r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Kitfox88 posted:

so am i and that's why god gave us hands and those hands gave us fleshlights if you're really picky about it.

Or, hear me out, they could be having sex with their high earning wives.

# ? Aug 22, 2022 03:56

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# ? May 30, 2024 18:21

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Kurieg posted:

AITA for making my MIL be the one to deliver bad news to my children?

r/relationships: That collar was mine. There is no dog.

# ? Aug 22, 2022 04:16

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Or, hear me out, they could be having sex with their high earning wives.

maybe i put too much logic into it when i assumed they cheated due to their wife being busy at work

# ? Aug 22, 2022 04:17

Ensign Expendable: Nov 11, 2008; Lager beer is proof that god loves us; Pillbug

Probably, the reason is likely the same as any of the other posts.
1) I want to something I shouldn't have/do
2) I'm the main character of life, so I'm sure there will be no consequences if I do it anyway
3) Oh no

# ? Aug 22, 2022 04:19

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

Kurieg posted:

AITA for making my MIL be the one to deliver bad news to my children?

"a perfect storm of events happened where our youngest requested one of �daddy�s fluffy towels� after his bath."

no, a ""perfect storm"" of your MIL being a nosy so-and-so occurred

# ? Aug 22, 2022 04:41

Blue Moonlight: Apr 28, 2005; Bitter and Sarcastic

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for telling my sister that the karen phytoplankton supplements she sells are snake-oil and have no medical value?

quote:
My sister has six daughters�My parents asked me not to say anything to my sister because this is the first job she has ever had in her life and she was happy about finally being able to contribute financially. Also she thinks it means her and my brother-in-law will be able to rely on my parents and his parents a little less. When I talked to my sister about the supplements being a scam she got mad and my brother-in-law and my parents think I�m being too hard on her.

It's a tragedy "karen phytoplankton supplements " is too long for a username.

This is just loving depressing. This woman is stuck in some tradwife hell that she was likely coerced into before or after having her first kid at 18, had kids in diapers and pull-ups for a decade straight, and everyone in her life but the OP is content with giving her pat-on-the-head busy work so she feels less awful about the existential crisis she knows their family is just barely avoiding.

# ? Aug 22, 2022 04:45

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Kurieg posted:

MIL knew exactly what she was doing and just wanted to shame them. OP in the comments is saying they're considering getting a puppy just so they don't have to be the bad guys after MIL got their hopes up.

Do not get the dog you, and I mean this time literally, loving idiots.

# ? Aug 22, 2022 04:57

Haschel Cedricson: Jan 4, 2006; Brinkmanship

The quincea�era story reminds me of when my daughter came home from kindergarten telling us that she had learned about Dia de los Muertos from her classmates and she wanted to make an altar too with pictures of my grandma, my great-aunt, my parents' dog, and our cat. I was uncomfortable with this because we are white as hell and I know that the ofrenda is for people and not pets.

So we reached out to her Spanish teacher and some Hispanic friends and they thought it was a good idea and an opportunity to teach about grief, and we got tips on how to do it in a way that was respectful and not a grotesque mockery of tradition.

Anyway, that girl absolutely deserves her quincea�era.

# ? Aug 22, 2022 05:10

Quackles: Aug 11, 2018; Pixels of Light.

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for telling my sister that the karen phytoplankton supplements she sells are snake-oil and have no medical value?

It's a tragedy "karen phytoplankton supplements " is too long for a username.

r/relationships: karen phytoplankton supplements

# ? Aug 22, 2022 05:15

Ulf: Jul 15, 2001; FOUR COLORS
ONE LOVE; Nap Ghost

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for spilling family secrets?

Finding that out at that age has got to be a woo.

I found out at age 45 that my dad wasn�t my dad, when my son took a DNA test (his mom�s hobby is genealogy). It was indeed a trip.

(I never knew my �dad� very well so no hard feelings, just feels weird because I am �First Middle Lastname Jr.� and my own name feels like a lie now)

# ? Aug 22, 2022 05:16

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

BlancoNino posted:

You can buy muriatic acid at most hardware stores and that'll do the trick for stubborn tile and grout. Make sure the room is well ventilated and you are wearing ppe because it will burn the poo poo out of you and put out a lot of fumes. It can be diluted pretty well, but always add acid to water, not the other way around, because chemistry.

