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Jim whips an applecore at the back of Dwight's head. When Dwight turns around to see who threw it, Jim turns invisible. Jim mugs invisibly at the camera.
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May 25, 2022 16:45
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| # ? May 29, 2024 07:21 |
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May 25, 2022 17:21
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Jim engages in an extremely hostile targeted online harassment campaign against Dwight Shrute. Dwight and his friends and family cannot log onto any social media, or read the comments on any local news stories, without seeing hundreds of anonymous comments about how "Dwite Shroot is a pedo guy" and "Dwite wants to kill the dream of colonizing mars with moms". The names on the comments are all variations of the name "Jim" with long strings of numbers. Dwight asks Jim about it, but Jim denies knowing anything about this. Several weeks prior, he hired a Russian company on the dark web to harass Dwight, then drank one of his own inventions, a Forget-Me-Drink, the potion he invented to wipe his own memory of the past 24 hours.
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May 25, 2022 17:26
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Jim declares that his pranks "ain't just for kids any more" and ups the violence, sex, and foul language to a dangerous degree. "Hey Balloon Fucker! Did can you hand me the making GBS threads salt shaker?" Jim is wearing a t-shirt with a nude woman on it, along with the words "rear end in a top hat AND PROUD" printed in Comic Sans. Jim then lets out a huge fart. Dwight hands Jim the salt shaker but can't release it from his hand, finding it glued to his palm. "Holy loving poo poo boobs rear end! Your drat hand is stuck to the motherfucking salt shaker!" Jim is, somehow, now wearing a different shirt, this one has Bart Simpson smoking weed on it. Jim mugs for the camera - to the extreme!
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May 25, 2022 18:15
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Holy loving poo poo I thought Mose was a dog
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May 25, 2022 19:16
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Flowers For Algeria posted:Holy loving poo poo I thought Mose was a dog ? He is. They recast him in Season 2
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May 25, 2022 21:10
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Jim vows to go "all out" because he "wants to get cancelled." Somehow Jim convinces Michael that what the office needs most is an open mic night. When absolutely no one is interested in staying two hours after work so that Jim and Michael can tell lovely jokes, Michael puts his foot down and makes the event mandatory. Michael brings a puppet to work and does a terrible Jeff Dunham bit. Everyone scrolls through their phones or struggles to stay awake. Stanley does a crossword. Michael departs the stage in a huff. Then it's Jim's turn. Jim takes the stage completely nude except for a pair of tennis shoes. "Dicks, amirite?" says Jim. "I'm not into them! I'm into women though!"—Jim winks at Pam, who rolls her eyes—"What if a woman had a dick? I'd be like, wuh oh! Does that make me racist? I'm being sarcastic!" Jim starts to prance around on stage but slips in a puddle of lube from Michael's "anal fisting" bit where Michael pretends he has to lube up his hand before putting it in the puppet's rear end. Jim does a complete backflip and bashes his head on the corner of the podium, knocking him unconscious instantly. No one seems to care about helping him and everyone just quietly leaves. Dwight is the last to leave the conference room. He considers leaving Jim there, but his conscience gets the better of him. Dwight wraps Jim's nude body in a blanket and carries him down to Dwight's car. Jim is light, it's like lifting a scarecrow made of balsa wood. As Dwight is driving Jim to the hospital, Jim regains consciousness. "D-did I do it?" asks Jim groggily. "Do what, Jim?" asks Dwight. "Did I t-trigger the libs? Did I get cancelled?" "You sure did, buddy, you sure did," replies Dwight. Jim smirks and closes his eyes. He slips into a coma for the next fourteen weeks.
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May 26, 2022 03:52
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Jim declares that his pranks "ain't just for kids any more" and ups the violence, sex, and foul language to a dangerous degree. "Watch out Dwight! My balls are on fire!" Jim screeches as he lights a fuse that attaches to his balls, causing them to explode in a shower of gore. Suddenly the doorbell rings. Jim rushes to the reception desk to greet cartoon Rick and Morty, who have just arrived in their spaceship made of trash. "Wubababalba dub dub!" yells Rick. Jim and Rick share a complicated secret handshake maneuver. "What's crackalackin, shitface?" asks Jim. "I was just in the loving neighborhood and wanted to drop in on my number one shitbro, Elon loving Musk!" declares Rick. Elon Musk (dressed as Waluigi and also holding a dildo in each hand) steps out of his office. "gently caress me! It's loving Rick and loving Morty!" yells Elon. Dwight holds his head in his hands and regrets being born.
