r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

I just don't get how that is a prank, like seriously. Breaking something is not a prank!

AITA for not letting a mother cut in line?

quote:

Ok it's pretty straight forward but my friends are torn about this. Me 29 F was visiting my home town when a Harry Potter pop up store was supposed to open the next day. That is very special in our city. So I got up early and went to the store. There were about 50 people Infront of me but I was about 5 hours early, so that was fine. I stood in line, excited, while friends texted me, telling me what they wanted and sending me the money. At about 11.30 the doors opened. They let the first 50 in and I was about to be next when a large group of people cut in line from the side. I simply said "hey!" But the woman only turned and said "shh", then turned around again. Security came back to let us in and I loudly told him that they cut in line. A huge discussion broke out, others behind be backing me up that they cut. The line was really long at this time, about 4 hours when started at the end. Security put them aside, but the woman refused to move, arguing that her 3 kids wouldn't be able to stand in line for 4 hours.

She was send away and because she made such a fuss forbidden to come into the store again. I got a lot of cool merch for me and my friends, but some say I was the rear end in a top hat because I told on them, others say the father could have stood in line and the kids could have joined him when he was up front.

So am I the ahole for not letting a mother cut in line?

I refuse to look up what a Harry Potter popup store is so I like to think it like Spirit Halloween.

AITA for asking my ex boyfriend to pay for half of my ER bill?

quote:

I (23f) and my (22m) ex boyfriend of 2 months broke up at the end of April. Back in March, we were having sex and the condom got stuck. It resulted in us having to take a late night trip to the ER to get it removed. As if that wasn�t embarrassing enough, the nurses were laughing. A month later, we broke up. I got the ER bill and after insurance it came out to around $700 dollars. I pay for insurance through my work and am NOT on my parents insurance (my mom lost our insurance plan after my dad passed years ago). So the plan is lovely but covered some. After we broke up, I jokingly mentioned that he should pay for half and he kinda laughed it off. Flash forward to last night, we were talking and I mentioned that he should still pay for half and it�s not fair that I�m forced to pay it all myself when it was a 2 person job. The saying is �it takes two to tango�. He then went into why he couldn�t pay for it. Here�s a paraphrasing of why he couldn�t and shouldn�t:

He can�t afford to

It�s not his fault my insurance is poo poo and didn�t cover more

He paid for our dates (not all of them I mind you)

The bill came after we broke up

He thought about paying half but I never officially asked

If he remembers correctly I initiated the sex that night

Why didn�t I feel it come off

I have a �big girl job� now (I recently got promoted at work)

After we hung up, I sent him screenshots of the bill and his half ($355 to be exact). And even said if he couldn�t pay it all at once, I completely understand I�d be willing to do a payment plan with him (as I�m already on one with the hospital anyway). He ended up saying if I�d asked him about this months ago it would MAYBE be on the table. I ended up sending a long paragraph stating it still is on the table since the bill still exists and it�s not fair that I�m expected to pay for the whole thing.

Even with work and just general life and bills, I haven�t been able to pay much on it. We are both not rich by any means. He�s a server and I�m a barista.

So reddit, AITA to asking him to pay half of the bill when it�s not fully my fault?

I thought condoms were made to kinda not come off without manual work?

Cowslips Warren fucked around with this message at 16:04 on Aug 5, 2022

# ? Aug 5, 2022 15:56

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 29, 2024 01:39

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Cowslips Warren posted:

I just don't get how that is a prank, like seriously. Breaking something is not a prank!

"B-b-b-but the most popular youtubers are getting millions for pranking* their kids and loved ones!"

(*Translator's note: pranking means abuse and torture)

Burn that industry the ground.

quote:

AITA for not letting a mother cut in line?

I refuse to look up what a Harry Potter popup store is so I like to think it like Spirit Halloween.

Was the pop up open only for just one day? I can't imagine waiting hours to purchase overpriced merch.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 16:06

Lynx: Nov 4, 2009

Lone Goat posted:

They exist but are called by a negative name: Sponge Ruiners

I feel old for having understood this reference.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 16:10

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for asking my ex boyfriend to pay for half of my ER bill?

I thought condoms were made to kinda not come off without manual work?

Dick is Petite and Collapsed

# ? Aug 5, 2022 16:12

AngryRobotsInc: Aug 2, 2011

Cowslips Warren posted:

I thought condoms were made to kinda not come off without manual work?

Wearing the wrong size can lead to all sorts of poo poo like that. That'd be my guess.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 16:13

killer crane: Dec 30, 2006; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2019

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for asking my ex boyfriend to pay for half of my ER bill?

