Bitcoin: no angel investors, only Faustian bargains

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Bitcoin: no angel investors, only Faustian bargains

William Henry Hairytaint: Oct 29, 2011

Cowcaster posted:

pretty sure they're being kept afloat by the money printer that is final fantasy xiv, their subscription based mmo that unseated world of warcraft as the biggest mmo in the world like, 2 years ago. it's basically their fortnite

It's a pretty good game I was subbed for a few months.

I played a catboy.

# ? Jun 23, 2022 22:35

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 00:49

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

PITY BONER posted:

https://opensea.io/collection/cryptopainter

Big OG energy right here.

not even sure what to say about this one. at a minimum his digital art work is terrible and he has zero grasp on the concept of matching lighting.

LOL, I just got it for FREE

holy poo poo all of this artwork is...special

LifeSunDeath fucked around with this message at 22:41 on Jun 23, 2022

# ? Jun 23, 2022 22:38

Rad Russian: Aug 15, 2007; Soviet Power Supreme!

LifeSunDeath posted:

LOL, I just got it for FREE

holy poo poo all of this artwork is...special

Look at the history. He minted 10 copies of this lovely photoshop jpeg and sold ALL 10. I think the bigger idiots are the people buying these. I dunno if he's smart enough or connected enough to launder money with these sales, so these could be actual idiot buyers.

SA would have made thousands of millionaires if NFTs were around back in 2005. Sell each lovely photoshop for $2000-3000 dollars x 10 or however many you mint.

Rad Russian fucked around with this message at 23:03 on Jun 23, 2022

# ? Jun 23, 2022 22:58

Mimesweeper: Mar 11, 2009; Smellrose

oh cool art about how black people are monkey drug dealers, from the crypto ape token guy. imagine that

# ? Jun 23, 2022 23:46

fullroundaction: Apr 20, 2007; Drink beer every day

Remember the old photoshop battle rivalries between us, fark, and worth1000? Good times.

Collectively none us could even come up anything worse or dumber than the �art�posted in this thread every day.

# ? Jun 23, 2022 23:52

Agents are GO!: Dec 29, 2004

Zil posted:

How many wallet stealer QR codes do you think are on this sign?

All of them, it just depends how blatant they are about it.

# ? Jun 23, 2022 23:59

PITY BONER: Oct 18, 2021

LifeSunDeath posted:

holy poo poo all of this artwork is...special

His recent thread is also very special and not all like something a teenager would make in Gimp.

https://twitter.com/painter_crypto/status/1503374015246704642

Rad Russian posted:

Look at the history. He minted 10 copies of this lovely photoshop jpeg and sold ALL 10. I think the bigger idiots are the people buying these. I dunno if he's smart enough or connected enough to launder money with these sales, so these could be actual idiot buyers.

SA would have made thousands of millionaires if NFTs were around back in 2005. Sell each lovely photoshop for $2000-3000 dollars x 10 or however many you mint.

Looking through his account, he does appear to be "OG" in the sense that he got in early on selling super lovely jpegs to people for high prices and actually getting enough takers to have the appearance of a lavish lifestyle. How much of that is paid for by his parents, we don't know, but it appears to have paid off. I agree that SA Photoshop Phriday posters, had NFTs been around back then, would have jumped right on the easy cash train. Who wouldn't want to earn rent money for 10 minutes of clicking? The difference with this OG APE fellow is that he's smoking his own supply and is deeply up his own rear end about his importance and image because of also being a crypto-NFT grifter.

# ? Jun 24, 2022 00:11

Macichne Leainig: Jul 26, 2012; by VG

Is he saying Caravaggio is an inspiration or something? I don't really see it. His art, like all art that comes out of crypto, still sucks.

# ? Jun 24, 2022 00:42

notwithoutmyanus: Mar 17, 2009

Booyah- posted:

oh right I almost forgot about this:

you told someone to put 80% of their net worth (something like 700k or more iirc) into a lovely Celsius-like exchange. Just because you put it in as USD doesn't mean it's more safe than whatever else nexo is doing to prop up their returns.

also nexo might be in trouble just like BlockFi as the others

https://twitter.com/Cryptadamist/status/1539681956455120898

It was better than what they were proposing, although in hindsight risk is obviously pretty significant akin to Celsius. Nexo is not Celsius but they didn't seem inclined to put it into logical poo poo, I think they just wanted to spend it on a house which was stupid given they had paying jobs and were almost at the income they wanted. Dividend stocks would have been completely fine too. I've been shorting rises this whole time, and almost nothing has changed market wise. We will still easily see 14, it's just a question of when. I could still be wrong too, but time will tell.

https://twitter.com/zachxbt/status/1540113097402322945?t=6OVOa43n2RsYZVvm7JYXTg&s=19
looks like more fun ahead.

notwithoutmyanus fucked around with this message at 01:00 on Jun 24, 2022

# ? Jun 24, 2022 00:56

Astrochicken: Aug 13, 2007; So you better go back to your bars, your temples
Your massage parlors!

These new apes are disgraceful.

# ? Jun 24, 2022 00:58

This Is the Zodiac: Feb 4, 2003

Strong Sauce posted:

ape fest more like.. fat pees.

eet faps

# ? Jun 24, 2022 01:09

Strong Sauce: Jul 2, 2003; You know I am not really your father.

# ? Jun 24, 2022 01:18

Blotto_Otter: Aug 16, 2013

notwithoutmyanus posted:

although in hindsight risk is obviously pretty significant akin to Celsius. Nexo is not Celsius but they didn't seem inclined to put it into logical poo poo,

# ? Jun 24, 2022 01:19

Agents are GO!: Dec 29, 2004

Astrochicken posted:

These new apes are disgraceful.

Nouveaux singes are always so crass. :lofty:

# ? Jun 24, 2022 01:44

drk: Jan 16, 2005

Strong Sauce posted:

goodnight moon.jpg

(stolen from what is I hope a satirical project)

# ? Jun 24, 2022 01:44

Agents are GO!: Dec 29, 2004

This Is the Zodiac posted:

eet faps

Safe pet.

# ? Jun 24, 2022 01:45

This Is the Zodiac: Feb 4, 2003

Feet sap?

# ? Jun 24, 2022 01:49

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

quote:

�This Is a Great Time To Buy�: NFT.NYC Attendees See Opportunity In Crypto Chaos
Everyone, crypto enthusiasts gathered in Times Square agreed, is going to make it.

By Maxwell Strachan
23 June 2022, 11:00pm

Even by the standards of a Times Square conference, NFT.NYC feels chaotic. Inside the New York Marriott Marquis, thousands of lovers of Bored Apes and cartoon Doodles rush by one another, up and down escalators, although it isn�t always clear in search of what. Ravers dance in the lobby and a marching band plays on the floor above. People don T-Shirts that exclaim �Satoshi is a female,� baseball caps that warn �This is not financial advice,� and stickers that read �WAGMI��the crypto-friendly acronym for the rallying cry �We're all gonna make it.� (�PLEASE DO NOT PUT STICKERS ON WATER COOLERS,� ownership states throughout the premises.)

Whether they will all make it remains a matter of debate. Outside the walls of the conference, the broader cryptocurrency economy is grappling with a string of injuries, controversies, and embarrassments. Bitcoin and Ethereum have crashed. Stablecoins suddenly don�t seem so stable. The $10 billion crypto hedge fund Three Arrows Capital made overleveraged bets so catastrophic that it now threatens the financial stability of its associated lenders. A broader inflationary crisis has led to rising interest rates, emergency plans to reduce national gas prices, and whispers of recession.

Ignore all that though, at least for this week, according to the promotional materials made available in Midtown Manhattan �f#%k the bear. we are hiring,� the decentralized app store DappRadar exclaims in cards made readily available throughout the conference. Say what you will, but it does not feel like a bear market�a period of pessimism and low prices�here, amid a Snoop Dogg impersonator called Doop Snogg, people roleplaying as gibbering goblins, and the dystopian scene of a crowd of people practicing yoga in Times Square surrounded by glaring ads for JPEGs that cost as much as a house (the yoga was not affiliated with the conference).

Nevertheless, attendees told Motherboard that the shaken economic confidence of the American people provided an opportunity to a savvy investor.

�This is a great time to buy,� says Max Dauer, a 28-year-old life coach. Dauer says that while people are not ignoring the bear market inside the conference, �nobody's thinking this is the end of the line.� He personally hopes to use the downturn to swoop up some MFers NFTs �now that the prices have kind of calmed down a bit.�

�When we see dips like this, it's a beautiful opportunity to step back and say, �Okay, where is the opportunity today?�� Dauer says.

�It's a good time to buy right now,� agreed Ashwin, a 34-year-old digital artist and UX designer who owns several NFTs himself but declined to give his last name.

Eternal optimism emanates outward from NFT.NYC. Ostensibly, the core reasons for attending are the art and the sense of belonging, although not necessarily in that order. But while both are on display here and there, including in numerous elaborate paintings of NFTs and the obligatory panelist preaching collaboration over competition, make no mistake: This is capitalism rebranded as community. Numerous overheard conversations involved people discussing their rarest NFTs or how many investors are interestested in a given project. Broadway is stuffed full of images of animated NFTs like those of the Toxic Skull Club, and proud digital artists take turns posing for photos as their hard work sits above the Nasdaq logo, as well as that of the digital art market SuperRare�s.

It is hard not to feel happy for any artist who can make a living these days. Less sympathy goes to the �crypto watch� company that bills itself as �the first smart wearable NFT� and enlists a horde of (presumably paid) people to shout �Whose skin? Watch Skins!� in a pseudo-protest on the sidewalk while holding signs that plead with attendees to �JOIN OUR DISCORD.�

Nearby, a truck emblazoned with a Bored Ape invites passersby to take a cookie in exchange for scanning a barcode. When this Motherboard reporter does as instructed, the cookie holder says she cannot turn over the cookie until I scroll to the bottom and click the Twitter icon, which takes me to the profile page of the Twitter user @tayl0rwtf, owner of Cryptopunk #9439. She then insists I have to follow the account (for a cookie).

Back inside the New York Marriott Marquis, startups hawk innovations that include turning �any screen into an NFT display��ignoring that, well, any screen is already an NFT display�a �members only real estate investment club,� and a metaverse registration for people�s real-life cats and dogs. (�Purchase records to authenticate human family,� the accompanying brochure suggests.) One play-to-earn game inspired by the fictional Frankenstein's monster highlights as proof of its legitimacy that it was in ownership of four entire Cryptopunks, and a group of men and women donning Stripperville.io T-shirts (tagline: ��where your Stripper NFTs earn $STRIP Coin for you!�) waltz around the premises. One representative for a project even bills itself as �The World�s First Pet Insurance DAO,� telling Motherboard that community members choose how to use the profits, though disappointingly, the insurance itself is not different from that on offer by the imperfect and decidedly un-Web3 pre-existing competition.

Deeper into the convention, the engrossing image of Gustav Klimt's painting �The Kiss" appears. I wonder what that is doing amongst the cartoon apes, and Markus Wiesenhofer of the Belvedere museum in Vienna, where the original Klimt masterpiece is located, says that the museum had struggled with attendance as a result of lockdowns related to the COVID-19 pandemic, which inspired those involved to engage with Web3 and blockchain technologies. While the physical painting is owned by the Republic of Austria�and will �never be sold,� Wiesenhofer adds�the museum has digitally separated the painting into 10,000 distinct tiles and begun to sell them off as individualized NFTs. (�They're very different and you have a gamified way to obtain it,� Wiesenhofer says.)