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May 26, 2022 04:00
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Jim goes "all out" with his pranks and invites his friends Rick and Morty over. They play the cruelest prank of all by sending their other friend Elon into a cursed dimension where somehow, despite his insane dimwittedness and inability to string basic thoughts together, he is somehow hailed as a "genius" and the "real life Tony Stark." This culminates with Elon being given a hosting spot on a famous long-running live-performance late night Saturday variety show. This takes place in an alternate, infinitely stupider universe. The way Jim can tell the difference is that Elon wears a Wario costume in that one.
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May 26, 2022 04:43
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Jim pours ice on the floor causing Dwight to slip. Dwight slides all the way across the room, smashes through the window and flies up into outer space.
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May 26, 2022 04:52
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Jim turns Dwight's chair into a pile of snakes, which eat Dwight's shoes and force him to walk home on clouds of stolen children's dreams (they're magic snakes or something, just roll with it). Jim's inner astral self mugs at the all-seeing gnostic god.
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May 26, 2022 05:15
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Jim replaces Dwight's voice with a high-pitched squeaky voice, and his hands with giant white gloved hands. Dwight furiously yells at Jim, but the effect is rendered ridiculous due to Dwight's voice. Later, the camera crew enters the office to find the entire staff passed out on the floor. Jim had just laced the coffee pot with LSD and set the souped up HVAC unit to pipe helium into the vent above Dwight's desk.
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May 26, 2022 05:17
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Jim’s gullible friend Elon needs to give away his horse, so he asks Jim for advice. Jim tells Elon that his coworker Dwight would be happy to take the horse, but that he often mistakes the word “horse” for the word “penis”, and he may need a visual aid to fully understand.
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May 26, 2022 06:02
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Jim vows to go all out to get cancer. He proceeds to do hold his balls in front of an open microwave, and sunbathe while x-raying himself. This results in him receiving a cease and desist letter from the lawyers of Matt Stone and Trey Parker, as Jim's antics are an exact beat for beat recreation of an episode of South Park. "Looks like I triggered the libs again." quips, a now extremely tumourous, Jim. "Jim, they're not liberals, they're libertarians." Dwight corrects him. "Still counts balloon boy, the first 3 letters match. If whatever you are starts with L-I-B, old Jimmy-boy's gonna trigger you." The camera pans over Jim's shoulder to his, Jim's, computer monitor. In the open browser tab Jim is booking an airline ticket to Monrovia. Jim looks over his shoulder, and mugs the camera.
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May 26, 2022 12:28
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Jim challenges Dwight to a race around the block. "Winner take all, buddy, whaddaya say?" Dwight agrees to this and very easily beats Jim. As Dwight patiently waits at the finish line, a red-faced Jim shows up completely out of breath. He vomits and then sits down, continually telling Dwight to "hold on a second". After a few minutes of this, Jim takes his shirt off and throws it into the road, his skeletal frame coated in sweat. "Okay, Dwight. You won, fair and square. Guess you get it all!" Jim opens his mouth and light begins to pour out. He turns towards Dwight and engulfs him in the weird, yellowish light. The camera crew is blinded, and all footage of this event is grainy and incomprehensible. The light finally stops and Jim falls to the ground, no longer anything more than an empty flesh bag. Dwight stands for a moment, then cautiously taps his body. He feels okay. Despite the light show, it seems like Jim didn't actually do anything. Then Dwight hears it, inside his head. Talk about getting inside your head, huh? You got it all, Dwighty Boy, including my soul! I'm gonna be with you forever! Dwight feels as if something deep inside his mind is mugging at him.