Batterypowered7 posted:

Have you tried just grabbing him by the nape of the neck and just shoving his face in it? Maybe you should get him some of those pee pee pads to place on the floor before he goes.

mediaphage posted:

Try a pretty wet paste of oxyclean and leave it on for an hour. Once the urine is all gone, bring out the bleach

Thanks everyone for the advice. Please accept this video as a gesture of appreciation https://youtu.be/Ms6YzGIQ7IM

# ? Aug 22, 2022 05:23

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

Grape posted:

It's nice for instance that you had a backup obsessive topic after the previous one got shut down by moderation.

Your go to obsessive topic of �being needlessly hostile� is leaving you with a final chance in this thread.

Now, this bit applies to everyone in this thread! Yes, now everyone is on the same final chance!

Any imported weird goon drama or incredibly silly childish personal snipes here will give you a threadban. If you can�t post about others interpersonal issues without somehow starring in your own sadder interpersonal failure within the thread means you don�t get to post here.

Please don�t make me have to keep track of this! I have better things to do! Go post about posters in QCS, nail your theses on bad goons to a loving church in Germany, or fingerpaint it in a public bathroom, whatever works, just don�t do it here!

# ? Aug 22, 2022 05:34

Tendales: Mar 9, 2012

Kurieg posted:

AITA for telling my dad what his fianc� said and causing ''wedding troubles''?

AITA for making my MIL be the one to deliver bad news to my children?

MIL knew exactly what she was doing and just wanted to shame them. OP in the comments is saying they're considering getting a puppy just so they don't have to be the bad guys after MIL got their hopes up.

Tell them that you already got the puppy, that's why you have the collar, but because of MIL the puppy is gone forever. MIL will explain what happened, go ask her what she did to your puppy.

# ? Aug 22, 2022 05:37

Cloacamazing!: Apr 18, 2018; Too cute to be evil

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for telling my sister that the karen phytoplankton supplements she sells are snake-oil and have no medical value?

It's a tragedy "karen phytoplankton supplements " is too long for a username.

Would "Karen Supplements" fit? It's missing the phytoplankton, but the idea of supplements for increase your Karen-ness is pretty great too.

# ? Aug 22, 2022 05:40

sugar free jazz: Mar 5, 2008

Kuros posted:

This has gotta be rage bait from the responses from OP in the comments.

AITA for not throwing my youngest a Quincea�era when I threw one for her older sister, due to cultural significance?

lmao

# ? Aug 22, 2022 05:52

Crocobile: Dec 2, 2006

I just finished catching up on the last thread so I can�t remember if it was here or there that folks were talking about the phenomenon where a lovely husband projects all his inadequacies onto his wife and then flips out when she corrects him.

AITA for embarassing my husband?

quote:

so I (32f) and my husband (35m) have been together for eight years, married for six. My husband has always talked about having kids. We decided we were ready last year.

After months of stress and no results, we went to a doctor and found out my husband is infertile. He's always deeply wanted to be a father, so this was a big deal to him. We took a few months to process - and he grieved the loss, understandably so.

To my surprise, he suggested we go to a sperm bank. I was a little unsure if trying so soon would be a good idea, but he insisted that neither of us are getting younger - and he was completely okay with things. He's always been pretty blunt with his feelings, good or bad, so I thought it was alright. At first, it was.

Then we started looking through the book at the descriptions of the donors, and all of a sudden my husband's attitude changed. He demanded to see some samples of sperm from shorter men, because "it's a man thing" and he apparently wouldn't be able to love "someone else's son" that's taller than him, living in �his� house. I stopped the appointment, and we got into a terrible fight on the way home.

He apologized saying he was just emotional realizing it wouldn't really be his son. That the book made it seem real. We agreed to tentatively start the process again - but throughout the week he made comments about how "I might as well just cheat on him" and snide remarks about how my boss would be happy to "put a baby in me" if I asked. He even got jealous of my BROTHER IN LAW, and made a very rude comment to him and my sister about how we could swap for a night and "all get what we wanted ''. I shut the entire thing down after that, saying I didn't want to have kids with him when he was acting like this, maybe never after that.

With obligations to visit his family for a birthday dinner, we did. It was an alright, if slightly cold evening, until his mother asked me to get him and a few others back inside. I wasn't surprised to find them complaining about me, but the subject matter shocked me. He'd told them our recent marital problems were because I was infertile, due to my "old age". I listened as he told his brother, on and on about how he "just wasn't sure if I was worth the effort" and "maybe he should try to find someone younger while he still could." They joked about the women he could be sleeping with. It was crass, insulting and deeply embarrassing. It also wasn't true. I was livid.

