|
gay frog chemicals posted:I mean if the guy knew she was into him he would have said so in the post. He's just dumb. Thats basically my stance. The man says hes bad with women and doesn't say a single thing about rejecting her or anything. Dude just sounds like an oblivious young man not getting the signals women put out.
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 09:50
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 8, 2024 18:13 |
|
|
Ghost Leviathan posted:I thought we were at the point of 'not picking up on your hints' not being an acceptable excuse anymore. What? You mean it's unacceptable that he's not picking up on her being interested, or it's unacceptable that she's not picking up on him not being interested?
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 09:51
|
|
|
boofhead posted:Doesn't actually say that she got her friends to yell at him, just that he learned (through an insider i guess) that they're unhappy with him ah yeah good point, he's more just persona non grata with that social group now. still though, wtf, you got rejected in the kindest and most mild manner, what a reason to put out a burn notice for someone among your friends I also think him not picking up the hint is a bit of a red herring - she thinks he did, and her reaction to getting a 'no' seems pretty entitled. StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 10:05 on Aug 14, 2022 |
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 09:59
|
|
|
Lottery of Babylon posted:You're right OP, if she wants to make rent why doesn't she just sell the tattoo she got last year. Who the gently caress is a tattoo artist good enough to charge $400 but still willing to tattoo a 16 year old?
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 10:07
|
|
|
Deformed Church posted:Who the gently caress is a tattoo artist good enough to charge $400 but still willing to tattoo a 16 year old? Or how does an emancipated 16 year old get parental consent? If it doesn't have to be a parent/guardian then maybe the OP's siblings who actually care for the daughter signed off on it.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 10:08
|
|
|
boofhead posted:What? You mean it's unacceptable that he's not picking up on her being interested, or it's unacceptable that she's not picking up on him not being interested? Being angry at someone for not knowing something you don't tell them.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 10:20
|
|
|
I mean they might have thought he was just doing a mean bit and she didn't need an escort home.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 10:33
|
|
|
Fil5000 posted:He's SIXTEEN. So wait, does this mean all of this has happened in less than a year? Also, is the driving test in the US just pointing at the car and asking the potential driver "Is that a car"? How the gently caress does someone this idiotic get a drivers license? "I've been so good since I got my first ticket, I've just continued breaking speed limits and slamming my car into kerbs" When I lived in florida it was common for us europeans and especially norwegians to pay the 75 dollars and spend the 45 minutes it took to drive in circles around a parking lot, bing bang boom heres your licence. Youd have to take a test when returning home but it beat spending 6 months and 2000 dollars or more on it back home.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 11:11
|
|
|
Booky posted:AITA for walking a woman home? gay frog chemicals posted:I mean if the guy knew she was into him he would have said so in the post. He's just dumb. I've basically done the exact same thing1, even with a girl who there was some clear chemistry with. Young people can be really, really goddamn dense sometimes. That's my excuse and I'm sticking with it! 1Twice.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 11:41
|
|
|
It really, really cannot be overstated, boys are dumb. I know, I was one. If you don't tell us to our face that you like us, we're probably not going to get the hint because (if the boy in question isn't a poo poo person) we don't want to be creepy and/or make assumptions. Say it, or accept the possibility of your signals sailing over our heads.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 11:51
|
|
|
Malachite_Dragon posted:It really, really cannot be overstated, boys are dumb. I know, I was one. If you don't tell us to our face that you like us, we're probably not going to get the hint because (if the boy in question isn't a poo poo person) we don't want to be creepy and/or make assumptions. Say it, or accept the possibility of your signals sailing over our heads. I'm pretty sure I had one of these revelations literally reading this discussion. I thought she just wanted an excuse to leave when I happened to be leaving!
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 12:43
|
|
|
i also have been completely oblivious to ladies attentions over the years, man I don't miss being that awkward.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 12:55
|
|
|
Malachite_Dragon posted:It really, really cannot be overstated, boys are dumb. I know, I was one. If you don't tell us to our face that you like us, we're probably not going to get the hint because (if the boy in question isn't a poo poo person) we don't want to be creepy and/or make assumptions. Say it, or accept the possibility of your signals sailing over our heads. I have (legally) not been a boy half my life now and I still don't realise this stuff. It takes my partner to point out that people have been flirting with me or checking me out. Fortunately she was straight to the point at the time and didn't leave any ambiguity.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 12:59
|
|
|
Cowslips Warren posted:Fun fact: I know a dude who is 6'6'' or so and he has no loving luck with ladies because he has zero social skills. Meanwhile the 5'4'' dude at work always has dates and various girlfriends because he has the social skills not to tell a woman at first meeting he likes how tight her shirt is because her breasts are really nice, unlike six foot tall Chad over there. I was worried that you somehow knew me until the end, where I sighed with relief because I'm not a creep, just so oblivious that I get told flat out that a woman is into me and still don't believe her
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 13:18
|
|
|
Deformed Church posted:I'm pretty sure I had one of these revelations literally reading this discussion. I thought she just wanted an excuse to leave when I happened to be leaving! Ah welcome to club, we've been sending invites for years but you never seemed to get why we were sending them.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 13:26
|
|
|
Speaking as a woman who didn’t catch on that a guy wanted to be more than friends even after he: tried to cover the dinner we went on (which I thought was a platonic colleague catch up), told me about his loneliness after his last break up months ago (I was very sympathetic) and offered to buy me a ps4 so we could game together (neat but no thanks, I travel too much!). And I still didn’t realise until it was pointed out to me by some other women well after the fact on recounting how it was a nice hang out… Obliviousness isn’t gender specific.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 13:30
|
|
|
I went an evening with someone where all their friends mysteriously canceled, they showed up in formal attire, and had dinner reservations as "backup" since they "thought" their friends would cancel. Somewhere around hour five where I was desperately coming up with activities to entertain this person and they kept wanting to keep hanging out is when the thought began to creep into my mind, "is it possible this is actually a date?"