I thought condoms were made to kinda not come off without manual work?

If you have the wrong size it can slip off. Or if he kept going after getting soft? He probably has a small weiner, or tried to impress her by buying a magnum for his average dong.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 16:15

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

considering all the excuses, i'm going with he absolutely bought the wrong size and caused her medical injury and doesn't wanna take responsibility

# ? Aug 5, 2022 16:20

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Absolutely the kind of guy who would refuse to pay for Plan B/an abortion/child support.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 16:45

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Cowslips Warren posted:

I just don't get how that is a prank, like seriously. Breaking something is not a prank!

AITA for not letting a mother cut in line?

I refuse to look up what a Harry Potter popup store is so I like to think it like Spirit Halloween.

every harry potter fan above the age of like, five is a gigantic gaping rear end in a top hat. it's like these people looked at disney adults and said, that's nice but there isn't enough bigotry in it

# ? Aug 5, 2022 17:49

Quackles: Aug 11, 2018; Pixels of Light.

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

AITA for calling the cops at my cousins wedding

Thread titles maybe?

"the cops came during the vows and said I object" is pretty funny.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 17:59

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

Foo Diddley posted:

every harry potter fan above the age of like, five is a gigantic gaping rear end in a top hat. it's like these people looked at disney adults and said, that's nice but there isn't enough bigotry in it

The FPlus did a dramatic reading of a post from I think r/childfree where OP was an adult Harry Potter fan having a complete meltdown an preferential treatment for kids at a Harry Potter book release event and costume contest. It was a thing of beauty.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 18:03

Uncle Enzo: Apr 28, 2008; I always wanted to be a Wizard

Foo Diddley posted:

every harry potter fan above the age of like, five is a gigantic gaping rear end in a top hat. it's like these people looked at disney adults and said, that's nice but there isn't enough bigotry in it

I'll give them some more leeway on this one though, cutting in line is bullshit straight up. What they were in line for hardly matters. Could have been a hiring open house at the dick sucking factory.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 18:10

gay frog chemicals: May 27, 2022; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Adult Harry Potter people just make it into ESH rather than NTA.

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for yelling at my husband because he scared me?

UPDATE: AITA for yelling at my husband because he scared me?

This one surprised me pretty hard, the dude goes from giving up a gas stove for electric only to become complete human garbage afterward? That's a pretty big sacrifice to throw it all away for literally no reason other than being completely devoid of empathy and compassion later.

e: actually the dude probably doesn't cook anyways, I guess he's not losing much by switching to a shittier stove

gay frog chemicals fucked around with this message at 18:14 on Aug 5, 2022

# ? Aug 5, 2022 18:11

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Foo Diddley posted:

every harry potter fan above the age of like, five is a gigantic gaping rear end in a top hat. it's like these people looked at disney adults and said, that's nice but there isn't enough bigotry in it

yikes

# ? Aug 5, 2022 18:36

Cloacamazing!: Apr 18, 2018; Too cute to be evil

Uncle Enzo posted:

I'll give them some more leeway on this one though, cutting in line is bullshit straight up. What they were in line for hardly matters. Could have been a hiring open house at the dick sucking factory.

I would not let a mother with three small children cut in line at the dick sucking factory either.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 18:51

norton I: May 1, 2008; His Imperial Majesty Emperor Norton I

Emperor of these United States

Protector of Mexico

Foo Diddley posted:

every harry potter fan above the age of like, five is a gigantic gaping rear end in a top hat. it's like these people looked at disney adults and said, that's nice but there isn't enough bigotry in it

oof. I just can't understand how there are still grown rear end adults who have strong opinions about Harry Potter of all things. Every weirdo on the internet has spent the last 20 years either obsessing over it or vibrating with rage.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 18:55

RoastBeef: Jul 11, 2008

Soylent Pudding posted:

The FPlus did a dramatic reading of a post from I think r/childfree where OP was an adult Harry Potter fan having a complete meltdown an preferential treatment for kids at a Harry Potter book release event and costume contest. It was a thing of beauty.

It is deranged:

quote:

Harry Potter book release: don't worry, no spoilers.

Showed up at seven, in full costume for a nine am release. Devoted no? I was one of the few to dress up, and I was the best-dressed. I'm not being vain, I honestly had the most detailed and accurate costume there.

We were told in line, that the best-dressed person in line gets to open the box and have the first Half-Blood Prince book. So, I'm a shoo-in, aren't I?

