teen witch posted:

And like don’t get kvetching to a friend about something lovely someone else did as a narcy narc and the DARVO bunch thing to do. That’s normal. If you have a lovely ex and want to complain to a friend for a bit to just be heard or have a shoulder to cry on, for the most part, is fine. Spill some tea, prep a bong, make fun of your ex’s top heavy dong.

Now, asking said friend to, oh, harass someone for them on social media or drive by their apartment? Nnnnaaaahhh. Maybe give top heavy dong ex a dirty look at a party but nothing more than that, if that. Im not going to say “take them back”, I’d be a fool to do your dirty work.

quote:

Since the beginning of summer. My parents convinced me to hire my sister (19F) to babysit my 2 kids while I'm at work. My kids are 5M & 4M. Everything was going well. Until I came home late in the evening and found my sister who was drinking alcohol & was drunk & her heavily drunk boyfriend who was throwing up in my bathroom. This pissed me off because she wasn't supposed to be drinking any alcohol when watching my kids and she brought her boyfriend to my house who I haven't even met yet. When I asked her where my kids were she did not even know. I found them outside digging in the yard.

After this happened, I kicked both of them out of my house & fired my sister. She then blew up at me saying that It wasn't right to fire her all because she had a little to drink. My parents got involved & told me that I was overreacting & was being inconsiderate . They even tried to assure me that my kids were find & nothing bad happened, but I tried to tell them that that wasn't the point.

Am I the rear end in a top hat here?

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for firing my babysitter for drinking alcohol when she was watching my kids?

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for firing my babysitter for drinking alcohol when she was watching my kids?

Absurd Alhazred posted:

AITA for ruining my brother's marriage because his wife left me at the pool

quote:

first, thank you to everyone who read the original post and reassured me. It helped a lot and I understand now that my bros marriage was rocky before bri pulled the stunt in my original post. I'm not good at Reddit (usually just silently read posts) and my update kept getting deleted on the AITA sub but a ton of folks asked for it, so here it is:

I called my bro to check on things, thank him again and see how he and my niece were doing and he told me some things about bri and why hes divorcing her. i don't think she's cheated on him or anything like a lot of people in the original post thought, at least my bro never said anything about that, but yall were right about the incident with me being the straw that broke the camels back and that I'm not the only victim of bri being careless.

a while back I guess my bro came home early from work and found my niece (2yo) alone in their house with the front door unlocked. he called bri 3 or 4 times with no answer and she came in the front door right before he was about to call the cops. Apparently she went to the convenience store like a 5 minute drive from their place and left my niece by herself. When my brother yelled at her she said it was fine because nothing bad happened, and when he said the door was unlocked she just said she mustve forgot and that it wasn't a big deal. Her phone was silenced on the charger in their bedroom which is why she didn't answer when he called. Bri called him dramatic and told him to stop telling her how to parent and that niece was fine for 20 minutes while she shopped for dinner stuff.

My bro is taking some time off work to take careof my niece because he kicked bri out of their house the same day I had my surgery. she is staying at a hotel that bro is paying for and he gave her two weeks (more like one and a half now) to find a place before he quits paying for it. He says he's going for full custody because bri is a danger to my niece and doesn’t trust her anymore. she tried to argue when he kicked her out but he threatened to call the police for what she did to me which I guess scared her because she left.

Sorry it isn’t a very exciting update but that's all bro would tell me, I think this isn’t the first time bri neglected niece too but he said he's doing what it takes to make sure it doesn’t happen again. He also said he doesn’t think that bri is completely malicious but is extremely careless and doesn’t believe her actions affect other people which is why she cant be trusted not to hurt others by being selfish.

I'm doing well after my surgery even after everything that happened so thank you all for the good wishes and advice! I've gotten a lot of messages and sweet words and it's a little too overwhelming to respond to all of them but it still makes me feel a lot better about everything. so thank you again.

Kurieg posted:

no more.
UPDATE: AITA for ruining my brother's marriage because his wife left me at the pool?