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 14:01
|
|
|
I was once sat with a girl who after several hours of drunk conversation was forced to say to me "Shall we have sex then?" before I understood why she'd hung around my place long after everyone else had gone home.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 14:04
|
|
|
Actias posted:r/relationships: A badly organised orgy is so cringe.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 14:21
|
|
|
Ghost Leviathan posted:I thought we were at the point of 'not picking up on your hints' not being an acceptable excuse anymore. Edit: nvm
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 14:57
|
|
|
There have been a couple times where I missed signals from women. One girl in particular sat real close to me for a couple hours, watching me play video games when she had no interest in it. My excuse for being oblivious is that I was in the closet. Now that i'm out of it, i now fail to pick up signals from men if they aren't being overt 
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 15:01
|
|
|
Fil5000 posted:I was once sat with a girl who after several hours of drunk conversation was forced to say to me "Shall we have sex then?" before I understood why she'd hung around my place long after everyone else had gone home. "No we shan't! Good night, Miss!"
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 15:02
|
|
|
A friend of mine was going home from grad school because it wasn't working out. A girl who'd been friendly with him wrote him an email confessing that she liked him, she was into him, and she wished they'd had more of a chance and she hoped things could work out in the future. Well he came back to school a semester later, but he didn't follow up on the email. He later explained to me that he wasn't sure she was serious, and he didn't want things to be weird. At this point in our conversation I was like oooohhh noooo brother, women don't state their feelings in writing if they're not serious. That's not a thing. Anyhow, she eventually managed to get the two of them alone on a trip backpacking through the Peruvian Andes and on day 6 of 11, made her move. They're married with two kids now lol.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 15:05
|
|
|
Added breaks and punctuation because it was one goddamn sentence. AITA For Yelling at a girl in the middle of a lecture? quote:CONTEXT (I am 22, Guy ,and I attend a class where a girl whose personality is terrible attends.. I hate the way she looks down at people and she feels entitled to everyone's time and efforts The problem is , it is obvious that she has feeling for me, she keeps talking to me and sitting next to me in class I did not give her my number yet she got it from somebody else and keeps texting me one time I caught her taking pictures of me and when I confronted her with that she said that she was taking pictures of the notes that the proffesor wrote on the board which is a lie because I clearly saw her copying those notes earlier
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 15:12
|
|
|
The sad thing is that this is connected to the 'nice guy' problem. If you're a woman who is oblivious to men trying to come on to you, you can wind up in that area where the dude is offended and angry and says you owe him sex now because of all the time he's put in, when you thought you were just having nice friendly hangout times. I'm sure it happens in all gender configurations but ugh.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 15:13
|
|
|
HopperUK posted:The sad thing is that this is connected to the 'nice guy' problem. If you're a woman who is oblivious to men trying to come on to you, you can wind up in that area where the dude is offended and angry and says you owe him sex now because of all the time he's put in, when you thought you were just having nice friendly hangout times. When I read the title I wondered did this girl know he was "walking her home". Followed by "how insistent was this dude about walking her home, how upset did he get that she didn't immediately acquiesce". Yeah she missed out but that's a heartwarmingly innocent ending compared to what I was dreading.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 15:17
|
|
|
To add to the pile of obliviousness, at a volunteer thing years ago I had no idea why another volunteer kept offering to help me with the stuff I was in charge of, hanging around more and more over the course of months, being really nice to me. I appreciated the assistance, but completely missed all of the flirting going on the whole time. It was an outdoor activity, and at one point I loving threw a pinecone in their face because I thought we were just goofing around while they were super confused at the weird signals they were getting from me. Disaster lesbians. It took a mutual friend getting fed up with my stupid poo poo, coming up to me after the event we had all put together was over, and telling me right to my face that the other volunteer was interested in me before I even considered it was possible. I am a clueless goddamn dipshit, but anyway we're married now. Lucky for me the pinecone didn't put them off. Traxus IV fucked around with this message at 15:24 on Aug 14, 2022 |
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 15:19
|
|
|
It's one of those things that seems to be gradually dying out but still happens where girls are taught and socialised to communicate indirectly via implication and hints while boys... aren't. So by adulthood they're basically speaking different languages.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 15:21
|
|
|
Ghost Leviathan posted:It's one of those things that seems to be gradually dying out but still happens where girls are taught and socialised to communicate indirectly via implication and hints while boys... aren't. So by adulthood they're basically speaking different languages. I wonder how much of this is direct teaching 'do not displease people', and how much is 'if I am too directly confrontational things could get scary fast'. Because both are huge factors in any confrontation I've ever had with a man. Mind you the last time I directly told some guy at work not to touch me he burst into tears and frankly that was just embarrassing.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 15:34
|
|
|
Cowslips Warren posted:Added breaks and punctuation because it was one goddamn sentence. Okay Mr Too Nice so you got confused and had a meltdown in front of 100 people, the good news is that you definitely have some sort of disorder that you should pursue treatment for
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 15:34
|
|
|
BrigadierSensible posted:On the last name stuff. We have a very noticably Indian last name, (as noticably Indian as Tendulkar, but way more common.) And as such are constantly getting people surprised when they learn our names. My brother's wife cops it as well. She is a kindergarten teacher, and has parents come up to her and say "When my daughter said her teacher was Mrs "Tendulkar"(not our real name), I didn't expect it to be a white woman. This was an interesting post. And this bit makes me wonder how much overlap there is between the "wife and children must have husband's name!!" people we see in this thread, and the "white woman is called Mrs Jayawardene?? Does not compute" people..
