r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

I don�t even understand how someone could be embarrassed about their 6yo daughter being into a Disney character, especially a non-princess one. We took our kids to Disneyland and my 12 year old was devastated that the gift shop did not sell Isabella dresses in adult sizes.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 07:38

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# ? May 31, 2024 00:02

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Lottery of Babylon posted:

Didn't they make tons and tons of merch for Isabella because she's the most classical Disney princess-like character in the movie, and they didn't realize Luisa would be so popular?

And what does "uncomfortably recent" mean?

My google search of "isabella encanto dress" shows at least 3 pictures of princess dresses for 6 year olds.

And "uncomfortably recent" means "kids like it, not Disney adults. So my judgemental family will not have heard of it and thus will declare me to be unhip."

And seriously, even if you allow for not making the whole party an Isabella party. Not letting a 6 year old dress as the princess of her choice at a explicit Princess themed party is hosed up. Especially for the "my parents wont know who that is and I will be embarrassed."

How this works in normal life is clueless granddad sees his granddaughter dressed as a pretty princess, of whom he knows not the name. He leans down and says "You look beautiful sweetie. Who are you supposed to be?" And the 6 year old then tells her grandad all about her favourite princess and the grandfather says "That sounds wonderful" having not listened to or understood a word. But still loving his granddaughter.

Everybody is happy. Except for mum fuming and dying of embarrassment for ... some reason.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 07:38

DeadMansSuspenders: Jan 10, 2012; I wanna be your left hand man

teen witch posted:

AITA for not letting my daughter choose the theme for her birthday party?

Mom: who the gently caress is talking about Bruno? No no no

The story is a bit silly based on the mom's reasoning of course. Though I will say "Quira" is a new spelling of that name that I haven't seen before. I thought Ceire was an uncommon enough variation.

Also I really liked the story about finding the cute notes from the coworker :3:

especially the reveal he kept them :kimchi:

# ? Jun 17, 2022 07:43

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

teen witch posted:

AITA for not letting my daughter choose the theme for her birthday party?

Mom: who the gently caress is talking about Bruno? No no no

Y'all sleeping on that top tier second spoiler, lmao

# ? Jun 17, 2022 07:46

DeadMansSuspenders: Jan 10, 2012; I wanna be your left hand man

I 36M just found out my GF of almost two years is 44F; she originally told me she was 37F. Looking for perspective.

quote:

The title says it. Just found out my GF is ~7 years older than she had originally told me. It wasn't ambiguous; this was not a misunderstanding. She explicitly said she was born about 9months before me and gave me a specific date for her birthday close to when we first met and just yesterday told me that was a lie. She said it after I asked for her birthday to file some official papers. Her justification was that b/c we met online that she never thought I would turn into something serious but things just snowballed from there and now...well here we are.

I kind of thought this was going to be it and I was so ecstatic to feel like I finally hit it off with someone that I truly meshed with but now I'm at a loss and don't have an idea of where to go from here. I feel like any issues I have with her age alone - like can we have kids - might be surmountable but I can't shake the feeling that I'm going to be wondering, "what else don't I know?" for the rest of my life.

I'm not expecting Reddit to make a decision like this for me but perspective would be very much appreciated. For now, I just told her that ultimately I'm happy she came clean but that she needs to give me some space to process.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 07:57

DeadMansSuspenders: Jan 10, 2012; I wanna be your left hand man

My [23F] boyfriend [25 M] of 3 years has a problem while playing his video games.

quote:

Hey guys. Throwaway for obvious reasons, and some details are changed(slightly) for privacy. This is probably going to sound ridiculous but here it goes.

My boyfriend (Matt) and I have been together for 3 years, and we have known one another for 5 years. I moved in with him about 3 months ago. The relationship is great! Whenever we have an argument, we talk it out. We do small things for each other without the other one having to ask. We enjoy doing everything together. He is my best friend and right now I honestly can't imagine my life without him in it. I think he feels the same way.

Matt loves to game. I have no problems with this, as I myself enjoy video games and this was one of the things that initially got us interested in one another. HOWEVER... he can be extremely passionate about his games. He's mentioned wanting to go to gaming tournaments in the past, but as far as I know he's never actually been to one.

A little while after moving in with him, I got sick at work one day and came home early. He was off that day, and was playing his Xbox One with his headphones on. I guess he didn't hear me come in, but I didn't want to disturb him so I went to the bedroom to lie down.

