GarfieldEats: I have returned to what I love; cereal boxes and coloring

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > GarfieldEats: I have returned to what I love; cereal boxes and coloring

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pseudanonymous: Aug 30, 2008; When you make the second entry and the debits and credits balance, and you blow them to hell.

Okay, if he marries a goon, then we close the thread.

# ? Aug 3, 2022 00:35

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# ? May 23, 2024 13:02

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me

they're two separate jobs

# ? Aug 3, 2022 00:36

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

Yeah sorry, I was skimming.

# ? Aug 3, 2022 00:38

Steadiman: Jan 31, 2006; Hey...what kind of party is this? there's no booze and only one hooker!

_{silly sevens}

I mean fair play to Nathen, at least the photography job appears to be paid and not just for exposure. I doubt it�ll be much though

# ? Aug 3, 2022 00:45

Charles Ford: Nov 27, 2004; The Earth is a farm. We are someone else’s Ford Focus.

Escape From Noise posted:

This is the most boring rider I've ever seen. He could have demanded a Garfield plush in his dressing room or something at the very least.

# ? Aug 3, 2022 00:51

Elephant Ambush: Nov 13, 2012; ...We sholde spenden more time together. What sayest thou?; Nap Ghost

CodfishCartographer posted:

Reminder that the whole celibate thing started cus he got massive backlash for freaking out over the gay kiss in superman, and so tried to appeal to the LGBT crowd by going celibate lmao

And then he tried to get a C added to LGBTQ just for him and when the community told him to gently caress off he did the "I guess that community isn't very inclusive after all" thing. And since then he's made multiple tweets about how the LGBTQ community are soft and too sensitive and it's his job to toughen them up

That combined with him yelling at Arab women and shaming them on his tiktok just shows how much of a piece of poo poo he is

# ? Aug 3, 2022 01:03

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

Charles Ford posted:

This is the most boring rider I've ever seen. He could have demanded a Garfield plush in his dressing room or something at the very least.

"No nudity". Nathen is afraid of being chased by naked people at appearances

# ? Aug 3, 2022 01:11

sharknado slashfic: Jun 24, 2011

Glad that Nathen will have 3 members of kiwi farms there to screen for him, what could go wrong

# ? Aug 3, 2022 01:24

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

Well hopefully none of them get naked

# ? Aug 3, 2022 01:32

im saint germain: Jan 30, 2021; i've come from the future to tell you all we have to stop party rock before it returns

I hope every single attendee brings a plastic straw

# ? Aug 3, 2022 03:10

Escape From Noise: Jul 27, 2004

dr_rat posted:

Oh god, Nick Cave needs to write, score, and star in a movie about Garfield pizza restaurants.

Like no idea how that would even begin to work, but oh man would I be there opening night for it.

Based on the script he wrote for a Spartacus sequel, hell yeah I'd watch it.

# ? Aug 3, 2022 03:34

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

i like when frequent flyers to dubai give a poo poo about something like plastic straws. shove it up your rear end nathen

# ? Aug 3, 2022 04:15

Futanari Damacy: Oct 30, 2021; by sebmojo

1% for the planet (emphasis on the 1%)

# ? Aug 3, 2022 04:54

Escape From Noise: Jul 27, 2004

Surprised his rider asks for a caramel macchiato or a pistachio latte (?) instead of his beloved Garfaccino.

# ? Aug 3, 2022 05:18

Escape From Noise: Jul 27, 2004

The Garf Knight Rises

I do love how he's self asserting "I tend to forgive fuckers." (-Nathen Mazri) while half or more of his social media accounts are posts about enacting revenge on certain corporations or people and/or lists of how they wronged him.

# ? Aug 3, 2022 05:24

Charles Ford: Nov 27, 2004; The Earth is a farm. We are someone else’s Ford Focus.

Escape From Noise posted:

The Garf Knight Rises

I do love how he's self asserting "I tend to forgive fuckers." (-Nathen Mazri) while half or more of his social media accounts are posts about enacting revenge on certain corporations or people and/or lists of how they wronged him.

He merely *tends* to forgive them. We may only be seeing the tip of the fucker iceberg, the unforgivable fuckers.

# ? Aug 3, 2022 06:01

Long-Time Lurker: May 20, 2021; readin'-but-not-postin'-jones

Some folks speculated that the whole celibate thing was due to the constant rejection he faced on Grindr. I think combined with his weird, growing anti-LGBT sentiments later on and this marriage thing, it's likelier that he turned celibate because he wasn't allowed to be gay anymore from family and religious pressure. He says all genders are valid but the guy has never shown bi tendencies before. If this doesn't end up being yet another half-thought out sham by Nathen (or ends with him marrying Garfield), don't be surprised when he opts to marry a woman.

# ? Aug 3, 2022 07:37

RoeCocoa: Oct 23, 2010

Doctor Butts posted:

Lol now this makes me think about how Dennis Kucinich found his wife

Drunk Nerds posted:

Well?

https://www.theknot.com/content/dennis-and-elizabeth-kucinich-wedding-story posted:

How did they meet?
During the middle of Elizabeth's second week working in America (she's originally from England), she had a meeting with Dennis concerning monetary policy. "As I walked into his office my eyes fell upon a shelf bearing an illustration depicting 'light consciousness,' a bust of Gandhi, and then Dennis," Elizabeth says. "That's when I knew I had met the man I would one day marry." Dennis felt the same way. When the 8-minute meeting ended and Elizabeth left the room, Dennis called his friend and actress, Mimi Kennedy and said, "I met her."

