r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for telling my MIL about my "Energy Diet" and saying it's the reason why I don't come to her weekly family dinners anymore?

lovely spineless husband is hopefully also about to learn a harsh truth about the Energy Diet

The stereotype of overprotective, creepy fathers of daughters has been mined by popular media for decades. I feel like overprotective, creepy mothers of sons has yet to be fully explored by pop psychology

# ? May 18, 2022 17:18

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# ? May 14, 2024 01:56

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

The Bramble posted:

I feel like overprotective, creepy mothers of sons has yet to be fully explored by pop psychology

uh, I mean, there are quite a few brave (mostly streaming video) venue's that are championing this paradigm right now (at least that's what my friends tell me)

# ? May 18, 2022 17:20

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for refusing to allow my nephew and niece's dad to access their inheritance?

quote:

I lost my older sister 12 years ago. She left her husband and two kids behind. In her final year of life the marriage had been rocky. Once she got sick he started seeing other people. Our family knew, my sister knew, but she didn't want to dump more trauma onto the kids by leaving him and potentially having the truth come out. So she stayed and she tried to not dwell on the fact she knew he would have no problem acting as though she didn't exist. She made sure my parents, brother and I all had access and a relationship with the kids so we could make a point for grandparents rights if we needed to. When she died she had set up a small amount of savings for both her kids and after she passed my parents took over the account and saving for her kids future. For the last four years I have been left in charge of the account with the instructions my sister and parents left.

My ex-bil was sort of aware money was kept out of his reach. It bothered him but not as much. He married fast after my sister and has a stepdaughter and a son with his wife. Over the years stuff between him, my parents and I were rough. He didn't want us having a relationship with the kids but he also didn't want any sort of visitation being granted through the courts. He also didn't want the kids finding out he brought one of his hookups around when their mom died or that he had cheated throughout her illness. I would like to say none of us would have. But my brother despises ex-bil with such a heated passion that I could see him wanting the kids to choose us and abandon their father.

But anyway. Both my niece and nephew are now over the age of 18 so the money and the accounts were signed over to them. They were surprised to find it was there but no less happy. Ex-bil was pissed when he realized the sum of money was significant and on top of gifts and experiences with my family over the years, the kids had real savings, and nothing was given to his other kids. He told me I should have allowed him access. That he could have made sure things were equal in his family with his kids. He said as the father of my nephew and niece he had a right to that money while they were minors.

AITA?

# ? May 18, 2022 17:27

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

The Bramble posted:

The stereotype of overprotective, creepy fathers of daughters has been mined by popular media for decades. I feel like overprotective, creepy mothers of sons has yet to be fully explored by pop psychology

I dunno if it's still getting made, but I remember seeing commercials for a show on TLC called Smothered that was about creepily overbearing moms and their sons (and daughters).

# ? May 18, 2022 17:27

Cerepol: Dec 2, 2011

The Bramble posted:

The stereotype of overprotective, creepy fathers of daughters has been mined by popular media for decades. I feel like overprotective, creepy mothers of sons has yet to be fully explored by pop psychology

Psycho and its derivatives (like Bates Motel) all mine this vein very well imo

# ? May 18, 2022 17:29

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for refusing to allow my nephew and niece's dad to access their inheritance?

Now might be a good time to tell them what their Dad did, if it's full disclosure time.

# ? May 18, 2022 17:30

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Why would you think your the rear end in a top hat for not giving your sisters money to kids with no relationship to her

# ? May 18, 2022 17:32

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for refusing to allow my nephew and niece's dad to access their inheritance?

Odds are very good that the sister specifically set up her will and terms of the inheritance to keep her husband out.

# ? May 18, 2022 17:34

Electric Wrigglies: Feb 6, 2015

It's not exactly common sense but is absolute wisdom to minimise seeing traumatic poo poo you don't have to see for a good reason (eg first responder where you just have to get in and deal with the trauma later).

# ? May 18, 2022 17:42

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

Electric Wrigglies posted:

It's not exactly common sense but is absolute wisdom to minimise seeing traumatic poo poo you don't have to see for a good reason (eg first responder where you just have to get in and deal with the trauma later).

Sister's friend was clearly some sort of night crawler.

