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AITA for expecting my girlfriend to pay for her stay at my family's cabin?quote:My grandparents own a big old cabin where every generation after them have enjoyed annual family vacations. Due to the cabin's age, there is constant maintenance that needs to be done. Every time we've replaced, fixed or repaired something, there is another thing that needs fixing. We also started slowly renovating the cabin as the interior has become quite dated as well. These costs have become too much for my grandparents to handle alone, especially since their age means they can't do much of the work themselves, and they need to hire professionals instead. This has caused them to implement a fee system. The rule is as folllows; every person from the age of 20 years old need to pay an annual fee to be allowed to stay at the cabin. The size of the fee varies as it is calculated according to how many people plan on using the cabin, and how big the upkeep costs were the previous year. I've happily paid this fee ever since the rule was implemented, and so have my parents, aunts, uncles and cousins.
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Jul 17, 2022 14:26
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Evil Willow posted:
What about including the URL but removing the hyperlink so it has to be c&p? That way the post is easier to find but there isn't a track back to SA.
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Jul 17, 2022 14:50
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Funktastic posted:AITA for expecting my girlfriend to pay for her stay at my family's cabin? Just imagining OP telling their girlfriend, "Listen, my roommates and I all pay rent on our apartment, so it's a rule that everyone who sleeps here needs to pay rent, so if you spend the night with me you'll need to pay some of the rent too. Also, that dinner we had earlier? Those groceries didn't buy themselves, so can you venmo me four bucks?" edit: actually, since this year's fee is apparently way higher than normal, it's even worse than that. "Hey, listen, I know you want to spend the night, but me and my roommates just bought a new fridge today, so today's apartment expenses happen to be way higher than usual and you'll need to pay a big chunk of them for your time in the apartment today." Lottery of Babylon fucked around with this message at 15:02 on Jul 17, 2022 |
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Jul 17, 2022 14:59
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Funktastic posted:AITA for expecting my girlfriend to pay for her stay at my family's cabin? This even sounds like a bad deal for the family that uses it plus we all know the uncle is pocketing the cash
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Jul 17, 2022 15:11
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Sinbad's Sex Tape posted:This even sounds like a bad deal for the family that uses it plus we all know the uncle is pocketing the cash Hmm, if it's a big cabin (apparently big enough to host the extended family) and has been neglected for a while then $200-400 per family member is a pretty decent deal. Also if the Uncle is varying the fee every year and calculating how to divy up the costs based on usage then it's actually less likely that he's pocketing the cash because if it were the amount on the collection plate would be suspiciously stable.
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Jul 17, 2022 15:26
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It sounds like they're spitting the fee per adult, but unless that cabin is bigger than most, some of those folks paying an equal share will end up sleeping on couches or in open loft spaces with little privacy when the grandparents, aunts & uncles, and cousins are all there. If everyone involved is ok with spending thousands of dollars per branch of the family to maintain and update someone else's old cabin, then fine. It may even be worth it if they go often enough every summer and can go outside of the big group get-togethers. But lol at the idea of expecting a one-time guest to pay the full yearly fee. If they break up right after the trip would she get a partial refund? Or the right to visit on her own for the rest of the year since she paid her fee? I also hope they all have a very clear understanding of what happens to the property down the road. Because it's either going to end up split a million ways and force some future generation to buy one another out or they're all paying upkeep on a property that's going to one person who may or may not still let everyone visit.
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Jul 17, 2022 15:42
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If you're inviting someone to be your guest it's rude to expect them to pay. If they had decided to get an air b&b together that would be different, but this is his family's cabin and he invited her. If the extended family wants money for her as well then he should expect to pay for her, or plan to skip going this year and save for doing it next year. As it is he's saying "I'd like to spend time with you this summer, but only if you pay my family for upkeep on our property." edit deety posted:I also hope they all have a very clear understanding of what happens to the property down the road. Because it's either going to end up split a million ways and force some future generation to buy one another out or they're all paying upkeep on a property that's going to one person who may or may not still let everyone visit. That's a good point, I have a feeling the uncle that handles maintenance will also be the executor of the estate and will end up inheriting the cabin. Baron von Eevl fucked around with this message at 15:49 on Jul 17, 2022 |
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Jul 17, 2022 15:46
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It could be put into a family trust with the uncle as a property manager. It isn't necessarily going to be one person's property.
