r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

AITA for not letting my ex get in my house to pick my sons up?

quote:

My ex (41M) and I (39F) were married for five years, we have two kids (11M, 9M). When I was pregnant with my second child, I found out he was seeing a friend of mine (my �best friend� actually) He left me and married her, and they have three kids now.

When I got pregnant my body went through a lot of changes (those who have been pregnant will understand) so I gained a lot of weight, I wasn't always ready to have sex, my humor was changing and I also had postpartum depression (which was really hard. When he left me, he said that he was leaving me because I forgot to take care of myself and my appearance.

He left me though he didn�t abandon our children, the custody agreement said that he would have our kids every other weekend and we have been co-parenting like this for the last 9 years.

I barely saw him in those 9 years, it was his dad who picked my sons up since he didn�t want to see me (my �best friend� said that he in contact with me didn�t make her comfortable), so I barely saw him, when we talked over the phone, we only talked about the kids and nothing else.

This changed almost a year ago, he started coming over to my house to help my kids pack their stuff, but this all started happening after my son showed him pictures of a trip I had with my kids, my boyfriend, and his kids. The thing is that I�ve changed a lot, I lost all the weight I gained when I was pregnant, and I've done sports, Yoga, and Fitness. I�ve never been so fit in my life, I feel healthy, desirable, young, professionally successful, etc...

When He started coming it was just him helping the kids to pack their stuff and he also wanted to talk to me but I avoided it as much as I could, then he started telling me (every weekend he came) that my boyfriend didn�t deserve me, that I deserved a better man and also that he�d do anything to have me again but I tried to ignore it until it got to the point that he is using our kids to get to me, Noah (9M) came to me asking if I still loved dad and if I was willing to try, I explained to my son (in a friendly way) that It'll never happen but yesterday was the cherry on the top, he sent me d*ck pic telling me that I could have it as soon as I want to, he also promised to leave his wife if I asked him to.

I got enough from this so I blocked him on WhatsApp and he can only give phone calls in case there is an emergency with my boys when they are with him I also told him that he isn�t longer allowed to get into my house to �help the kids� and every time he picks them we can either go back to the old days (his dad picking them) or he can park outside and wait for them to get in his car, he called me, AH and afraid of being alone with him again (Which I�m not lol) His mom also called me saying that I�m alienating her son, my friend says that I shouldn�t do it because it could be sending the kids a wrong message.

I'd just burn that poo poo to the ground and send the dick pic to the ex-best friend.

# ? Jul 15, 2022 17:59

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# ? May 14, 2024 09:13

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Hughlander posted:

AITA for not letting my ex get in my house to pick my sons up?

I'd just burn that poo poo to the ground and send the dick pic to the ex-best friend.

And to his Mom.

# ? Jul 15, 2022 18:01

ilmucche: Mar 16, 2016

Kurieg posted:

AITA for photographing a wedding like a party, when they booked my party package?

The people giving the photographer poo poo problem seems like it could've been easily solved by saying "They told me it was an informal party because they didn't want to pay for a wedding shoot so I came dressed for an informal party"

# ? Jul 15, 2022 18:03

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

ilmucche posted:

The people giving the photographer poo poo problem seems like it could've been easily solved by saying "They told me it was an informal party because they didn't want to pay for a wedding shoot so I came dressed for an informal party"

or just walking when he saw that his clients lied to him in order to rip him off

# ? Jul 15, 2022 18:05

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Rereading the post, they probably decided that even the reduced money and putting up with the bullshit was better than taking a loss on the gas and time spent

# ? Jul 15, 2022 18:08

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

haveblue posted:

Rereading the post, they probably decided that even the reduced money and putting up with the bullshit was better than taking a loss on the gas and time spent

Yeah, and I mean, there's still the photos as leverage to get the actual money.

# ? Jul 15, 2022 18:10

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Hughlander posted:

AITA for not letting my ex get in my house to pick my sons up?

I'd just burn that poo poo to the ground and send the dick pic to the ex-best friend.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

And to his Mom.