DoubleNegative posted:

There was one in the past couple of months where this dude met a lady and hit it off well and she kept wolves. I can't remember when it was posted, though.

DoubleNegative posted:

There was one in the past couple of months where this dude met a lady and hit it off well and she kept wolves. I can't remember when it was posted, though.

Evil Willow posted:

I absolutely love this story!

First date was interesting to say the least.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

DoubleNegative posted:

Sweet, thanks. Gonna be laughing at the woman just casually scolding a wolf all day.

teen witch posted:

Oh, content is what you seek? Well…

The girl I’m (36M) dating (33F) sent me a hot selfie then posted it on her IG story. Am I wrong to be annoyed/jealous?

As someone who has been the girl in question (minus the positive attributes, I’m a solid 4), god I wish I had the nerve then to tell the guy to piss up a rope. God forbid I feel confidence!

quote:

I (25M) and my partner, Lana (28F) moved out of my home country five years ago due to my partner getting a job offer she was passionate about, so I quit my job and moved, I have since also found a good job. My house is a 14h+ flight away from the rest of my family, but since me and my partner have good paying jobs we are able to fly home for important holidays or events (we usually stay at my dad's or her parents' house).

Two years ago, my niece Lexie (19F) decided to study in a University in my city, so I offered to house her so my half brother (her father, 36M) wouldn't have to pay extra expenses on top of her tuition, or stress over her living with strangers. The courses she was taking finished a few weeks ago, and she was meant to leave a few days ago (we decided to extend her stay so she could say goodbye to her friends, do a bit of partying, and enjoy the country without the stress of school). Lexie now claims she has fallen in love with the country and doesn't want to leave.

Thing is, me and my partner are tired of her. We want her to leave, she's a lovely kid, but it's been two years of dealing with her and we want some peace and quiet, so we told her that we were sorry, but we couldn't house her anymore. She didn't take this well and offered to pay us for rent, or split the bills, but money was never the issue. She calmed down eventually, and the morning of her flight, she got everything ready, and I drove her to the airport to say goodbye, I didn't stay there since I had other things to attend to (work, and cleaning the guest room).

Lexie purposely missed her flight and called me hours later so I would pick her up from the airport, explaining how we had no other option than to let her stay. I could tell from her smugness that she missed her flight on purpose, so I asked her and she got defensive and started rambling about how it was my own fault that she was forced to do this, and that I should've just let her stay. I told her to gently caress off, and left her stranded. My half brother is now blowing up my phone (the rest of my family is too) and begging me to take her in for a few more weeks, and asking me to fly back with her to make sure she doesn't pull the same thing a second time. I told them that I've already done more than enough, and that Lexie is 19 now and she should be acting like a responsible girl and taking care of herself.

Lexie has been staying at a hotel for the last few days, but her funds are slowly draining and she doesn't have nearly enough to house and feed herself for much longer. Lana and I don't know what to do, my family is begging us to help - I had to turn off my personal phone because I couldn't deal with them.

AITA? After all, she is just a child...

quote:

Due to having to stay at a hotel, and feed herself, she has burnt through the funds she had and can't afford a ticket back to our home country now - the more she stays here the more money she spends, to she can't even wait for the flights to get cheaper. My brother doesn't want to send her money for a ticket because she might miss the flight again, or use it to spend more time here, I would offer to help but I feel betrayed and angry.

quote:

My wife made her wedding dress with her mother. Its very sentimental to her and she was very proud of it. It was simple but freaking gorgeous. She has always said she would love for our kids to wear her dress at their wedding. We have 3 daughters (34, 30, 25) and 1 son (28). My wife made it known that the dress was not to be altered except to be taken in/let out so it could be kept and reworn. Our youngest daughter didn't wear it. Our DIL wore it for their reception and our son held it up against him for some pre-wedding bridal pictures so he wasn't left out...he totally rocked it. Oldest daughter wore it for her wedding.