I went back inside and grabbed the car keys, and when asked why I was crying, I told everyone in the room, all adults, the truth. I left him there and ignored his calls. When he finally came home, we had the biggest argument of our lives about how I shared such a big insecurity and shamed him to his family. That his mother cried. I'm currently staying with my sister, and I think our marriage may be irreparable.

He says I humiliated him, and I know that I did. But he was perfectly fine lying to humiliate me and claiming he wanted to leave me. AITA?

# ? Aug 22, 2022 05:56

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

holy lol at the audacity of that, expecting an apology when all she did was reveal he was talking about what he must be thinking SHE'LL do instead of himself. hope she gets out and gets a divorce.

AITA for refusing to not get my daughter the new phone that she wanted because of something she said about her stepmom in her diary?

quote:

My (32F) daughter Isabella (13F) has a diary that was given to her last year by me.

It was so she could write how she feels. I never went into it because it�s her�s and I told her father, Jake that he can�t go into either unless it�s something very serious.

Another thing is that Isabella has wanted a new phone since last month and I told her if she can make enough money to pay off half of what�s left of the current phone I�d get her the one she wants.

Last week Jake�s girlfriend, Naz (35F) went through the diary after she left it at her dad�s house.

In the diary Isabella wrote how she feels that she�s losing her dad to Naz�s kids.

Apparently that hurt Naz�s feelings and brought it up to Jake.

Jake thinks that isabella is making him look bad and is purposely trying to hurt Naz.

I told him that he should be more focused on trying to make Isabella feel less like she�s losing her dad instead of how Naz feels about something she wasn�t even supposed to see.

I told him that she�s entitled to feel that way and it isn�t her fault. He told me that I should at least punish her for not telling him and badmouthing Naz in her diary.

Jake said that she shouldn�t be able to get the phone. I told him that he was missing the point and he�s only focusing on how Naz feels and that I�m not going not get her the phone when I promised her it and she�s been saving up in hopes for it.

Jake said that what I�m doing is ruining how we coparent and that we�re supposed to be united in punishments for Isabella.

EDIT: guys i realize the title is confusing, sorry I meant stepmom�s kids and I can�t edit it.

# ? Aug 22, 2022 06:10

Crocobile: Dec 2, 2006

Sorry to double post but this one�s kinda fun!

AITA for refusing to cater to my girlfriend�s food preferences?

quote:

I (28M) have been with my lovely gf (29F) for 3 years, we moved in together about a year ago. Aside from this issue, our relationship is perfect. She�s a smart, compassionate, and successful woman and I love her very much.

I work part-time while my gf works full-time as a nurse. As such, I have taken up more of the chores around the house, including cooking. I love to cook so I have no issue doing it.

However, my gf�s food preferences are so insanely restrictive that it has sucked the joy out of cooking for me. She refuses to eat anything she deems �unhealthy� which means no spaghetti, no hamburgers, no sloppy joes, no chili, nothing. Our go-to meal is grilled chicken with fresh veggies, which is delicious, but not �I�ll eat this 7 days a week� delicious.

I�m so bored of eating the same meals over and over. Anything with �too many� carbs? No. Anything greasy? No. A few times I�ve made my family�s lasagna, or grilled some hamburgers, stuff that I want to eat, and my gf would blow up at me and refuse to eat and guilt me about it.

I have reached my limit. I haven�t eaten something I like to eat in almost a year. I sat her down a few days ago and said I was going to start cooking things I want to eat. I would still incorporate her favorite meals during the week, but some days I would cook stuff that I liked too.

She was furious. She said that it was unfair of me to cook something she doesn�t like, especially when she works long shifts and looks forward to dinner. She said that we both eat the healthy meals, whereas she would not eat the unhealthy meals, so I�d be selfish for cooking something that only one of us could eat.

She asked me to make two meals. I said that it was unfair for her to expect me to cook two separate meals every night. I said she CAN eat the unhealthy meals, she chooses not to.

I told her sorry, but if I�m cooking, I want to make things I like sometimes too. She was so upset that she went to stay with her parents.

Now she is calling me an AH as well as her family (they all eat only healthy meals). I just miss hot dogs and french fries!

AITA?

I am loling that this guy just wants to make hamburgers and sloppy joes and chili but I�m inclined to judge in his favor. In the comments he specifies that he works about 30h/week to her 45-50, and he handles all the chores except laundry. I don�t quite understand though why �eating healthy� means eating the same thing everyday except lack of imagination.

# ? Aug 22, 2022 06:18

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Kitfox88 posted:

holy lol at the audacity of that, expecting an apology when all she did was reveal he was talking about what he must be thinking SHE'LL do instead of himself. hope she gets out and gets a divorce.