# ? May 18, 2022 18:08

mycelia: Apr 28, 2013; POWERFUL FUNGAL LORD

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for refusing to allow my nephew and niece's dad to access their inheritance?

gently caress around (behind your dying wife's back), find out.

# ? May 18, 2022 18:09

titty_baby_: Nov 11, 2015

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for describing my MIL's birthday cake as "kinda gay"

Cake gay, so what

# ? May 18, 2022 18:17

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Baronjutter posted:

Sister's friend was clearly some sort of night crawler.

That was a gut punch of a film.

# ? May 18, 2022 18:18

run on sentience: Mar 22, 2022

I was with gay cake OP until she called her wife "wifey", making it a firm ESH.

# ? May 18, 2022 18:25

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Partner is offended by tasteless gift

quote:

Dear Amy: My partner, �Chris� just showed me a gift he bought for his adult son. This gift is a �verified� personal calling card once owned by Adolf Hitler (Hitler allegedly gave them out to people he would meet).

Chris purchased this card from an American museum�s rare items collection and spent quite a bit of money for it.

He finds this gift funny and amusing.

Chris is a nice and kind person, and he doesn�t have any prejudice against any ethnic groups.

I felt very disturbed, angry, disappointed, and perplexed by the nature of this gift. I don�t find anything related to Hitler an appropriate item for gift-giving, laughter, or amusement.

The night I learned of this gift, I was plagued by horrific images and thoughts of the crimes against humanity brought about by this monster.

I wrote a note to my partner about how I felt about it and invited him to do some soul searching about his choice. He read my note, stated that he felt angry and frustrated by it, and said, �I knew I shouldn�t have shown it to you.� He then said, �I don�t want my day ruined by this.�

I feel perplexed as how this sweet and kind partner could come up with such a gift, honoring an evil person.

I wonder how I can be at peace with it.

� Perplexed Partner!

"Just buying Hitler memorabilia as a lark. Why aren't you laughing?!"

# ? May 18, 2022 18:29

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for describing my MIL's birthday cake as "kinda gay"

r/relationships: Rainbow cake is lookin' kinda gay, maybe she's finally coming around

# ? May 18, 2022 18:29

DaysBefore: Jan 24, 2019

Post the calling card so I can crank call Hitler

# ? May 18, 2022 18:37

Dr. Stab: Sep 12, 2010; 👨🏻‍⚕️🩺🔪🙀😱🙀

Pope Corky the IX posted:

A few weeks ago I witnessed an Uber driver in an SUV run a red light and hit a woman on a bicycle hard enough that she was knocked out of her shoes. Conscious but in bad shape. I was on the phone with 911 standing with several others trying to block the area from traffic because it happened in a busy intersection at 4pm on a Friday. The entire time there was this loving rear end in a top hat on his phone filming the woman on the ground receiving medical treatment and kept refusing to leave, just getting in the way while acting like he was helping. He ended up having to be physically removed by the cops when they showed up.

I know the joke was just made but that's some serious Jake Gyllenhaal in Nightcrawler vibes. Like, as if he saw that movie and was like "I want to be like him."

# ? May 18, 2022 18:37

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

DemoneeHo posted:

Partner is offended by tasteless gift

Tasteless? Just add some salt!

# ? May 18, 2022 18:38

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Tasteless? Just add some salt!

Lol

Y'know, OP of the gay cake should take a note from salty spite cake OP and offered to bake MIL another cake, this time with the lesbian flag colors.

Maybe someone should open a bakery specializing in spite cakes. It would make good money.

# ? May 18, 2022 18:42

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

AITA for allowing a student to give "harsh feedback"

quote:

I am coaching a group of students for a speech competition. Competition is fierce and they have to be good to win.

I have this one student named "Nyla" who is frankly below average at speech giving. She is nervous, timid, and doesn't make eye contact. She has no intonation in her voice and little expression. It's like she's reading the most boring poo poo in the world when she gives speeches.

A student said, "Nyla, this pencil has more emotion than you." I also had other alums chime in that she had this really awkward head movement when she was speaking, had terrible hand motions (i.e. "I hated your hand motions") and didn't even memorize her speech up to par.