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May 26, 2022 12:36
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Citizens all around Scranton begin reporting a strange phone call. Each one is exactly the same. A breathy voice, rasping "I'm going to kill Dwight." Dwight obviously confronts Jim, who claims ignorance. "I'm getting those calls, too! Scared the hell outta me. Trust me, Dwight, I'm not doing it. Does it really feel like my kind of prank to just call people and threaten you?" It doesn't, not really. Dwight agrees and takes Jim at his word. The calls continue, getting more explicit each time. Police say their hands are tied, they're too busy driving their new tank around town to investigate the calls. Dwight takes matters into his own hands, asking citizens to report when they receive a call. After a few days, a call comes in to Dwight's house. The same raspy voice. "I'm going to kill you Dwight, RIGHT NOW!" Suddenly, Dwight's kitchen door is kicked down and a figure dressed in a black body suit runs into the house. It's wielding an axe and wearing a paper plate on its face like a mask, with two eye holes cut in. "GONNA KILL YA DWIGHT! KILL YA REAL GOOD!" Dwight has prepared for this moment and grabs a can of bear mace from under his favorite chair, then discharges it into the figure's face. He quips that the figure must find this "pretty un-bear-able", confident he's handled the situation. The figure falls to the ground howling in pain, dropping his axe. Dwight grabs the axe and pins the figure down, removing the paper plate mask. Dwight has no idea who the man is. The attempted killer is taken to jail but never confesses why he made the calls or why he wanted to kill Dwight. He's eventually identified as Eric Smith, a mechanic from Harrisburg. There is no apparent connection between the man and Dwight. Dwight is left disturbed by the entire affair, unsure why a random person would hate him so much. The next day at work, Jim is wearing a shirt that says "FREE ERIC SMITH" and mugs at Dwight. "Wow, way to continue the prison-industrial complex, Dwight. Thought you hated people being unfairly jailed, but I guess it's different when it benefits you, huh?" Dwight explains that the man tried to kill him after weeks of targeted harassment. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how you people ALWAYS see these things, huh? Just because a man threatens you for days at a time, says he's gonna kill you, then breaks into your house with a weapon? Suddenly he's a criminal? Wow, Dwight, just... wow. Grow up, man." Jim begins the "FREE ERIC SMITH" campaign on GoFundMe, eventually raising almost $300,000. Jim just pockets that money for pranking supplies. When Dwight asks if that was his goal the whole time, Jim mugs at him. "Pretty much, the tough part was making sure he didn't ACTUALLY kill you. OOPS! Didn't mean to let that part slip!"
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May 26, 2022 13:08
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A rash of UFO sightings begin to pop up all over Scranton, with dozens of people reporting a "silver disc" hovering in the air for a few seconds before completely disappearing. At work, Dwight mentions that he thinks it would be "pretty cool" to see a UFO, as many people liken it to a religious experience, opening up their mind in new ways. Jim starts laughing. "Yeah, and I'll bet you want them to stick their probe up your rear end, too!" No one laughs at this, but Jim then stands up on his desk and mimes sticking a probe into someone, all the while going "Beep beep boop". When Dwight asks if he's pretending to be an alien or a robot, Jim gets flustered and sits back down. "Well, anyway, these are all swamp gas anyway, that's what I read online. There's no such thing as aliens, that goes against what the Bible says." Jim mugs for the camera. Dwight asks him where these supposed "swamps" are in Scranton, and Jim mutters something then says he has to go to the bathroom. The sightings increase over the next week, eventually numbering in the hundreds. Dwight, however, has no luck seeing one. He decides to set up a stargazing platform at Schrute Farms and devotes much of his evening to watching the skies. Finally, it happens, after 3 days of diligence. A silver disk appears in the air, flashes a green light 4 times, and then disappears. Dwight feels a euphoria rush over him - all of the stories were true. He feels as if he's become closer to the beating heart of the universe, and the experience leaves him even more empathetic and open-minded than he was before. Dwight shows up to work the next day and explains all about his experience, saying how great he feels. "Oh, I'll bet your rear end feels great, too, balloon boy!" Jim stands on his desk (again) and starts miming sticking a probe into someone (again). These time he says "i am an alien" instead of making robot noises, though. Dwight ignores this, realizing that Jim just acts out because of his terrible upbringing and insecurities about his own life. The UFO appears to Dwight the following night as well, and Dwight watches it flash its green light again. Dwight feels