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I can excuse a lot of the random false or misleading stuff that was taught because different times and whatnot, but one thing I can't is the constant dangling threat that the next level of education will be "wayyy harder and more strict" I remember them even using it in grade school for the next grade level every year, then middle school, then high school, then college. In my experience, middle school (jr high) was the peak of having a ton of homework every night. Then I got to high school and could complete most of my homework assignments in study hall, then of course college is like 80% bs'ing your way through and most professors couldn't care less. As an anxiety-ridden kid (who became an anxiety-ridden adult!) this made me dread every new school year unnecessarily. Meme Poker Party posted:The biggest lie of all doesn't happen until college and it's when the professor says that all the books you are supposed to buy will definitely be needed for the class. Also this. It's almost never true, or they are necessary for only a few things through the whole semester in an attempt to justify requiring them.
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Jun 23, 2022 18:18
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I don't know if the teacher was confused or my brother was, but for the longest time when he was in second grade, he would say that his teacher told him rocks were alive.
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Jun 23, 2022 18:24
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“Snakes evolved from worms.” - 6th grade earth science teacher
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Jun 23, 2022 18:26
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9th grade health teacher who was the varsity wrestling coach said some weird poo poo to us during the brief sex ed portion of his class. Women can masturbate by simply crossing their legs. If you see a girl in your class with her legs crossed, chances are she’s silently getting herself off, possibly having multiple orgasms. Whereas boys have to “bounce up and down for an hour” to get the same result. Women can also orgasm by rubbing their nipples. He also flat out refused to discuss AIDS or buttsex even though the class had tons of questions.
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Jun 23, 2022 18:33
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Gatto Grigio posted:“Snakes evolved from worms.” - 6th grade earth science teacher Your av is my literal reaction to that sentence.
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Jun 23, 2022 18:33
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Gatto Grigio posted:“Snakes evolved from worms.” - 6th grade earth science teacher We all evolved from worms, man, little crazy things wiggling around billions of years ago  I had an instructor in university tell us that Abraham Lincoln owned slaves. To be fair this wasn't in America and he wasn't American, but I thought that's probably something that I would have heard before. I googled it and the only source that came up was Weekly World News (lol) and I emailed her and said that if that was what he was basing it on that wasn't right as it was a gag paper. To his credit he apologized and said he had been mistaken and if he ever said anything about American history like that I thought was fishy to tell him.
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Jun 23, 2022 18:45
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a professor was like "here, catch!" and tossed a cardoon my way and i caught it and it hurt again, no lies I just think life is silly at times
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Jun 23, 2022 18:46
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Ralph Hurley posted:Women can masturbate by simply crossing their legs. If you see a girl in your class with her legs crossed, chances are she’s silently getting herself off, possibly having multiple orgasms. Whereas boys have to “bounce up and down for an hour” to get the same result. Women can also orgasm by rubbing their nipples. 100% true!
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Jun 23, 2022 18:56
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“Hey nice rear end”. 
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Jun 23, 2022 19:50
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SweetMercifulCrap! posted:I can excuse a lot of the random false or misleading stuff that was taught because different times and whatnot, but one thing I can't is the constant dangling threat that the next level of education will be "wayyy harder and more strict" I heard this too. Thankfully a lesson that one of my high school teachers taught was that straight A students in high school are going to hit a wall in post-secondary. That one I actually saw happen. Also not exactly a lie, but in Elementary school we had to write our rough drafts on paper and type up our final drafts. Somehow this was The Way Things Were Done. Then in middle school someone asked if they could write their rough draft on paper. The teacher said WTF use a computer. This was in the 2000s.
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Jun 23, 2022 20:08
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Violet_Sky posted:In my part of Canada, we had to sing our national anthem at every school assembly in elementary school for some baffling reason. Some parts of Canada treat it like the goddamn Pledge. Our elementary school principal was one of those weirdo monarchist fans so we were supposed to do both the Canadian anthem and God Save the Queen. Even as a snot nosed child I declined to participate, whatever, I'll stand up, but you can't make me sing. Kinda weird poo poo in retrospect.
