Post the worst pizza ever in this thread: No Gods, No Mestres

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Futanari Damacy: Oct 30, 2021; by sebmojo

More like wet coast pizza!

# ? Jul 18, 2022 15:50

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# ? May 26, 2024 10:59

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

more like yeast coast pizza!

# ? Jul 18, 2022 15:56

Philthy: Jan 28, 2003; Pillbug

Looks like tavern style pizza that isn't cut into squares. When a pizza is cut the standard way, you kinda want a crust, so you have a a grip.

Edit: Unless it's h00ge like NY style where you just taco it.

# ? Jul 18, 2022 16:16

Bold Robot: Jan 6, 2009; Be brave.

Data Graham posted:

Maybe I'll ask here because I'm really starting to wonder.

Serious question: is there such a thing as "west coast style pizza" or some such? I was just in Oregon and all the pizza I saw around was like this:

The main feature being that the crust around the edge is not raised, the toppings go right to the edge. It's the way all pizza was when I was growing up in California, it's how Round Table does it, it's how Mountain Mike's does it, and apparently every place in Oregon does it like that too.

I really like it.

All the pizza I've seen on the east coast (whether NYC street style, brick-oven style, etc) seems to have a big thick crust edge, which is something I only associated with poo poo tier office party pizza back in CA.

This isn't even getting into the toppings/flavors, which I would also swear are way different on west coast pizzas, but that's harder to capture in a photo. Much spicier pepperoni/sauce and meltier cheese though, and lord help you if you use canned mushrooms.

Am I insane or is this a thing? Either way I am only getting more homesick the longer I'm out east

You're not insane, this is totally a thing. I dunno how far it extends up or down the coast, but I grew up in northern CA and have seen a lot of pies like this. When people think of west coast or california style pizza they usually think of weird toppings, and there's plenty of that, but if you go to any old pizza place there's a decent chance you will get something that looks like this. I haven't had Mountain Mike's but Round Table is definitely a good example of the type.

I think the defining characteristics are:
- large amounts of toppings that go almost all the way to the edge
- the crust is crispy but relatively thick/doughy (at least compared to like a NY slice). You probably don't need or want to do the fold.
- there is plenty of sauce and it's not particularly sweet
- never square/party cut

# ? Jul 18, 2022 16:16

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

I'm starting to think the characteristic smell/taste you get with that style when opening the box being overwhelmingly pepperoni/sauce/mushrooms/etc is also owed to the smaller proportion of crust and less of it exposed to the air. Thinking of east coast pizzas it always seems like most of what you get a whiff of is bread+cheese.

Round Table is my gold standard (I never pass up a chance when I'm out west, Mendocino County reppin) but I was pleasantly surprised to find that Mountain Mike's is broadly the same across the board, if that's what's available.

e: I think another feature is really narrow slices. An east coast pizza might be six slices for a medium, with the idea that one slice is a lunch, maybe two. I'll slice the same pie 10 or 12 ways. Pizza to my inner child's post-soccer-game mind is a "slam a slice, go back for three more" kind of thing

Data Graham fucked around with this message at 17:02 on Jul 18, 2022

# ? Jul 18, 2022 16:22

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

Pennywise the Frown posted:

"it's.... wet"

Yeah well you�re wet with blood, got about 6 minutes to say goodbye. :byewhore:

# ? Jul 18, 2022 16:41

NC Wyeth Death Cult: Dec 30, 2005; He lost his life in Chadds Ford, he was dancing with a train.

Ate at the Chicago Pizza Pot Pie and Oven Grinder Co. recently and while it doesn't look bad or taste bad their pizza pot pies definitely have a "Hello, Clarice" feeling to them.

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# ? Jul 19, 2022 02:06

Soul Dentist: Mar 17, 2009

NC Wyeth Death Cult posted:

it doesn't look bad

Uhhhh

# ? Jul 19, 2022 03:44

its all nice on rice: Nov 12, 2006; Sweet, Salty Goodness.; Buglord

Data Graham posted:

I'm starting to think the characteristic smell/taste you get with that style when opening the box being overwhelmingly pepperoni/sauce/mushrooms/etc is also owed to the smaller proportion of crust and less of it exposed to the air. Thinking of east coast pizzas it always seems like most of what you get a whiff of is bread+cheese.

