Paladinus posted:

I always add, at least, a couple of extra commas to all of my posts, in order to signal that there is always a clear authorial intent.

Paladinus posted:

I always add, at least, a couple of extra commas to all of my posts, in order to signal that there is always a clear authorial intent.

Gravitas Shortfall posted:

anyway, the important thing is to put double spaces after each period.

Ornamental Dingbat posted:

Let;s see some semicolons in that bitch.

ChubbyChecker posted:

nah

its the opposite

Gravitas Shortfall posted:

anyway, the important thing is to put double spaces after each period.

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

Forums code automatically removes the extra space. See?

Paladinus posted:

I always add, at least, a couple of extra commas to all of my posts, in order to signal that there is always a clear authorial intent.

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

Forums code automatically removes the extra space. See?

Gravitas Shortfall posted:

anyway, the important thing is to put double spaces after each period.

Kitfox88 posted:

are you a loving sociopath

Arivia posted:

No they are just very old

DELETE CASCADE posted:

i'll put my vhf in your uhf if you're dtf

Jonny 290 posted:

Ah, a 13cm band operator i see

Paladinus posted:

I always add, at least, a couple of extra commas to all of my posts, in order to signal that there is always a clear authorial intent.

90s Cringe Rock posted:

'I'

FreudianSlippers posted:

I painstakingly decapitalize each individual letter

Zil posted:

I feel, called out, by this.

Azhais posted:

https://i.imgur.com/imHOkK7.mp4

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

Karate Bastard posted:

Hey, watch this.   Three spaces.

Unperson_47 posted:

dead scat bounce
bad shat bounce
sad shat clowns

Gravitas Shortfall posted:

Yeah my school did not have computers to spare for typing lessons when I was a kid so I've still go the muscle memory from learning on a mechanical typewriter.

Tunicate posted:

It went away after existing since the beginning of moveable type print, because boomers working on early teletext machines interpreted 'do not double space (because it can damage our expensive machine)' as 'do not double space because it is How Professionals Do Things'.

Out of their profound technological illiteracy, Boomers then invented a false origin for double spacing to 'explain' why their arbitrary opinion was justified.

Tunicate posted:

Ok boomer

Frowning Robot posted:

Preface: I am under no illusions about the number of friends (none) I will win by posting this before this particular audience, known for their reckless indulgence in the grotesque act described above. I am going to post this nonetheless, in the hopes that, like in times past, the rational thinkers amongst my readers will emerge to support my rational and thought-provoking opinions.

Through years of research and personal observation of the slowing gears of the modern industrial nation, I have come to the conclusion that a number of social plights can be tangibly linked to this nefarious act known as masturbation. These innumerable plights include obesity, rape, the genocide of newborn seals, and countless more, creating a list so colossal it could not be contained within the allotted space of one post.

It is beyond the slightest doubt an indisputable fact that man, on his primal level, exists for two purposes, and two purposes only during that time span known as his mortal life; to survive, and multiply, that is, continue his genetic line with a new generation. Some point along man’s rocky road, an ancient man decided to place his hand over his penis. It was at this moment, my esteemed readers, that mankind took a turn down the path of self-destruction. For those dubious of such brash assertions, I will present all proper evidence in due time.

Masturbation, the act of stimulating the penis to the point of ejaculation using the hand(s), pillows, bananas etc. fulfils a purpose twofold for those who engage in it; firstly, to provide a rush of physical pleasure, and secondly, to relieve the pressure that nature bares down upon him to plant his seed in the appropriate vessel-that is, a female womb. By cleverly though harmfully avoiding nature’s intended purpose for his sperm, a man can live a fulfilling life without female contact, since nature’s burden is lifted from him with each ejaculation wasted on the bathroom tiles. It this avoidance of his natural duties through self-pleasuring that poses the greatest threat to human kind; why mate when you have two apt hands?

Before the plague of masturbation gripped the modern world, men had the direst of impetus to stay in top physical shape; so that a female would willingly accept his sperm and thus fulfill nature’s purpose. Now, the modern man has no need to care for his body, and he lets it rot under 200 pounds of fat earned from years of eating gluttonous foods. Why does he do this? Even if his female contemporaries find him so physically repulsive so as to not step within ten feet of him, let alone let him enter their precious vagina, he can always rely on masturbation to avoid his duties as a breathing homo sapien.

In my extensive research of this topic I have come across numerous studies that show that repeated rapists, those who engage in forced or surprise sex compulsively, masturbate up to 70% more than the normal male. It does not take a Herculean leap of logic to deduce why this statistic is true. Rapists are, for the most part, bad apples of the genetic pool. Women often find them repulsive and thus they lead unproductive reproductive lives. This lack of reproduction would naturally make the bad apple die out, but, thanks to masturbation, the rapist, feeling the pleasure of his own hand, now is infused with the urge to force himself upon unwilling females. Yet another example of masturbation’s frightening consequences.

It is a little-known yet truly disturbing fact that upwards of 90% of sexual lubricants on the market contain an oil obtained from young seals of the artic circle, which are often clubbed to death each year by hunters. I will spare you PETA-esque diatribe about the fundamental immorality of slaughtering helpless animals; if they needed to survive that badly, they would have adapted to use guns to defend against man. I will say, however, that disrupting the animal kingdom’s delicate balance in order to hasten the fall of modern society by using these lubricants for masturbation is quite a depraved deed. Remember, when you ‘rub one out’ you’re rubbing out a baby seal.

With all the evidence presented, I would find it nigh unbelievable that any of you with an iota of logic and reason would continue to engage in masturbation, an act that slowly causes societies to deteriorate. An act leading to obesity, and rape, and genocide. I cannot convey in the mere words of the English canon the serious nature of this threat, lurking in the mind of every male. I warn you, as a friend and insightful observer; do not stray down the path of masturbation; fulfill your purpose as nature intended, and put your sperm where it belongs.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Rockman Reserve posted:

jesus gently caress that guy's perma is literally sickening

Milo and POTUS posted:

What is it?

CharlestheHammer posted:

Him telling a story about picking up chicks at Rape victim counseling sessions.

By pretending to have been molested as a kid

Robobot posted:

Guaranteed that person is in office or a super devout Christian in their small town right now.