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Everybody poops. But we don't talk about pooping enough. With that in mind, I think we should discuss some of the types of poops that don't get enough coverage in daily life. I think my favorite (least favorite) is the invisipoo. This is when you sit there. You poop. You know you pooped. Then when you look in the bowl after, it is empty. Where did the poo go? It was an invisipoo.
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# ? May 18, 2022 21:10 |
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# ? May 25, 2024 14:55 |
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ops posts
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# ? May 18, 2022 21:16 |
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gently caress you
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# ? May 18, 2022 21:17 |
hot cocoa on the couch posted:ops posts Close thread goldmine
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# ? May 18, 2022 21:17 |
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The ones that are liquid and hot to the touch
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# ? May 18, 2022 21:17 |
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Waltzing Along posted:Everybody poops. But we don't talk about pooping enough. you prolapsed
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# ? May 18, 2022 21:18 |
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4th dimensional poo You might find it yesterday yet poo it out tomorrow
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# ? May 18, 2022 21:27 |
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Colonel Cancer posted:4th dimensional poo Ah, The Once and Future Poo
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# ? May 18, 2022 21:29 |
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I once had a perfect poop. Really needed to go, sat down and farted and shat at the same time, the fart must have created a kind of envelope around the turd as it shot out, because I swear it didn't touch the sides. Nothing on the paper afterwards. All the relief and relaxation of taking a huge dump, but in the fraction of the time and with zero cleanup required. It was uncanny, really made my day. I hope to one day take another perfect poo poo, but chances are I'll always be chasing that dragon
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# ? May 18, 2022 22:40 |
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jazzyhattrick posted:I once had a perfect poop. Really needed to go, sat down and farted and shat at the same time, the fart must have created a kind of envelope around the turd as it shot out, because I swear it didn't touch the sides. Nothing on the paper afterwards. it is as the legends have foretold
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# ? May 18, 2022 22:43 |
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My dumps laugh in the face of a flush.
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# ? May 18, 2022 22:47 |
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foot long strands of really thin dook. i call it angel hair. i have pictures if anyone wants to see.
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# ? May 18, 2022 23:23 |
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spherical
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# ? May 18, 2022 23:28 |
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Wait time out guys I think I can find the old threads with the scientific pooping facts
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# ? May 18, 2022 23:31 |
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i assure you, i'm familiar with all of them intimiately
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# ? May 18, 2022 23:32 |
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"The Champagne Cork" Maybe 20 years ago, in my dads bar. It was a Sunday and the place was closed for 4 hours during the day. 3 of my friends had called round and we were getting ready to head out. I had to use the loo first. The bathroom was all tiles, porcelain and metal - good acoustics for an echo. I somehow had really bad gas at the time along with mild constipation. It was like there was a hard plug of poo poo with a massive amount of fart gas behind it trying to force it's way out. FFPOOM!!! My friends were sitting at the bar, about 20 yards around the corridor and they could hear it. I could hear them too. "wow.... HAHAHAHAHA!"
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# ? May 19, 2022 02:07 |
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A Winnie the Poo is when the turd gets stuck halfway out out your butthole and then when it finally shoots out, it gets stuck in someone else's butthole.
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# ? May 19, 2022 02:15 |
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Bristol stool type 0, it's literally you making GBS threads out a rock
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# ? May 19, 2022 02:20 |
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Another type is the no wipe. You look down after wiping and think "I didn't have to wipe at all."
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# ? May 19, 2022 03:21 |
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poo doo: when the pooping hurts so bad you could swear someone is sticking a needle into the abdomen of a tiny effigy of you
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# ? May 19, 2022 06:51 |
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the hitchhiker. thats when you are constipated and have to stick a thumb up your own rear end to get things moving.