Not half an hour later I hear screaming. And not just a frustrated "I-broke-my-favorite-mug" type of screaming. I'm talking full-blown, "I-just-saw-my-loved-one-brutally-murdered-with-an-axe" type screaming. I jumped up and raced to the living room. Matt was lying on the floor, on his side, shaking. He started screaming again (oh my god I can still hear it) and I freaked out. I grabbed my phone and started dialing 911. I thought he was having a loving seizure from playing the video game. My hands were shaking so bad.

Then suddenly he sat up and looked absolutely mortified because he saw I was standing over him. He asked what I was doing home. I dropped the phone and hugged him and almost started crying. After the initial shock, I asked him if he remembered what happened. He told me that he was angry because of something that happened on the game, so of course I asked if he was joking. His said he wasn't, and the look on his face told me he was being truthful.

I could tell it was embarrassing for him so I didn't push further. Everyone has a breaking point, and I assumed that this was just one of those days and it just happened to be a video game that pushed him over the edge. We went about our day like nothing happened. Weeks passed and eventually I nearly forgot about the incident.

Then it happened again yesterday. And again, it terrified the poo poo out of me. Again, he assured me he was only angry at the game. Also again, he looked very embarrassed so I didn't push discussion further.

Reddit, I think that my boyfriend is having tantrums over a video game. I pretty much just moved in and this has happened twice because he thought I wasn't home. Now I'm certain that it happens a lot more when I'm not around. I don't think suggesting him to stop playing is a good idea, but if the game is making him that angry, I'm starting to question why he plays it. Yes, it was the same game both times.

Does anyone else have any experience with a situation like this? I'd appreciate any input and outside opinion. I'm concerned at this point but I don't know how to go about talking about it.

Thank you for reading.

TL;DR: I moved in with my boyfriend about 3 months ago. He seems to be having tantrums while playing a video game. How should I approach this without it being too embarrassing for him?

# ? Jun 17, 2022 08:05

boofhead: Feb 18, 2021

Definitely getting an unreliable narrator vibe here. Only logical explanation is that OP is lying about dating a 25 year old and she's actually just babysitting three 8 year olds in a trenchcoat

# ? Jun 17, 2022 08:40

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

CharlestheHammer posted:

Havocs real name is Alex tho

no, kunio

# ? Jun 17, 2022 09:00

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Foo Diddley posted:

no, kunio

You mean Crash?

# ? Jun 17, 2022 10:06

Irisi: Feb 18, 2009

Lottery of Babylon posted:

Didn't they make tons and tons of merch for Isabela because she's the most classical Disney princess-like character in the movie, and they didn't realize Luisa would be so popular?

And what does "uncomfortably recent" mean?

I'm getting strong feelings that "uncomfortably recent" means "uncomfortably modern" and in my experience that means "I'm uncomfortable with the fact Disney has non-white main characters these days". Heaven forbid your child want to dress up like the pretty Colombian girl with magical flower-growing abilities.

Anyway, if this is real, she sounds more than a bit psychologically unstable, who the gently caress thinks a good reaction to your daughters' unhappiness over a birthday party is to fake a loving seizure? I guarantee everyone left not thinking about the Disney-theming, but about how much of a loonball the writer is.

And that poor child, I hope the grandmother can give her an Encanto themed birthday party where the mother is not invited and they all sing a lovely song about how much We Don't Talk About Mommy, No, No, No...

# ? Jun 17, 2022 10:27

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

My [23F] boyfriend [25 M] of 3 years has a problem while playing his video games.

gonna need to know the game to judge

# ? Jun 17, 2022 10:53

MisterOblivious: Mar 17, 2010; by sebmojo

the holy poopacy posted:

every once in a while I think of the goon who was flabbergasted to discover that other people actually could, to some degree, control what comes out of your butt. just completely mindblown conceptually by the idea of holding in a fart.

Invisible Clergy posted:

Was he the guy who wouldn't stop eating cheese and farted so stinky everyone else working in his auto shop ran away from him, or was that someone else?

I worked with a guy that was lactose intolerant and didn't give a single gently caress. Thank god I didn't work near him in the machine shop. He would eat a cheesy omelette every morning and just stink the gently caress out of his work area. He thought making GBS threads himself was loving hilarious and would regularly tell us about all the times he poo poo himself when he couldn't get to a toilet in time.

He thought that consuming lactose, knowing they he was lactose intolerant, and making GBS threads himself because of it was loving hilarious.

It was 100% preventable. He would rather poo poo his pants rather than stop eating dairy. This went on for the 6'ish years I worked there. It wasn't a one time thing.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 11:50

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

My [23F] boyfriend [25 M] of 3 years has a problem while playing his video games.