Nyla confronted me about this, and I said, "Look, blunt comments are good. They're a way for us to win. We need to fix all of the bad, and how can anyone do that without specific commentary? It's not like any of them cussed at you and said, 'God Nyla, you sound like a loving dumbass piece of poo poo who can't speak for your goddamn pathetic life, you worthless piece of crap.' Would you rather have people blow smoke up your rear end and say you're good and flop at the competition?"

EDIT: For context, this speech thing is Academic Decathlon.

# ? May 18, 2022 18:45

Agents are GO!: Dec 29, 2004

Breetai posted:

Yeah nah. The kid has a history of violent outbursts and destructive behaviour, and I wouldn't introduce a cat into that environment in case the kid antagonizes it, the kitten hisses or swipes at the kid, and then the kid stomps its to death..

I hadn't considered that.

What a lovely situation.

# ? May 18, 2022 18:45

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Agents are GO! posted:

I hadn't considered that. What a lovely situation.

It's not the 5 year old's fault and hopefully her emotional regulation improves over time, but I definitely wouldn't introduce any small animals into the house if she's prone to lashing out. Me and my older sister are both autistic, but my older sister also has serious intellectual impairments from oxygen deprivation at birth, and as small children I could definitely be in the radius of her outbursts of hair pulling or shoving. I don't blame her for it and I have no ill will towards her, but I can't imagine how much worse it would have been if my parents weren't making full use of state provided resources and trained carers.

# ? May 18, 2022 18:56

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

kittens are difficult for full-grown adults, they are NOT good pets for kids. they're so rambunctious, the general recco is that you get two at a time so they can distract each other bc they have such immense energy you will not keep up. that guy just picked up his wife a whole heap of trouble.

# ? May 18, 2022 19:00

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for telling my ex that he�s an idiot if he thinks our kid will be monolingual.

quote:

A short fling ended up with an unplanned pregnancy(we�re on our 30s). We didn�t last long as he was an awful partner and we broke up. I ended up deciding to keep the pregnancy and he was free to choose if he wanted to be in our kids life or not (I wasn�t going to go after him financially). He decided to see the kid occasionally but he�s not really involved despite me not preventing him from seeing our daughter.

Well, she�s learning to speak now and she�s babbling away and learning new words every day. I�m trilingual (we are all white though so it�s not a race thing), I learned two languages as adult and work as a translator. My ex found out that our daughter is being taught all three languages and he flipped. Started screaming how I�m going to mess her up, how she�s going to be discriminated against, blah, blah, blah. I pretty much called him an idiot and told him he�s stupid (in nicer terms, except calling him an idiot, that I said) if he thinks I am going to limit our child linguistically just because he is insecure and that he knew from the get go that she�ll be taught languages. Well, he didn�t like that, he stormed off and started telling everyone who will listen to him that I�m an awful mother and I am not allowing him to make any decisions (which isn�t true). My friend told me I was too harsh and I�m wondering, am I really the rear end in a top hat for calling him an idiot?

Apologies for typos, my battery will die any moment now, will edit when I get home

# ? May 18, 2022 19:02

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for telling my ex that he�s an idiot if he thinks our kid will be monolingual.

quote:
Started screaming how I�m going to mess her up, how she�s going to be discriminated against, blah, blah, blah.

Ah yes, the well-known oppression of the multilingual :raise:

# ? May 18, 2022 19:06

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

StrangersInTheNight posted:

kittens are difficult for full-grown adults, they are NOT good pets for kids. they're so rambunctious, the general recco is that you get two at a time so they can distract each other bc they have such immense energy you will not keep up. that guy just picked up his wife a whole heap of trouble.

and placed himself in the good guy position so if they have to rehome the kitten mom is forever the bad mom for it.

# ? May 18, 2022 19:06

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

YTA for trying to cut down on the supply of funny stories about rude people thinking the one they're gossiping about can't understand them

# ? May 18, 2022 19:08

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

StrangersInTheNight posted:

kittens are difficult for full-grown adults, they are NOT good pets for kids. they're so rambunctious, the general recco is that you get two at a time so they can distract each other bc they have such immense energy you will not keep up. that guy just picked up his wife a whole heap of trouble.

*reddit guy nods sagely and brings home second kitten*

# ? May 18, 2022 19:10

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

The Maroon Hawk posted:

Ah yes, the well-known oppression of the multilingual

If you teach her too much she'll end up stupid, QED!

