r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

"honey, I'm sorry. Please come out. We're going to take the Toyota RAV4 (hybrid) out to paddle board and I'm sorry I ever suggested otherwise"

# ? Jul 2, 2022 14:49

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# ? May 31, 2024 11:20

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

gently caress em, they can stay locked in the bathroom until they can communicate like a normal person or they starve to death, whichever happens first.

I hate the 'apologize but I won't tell you what for' poo poo with a passion. The single most confused and distressed times I had as a kid were when my dad sat me down in a kitchen chair and demanded to know why.
Why what? YOU KNOW WHY! No I fuckin' didn't! This was before I lost my hearing, I didn't even have the brain damage yet to blame for any memory fuckery! Did I as a rambunctious 5 year old do something to get in trouble? Yeah, probably. But between running hither and thither and all the sugar rushes, you should probably loving specify which of my actions is under scrutiny!

Malachite_Dragon fucked around with this message at 15:10 on Jul 2, 2022

# ? Jul 2, 2022 15:03

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Baron von Eevl posted:

"I should apologize, partly because I really need to go to the bathroom"

Lol, that is a very good one

# ? Jul 2, 2022 15:15

AngryRobotsInc: Aug 2, 2011

Someone pulling that "I AM MAD BUT WON'T TELL YOU WHY" and refusing to come out of the bathroom is one of the few acceptable reasons for just pissing in the sink and going on your way.

# ? Jul 2, 2022 15:32

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

AITA for telling my boyfriend he can’t dry himself with paper towels?

quote:

I (26F) met my boyfriend (28M) a couple months ago at a work conference (we don’t work together but are in the same industry) and hit it off and exchanged numbers and having been talking every day for hours for the last 3 months. We haven’t seen each other since the conference because he lives on the east coast and our plans keep getting spoiled, first he got c*vid and then my flight got cancelled and then I had a big work project I had to drop everything for. Anyway we haven’t spent the night together since the conference and at the conference he would always go back to his own room to shower after.

So he finally flew out to stay with me last weekend and we had an amazing day, went out to brunch and walked around the market and then went home and…you know. Which is where the problem starts. He goes to take a shower after and after a while I went to join him but he was already done. I open the door and there are paper towels all over the floor, like a WHOLE rolls worth, and he’s drying himself with them. He asks me where the rest of my paper towels are and I’m like what are you doing?? Why aren’t you using the towel I left out for you?? And he says that towels are gross because they’re “reused” and that he’s always dried himself with paper towels since he was a kid. I’m just standing there in shock and he explains that they’re also thinner so it’s easier for him to get to all of his "crevices." And he doesn’t like how the towel get damp but every new square of paper towel is 100% dry. I just think this is insane so I start laughing and he gets mad and storms off the bedroom and he lays down in the bed and I see literal scraps of paper towel sticking to his skin and getting on my sheets. I tell him he has to use a towel when he's at my house because it’s wasteful and he’s getting paper on the bed and he tells me to stop embarrassing him and that it’s not a big deal, and that it's my fault he's getting it on the bed because my paper towels are thin and cheap. Eventually I agree to drop it and we got to bed but it puts a damper on the whole weekend and he doesn’t shower again.

We haven’t been talking much since he went home and I’m wondering if I overreacted. I mean it doesn’t hurt anyone (except for the trees) and I think I really hurt his feelings and embarassed him by laughing. He said he would replace my paper towel roll and that I was being controlling. He comes from a fair bit of money so I've been thinking maybe this is normal for people from his background. But I was taken off guard and I’ve never heard of or seen anyone else doing this and I just reacted. AITA for laughing?

No words, just :psyboom:

# ? Jul 2, 2022 15:41

Snuff Melange: May 21, 2021; ______________

...some men,
you just can't reach.
______________

Having my relationship issues livestreamed to an audience of 11,000+ would be miserable lol. Although this is reddit so the guy probably did or said some horrible poo poo he left out.

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for telling my boyfriend he can’t dry himself with paper towels?

I just think this is insane so I start laughing and he gets mad and storms off the bedroom and he lays down in the bed and I see literal scraps of paper towel sticking to his skin and getting on my sheets. ... he doesn�t shower again.

gently caress this killed me lol

Snuff Melange fucked around with this message at 15:44 on Jul 2, 2022

# ? Jul 2, 2022 15:41

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

mossyfisk posted:

Do you think he says (Ford Fiesta stick shift) every time he mentions his car in real life too?