Round Table is my gold standard (I never pass up a chance when I'm out west, Mendocino County reppin) but I was pleasantly surprised to find that Mountain Mike's is broadly the same across the board, if that's what's available.

e: I think another feature is really narrow slices. An east coast pizza might be six slices for a medium, with the idea that one slice is a lunch, maybe two. I'll slice the same pie 10 or 12 ways. Pizza to my inner child's post-soccer-game mind is a "slam a slice, go back for three more" kind of thing

Narrow slices are definitely part of the style. I can't think of any specific restaurants, but it was common when I was growing up in Washington. It's definitely the reason I cut any frozen or take and bake into thin slices.

# ? Jul 19, 2022 03:59

nesamdoom: Apr 15, 2018; nesaM kiled Masen

Philthy posted:

Looks like tavern style pizza that isn't cut into squares. When a pizza is cut the standard way, you kinda want a crust, so you have a a grip.

Edit: Unless it's h00ge like NY style where you just taco it.

Square cut is the cut for drunk people to grab pinches of pizza and be happy. being hosed up and watching your toppings slide off the slice is lame.

# ? Jul 19, 2022 04:39

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

https://twitter.com/fuckeduppizzas/status/1549177393872621568

# ? Jul 19, 2022 04:53

CLAM DOWN: Feb 13, 2007

Captain Hygiene posted:

https://twitter.com/fuckeduppizzas/status/1549177393872621568

mods??

# ? Jul 19, 2022 04:53

Skinnymansbeerbelly: Apr 1, 2010

Real weird to see Round Table as anyones gold standard, the grease they use is undigestible.

# ? Jul 19, 2022 05:30

its all nice on rice: Nov 12, 2006; Sweet, Salty Goodness.; Buglord

Round Table is fine. Not aware of any pizza place that uses "grease" as an ingredient. Maybe the one you went to used expired mozzarella.

# ? Jul 19, 2022 06:11

Devils Affricate: Jan 22, 2010

Round Table isn't bad but I agree it's weird to see people name dropping it as their gold standard. It'd be like someone saying Jimmy John's is the place go if you want an amazing sandwich. Hell, I worked at a Round Table for my very first job as a teenager. I can guarantee you there's nothing special going on back there.

# ? Jul 19, 2022 06:23

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Not saying it's the gold standard, just my gold standard :v:

I realize it's irrational.

Just one of those "this is how it's supposed to taste" things that I'm not about to try to convince anyone of, just don't get in my way if I see one.

# ? Jul 19, 2022 10:41

Gargamel Gibson: Apr 24, 2014

I was at a pizza buffet today and I saw a lady put ketchup and mustard on her pizzas.

# ? Jul 19, 2022 21:32

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

not sure what's on either of these

this one I'm not sure I want to know

# ? Jul 20, 2022 00:37

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Fries & ranch?

# ? Jul 20, 2022 00:41

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

Not positive about the ranch. I haven't seen it on a Korean pizza before. Of course I haven't seen any other pure white sauces either

# ? Jul 20, 2022 00:43

NC Wyeth Death Cult: Dec 30, 2005; He lost his life in Chadds Ford, he was dancing with a train.

Soul Dentist posted:

Uhhhh

in a thread that has pizzas with uncooked racoon parts and motor oil on them they aren't bad looking

# ? Jul 20, 2022 00:53

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

AARD VARKMAN posted:

not sure what's on either of these

Yeah all of these actually look like they could be really nice, but no idea what's going on with any of them.

Would 100% try a slice from each one.

Despite their wetness you can tell the stuff that was meant to be cooked was cooked.

Middle one curious as hell what the fucks going on. All symmetry lost. chaos reigns. What are those god drat lumps!!!

# ? Jul 20, 2022 01:01

LvK: Feb 27, 2006; FIVE STARS!!

I know that this isn't what it is, but half of the first one looks kinda like a chile colorado pie and, drat, with some modification I would *gently caress up* a chile colorado pizza.

# ? Jul 20, 2022 06:29

BasicLich: Oct 22, 2020; A very smart little mouse!

whats the consensus on marinara sauce

more
spicier
cream garlic
pesto
bbq sauce

# ? Jul 20, 2022 08:01

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

LvK posted:

I know that this isn't what it is, but half of the first one looks kinda like a chile colorado pie and, drat, with some modification I would *gently caress up* a chile colorado pizza.

I mean yeah sort of seems a split between a tomato/chill/meat thing, and a thick spiced cheese sauce over :shrug: