r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Mx. posted:

AITA for telling my sister and BIL they're 'lovely excuse for parents', after learning they threw out my niece's books?

Lol tell your illiterate family to :flip:

# ? Jul 7, 2022 00:55

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# ? May 28, 2024 08:57

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Mx. posted:

AITA for telling my sister and BIL they're 'lovely excuse for parents', after learning they threw out my niece's books?

They think Liz wastes time reading so much and it'd be better for her to spend that time studying or picking up new skills.

I know they are talking about reading for fun but this sentence still makes me laugh.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 01:04

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Isn't it a well-known "problem" that people who grow chickens in their yard find they have way more eggs than they have anything to do with?

Yeah, it's super easy to just start piling up eggs in the fridge with even a moderate number of chickens, I imagine a lot of folks are surprised by the realization of how many they're getting vs what they typically use.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 01:15

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Cythereal posted:

I found this one wholesome.

WIBTA for wanting to go through a marriage pact with my same sex, straight best friend?

Goddamn people trying to get benefits to protect their family and ensure they can legally spend time with the people they care most about via the approved legal method without having a sexual interest in each other that has historically shown no correlation to how long both parties want this legal contract to last

# ? Jul 7, 2022 01:17

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Baron von Eevl posted:

How is that 3 years old and they're isn't an update that they realized they are in fact gay?

Even if they're not gay/bi, it's not like marriages of convenience are foreign to straight couples or whatever.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 01:35

AmiYumi: Oct 10, 2005; I FORGOT TO HAIL KING TORG

Hughlander posted:

AITA for bringing eggs to a vegan wedding?

Being a vegan wedding was the focus, not my love and commitment to your brother! GET WITH THE PROGRAM!

How does OP not realize they brought the greatest possible wedding gift: the ability for the bride at a vegan-focused wedding with vegan catering to still pull :smug:

�I�M A VEGAN� :smug:

# ? Jul 7, 2022 01:38

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for demanding my phone back from my fianc� and acting �shady�?

the best thing to do is get married as quickly as possible so he knows that you're faithful to him, OP

do NOT bring eggs to the wedding

OP replies:
"Thank you all for the feedback. He finally spoke to me and is adamant that I was being shady. He said it started as a joke but when he saw my reaction he got suspicious and wanted to see where it went. I pointed out he could�ve checked my messages if he wanted to but he won�t acknowledge that. I�m not buying it, that�s a pretty lame excuse. I don�t plan on forgiving him unless he admits what he did was wrong and sincerely apologizes. Thank you all for making me feel less crazy because I honestly just can�t believe this situation."

BF is shady

# ? Jul 7, 2022 01:40

SyNack Sassimov: May 4, 2006; Let the robot win.
��--Captain James T. Vader

Arsenic Lupin posted:

First of all, I do not believe in free-roaming wild hens in most of the world because predators exist.

Ahem.

*points to Hawaii*

# ? Jul 7, 2022 01:46

value-brand cereal: May 2, 2008

Hollywood Freeway chickens

quote:

The Hollywood Freeway chickens are a colony of feral chickens that live under the Vineland Avenue off-ramp of the Hollywood Freeway (U.S. Route 101) in Los Angeles, California. It is not definitively known how they came to be there, although news stories generally ascribe them to an overturned poultry truck.[1][2][3]

Chickens underneath the Vineland off-ramp became local celebrities upon their arrival sometime around 1970. By 1976, the flock included about 50 of the chickens, described as Rhode Island Reds.[3] They became known as "Minnie's chickens",[4] named after Minnie Blumfield, an elderly retiree who fed them regularly.[2] When she became too frail to feed them, a young actress, Jodie Mann, with Actors and Others for Animals made arrangements to relocate the chickens.[5] Nearly a hundred of the hens and roosters were relocated to a ranch in Simi Valley, California.[6] But not every member of the flock was apprehended, and those that remained spawned a new population. Subsequent removal efforts in the following years all had a similar outcome.

The first colony at the Vineland ramp has spread and there is now a second colony at the Burbank ramp, two miles away.[7]

The survival of the chicken colony and their spreading to another freeway ramp has inspired a short story by Terry Pratchett, "Hollywood Chickens".[8]

I love the concept of never ending chicken flocks. Oh yeah you can try to catch them, but like cicadas they just come back. Bok bok bok!