As someone who also has a stick shift I can say with confidence he does. Especially if he's in the US.

Edit:

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for telling my boyfriend he can’t dry himself with paper towels?

they’re also thinner so it’s easier for him to get to all of his "crevices."

I'm scared ro ask what crevicee this guy has that a bath towel is too think to get into.

limp_cheese fucked around with this message at 15:47 on Jul 2, 2022

# ? Jul 2, 2022 15:42

Admiral Joeslop: Jul 8, 2010

Hey at least he's probably washing and drying his rear end.

I gotta know how much money he and his parents have spent on paper towels.

# ? Jul 2, 2022 15:52

Baron von Eevl: Jan 24, 2005; WHITE NOISE
GENERATOR
🔊😴

I like that she expects an apology from him for saying a thing that not only would have no way to know would upset her, she didn't even know it was upsetting.

# ? Jul 2, 2022 15:53

AngryRobotsInc: Aug 2, 2011

"It doesn't hurt anyone (except for the trees)" is also pretty good title material.

# ? Jul 2, 2022 15:58

wheatpuppy: Apr 25, 2008; YOU HAVE MY POST!

Baron von Eevl posted:

Goddamn between "everyone loves me very much" and "I should apologize, partly because I really need to go to the bathroom" we got done good thread titles this morning.

Man, you're not wrong. Also really liking "it doesn�t hurt anyone (except for the trees)."
(E:f,b)

# ? Jul 2, 2022 16:00

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Kinda feels like 'Woman is mad at her husband/boyfriend and says he knows what he did, he legitimately has no idea why' used to be a whole thing in 'lol women amirite' comedy before just flat out disappearing entirely some years back.

# ? Jul 2, 2022 16:18

AngryRobotsInc: Aug 2, 2011

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Kinda feels like 'Woman is mad at her husband/boyfriend and says he knows what he did, he legitimately has no idea why' used to be a whole thing in 'lol women amirite' comedy before just flat out disappearing entirely some years back.

It was, but some people really do pull that poo poo.

# ? Jul 2, 2022 16:21

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

AngryRobotsInc posted:

It was, but some people really do pull that poo poo.

Yeah. At best its because of poorly learned communication skills and unreasonable expectations from a partner, at worst (seen here) its malicious manipulation, i.e. abuse.

# ? Jul 2, 2022 16:23

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

Hop in your Ford Fiesta (stick shift) and get outta there!!!!

# ? Jul 2, 2022 16:28

Admiralty Flag: Jun 7, 2007; to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

Captain Hygiene posted:

Lol, that is a very good one

I literally lolled when I read it

# ? Jul 2, 2022 16:31

erosion: Dec 21, 2002; It's true and I'm tired of pretending it isn't

Sisal Two-Step posted:

Hop in your Ford Fiesta (stick shift) and get outta there!!!!

I'd just like to add that driving a tiny car with a stick is extremely fun because the power to weight ratio is pretty good and you're in control of the transmission.

Content, I have a theory on this one but see if you can guess what it is:

quote:

AITA for walking out of my "surprise party"?

I don't usually do big birthday parties, I just have a few close friends I hang out with. They're my only friends, but I'm not lonely or anything, I like having a small group, and I don't like parties anyway. I'm a pretty boring guy. Usually we host at my house, but my best friend was really begging for it to be at his house. I got there was something up when he said that, and I was really excited for what it was going to be, like I'd been hyping myself on this since he told me.

The "surprise" was that he invited a bunch of girls. I didn't even know he was friends with that many. The girls were trying to be nice I think but I didn't know any of them and I didn't want to play spin the bottle or anything like that, and honestly it didn't look like they did either. I just wanted to spend my birthday with my friends. But I got really upset, I'm not sure why, on my birthday things just upset me a lot more. I didn't get angry or anything, and I wouldn't say sad either, I just felt really empty and disappointed and lonely before I just left.

He texted me over and over again asking why I left, and I haven't responded because I know I was being really stupid, but I still feel the same way about it for some reason. I feel like an rear end in a top hat. I think it would have been my best friend's dream party, and he was being really nice if I felt that way about it too. But instead it just made me feel alone and took my favourite part of my birthday from me. Maybe I'm also being an rear end in a top hat with how serious I'm taking my birthday in general. But I also think he's the rear end in a top hat for going out of his way to do something for me without considering whether I'd like it or not. He knows I don't like big parties or parties at all really.