as if it's trying to communicate with him. Wiling to try anything, Dwight quickly grabs a flashlight and flashes it 4 times at the UFO. There's a long moment where nothing happens, then the UFO flashes back 7 times. This time the light is blue. Dwight repeats the pattern with his flashlight. This goes on for hours, eventually Dwight is flashing a complex pattern of almost 100 flashes to the UFO, which remains suspended in the air over Schrute Farms. Finally, this ends, and the UFO disappears. Dwight feels an incredible inner peace, and tells everyone at work the next day about the experience. "Yeah, and I'll bet those aliens got an inner piece of your rear end!" Jim stands on his desk and again mimes sticking a probe into someone. Calmer and more understanding than ever before, Dwight forgives Jim for this crudeness and goes about his day. The next night, the UFO appears over Schrute farms again. Dwight is ready with his flashlight. The UFO begins to glow green and seems to expand in the air, but in reality it's just getting closer and closer to Dwight. Dwight blinks and finds himself on board the UFO in a long hallway, where strange masks line the walls. On closer inspection, Dwight realizes that the masks are faces, each one looking at him with a serene calmness. Dwight heads to the end of the hallway where he finds a golden cup on a metallic table. He lifts the golden cup and a silvery fluid inside begins to swirl around. Dwight can tell he's supposed to drink the contents of the glass and brings it to his lips. The strange substance tastes like Dwight's favorite beet champagne and he can feel it going down his throat and into his stomach. A wonderful warmth spreads across his entire body, radiating outward from his stomach. In that moment, Dwight understands everything. The UFOs are psychic projections from the Beetosphere, sent to Earth to prepare humanity for the next evolution of mankind. A beautiful utopia is coming, one where everyone will live in peace and harmony forever. Dwight connects to the hive mind at the center of the Beetosphere and reaches out. It welcomes him like a mother welcoming a wayward child back home, explaining that humanity was always meant to live like this, but agents of the Prankosphere infected the Earth like a cancer and trapped people in a cycle of unending torment. Dwight is the avatar of the Beetosphere, the first agent to help usher humanity into a golden age. Dwight is eager to learn more when his connection is instantly cut off and he's rocketed back to the hallway on board the UFO. The room is now shaking, and the faces on the walls look frightened. A loud boom and the room falls away around Dwight, who finds himself back on his stargazing platform, the UFO hovering mere inches over him. Jim is now standing next to Dwight, holding a crossbow, which he continues firing at the UFO. The UFO is now glowing red, and disappears after Jim launches another crossbow into it. "William Tell me you saw that, Dwight! I just scared that UFO off, it won't be bothering you any more!" As Dwight is returned to his 3 dimensional form, the knowledge he gathered in the UFO becomes too abstract to understand and he begins to forget everything he learned of the Beetosphere and the true purpose of humanity. "No need to thank me, Dwight, I just happened to be walking by when I saw you were in danger! In danger of getting your rear end probed. Oh well, see you tomorrow at work!" Jim walks away and Dwight, left shaken by the encounter, sits in silence. The knowledge of what he saw is now slipping from his mind like sand through a sieve, and soon he will not remember anything of the encounter except for the vaguest of details. As Jim walks away, he gets a smug grin. The Beetosphere has been held at bay for a little while longer, at least. Humanity will not be making any more strides forward, not while Jim is around. The UFO is never seen in Scranton again.
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May 26, 2022 14:23
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Jim invites everyone in the office to his Gender Reveal Party. Shocked that he and Pam are having another child, Dwight attends, hoping to talk to Pam and ensure that everything is okay. At the party, Jim gathers everyone in his backyard. "Okay, folks, the big moment is here. Let's find out...." Jim tosses a match inside his house, which has been filling with methane gas for the last 2 hours. The house explodes, sending debris for miles across the quiet suburb and horribly maiming some of the party guests. Dwight's ears are ringing as he looks at the explosion, which is slightly tinted blue. Jim holds up a whiteboard with the words "IT'S A BOY" written on it. When Dwight gets out of the hospital a few days later, he asks Pam if they can handle another child. Especially now that they are living with Pam's parents, as the Halpert House and everything in it were destroyed in the explosion Jim caused. In addition, Jim is liable for massive amounts of property damage and the hospital bills of almost a dozen people. "No, you don't understand, Dwight. The party was so Jim could reveal HIS gender to everybody."
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May 26, 2022 15:03
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Dwight comes home and his heart freezes when he sees Jim crouching over Mose's body. Jim is holding a bloody power drill and clucking his tongue in disappointment. "Sorry, Dwight," says Jim. "Guess I really screwed the pooch on this one, huh?"
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May 26, 2022 15:20
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Jim pours ice on the floor and rubs his hands together in eager anticipation. He imagines Dwight walking in, slipping on the ice, sliding across the room and flying out the window into outer space. Dwight arrives at work and steps on one of the ice cubes. "Huh?" says Dwight. "Who spilled ice on the floor and didn't clean it up?" Jim mugs at the camera as Dwight gets the broom and dustpan from the closet and sweeps up the ice.
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May 26, 2022 15:23
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Jim keeps sending Dwight links to "sissy hypnosis" videos. Dwight rejects all the links unopened. "Stop sending these to me, Jim," says Dwight. "Even if I watched one it wouldn't work on me; my willpower is too strong." "Then how come you're dressed in a French maid outfit?" asks Jim, smugly. Dwight looks down and his eyes go wide with shock. The camera zooms out to reveal Dwight is wearing a French maid outfit. Dwight screams and runs out of the office. Jim explains in confessional how he did the prank. "So, you know those eggs that turn into dinosaurs when you leave them in water?" Jim begins. The image shifts to footage of Jim carrying out the prank while Jim continues in voiceover. "So I have a friend at the dinosaur egg factory who owes me a favor. He helped me replicate Dwight's outfit using the same material as the dinosaur eggs. The French maid outfit was inside. Dwight perspiration melted the Dwight outfit and the French maid outfit came out," explains Jim. (The camera shows Dwight throughout the day as his usual clothes transform gradually into a French maid costume. The other office workers give Dwight odd looks. Dwight even holds a teleconference with a very confused client.) Jim mugs at the camera.
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May 26, 2022 15:33
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In an attempt to "reboot himself", Jim shows up to work in a tweed suit and bow tie, with a closely cropped haircut and a mustache. Rainbow suspenders complete the entire look, making Jim look fundamentally different from his usual self. When asked why he's doing this, Jim says he has "no reason" and that he just felt like a change. He specifically notes that he's done pranking, as he's "ready for a new outlook on life". "Well, well, well, looks like it's Andy's time to shine! For my first prank, I think I'll shove YOUR phone in the ceiling. How do you like that one, Tuna? Maybe you'll have fun in anger management, huh? Dealing with YOUR childhood trauma from YOUR parents that don't love you, and project their own insecurities onto YOU! Haha, and then maybe YOU can realize your parents view financial exchanges as a form of love, in fact the only form of love they understand! What do you think of that, Tuna?" Suddenly, the windows of the office all explode inward, sending glass flying everywhere. Dozens of vampire bats swoop in and swarm Andy, covering his entire body. He falls to the ground, a writhing mass of bats covering every inch of his body and greedily suckling at his life force. He lets out a weak scream and then falls silent, at which point the bats disperse and fly back out the windows. Andy is left lying on the ground, dead from complete exsanguination. His pale, lifeless body sits in the middle of the floor as Jim stares. Jim slowly stands up and removes his mustache, revealed to be fake. He shakes his head and, somehow, his hair regains its floppy nature. He removes his entire outfit, revealing that he was wearing his normal clothes underneath it the entire time. "Prank-seeking vampire bats. Had to get 'em off my trail. Too bad for Andy, I guess. That really sucks!" Jim mugs for the camera.
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May 26, 2022 15:33
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Jim keeps sending Dwight links to "sissy hypnosis" videos. Dwight rejects all the links unopened. "Stop sending these to me, Jim," says Dwight. "Even if I watched one it wouldn't work on me; my willpower is too strong." "Then how come you're dressed in a French maid outfit?" asks Jim, smugly. Dwight looks down and his eyes go wide with shock. The camera zooms out to reveal Dwight is wearing a French maid outfit. Dwight screams and runs out of the office. Jim explains in confessional how he did the prank. "So early this morning I broke into Dwight's house and cut off the electricity. Dwight always gets up before sunrise so his house is pitch dark. I swapped all his clothes with French Maid outfits and he put them on without realizing," explains Jim.