# ? Jul 7, 2022 01:53

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

Hollywood Chickens are a million times more welcome than those lovely Pasadena Parrots.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 02:57

Pleads: Jun 9, 2005; pew pew pew

Das Boo posted:

Hollywood Chickens are a million times more welcome than those lovely Pasadena Parrots.

lmao I recently learned that a buddy lives on the route that some loud rear end parrots take through central LA, are those the same ones? I did not know it was a thing, and the idea that some birds are louder than the 10 being 100ft from his house is wild.

Apparently people have brought it up on his work zoom calls they're so loud.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 03:02

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

That's them! They also float around Burbank and Eagle Rock being massive dicks.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 03:06

PancakeTransmission: May 27, 2007; You gotta improvise, Lisa: cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust...; Plaster Town Cop

Cythereal posted:

I found this one wholesome.

WIBTA for wanting to go through a marriage pact with my same sex, straight best friend?

First three lines, I thought it was going to be a dude getting upset that the woman was reneging on a high school "promise". Like he had a countdown timer and all, pretty sure I've seen a post like that before. Pleasantly surprised!

# ? Jul 7, 2022 03:09

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

I am delighted to be wrong about the feral chickens.

I was once on a corporate 'retreat' to a fancy hotel which had parrots in cages all over the place. It also had an open bar.

Let me tell you, you do not want to be eating breakfast, with a hangover, while surrounded by parrots.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 03:21

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

edogawa rando posted:

Just rewrite the lyrics to make it the horniest goddamned song on the planet. Make everyone super-uncomfortable.

Or get up there and sing 'Afternoon Delight' or 'Like A Praye'r that most people don't realise are super horny.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 03:25

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

Arsenic Lupin posted:

I am delighted to be wrong about the feral chickens.

I was once on a corporate 'retreat' to a fancy hotel which had parrots in cages all over the place. It also had an open bar.

Let me tell you, you do not want to be eating breakfast, with a hangover, while surrounded by parrots.

At least they were in cages. There are places in Australia where the lorikeets will come to your table and steal your jam packets.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 03:32

Benagain: Oct 10, 2007; Can you see that I am serious?; Fun Shoe

I was at a b&b in bolivia and one of their toucans took my bread

# ? Jul 7, 2022 03:33

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Benagain posted:

I was at a b&b in bolivia and one of their toucans took my bread

there's a cafe at a bird sanctuary here in nz where they had to put up signs warning people that one of the native takahe has learned that tourists are free food, and he will try to take it off your plate

# ? Jul 7, 2022 03:34

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

Egg themed content

I pranked my mom and my sister is mad at me and said she didn�t like it.

quote:

So today on Instagram, I (F,20)saw a clip of Gordan Ramsay�s daughter pranking him with a water bottle and an egg. Since I never pranked my mom(F,59), I was contemplating on doing it because I genuinely thought it was funny and I know that my mom find everything funny. So I decided to do the same prank thing to my mom, we laughed a lot and I recorded it and sent it to my sister(F, 39). My sister got upset and said that she did not find it funny at all and thought it was something terrible to do. I didn�t really view it that way since my mom thought it was funny too. Now I�m kinda ashamed of what I did and my sister is now mad at me and said that she�s disappointed. I don�t know how to feel�should I apologize to my mom or something?

Tl;dr: my sister got upset that I pranked my mom. My mom thought it was funny and now my sister is making a big deal out of it.

The video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3szeghJNA8

# ? Jul 7, 2022 03:38

Paper Tiger: Jun 17, 2007; 🖨️🐯torn apart by idle hands

A damned kookaburra stole fish off my plate at the Taronga zoo in Sydney, leaving me only with chips! :argh:

# ? Jul 7, 2022 03:44

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Paper Tiger posted:

A damned kookaburra stole fish off my plate at the Taronga zoo in Sydney, leaving me only with chips!

Bet it laughed at you, too!

