, 24 hours later, you've got a single young queen running around the colony, gathering up food and bodies so that she can eventually hunker down to produce her first egg. This means multiple days pass between initial exposure and the creation of a second adult alien. The queen spends a good chunk of that time completely immobile, yet the colonists just kinda faff around. Nobody fixes the radio. And at what point did they collect the five additional crabs?

I figured that after Newt's Dad got crabbed they sent in more colonists into the alien spaceship just to see what's up and those guys got crabbed too, and dragged back to the base. They presumably didn't know the danger of the bursting babies until after Newt's dad + some others got crabbed. Newt's dad's alien bursts out, they send some poorly armed schmucks to hunt down an alien that they believe to be the size of Jonesy, and then those guys get caught and slimed up. Either Alien 1 style Eggomorphing or the queen grows her sac and starts laying eggs and soon we have a pretty sizeable alien squad that can probably capture most of the colony pretty quickly. I figure even a handful of them would be able to take out the colonists as they seemingly don't have weapons beyond improvised explosives and minor small arms and such.

Who knows how long it takes the Queen to grow her bulgy egg sac, because aliens seem to grow unnaturally fast. It's only a few hours at most from birth when it eats Brett in Alien, and it's already much bigger than he is, despite being the size of a sock puppet when it burst out.

Mr. Grapes! fucked around with this message at 09:35 on May 13, 2022

banned from Starbucks
Jul 18, 2004




SuperMechagodzilla posted:

(“You had three weeks on your back, Frost.”)


Ha! i never noticed that line before. thats great.

Xenomrph
Dec 9, 2005

AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill



Actually it took at most about 37 days from Russ Jorden finding the Derelict to the last colonist getting grabbed.

Cite: the timeline link I posted, which shows its math.

Xenomrph fucked around with this message at 15:51 on May 13, 2022

SuperMechagodzilla
Jun 9, 2007

NEWT REBORN

banned from Starbucks posted:

Ha! i never noticed that line before. thats great.

It gets better:

"How long after we're declared overdue can we expect a rescue?"
"Seventeen days."

As established above, being 'declared overdue' takes a long-rear end time. If transmissions travel three times faster than ships, and the nearest help is 17 days away, it'll be a minimum of 6 days before anyone even notices the marines haven't checked in. That adds up to over 23 days. However, if they mean that the marines will be declared overdue for their arrival back on Earth, then the rescue team could take as many as forty days to arrive (or more!).

In fairness, the fact that you can add this stuff up shows that some thought was put into it. The dialogue is loaded with references to how long things take. But the point is that there isn't an accompanying sense of scale. Even a basic mission to repair a radio would require bringing several months' worth of supplies in the dropship. Total self-sufficiency is necessary because they're otherwise flying into a total void. Like, the marines are at constant risk of things turning into The Martian, before you even factor in the possibility of actual combat. As far as I can tell, they don't even carry canteens.

ruddiger
Jun 3, 2004

Preferred Alien universe watching order

Alien
Blade Runner
Blackhawk Down
Prometheus
The Martian
Alien Covenant

Xenomrph
Dec 9, 2005

AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill



ruddiger posted:

Preferred Alien universe watching order

Alien
Blade Runner
Blackhawk Down
Prometheus
The Martian
Alien Covenant

That’s chronological order, right? If so, I’d actually put Blackhawk Down after Prometheus but keep the rest the same.

ruddiger
Jun 3, 2004

Blackhawk Down came out a decade before Prometheus, and works better as a “retcon” as it were, expanding on the politics of Cameron’s aliens and the thesis that it’s “about the vietnam war” (what war is portrayed in Blackhawk down?)

ruddiger fucked around with this message at 17:23 on May 13, 2022

sigher
Apr 22, 2008

My guiding Moonlight...



Splicer posted:

Yeah, an important part of film making is not explaining what doesn't need to be explained.

Yeah, it seems like each Alien film has it's own rules about the Xenos but it never feels like they are cheating the audience when the rules change. It all helps serves the story for the type of film being made.

Here's another question I've always wondered, what happened to the Alien that burst out of the Space Jockey? I mean, it doesnt really matter but I would love a film that's set in the Derelict and people find and wake a Space Jockey derived Alien that looks absolutely different from everything else.

Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!

Fun Shoe
I'm pretty sure there was a Space Jockey xeno in one of the comics but I can't remember if it was supposed to be the one from the LV-426 derelict.

Xenomrph
Dec 9, 2005

AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill



Basebf555 posted:

I'm pretty sure there was a Space Jockey xeno in one of the comics but I can't remember if it was supposed to be the one from the LV-426 derelict.

You’re thinking of ‘Aliens: Apocalypse’ which is basically a retelling of Heart of Darkness, it’s unrelated to LV-426. Great comic, too.

As for what happened to the Space Jockey xeno, unknown. It could be in the bowels of the ship, it could be long-dead.

