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Olympic Mathlete
Feb 25, 2011

:h:


:aaaaa:

https://twitter.com/wrenching_wench/status/1531193413156147200?s=20&t=JdiKLzMc6j6wfPABsrICcw

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Richard Bong
Dec 11, 2008
That looks like one of those pictures where everything is supposed to look kinda like something but it’s all nonsense and it hurts your brain.

[img] https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article14704853.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/0_Screen-Shot-2019-04-26-at-125754.png[/img]

slidebite
Nov 6, 2005

Good egg
:colbert:

wtf is a crafter?

e: nvmd - VW van

randomidiot
May 12, 2006

by Fluffdaddy

(and can't post for 11 years!)


Pfft. The bondo that fell off my $200 Civic when I got t-boned was thicker. It's fine. Fine.

I'm pretty sure the C pillar on my Vic is at least that thick too. The backside of it is absolutely destroyed to the point that the interior trim was just hot glued to the headliner. :sigh:

Olympic Mathlete
Feb 25, 2011

:h:


Reading the 'I hate cars' thread and lol notanku

emTme3 posted:

cars are stupid and evil fo sho, but what about specifically contemporary cars?

I'm bumming through life without a loving car still thankfully, but to my parents life without a car is literally unthinkable. They're leasing this brand new Subaru SUV and it's tricked out the rear end with electronic gizmos that are just as much of an IoT nightmare as they are a convenience.

There's a touchscreen in the front with a proprietary operating system that puts a massive software layer between you and the controls. Look down at your HUD? The car beeps at you to keep your eyes on the road. Nudge the line on the highway? The car autosteers you back to the center. Take a hand off the wheel to push one of your dozens of buttons? BEEP gently caress you hands on the wheel. The cruise control can auto-follow at a distance and will auto-brake all the way to a standstill with no input whatsoever - you barely have to drive it all, just steer the thing in vaguely the right direction. There are sensors and chips and wires and software stuffed all over the loving place.

The result is a tire fire of unnecessary complexity and systemic failure points. Something is always wrong with this thing, and when anything breaks so does the rest of it. I shut the door on the seatbelt accidentally once, and it killed the sensor that tells the car that the door is closed. The loving thing wouldn't drive without an override and a constant 'door ajar' signal blaring. Over a grand to fix the door. The windshield is 'smart' and has some kinda sensors hooked up to it - when that poo poo breaks more alarms and software fuckery, and they cost like 5x what a regular rear end window would to replace.

You can't just go to a regular rear end bumfuck car repair shop to fix any of this - anything that involves the software (and everything does) requires a Subaru specialist to deal with. It's not like they're gonna give their drivers root level access to the OS - the faintest hint of a glitch and it's back to the dealer for a enlightened techbro's gentle touch and an exorbitant sum.

Something in this horrific beast breaks once a month at least. You could base a calendar on the regularity of some stupid tiny gizmo in amongst the labyrinthine nest of utter bullshit crapping out and taking a bunch of other stupid gimmicks with it. If you're lucky the car might actually still be able to do car things long enough to get it back to the dealer.

I have explained all of this and why it's happening to my parents, and they still insist that the comfort and convenience are worth it.

Computers + cars. Not even once.

thread: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3975882

Wasabi the J
Jan 23, 2008

MOM WAS RIGHT
Lmao you can turn literally almost all of that off from the steering wheel in under 2 minutes.

It's also mirrored in the head unit settings.

david_a
Apr 24, 2010




Megamarm
My car has been parked outside for a bit at my parents and I saw a squirrel dart out from under it. I figured it was best to check under the hood and I was met with two unexpected guests:

No idea what drew them, the car hadn’t been started in a few days. I tried to get them out but they slithered into the engine compartment somewhere.

Later that day I didn’t see anything so I started it up. Didn’t need it that day, but when I checked today… they were back. I needed the car so I honked a few times to maybe scare them off; no idea if they slithered away while I went inside the house again.