# ? Jul 7, 2022 03:57

edogawa rando: Mar 20, 2007

The Bramble posted:

Egg themed content

I pranked my mom and my sister is mad at me and said she didn’t like it.

The video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3szeghJNA8

OP, tell your sister to gently caress off.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 04:20

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

AITA for not balding

quote:

My dad is bald, five of my six brothers are bald and my last brother is on his way. My uncle is balding and apparently my grandfathers on both sides had no hair too. I'm 34, past the age any of them had lost their hair and I still have all of mine.

Apparently being bald is some bizarre cult identity for all of the guys in my family now and every time there is a family gathering there is huge drama. I have told to shave it and been accused by my brothers of getting secret hair transplants, using anti-baldness medication etc. My Dad won't speak to me right now because over Christmas he kept joking I wasn't actually his child and mentioning I should go and check with a doctor to 'check everything is okay'. I did get very angry and told them it was ridiculous and being bald shouldn't be part of their Identities.

I am very happy and proud of my hair and the whole thing just feels ridiculous and smells of jealousy to me. They think I am an rear end in a top hat for the crime of having hair and for not laughing along, but the jokes barely conceal some real contempt and I've had enough of it.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 04:35

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for not balding

Keep growing it longer. Whenever they whine about it just woosh it in their faces.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 04:38

Lottery of Babylon: Apr 25, 2012; STRAIGHT TROPIN'

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Keep growing it longer. Whenever they whine about it just woosh it in their faces.

Finally a context in which the Willow Smith solution to haters makes sense.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 05:12

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Grow it long and dye it a horrifying color

# ? Jul 7, 2022 05:13

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Lottery of Babylon posted:

Finally a problem in which the Peanut Butter solution makes sense.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 05:16

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

AITA for refusing to go with my wife to see her family even though she payed for the trip?

quote:

So me and my wife have been married for 3 years and together for 6 years. I have a son (18M) from a previous relationship, she has a daughter (7F) from a previous relationship and we have a daughter together (4F).

My son loves his sisters, both of them, but never got on with my wife, he had a horrible relationship with his bio mother and my wife was a bit pushy with trying to have a relationship with him. He�s not rude or anything he�s just not much of a talker with her.

So my son had gotten tickets to see an artist called cavetown in November, going is really important to him and he had brought the tickets (one for him and one for a friend he was going with) himself. Now my wife knew he was going but since he hadn�t talked much about it with her she didn�t know when.

She had booked a family trip to go see her family, who live overseas, which included the weekend my son was meant to go to the concert. I knew she was booking a trip and I told her to make sure it doesn�t overlap with my work or any of my son�s plans so I thought she would have asked him.

She was pretty upset when she found out, and was furious when my son asked to just stay home so he could still go to the concert. So she decided to sell his tickets. I found out because she told me to tell my son because she �doesn�t like how she�s always the bad guy when it comes to him�

I told her no way and that she was completely in the wrong, we argued for a while until I just told her me, my son and our daughter won�t be going (I�m not her legal dad so I have no say over her daughter) she said this was important to her, I said this concert was important to my son, she said I was prioritising him over her then left.

Ice told my son and consoled him, we�ve been looking at tickets but it�s sold out and all the resale ones are triple the price, what was �48 when he first brought them are now over �120, which he can�t afford and nor can I. I�ve told my wife I expect her to replace them but she refuses, all she will do is give my son the money she got from selling them, but she sold them for their face value so made no profit. I�m not questioning if she is TA, I can see she is, but I don�t think refusing to go see her family and stopping our kids form going is the right thing, so AITA?

Since the writing isn't real clear. She stole the son's tickets and sold them so he couldn't go...

The title is wrong he doesn't have a trip problem he has a wife problem.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 05:32

Xlorp: Jan 23, 2008

Kurieg posted:

AITA for uninviting my gay brother and his boyfriend to my wedding?

So why not wear a greyscale rainbow tux? Hells bells man, show up in coordinating dazzle camo patterned clothing.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 05:45

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

AITA for asking my husband to carry me on the way back from a hike?

reddit posted:

I went on a hike with my husband and a group of his friends.