There is a never-ending number of panels on offer, but they feel like something of an afterthought, secondary to the mingling and free food. At a summit put on by the metaverse company The Sandbox, staff have to ask the audience to quiet down as a professor speaks about the economic significance of Snoop Dogg�s interest in NFTs. DJs play to empty dance floors and hip-hop artists perform in front of unenthusiastic crowds who sit in chairs, focused on their phones. One flier meets attendees where they seem to feel most comfortable, inviting all to a nearby party by saying: �Come as you are or come as your PFP.�

Attendees come from all over to attend NFT.NYC. One man, who asks that I refer to him only as �Sirius,� says he traveled from Virginia to meet some of the people he speaks to on Discord every day. Since entering the space a little over a year ago, he has purchased more than 200 NFTs, he says to my amazement. Recent events notwithstanding, he remains bullish. �The bull run wasn't gonna last forever,� Sirius says. He says he is in accumulation mode and preparing for the next bull run, when valuations explode and gamblers become kings.

Unlike Sirius, Liam Hinsley has yet to purchase an NFT, but he agrees that now is as good a time to get in as ever. He sees crypto�s downturn as related to broader macroeconomic forces and thinks it now provides a buying opportunity. �If the price is down, people that couldn't afford to get in can now afford to get in,� he says.

The unanswered legal and political questions hovering over the world of cryptocurrency and NFTs sit nestled in the background of the conference, never far from mind. One company bills itself as a means through which �Tradfi Co-Signers� could �Become DeFi Buddies.� (Capitalism rebranded as community.) �Now, anyone can get a loan in seconds,� the company proudly states, seemingly blissfully unaware of the lessons of the housing crisis that took down the global economy 15 long years ago.

At one point on Tuesday afternoon, an attendee wanders over and says he does not understand how a fractionalized NFT (one NFT owned by multiple investors) could not be considered a security. When he directed his confusion toward one such company pitching shared ownership of the speculative assets at the conference, he says, a representative told him the company would take its chances in the current climate. At the NFT Awards, which is actually just a room filled with computer screens, the conference praises numerous members of the burgeoning industry.

The primary winner of the awards this year is never in question, but just to confirm: Yes, it is the Bored Ape Yacht Club, which is honored with �Best NFT Business Model.� The Yankees of the NFT industry, the Bored Apes make their presence known throughout the conference. Bored Ape hoodies flash throughout the crowd, as owners and knockoffs alike both try to exploit the most well-known NFT brand in the world. One Ape owner informs me that he has created a Bored Ape pinball machine, which he unveiled to the world Monday evening. �It's a fully functional, fully playable pinball machine,� he tells me. �It's a one-of-one prototype. But we're looking to go to market here in the next two-to-three months.�

Next to the Ape owner stands Tony, who partners with individual NFT owners to produce toy versions of the NFTs, including a number of Bored Apes, which were on view for attendees to admire. The idea is catching on, Tony told me. He approximates that 14 people have come up to him already asking if they could make some toys, too.

At the nearby Ace Hotel on Wednesday morning, as Web3 enthusiasts chat on Discord and take video calls from the lobby, Katie Geminder tells me that she is still struggling to educate the public about the potential of NFTs. One of the co-founders of a popular NFT platform, Geminder says the industry is struggling with �disinformation� partially resulting from an onslaught of clickbait headlines.

�We want your mom to understand the technology,� Geminder tells Motherboard. �Because we want more people in the ecosystem.� As part of that push, her company, Cent, will soon allow people to make payments in U.S. dollars, as opposed to only using cryptocurrency. �The way I feel with Web3 is like: jump in; the waters warm,� she says. �I just think that a rising tide lifts all boats.�

Dauer, the life coach, is doing just that. He recently decided to transfer his �IRL� practice into (what else?) the metaverse. Being at the conference, he tells Motherboard, made him more resolute than ever.

�People who are here today are visionaries, creators, entrepreneurs�people who see the future and people who have really, really clear visions for what their place in that future is going to be,� he says. �That's why I'm moving my practice into the metaverse: to work with people who have big visions and dreams.�

https://www.vice.com/en/article/z34ep4/this-is-a-great-time-to-buy-nftnyc-attendees-see-opportunity-in-crypto-chaos

# ? Jun 24, 2022 01:55

Neito: Feb 18, 2009; 😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

You know what senate bills need?