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May 26, 2022 15:34
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A Fancy Hat posted:In an attempt to "reboot himself", Jim shows up to work in a tweed suit and bow tie, with a closely cropped haircut and a mustache. Rainbow suspenders complete the entire look, making Jim look fundamentally different from his usual self. lmao God dammit.
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May 26, 2022 15:35
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Jim keeps sending Dwight links to "sissy hypnosis" videos. Dwight rejects all the links unopened. "Stop sending these to me, Jim," says Dwight. "Even if I watched one it wouldn't work on me; my willpower is too strong." "Then how come you're dressed in a French maid outfit?" asks Jim, smugly. Dwight looks down and his eyes go wide with shock. The camera zooms out to reveal Dwight is wearing a French maid outfit. Dwight screams and runs out of the office. Jim explains in confessional how he did the prank. "I swapped all Dwight's clothes with French maid outfits, then swapped Dwight's bedroom mirror with a television hooked up to a camera and a computer with motion capture software. The software was programmed to digitally replace the French maid costume with Dwight's usual clothes. It worked perfectly." Jim mugs at the camera. "It's too bad the sissy hypnosis videos don't work though." The camera zooms out to reveal Jim is wearing a French maid costume.
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May 26, 2022 15:44
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A package shows up at the dinosaur egg factory and the 3rd shift manager cautiously approaches it. He notices the childlike handwriting and recognizes it immediately as belonging to Jim. "Ah man, how sweet. The french maid prank must have worked!" The man opens the box and finds a box of clown paper inside. "Well, I guess it's the thought that counts."
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May 26, 2022 15:50
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Jim replaces Dwight's stress medication with dinosaur eggs.
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May 26, 2022 16:06
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Jim takes a poo poo in Dwight’s pants. Now everyone thinks Dwight poops his pants!
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May 26, 2022 16:26
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Jim launches Super Prankio Maker, a new video game where users can create and share their own pranks online. In reality, Jim intends to steal the most popular pranks and inflict them on Dwight. "It's genius! All these amateur pranksters giving me their ideas, it's like a Thanksgiving feast of pranks! For me, Jim, the ultimate prankster!" Super Prankio Maker is released for the Google Stadia due to a long and arduous development cycle. The game ultimate sells only one copy, to Jim, who also represents nearly 10% of the Stadia player base at the time. Jim sadly uploads "FUNNY AUTOMATIC DWIGHT PRANK", only to be met with an error message that the game no longer supports online functionality. A 16-bit Jim mugs on the screen, the default error message that Jim happily coded not so long ago.
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May 26, 2022 16:57
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Jim wears a hat to work that says "FBI: Female Booty Inspector." Michael sees the hat and laughs so hard he loses his voice and can't MC at Dwight's nephew's Bar Mitzvah that evening. Jim mugs at the camera.
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May 26, 2022 17:52
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Jim cultivates a new species of carrot that's 36% floppier. "Hey Dwight, you're not the only guy who can grow his own vegetables! How's that make you feel?" Dwight says he feels overjoyed, knowing that his agricultural interests have spread to Jim. He also adds that he'd love to use his established connections to help get Jim's carrots into local food pantries, co-ops, and restaurants. An enraged Jim destroys every one of his floppy carrots, then sets fire to his backyard, where he was growing the vegetable. "Never again," he says, the flames illuminating his pallid face.
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May 26, 2022 17:56
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Jim spends the whole day talking backwards just to annoy Dwight. Jim is so committed to the bit that even when white nationalist terrorists break into the building and take everyone hostage, Jim continues to talk backwards when they ask him questions. In a rage, the terrorists shoot Meredith in the kneecap. Dwight is able to use the distraction to deploy his karate skills and take down the terrorists, but Meredith must be taken to the hospital to have her artificial leg replaced. "I'm more machine now than woman," says Meredith, gruffly before taking a swig from a bottle of wine.