How did they get engaged?
A couple weeks after their brief meeting, Dennis and Elizabeth happened to both be working in New Mexico. They met up, and after spending hours talking and getting to know one another, decided to get married. "Neither one of us proposed to the other, instead the love we felt for each other was all that needed to be expressed -- we just knew that marriage was for us," Elizabeth says.

Was there a ring?
Dennis officially proposed on bended knee in front of the peace fountain in downtown Cleveland, with a clear blue citrine stone ring, just two days before the wedding day. But as Elizabeth puts it, they got engaged the day they met.
<...>
Funny wedding memory?
Dennis and Elizabeth planned an alcohol-free, vegan reception without any plastic disposable cups, plates, or flatware. But their friend had other plans -- he loaded up his truck with beer, wine, liquor, and plastic cups, and began serving "beverages" to all the guests. "I cottoned on only when my bubbly Uncle Geoffrey came up to me clutching a plastic cup containing what he called 'special apple juice,' but which I found turned out to be whiskey after taking a large swig," Elizabeth says.

# ? Aug 3, 2022 07:54

The Alchemist: Dec 12, 2010

Charles Ford posted:

He merely *tends* to forgive them. We may only be seeing the tip of the fucker iceberg, the unforgivable fuckers.

Nathen forgives but Nathfield and Gabby do not.

# ? Aug 3, 2022 08:09

Plant MONSTER.: Mar 16, 2018; I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

"a clear blue citrine stone ring"

no such thing as a blue citrine or really any blue macrocrystaline quartz. Hope someone got fired for that blunder.

# ? Aug 3, 2022 13:23

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

Escape From Noise posted:

The Garf Knight Rises

I'd like to hear more about the "army of online trolls [who] tried to take him down." Seems bizarre. Why would anyone want to end the entergagement?

# ? Aug 3, 2022 13:34

The Alchemist: Dec 12, 2010

Kiwifarm has a bit more hands-on approach to poop than we do.

# ? Aug 3, 2022 13:38

Doctor Butts: May 21, 2002

RoeCocoa posted:

Oops my bad I didn't catch that post. I was busy making sure there was no evidence I had plastic straws.

quote:

It’s the third marriage for the twice-divorced Kucinich, 58. Gordon declined to reveal other information about Harper, including her age, how she met the congressman or how long they have been a couple.

Kucinich had told audiences during the campaign that he was seeking a mate. Women then vied for a date with him during a contest arranged by a New Hampshire political Web site, but nothing romantic evolved from Kucinich’s breakfast date with the winner.

https://apnews.com/article/3a2c5e37127b429b5bddfd0595e099f7

# ? Aug 3, 2022 13:59

Futanari Damacy: Oct 30, 2021; by sebmojo

Plant MONSTER. posted:

"a clear blue citrine stone ring"

no such thing as a blue citrine or really any blue macrocrystaline quartz. Hope someone got fired for that blunder.

Good catch. Probably an aquamarine then?

# ? Aug 3, 2022 14:26

Duckman2008: Jan 6, 2010; TFW you see Flyers goaltending.; Grimey Drawer

BigBadSteve posted:

I'd like to hear more about the "army of online trolls [who] tried to take him down." Seems bizarre. Why would anyone want to end the entergagement?

It�s there earlier on in this thread, while the Garfield Eats store was open it got a bunch of negative reviews, and Nathan of course blamed it on trolls versus him having bad food.

# ? Aug 3, 2022 16:35

Escape From Noise: Jul 27, 2004

Garfield Eats, but who's buying?

# ? Aug 3, 2022 16:37

Duckman2008: Jan 6, 2010; TFW you see Flyers goaltending.; Grimey Drawer

Escape From Noise posted:

Garfield Eats, but who's buying?

I always assumed Jon ?

# ? Aug 3, 2022 18:31

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

Jon is not exactly a model pet owner. His cat is morbidly obese so he feeds it lasagna. He�s also a sex pest.

# ? Aug 3, 2022 18:33

The Alchemist: Dec 12, 2010

Meanwhile in a bizarro world a successful network marketing mogul Nathen Mazri is introducing Garfield Oats, the farm2bowl breakfast to go with your morning Garffaccino� capsule coffee.

# ? Aug 3, 2022 18:33

Matlack Radio: Jun 2, 2006

A fine dowry of rancid overstock.

# ? Aug 4, 2022 05:07

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me

oh, so this is also a way to offload financial debt.

# ? Aug 4, 2022 05:21

Escape From Noise: Jul 27, 2004

How many Garfaccino's am I eligible for here?

# ? Aug 4, 2022 05:31

Escape From Noise: Jul 27, 2004

Ghostlight posted:

oh, so this is also a way to offload financial debt.

Nathen frantically demanding his new partner eat more frozen lasagna.

# ? Aug 4, 2022 05:32

sharknado slashfic: Jun 24, 2011

This cooler full of expired scoobyEats food could all be yours

# ? Aug 4, 2022 06:20

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Lmao I loving called it, marry Nathen to get half of his lasagna hoard

# ? Aug 4, 2022 06:43

The Alchemist: Dec 12, 2010

The way I read it, it's "help me get back into my dad's will and we will split the money 50/50! You can eat these scooby lasagnas in the meantime(garfield ones are mine)"

# ? Aug 4, 2022 06:50