We've offered some financial contributions to all our children towards either school, a wedding, or a house downpayment. Olivia has asked for help paying for her wedding.

The wedding is in the beginning of August. A few months ago Olivia asked my wife if she could use the dress for her wedding and my wife gave her the dress so Olivia could get it fitted with plenty of time. Tuesday Olivia asked me to go with her to pay some vendors, one of the stops was the tailor shop for a final fitting and pay the seamstress. Olivia was really nervous and I figured it was just usual pre-wedding jitters and excitement.

The dress Olivia came out in was not at all her mother's dress. It was a completely different dress with parts of her mother's gown added to it. She took the straps, the sash, the train, and the embroidered top skirt and had it added to this new dress. I was befuddled for a bit and then asked what the hell this was. Olivia's reasoning was that she was the last of our kids to get married and there wasn't anyone else to wear it and she made sure to instruct they keep the original dress to be returned to her. I told her that's not the same, she knows it, and the dress was never hers to do with what she wanted. I asked the seamstress for the rest of my wife's dress and had Olivia tell my wife in person what she had done. My wife was devastated. I have since canceled the payments I made that day and told her I won't be paying another cent to her wedding. She and her fiance can figure it out. Our youngest daughter thinks I've gone overboard knowing Olivia planned her wedding with our help in mind and without it, she can't finish paying for everything. Olivia's future in-laws also agree with that- they can't afford to help and suggested I should pay, and then we just go low contact with Olivia. I've told them both that Olivia took something irreplaceable from her mother for her own vanity. I know we originally offered help with the wedding but I think Olivia’s actions warrant canceling that offer. AITA?

Edit: Thank you everyone for the responses. My wife and I will look at more of them tomorrow and discuss the subject further. Just want to address a misconception- We have not gone low or no contact with Olivia; her inlaws suggested it and that is insane. My wife's initial reaction to finding out Tuesday was to not go to the wedding; that was said in anger and not a done deal. It'd probably depend a lot on Olivia's handling until then as well. Taking her dress she paid for would hurt our relationship with her just as much as not paying for anything else. Which is why we are discussing our options and skimming comments for things we have not thought of and are doable.

Kurieg posted:

AITA For Refusing to House My Niece After She Purposely Missed Her Flight?
Hey younger brother please pay to fly your niece home and also fly back with her because she's completely untrustworthy."

holtemon posted:

As the guy who's been in this same situation, I get what you're saying about wanting to feel confident, but at the same time it was originally just a private thing between boyfriend and girlfriend that now all the dudes on her Facebook/Instagram/whatever now get to join in with it too. It can make you feel a little annoyed that you gotta share your girlfriend with everyone else on her socials.

quote:

My SiL and her husband arrived last night. As we were helping them get their stuff into the guest room, her husband, who I've met like three times, said "waffles for breakfast would be great." I was a bit taken aback, but then I assumed it was a joke that didn't land well. We don't have a waffle iron anyway.

I made the usual eggs, beans and toast for breakfast. When SiL and her husband came in he frowned and asked where the waffles were. I said I didn't make any. He asked why. I was a touch annoyed and said this isn't a restaurant. He said they are guests and their needs should be taken into account. Then he said he was allergic to beans.

I asked why he didn't tell me he was allergic to beans. He said he told me he wanted waffles and the reason why shouldn't matter because they are guests. My husband jumped in and said eat eggs and toast or go get breakfast elsewhere. He left with SiL. Did I break an etiquette rule? Was I an rear end?

quote:

Title is long so apologies, throwaway and names changed.

I’m (28f) due to marry my fiancé Dean (30m) in a month. We’ve been together for 11 years and have a girl Ella(5). Important info, Ella has autism, high functioning. She’s incredibly quiet, keeps to herself, very polite and acts more mature than some adults I know. Obviously we want her there, she just wants to go as a guest, thats fine. She is the only child under 16 allowed at our wedding.