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 15:36
|
|
|
Barudak posted:My driving exam was exactly 4 left turns on a city block. I failed my first exam because the instructor told me to kill a pedestrian and I didn't.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 15:41
|
|
|
HopperUK posted:I wonder how much of this is direct teaching 'do not displease people', and how much is 'if I am too directly confrontational things could get scary fast'. Because both are huge factors in any confrontation I've ever had with a man. Mind you the last time I directly told some guy at work not to touch me he burst into tears and frankly that was just embarrassing. This entirely. It is a fine line between making a dude angry/dangerous and trying to keep the peace and yourself safe. AITA for saying a customer is unattractive when she made me uncomfortable quote:(REPOST) This happens all the time with the genders reversed. It shouldn't happen at all.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 15:48
|
|
|
I got to contribute to this as well because I'm a moron In undergrad there was a bar on campus where you could smoke indoors, and the crew of goths/ravers I hung out with stayed there all day. One of the girls in the group (who, for the record, was loving gorgeous and exponentially well out of my ugly rear end' league) started complaining that there was never a spot to sit so she'd consistently wind up sitting on my lap for like, hours, while we were sitting around smoking cigarettes. This progressed to her hanging out at my place for hours nightly as well. Finally after like a month of this (!) one of the group made some comment about how we were practically a couple, which I laughed off, because like, clearly this is just how friends act and she's not interested in me. That night at my house she brings this remark up and the conversation escalates to "dude I like you, the gently caress is wrong with you". Eventually we got together and then broke up a few months later as I still couldn't get out of my own head regarding the disparity between us.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 16:11
|
|
|
AITA Canceling a vacation because of one lovely kidquote:I have been coparenting my roommates kids for a few years now, I have a good job and she can’t ever hold one. I felt bad and started helping out financially and now I support the kids equally if not more than she does. She does show remorse about this from time to time, and I tell her not to stress about it, that I care about the children’s well being more than my own money. I genuinely do. am i the doormat?
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 16:24
|
|
|
Foo Diddley posted:AITA Canceling a vacation because of one lovely kid Is this one of those reading comprehension tests that like these are somehow their roomates kids so they need a roomate, but they can afford a trip to disney for children that aren't their own
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 16:43
|
|
|
Cowslips Warren posted:Added breaks and punctuation because it was one goddamn sentence. Before she got into the tank, you see girls 'pretend' to pull their hair into ponytails, but they don't. That's what she did.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 16:49
|
|
|
Barudak posted:Is this one of those reading comprehension tests that like these are somehow their roomates kids so they need a roomate, but they can afford a trip to disney for children that aren't their own I'm getting some real "sappho and her friend" vibes from that. But I don't know why the OP would feel the need to hide that she's in a relationship with the mother. Unless she's not, in which case, what the utter gently caress is she doing?
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 17:09
|
|
|
Megillah Gorilla posted:I'm getting some real "sappho and her friend" vibes from that. But I don't know why the OP would feel the need to hide that she's in a relationship with the mother. She says "I want us to go to family therapy" but explicitly said roomate so like please, lady, Im begging you, tell me you are loving this problem.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 17:13
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 8, 2024 18:13 |
|
|
Barudak posted:She says "I want us to go to family therapy" but explicitly said roomate so like please, lady, Im begging you, tell me you are loving this problem. nope! she specifies in the comments that she's just getting used, there's nothing romantic about it: quote:More info: Do you have a romantic relationship with the mother?How come the kids mother isn't defending you to her son? OP posted:We are best friends. Platonic friendship, nothing romantic. I don’t see the relevance though. quote:What do you get back from this friendship? All i see is that she takes and takes but you give and give. A friendshipshould be equal. But here your "friend" seems to be a user and you are the nanny with atm-function. OP posted:🤷♀️ I grew up poor and struggling, came in as roommate and saw that I could give them a better childhood than I did. it’s just gotten complicated and gone overboard since then.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2022 17:19
|
|