WRONG.

loving moo brings her bratty sprog in at 8:59am dressed in a generic Kmart cape with stars and glitter and loving gaudy BLAH. Twig for a wand.

OMG WITTLE PWESHUS SO CUTE OMG YOU CAN OPEN THE BOX AND HAVE THIS BOOK YOU CAN'T READ AND fawning fawning, blatant breederism etc

THE loving KID WON'T EVEN REMEMBER THIS. THE BOX OPENING WAS MINE. MIIIIINE.

I wouldn't have minded if someone had said "Oh look Sass, you are best-dressed but would you mind if this land-mine amputee opened the box instead?" I would have said "Absolutely no problem. Go for it." But no. loving CROTCHDROPPING GETS THE HONOUR. I'm furious. On principle of course, not out of any sense of entitlement. Well yes, entitlement also. But I WORKED FOR IT, I DESERVED IT.

I made an effort. I spent money making an effort. I showed up early. I will remember and treasure this event for ever and eternity. And I'm passed over for an ugly little brat with a sparkly tie. Woo loving woo.

I didn't stab her in the eye with my wand. I WANTED to. I talked about doing so VERY loving LOUDLY. I was going to eviscerate her mother with the cover of my brand-new copy.

I loving hate breeders and child-lovers. loving GO TO HELL.

I'm so pissed about this, sorry. It's just that in ten years time, this kid won't remember what she was doing on July 16th 2005. In ten years time, I will be remembering how I was deprived of this nerdly honor by an opportunistic twat breeder and her shitling. I'm hurt. All my life, nothing has gotten to me more than being deliberately ignored, or passed over. Honestly; that's the sort of thing that can make me cry in public. Or key your car. Or viciously murder you and your family in the heat of frustration and never-ending denial Congratulations breeders, you win.

Edited to add: To all of you who are calling me immature etc, I'd like to add that you make a very good point, but have you considered GO gently caress YOURSELF? If you're so anal-retentive, go back to the other community and go on with your breeder-humping. Also, to the person who submitted this to fandom_wank, I seriously (no sarcasm) thank you. I've always wanted to be

# ? Aug 5, 2022 18:59

value-brand cereal: May 2, 2008

Harry potter sucks hateful rear end and normal people should be vocal about it so harry potter freaks feel bad until they self banish to the shadow realm. As the kids these days say.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 18:59

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Cloacamazing! posted:

I would not let a mother with three small children cut in line at the dick sucking factory either.

She might have needed that job. Who are we to take the food out of a child's mouth by taking the dick out of the mother's mouth?

# ? Aug 5, 2022 18:59

DaysBefore: Jan 24, 2019

RoastBeef posted:

It is deranged:

Lmao

# ? Aug 5, 2022 19:02

Xombie: May 22, 2004; Soul Thrashing
Black Sorcery

Foo Diddley posted:

every harry potter fan above the age of like, five is a gigantic gaping rear end in a top hat. it's like these people looked at disney adults and said, that's nice but there isn't enough bigotry in it

Do you know a lot of six year olds reading 600-page chapter books?

# ? Aug 5, 2022 19:03

Xun: Apr 25, 2010

I'll be more vocal about how much Harry Potter is bigoted poo poo as soon as people stop giving straight men the benefit of the doubt for enjoying their bigoted poo poo because it just gives them just so many nostalgia feels it's irreplaceable

# ? Aug 5, 2022 19:06

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

RoastBeef posted:

It is deranged:

God every time it shows up I'm just like "yes, this is the perfect encapsulation of childfree people"

# ? Aug 5, 2022 19:09

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

RoastBeef posted:

It is deranged:

Thanks!

Too bad "To all of you who are calling me immature etc, I'd like to add that you make a very good point, but have you considered GO gently caress YOURSELF?" is too long of a thread title.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 19:09

DaysBefore: Jan 24, 2019

Soylent Pudding posted:

Thanks!

Too bad "To all of you who are calling me immature etc, I'd like to add that you make a very good point, but have you considered GO gently caress YOURSELF?" is too long of a thread title.

