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calandryll posted:What the gently caress. God drat family law is loving terrible. It is, yeah. Particularly here in Texas where CPS has multiple injunctions against it in effect.
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Aug 9, 2022 03:06
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Ugh Koivunen that sucks so much. I'm so sorry you had to deal with his cheating lying self and then you also get screwed by the system, how unbelievably unfair. What's happening with custody? Have you been able to use the fact that he leaves pill bottles around to your advantage at least?
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Aug 9, 2022 08:31
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so our not quite 2 year old (20 month old?), on command, from my wife's phone can call her mom (my mother in law/her grandma) from the emergency contact screen, and also point the camera at you, say "cheese!" and take a photo of you (albeit poorly framed) what do you do about cell phone addiction in toddlers i will give her a calculator and she will poke at that and use it to pretend to have a conversation with you (it's roughly shaped), but she's already realizing that the calculator, while interactive, is not a cell phone. in half gibberish today she told me it wasn't a cell phone (or that was my interpetation of "no phone") wife suggested we repurpose one of our old phones and give it to her with the lock screen turned on. not really sure what to do
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Aug 9, 2022 08:33
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Hadlock posted:so our not quite 2 year old (20 month old?), on command, from my wife's phone can call her mom (my mother in law/her grandma) from the emergency contact screen, and also point the camera at you, say "cheese!" and take a photo of you (albeit poorly framed) Ours was the same way around the same age, maybe a little later. I just lean into it and try to get her to play with creative / educational apps. Phones are a staple of life and a lot of parenting advice around screens is outdated, in my opinion. The lock screen thing kinda worked too. She liked poking around at the numbers and letters. nachos fucked around with this message at 12:50 on Aug 9, 2022 |
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Aug 9, 2022 12:46
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My 5 month 3 week year old still doesn’t roll over or air up and it causes me nothing but angst - any tips?
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Aug 9, 2022 14:18
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Hadlock posted:so our not quite 2 year old (20 month old?), on command, from my wife's phone can call her mom (my mother in law/her grandma) from the emergency contact screen, and also point the camera at you, say "cheese!" and take a photo of you (albeit poorly framed) My three year old is obsessed with numbers. We got her Fire Kids tablet. We only give it to her on weekends and holidays. There's a ton of great educational apps (also a lot of garbage apps but pick what you want and disconnect it from the internet so they can't download anything). Kid can now count by 1s, 2s, 3s, 4s, 5s, 6s, 7s, 8s, 9s, 10s. She also does basic math. Blows my freaking mind. It's super cute when she counts with her fingers out because she can't quite make all the motions as quickly as she can recite the numbers  I know preschool didn't teach her this (they are amazed at it), I know I didn't teach her this. She learned from this really annoying number app that makes horrible sounds but she loves it. nachos posted:Phones are a staple of life and a lot of parenting advice around screens is outdated, in my opinion. I hate hate hate the stigma of screen time in public. We recently took a trip and had to eat out and we never do that because I don't feel like restaurants are not places for children because there's nothing for them to do. Well... at least my child who is extremely independent and strong willed. Being forced to sit at a table with adults and listen to a conversation they want nothing to do with is torture for her. So we give her the tablet and ugh the looks older people give you (especially my own mother). Was told she won't acclimate to going out if we keep pandering to her and not making her be a part of the table. She's THREE. She's BORED. She doesn't care about the family drama or how the 5 hour car ride here was for you. Why is it wrong for me to want her to be happy in a crap situation and not screaming her head off? Was also suggested during this trip that my daughter is wild because we don't spank her. No, it's because she is independent and she needs to figure things out on her own. Why is the knee jerk reaction for some people physical violence? Because it was done to them? I don't know what to say to these people. Sarah fucked around with this message at 14:46 on Aug 9, 2022 |
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Aug 9, 2022 14:44
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Sarah posted:Was also suggested during this trip that my daughter is wild because we don't spank her. No, it's because she is independent and she needs to figure things out on her own. Why is the knee jerk reaction for some people physical violence? Because it was done to them? I don't know what to say to these people.
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Aug 9, 2022 14:54
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Sorry about your kitty Koivunen.
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Aug 9, 2022 14:58
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Manwithastick posted:My 5 month 3 week year old still doesn’t roll over or air up and it causes me nothing but angst - any tips? There’s so much natural variation in when kids hit these physical milestones. Keep at it with tummy time but also don’t stress about it.