Hopefully they didn’t get chopped up during the drive :ohdear:

BigPaddy
Jun 30, 2008

That night we performed the rite and opened the gate.
Halfway through, I went to fix us both a coke float.
By the time I got back, he'd gone insane.
Plus, he'd left the gate open and there was evil everywhere.


It is dark and warm. Perfect for them.you might have to find something that repels them without it smelling of coyote piss.

Fifty Three
Oct 29, 2007

Sick dual serpentine setup

Darchangel
Feb 12, 2009

Tell him about the blower!


bigbillystyle posted:

That happened to me this winter. There must have been a small chip at the bottom of my windshield and I was driving along the highway and I caught something moving out of the corner of my eye, was it an animal, some trash in the road? Nope. The crack just came up the center of the windshield, turned and ran right across the driver's side, like right through my field of vision. I don't think I've ever seen one form in real time like that.

I had a back windshield actually shatter once without something hitting it that I also got to witness. It wasn't a particularly cold morning so I don't know why this happened but I turned my rear defrost on and it instantly and completely cracked the entire window. It somehow stayed up, until I got out of the car and the whole thing fell into my backseat. Super fun cleaning that up.

My RX-7 did that one winter years ago. I was coming home from the train station, stopped in traffic because of ice and snow (big deal in TX) one the phone with my wife to let her know where I was, and I watched as the defroster heat shot a crack all the way across the bottom of the windshield. I described it to my wife as it happened. It's still there right now, until I get it running again and swap out the windshield.

I'm not sure whether this is awesome or terrible, leaning toward terrible. The article certainly is terrible, since they don't describe worth a poo poo how this is all happening. For one thing, I guarantee that doesn't have a Jeep CJ rear axle, as they claim. 4 lug bolts plus the axle isn't a foot wider than the car says so.
https://www.autoevolution.com/news/...ign=ae_onscroll





From what I can tell, they're using a transfer case as a V-drive, which is terrible genius. At least that cast iron lump helps balance the car. A bit.

slidebite posted:

wtf is a crafter?

e: nvmd - VW van

I am NEVER buying a VW. These people are insane. Just go look at Edd China's YT channel and the 4 episodes just trying to fix his VW van's AC.


I agree. I touch computers for a living, I like touching cars, I don't want to touch car's computers.


Wasabi the J posted:

Lmao you can turn literally almost all of that off from the steering wheel in under 2 minutes.

It's also mirrored in the head unit settings.

You can turn off the repair cost in the settings? PRO TIP!

Darchangel
Feb 12, 2009

Tell him about the blower!


Fifty Three posted:

Sick dual serpentine setup

:dadjoke:
:golfclap:

Scratch Monkey
Oct 25, 2010

👰Proč bychom se netěšili🥰když nám Pán Bůh🙌🏻zdraví dá💪?

radiator right behind the cabin with no firewall. I guess he hasn't seen that cleetus video

Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.
Nothing like a spinning u joint 1cm from your right thigh.

norton I
May 1, 2008

His Imperial Majesty Emperor Norton I

Emperor of these United States

Protector of Mexico

Wasabi the J posted:

Lmao you can turn literally almost all of that off from the steering wheel in under 2 minutes.

It's also mirrored in the head unit settings.

It sounds exactly like the crusty old men complaining about fuel injection and abs


A new Subaru Outback may have some expensive failures down the line, but they won’t be the safety systems

PeterCat
Apr 8, 2020

Believe women.

Wasabi the J posted:

Lmao you can turn literally almost all of that off from the steering wheel in under 2 minutes.

It's also mirrored in the head unit settings.

If it's like my outback you have to turn it off every time you get in the car, so I just taped over one of the sensors to turn off the driver assist permanently.

I got tired of it slamming on the brakes when someone was stopped in the center turning lane.

StormDrain
May 22, 2003

Thirteen Letter

PeterCat posted:

If it's like my outback you have to turn it off every time you get in the car, so I just taped over one of the sensors to turn off the driver assist permanently.