Would just 'a very good point, but have you considered GO gently caress YOURSELF?" work because that line owns

# ? Aug 5, 2022 19:11

AngryRobotsInc: Aug 2, 2011

I was there for when that one dropped live in the Fandom Wank circles and it was golden.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 19:12

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

AITA for telling my boyfriend he's never had to struggle a day in his life, and not wanting to go back on our agreement?

quote:

Throwaway account

I recently moved into my boyfriend "Sam's" apartment. He comes from an upper class family and is very well off money wise as an attorney. I'm from a middle class background and make nowhere near as much as him, but I'm still proud of my achievements and my struggles, which I don't think Sam always understands. I left my job a couple of weeks ago due to some issues in the workplace and I'm not actively looking for any right now as I want a break, but I'll start looking again before the end of the year (I've told Sam all this). I do have a decent amount of savings which I use to contribute to our household. Sam asked me a few days ago to start contributing 50-50 to bills and other household items. It's currently distributed based on our income. I told him no, as I actually don't even have income right now but he said that's "my problem" and I need to take it out of my savings. I said we agreed beforehand to split everything based on income, but he said that me not having a job is "something he has to deal with" and he wants me to start paying the same as him. I said that I've worked very hard for my savings and he can't dictate what I do with it, and I need some left over for my own things. Sam got pretty pissed and said I was "selfish" and "mooching off him", but I said that's not the case at all, but he won't understand because he's never had to struggle a day in his life. It's been kind of tense between us because of this. I told my friend what's going on and she said it sounds like Sam's trying to financially control me. So, AITA ?

Comments:

quote:

>If you were living alone, would you have quit?

I wouldn't have taken a break no, but I'm in a position to do so now because he can cover for us for a few months (Which I'm grateful for).
...
I'm currently paying for groceries and such but not for bills. He was okay with me quitting my job, I said I won't be immediately jumping into a new one as I want a break and time to relax, which he wasn't too sure about.

That takes a lot of gall.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 19:52

Baron von Eevl: Jan 24, 2005; WHITE NOISE
GENERATOR
🔊😴

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for telling my boyfriend he's never had to struggle a day in his life, and not wanting to go back on our agreement?

I've worked very hard for my savings and he can't dictate what I do with it

That's true, but he also doesn't have to let you live with him.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 20:07

verbal enema: May 23, 2009; onlymarfans.com

Forever laughing at uh oh spaghettios

# ? Aug 5, 2022 20:07

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

That's some powerful "one weird trick" energy, there.

Negotiate a bill-sharing arrangement around relative income, and then cut your income to $0 and enjoy six months of relaxation! Boyfriends hate it!

Also LOL at bragging about how much more you've struggled and achieved relative to your diffident silver-spoon partner even though he's the one putting on his pants and heading off to work every morning while you laze about.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 20:07

GramCracker: Oct 8, 2005; beauty by stroll

I feel like it's been far too long since some delicious HOA posts surfaced :smith:

# ? Aug 5, 2022 20:28

Rescue Toaster: Mar 13, 2003

FMguru posted:

That's some powerful "one weird trick" energy, there.

Negotiate a bill-sharing arrangement around relative income, and then cut your income to $0 and enjoy six months of relaxation! Boyfriends hate it!

Also LOL at bragging about how much more you've struggled and achieved relative to your diffident silver-spoon partner even though he's the one putting on his pants and heading off to work every morning while you laze about.

She says "I do have a decent amount of savings which I use to contribute to our household." which gave me the impression she was still contributing at the same rate she was before quitting. ie if she was paying 25-30% before, she still was while she wasn't working.
If her previous income and prospects for future income line up with whatever amount she was contributing, and she has the savings to cover that amount while temporarily not working, I don't feel like she's being unreasonable? It seems weird to ask her to increase her contribution at the exact time she was out of work.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 20:31

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Strap in, it's a doozy:

I found a jarthe my husband has been ejaculating in and I threw it away. He got very upset with me.

quote:

So I'm a woman in my 30's. I made a throwaway because I don't want this tied to my main account at all. Yesterday our garbage disposal stopped working and I was trying to see why so I was looking around under the sink and I moved stuff out to get in there to look around more easily. In the very back tucked away was a mason jar that I thought was just over halfway full of kitchen grease at first but I realized it wasn't grease...I thought it looked like semen. I made the mistake of opening it and by the smell I knew that it was definitely semen. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Disgusted I threw it away in the dumpster outside. It had to have been my husband's but I don't know why he would save semen in a jar.

My husband got home and I asked him about it. He seemed very embarrassed and confessed it was indeed a jar full of semen he was filling for almost a year. I was shocked and asked him why? He said whenever it was my time of the month or I wasn't in the mood he'd jerk off into the jar after I went to bed. I asked him why not go in the toilet or use tissues or the shower or something. Why a loving jar? He couldn't answer that other than saying hes been doing this since he was a kid. I told him I want him to stop using a jar because it's disgusting. He told me he didn't want to and asked where the jar was. I told him I threw it away and he was upset! He said it took him a long time to fill the jar that much and now he had to start over and we argued about him using a jar to store old jizz in.