AITA for refusing to not get my daughter the new phone that she wanted because of something she said about her stepmom in her diary?

Jake thinks that isabella is making him look bad and is purposely trying to hurt Naz.

Uh... So she's trying to make him look bad and hurt Naz by writing something in a private place nobody else is supposed to read? gently caress that.

# ? Aug 22, 2022 06:19

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

Crocobile posted:

Sorry to double post but this one�s kinda fun!

AITA for refusing to cater to my girlfriend�s food preferences?

I am loling that this guy just wants to make hamburgers and sloppy joes and chili but I�m inclined to judge in his favor. In the comments he specifies that he works about 30h/week to her 45-50, and he handles all the chores except laundry. I don�t quite understand though why �eating healthy� means eating the same thing everyday except lack of imagination.

He says she vetos anything with grease or 'too many carbs' so I'm presuming she's just overly restrictive about it. Maybe seeing a few too many people with unhealthy diets and the fallout due to her job as a nurse? :iiam:

Either way it's overboard on her part, eating some less than healthy foods a few nights a week isn't going to kill you instantly, so unless she has some sort of medical deal that forces her to only eat certain things I'm on his side.

# ? Aug 22, 2022 06:36

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

boofhead posted:

Parentingmogged by my own father

# ? Aug 22, 2022 06:36

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Kitfox88 posted:

AITA for refusing to not get my daughter the new phone that she wanted because of something she said about her stepmom in her diary?

Has anyone ever kept a diary that their parents promised was secure and not had them read it? Lesson learned kid, don't put it in writing

# ? Aug 22, 2022 06:42

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

IT BURNS posted:

The best pizza is sausage, pineapple, and jalapeno; salty, sweet, and spicy in every bite.

It is known.

I usually go pepperoni but agreed

# ? Aug 22, 2022 06:50

Armitag3: Mar 15, 2020; Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.

Crocobile posted:

Sorry to double post but this one�s kinda fun!

AITA for refusing to cater to my girlfriend�s food preferences?

Can't he eat what he wants for lunch and have the healthy stuff for dinner?

# ? Aug 22, 2022 06:51

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Armitag3 posted:

Can't he eat what he wants for lunch and have the healthy stuff for dinner?

Nope, because he also makes her lunch!

# ? Aug 22, 2022 06:52

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Larry Parrish posted:

gently caress anchovy likers, there's just enough of you that my pizza place carrys them but not enough to actually go through an open can before it gets even more vile than normal. And then I have to smell it until your happy rear end comes and picks it up. I don't know why we still stock them honestly cuz we throw away like more than half of every can and we can't find them any smaller. Lol

Just eat em straight outta the can before they go bad

# ? Aug 22, 2022 06:52

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Crocobile posted:

Sorry to double post but this one�s kinda fun!

AITA for refusing to cater to my girlfriend�s food preferences?

I am loling that this guy just wants to make hamburgers and sloppy joes and chili but I�m inclined to judge in his favor. In the comments he specifies that he works about 30h/week to her 45-50, and he handles all the chores except laundry. I don�t quite understand though why �eating healthy� means eating the same thing everyday except lack of imagination.

Just break up. This is not a small thing, no matter how much this dude is trying to minimize it.

# ? Aug 22, 2022 06:55

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

WIBTA for trying to get my roommate potentially evicted for smoking?

quote:

Look I know this is gonna sound like bait, but I�m genuinely conflicted here.

I am a college student in the southern US, and I live in off campus apartments for a few reasons, the main one being to save money since it�s literally cheaper for no good reason. Unfortunately, this does mean that when I rent out a 4-bedroom place, I need to be paired with three other people that I may or may not know that may not even be students. I�m fully okay with that, but it lead to a pretty big issue.

I, along with the two people I actually know, don�t smoke. The dude who just got paired with us smokes a lot of cigarettes. I know it�s an addiction and it�s nearly impossible to quit, but we at least want him to smoke outside (we have a balcony) since none of us want the smell and I�m asthmatic. I have proof that he�s been doing it inside, and I�ve already asked him to not do that, and we even got an email for a smoking violation from the leasing office. ($300usd)

Basically everyone I know says he�s in the wrong here, but if he doesn�t stop the only thing that we can do is complain to the office until they make him leave or he does it on his own, since a fine does nothing to clean the actual air in the apartment.