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug

Basebf555 posted:

I'm pretty sure there was a Space Jockey xeno in one of the comics but I can't remember if it was supposed to be the one from the LV-426 derelict.

There's a one page joke comic of the Space Jockey alien cooking face huggers, dressed up as a chef.
Holding down a face hugger onto the stove top with a spatula.
Think it was in one of the 80s Dark Horse alien comics.

Xenomrph
Dec 9, 2005

AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill



happyhippy posted:

There's a one page joke comic of the Space Jockey alien cooking face huggers, dressed up as a chef.
Holding down a face hugger onto the stove top with a spatula.
Think it was in one of the 80s Dark Horse alien comics.

You’re thinking of ‘Aliens: Taste’, and it was a big reptile looking alien, not the Space Jockey.



Not even the only creature that eats facehuggers in the old Dark Horse comics.



Speaking of other extraterrestrials, one of the creatures who’s skull is in the ‘Predator 2’ trophy case cameos in an ‘Aliens’ comic as a stone-age race of creatures:



Xenomrph fucked around with this message at 18:51 on May 13, 2022

16-bit Butt-Head
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3 days!

this kicks rear end

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug
Could have sworn it was a Space Jockey in that comic.
But good find Xeno, couldn't in a google search myself.

feedmyleg
Dec 25, 2004

ruddiger posted:

Preferred Alien universe watching order

Alien
Blade Runner
Blackhawk Down
Prometheus
The Martian
Alien Covenant

hosed up that Planet of Vampires isn't on here

ruddiger
Jun 3, 2004

I’m keeping the list restricted to Ridley’s movies in release order to preserve the director’s thematic trough line.

SuperMechagodzilla
Jun 9, 2007

NEWT REBORN

sigher posted:

Yeah, it seems like each Alien film has it's own rules about the Xenos but it never feels like they are cheating the audience when the rules change. It all helps serves the story for the type of film being made.

The films are actually fairly consistent in that regard, except for the introduction of the “Alien Queen” as a retcon of where the derelict eggs came from.

What actually changes between films is, really, everything else. The best example of this is the Alien: Isolation videogame, which completely rewrites the ending of Alien 1 in a way that doesn’t really make sense except as a response to Alien 3. The game is effectively an Alien 3 prequel.

feedmyleg
Dec 25, 2004

ruddiger posted:

I’m keeping the list restricted to Ridley’s movies in release order to preserve the director’s thematic trough line.

Doesn't mean that it's not hosed up.

sigher
Apr 22, 2008

My guiding Moonlight...



SuperMechagodzilla posted:

The films are actually fairly consistent in that regard, except for the introduction of the “Alien Queen” as a retcon of where the derelict eggs came from.

What actually changes between films is, really, everything else. The best example of this is the Alien: Isolation videogame, which completely rewrites the ending of Alien 1 in a way that doesn’t really make sense except as a response to Alien 3. The game is effectively an Alien 3 prequel.

What does A:I change in regards to the ending of Alien? I don't recall it effecting anything from that film.

Xenomrph
Dec 9, 2005

AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill



ruddiger posted:

I’m keeping the list restricted to Ridley’s movies in release order to preserve the director’s thematic trough line.

That’s actually a cool way to approach it, I thought you were doing some sort of bizarre Cinematic Universe timeline where Black Hawk Down actually somehow chronologically takes place after ‘Alien’ so I was being flippant about it, but approaching it from the angle of thematically by release date is a novel way to do it.

Anything overarching (or evolving over time) stuff you recognized?

Also why not include, well, other Scott movies?

Xenomrph fucked around with this message at 21:08 on May 13, 2022

Mister Speaker
May 8, 2007

WE WILL CONTROL
ALL THAT YOU SEE
AND HEAR
yeah where does Kingdom of Heaven fit in there

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

Xenomrph posted:

Not even the only creature that eats facehuggers in the old Dark Horse comics.


Never thought I'd see a Simon Bisley Alien comic, but there ya go. (If it's not him, it's someone doing an amazing imitation of his style.)

Xenomrph
Dec 9, 2005

AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill



Payndz posted:

Never thought I'd see a Simon Bisley Alien comic, but there ya go. (If it's not him, it's someone doing an amazing imitation of his style.)

Yep that’s him, he also did the cover art for the issue that story originally appeared in, and a couple other Aliens/Predator covers.

ruddiger
Jun 3, 2004

That’s definitely the Biz. It was from Dark Horse Presents, which was an anthology comic.

Mister Speaker
May 8, 2007

WE WILL CONTROL
ALL THAT YOU SEE
AND HEAR
I don't have many comics anymore, but that anthology is something I'll never sell. I really like the short story at the end with the space jockey who travels to Earth and kicks the poo poo out of some ambassadors before getting nuked..

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Azubah
Jun 5, 2007

MadDogMike posted:

(I’m suddenly visualizing the alien queen leaning into a radio and her little mouth saying “Send more cops!” :D).

That was the rejected ending to Alien lol, the alien would be doing the Ripley's report at the end of the movie.

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