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Dwight shows up to work and sees that is desk is gone. "Very funny, Jim. Where's my desk?" demands Dwight. "It's right where it always is but it was real cold last night so I think it shrank," answers Jim, poker-faced. Dwight looks down and sees a tiny desk the size of a matchbox. He picks it up and examines it. "Ha ha, Jim. How long did it take you to make this?" asks Dwight. The tiny phone on Dwight's desk starts to ring. Dwight picks it up with his thumb and forefinger. "Hello, Dwight Schrute." Jim mugs at the camera. Cut to opening theme.
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May 20, 2022 15:00
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| # ? Jun 3, 2024 23:44 |
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I have to admit I had never watched The Office before (I'm pretty sure it wasn't released in my country) and I only watched some of the prank skits on youtube before I started posting in this thread.
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May 20, 2022 15:02
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On a rainy night, Dwight's car starts malfunctioning so he pulls off to the side of the road. There's no one around and Dwight hasn't seen a car in ages, so he hopes he can quickly diagnose the problem and fix it. Dwight opens the hood of his car and a puff of smoke flies up. Dwight is heading back to the car to grab his cell phone when he hears a faint voice. "Help me... please..." Concerned, Dwight heads towards the voice, which leads him to an abandoned farm near where he parked his car. The voice gets louder, leading Dwight to an overgrown field near a rotting barn. "Thank you, I'm right over here. Help me..." Dwight pushes through weeds as high as his head, trying to find the source of the voice. He trips over a thick root and thuds on his stomach. As he looks up, he finds the source of the voice. Wrapped in rotting vines and dried leaves is a skeletal, green-skinned Jim. His floppy hair is intertwined with crawling ivy, and half of his face is coated in what looks like tree bark. The thing opens its mouth and lets out another mournful wail, and Dwight sees pillbugs and worms crawling around the insides of the thing. Terrified, Dwight runs as fast as he can, heading back to his car. As he does, a light turns on in the rotting barn. Dwight runs even faster, fearing for his life. As Dwight reaches his car, he sees a figure already standing by it, dressed in a rain slicker. Dwight yells, telling the figure to get in the car and hide. As Dwight gets closer, he realizes the figure is mugging at him. "Hey Dwight, welcome to Halpert Farms, buddy." Jim lifts a handheld scythe into the air, its blade illuminated by a flash of lightning.
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May 20, 2022 15:07
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Dwight stumbles upon Jim's TikTok account by accident. Jim has hundreds of videos posted. Half of them are Jim lip synching to country songs while posing in his back yard, the other half are Jim lip synching Jeff Foxworthy and Bill Engvall stand up comedy bits. There's no apparent joke to this, Jim seems to unironically enjoy doing this. The videos stretch back for years, and include hashtags such as #countrylife #skinthatdeer #countryboyzdoitbetter and #pickuptruckboy. Dwight cautiously looks at Jim, who's not reacting at all. He realizes this isn't a prank, this is actual insight into Jim's psyche. "Christ almighty..." Dwight mutters under his breath.
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May 20, 2022 15:59
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Applewhite posted:Just read my wife the entire one about when Jim was trapped in a world of pranks ("pretty goddamn funny") so she could understand the one where Jim tells Dwight about the Prankosphere being hell. I can’t even imagine how many layers of thread lore deep you’d have to be to understand some of the pranks these days. It’s truly one of the greatest free form jokes I’ve ever seen. I mean, we’ve got people who’ve never seen the source material in here that understand the characters and their motivations better than fans of the show itself
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May 20, 2022 16:06
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Ok so we start with Cosmic Jim. So, Cosmic Jim is the source of all pranks and "prank energy" ok I suppose I should explain what prank energy is. No wait, well, first Jim gets a time machine and
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May 20, 2022 16:12
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Pathetic Jim's the key to all this, if we get Pathetic Jim working. Because he's a funny character, I think, than we've ever had before in this show.
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May 20, 2022 16:14
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I know what Jim is, but why is Jim?
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May 20, 2022 16:17
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Dwight and Angela are out to dinner when they hear a commotion coming from the. The kitchen door is kicked down and Jim, covered in food and fighting off restaurant staff, crashes to the ground. "THE CHICKEN PARMESAN IS MADE OUT OF PEOPLE! IT'S PEOPLE!!!!!" The waitstaff tackles Jim and drags him outside. Dwight looks down at his chicken parmesan, then up at his wife, then back down at the chicken. He takes his napkin off his lap, folds it up, and covers the chicken. "Check, please."