At least OP says he looked embarrassed so there might be hope it's just a weird neckbeard habit he acquired from too many nights alone in his room.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 11:54

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

there was an update

[Update]My [23F] boyfriend [25 M] of 3 years has a problem while playing his video games.

quote:

OP here TL;DR of OP: I moved in with my boyfriend about 3 months ago. He seems to be having tantrums while playing a video game. How should I approach this without it being too embarrassing for him?

Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond! I didn't have the time to reply to each and every one of you, but rest assured I did read all of your comments.

To answer a question that I am sure was on everyone's mind (without going into more detail) we live far enough away from any neighbors that may also freak out at the screaming and call the cops.

On to the update.

I wasn't able to speak to Matt about his "problem" the day I wrote my last post because he seemed extra tired when he came home from work and went straight to bed. He rarely does such a thing and I got worried again.

Well reddit, the next day he actually approached me to speak about his "tantrums".

The very first thing Matt did was apologize. The long and short of it is he never gets to do this kind of stuff when he's frustrated at more important things that happen in everyday life, especially not around others. He enjoys his games and they actually give him an "excuse" to "lose control" and scream when he loses or performs badly. He is able to let everything out by losing himself in a screaming fit, then go back to being a working, level-headed and responsible adult. The fact that he only let his tantrums out when he thought I wasn't home shows that he is pretty in control of his reactions to the game. He just didn't want to subject anyone to his outbursts, so he does it in private. A few of you called it.

He has been doing this pretty much the day he moved out from his parent's place.

Matt was too embarrassed to admit or explain anything the first time he scared me, and I totally get why. I understand why he didn't tell me right away when I moved in. Of course it would be strange to welcome me (or anyone else for that matter) into his home with an introduction such as "shoes go here, coat can hang here, the bathroom is down the hall to the right, and every so often I will scream bloody murder and throw a fit while playing competitive games." We both agreed that if I come home early for any reason, I am to let him know so he doesn't "lose himself" screaming and shaking again and scare the poo poo out of me.

Monday we were both off from work. We had a barbecue, a few drinks, and other things couples do. Then he went to play a few games of Overwatch. I gave him a pass that day if he decided he wanted to throw a fit, and yes he did take advantage of that, Jesus Christ! I put in my earbuds and listened to music a few rooms over until he was done playing.

I think I'll be fine with this as long as he does it on his own or sticks to the days I give him a pass on the screaming.

I have to say I feel a lot better knowing where he's coming from. Matt feels better as well now that I know about his outbursts.

TL;DR: Matt is actually in control of his outbursts and uses games as an excuse to "lose himself" and go crazy. He only had tantrums in private because he realized no one wants to hear that poo poo. We decided that he should always be notified when I show up unexpectedly.

EDIT: Thank you for your input everyone!

I wasn't sure if this was clear or not, but he is not screaming AT anyone on the game. He isn't screaming profanities at kids. I realize I didn't mention it but he actually mutes his microphone when he's playing with "randos". He only uses the headset because he enjoys the sound aspect of games (It's a nice Turtle Beach headset). He does not scream when he plays with his friends. He does not NEED to do this everyday.

I don't feel like he's a deeply angry person like some of you suggest. If you ever got to know him, you'd understand what I mean. I get that this is strange to most of you and obviously not socially acceptable. Other situations give us more socially acceptable reasons to scream, like riding on a roller coaster or sporting events. He just decides to scream in private sometimes.

I also see that "he has been doing this since he left his parents' house" can be misleading. Sorry about that. I meant that Matt started around the time he left, not that he's screamed his head off every single day since he moved out.

I realize I can't give an update on this several months from now, but I wouldn't stay in an unhealthy, abusive relationship if that's what it turns out to be.

Thanks for reading.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 11:56

DoctorWhat: Nov 18, 2011; A little privacy, please?

As a former Gamer Rage Ghoul what the boyfriend needs to do is go to a fighting game local, make everyone miserable, and get banned for a month for raging. Then if he doesn't improve, dump him.

Or dump him now.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 12:15

PancakeTransmission: May 27, 2007; You gotta improvise, Lisa: cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust...; Plaster Town Cop

Mx. posted:

there was an update

[Update]My [23F] boyfriend [25 M] of 3 years has a problem while playing his video games.

nah sorry that's still weird and manchildish

# ? Jun 17, 2022 12:16

John Murdoch: May 19, 2009; I can tune a fish.

Irisi posted:

I'm getting strong feelings that "uncomfortably recent" means "uncomfortably modern" and in my experience that means "I'm uncomfortable with the fact Disney has non-white main characters these days". Heaven forbid your child want to dress up like the pretty Colombian girl with magical flower-growing abilities.