# ? May 18, 2022 19:10

B-Rock452: Jan 6, 2005

Piell posted:

AITA for allowing a student to give "harsh feedback"

So the "coach" had a bunch of teammates bash the woman in an effort to get her to quit and is now wondering how screwed he is if she complains is what I am getting from this.

# ? May 18, 2022 19:26

greazeball: Feb 4, 2003

AITA for telling my brother that his looks aren't the reason women run from him?

quote:

I (22M) have three older siblings, Diana (43F), Sebastian (37m) and Jake (32M), I was the surprise baby and I'm closer to Jake than Diana or Sebastian.

Now, Jake has always been interested in sports and all, training since he was 14 and went pro in college, so even at 32 he looks like a young Schwarzenegger and I took after him because he was the sibling at home who I was actively watching, I mean I was young and desperate for interacting with my siblings, so I did a lot of needy things, I took baking classes with Diana, I watched every stupid Star Wars movie so I could talk to Sebastian and I became The Rock at 18 for Jake.

I'm not that needy anymore, and I never really talked with Sebastian, he claims the reason people (and mostly women) reject him are his looks, I mean he's okay, a little bald a little overweight, but also very very grumpy and noisy. He thinks Jake and I are stupid just because of how we look (he really doesn't have another reason, Jake has a PhD and I'm top of my classes, but we're stupid because MuScLeS). I've been laughing at his disrespect and resent for years, but now that I'm a bit older, I just cut him off and move away from him, it's sad because he's my brother and I want a relationship, but meh.

I was in an OR with a guy and a girl because I don't want anything serious in my 20s, and a few months ago, my girl had to pick me up form my parents house and I ''introduced her'' to my family, next day she said that Sebastian sent her the most unfckable messages on fb she has ever received in her life, I read it and it was something... he called her beautiful, he said he knew we weren't serious or official and asked her on a date, 20 min later he asked if she was there, 10 minutes later he asked her not to show me the text, and 10 minutes later he spent the next 20 minutes insulting her until she blocked him. We agreed to not tell him anything because she said she didn't cared and that was all.

I broke up with them and removed myself from the house, I'll be living with my parents for at least a month until I find another apartment, Sebastian is also living here and when I went trough the door, he laughed at me, calling me a ''kicked out Chad'' and that even when I look ''like a little Jake'' I still got broken up with and now I know how he feels when people reject him for his looks, but that ''it's better'' because my looks are the ''fuckboy stereotype'' and I just rolled my eyes and said that his looks aren't the reason women run form him but rather his creepy personality and to remember the texts he sent to [my ex] a few months ago. He got red in the face and my mom said that I was rude because Sebastian is already having a bad time being his age and living at home.

AITA for saying that my stepdaughter isn't my daughter

quote:

I (41M) met my stepdaughter Ally (16F) four years ago. No matter what I�ve done, I�ve never been able to form a relationship with her. I tried everything I could think of. I tried to bond with her through mutual interests; I took her shopping; and I tried to make time to get to know her, but nothing worked.

She seems to have resentment towards me for no reason that I can tell. Her mother had already been divorced from her father for 4 years when I met her, so it�s not like I stole her mother or anything. Her father and I are on friendly terms with one another, and he is a nice enough guy that I know he�s not purposely corrupting my image.

She�s rude and standoffish and often makes disparaging comments about me when I�m in the room. She recently made comments about my past drug issues (I got clean before I met her mother, but its still a sore subject). This is what eventually led me to give up on trying to have any sort of relationship with her beyond the title she gave me. "Her mother�s husband"

When the two of us are out together, we�re often mistaken for father and daughter, and Ally always makes it a point to snarkily say that "he�s not my father, just the man my mother married." I don�t usually address it, but there was one time where I did say it hurt my feelings and she didn�t care.

Well, last week, Ally needed to buy a dress for her junior prom, and I was the only one who could take her. Her mother had to work, and her father is often traveling for work, so he isn't really in town much. Anyway, an employee asked if my daughter needed to try any more dresses, and I made a small comment about how she�s not my daughter and I�m just helping out for the day.