I got tired of it slamming on the brakes when someone was stopped in the center turning lane.

I dislike that stuff for driving personally. The lane assist in particular annoys me. On the highway I will slide to the far end of a lane when I pass someone, especially a truck. Lane keep doesn't do that and provides resistance and annoys me. Same with the cruise control distance, it's a good safe distance and the car holds it until there's no car ahead. Which is inconvenient when I pass someone, I have to get over much earlier. I'm trying to adapt to it though!

I do like the blind spot warning. Overall I like anything that's advisory and nothing that is direct control.

ihop
Jul 23, 2001
King of the Mexicans
You can override the cruise control distance by just mashing the accelerator. It won't even turn the CC off and will settle back to whatever trailing distance you have it set to when you let off.

Uthor
Jul 9, 2006

Gummy Bear Heaven ... It's where I go when the world is too mean.
The only thing that I dislike is the lane keep systems. My mom's Honda senses the shadows on the road of an underpass that I drive through fairly often as the lane markings and attempts to turn the car into the wall. I had a rental for work freak the gently caress out and do some crazy steering inputs when I hit some rain. I had a big van rental that only beeped, didn't attempt steering, but didn't shut up for an 1.5 hour drive because I liked to be slightly on the right side of the lane instead of exactly in the middle (it was a two lane road, I wasn't blocking anyone in a lane next to me).

Richard Bong
Dec 11, 2008
The Subaru auto braking saved my rear end. I was working crazy hours and spaced out near my exit and didn’t notice that the traffic had completely stopped right over a hill trying to merge in/out of the terrible 190/Mannheim interchange by O’Hare.

The braking stopped me safely. So it’s a bit of a pain in the rear end when people make right hand turns but it works in an emergency. A land of contrasts.

Large Testicles
Jun 1, 2020

[ASK] ME ABOUT MY LOVE FOR 1'S
Add all of that poo poo you're talking about plus a speed governor and that's modern semis too. Lane assist in that was actually really nice because the thing is already almost the width of a lane and they love to move about in the wind. The speed governor was the biggest pain the dick though because most company trucks have them and they're all set to about 70 (actual speed varied like +/- 1mph between trucks), meaning trying to pass another truck that had a governor was a snail race and if you're in the middle of passing all of a sudden you can be the one being passed because you're now going uphill and are the heavier truck.

gently caress the other truckers without governors who would come flying up on you at like 90 at 3am in the middle of Wyoming. Specifically you FedEx drivers.

Uthor
Jul 9, 2006

Gummy Bear Heaven ... It's where I go when the world is too mean.

Richard Bong posted:

traffic had completely stopped right over a hill trying to merge in/out of the terrible 190/Mannheim interchange by O’Hare.

The interchange where the cars from 190 and 294 merge right before the exit for Mannheim north right before the on ramp from Mannheim north right before the exit for Mannheim south with basically no merge lane and full of travelers who don't know the area?

I learned to drive around there, so it seems perfectly normal!

Edit: just looked at the map and in 1.25 miles, you have 90/190 split, River Rd on/off ramps, 294 on/off ramps with both 90 and 190, and Mannheim on/off ramps.

Uthor fucked around with this message at 19:41 on Jun 1, 2022

Safety Dance
Sep 10, 2007

Five degrees to starboard!

That part of Chicago taught me patience while driving. Traffic happens. I am in it. I cannot change this situation. I can only listen to Wait Wait on WBEZ and perservere.

Powershift
Nov 23, 2009






In Canada. Proud and free 'murica eagle flag in Canada.

Uthor
Jul 9, 2006

Gummy Bear Heaven ... It's where I go when the world is too mean.

Safety Dance posted:

That part of Chicago taught me patience while driving. Traffic happens. I am in it. I cannot change this situation. I can only listen to Wait Wait on WBEZ and perservere.