Yeah, that's like the most clear-cut example of having an obvious response to counter the offscreen judgment brigade in a while

# ? Jul 15, 2022 18:17

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

AITA for not helping my parents buy my sister a baby shower gift we agreed upon?

quote:

I�m a 34F. My little sister 28F is about to give birth to her first child in the next couple months and we�re all ecstatic. My sister has a baby shower coming up at the end of this month. She has several things already but is lacking major things like a crib, stroller, diaper bin, etc.

I would consider her the [Golden Child]. She�s never worked a day in her life. From her car to her expenses to her wedding to the home, she resides in, it was all paid for by my parents. Yes, she is spoiled, can be a very big brat at times, but I love her. While it has caused some tension among our siblings because we didn�t receive the same treatment, I honestly appreciate being independent so there�s no jealousy on this end. Parents are now retired though so they�re living on a budget.

My sister is having a girl and I knew she mentioned wanting her to have a pink crib. I had my last seven years ago and had a practically brand-new crib in storage that could have been painted pink, only she didn�t want a �used� crib. Fair. My parents proposed us (me and them) get her a crib since my siblings were going to get her something else, she needed. I�m in the medical field so my shifts are all over the place.

My mother states they�d found the perfect crib and that all they needed was me to send my half. I�m thinking maybe a couple hundred bucks. NOPE! My half was supposed to be a little over 4.5K! I immediately tell her that I would not be providing such a substantial amount of money for a crib! For that price it better come with a nanny! She goes on to state that this is what my sister wants, and she deserves it! I asked would she be sleeping in this crib? This is a crib for her baby! It�s a Lydian Crib, Walnut w/24k G, with tax it�s a little over 7k, with the custom pink paint job that�s another 1k. I�ve never heard of such! Am I out of touch? Is this how much cribs are now going for? The crib is nothing spectacular! It looks regular with a square shape gold emblem on the front of it! WTF?

Once I tell her that I�m not giving that kind of money, she calls me selfish. Ask me what�s so hard about me doing this for my sister since I make a nice salary and can afford it. I told her any person with common sense would not spend that kind of money, then again she�s always lacked common sense when it came to my sister. Sister found out and now I�ve been disinvited to the shower, which is okay with me. My siblings are standing with me and not going neither and they�ve refused to buy some ridiculous stroller that�s over 2k. Now my mother and sister are blaming me for ruining her shower.

# ? Jul 15, 2022 18:17

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Hughlander posted:

AITA for not helping my parents buy my sister a baby shower gift we agreed upon?

OP is the rear end in a top hat for not realizing that this is what a Michelin star crib is. :smaug:

# ? Jul 15, 2022 18:24

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

a nine thousand dollar crib what the gently caress

bring on the mad max hellworld already

# ? Jul 15, 2022 18:25

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Wait until she finds out how much caskets can go for.

# ? Jul 15, 2022 18:29

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Dentists probably aren't actually any worse or better than the medical profession overall when it comes to being massive pieces of poo poo to anyone they think they can get away with, they're just more obvious about it.

The difference between dentists and most other medical professionals is that dentists have you trapped. You can't leave the room when you're flat on your back with somebody's hands in your mouth.

# ? Jul 15, 2022 18:30

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Wait until she finds out how much caskets can go for.

A nice Jewish funeral solves that problem. Wrap the body up in a shroud and dump it in the ground. BAM! Done!

# ? Jul 15, 2022 18:31

Tobermory: Mar 31, 2011

AITA for asking my inlaws the same questions they ask me?

quote:

Hello reddit.

I F/30 got engaged to my fianc� a month ago. My inlaws (especially MIL) are the type of people that ask a lot of questions, personal questions at that. Their questions tend tj be hurtful sometimes but I tried not to get easily offended and mistake it personal" but those questions are getting out of control. Instead of lashing out and being rude I've decided to answer these questions by turning it back on my inlaws and asking them the same questions they ask me. For example...whenever my fiance and I are visiting. My SIL would ask "hey when are you going to lose those pounds?!!" I go "when are YOU going to lose those pounds!??!, you've put up a LOT of weight recently" While pointing at her eyes wide open. She'd get then "easily offended". FIL would ask "when are you going to get your own house?!?!" I go "when are YOU going to get your own house?!?!?, aren't you 73 and still paying rent for your house?!?!" (They live in rental house). He gets "highly offended"

BIL would ask " when are you going yo get married?!?!" I go "when are YOU going to get married?!?!...you don't even have a girlfriend yet!!!!".

