UKMT Summer 2022 - The Pipes, The Pipes Are Empty

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT Summer 2022 - The Pipes, The Pipes Are Empty

Itzena: Aug 2, 2006; Nothing will improve the way things currently are.; Slime TrainerS

C'mon Boris, you can still do it.

Do the press statement thing and announce a General Election in six weeks time instead of (or as well as) your resignation.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 09:48

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# ? May 26, 2024 00:38

Loonytoad Quack: Aug 24, 2004; High on Shatner's Bassoon

EvilHawk posted:

The BBC have been told and Downing Street have said he will make an announcement just before lunchtime.

Hoping that this has all been done without Boris' agreement and he makes a statement at lunch refusing to resign and asking people to march on No. 10.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 09:48

EvilHawk: Sep 15, 2009; LIVARPOOL!

Klopp's 13pts clear thanks to video ref

Loonytoad Quack posted:

Hoping that this has all been done without Boris' agreement and he makes a statement at lunch refusing to resign and asking people to march on No. 10.

Unfortunately the word is he already spoke to the 1922 committee to confirm his resignation.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 09:48

forkboy84: Jun 13, 2012; Corgis love bread. And Puro

EvilHawk posted:

The BBC have been told and Downing Street have said he will make an announcement just before lunchtime.

BBC, Sky, Mirror, everyone at this point is the source.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 09:49

big scary monsters: Sep 2, 2011; -~Ｓｋｕｌｌｗａｖｅ~-

Yes I'm resigning... resigning myself to staying PM forever SUCKERS. Now I've got the front bench all to myself nobody can stop me.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 09:50

TACD: Oct 27, 2000

Noxville posted:

Comedy option: Johnson isn�t going to resign, it�s people feeding this to the media to try and force his hand

I really hope it�s this though, I want him to walk out to that podium and calmly announce his intention to stay and finish the job

# ? Jul 7, 2022 09:51

fuctifino: Jun 11, 2001

I'm wondering if Boris actually knows that he's resigning today? He could still be asleep in an alcohol fuelled coma after last night's drinking binge.

e: lol, I wasn't the only person to think this. I should also refresh before posting.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 09:51

britishbornandbread: Jul 8, 2000; You'll stumble in my footsteps

# ? Jul 7, 2022 09:53

Grey Hunter: Oct 17, 2007; Hero of the soviet union.
Accidental destroyer of planets

So General election either late this year or early next?

Whoever wins will want to get in on the new leader bounce, and while the lies of "only I can fix the mistakes of Boris Johnson" works. Any longer than six months and their own scandles start creeping in and people will see nothing has changed.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 09:53

EvilHawk: Sep 15, 2009; LIVARPOOL!

Klopp's 13pts clear thanks to video ref

Grey Hunter posted:

So General election either late this year or early next?

Whoever wins will want to get in on the new leader bounce, and while the lies of "only I can fix the mistakes of Boris Johnson" works. Any longer than six months and their own scandles start creeping in and people will see nothing has changed.

If Kier is fined then 100%, otherwise I dunno they might take a couple of years to try and get away from Boris's stench.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 09:55

Skarsnik: Oct 21, 2008; I...AM...RUUUDE!

# ? Jul 7, 2022 09:57

Failed Imagineer: Sep 22, 2018

They'll film 2 speeches - a resignation speech, and a bravely staying on speech - and then intercut between the two speeches every few seconds to fully disorientate the viewer, just like Willem Defoe's interview scene in American Psycho

# ? Jul 7, 2022 09:57

Paperhouse: Dec 31, 2008; I think
your hair
looks much
better
pushed
over to
one side

the most Johnson resignation possible

# ? Jul 7, 2022 09:58

InspectorCarbonara: Jul 2, 2010; Evening, patrolmaaan.

Angepain posted:

https://twitter.com/DailyMailUK/status/1544799284733902852

I love them parading round the 14m figure, but then as a numbers nerd I might be assuming that "the uk population is like 60-70 million" is more common knowledge than it actually is

so is this the new "crush the saboteurs"?

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:00

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Failed Imagineer posted:

They'll film 2 speeches - a resignation speech, and a bravely staying on speech - and then intercut between the two speeches every few seconds to fully disorientate the viewer, just like Willem Defoe's interview scene in American Psycho

Then in 50 years time they'll reveal his private diary is half the American Psycho notebook and half the Mean Girls one.