I still don't understand why he wants to fill a jar for fucks sake. We argued about it and during the argument he opened the refrigerator, took a large jar of pickles and dumped it out and started rinsing it out and said, "This is the cum jar now!" Before I knew it I'm literally screaming at my husband about cumming in jars and told him he can either cum in me or the jar but not both. He clutched the jar and stormed off to the bathroom. I was literally speechless.

I sat down and started watching TV trying to take my mind off it when he came out and joined me and tried to patch things up. I asked him where he hid the jar and he wouldn't loving tell me! He told me we should just forget about the fight, he apologized to me and told me he'd make sure I didn't have to see the jar if I didn't want to. I wanted us to stop fighting so I agreed and we didn't speak about it for the rest of the night. He fell asleep early but I laid in bed for over an hour thinking about the loving jar. I don't understand why he's so intent on doing something so disgusting and I'm still angry about it.

And it gets better/worse:

quote:

Edit/Update: My husband got home and we sat down and talked. After a lot of prying I got him to come clean with me about why he cums in a jar and why it's in the kitchen.

He gets very excited when I eat his cum and he makes pancakes every weekend for breakfast and he mixes the cum into the pancake batter and gets off on me eating it without my knowledge or consent. He has been doing this regularly for our entire marriage and has mixed cum in other things I've eaten and drank. I have of course swallowed his cum before but this is different because he did this without my knowing.

I honestly couldn't yell at him or even say anything. I felt numb. I just got up and started throwing poo poo in a bag while he tried to talk me down and stop me. I ended up leaving with some bare essentials and told him that I need space and will reach out to him when I'm ready to talk. I'm taking some time off of work and headed to a friend's house for a few days. I asked her if I could stay and she doesn't know why and honestly I don't know what to tell her or anyone else for that matter. I don't know what I'm going to do or what this means for our marriage. I feel disgusted, used and like trust in my husband has been severely damaged. I haven't cried or done anything yet. I stopped to get a bite to eat on the way to my friend's house and to try to figure out what to say to her because I know she'll have questions. I also think I need to cry first. Thank you to everyone who's been kind and supportive and offered good advice. Please keep it coming because I feel like I'm drowning here and I have no idea what to do.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 20:31

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Rescue Toaster posted:

She says "I do have a decent amount of savings which I use to contribute to our household." which gave me the impression she was still contributing at the same rate she was before quitting. ie if she was paying 25-30% before, she still was while she wasn't working.
If her previous income and prospects for future income line up with whatever amount she was contributing, and she has the savings to cover that amount while temporarily not working, I don't feel like she's being unreasonable? It seems weird to ask her to increase her contribution at the exact time she was out of work.

In one of the comments I quoted, she said that she's not paying bills at all.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 20:36

AngryRobotsInc: Aug 2, 2011

DrBouvenstein posted:

Strap in, it's a doozy:

I found a jarthe my husband has been ejaculating in and I threw it away. He got very upset with me.

And it gets better/worse:

Gross gross gross. That is all my brain can produce for that.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 20:38

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

DrBouvenstein posted:

Strap in, it's a doozy:

I found a jarthe my husband has been ejaculating in and I threw it away. He got very upset with me.

And it gets better/worse:

And here I thought it wasn't going to be that bad because she didn't find an anime figurine in the jar. I should have known better.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 20:43

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

Hey, it turned from obvious weird fetish into sexual assault! I don�t like that at all and I hope he faces repercussions for it!

# ? Aug 5, 2022 20:43

Cacator: Aug 6, 2005; You're quite good at turning me on.

r/relationships: This is the cum jar now!

# ? Aug 5, 2022 20:45

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

DrBouvenstein posted:

Strap in, it's a doozy:

I found a jarthe my husband has been ejaculating in and I threw it away. He got very upset with me.

quote:
I still don't understand why he wants to fill a jar for fucks sake. We argued about it and during the argument he opened the refrigerator, took a large jar of pickles and dumped it out and started rinsing it out and said, "This is the cum jar now!" Before I knew it I'm literally screaming at my husband about cumming in jars and told him he can either cum in me or the jar but not both. He clutched the jar and stormed off to the bathroom. I was literally speechless.

An entire paragraph�s worth of potential thread titles

# ? Aug 5, 2022 20:48

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 29, 2024 01:39

Quackles: Aug 11, 2018; Pixels of Light.

DrBouvenstein posted:

Strap in, it's a doozy:
And it gets worse:

That can't be sanitary.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 20:49

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

«‹›3575 »