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May 20, 2022 16:24
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it turns out i had already adapted The Second Coming to be about jim. i had forgotten that, and did it again.
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May 20, 2022 16:33
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:it turns out i had already adapted The Second Coming to be about jim. i had forgotten that, and did it again. Talk about a second, Second Coming, am I right? Oh no... Cosmic Jim... he's in my head...
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May 20, 2022 16:52
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:it turns out i had already adapted The Second Coming to be about jim. i had forgotten that, and did it again. Talk about artistic license!
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May 20, 2022 17:05
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Upgrade posted:Talk about artistic license! Talk about a second coming!
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May 20, 2022 17:09
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poisonpill posted:Talk about a second coming! “Talk about another trip around the sun” I post Jimishly and confusingly
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May 20, 2022 17:16
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Jim comes to work wearing a t-shirt bearing his own face caricaturized as a cartoon chimp and the word "Jimpanzee" underneath. "Jim that's not proper work attire," says Dwight. Jim animorphs into a chimpanzee and goes apeshit.
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May 20, 2022 17:27
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Jim starts an OnlyFans page, promising to reveal upcoming pranks to his supporters. Dwight decides to donate, hoping to be able to pre-plan for Jim's insanity. He opens the first subscriber-only post, and it just reads "THANKS FOR THE MONEY, DWIGHT" Dwight realizes that he probably should have expected this.
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May 20, 2022 17:28
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Jim comes to work as a low-poly N64 Goldeneye version of himself. His face is just a poor-quality Jpeg of him mugging the camera. "Jim maybe instead of doing things like this you should get some work done," suggests Dwight. Jim crouch-jumps up onto his desk then crouch-jumps into an air vent, sliding along on one knee through the man-sized vent. He spends the rest of the day in the air vent giggling and trying to shoot Dwight through the vent screens.
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May 20, 2022 17:40
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Jim posts yet another vid on his OnlyFans where he reads (cackling with glee) the bizarre pranks submitted to him by fans and anonymous strangers on the internet. This one is set at a bohemian coffee shop, where Jim wearing a beret reads poetry by Yeats, altered to describe his pranks on a coworker. The audience looks disturbed and confused. Jim interrupts the poem halfway through to look directly at the camera and ask viewers to like, subscribe, and buy Jim themed mugs.
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May 20, 2022 18:10
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The newsboy shows up to drop off the office's subscription to the Scranton Times (paid out of Dwight's pocket because he believes an awareness of current events is crucial to a well-informed electorate). Before anyone can look at the paper, Elon Musk rushes into the office dressed as Waluigi. He knocks over the paperboy and snatches up the newspaper. "IdecidedtovoteRepublicansotheDemocratsaregoingtocancelmebyclaimingIsexuallyharassedawoman!" he exclaims breathlessly as he hurriedly shreds the front page of the newspaper. Of course now the whole office is paying attention. Elon has successfully destroyed the newspaper but everyone still has their computers and soon the whole office is googling news about Elon Musk. It turns out a SpaceX employee is accusing him of sexually harassing her and paying $250,000 to cover it up. The article shows a photo of Elon Musk dressed as Waluigi trying to block reporters from taking pictures with his oversized cartoon glove. Elon complains loudly about how "telework is making employees lazy" and tasks Jim (executive software imagineer) with creating a firewall that blocks negative news stories about Elon Musk. Jim implements the firewall and soon the only website anyone in the office can access is "Dwightsucks dot RU," a website loaded with malware, worms, and adware. Musk's computer gets ransomwared and he blames the attack on "Woke Antifa Democrats with pro-union sympathies." Jim mugs for the camera.
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May 20, 2022 19:05
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A Fancy Hat posted:This rules and I think you should watch an episode of the show and report back what you thought of it and how this thread colors your perception of the characters. Wow! These people are way worse than I thought, Dwight deserves everything that's coming at him and I seriously hope Michael gets his comeuppance.