YOSPOS memes.

https://github.com/responsible-financial-innovation-act22/RFIA-bill

# ? Jun 24, 2022 02:04

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Neito posted:

You know what senate bills need?

YOSPOS memes.

https://github.com/responsible-financial-innovation-act22/RFIA-bill

Wait thats not a joke, they really are asking for comments through Github?

# ? Jun 24, 2022 02:14

ymgve: Jan 2, 2004; Offensive Clock

They thought their opponents were reasonable people, but it turns out they are lunatic fanatic criminal trolls (they didn�t even realize they were on opposite sides)

# ? Jun 24, 2022 02:32

Neito: Feb 18, 2009; 😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

Zil posted:

Wait thats not a joke, they really are asking for comments through Github?

As far as I can tell it's legit.

# ? Jun 24, 2022 02:47

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

Solana, last seen coming inches from bankruptcy because one dude wanted to sell $20 million of a currency that's supposed to have a "market cap" of $750 million, is making a phone.

https://twitter.com/solana/status/1540032336594718720

I assume this means they're slapping their logo on the cheapest poo poo some Thai factory will produce white label.

# ? Jun 24, 2022 02:55

notwithoutmyanus: Mar 17, 2009

Zil posted:

Wait thats not a joke, they really are asking for comments through Github?

Responses have got you covered.
https://github.com/responsible-financial-innovation-act22/RFIA-bill/issues

issues posted:

Bill does not contain the term "yeet"
#43 opened 2 hours ago

tf2 poll: is engineer overpowered?
#36 opened 3 hours ago

Crypto is a ticking time bomb
#19 opened 5 hours ago

Ban crypto since its a pyramid scheme
#9 opened 16 hours ago

Government needs to be 100% separated from the issuance and regulation of money.
#2 opened yesterday

Taxation is theft!
#1 opened yesterday

Some gems, clearly.

# ? Jun 24, 2022 03:01

Rad Russian: Aug 15, 2007; Soviet Power Supreme!

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/z34ep4/this-is-a-great-time-to-buy-nftnyc-attendees-see-opportunity-in-crypto-chaos

�We want your mom to understand the technology,� Geminder tells Motherboard. �Because we want more people in the ecosystem.�

The pyramid MUST BE FED WITH FRESH BLOOD.

# ? Jun 24, 2022 03:01

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

PostNouveau posted:

Solana, last seen coming inches from bankruptcy because one dude wanted to sell $20 million of a currency that's supposed to have a "market cap" of $750 million, is making a phone.

https://twitter.com/solana/status/1540032336594718720

I assume this means they're slapping their logo on the cheapest poo poo some Thai factory will produce white label.

How many backdoors is this thing going to have built into it?

# ? Jun 24, 2022 03:06

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Zil posted:

How many backdoors is this thing going to have built into it?

Is it a backdoor if it can't be closed?

# ? Jun 24, 2022 03:10

A talking coyote: Jan 14, 2020

I gotta say I kind of admire these peoples drives to come up with as many insane plans as possible. Not in any business sense, more like the way I admire a cat�s determination to get into a plastic shopping bag, get stuck, and try to get out.

# ? Jun 24, 2022 03:15

repiv: Aug 13, 2009

PostNouveau posted:

Solana, last seen coming inches from bankruptcy because one dude wanted to sell $20 million of a currency that's supposed to have a "market cap" of $750 million, is making a phone.

I assume this means they're slapping their logo on the cheapest poo poo some Thai factory will produce white label.

the specs are actually pretty decent but the software is no doubt going to be a shitshow

https://www.androidpolice.com/osom-ov1-solana-saga/

# ? Jun 24, 2022 03:16

MokBa: Jun 8, 2006; If you see something suspicious, bomb it!