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Aug 9, 2022 15:31
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Some of the older folks I work with have been continuously horrified when Ive discussed parenting with them over the 2 years of my kids life so far You don't put cereal in the bottle  You don't let him chew on chicken bones  You don't spank him  You don't keep him away from screens at all times  You don't ignore all his feelings 
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Aug 9, 2022 17:10
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I’m not sure what a toddler is supposed to expect when they’ve seen parents on their phone, laptop, or tablet 24/7 since birth to function as a human being
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Aug 9, 2022 17:28
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Huh? I am posting from a rotary phone
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Aug 9, 2022 17:32
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My son has a toy rotary phone and he boops the handset in the middle when he wants to hang up after a pretend phone call. It's super funny and I have no intention of ever correcting him.
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Aug 9, 2022 17:39
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Manwithastick posted:My 5 month 3 week year old still doesn’t roll over or air up and it causes me nothing but angst - any tips? Ours didn't hardly roll onto her side at 4 months, then finally could roll over, but not back at 5 and month six literally on her 6 month birthday (with much moaning and yelling on her part) dragged herself to the door (arms only, no legs) of her nursery and into the hall over the course of about 15 minutes. Three weeks later was alarmingly mobile Kind of like starting an old car that hasn't started in a long time (  ) you'll turn the key and it cranks and cranks and cranks seems like it'll never catch lots of anxiety and then randomly it will start, and then it does and you just drive off like nothing ever happenedOne day the kid just wakes up, it clicks in their brain and is like "today I'll roll over" and they do. Definitely make sure they're getting 1-2 minutes of tummy time each day, once or twice a day. There's a lot of studies saying that because we make infants sleep on their back now, kids start crawling a lot, lot later than they did in the 80s and 90s, but has no long term impact on their development (except lower mortality rate) Like the other person said, "normal" at this age is wildly wide range Sarah posted:My three year old is obsessed with numbers. We got her Fire Kids tablet. We only give it to her on weekends and holidays. There's a ton of great educational apps (also a lot of garbage apps but pick what you want and disconnect it from the internet so they can't download anything). Kid can now count by 1s, 2s, 3s, 4s, 5s, 6s, 7s, 8s, 9s, 10s. She also does basic math. I've been looking at these kids fire tablets for a while. Maybe time to pull it trigger on that. She respects my phone and will give me mine when asked, but is less (not at all) obedient when it comes to wife's phone Hadlock fucked around with this message at 17:53 on Aug 9, 2022 |
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Aug 9, 2022 17:51
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Same goes with walking. It's wild watching a child develop in real time. Within 24 hours of their first step they're doing laps around the kitchen. 24 hours after that they're outrunning you.
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Aug 9, 2022 17:53
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Yeah the way I see/saw it, the kid is born, then becomes aware that the world exists, then realizes they exist in the world, realize they can move their head to observe things, and then finally one day they realize they can interact with things (reach out and touch stuff hanging overhead), realize they can move within the world (roll over and crawl), realize they can move between rooms in the world Then you blink and they're off to college  Imo the big moment is that mental spark where they realize they can interact with things in their environment, smack that ball that's hanging overhead, grab the bottle etc. One day they're basically a cute house plant you're desperately trying to keep alive, the next day they're developing motor skills and wishing they had the muscle mass to crawl properly
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Aug 9, 2022 18:00
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I have found that once people start posting here (including me!) that they are worried their kid has not met X milestone, soon after the child does the thing. My little dude is actually saying words now and it is truly mind blowing. He likes to pick up my phone, put it to his ear and say “hewo.” Which is strange because I almost never actually talk on the phone!