I was talking to mum the other day about final plans when she asked me about childcare for Ella. I was confused as we’ve made it clear from the start Ella would be there, to which mum said that ‘as sis isn’t allowed to bring her kids, we assumed Ella wouldn’t be there either because of their autism.’

BS on sis (F34.) She has twins, M&F 7. When they were 3, her ex caught her cheating, dna test done, kids weren’t his, he left, she’s been a single mum since. Before he left, the kids were well behaved. Had manners, knew right from wrong etc. Once he left she gave up parenting. When Ella got diagnosed a year ago, she came up with the notion that her kids are also autistic. They are not, she has taken them to multiple specialists, they have all said they don’t have any mental disabilities. I know this because she moans that no one takes her seriously. She saw the same specialist that Ella saw and she told me that she’s incompetent as she could diagnose my kid but not hers.

Her kids act up a lot. E.g no one invites them to birthdays as last time, they had tantrums as they couldn’t open the birthday boys presents and had to be stopped from smashing the cake in retaliation. If they aren’t centre of attention they scream at the top of their lungs. I had to ban them from my house because the last time they visited they destroyed Ella’s favourite books because she said no to them playing with her toys. I do not want these kids at my wedding because i know they will act up, and sis won’t do anything because ‘they’re autistic, I can’t discipline them, they don’t understand.’ Luckily hers aren’t the only kids under 16 so she can’t claim I’ve singled them out.

I explained to mum, Ella was the only exemption from the rule as she’s ours. She suggested that maybe its best Ella stays home so my sisters kids wont feel left out. I politely told her no, and explained the other reasons for not wanting them there, but she kept insisting it was the right thing to do, or remove the rule for my sisters kids. After some back and fourth i had enough and just snapped. I told her to gently caress off, just because my sister was her favourite didnt mean she had to have everything about her/ her kids, and especially not at MY wedding.

Mum left upset at me, now i have her and sis up my rear end about it, mum saying to either leave Ella at home or let sis bring her kids. Sis because i said the kids misbehave. Dean is on my side, and joked about just uninviting them both, which I’m seriously considering now. But AITA here?

Update! So both I and Dean have been going through all the comments (or at least as many as we could, there have been so many.) We have decided against letting either my mum or sis come to the wedding. I made sure to message the venue and all my vendors setting a password that only we know and will be looking into hiring security for the big day. Luckily the way the venue is set out means it will be impossible for them to possibly sneak in and it will be made clear to security who to look out for.

Now onto mum… oh boy, to say she blew up is an understatement. She actually came over this morning again to try and force me to make either choice and i calmly made her aware that i am rescinding both of their invitations as I cannot trust them. At first she didn’t seem to believe me but when i stuck to my guns she started shouting at me that i was cruel, heartless, im playing favourites (with my own kid? of course she’s my favourite and I’m gonna choose her!.) I was the worst daughter ever and if thats how I was going to be then I can pretend I didn’t have a mum anymore.

I’ll be honest, i thought hearing that would hurt, but surprisingly it didn’t. I just shrugged and said ‘fine, I’ll pretend I don’t have a sister either, goodbye.’ I’ve never seen my mum speechless, so i just steered her to my front door, gave her a small shove out, and closed the door before she could retaliate. She did bang on the door for a bit but i refused to answer and she gave up. I have now blocked both her and my sister on everything. As well as made a post explaining whats been going on to everyone close to me on Facebook. Luckily most of them also don’t like my sister so I shouldn’t get any pushback from that.

Once we’ve have the wedding I’ll give an update, if anything interesting happens and there is one to give obviously. But thank you everyone for the words of encouragement!

holtemon posted:

As the guy who's been in this same situation, I get what you're saying about wanting to feel confident, but at the same time it was originally just a private thing between boyfriend and girlfriend that now all the dudes on her Facebook/Instagram/whatever now get to join in with it too. It can make you feel a little annoyed that you gotta share your girlfriend with everyone else on her socials.