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May 21, 2022 00:09
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Jim wakes up and heads to the bank. There, he empties the Halpert family bank accounts, cashes out their 401(k)s and takes penalties on early withdrawal to get the money out of his children's college funds. He takes it all to Atlantic City where he bets it all on black... and wins. He repeats this several more times, then uses his combined winnings to begin buying billboards. Every time his monthly check comes in for the billboard space, he buys more. And more. Soon, every billboard in America is owned by one man. Dwight, trying to be a good friend, advises Jim over lunch. He says that, while real estate might be a good investment, Jim might want to think about diversifying his holdings. Tying his entire fortune to advertising, a notoriously fickle market, could doom him to a life of boom-bust cycles. At the top of the next month, Jim cancels all of his contracts and replaces every billboard in America with one advocating the benefits of adopting the metric system. And it works! People have metric fever all over the country. It's even going on the ballot in November. Dwight is actually impressed with Jim; he's long advocated for the adoption of the more logical metric system over the outdated Imperial standard, but never thought anyone could successfully rally Americans to back a changeover. When election day rolls around, Proposition 2341, simply known as The Metric Bill, rolls to victory. The president invites Jim to the White House to symbolically break a yardstick over his knee and then throw it in the fire before receiving a gold-plated meterstick. Dwight and some others are watching the ceremony on TV while on their lunch break when they hear Michael screaming "NO" in his office. Dwight goes to check on him. "Dwight, we should have stopped him when we had the chance." Michael says. His eyes are red from crying as he holds a ruler protectively to his chest. "I don't know how many kilometers are per hour and frankly I don't want to. Have you ever been to Canada? It's terrifying. It only ever gets up to twenty degrees there and they never even mind!" Dwight attempts to explain some of the benefits of the metric system, like how easy it is to convert units, and that most of the world is already using it. Michael doesn't want to hear it. "Et tu, Dwight?" He asks, jabbing a finger at his assistant accusingly. "Et tu?!?!" And then hurls himself out his office window. Dwight looks down at Michael, who only fell one story so it's not like he was pulverized or anything. But he clearly broke both his legs trying to land and they need to get him a doctor. As Oscar dials 911, Dwight and Kevin grab their coats to go outside and check on Michael. Just before they get to the door, they hear the television. A reporter is asking Jim if he'd like to say a few words. "Of course I would. Hey Dwight, I hope Michael enjoyed his FALL TRIP. I know he's the head of our office, but... but he's... y'know..." Jim sort of trails off at that point and instead mugs for the camera.
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May 21, 2022 00:52
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sometimes Jim is the hero of the story
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May 21, 2022 02:40
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Flowers For Algeria posted:Wow! These people are way worse than I thought, Dwight deserves everything that's coming at him and I seriously hope Michael gets his comeuppance. Quite honestly I’d forgotten that Jim is supposed to be the hero of the show. How far has thread Dwight drifted from show Dwight?
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May 21, 2022 02:48
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poisonpill posted:Quite honestly I’d forgotten that Jim is supposed to be the hero of the show. How far has thread Dwight drifted from show Dwight? So far Dwight has proven to be a remarkably unpleasant individual. I have seen no signs of beet farms, no balloon boys, not a trace of anything that might suggest he is a pacifist or that he has any place near a woman. I have no idea if his character ever evolves because Michael is so god drat dumb and insufferable and never actually gets punished for it so I've vowed not to ever go further than season 2 episode 2 and I feel like this thread is a prank designed to make you watch The Office. Edit so far I don't think I've seen Dwight put in any work as a salesman. Jim has, though. Somewhat. Flowers For Algeria fucked around with this message at 04:10 on May 21, 2022 |
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May 21, 2022 04:07
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Season 11 is where Little Champion shows up, and is generally considered to be the high point of the show.