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Aug 9, 2022 18:09
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Tom Smykowski posted:Some of the older folks I work with have been continuously horrified when Ive discussed parenting with them over the 2 years of my kids life so far Jesus Christ this. We had my mother over from Europe a few months back, and it got to the point where our then 2.25 year old daughter didn’t want to do anything with her - because apparently my mum thinks kids don’t deserve to have feelings or preferences, and can just be ridden roughshod over. The suggestion to spank her also came up. Between outdated ideas and bad recall / wishful thinking, I basically don’t feel like I can leave my mother unsupervised with our daughter. The best example was toilet training - apparently, I made like Athena and sprung fully-formed from my mother’s body, penis in hand, and walked over to the next toilet to take a piss. Fully toilet trained by ~18 or so months, maybe earlier. Our daughter was in the middle of training. About a 70% hit rate on peeing, 1% on pooping. My mother suggested spanking our daughter for pooping herself as matter of course. Now she’s 2.5 years old and 99% on peeing and approaching 99% on pooping. Obviously, physical punishment would have made this significantly better. WTF
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Aug 9, 2022 18:17
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Hadlock posted:I've been looking at these kids fire tablets for a while. Maybe time to pull it trigger on that. She respects my phone and will give me mine when asked, but is less (not at all) obedient when it comes to wife's phone I bought a kid's Fire tablet last Black Friday, thinking at the very least it would be a cheap way to stream downloaded videos on long car rides. I regret spending even the sale price amount of money. It is hot garbage and bad even at running Amazon's own Prime Video app. I'd recommend getting a real Android or iPad tablet if you can at all manage it. Or if not, just use your phone.
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Aug 9, 2022 18:30
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morothar posted:
Every time we see my mother in law she asks why we're not hitting it kids, and then tells us how we're ruining our kids by not hitting them pretty much any time they inconvenience us... We're always in the room when she's around or kids these days.
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Aug 9, 2022 18:54
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Muir posted:I bought a kid's Fire tablet last Black Friday, thinking at the very least it would be a cheap way to stream downloaded videos on long car rides. I regret spending even the sale price amount of money. It is hot garbage and bad even at running Amazon's own Prime Video app. I'd recommend getting a real Android or iPad tablet if you can at all manage it. Or if not, just use your phone. Our daughter sunk the ancient iPad Air 2 the other day, so I figured we’d try a Fire tablet - absolute, horrific garbage, and I have no idea how people manage the content. You’d an basically only deactivate classes of content, or deactivate content by keyword. Bought a refurb 2018 iPad off Amazon: allowed two apps only. Done. Super clean, 100% control, other than having to block the never ending sequence of Coco Melon channels on YouTube Kids.
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Aug 9, 2022 19:17
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morothar posted:Between outdated ideas and bad recall / wishful thinking, I basically don’t feel like I can leave my mother unsupervised with our daughter. had my mom visiting over the weekend. realized she doesn't know how to talk to a 6yo. helped me understand why i was hosed up as a kid. 
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Aug 9, 2022 19:18
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precious
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Ok I feel so much better now about people around me telling me I need to hit my kid. Glad I’m not alone in that. Since telling my coworker I’m close with about my struggles she’s been pointing me towards articles about raising strong willed children and I’ve learned a lot. Most things we already do like let her explore on her own and learn things herself as long as her life isn’t in danger. Going to link a few to family next time they want me to beat on my kid.
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Aug 9, 2022 20:37
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Sarah posted:Ok I feel so much better now about people around me telling me I need to hit my kid. Glad I’m not alone in that. There was a good paper review on a podcast the other day. Basically, less punishment is less damaging than more punishment, but still more damaging than no punishment: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aH...UEegQIDRAT&ep=6 (Serious Inquiries Only 332)
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Aug 9, 2022 20:59
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Hitting the child only breaks the bond of trust between you and teaches them to comply out of fear instead of actually learning the lesson and your expectations.
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Aug 9, 2022 21:01
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Manwithastick posted:My 5 month 3 week year old still doesn’t roll over or air up and it causes me nothing but angst - any tips? This is no big deal. Don’t stress. Our strategy was tummy time and putting things they wanted just out of reach. They’ll get there when they get there on their own time.
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Aug 9, 2022 21:44
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Arkanomen posted:Hitting the child only breaks the bond of trust between you and teaches them to comply out of fear instead of actually learning the lesson and your expectations. sounds great, thanks for the advice. what do you mean by "bond of trust" - my mother
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Aug 9, 2022 22:00
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re: kids and screens, we've had our share of "why can't I tap the magazine page" chuckles, but she also taught us that you can swipe the album art in the little "currently playing" section of the spotify app, so clearly her pattern recognition skills are developing just fine.
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Aug 9, 2022 23:13
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There are definitely ways of punishing your child that don't involve violence. As a sort of related aside: from my recent experiences of a trip to visit my parents: Shouting at your kids because you're frustrated or stressed is really, really really, really really traumatizing and makes them hate you.