"Michael Gove is a fugly bitch DO NOT trust him."

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:00

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

he's going to build the GB-ireland bridge and declare war on norway and build a fusion plant based on his understanding of what fusion power is and scenes from You Only Live Twice

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:00

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

Guavanaut posted:

"Michael Gove is a fugly bitch DO NOT trust him."

he's right though

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:00

BigglesSWE: Dec 2, 2014; How 'bout them hawks news huh!

Boris is currently sacrificing a chicken to Baal in the hopes that he�ll get the Queen to die unexpectedly and remove all attention from him.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:00

Desiderata: May 25, 2005; Go placidly amid the noise and haste...

This ends with Boris in charge of a Lib-Lab coalition in government.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:03

Antigravitas: Dec 8, 2019; Die Rettung fuer die Landwirte:

Looking across the channel with bemusement.

So, how's Britain Trump doing?

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:03

NotJustANumber99: Feb 15, 2012; somehow that last av was even worse than your posting

Radio just said he's resigned as leader of the Tory party, not as prime minister.

I guess that's just technically the way it works.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:04

Skull Servant: Oct 25, 2009

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:06

Jedit: Dec 10, 2011; Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

NotJustANumber99 posted:

Radio just said he's resigned as leader of the Tory party, not as prime minister.

I guess that's just technically the way it works.

It is. But now the Tories can name anyone they want as interim PM until a leadership election is complete. And since none of them will work with Johnson, it won't be him.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:06

Convex: Aug 19, 2010

maybe next time round we can collect all of the brexit emeralds

Convex fucked around with this message at 10:09 on Jul 7, 2022

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:06

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Is it "massive cock end" Roy?

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:07

Nenonen: Oct 22, 2009; Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa

NotJustANumber99 posted:

Its maybe so he can say he lasted longer than May?

Well he can stop now, it's July already

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:08

Rustybear: Nov 16, 2006; what the thunder said

he's absolutely going to un-resign given the smallest window of opportunity

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:08

fuctifino: Jun 11, 2001

Seeing as he'll have no ministers or advisors to advise, could he poke a lovely stick at the Ukraine/Russia situation while Parliament is in recess, involve us militarily, and then invoke emergency powers to suspend democracy as Churchill did during WW2?

It would mean he'd still get to keep his free country mansion and all the trimmings.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:11

the sex ghost: Sep 6, 2009

Looking forward to his new role as permanent host of HIGNFY

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:11

Failed Imagineer: Sep 22, 2018

the sex ghost posted:

Looking forward to his new role as permanent host of HIGNFY

Honestly it would be perfect - quarantine him somewhere that hasn't been relevant or funny in 20 years to spout all the nasty poo poo about bumboys and postboxes and whatnot as he wishes

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:15

Gravitas Shortfall: Jul 17, 2007; Utility is seven-eighths Proximity.

Senor Tron posted:

The classic Australian method is just for people to turn on the 6pm news and find out that the country unexpectedly has a new PM.

If only he'd take the true Australian method and disappear on a beach

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:15

Toplowtech: Aug 31, 2004

the sex ghost posted:

Looking forward to his new role as permanent host of HIGNFY

I am looking forward for all his pathetics attempts to become prime minister again. I wonder how many people will die this time? :france:

I mean, Ian Hislop and Paul Merton doesn't deserve that level of pain.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:15

Halisnacks: Jul 18, 2009

Will he do his resignation speech with or without Carrie by his side?

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:17

KayTee: May 5, 2012; Whachoodoin?

BigglesSWE posted:

Someone please make sure Larry the cat is okay.

Also resigned.

https://twitter.com/richard_price2/status/1544966273695727619

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:18

Jedit: Dec 10, 2011; Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

Failed Imagineer posted:

Honestly it would be perfect - quarantine him somewhere that hasn't been relevant or funny in 20 years to spout all the nasty poo poo about bumboys and postboxes and whatnot as he wishes

If Angus Deayton couldn't come back because of all the poo poo Hislop and Merton were giving him, imagine how Boris would manage.

I mean, it's a pleasant thought, but the Beeb aren't going to televise it.

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:19

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

Jedit posted:

If Angus Deayton couldn't come back because of all the poo poo Hislop and Merton were giving him, imagine how Boris would manage.

I mean, it's a pleasant thought, but the Beeb aren't going to televise it.

obviously he would sack them and run the show himself.

which might be an improvement

# ? Jul 7, 2022 10:21