# ? Jul 2, 2022 16:41

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

AngryRobotsInc posted:

It was, but some people really do pull that poo poo.

Indeed. I do wonder if the whole trope itself ended up having a bunch of people realise 'poo poo, he really DOESN'T know what I'm mad about and thinks I'm insane for not explaining'.

Kinda similar to something that I think Phineas and Ferb was the last to do, where a girl infiltrates a bunch of boys and is shocked to learn that boys actually communicate straightforwardly without relying on implication, backhandedness or subtle hints.

# ? Jul 2, 2022 16:45

Baron von Eevl: Jan 24, 2005; WHITE NOISE
GENERATOR
🔊😴

erosion posted:

I'd just like to add that driving a tiny car with a stick is extremely fun because the power to weight ratio is pretty good and you're in control of the transmission.

Content, I have a theory on this one but see if you can guess what it is:

Theory is they're 14 (or like 30) and OP is ace but hasn't figured that out yet.

# ? Jul 2, 2022 16:52

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

erosion posted:

I'd just like to add that driving a tiny car with a stick is extremely fun because the power to weight ratio is pretty good and you're in control of the transmission.

Content, I have a theory on this one but see if you can guess what it is:

Queer, has a crush on his friend?

# ? Jul 2, 2022 16:54

Pleads: Jun 9, 2005; pew pew pew

I�d be bummed too if I was looking forward to a small bday party with friends and it wound up there were a bunch of strangers and a weird vibe, tbh.

# ? Jul 2, 2022 16:57

Upgrade: Jun 19, 2021

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Queer, has a crush on his friend?

OP is 35 and his friends are otters?

# ? Jul 2, 2022 16:57

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for telling my boyfriend he can’t dry himself with paper towels?

No words, just

I never thought I'd see the towel equivalent of 'doesn't eat leftovers' person but here we are

Pleads posted:

I�d be bummed too if I was looking forward to a small bday party with friends and it wound up there were a bunch of strangers and a weird vibe, tbh.

agreed. for some people a room of attractive strangers is a dream; for others, it's a lot of work doing small talk and being uncomfortable. I'm the latter and that party would make me feel sad and hollow as well - for the OP that isn't a nutritive social interaction that fulfills a need, it's spending your energy performing for others. Having to do that on your birthday cuts deeper because it's a day you hope to just have fun and be comfortable on, and instead it's just another day you have to please the world.

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 17:09 on Jul 2, 2022

# ? Jul 2, 2022 17:05

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Baron von Eevl posted:

Theory is they're 14 (or like 30) and OP is ace but hasn't figured that out yet.

I could see a range of things possible on the OP's end, but they've gotta be young if spin the bottle was mentioned, right?

# ? Jul 2, 2022 17:07

erosion: Dec 21, 2002; It's true and I'm tired of pretending it isn't

Baron von Eevl posted:

Theory is they're 14 (or like 30) and OP is ace but hasn't figured that out yet.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Queer, has a crush on his friend?

ding ding ding

not sure which though

# ? Jul 2, 2022 17:10

Admiralty Flag: Jun 7, 2007; to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

Baron von Eevl posted:

Theory is they're 14 (or like 30) and OP is ace but hasn't figured that out yet.

Not necessarily ace, could just be 14 and overwhelmingly shy or insecure.

Third theory (second being having a crush on friend): wanted to do "guy stuff" with friends but was worried that :females:

would get in the way of that

# ? Jul 2, 2022 17:20

Andrast: Apr 21, 2010

I wouldn't want to have a birthday party with a bunch of strangers either

# ? Jul 2, 2022 17:26

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

yeah you don't have to be ace to not like that situation. I mean, OP might be ace, sure, but it feels kinda rude to start projecting what their sexuality might be just bc they don't want to be around a bunch of strangers.

# ? Jul 2, 2022 17:32

kru: Oct 5, 2003

paper towel man is amazing

breathtaking

# ? Jul 2, 2022 17:40

titty_baby_: Nov 11, 2015

Ghost Leviathan posted:

I mean some parents do pretty much this. Or go through the names of every one of their kids and sometimes their partner and pets before they land on the one they're meaning to address.