They've obviously picked up on my "vibe" but the blowup occurred last night when my fiance and I were at their house for dinner. MIL looked at me whole I was eating and went on about kids and grandchildren she then asked "when are you going to start giving us babies???" My fiance looked at me with in an "oh boy" type of way. I felt no hesitation I looked at her and said "when are YOU going to start giving us babies, that's what I wanna know!!!. The table went quite though some family members laughed. MIL and her daughter and husband mad all types of angry faces then dinner was over.

I got scolded by my fiance on the way home telling me I was being rude with the way I talk back and respond to his families innocent questions (yeah questions they've already asked a million times before [hard eyeroll] but whatever). We got into an argument and he then looked at me and said "why are you bring hostile?" I said "why are YOU bring hostile getting in my face and yelling?!?!" He yelled at me again saying I'm driving him crazy and called me childish and an immature then stormed off to the bathroom.

AITA really?

# ? Jul 15, 2022 18:35

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Man that just sounds like a fun family I couldn't wait to hitch myself up to for life

# ? Jul 15, 2022 18:45

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for wearing gold and banning guests from doing so?

quote:

I am a divorcee as they say. Hooray. Anyway, I'm getting married. As I've been married once before, I've decided to forego the white dress. At my first wedding I wore a beautiful white dress that cost a lot of money and was never worn again and is sitting in my closet collecting dust. This time I'm wearing a gold silk mermaid style dress. Very fancy.

My mom is upset by my dress. She said my nontraditional wedding is basically flaunting the fact that I don't respect the institution of marriage after already committing the shameful act of divorce. She let it go though. Invitations just went out. Under dress code it says:

Formal dress is requested. Ladies, please refrain from gold dresses, but you are free to wear white if you wish.

My mom said this is incredibly rude and entitled. The rule is no white, not no gold. I can't just change it because of my nonstandard dress. Am I being entitled?

# ? Jul 15, 2022 18:50

MK-Ultramarathon: Aug 12, 2009

I mean, considering some of the weddings we've seen in here, that dress code seems clearly-communicated and fairly reasonable. "Literally any color except gold" is much more sane than "one of three specific shades of lavender, no I won't tell you what they are".

quote:

AITA for asking my inlaws the same questions they ask me?

I finally realized it was autocorrect but "why are you bring hostile" threw me for a loop for a minute.

# ? Jul 15, 2022 18:58

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Foo Diddley posted:

a nine thousand dollar crib what the gently caress

bring on the mad max hellworld already

This is the crib in question, only custom painted pink for an extra grand:

https://nurseryworks.net/products/lydian-crib

# ? Jul 15, 2022 18:59

Andrast: Apr 21, 2010

Lemniscate Blue posted:

This is the crib in question, only custom painted pink for an extra grand:

https://nurseryworks.net/products/lydian-crib

looks like poo poo

# ? Jul 15, 2022 19:00

MK-Ultramarathon: Aug 12, 2009

Yeah that doesn't look like a $7000 dollar crib to me, although tbh I don't know what a $7000 crib should look like. Literally made of gold? I assume that would be bad for a baby.

# ? Jul 15, 2022 19:02

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

MK-Ultramarathon posted:

I mean, considering some of the weddings we've seen in here, that dress code seems clearly-communicated and fairly reasonable. "Literally any color except gold" is much more sane than "one of three specific shades of lavender, no I won't tell you what they are".

Yeah, I dunno what the complaints are, that just seems pretty equivalent to nobody else wearing white since I assume that gold is not a super common dress color that everyone has on hand to wear to a wedding.

# ? Jul 15, 2022 19:02

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

I dunno gold is non reactive

# ? Jul 15, 2022 19:03

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Just use a loving sock drawer.

# ? Jul 15, 2022 19:07

MK-Ultramarathon: Aug 12, 2009

she'd still need a pink sock drawer

# ? Jul 15, 2022 19:08

hallo spacedog: Apr 3, 2007; this chaos is killing me
💫🐕🔪😱😱

There's like a non zero chance your baby won't even want to sleep in it anyway so yeah don't pay a lot for the drat crib

# ? Jul 15, 2022 19:08

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

MK-Ultramarathon posted:

she'd still need a pink sock drawer

That's an entirely different thing.

# ? Jul 15, 2022 19:09

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

If I�m going to spend the price of a used car on a crib it�d better do everything a used car can do

# ? Jul 15, 2022 19:09

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

Wait, what the gently caress, Americans don't put their babies in the box?

# ? Jul 15, 2022 19:10

Elissimpark: May 20, 2010; Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.

How many pink socks do you have that you'd need a special drawer for them?

# ? Jul 15, 2022 19:10

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

3D Megadoodoo posted:

Wait, what the gently caress, Americans don't put their babies in the box?

lmao if you think americans can afford a box, let alone the contents of the box

# ? Jul 15, 2022 19:14

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

I put our box on airbnb

# ? Jul 15, 2022 19:16

kdrudy: Sep 19, 2009

Lemniscate Blue posted:

This is the crib in question, only custom painted pink for an extra grand:

https://nurseryworks.net/products/lydian-crib

I see, it's a scam

# ? Jul 15, 2022 19:17

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

DACK FAYDEN posted:

lmao if you think americans can afford a box, let alone the contents of the box

But... the Box of Motherhood is free with the baby!

haveblue posted:

I put our box on airbnb

# ? Jul 15, 2022 19:17

MK-Ultramarathon: Aug 12, 2009

Do people in the US even get the box? I assumed it was only a thing in countries with humane health care systems.

Or that, like, you got the box but then they bill your insurance $20k for it.

# ? Jul 15, 2022 19:19

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

MK-Ultramarathon posted:

Do people in the US even get the box? I assumed it was only a thing in countries with humane health care systems.

I think you mean slightly more humane, but yeah nah of course not.

e: I never actually thought about it, but the Box of Motherhood is (and was originally intended to be) also a way to get expectant mothers into the pre-natal healthcare system, as you need to be registered at a neuvola or a doctor to get it or the 170�.

ee: Anyway, thousands for a crib is :psyduck:

any way you look at it.

3D Megadoodoo fucked around with this message at 19:26 on Jul 15, 2022

# ? Jul 15, 2022 19:21

Boaz MacPhereson: Jul 11, 2006; Day 12045 Ht10hands 180lbs
No Name
No lumps No Bumps Full life Clean
Two good eyes No Busted Limbs
Piss OK Genitals intact
Multiple scars Heals fast
O NEGATIVE HI OCTANE
UNIVERSAL DONOR
Lone Road Warrior Rundown
on the Powder Lakes V8
No guzzoline No supplies
ISOLATE PSYCHOTIC
Keep muzzled...

Lemniscate Blue posted:

This is the crib in question, only custom painted pink for an extra grand:

https://nurseryworks.net/products/lydian-crib

That is a baby crate.

# ? Jul 15, 2022 19:27

Uncle Enzo: Apr 28, 2008; I always wanted to be a Wizard

Lemniscate Blue posted:

This is the crib in question, only custom painted pink for an extra grand:

https://nurseryworks.net/products/lydian-crib

Which is hilarious because a good chunk of the cost of that crib is the fancy wood and nice joinery, which you're going to paint over anyways!

We bought a really nice crib from IKEA for like a hundred bucks. You could paint one pink in a couple hours with no special skills or equipment other than getting good quality paint safe to chew on. 8k for a crib get the gently caress outta here

# ? Jul 15, 2022 19:32

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

TIFU learning sign language.

quote:

Throwaway account.

My mom's been involved with this new guy for a few months now. To be fair, enough time has passed for me to stop referring to him as the new guy, but he's not my dad and I guess that will always make him feel like the new guy. According to movie logic, I'm supposed to hate him for trying to replace my father or whatever, but the truth is, I like him. I like him so much that I've been learning how to use sign language to improve our communication because new guy happens to be Deaf.