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Jun 23, 2022 20:20
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Also the "this will be way harder in university" lie... I spent 90% of my time playing WoW, riding my bike aimlessly while drinking beer (I installed a cup holder), smoking weed, partying, banging and hanging with what would later be my wife, playing with bunnies and doing LSD and mushrooms (sometimes combined). 10% reading philosophy stuff and then writing bullshit essays that were close enough to a passing grade. gently caress, I literally did basket weaving in one of my other side classes. It was cool and fun and I use it to this day to store various screws and widgets. Some of the best days of my life. No responsibility at all. Don't even have to cook your own food. They should really sell it to high schoolers as, "If you get high enough grades, you get to go have a loving blast for 4 years before real life starts, just slug it out kids."
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Jun 23, 2022 20:29
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Math was way harder in university, or I should say the tests were. They asked us to invert 5x5 matrices by hand, find eigenvalues for similarly sized beasts, show every step, no calculators, and just showing you know how it's done wasn't enough, you had to get it right to get any points. Most people failed, and i'm pretty sure it wasn't because they didn't know how to do those things, it's just when you have a limited amount of time to do hundreds of arithmetic operations by hand, never mind solve quartic polynomials, errors are bound to crop up. I guess the lies they told us was to practice on the old tests from previous years because those were loving easy as poo poo.
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Jun 23, 2022 21:44
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"What are you? A doctor?" Is what I heard many teachers sarcastically tell other kids about their "penmanship" but 13 seconds later tell us how we should all go to college to be doctors. That just fucks with your head. "You are really young and are doing something bad that is usually done by a person in a profession of high respect and you should write better so you can do well in college to be a doctor with bad handwriting".
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Jun 23, 2022 22:16
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Bonzo posted:"What are you? A doctor?" Hey, yeah!
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Jun 23, 2022 22:21
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I went to my middle school teacher's house. We played football and i saw her husband had a Macintosh SE and I was fascinated.
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Jun 23, 2022 22:50
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Some time between 2001 and 2003, U.S.A., a Government/Civics teacher: "These gas prices are temporary, they'll go back down to around a dollar soon enough."
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Jun 23, 2022 23:24
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Ralph Hurley posted:9th grade health teacher who was the varsity wrestling coach said some weird poo poo to us during the brief sex ed portion of his class. A good third of my sex ed class was our Bio teacher trying to convince us that you can get pregnant from doing anal and trying to explain the fluid dynamics of cum dripping out a girl's rear end into her vagina, and another was a nasty rear end slideshow of STDs. The whole presentation was basically trying to push abstinence only without actually saying it, just implying that there's nothing even remotely close to safe sex, and we're all gonna have unwanted pregnancies if we keep it up. Oh, and her kid was in our class. That was fun. The Butcher posted:Also the "this will be way harder in university" lie... The first half of my college career was like this. Back half hit me in the balls repeatedly as I hit the weed out classes with the professors who were personally offended at the idea of students being able to have social lives or working full time.
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Jun 23, 2022 23:41
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I went to French Catholic school for elementary and middle school and our sex education was actually thorough and they definitely did not espouse an abstinence-only mindset.
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Jun 24, 2022 01:00
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I had one college professor who would mark you down if you didn’t deadname Wendy Carlos. He insisted she be called Walter. At least he said he would mark you down, I never tried to see if he was telling the truth, I just deadnamed Wendy Carlos the whole semester, it’s what one did in 2005. Not so much a lie as a dick move. Nigmaetcetera fucked around with this message at 01:33 on Jun 24, 2022 |
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Jun 24, 2022 01:31
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You will totally get college credit for these AP classes. Also literally everything about the middle ages.
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Jun 24, 2022 01:43
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e;fb
BigBadSteve fucked around with this message at 01:58 on Jun 24, 2022 |
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Jun 24, 2022 01:55
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Deki posted:Snip :her kid was in our class. That was fun. I'm wondering if those two facts are related. Anyway, for myself, I was pretty lucky that a great many of the teachers I got were "I'm Gonna teach you and your gonna have fun and want to know more, so halp meh gawd" My favourites are english teachers who take a lesson to talk about how growing up is bullshit and to do stuff that you either enjoy; (he said "My wife works here, and they needed another english teacher and only I applied") or get paid ok for the minimum amount of time spent doing it, : Working as a Binman. that was his other favourite job because after a shower, he hand the rest of the day from about 12 onwards. E: I think it was fun to be encouraged to not try to do a bullshit "be an astronaut" in the 70's staberind fucked around with this message at 02:41 on Jun 24, 2022 |
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Jun 24, 2022 02:33
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Deki posted:A good third of my sex ed class was our Bio teacher trying to convince us that you can get pregnant from doing anal and trying to explain the fluid dynamics of cum dripping out a girl's rear end into her vagina, and another was a nasty rear end slideshow of STDs. The whole presentation was basically trying to push abstinence only without actually saying it, just implying that there's nothing even remotely close to safe sex, and we're all gonna have unwanted pregnancies if we keep it up. Oh, and her kid was in our class. That was fun. https://streamable.com/a18ar6
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Jun 24, 2022 03:28
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Renegret posted:(She also got mad at my friend, another incoming Comp Sci major for changing the desktop image on one of the Macs because she thought it would use up all the RAM) On windows you used to be able to save a little memory by using a desktop color instead of an image. It was a minuscule amount but it’d add up if you did a few little tweaks like that.
