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Gene Hackman Fan posted:a dude makes a wish on a monkey's paw, only for the middle finger to extend. lol
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Jul 29, 2022 12:18
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And the One True Religion is [opens letter] "The Aztecs, oh Jesus no." edit: Shaggy: "Zoinks!" more edit: The whole thing is a Scooby Doo episode and this is the apex of the episode where the final revelation hidden in an ancient tomb is finally revealed. Prurient Squid fucked around with this message at 19:20 on Jul 29, 2022 |
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Jul 29, 2022 19:12
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one of my favorite jokes is from the simpsons lisa is lamenting to marge that gore vidal has kissed more boys than her (lisa) marge replies "boys lisa boys kiss girls" the joke is that marge is so perfectly square that she gets hung up on the gender role thing, that if there is a kissing relationship, the boy is to be the kisser and the girl the kissie, that she completely misses the gore vidal homosexuality thing. |
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Jul 29, 2022 23:42
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extremely personal minor crimes that really hit you were you live replace someone's entire toilet paper supply with single ply discount recycling paper swap the sugar or sweetener of your morning coffee setup with salt add a tiny pinch of itchy powder to someone's daily moisturizer
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Jul 31, 2022 09:48
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replace someone's hand sanitizer with lube 
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Jul 31, 2022 16:01
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biosterous posted:replace someone's hand sanitizer with lube Replace someone's lube with hand sanitizer  Wait maybe that's not minor |
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Jul 31, 2022 16:08
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Classic Pranks TM |
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Jul 31, 2022 16:09
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First draft titles of famous literary works: Vladimir Nabokov's shut the gently caress up, memory.
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Jul 31, 2022 16:14
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*fly sees an open window* *its free real estate meme* |
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Aug 1, 2022 04:16
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Old Timey problems: getting a Pavlovian boner when hearing ragtime music because early porn films were in the silent era and it’s all subtitles and Joplin while folks are doing the dirty on screen. |
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Aug 1, 2022 12:18
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soon to be old timey problems: compulsively mowing your lawn because of the amount of lead you were exposed to as a child |
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Aug 3, 2022 00:52
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Sherlock Holmes, but just an ordinary guy in a wold full of people who can't figure anything out at all. "I deduce that this man was killed just after breakfast." "Amazing, Holmes! What clued you in?" "Well, there are eggs and bacon on his plate -- and running down his chin. Also, this is a pretty busy restaurant at this time of day, so there were quite a few witnesses." "How DO you do it?"
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Aug 3, 2022 02:27
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"Lestrade, of Scotland Yard, believes that the victim was drowned last evening in the Thames. I, however, am quite certain that he was shot through the head right here in the drawing room." "Remarkable!
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Aug 3, 2022 02:34
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Robot Made of Meat posted:"Lestrade, of Scotland Yard, believes that the victim was drowned last evening in the Thames. I, however, am quite certain that he was shot through the head right here in the drawing room." Poor Watson http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=210 |
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Aug 3, 2022 02:37
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Robot Made of Meat posted:Sherlock Holmes, but just an ordinary guy in a wold full of people who can't figure anything out at all.
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Aug 3, 2022 03:28
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Kaiser Schnitzel posted:This is very funny and would make an excellent thread imo 
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Aug 3, 2022 03:31
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Do the thing. |
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Aug 3, 2022 03:41
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i'd read the whole novel |
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Aug 3, 2022 11:28
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A Study in Idiocracy |
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Aug 3, 2022 12:33
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This whole thread represents hundreds of threads that will never be  But its never too late you guys, make the thread you wanna see in the world 
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Aug 3, 2022 13:02
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The version of the Red Book of Westmarch that was written by Gollum (who actually survived) that tells a very different tale. |
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Aug 3, 2022 18:02
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username idea: Natalie Portmanteau |
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Aug 3, 2022 18:34
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canyoneer posted:username idea: Natalie Portmanteau Custom title: Just call me Natport |
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Aug 3, 2022 19:16
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After getting the ring on Gollum deployed a wing suit and rode tfo mount doom on the updrafts while Sauron shat himself out of sheer terror |
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Aug 3, 2022 19:18
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Mental picture: invisible Gollum dangling his man parts all over the rohirrim while riding his loincloth wing suit toward the old west. Gollum was never a heavyweight, but nonetheless spent the last century fasting, in preparation for this specific contingency. |
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Aug 3, 2022 19:22
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In this version Gollum won the ring in a poker tournament. And when his treacherous brother wouldn't hand the ring over after losing fair and square he shot him in a pistol duel. It's not actually poker, and it was probably a bow and arrow or something. Also, Gollum's account is highly questionable in sundry other ways too. e: The scene where he defeats the Balrog in a riddle tournament is genuinely awesome. |
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Aug 3, 2022 19:41
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"Why does it reek of updog in here?" |
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Aug 3, 2022 19:53
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The fell beast then inquired as to the nature of updog, and promptly fell into a chasm of shame |
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Aug 3, 2022 19:54
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"Going somewhere, Gollum?" "Yes, Gandalf, as a matter of fact I was just going to see your boss. Tell Sauron that I've got his ring." "It's too late, you should have given it to him when you had the chance. Sauron's put a price on your head so large every wizard in Middle Earth will be looking for you. I'm lucky I found you first" "Yeah, but this time I've got the ring" "If you give it to me, I might forget I found you." "I don't have it with me. Tell Sauron..." "Sauron's through with you. He has no time for halflings who drop their precious at the first sign of a Baggins." "Even I get thieved sometimes. Do you think I had a choice?" "You can tell that to Sauron. He may only take your wingsuit." "Over my dead body." "That's the idea. I've been looking forward to this for a long time" "Yes, I'll bet you have." *hucks a rock at Gandalf's head* |
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Aug 3, 2022 20:45
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Finger Prince posted:"Going somewhere, Gollum?" |
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Aug 3, 2022 21:17
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Finger Prince posted:"Going somewhere, Gollum?"
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Aug 3, 2022 23:44
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naan fiction |
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Aug 4, 2022 06:55
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Karate Bastard posted:"Why does it reek of updog in here?" "It has to do with the henway, good sir."
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Aug 4, 2022 07:23
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Gandalf never told you? He told me you killed my father. No Frodo... |
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Aug 4, 2022 12:29
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Pippin: (series of beeps) Merry: (snooty British accent) No Pippin, I'm afraid we're fresh out of pipeweed at the moment Pippin: (angry beeps) Merry: You watch your language! |
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Aug 4, 2022 14:04
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google THIS posted:Pippin: (series of beeps) |
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Aug 4, 2022 15:06
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Anger Management: LOTR edition. Couples Therapy: LOTR. Gollum and the ring. The Ring: He loves me and he HATES ME! ... as he loves and hates himself... Gollum: QUIETT... [begins stroking it] my preciousssss.... Prurient Squid fucked around with this message at 15:34 on Aug 4, 2022 |
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Aug 4, 2022 15:08
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"I never thought I'd die fighting side by side with a wookie" "Rwaaarghhh, rghh rghh" "Aye, I could do that." |
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Aug 4, 2022 15:11
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Sam: Talks about Elephaunts Gollum: beads of sweat on brow... oh yeah, I don't even care about those things. No fear from me about those giant monster things no sireeeeee... |
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Aug 4, 2022 15:59
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| # ? May 27, 2024 06:45 |
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shut up, you can't tell me what to do! you're not even my RealDoll!
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Aug 4, 2022 17:05
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