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May 21, 2022 04:38
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Jim introduces Dwight to a woman who works for a nearby freeze-drying facility from a few towns over. Dwight is instantly suspicious of both of them and refuses to interact with her in any way. 70 years later, a 114 year old Dwight Schrute lay on his deathbed, his life having been empty for decades except for his charity work, his farm, his coworkers, and his numerous contributions to the arts and sciences in his free time. Somehow, he always felt something was missing. Jim, arrives to pay his last respects to a worthy adversary. Jim has to be over 100 himself, but he still looks the same after 70 years. As they share their final words with one another, Jim pulls out a photo of a familiar face. A woman in a wedding dress standing next to a sharply-dressed Dwight. Dwight remembers her, instantly, but doesn't recall ever having his picture taken with her. "Everyone used to say you two were the perfect couple. I saw it in the last timeline I was in. That's why I tried so hard to get you two to hook up in this one..." Jim leans in closer. "You see, if it were ME trying to get you two together, you'd NEVER, EVER, want a thing to do with her..." Dwight looks confused. "Do you know how loves I've taken from you in how many different versions of the timestream? All it took was being 'helpful' to destroy your chance at finding love and happiness." Jim shows off one photo after another from his wallet: A smiling Dwight standing next to a different woman in a different wedding dress. Some of them he knew, some of them he didn't. There were dozen and dozens of different photos, far more than a simple velcro wallet with a checkerboard pattern could possibly hold. Dwight wasn't sure if he losing his grip on reality. "This one, though? I'd say she was in your top ten of potential wives from how you lived in the last go around. Maybe even top three." Jim perked up as he felt something approach. "Well, time's up for now, Dwight. I just wanted to share this with you before you died this time. Don't worry, though. The next go around, I'm going to give you another chance to find your PERFECT wife. I'm going to let you live your happy little perfect life and have a perfect little family, and I'll come back at this same time and place there, too. I'm going to tell you all this again. I'll show you all these photos and tell this little tale one more time. Next time, though, after you've lived that glorious life of joy and love, I'm going to tell you that I'm going back in time, again, and I'm going to make it so it never happened." Jim evaporated into a fog that vanished. As he did, Dwight saw the angel of death emerge from a void. Dwight was ready to go, but but before he could be taken to his eternal rest, the world began to fade... Was Jim telling the tr---
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May 21, 2022 09:03
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Jim offends Dwight both viscerally and politically by having sex with Hillary Clinton on top of Dwight's desk.
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May 21, 2022 23:01
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Jim gets deep into conspiracy theories and convinces thousands of boomers that Dwight is JFK Jr.
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May 21, 2022 23:02
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Jim "chows down" on some Famous Original Jim's pizza, which is soggy cardboard spread with Ragu and sprinkled with slices of American cheese and Lunchables pepperoni then heated in a microwave oven. The prank is that this is during the office Pizza Party celebrating Dwight's 1 millionth sale and Famous Original Jim's is the only food available.
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May 22, 2022 03:44
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Jim has his own hands surgically replaced with feet so that Dwight had to be grossed out at the sight of Jim typing with his toes.
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May 22, 2022 21:09
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Serge Painsbourg posted:Jim offends Dwight both viscerally and politically by convincing thousands of boomers that Dwight is JFK Jr. Upgrade posted:Jim gets deep into Hillary Clinton on top of Dwight's desk.
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May 22, 2022 22:00
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Jim drags himself into work late on Monday morning, his already usually sloppy business casual attire noticeably more lackadaisically arranged than typical. He slumps down into his chair and without preamble begins to whine to Dwight: "They ruined it, Dwight. They absolutely stole my childhood." Dwight finishes texting the at-risk youth he's taken on as a Big Brother, and makes the most cursory of glances toward Jim, "Hmm?" Jim sighs and heaves himself back in his chair. "It's Rescue Rangers. I've been looking forward to it for years. This was going to be my second favorite movie of all time. And they ruined it." Dwight already went back to working the moment he heard "Rescue Rangers", but Jim continues. "It's Gadget. She's in the movie for, like, two minutes! Two!? She was the most important part of the team, and they gave her less time than Monterey Jack?! But that isn't the worst part. They worst part? She was the symbol of purity. She was the untainted object of every chipmunk's desire. And they soiled it. They dragged her through the mud. She... she..." Jim falls to a crumpled heap with his head in his arms, and mumbles indistinct but apparently racially charged complaints about the character of the cartoon mouse Gadget from a thirty-year-old children's show. Dwight conspicuously leaves his stapler out near Jim's desk when he goes out to lunch, but Jim is too morose to even think about pranking him, and it remains untouched when Dwight returns.
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May 23, 2022 01:32
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Pope James I sneaks into the Vatican library after hours and alters the Golden Legend, rewriting the story and miracles of Saint Dwight of Scranton. Now he is not a kind, charitable servant of God, but an unpleasant, overbearing sycophant descended from Nazi war criminals.
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May 23, 2022 02:16
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Jim sleeps in a dog bed instead of a human bed.
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May 23, 2022 05:04
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Noticing that Mose seems anxious and lonely, Dwight decides to adopt a dog to keep around Schrute Farms. Although the office of Dog Catcher for Scranton has been rocked by political scandal, things seem to have turned around since Jim was forcibly removed from office. Dwight bonds instantly with a beagle named Giacomo. Dwight brings Giacomo home and he and Mose get along extremely well. Dwight feels like, for the first time in a quite a while, things are going smoothly in his life. Jim had all of his political power stripped away, he's become a shell of himself at work and hasn't even pranked Dwight since that happened, and the farm is doing better than ever. Mose and Giacomo spend most of the day running around together, happy as can be. Life is good. One night, Dwight is awoken by a weird howling noise. He looks outside and sees Mose rolling around in the mud with Giacomo. Not that unsual, really, except Mose looks to be covered in something. The moonlight makes it look like he's covered in something shiny. Concerned, Dwight rushes outside, but Mose and Giacomo run away. Oddly, Giacomo seems to be leading Mose away. Dwight shivers for a moment but follows them into the beet field, all the while yelling at Mose to come back. The beets are high, it's been an usually good season. Dwight can barely see in front on him through the thick leaves, he's just following the steady pat pat pat of feet and the rustling of the beets. He feels like he's getting closer when, suddenly, he feels the ground fall out from under him. Suddenly, he's up to his waist in something wet. It smells like iron and Dwight realizes, with horror, that it's a pool of blood. The beet plants next to him start to shake and Giacomo leads Mose forward. The moon illuminates them. Mose is still wet and practically shines under the moonlight. Giacomo looks at Dwight with an almost human intelligence that makes Dwight shiver. As Dwight tries to pull himself out of the pool, Giacomo barks at him. Frightened, Dwight trips backwards and is submerged under the blood pool. He feels two dog paws land on his head and push down, trying to drown him. Dwight fights against it but feels two more limbs reach out and push him down. I'm going to drown out here, Dwight thinks. I'm going to drown and no one will ever find me. The world is growing dark and Dwight feels a warmth spreading over him. It would be easy, he thinks, to just give up. No more pranks, never again. Just close my eyes and relax. Dwight thinks of Angela and bursts out of the pool, sending Giacomo and Mose sprawling with the force of his escape. The right thing is rarely the easy thing, and Dwight is no longer ready to leave this world. He's covered in blood and stares at Giacomo, who growls and seems to have real human hatred behind his eyes. Mose looks scared, almost as if he's coming out of a trance. Dwight shoots him a look of pure aggression and Mose falls to the ground on all fours, silent. Giacomo takes advantage of Dwight's temporary distraction and dives at him, jaws snapping. He latches on to Dwight's left arm and bites down, drawing blood and causing Dwight to let out a howl of pain. Gathering all his strength, Dwight clutches Giacomo by his collar and begins to pull him off. The dog's jaws are tightly clenched around Dwight's mighty arm, though, and tear long ragged wounds in his flesh as Dwight drags him off. Holding the snapping dog at arm's length like a deadly viper, Dwight cautiously climbs out of the blood pool. He looks at Mose, who looks ashamed. Dwight smiles at him. All is forgiven, and Mose happily leads Dwight out of the beet field. As Dwight approaches the house, he holds Giacomo in front of him, who continues to snap and bark at him futilely. Dwight is nearly to the house when Giacomo twists his entire body with incredible force, catching Dwight off guard and breaking his grip on the dog's collar. Giacomo drops to the ground and keeps twisting and shaking. Concerned he's having a seizure, Dwight rushes to help the dog, but discovers with dawning horror that something much worse is happening. Giacomo is somehow growing and changing, his limbs elongated and changing. Disgusting squelching and snapping noises issue forth from the mass of writhing flesh. The dog's limbs extend and take on human proportions. His snout begins to shrink back into his face with a series of popping noises. The chest begins to heave and grow. And the floppy ears of the beagle shrink down. Of course, thinks Dwight, of course it's him. Floppy ears. Why would I get a dog with floppy ears? With one last pained howl, Giacomo is no more, the fleshy pile having changed into a purely human form. It stands up, completely nude, floppy hair hanging over a face that still shows incredible pain from the monstrous transformation. "I guess... I guess I was DOG tired, eh, buddy?" Jim mugs for the camera.
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May 23, 2022 13:48
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A Fancy Hat posted:Dwight clutches Giacomo by his collar and begins to pull him off. 
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May 23, 2022 14:38
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Jim sprints into the office and shouts to the world in general "IAMHEREBYRUNNINGFORMYREELECTIONCAMPAIGNFORASSISTANTDOGCATCHERASAREPUBLICAN," then takes a deep intake of breath and barely manages to finish "SOANYTHINGYOUHEARABOUTMEINTHENEXTFIVESECONDSISAPOLICICALLYMOTIVATEHITJOB," before collapsing, panting, to the ground. Three seconds later, Dwight charges into the office looking furiously at Jim, and drenched in banana cream pie filling.
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May 23, 2022 16:08
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Jim hires a camera crew to follow Dwight around 24/7. "I know you guys already film us a lot," he says to the camera crew, "but these guys used to work on Cheaters, so they know how to get the GOOD stuff!" After a few days, Jim has curated dozens of hours of candid footage of Dwight. He continues paying the camera crew to "bring papa his sugar", and begins the process of editing the footage, looking for anything he can shame Dwight for. After months of this and hundreds of hours of editing, he finally finds it. Dwight heads into work with a smile on his face, it looks like a beautiful day outside and he's eager to get his work done. As he walks in, a smug Jim is sitting on top of his desk, cross-legged, and holding a stack of papers. "Well, Dwight, looks like YOU had some fun last week!" Jim throws the papers at Dwight but, due to Jim's malnourished body, he can barely toss them more than a few centimeters. He awkwardly picks them back up and just hands them to Dwight. The papers are covered in screenshots from the candid footage of Dwight, showing Dwight tossing a plastic bottle in a regular garbage can. "My God, Dwight, you might as well burn the whole Earth down to a cinder. You really don't give a poo poo at all, do you? And you know the worst part? You're such a sanctimonious, holier-than-thou bastard about it. Always trying to save the Earth, always doing your charity work. But really? You're just a bastard filling up the landfill and watching the world collapse around you. What the gently caress do you have to say for yourself?" Dwight notes that, due to the positioning of the camera crew, the recycling can was hidden from view. Dwight even offers to take Jim to the location of the footage, to show the real can, the one Dwight tossed the the bottle in to. He seems nonplussed by the revelation of 24/7 surveillance, however. "Oh no, stop making excuses. Your rear end is cancelled, Dwight!" For the next 5 months, every time Dwight makes a sale, Jim emails the customer an anonymous email that says "Did you know your new paper provider doesn't recycle?". None of this gains any traction and Jim is effectively screaming into the void for 5 months. He also forgets to stop paying the camera crew, racking up massive amounts of debt for no good reason. "Gotcha, Dwight. Gotcha REAL good!" he says, for no reason at all, when the Cheaters camera crew comes asking for their payment.
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May 23, 2022 16:19
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Jim rushes into the office, juggling a hot pizza box from Famous Original Jim's on his fingertips. "Hot stuff, coming through!" screeches Jim, barreling straight toward Dwight's desk where Dwight is hard at work. Dwight leaps out of his chair and tries to evade, but Jim swerves to follow Dwight, seemingly led by the precariously balanced pizza box. "Watch out, Dwight, get out of the way!" cries Jim, following Dwight's every zig and zag with professional football player agility while still somehow affecting a clumsy stagger. "Woah! Wuh oh!" Jim finally catches up to Dwight and dumps scalding hot pizza all over him and Meredith. Hot oil sears Dwight's back and molten cheese sticks to Meredith like napalm. "Geez, Dwight, I told you to watch out! Why didn't you get out of the way?" Jim smirks. "Talk about a balloon boy!" HR is unable to prove the incident was on purpose and Jim gets off scot free. Meredith and Dwight have to go to the hospital.
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May 23, 2022 18:16
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| # ? Jun 3, 2024 23:44 |
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Famous Original Jims introduces a new “hotter than hot pizza”. Dwight, being a fan of spicy food and wanting to support a local business, gives it a try. Unfortunately for Dwight the pizzas description refers to the temperature it’s served at, not it’s spice level, and he (Dwight) receives third degree burns on his face and mouth from trying to eat a 400 degree slice of pizza
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May 23, 2022 18:36
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