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Jun 24, 2022 04:48
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I think the biggest challenge of university and, really, the reason why it's "hard" is the total freedom you get when you are there (not so much the subject matter). So now instead of having a rigid routine and nets to catch you if you fall (which high school is full of) you have to structure your own routine yourself and catch yourself before you fall. This is something you are just not taught or told and no matter what your grades are it will be a massive shock and you have to adapt quick. For some people the reason they got straight A's is they learned the high school structure and routine really well and it's a massive change to go to college which has no such thing. It'll humble you if you don't adapt.
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Jun 24, 2022 07:04
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Justin Godscock posted:So now instead of having a rigid routine and nets to catch you if you fall (which high school is full of) you have to structure your own routine yourself and catch yourself before you fall. I actually fell off my bike a lot at uni. Usually about around 4+ beers. Actually got me into first aid stuff. Can't help others if you can't help yourself. And if you get your blood slower to clot with the booze, it's better practice! Can always make more blood. Just keep enough inside.
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Jun 24, 2022 09:10
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kntfkr posted:did anyone catch a seagull? i been trying to catch a seagull my whole life and they always fly away "put salt on their tails and they become your friend" -a teacher
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Jun 24, 2022 12:02
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all that poo poo about Columbus
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Jun 24, 2022 12:48
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"I'll make your first time really special." Also that I would be successful.
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Jun 26, 2022 08:25
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This poem is really brilliant and worth our precious class-time, and not just over-rated trash that appeals to your teacher's weird fetish.
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Jun 26, 2022 20:50
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post the teacher's weird fetish
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Jun 27, 2022 03:06
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More lies: That racism and sexism were ended forever thanks to MLK and Susan B Anthony respectivelyPlant MONSTER. posted:post the teacher's weird fetish I had one in high school that was way too interested in whether me and another boy were dating. Like I was using a computer in class to look up Androcles and the Lion and he looked over my shoulder, saw just the title, and made a joke like "is Jonathon the lion? Are you his keeper with a whip?" Sorry Jon, I did have a crush on you but I kinda freaked out when I realized you felt the same way, and I think our teacher treating us like his ship was part of that. (The other part was it turns out I like women more)
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Jun 27, 2022 04:14
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That I was special and not like the other 7th graders  Also an upper-middle white suburban neoliberal weltanschauung. And that nerds and social outcasts would be rich and powerful.
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Jun 27, 2022 04:22
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Do lies from administrators count, or only teachers? Because pound for pound, administrators' lies are worse.
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Jun 27, 2022 04:32
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my freshman us history teacher told us with a totally straight face that time travel was possible and had actually already been achieved but they only were able to teleport atoms at the moment and nothing bigger than that. he fielded questions on it for like 35 minutes and everything he said, frankly, held up
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Jun 27, 2022 04:33
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Light Gun Man posted:all that poo poo about Columbus  Also the loving Pilgrims.
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Jun 27, 2022 05:01
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Not a lie but when I was being taught letters I jokingly asked why a w wasn't two u's and my teacher got mad and said, "No, this is a w." Now that I'm grown up I looked it up and yes, w was written as an uu shape in olden times and eventually switched over to the modern form. Piece of poo poo teacher.
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Jun 27, 2022 05:10
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A lot of the school interactions I remember were like that, think that's part of why I hate authority figures so much.
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Jun 27, 2022 05:12
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Plant MONSTER. posted:post the teacher's weird fetish I forget the name/author of the poem, but it was about some kids who are forced to drink lemonade and then piss into cans of paint, then their parents stir up the piss-paint and paint their house with it. Totally normal school literature. You will be absolutely not shocked at all to learn that this teacher also turned out to have hosed some of his students.
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Jun 27, 2022 05:24
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