We moved on, and I thought that was the end of that until my wife came home screaming at me. Apparently Ally had called her when we got home, and my wife kept saying that I hurt her daughter's feelings and that I needed to apologize. But I really don't think I should.

So AITA

# ? May 18, 2022 20:15

Ethiser: Dec 31, 2011

It�s always impressive how many adults don�t seem to remember how teenagers work.

# ? May 18, 2022 20:21

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

basically they're poo poo sandwiches

# ? May 18, 2022 20:23

DaysBefore: Jan 24, 2019

Can't believe hitting on my brothers girlfriend backfired..... loving Chads.....

# ? May 18, 2022 20:24

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

dudes like Sebastian should have someone follow them 24/7 just to make sure they don't jerk off

# ? May 18, 2022 20:27

quantumwell: Jun 22, 2013

hawowanlawow posted:

dudes like Sebastian should have someone follow them 24/7 just to make sure they don't jerk off

I think you mean "reproduce"

# ? May 18, 2022 20:51

Ensign Expendable: Nov 11, 2008; Lager beer is proof that god loves us; Pillbug

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for telling my ex that he’s an idiot if he thinks our kid will be monolingual.

I grew up bilingual and it rules, lmao if you don't use your prime language learning years to pick up some languages effortlessly as long as the opportunity exists.

# ? May 18, 2022 20:53

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

greazeball posted:

AITA for telling my brother that his looks aren't the reason women run from him?

quote:

He got red in the face and my mom said that I was rude because Sebastian is already having a bad time being his age and living at home.

i thought OP was dunkin' but then mom comes in for the alley oop

# ? May 18, 2022 21:00

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# ? May 14, 2024 01:56

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

My stalker dad (47m) is seeing my sister-in-law (31f) and aiming to be my (27f) brother-in-law

quote:

I did debate posting this because I know how this sounds but I need advice and there is no way I am talking to anyone in real life about this so here is the situation:

The second I was able to get out from under my father's roof, I cut him off, but no matter how far I go, he always finds me. He's never confronted me, but whenever I hit a life milestone, like when I graduated, got engaged, married, even new jobs, he sends me messages on spam accounts complaining that I didn't tell him about it, and there's usually also a gift delivered to my home or work address with a note to the same effect. I don't know how he could be doing this unless he's stalking me somehow, because this is not always publicly available information.

I met my husband about 5 years ago. His family like me. We got engaged right as the pandemic hit, so when we married, with the restrictions that were in place at the time, some family could be there in person, and some could not, and those who couldn't be there in person were zoomed in. My husband's sister couldn't be there in person and asked us to reschedule. We said no because the only alternative date we could have was months away. Since then, my husband's sister has not liked me.

Husband and I recently found out that sister-in-law is dating my dad. She says she knows and she doesn't care what we think because they're in love. I told her my dad isn't capable of love and she said I was just jealous (of what???). I sent her a message saying he was a bad father for the same reasons he was likely to be a bad boyfriend (callous, dismissive, alcoholic, proud, stalker, inconsiderate, irresponsible, I could go on). She replied saying he's changed. They got together shortly after the wedding, so around August last year, which was the same time he sent me one of his message/gift combos about being excluded from my wedding, so he can't have changed that much. Sister-in-law insists that they are head over heels in love and have even talked about getting married soon, bear in mind this is after 8-9 months of dating. Everyone moves at their own pace but this plus her thinking dad is a nice person makes it clear she does not know him well enough and I'm concerned for her.

Husband spoke to his mother and asked if she knew and she said she's not thrilled but sister is happy so she's happy to go with it. Husband told her my issues with dad and his mother said that I knew him a decade ago as a father and sister knows him now as a boyfriend, so sister's impression of him is probably more accurate. They are inviting my sister-in-law and dad to family events that my husband and I will also be attending, which I am not comfortable with.

Obviously she's an adult, it's her life, and we cannot stop her or the broader family from seeing my dad, but what can my husband and I do to keep our distance from dad without straining other familial relationships? (And is there a way to get sister-in-law to see dad for who he really is?)

TL;DR: Sister-in-law is dating my neglectful drunken stalker of a father and thinks he's perfect. Family are going with it. How do I protect myself from dad without straining relationships with my in-laws?

# ? May 18, 2022 21:02

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