Lottery of Babylon posted:

AITA for not making him what he wants?

Lottery of Babylon posted:

I agree, which is why I insist my girlfriend wear a frankenstein mask from a halloween store whenever she leaves the house, so I don't need to share her face with anyone else



AITA for not making him what he wants?

I'm allergic to nonwaffles

teen witch posted:

Anyone can jerk off to a regular image of myself, should they wish to. I’m not really in control over that (unless you want to know my rates). I signed no contract stating that images of myself are to be kept within messages, nor has it ever been an issue with prior lovers in the past or present, I’ll continue to “share” myself and my undeserved confidence.

And what if it isn’t an image? What if I’m merely at the beach and some stranger sees me and gets wet not of seawater? Am I violating an unspoken agreement? Do you look at images of others? Are you stealing from their partners?

I’m happy to not have this issue but to have the inverse: my partner adores when I show such images (which as of late have been far and few between, thanks SSRIs and MDD). They’re thrilled that others can see what they get to have. While it’s not for others, and I wouldn’t impose it (that’s what the close friends filter is for), it is the healthiest approach I’ve dealt with in a long time.

Lottery of Babylon posted:

AITA for not making him what he wants?

I'm allergic to nonwaffles

holtemon posted:

Or maybe I'm an rear end in a top hat lol

Kuros posted:

Here's a refreshing story for y'all.

AITA for telling my mum to gently caress off and refusing to have my sisters kids at my wedding, despite my daughter being there?

Minor formatting mine.

quote:

I'm a photographer. About half a year ago, a couple booked my "informal party" package for their event. It's my cheapest package, with my most expensive one being my wedding package. They were kinda dodgy about what kind of party it was, which was strange, but money is money, so I agreed.

The event was a couple weeks ago. As I pull up to the venue, lo and behold people are there in suits and dresses, and there's wedding decor everywhere. Oh boy. So I get in, and the bride and her mother intercept me. They immediately start ranting and berating me about how unprofessional I am for not being two hours early, and for wearing a polo shirt and cargo shorts to a wedding. I basically told them that they would stop taking that tone with me or I'd leave. Two bridesmaids intervene and basically herd the two women away from me and try to talk them down, while a third one takes over giving me poo poo for how I showed up, but the ceremony was about to start so she left.

At this point I was pissed off, but then again I already drove there and I wasn't told to leave, so I decided to stick through with it. A few more people approached me to give me crap, but I told them to f off and I'd only take criticism from the people footing my bill, i.e. the groom and bride. The couple apparently decided that having any photos at all was the worth ignoring me, and the only person who coordinated throughout the event was the groom's father, who managed to act civil.

Now I'm done editing and contacted the clients with my bill, but they and some of their friends have contacted asking for a discount because of how inappropriate I was. I don't see their point, but my fiancee suggested I could give them some symbolic victory like 5% off, because they may not have be able to afford my full wedding package. So, AITA?

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Is there such a thing as generational narcissism? I swear I've seen the pattern in stories of obviously narcissist parents moulding their golden child into a horrible little successor who is often even worse.

Those poor kids. Screaming violent kids don't usually have a great future ahead of them I imagine, though I bet there's some that manage to make a break and realise how hosed up they were treated and acted in turn.

CommissarMega posted:

I was re-reading the classic posts in the OP because I didn't have anything better to do, and when I got to the story about the lady and her boyfriend with the eagle, it triggered some kind of crazy deja vu. Was there ever a story here where one half of a relationship had a pet wolf? Not dogcloak barbarian, an actual wolf.

Sisal Two-Step posted:

You may be thinking of an old Elsa-drawn r/relationships post from a previous thread. I say this because I dimly recall one of Elsa's comics displayed the OP's partner as a wild wolf, but I don't remember the gag (meat eating?).

e: WAIT THERE WAS ONE where the woman had some wolves chilling in her house because she ran a rescue. I believe the OP was like "how do I marry this woman immediately" which is the correct response.