Yeah, but this (apparent) woman is just noted to actively refuse leftovers.

Given she literally rings up daddy I'm getting spoiled princess vibes.

I have two older half brothers from different sides and we all have names that start with the same letter. My parents cycle thru the list when addressing any of us, but sometimes the dogs name gets thrown in as well

# ? Jul 2, 2022 17:45

Baron von Eevl: Jan 24, 2005; WHITE NOISE
GENERATOR
🔊😴

StrangersInTheNight posted:

yeah you don't have to be ace to not like that situation. I mean, OP might be ace, sure, but it feels kinda rude to start projecting what their sexuality might be just bc they don't want to be around a bunch of strangers.

That's fair, I was just extrapolating from the friend assuming that bringing a lot of girls over would be what OP wants and the general lack of sex or sexuality mentioned at all in the post.

# ? Jul 2, 2022 18:03

WoodrowSkillson: Feb 24, 2005; *Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

Pomme de Terror posted:

AITA for using a squirt bottle for cats on my nephew?

And he posted cat tax

lmao this uncle owns

# ? Jul 2, 2022 18:08

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

CommissarMega posted:

1: From what I hear, the ASVAB score needed to join the US Coast Guard is quite high: 75 or higher, IIRC. For context, you only need 30 -40 to become a Marine (again, this if from what I recall).

30 to -40 is how I read that the first time.

# ? Jul 2, 2022 18:11

value-brand cereal: May 2, 2008

AITA for not letting my friend crash at my place after she abandoned me at a bar?
https://rareddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ek8znc/aita_for_not_letting_my_friend_crash_at_my_place/

quote:

Another AITA post reminded me of this story, which happened about 5 years ago. I'm no longer in contact with the girl, and I'm not sure if I was the rear end in a top hat or justified.

I went out with a friend, both 23yo girls at the time. She was visiting from about 1.5 hours away and was intending to stay at my place overnight.

She wanted to go to a particular bar. It's the middle of winter in Canada; we had to go up some outdoor stairs to get to the door with the bouncer, and there was a line. As we're moving up toward the bouncer, slowly, I slip on the stairs--not fall on my rear end, but definite tumble. The bouncer sees this and declares me too drunk, despite the fact that I'm entirely sober (and my friend as well). He says that she can go in, but I can't. I mildly protest, he shuts it down, I accept and prepare for us to walk away. My friend says that she has other friends inside and that she'll just go, and suggests I find another spot to park for the night.

I went home, still somewhat fuming.

The friend was supposed to stay with me for the weekend, but I know the people she was trying to meet at the bar, and they all lived nearby. I assumed she'd just stay with them.

At 3am ish, she showed up at my apartment, and I didn't open the door since I was asleep. She called me, and I woke up but missed the call. Saw the texts asking to let her in, ignored them, and went back to bed.

The reason I didn't feel bad:

this is Toronto, and she could've taken a train or an Uber home, thought I'm sure it would've cost a pretty penny

she could've stayed with one of the friends she ended up meeting with. Not like I had a spare bedroom, she was going to crash on the couch that I knew they had. That's what she ended up doing as I found out later.

But at the end of the day, she went out to my place, well out of the way, and expected to stay with me like we agreed to, and I didn't let her in.

Was I the rear end in a top hat?
edit
The friend was supposed to stay with me for the weekend, since she lived about 1.5 hours away. I know the people she was trying to meet at the bar, and they all lived nearby. I assumed she'd just stay with them.

Call me a lil spineless but I'd rather have a drunk friend off the streets and toss them out in the morning for being a ditching rear end in a top hat.

AITA for not wanting my boyfriend�s brother to stay/crash at our house?

quote:

I (21f), have been with my bf (21m), for three years. We�ve lived together for a year, and overall things are good. We actually rent his mothers spare house, who were very close with, so it�s worked out well. We can definitely afford to live somewhere else but we pay rent and take care of the house so it�s a good deal that everyone is happy with.

When I first moved up here, Bf�s brother and his girlfriend were also living in the house. However, it was a �temporary� stay and they lived rent free. Both were in and out of jobs the entire time they lived here, argued constantly, and overall it was not a comfortable time. A temporary stay ended up being 9 months, but we all wanted to help him out and since it was his mom�s house there wasn�t much we could do. His brother definitely has some things going on, is involved with drugs, and I believe some mental issues as well.