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Aug 9, 2022 23:14
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morothar posted:There was a good paper review on a podcast the other day. Basically, less punishment is less damaging than more punishment, but still more damaging than no punishment: Thanks for posting that. I was aware that physical punishments were detrimental, but I was unaware that they are also totally ineffective at achieving any of the desired outcomes. That’s a abysmal set of statistics. I thought there might some edge cases where physical intervention to secure compliance might be a good idea. But nope, never. I’ll need to repeat that to myself next time my 3 year old decides to be totally defiant with that poo poo-eating-grin she has managed to perfect.
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Aug 9, 2022 23:17
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Dobbs_Head posted:Thanks for posting that. I was aware that physical punishments were detrimental, but I was unaware that they are also totally ineffective at achieving any of the desired outcomes. That’s a abysmal set of statistics. I thought there might some edge cases where physical intervention to secure compliance might be a good idea. But nope, never. That’s how I felt about it. I am generally very much opposed to physical punishment, but classic and operating conditioning are key convictions of mine in terms of how people modify their behavior Learning that no, there really isn’t any instance where the outcome was positive was a nice attitude adjuster for me.
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Aug 9, 2022 23:28
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My 2-3yo nephew basically never listens to instructions, but when babysitting him, picking him up (gently) by his ankles upside down and setting him down (again, gently) got the point across that he needed to behave without further escalation. Just a really strong signal that "yes, you found the limit, and uncle hadlock is setting a boundary here". Most of his misbehaving was just him exploring limits and boundaries, which his parents were very hesitant to set I'm his favorite of all his aunts and uncles, by a wide margin Not sure how to deal with misbehaving children that weigh more than 40lbs though. Beating them probably isn't a good solution though yeah Lazy_Liberal posted:had my mom visiting over the weekend. realized she doesn't know how to talk to a 6yo. helped me understand why i was hosed up as a kid. Yeah watching my mom do/say frustrating things with my daughter, exactly the same as she did with me, sort of settled a lot of questions I had about various conflicts I had with my mom growing up
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Aug 9, 2022 23:37
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External Organs posted:Huh? I am posting from a rotary phone This made me laugh out loud. My son said Mama today!! Pretty sure it was just lucky, but I’ll take it! My daughter has been calling me Mother for some reason, it’s pretty funny, unless we are in public. I swear I’m not making her call me that.
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Aug 10, 2022 03:05
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morothar posted:Our daughter sunk the ancient iPad Air 2 the other day, so I figured we’d try a Fire tablet - absolute, horrific garbage, and I have no idea how people manage the content. You’d an basically only deactivate classes of content, or deactivate content by keyword. Nthing this. Maybe I’m used to apple devices but beyond the deluge of garbage apps and layout, the device itself is an unresponsive pos. I can handle a screaming toddler no problem, but I can’t tolerate a tablet in 2022 seizing up when I’m trying to deal with a screaming toddler.
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Aug 10, 2022 03:37
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Hippie Hedgehog posted:This must be a language issue or something because I cannot believe you fed your kids breast milk only until two years old. What does "exclusively" mean in this context? Exclusive meaning if they had milk, it was breast milk, and they nursed. Neither was particularly interested in bottles. They ate regular food of course at the usual milestones and ages.
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Aug 10, 2022 06:22
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After waiting 90+ days for our daughter to test negative before going back to daycare. Two days being back and she has a cough and is congested. FFS.
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Aug 10, 2022 10:42
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calandryll posted:After waiting 90+ days for our daughter to test negative before going back to daycare. Two days being back and she has a cough and is congested. FFS. 90 days?? I assume this is COVID?
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Aug 10, 2022 11:08
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If that was daycare policy I sure hope they weren’t requiring you pay for a spot for 3 months.
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Aug 10, 2022 11:32
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they've detected a bunch of poliovirus here in london, so all kids 1 - 9 are being offered additional vaccinations as an urgent response measure loving polio, in 2022 
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Aug 10, 2022 12:42
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kecske posted:they've detected a bunch of poliovirus here in london, so all kids 1 - 9 are being offered additional vaccinations as an urgent response measure Link? I know there was that one guy running around NYC unvaccinated for 6 months who only finally came in for treatment when his legs stopped working*, and there's been an uptick in wastewater detection of polio in NYC wastewater, but this is the first I'm hearing of polio in London *Got it via local community spread, not from traveling at an affected region
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Aug 10, 2022 13:04
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