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May 26, 2022 18:05
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Jim wears a hat to work that says "FBI: Female Booty Inspector." Michael sees the hat and laughs so hard he loses his voice and can't MC at Dwight's nephew's Bar Mitzvah that evening. Dwight, pleased that his nephew’s “Zionist indoctrination ceremony” was halted, sieg hiels at Jim.
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May 26, 2022 18:08
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Elon Musk and Jim decide to start a podcast, which they record in the middle of the office. Their first guest is Ben Shapiro. After overhearing Ben Shapiros whiny voice complaining about a lack of morals amongst Millennials for a solid hour, Dwight kills himself. Jim doesn’t notice because he’s really engrossed in the conversation.
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May 26, 2022 21:11
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A Fancy Hat posted:Jim walks backwards into the office. Jim walks into the office but Dwight notices a few things are off. Instead of the bare minimum of office attire (and rumpled at that), Jim is wearing a crisp 3 piece suit. His hair is fixed with gel and not floppy in the least. Instead of tennis shoes (which he often pairs with his birthday suit) he's sporting fine leather footware. "Looking good Jim," says Dwight, honestly impressed. "It's Mij, actually," replies Jim. "It's opposite day." Normally Dwight would reply that Jim would be Mij on Reverse day, not opposite day, but he is too shocked over a new revelation of the change in Jim/Mij's appearance. "Your teeth!" screams Dwight. "Where are all your teeth??" Mij grins a toothless smile. "Jim has perfect teeth Dwight. Not Mij." The camera begins to zoom in for the expected mugging but instead something new happens. Mij approaches the camera, mouth opening wider and wider, Mij growing closer and closer until only his uvula can be seen. And then- Mij gums the camera.
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May 26, 2022 21:25
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Jim gets so angry at Dwight not understanding how the Rescue Rangers movie "ruined his" (Jim's) "childhood" that Jim vows to ruin Dwight's childhood in revenge. Jim travels to Japan and buys the rights to the Konikotaka anime and reboots it as a major motion picture that compresses the entire series into an hour and ten minutes, mostly using recycled footage. The new scenes completely change the motivations and story arcs of the characters, and the ending makes no sense. Dwight points out to Jim that he first watched Konikotaka as a young adult and that even though the movie is indeed terrible and "ruins" the series in a way (though Dwight is pleased because the movie's release has spurred renewed interest in the original series), it doesn't really ruin his childhood. Jim pulls a rope attached to the ceiling and buries Dwight under 1000lbs of soiled anime body pillows.
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May 26, 2022 21:59
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Jim invites some people from the Office to his house for a Rescue Rangers movie viewing party. He invites them to come dressed in costumes of their favorite characters. Jim suggests that he (Jim) can be Magnum PI, and says to Dwight that he (Dwight) should come as Indiana Jones. Jim invites Kevin over, and gives him a blue sweater to wear under an overcoat with flight cap. Jim forces Pam to wear a jumpsuit with welding goggles. When Dwight and Kevin arrive, Pam invites them in. Looking at their costumes, Dwight suddenly realizes that Jim has tricked them into dressing up like the Rescue Rangers. "Except there's no Zipper!" shouts Jim from the next room, before opening the door and sauntering in. Dwight isn't sure if Jim means they are lacking the character Zipper, or if Jim is referring to the fact that he is dressed exactly like Dale down to the detail of having no pants on.
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May 26, 2022 22:13
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Jim's resentment of Zipper is my favorite new bit of Jim lore and totally on brand.
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May 26, 2022 22:58
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Jim goes "all out" on his vendetta against Zipper the fly, going so far as to remove the fly from all his pants and the zippers from all his clothes. Jim puts all the zippers in jello and leaves them on Dwight's porch.
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May 27, 2022 04:11
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| # ? May 29, 2024 07:21 |
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Jim offers Dwight a glass of water with a novelty plastic ice cube in it. Dwight calmly explains that due to the poor sanitation in factories making such toys, it would have been more hygienic to give him an ice cube with a real zipper frozen inside it.
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May 27, 2022 04:18
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