He can read lips, which is how I've been communicating with him. My mom didn't waste any time learning sign language at the beginning of their romance and she's at the point now where she can have full conversations without using her voice. I was really proud of her and so was new guy. I'm not on their level yet, but I've had enough practice to follow a conversation that's not too complicated. My plan was to surprise new guy on his birthday, which is 2 months from now, and wish him a happy birthday as well as officially welcoming him to the family in sign language.

However, I never factored in the amount of dirty talk my mom and new guy were having in sign language. Not knowing that I can understand them, my mom and new guy have gotten disturbingly comfortable exposing their sex life in my company. It didn't matter if we were at the dinner table or watching tv, I would constantly catch so many dirty descriptions being communicated between the two of them. They are worse than horny teenagers, and I should know, I am one. No 17 year old son should ever witness his mother use her fingers to demonstrate how wet her vagina is.

It's gotten to the point where I'm no longer willing to wait until new guy's birthday to make it known that I can understand sign language because HOLY gently caress I need my eyes to not see this poo poo anymore.

This is an ongoing gently caress up.

Tl:dr The guy my mom's dating is Deaf. Because I like the dude, I decided to learn sign language in secret and was planning to surprise him on his upcoming birthday by communicating in sign language. Little did I know that secretly understanding sign language would expose me to disturbingly intimate conversations between my mom and the new man in her life.

Update

quote:

Instead of informing new guy and my mom that I've been learning sign language on the side, I decided to ask new guy to personally teach me sign language in his free time. That way no one needs to know, other than thousands of strangers on the internet, that I understood my mom and new guy whenever they were talking dirty. It was the best approach I could think of that would encourage new guy and my mom to keep their sign language nonsexual around me and spare us all an awkward situation.

That being said, I didn't let them off the hook that easily. My first sign language lesson with new guy happened two days ago. He's actually a really good sign language teacher when he's not being seduced by my mom. He even promised to teach me swear words. Towards the end of the lesson I asked him about some of the things I've seen my mom sign to him. In order to sell how "new" I was to sign language, I first had to pretend-struggle how to make the wet vagina sign in front of new guy.

It was almost impossible to keep a straight face when I noticed the growing horror in new guy's eyes as soon as he realized what I was trying to communicate. He was quick to intervene and prevent me from finishing the vagina sign, which prompted him to reveal one of his first golden rules - no skipping ahead to pro level sign language. Apparently my mom's vagina falls under advanced sign language skills and therefore will not be addressed at all.

Speaking of my mom, she's been keeping her sign language relatively safe-for-son since my interest in learning sign language went public. However, this morning I did catch her complimenting new guy's butt in sign language. It was weird because now that she knows I'm learning, she feels the need to teach me too. And based on what happened this morning, she seems to think it's hilarious to teach me words like "nice rear end". Just when I thought I had the upper hand.

This is still an ongoing gently caress up, but not as bad as before. I hope.

Tl:dr The guy my mom's dating is Deaf. Because I like the dude, I decided to learn sign language in secret and was planning to surprise him on his upcoming birthday by communicating in sign language. Little did I know that secretly understanding sign language would expose me to disturbingly intimate conversations between my mom and the new man in her life. As per my update, I decided to ask new guy to teach me sign language so that everyone in the house is aware that I'm learning and avoid having intimate sign language conversations in my company. Part of my plan backfired thanks to my comedian of a mother having some fun at my expense by Jedi teaching me how she compliments new guy's "nice rear end" in sign language.

# ? Jul 15, 2022 19:39

MK-Ultramarathon: Aug 12, 2009

r/relationships: Apparently my mom's vagina falls under advanced sign language skills

# ? Jul 15, 2022 19:42

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# ? May 14, 2024 09:13

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Soylent Pudding posted:

TIFU learning sign language.

Update

r/relationships: Apparently my mom's vagina falls under advanced sign language skills and therefore will not be addressed at all.

# ? Jul 15, 2022 19:42

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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