That's where my mind went too. Describing a recent Disney move of all things as "obscure" also reads as "well I certainly don't watch any of those, y'know, ethnic films" in that context.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 12:21

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

One for the 'soon to be estranged parents' files. Paragraph breaks added.

Slowly resenting my mom

quote:

Im 23 F and my mom is 39 F.

My mom had me at a young age clearly, however despite all this, she continued on with school, has a PhD and is very well established in her career. Sometimes I feel like I give my mom too many passes or see her in a greater light than she sees me because of all the sacrifices she�s made for my brother (18 M) and I. How this starts off: I�m openly Lesbian, I�ve known this for awhile, middle school even.

Due to the relationship I�ve had with my mother (pretty much strictly mother/daughter) I didn�t and still don�t involve her much in my personal life as well as romantic. December 2020, to make a long story short, she basically forced me to come out to her. There was a whole bunch of yelling on her part and her saying she always wanted me to have kids, get married, etc. from that day forward, truthfully, I don�t think I ever got over the way she made me feel. On top of that, she�s always making comments like �oh I know you�re not that feminine but��, oh �you know you�re still a woman so you still need to��. For context, I am not masculine presenting but I am also not into pink and dresses, the �girly� things. I�m very simple, tee shirt and jeans.

I feel like no matter what I do, no matter how successful I am and my number of accomplishments, I�ll never be up to her standards because I�m gay. This really takes a toll on me and it�s gotten to the point where any time my mom says something about the way I dress or the way I act or me being gay I get triggered and I literally just cry. And then she says �see here we go� whenever I start crying and she�s just overall very dismissive of my feelings. I�m graduating with my Bachelors AND my Masters in may ( 5 year program) so due to me being in school, my mom has given me a place to live and I don�t pay any bills other than my ortho bill and my phone bill.

Im to the point where I just want to get the hell out, it�s unhealthy and I feel disrespected and unappreciated. I don�t want to be around my mother any longer. I don�t want any parts of a relationship with her. I have done everything she�s asked of me, I have accomplished so much and yet I feel like I�m never good enough for her because I have a gf. I feel so drained being around her and I�m not able to express it because black parents take everything as a sign of disrespect. I�m just getting started in my career field so my pay is decent but could be better. I�m looking into just taking the leap and applying to better jobs within the field just so I can get out of here. I�m so sad and I just feel so unheard. I just wanna move away and never have to deal with this anymore even if that means her not being in my life any longer. Im ready to be ME and HAPPY and that won�t happen as long as she�s around me.

TLDR: My mom makes me feel bad for being gay.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 12:21

keep punching joe: Jan 22, 2006; Die Satan!

Uncomfortably recent i.e. Not a WASP

# ? Jun 17, 2022 12:37

Woodchip: Mar 28, 2010

I am a 36 [M] dating a 34 [F]. How long before we start discussing how to combine our lives and start a family?

quote:

So we've been dating a couple of months, but we have known each other a long time as friends.

We both want to start a family, but there are some differences in priorities and pace of life.

I live in a big city, I have a big city job that requires me to be here.

She works a job that is in a distant suburb and lives in a rural area.

We both have similar political views.

However, she is religious and I am really not.

She makes more money than me, but I am sort of a modern aristocrat. I come from a well-off family and I have many privileges.

I'm kind of a fail son though. I guess I make okay money but nothing compared to my siblings and parents. I get a lot of things free. I went through a period of refusing that out of some sense of honor but eventually it just felt stupid.

I don't know how much money she has. I think she spends a lot on things I don't. Like fancy car payments for example.

I think she should sell the huge house and the fancy cars. That's just my opinion. Life is all about priorities.

I want to have a family, I don't see any point in being with a woman if she doesn't want that. I made this clear in the first few dates.

Things are getting so intense between us now. I just wonder when we should discuss the kid thing. How long do you wait?

---
**tl;dr**: How long to people wait before discussing a family and combining lives?

# ? Jun 17, 2022 13:03

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

I think if you rage at video games you should be roles from society for a few years for deep, rehabilitative therapy and then released back into the wild. That guy clearly needs ot so bad and his girlfriend should never have to put up with that.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 13:05

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

I took "uncomfortably recent" to mean "you know how the new Disney movies are all woke now with the Mexican princesses and boys holding hands"

And regarding the deaf employee earlier, plenty of people seem to forget or not even know that a complete loss of hearing doesn't mean you can't feel vibrations and shockwaves and where they're coming from.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 13:13

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

I think the point was he doesn't rage at videogames, he vents through video games. Instead of going out to chop wood or swing in a batting cage or walk off into the trackless wastes he loads up fortnite and screams to god about spawn campers or whatever I don't play fortnite.