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# ? May 19, 2022 07:10 |
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The half & half, in both color and consistency variety
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# ? May 19, 2022 07:34 |
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I had the one where you feel the connection between gut and rear end in a top hat, and the amazing force between the two entities. A portal to the poo poo dimension opened up and there was just FORCE roiling and sending waves of brown through me into the bowl. The kind of poo poo you take your shirt off for.
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# ? May 19, 2022 07:38 |
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Charles Bukowski posted:I had the one where you feel the connection between gut and rear end in a top hat, and the amazing force between the two entities. A portal to the poo poo dimension opened up and there was just FORCE roiling and sending waves of brown through me into the bowl. The kind of poo poo you take your shirt off for. Ok, George.
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# ? May 19, 2022 07:44 |
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Cantstannja!
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# ? May 19, 2022 08:02 |
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Waltzing Along posted:Another type is the no wipe. You look down after wiping and think "I didn't have to wipe at all." You can have this one every day. Get a bidet.
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# ? May 19, 2022 11:58 |
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Certain kinds of poo down on the floor, you just don't see 'em
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# ? May 19, 2022 12:01 |
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Scotch Mist
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# ? May 19, 2022 12:07 |
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If I drink red wine I have dark green poo the next day
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# ? May 19, 2022 12:26 |
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Waltzing Along posted:Ok, George. I wrote what I thought was a decent post for your lovely thread, show some effort.
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# ? May 19, 2022 12:34 |
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my least favorite is the high pressure plug. it hurts its unpredictable you really dont know what youre getting into when your rear end hits the seat which is really inconvenient at work (5 min? 30 min? am I gonna sweat profusely?) and then once you pop that thing out it shoots so hard into the water you splash your balls and rear end. then comes the soft serve. that plug was really PLUGGING you up so its just like a torrent that might never and theres a high chance of plugging the toilet by sheer volume then your previously wetted rear end and balls start mixing with sweat and you might be sliding all over the seat. then, because you feel gross and wet, you have no idea how much to wipe and how effective youre really being really honestly i just hate that kind of poo i do not like it
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# ? May 19, 2022 12:42 |
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No such thing as a bad poo, just a bad pooper
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# ? May 19, 2022 12:52 |
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The Bristol Stepdown This is when you have diarrhea that starts out as normal poop and progressively falls down the Bristol scale until it's just butt piss.
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# ? May 19, 2022 12:56 |
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My dog produced a turd that looked like a cam shaft the other day. Just a bunch of small off-center turds stuck together in one log.
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# ? May 19, 2022 13:00 |
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I was over at my pal's house playing Worms 2 or something when I really had to go. So I went to the toilet and a giant turd came forth but before it had dropped I felt a huge fart erupting, but it somehow went inside the turd and blasted it apart like a bomb. The whole inside of the bowl was covered in poo poo. Naturally I related this sublime experience to my friend afterwards.
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# ? May 19, 2022 13:23 |
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The Bristol -1 : Poo poo so runny, you feel your very essence leaking into the toilet and when you leave the bathroom, part of your soul has been lost. This foul rite is known in dorking circles as the "poop horcrux"
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# ? May 19, 2022 13:29 |
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Mooey Cow posted:I was over at my pal's house playing Worms 2 or something when I really had to go. So I went to the toilet and a giant turd came forth but before it had dropped I felt a huge fart erupting, but it somehow went inside the turd and blasted it apart like a bomb. The whole inside of the bowl was covered in poo poo. This is unbelievably epic...
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# ? May 19, 2022 13:33 |
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Poop³ : When u r a sweet baby wombat or wombus and u poop. Rarer among humanoid creatures. (Aka "the briquette")
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# ? May 19, 2022 13:44 |
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"Great Gravy!" : Poop so scintillating and alluring in its design, it will attract any gravy-prone cat to rush to the commode and scramble it's way into into the bowl to perform a feasting ritual. Also known to attract wild cats/big cats
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# ? May 19, 2022 13:50 |
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# ? May 25, 2024 14:55 |
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tar
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# ? May 19, 2022 13:52 |