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Jul 17, 2022 15:57
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Am I misteading that or did he really try to charge her the full yearly rate as thought she had just as much access to it as anybody else in the family? Unless their share only nets them one weekend a year and they're still shelling out $400 for that, which is still deceptive because she has no implied right to access/ownership whereas the others are just paying upkeep on an asset Either way, all round, terrible
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Jul 17, 2022 16:10
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boofhead posted:Am I misteading that or did he really try to charge her the full yearly rate as thought she had just as much access to it as anybody else in the family? Unless their share only nets them one weekend a year and they're still shelling out $400 for that, which is still deceptive because she has no implied right to access/ownership whereas the others are just paying upkeep on an asset Yeah, I was gonna question why there wasn't precedent for an introductory visit for a new SO until I reread it and noted that they apparently just do charge everyone that, the expectation was just for OP to pay the second full fee.
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Jul 17, 2022 16:15
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Sounds like a good scam for everyone in the family to invite a dozen guests each every few months.
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Jul 17, 2022 16:17
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Bruceski posted:I think both Pride and Prejudice and Wuthering Heights are done wrong by other adaptations that portray them as non-satirical. e:f,b AITA for not wanting my potential future child to learn 3 languages when my other kids only know 1? quote:I am from California, but I am an expat and have been living in Germany for the past 15 years. I am male, 35. I have 2 kids from my first marriage, f15 and m10. They live with their mother in California. I don’t have full custody and they visit me for summer. Arsenic Lupin fucked around with this message at 16:57 on Jul 17, 2022 |
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Jul 17, 2022 16:54
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Admiralty Flag posted:"She got incredibly offended at a simple question and blew up at me." Describing anything as "a simple question" or "just a Facebook post" or saying you want to hit someone with a shovel and sending them a dollhouse shovel with a note that you can't believe they were so upset about a little shovel is a dead giveaway that you're a piece of poo poo. ChickenDoodle posted:I’ve read “Pride / Prejudice” where everyone got gay with each other and it was infinitely more entertaining. I've wanted to write a porn version of Pride and Prejudice for a while but so far all I have is something about a man in possession of a large wang.
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Jul 17, 2022 16:56
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Magnificent comment to the guy who hates foreign languages:quote:Because that alone is a reason not to have kids with you. You could be massively rich, attractive and have three penises that dispense water, beer and vodka and still you wouldn't be a candidate to ever have kids with.
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Jul 17, 2022 17:03
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. e:f,b AITA for not wanting my potential future child to learn 3 languages when my other kids only know 1? [/quote] This one gets on my nerves big time. Half the world or more learns languages like this don't be mad cause you and your kids didn't.
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Jul 17, 2022 17:04
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Arsenic Lupin posted:AITA for not wanting my potential future child to learn 3 languages when my other kids only know 1? quote:I am an expat and have been living in Germany for the past 15 years. quote:the child would speak languages I don’t understand (I admit, I don’t speak German nor my wife’s native language) I've know so many "expats" who don't bother learning the local language or anything. It's different if it's old people moving to be with their family in a new country, but if you're young, put some effort in after 15 years. This guy is a loving idiot and I hate him.
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Jul 17, 2022 17:08
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"hey, why don't we do this one thing that would give our child a huge advantage in the world that would cost us zero money and little to no effort?" "Nah" Also, that kid is going to learn German via osmosis regardless of if chud expat wants it or not
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Jul 17, 2022 17:12
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Arsenic Lupin posted:AITA for not wanting my potential future child to learn 3 languages when my other kids only know 1? Lol, what a turd. He'd be a turd if he still lived in California with his older kids and was just bringing the new partner over, but living on his own in Germany for 15 years? He's the ungodly mega turd from that gross-out hospital photo
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Jul 17, 2022 17:15
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AceClown posted:Also, that kid is going to learn German via osmosis regardless of if chud expat wants it or not *10 years later* AITA for banning my child from speaking German at home?
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Jul 17, 2022 17:15
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I'm glad the dad is very concerned about whether his kid will be able to relate to their step siblings, but doesn't really think about how they will relate to the mother's family, or to literally anyone else in their lives, such as their German friends at the German school they would attend.
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Jul 17, 2022 17:19
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Dr. Stab posted:I'm glad the dad is very concerned about whether his kid will be able to relate to their step siblings, but doesn't really think about how they will relate to the mother's family, or to literally anyone else in their lives, such as their German friends at the German school they would attend. Well you see that’s not a problem because as per his comments he’s going to move back to California. Why no he hasn’t talked about that with her, why would he?
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Jul 17, 2022 17:40
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Always learn as many languages as possible. No exceptions.
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Jul 17, 2022 18:07
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Arsenic Lupin posted:AITA for not wanting my potential future child to learn 3 languages when my other kids only know 1? If he was in tv show you would dismiss the over the top american stereotype as bad writing. quote:I took a few classes when I moved here but didn’t feel like they were working so I dropped it. Everyone here speaks English anyway so there was never a need for me to learn German. quote:I want to move back to California in a few years so our future child would have no need to learn German.
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Jul 17, 2022 18:13
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One of my dad's friends moved to the Netherlands for work back in the 90s. They were out there for a decade and his wife basically made a point of not learning a loving word of Dutch. How do you spend a decade somewhere and not pick up ANYTHING without deliberately trying?
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Jul 17, 2022 18:23
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That is loving something, wow. When I was in first grade we had some dual language classroom, and I loving loved it. I remember my class buddy spoke little English and I spoke no Spanish besides taco. So we were paired off and learned a bunch of poo poo. But AZ public schooling being as racist as it is, the classes were cut a few months in because "if they move here, they need to SPEAK ENGLISH." I wish I was bilingual, drat. AITA for telling a coworker she is in America and she needs to speak English. quote:I (M20 white) work at a high end Italian clothing store. My coworker (for this story let’s call her Anita) is an older conservative Chinese women. She is very nice and I get along with her most of the time (work stress gets to us sometimes). She speaks Mandarin and English. Her English is great as she’s been in the states for along time, but she never speaks English if she doesn’t have too. She always speaks mandarin with the other Chinese. Yup. At an old job, my manager hired a bilingual Spanish/English speaker with that as the main reason. Which turned out to be a bad decision; we had a lot of only-Spanish speakers come in, and when they'd go to her, she'd laugh and tell them to go to someone else for help, and then would hide in the back or go on break. This happened daily. No, she did in fact speak Spanish very well, but she had more fun watching us non-fluent people try to piece together international shipping orders for frustrated people who didn't speak a word of English.
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Jul 17, 2022 18:27
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AreWeDrunkYet posted:If he was in tv show you would dismiss the over the top american stereotype as bad writing. Lol, there's no use for German in English! 
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Jul 17, 2022 18:27
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AITA for not wanting to move to Pakistan while pregnant?quote:I (24f) am currently 3 months pregnant with my fiancé, Attaf, m 27. We didn’t plan on having a child just yet as we’ve only been together for less than a year but it happened and here we are. Reddit is, for once, unanimous: do not get on that loving plane, do not leave the country, get the gently caress away from him.
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Jul 17, 2022 18:34
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AITA for moving in with my husband after we got married?quote:So my (22F) husband (23M) moved here(Los Angeles) for work in September. We had actually been dating before that, I went to university where he lived(Ireland) and he moved over shortly after I went back home. He didn't chase me here or anything, it was always his plan to move here. Lol at the entire family getting mad at you for not going with your parents' "we don't want charity, we just want you to not move in with your spouse and to continue supporting us in person forever" retirement plan
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Jul 17, 2022 18:49
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Captain Hygiene posted:AITA for moving in with my husband after we got married? why are the parents not embracing the asian / latino plan. move in with your most sucessful kid/daughter and either rule the household making everyone miserable or live in the cucuy room
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Jul 17, 2022 18:53
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Captain Hygiene posted:AITA for moving in with my husband after we got married? drat ungrateful millenials!!!!!
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Jul 17, 2022 18:53
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Fil5000 posted:One of my dad's friends moved to the Netherlands for work back in the 90s. They were out there for a decade and his wife basically made a point of not learning a loving word of Dutch. How do you spend a decade somewhere and not pick up ANYTHING without deliberately trying? The Netherlands is slightly different, because virtually everyone actually does speak English (which isn't true in Germany, that dude's in a bubble), and Dutch people love to show off their English skills, and (in the words of my Dutch teacher) they like to have a secret language for themselves that the foreigners don't understand - so they're not huffy if you don't speak Dutch, even after several years. BUT, you would still have to insulate yourself on purpose to fail to pick up the basics. More importantly, why wouldn't you take advantage of being in that situation! People ask me how to learn a language well, and "living there" is top of the list, which sadly most people don't get the chance to do. And these people squander it 
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Jul 17, 2022 19:01
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Captain Hygiene posted:AITA for moving in with my husband after we got married? I mean aside from anything else, oh dear you lived together for a month before getting married? That ain't ending well.
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Jul 17, 2022 19:21
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Does anyone have the story of the poly couple who were floored that they weren't entitled to the house of their deceased, newly trans partner, which was owned by her and her wife, (that she was separated from)?
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Jul 17, 2022 19:26
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If you spend about a month in Germany you'll pick up enough German to order food. 15 years and not learning any is ridiculous.
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Jul 17, 2022 19:32
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compshateme85 posted:Does anyone have the story of the poly couple who were floored that they weren't entitled to the house of their deceased, newly trans partner, which was owned by her and her wife, (that she was separated from)? That post was extremely terf-y and felt 100% fake mostly because it includes the oft cited terf talking point of someone transitioning MtF then calling their former wife homophobic slurs for wanting to stay with them. You might be thinking of the "Beloved" post where OP and their partner are poly, move in with their new GF (who's married), and when the GF dies they get evicted and act like it's completely impossible that the spouse is the legal heir. edit: turns out they are very similar Smirking_Serpent posted:Title: Navigating Estates, Tenancy, Discrimination, and Grief in North Carolina. [NC, Landlord/Tenant, Estates, Discrimination] [TW: Suicide] The comments are insane. pentyne fucked around with this message at 19:45 on Jul 17, 2022 |
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Jul 17, 2022 19:39
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ascii genitals posted:If you spend about a month in Germany you'll pick up enough German to order food. 15 years and not learning any is ridiculous. 15 years is a conscious effort to refuse to engage.
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Jul 17, 2022 20:17
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pentyne posted:The comments are insane. The poster is insane. We tossed you out of your own home so now we own it ?
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Jul 17, 2022 20:57
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Mx. posted:AITA for telling my boyfriend's sister to not put her arm around him when they take photos together? Why do people feel they have rights to someone else's body?
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Jul 17, 2022 21:07
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quantumwell posted:The poster is insane. We tossed you out of your own home so now we own it ? Find the Reddit thread, they’re even more insane. They think throwing the wife out of the house means ownership of it transferred to them, they aren’t legally tenants, and it can’t be sold without their permission. They think they can force the divorce to go through posthumously with collections of personal messages. They think they can get the wife’s lawyer disbarred for deadnaming. They make vague comments about resisting eviction by force.
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Jul 17, 2022 21:30
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Fil5000 posted:One of my dad's friends moved to the Netherlands for work back in the 90s. They were out there for a decade and his wife basically made a point of not learning a loving word of Dutch. How do you spend a decade somewhere and not pick up ANYTHING without deliberately trying? The dutch do not let outsiders learn their language. They switch to their perfect english every time they detect a non-local.
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