I think it's interesting that he sees getting mad at computer games as the only avaliable/"acceptable" outlet for frustration. We live in a society etc

Splicer fucked around with this message at 13:18 on Jun 17, 2022

# ? Jun 17, 2022 13:15

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Woodchip posted:

I am a 36 [M] dating a 34 [F]. How long before we start discussing how to combine our lives and start a family?

quote:
She makes more money than me, but I am sort of a modern aristocrat. I come from a well-off family and I have many privileges.

this dude must be an incredible level of failson to have "many privileges" worth noting that his moneymaking wife does not have

# ? Jun 17, 2022 13:19

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

I imagine him doing the Curly floor spin while screaming himself hoarse, still wearing his headset.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 13:20

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Splicer posted:

I think the point was he doesn't rage at videogames, he vents through video games. Instead of going out to chop wood or swing in a batting cage or walk off into the trackless wastes he loads up fortnite and screams to god about spawn campers or whatever I don't play fortnite.

I think it's interesting that he sees getting mad at computer games as the only avaliable/"acceptable" outlet for frustration. We live in a society etc

# ? Jun 17, 2022 13:20

Jokerpilled Drudge: Jan 27, 2010; by Pragmatica

hope the guy gets therapy because habitually howling in rage is definitely making things worse on himself

# ? Jun 17, 2022 13:28

AngryRobotsInc: Aug 2, 2011

I suppose I feel slightly more charitable toward video game rage guy because as an adult on the spectrum, I had to find acceptable outlets for my meltdowns. Through therapy and whatnot, they're not an all the time thing anymore, but they still happen on occasion, and I absolutely had to learn that Freaking The gently caress Out is generally not acceptable in society, and find ways to let it out in more acceptable or private ways.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 13:37

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

give him something to scream about, maybe get an airsoft gun and pelt him whenever he gets started

# ? Jun 17, 2022 13:39

Fil5000: Jun 23, 2003; HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

Woodchip posted:

I am a 36 [M] dating a 34 [F]. How long before we start discussing how to combine our lives and start a family?

This guy is a horrific weenie and I despise him just for the "I am a modern aristocrat" part. I loathe him for tacking "That's just my opinion" on to his notion that his girlfriend should get rid of the things she own that make him feel emasculated.

Never have the family conversation, break up with her and walk into the sea.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 13:58

B-Rock452: Jan 6, 2005

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I imagine him doing the Curly floor spin while screaming himself hoarse, still wearing his headset.

I wish the curly floor spin would make a comeback. So underrated.

Also really don't see too much of an issue with video game guy. Plenty of men and women go rage out at the gym as an outlet, dude just found something that works for him

# ? Jun 17, 2022 13:59

house of the dad: Jul 4, 2005

B-Rock452 posted:

I wish the curly floor spin would make a comeback. So underrated.

Also really don't see too much of an issue with video game guy. Plenty of men and women go rage out at the gym as an outlet, dude just found something that works for him

It�s because it�s video games and the thread is a heat-seeking missile for things it considers �manchild� behavior. I don�t think it�s a healthy way to process feelings but he explained what�s going on and they have an arrangement. That�s terrible!

# ? Jun 17, 2022 14:07

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

B-Rock452 posted:

I wish the curly floor spin would make a comeback. So underrated.

Also really don't see too much of an issue with video game guy. Plenty of men and women go rage out at the gym as an outlet, dude just found something that works for him

Gym screamers should be neither normalized or tolerated.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 14:10

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

# ? Jun 17, 2022 14:12

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Is a modern aristocrat someone who isn't wealthy enough to be rich but not poor enough not to have a housekeeper or maid per kid?

# ? Jun 17, 2022 14:13

B-Rock452: Jan 6, 2005

The Bramble posted:

Gym screamers should be neither normalized or tolerated.

Work out at planet fitness if it bothers you

# ? Jun 17, 2022 14:25

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

BrigadierSensible posted:

And "uncomfortably recent" means "kids like it, not Disney adults. So my judgemental family will not have heard of it and thus will declare me to be unhip."

You say that, but both her mom and the other parents laid into her for loving up the party, so that's definitely a lie to obscure her actual problem.

What her actual problem is isn't entirely clear, other than it must be something real stupid. Her claim that it is too "modern" meaning "too woke/contains ethnic characters" seems like the safest bet.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 14:38