On the way back I asked my husband to carry me the rest of the way. He was having a conversation with three of his friends when I asked but they went quiet after I interrupted. I told them they could keep talking and ignore me but one of the women told me their conversation was private and that I shouldn’t have come if I couldn’t handle it even though she and others had asked more than once if the group could take a break, so I was obviously not the only one struggling.

It was super awkward since she was obviously annoyed by me but also continued walking next to us. A few other spouses asked to be carried and it caused some arguments when they were told no, and she made a comment about how it was my fault.

My husband told her to stop and then made a joke about his friends being too weak to carry their spouses which caused some of them to try. This ended up slowing the whole group down and the woman kept making indirect comments blaming me for ruining the hike.

AITA?

What?

# ? Jul 7, 2022 06:13

odiv: Jan 12, 2003

I think the missing information is that he did carry her instead of saying no that's ridiculous.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 06:34

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Baron von Eevl posted:

Again, the funniest part is that her friends are all going to the alps so she's going to Denver. This isn't her being invited to tag along on a better trip, this is her hearing sometime else is doing something great and deciding to do something not as cool and completely alone while also torching her relationship.

Is hiking the Rocky Mountains as cool as hiking the Alps? No, absolutely not. Still pretty cool though

Is hiking the Rocky Mountains better than spending even one second in Ohio? lol yes definitely

# ? Jul 7, 2022 06:48

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for opposing English only rule a new housemate is trying to impose?

quote:

I live with 5 other people in a big house, we�re all students. Unfortunately, one of the girls who was supposed to live with us (we moved in just a few weeks ago after the term ended) changed her mind and we had to find new roommate in her place. This girl, Siobhan, is friend of a friend of a friend kind of person but we couldn�t really be picky as our rent would go up significantly if we had an empty room.

Anyway, English isn�t my first language although I speak it rather well (or I like to think that I do) but because of that, I have friends and family abroad who don�t speak English thus when speaking to them, speak my mother tongue. Obvious, right? Well, apparently not to siobhan. She�s been growing more and more agitated with me because she can hear me. She said not even part of the conversation, I�m in my room with doors locked, FaceTiming someone like my mom Whenever with my housemates, I speak language all understand.

Siobhan is really annoyed with that and told me that I�m being incredibly rude and that we shouldn�t introduce a rule that in this house we only speak English. I laughed at her because I didn�t think she was being serious.

The rest of my housemates are on holiday atm and will be back next week and Siobhan wants to vote on that rule when they�re back. She also blew up at me yesterday because I was in the kitchen, having headphones on, chatting with my friend who lives abroad. That�s where I might be an rear end in a top hat as the kitchen is communal area. But am I the rear end in a top hat for not agreeing to speak english only in my room?

# ? Jul 7, 2022 06:54

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

There are multiple beaches in Maui where feral cats and feral chickens coexist in an uneasy truce, I have never seen any corpses of either species. I guess the roosters are big enough to keep the cats from doing too much and everyone gets food from the campers

(it is illegal to camp on the beaches, but it is legal to fish all night and to sleep in a tent next to a fishing pole stuck in the sand, but only if the beach is known for being a good fishing spot)

# ? Jul 7, 2022 06:58

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

my chickens are forever testing if the cat is edible if he stays still too long

# ? Jul 7, 2022 06:59

AngryRobotsInc: Aug 2, 2011

Mx. posted:

AITA for opposing English only rule a new housemate is trying to impose?

I know it's probably a faux name for the roommate, but I really hope it's not. Because that would just be....amazing.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 07:23

greazeball: Feb 4, 2003

Unfortunately there are a lot of Irish people who can't sepeak a work of Gaelic. TG4 (the Gaelic broadcaster) made a show about a guy traveling across the country only speaking Gaelic and some of the people he interacted with (in Dublin especially) got really salty when he wouldn't speak English.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 07:55

Serephina: Nov 8, 2005; 恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー

random comment with no context:

quote:

OP, according to rareddit you have 37 deleted posts about how terrible your boyfriend is. You�ve posted about how he�s financially abusive, cold hearted, makes you feel unwanted, acts like a toddler, etc etc. you�ve received good advice every time, but is the plan to just keep posting about him?

lol

# ? Jul 7, 2022 08:09