PITY BONER posted:

The comment section on the OP is hilarious. First the guy in the image "bumped" somebody??? And then the OP changed their story to "he shoved a girl, this is abuse on women," and then got sour over the comments roasting everything about the story and the post. No one is really sure what this idiot is trying to say, and I think the yellow sweatshirt guy in the image is actually the OP, which makes this even more ridiculous.

He actually used the term �female� instead of woman which is the most telling thing a man can do.

# ? Jun 24, 2022 04:51

TheBizzness: Oct 5, 2004; Reign on me.

Detheros posted:

Wow, they funged that token.

Seems like all these tokens are coming up funged.

# ? Jun 24, 2022 05:11

Vampire Panties: Apr 18, 2001; nposter; Nap Ghost

PITY BONER posted:

https://opensea.io/collection/cryptopainter

Big OG energy right here.

Somebody bought this awful racist trash for nearly FOUR THOUSAND US DOLLARS in February

I'd have to assume the :airquote:

Bonus Unlockable Content :airquote:

is something even more horrific and racist

gently caress NFTs

EDIT

The same dude whose selling bad photoshops of dog whistle racist poo poo is mad that some dude didn't respect him? OK I take back what I said - do not gently caress NFTs. Instead I propose that anyone who wishes to buy or sell a NFT must undergo chemical sterilization. Reproduction probably isnt a huge concern at the Apefest there, but as a species we need to draw a line

Vampire Panties fucked around with this message at 05:17 on Jun 24, 2022

# ? Jun 24, 2022 05:14

ELTON JOHN: Feb 17, 2014

https://twitter.com/SnoopDogg/status/1540156496373325824

# ? Jun 24, 2022 06:31

ELTON JOHN: Feb 17, 2014

also i guess there are ducks now?!

https://twitter.com/s3mawi/status/1540158184807088128

# ? Jun 24, 2022 06:37

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

LifeSunDeath posted:

not even sure what to say about this one. at a minimum his digital art work is terrible and he has zero grasp on the concept of matching lighting.

LOL, I just got it for FREE

holy poo poo all of this artwork is...special

10 owners? If you buy this babbys first Photoshop for 3000 pretend bucks, you don't even get exclusive bragging rights? I thought that was the whole point (that and money laundering)

# ? Jun 24, 2022 06:40

BoldFace: Feb 28, 2011

https://twitter.com/Eminem/status/1540192609854824448

# ? Jun 24, 2022 06:51

thehandtruck: Mar 5, 2006; the thing about the jews is,

nuketulsa posted:

I can't believe this is real life loving a man

say what u will about capitalism but its kind of like a rng seed generator for awfulness

# ? Jun 24, 2022 07:03

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Can't post for 17 hours!

ELTON JOHN posted:

also i guess there are ducks now?!

https://twitter.com/s3mawi/status/1540158184807088128

loving lol it's literally daffy duck's beak stuck onto a badly edited bored ape

# ? Jun 24, 2022 07:42

Sombrerotron: Aug 1, 2004; Release my children! My hat is truly great and mighty.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

loving lol it's literally daffy duck's beak stuck onto a badly edited bored ape

D: "It's duck-buying season!"
A: "It's ape season!"
D: "Duck season!"
A: "Ape season!"
D: "Duck season!"
A: "Ape season!"
D: "Ape season!"
A: "Duck season!"
D: "Ape season!"
A: "I say duck season and I say BUY!!" *gets rugged*

# ? Jun 24, 2022 09:12

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 8, 2024 00:49

deep dish peat moss: Jul 27, 2006

Ghost Leviathan posted:

loving lol it's literally daffy duck's beak stuck onto a badly edited bored ape

I was approached by a cryptobro I know who released an NFT line (that as far as I know never sold a single NFT) about doing art and that was basically the way he pitched it to me, like just take parts of existing things and collage them together and trace over them, no effort required

So I started doing that and I made these but he just looked at them and said I don't 'get' NFTs and I said yeah I guess not

his problem with them was that each one was unique and not just made up of interchangeable pieces all in the same pose

# ? Jun 24, 2022 09:24

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