He�s a sweet guy and I really genuinely love him, but it�s difficult to have a relationship with him as he lies a lot and does things to take advantage of people. As of right now, he is supposed to be living part time with his mom and part time with a new girlfriend he has. But since this new arrangement, he�s been showing up at our house unannounced to smoke in his car and god knows what else. I really don�t mind if he lets us know, but it�s getting to the point where he�s showing up late at night and not leaving until the next day. It�s very clear he�s trying to start living here again through this and other actions, which I am not okay with. Of course if he had nowhere else to go, but his mom offered him a bedroom and place to stay.

BF doesn�t seem to be bothered at all by this arrangement, but a few weeks ago I caught him (most likely) dealing drugs in our driveway. I work a 9-5 while bf works late nights, so i�m here alone at night. I don�t like the idea of people showing up and dealing drugs when i�m here alone.

My conflict here is that I know he also grew up in this house and while we do pay rent, it is still his moms house at the end of the day. I know he probably feels that he has a right to be here, and I don�t want to make him think he isn�t welcome to visit. I was told to say something, but I feel like it�s crossing a line considering he lived here for 20 years and i�ve lived here for 1.

If only there was a compromise... on involving sharing of the weed.... Hmm.

# ? Jul 2, 2022 18:12

Baron von Eevl: Jan 24, 2005; WHITE NOISE
GENERATOR
🔊😴

value-brand cereal posted:

AITA for not wanting my boyfriend�s brother to stay/crash at our house?

If only there was a compromise... on involving sharing of the weed.... Hmm.

"I was told to say something" no how about the shithead's spineless brother says something?

# ? Jul 2, 2022 18:21

Defiance Industries: Jul 22, 2010; A five-star manufacturer

boofhead posted:

That reminds me- when abusive people use (self-) therapy as a tool or justification for their abusive behaviour, is that still weaponised therapy or is that term only ever used for when an abuser manipulates their therapist into it? What do you call it when someone incorporates the language and justification of therapy/self-help into their abuse

I call it "weaponized victimhood" myself

# ? Jul 2, 2022 19:01

Mustang: Jun 18, 2006; “We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”

value-brand cereal posted:

Call me a lil spineless but I'd rather have a drunk friend off the streets and toss them out in the morning for being a ditching rear end in a top hat.

Nah, they're all adults and capable of taking care of themselves. Who asks to crash at someone's place and then ditches them at the first opportunity? This person isn't her friend and deserves nothing from her.

# ? Jul 2, 2022 19:40

Quackles: Aug 11, 2018; Pixels of Light.

The Bramble posted:

My (M36) influencer GF (F35) is locked in the bathroom and won't leave until I apologize, I don't know what she wants me to apologize for. She is sharing the situation with her audience.

I dug up the post, and the comments aren't elucidating but they are interesting:

OP posted:

I thought maybe the car made her upset? Once she made me lease a Mercedes for a month so she could show it of in her Instagram account. She never wants to share pictures of my actual car.

OP posted:

Yeah it is not easy dating an influencer. It is not the first time she does this. I am very private and don't like having my face on social media. She still posts pictures of me, where my face is blurred out. Which I guess technically is not posting pictures of me online, but This is also something we had arguments over.

Sometimes she also makes dancing videos in the living room of my apartment, where she basically lives at this point.

# ? Jul 2, 2022 20:05

value-brand cereal: May 2, 2008

Mustang posted:

Nah, they're all adults and capable of taking care of themselves. Who asks to crash at someone's place and then ditches them at the first opportunity? This person isn't her friend and deserves nothing from her.

I don't disagree hence the 'toss them out in the morning'. But I'd rather deal with an rear end in a top hat in the morning than knowing a person may have gotten assaulted, arrested for being not white at odd hours, or otherwise in danger because of me. In this hypothetical situation I'd want to be the bigger person and care for someone, you know? It's a lovely world that wants not white people dead, we gotta look out for each other. Within reason and not without consequences for being a dickhead, tho.

Unrelated but it's absolutely bizarre that 30+ yos are influencers. Hell on earth, so to speak and so forth.

# ? Jul 2, 2022 20:09

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# ? May 31, 2024 11:20

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

I would fully expect them to put me through the wringer for the likes at some point, that's literally her "job" and there's no barrier between it and real life.

# ? Jul 2, 2022 20:10

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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