Traveling along 90 close to downtown where traffic is about 7 lanes completely stopped, especially at night when you get a nice view of the city lit up close by but far away, for me.

slidebite
Nov 6, 2005

Good egg
:colbert:

Powershift posted:


In Canada. Proud and free 'murica eagle flag in Canada.
WTF is that bottom decal supposed to be?

The number of MAGA and TRUMP bumper stickers I see in alberta is just :smith: The only good thing is between them, the FRINGE MINORITY stickers and vehicles with more than 2 flags, it makes it exceedingly easy to see who's a loving moron and a venn diagram of the above would be a circle.

OBAMNA PHONE
Aug 7, 2002

Safety Dance posted:

I can only listen to Wait Wait on WBEZ and perservere.

:suicide:

PirateDentist
Mar 28, 2006

Sailing The Seven Seas Searching For Scurvy

slidebite posted:

WTF is that bottom decal supposed to be?

“4x4” in a realtree sorta camo pattern.

slidebite
Nov 6, 2005

Good egg
:colbert:

Oh, I genuinely couldn't see it before. Thanks

StormDrain
May 22, 2003

Thirteen Letter

slidebite posted:

Oh, I genuinely couldn't see it before. Thanks

Me neither. I thought it was like a weird body or something.

Lake of Methane
Oct 29, 2011


The owner's manual would say in very small print that "HEMI" stands for "High-Energy Multipoint Ignition."

Richard Bong
Dec 11, 2008

Uthor posted:

The interchange where the cars from 190 and 294 merge right before the exit for Mannheim north right before the on ramp from Mannheim north right before the exit for Mannheim south with basically no merge lane and full of travelers who don't know the area?

I learned to drive around there, so it seems perfectly normal!

Edit: just looked at the map and in 1.25 miles, you have 90/190 split, River Rd on/off ramps, 294 on/off ramps with both 90 and 190, and Mannheim on/off ramps.

Don’t forget all the people stopped on the shoulder waiting for their loved one’s flight to get in and pulling into traffic unpredictably!

Darchangel
Feb 12, 2009

Tell him about the blower!


Powershift posted:





In Canada. Proud and free 'murica eagle flag in Canada.

Apparently they *really* want you to know it's a 4x4, too. Despite the wing.

wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Darchangel posted:

Apparently they *really* want you to know it's a 4x4, too. Despite the wing.

NO THEY DON"T.

If they did, why would the fore ex fore script be in CAMO?

:smuggo:

buttcrackmenace
Nov 14, 2007

see its right there in the manual where it says
Grimey Drawer

PirateDentist posted:

“4x4” in a realtree sorta camo pattern.

it's super effective

Snowy
Oct 6, 2010

A man whose blood
Is very snow-broth;
One who never feels
The wanton stings and
Motions of the sense







slidebite
Nov 6, 2005

Good egg
:colbert:

https://www.local10.com/news/local/2022/06/03/police-woman-performing-oral-sex-on-driver-causes-vehicle-crash-into-fedex-truck/

quote:

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. – Two people inside an SUV were discovered naked after a crash between the vehicle and a FedEx truck Thursday evening and it’s what was going on inside that may have caused the collision, according to officials.

At the time of the crash, the woman inside the SUV was performing oral sex on the male driver, according to Fort Lauderdale Fire Rescue who responded to the scene.

The crash happened at North Ocean Boulevard and 19th Street around 6:49 p.m.

There were two people inside the FedEx truck but their injuries were minor.

The driver of the SUV sustained injuries to his private area due to what was going on at the time of the crash, according to FLFR.

It’s unclear whether anyone will be charged in the crash.
Road head strikes again

JPrime
Jul 4, 2007

tales of derring-do, bad and good luck tales!
College Slice
florida man, florida man
getting head in a passing van

GD_American
Jul 21, 2004

LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY AS IT'S INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT!
Boy reading that URL first sure turns it into a different story

Midjack
Dec 24, 2007




Gotta go, my van pool is here.

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MrYenko
Jun 18, 2012

#2 isn't ALWAYS bad...


This is about as Fort Lauderdale as a news article can get.

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