I know it sounds like a cut and dry case, but I don�t want the guy to go homeless just because my other roommates don�t like the smell and it makes me a little wheezy. I just don�t know if I�d be doing the right thing here, so WIBTA?

By no means the biggest doormat in the thread, but still: drat.

# ? Aug 22, 2022 07:23

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Force him to smoke entire packs of cigs until he learns his lesson

# ? Aug 22, 2022 07:30

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

AITA for forcing my husband to fly back to Greece to get our toddler�s teddy bear that he left behind on purpose?

quote:

My son has a teddy bear that he�s very attached to. Since he takes it everywhere so it isn�t in the best shape and my husband has tried buying him new teddies but he still prefers his old bear.

I flew home from Greece two days earlier than my son and husband. When they got here my son kept asking for his bear but I couldn�t find it so I asked my husband where it was. He told me he had left it there because he bought our son a new teddy that he liked more.

I thought he was joking since our son will play with the new teddy but he always goes back to his bear. I told him to go back to Greece and get it but he laughed me off and said he would get it in 2 weeks as that�s when he plans to go back. We ended up having a fight because I told him I was being serious and he needed to go back immediately and he said I was being ridiculous and this was why our son was so attached to the teddy.

I was even angrier when it was time for our son to go to bed but he wouldn�t stop crying because he couldn�t find his bear, so I brought up how he needed to go and get it again and I wouldn�t drop it until he agreed to go sooner.

AITA?

I'm from the UK and we were staying at a home owned by his parents. Nobody is there so we can't have it mailed.

# ? Aug 22, 2022 07:54

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

lol, if they're travelling internationally for a toy (and multiple times a month even without the toy) and the family owns property in another country, YTA regardless of the details. first world problems and then some.

# ? Aug 22, 2022 10:22

Barudak: May 7, 2007

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

lol, if they're travelling internationally for a toy (and multiple times a month even without the toy) and the family owns property in another country, YTA regardless of the details. first world problems and then some.

I feel like this is tailor crafted to have no one respond out of lack of stakes

# ? Aug 22, 2022 10:38

Peg Sliderskew: Jan 4, 2010

Invisible Clergy posted:

Good start. I'd recommend OP shave Logan's head/put nair in his shampoo/etc also, but this is certainly more than most aita posters do for their poo poo children.

AITA for telling my sister that the karen phytoplankton supplements she sells are snake-oil and have no medical value?

It's a tragedy "karen phytoplankton supplements " is too long for a username.

So... this is why Plankton's computer wife is called Karen?!? Am I the only one who didn't know this?

# ? Aug 22, 2022 10:53

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

lol, if they're travelling internationally for a toy (and multiple times a month even without the toy) and the family owns property in another country, YTA regardless of the details. first world problems and then some.

Eh hard to say. Could be one of them is from Greece or works there and has reason to go back and forth, and given it's the UK it's not like flying internationally for Americans going to Europe. Think more going to Canada from Ohio or something.

# ? Aug 22, 2022 11:04

mediaphage: Mar 22, 2007; Excuse me, pardon me, sheer perfection coming through

this is me reading into things i admit but healthy eating gf feels like there�s trauma somewhere. maybe a relative ate themselves to death, maybe she had one of those moms, maybe she had an eating disorder she never told him about idk. it�s a big response though.

# ? Aug 22, 2022 11:50

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

eating disorder haver here and yeah, get thee to a therapy. Sounds like poo poo I pulled

# ? Aug 22, 2022 12:19

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Someone pulled an absolute masterclass of grifting by leaning into 'Karen' and the kind of woman who would get defensive over it.

# ? Aug 22, 2022 12:29

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Peg Sliderskew posted:

So... this is why Plankton's computer wife is called Karen?!? Am I the only one who didn't know this?

Huh. No, I didn't know either. i always assumed it was just a random-rear end name they picked so they had *something* to call her.

# ? Aug 22, 2022 12:36

AngryRobotsInc: Aug 2, 2011

Not even remotely surprised it's a reference to a real thing, with Hillenburg having put in all sorts of "I have a marine biology degree" stuff.

ETA: Apparently she's just named after his wife. I tend to assume anyone going "Oh that's real?" about some Spongebob thing actually is, because it's...usually is a reference to some weird rear end real thing, cartoonified.

AngryRobotsInc fucked around with this message at 13:01 on Aug 22, 2022

# ? Aug 22, 2022 12:52

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# ? May 30, 2024 18:21

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

is it the other way around maybe? I have to assume some marine biology stuff was named after things or characters in the show

# ? Aug 22, 2022 13:09

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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