- Scuba Trooper
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the Martin Short Cinematic Universe
e: what a terrible snipe.
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Aug 20, 2022 00:52
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 24, 2024 11:41
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- The Voice of Labor
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a man is sitting at the desk in his study. he paid off his mortgage a few years ago and through thrift, hard work, luck and inheritance has enough invested in index funds to finally retire. he suffers a massive heart attack and dies.
he finds himself amidst the clouds. what can only be presumed to be an angel greats him. the angel is mute and resembles an og star trek green alien girl. the man's echo, dismayed and angry, asks the angel "why now? this isn't fair, it was so close to finally being good." the angel smiles from ear to ear, beaming, joyfulness and warmth emanating from every from every detail of her face. she beckons to a couch hewn of golden silk. he sits down and sees his life before him. it has its rough spots and traumas and passing hardships to be sure, but overall it is all comfortable and rewarding to a point that could be considered blessed. most of his life is spent with a loving and tolerant wife and largely free from financial woes. his children grow to be relatively functional adults. his work is neither simple nor overly demanding. his network of friends and acquaintances broad enough that he does not want for companionship or sport, but honed enough so as to not be intrusive. decades upon decades of small accomplishments, smiles and love amassed into a immense baroque structure of shimmering gold. the shade of the man again exclaims "but I finally going to live my life, I was finally going to be happy. this isn't fair." the angel shakes her head and puts her hand to her forehead. she points towards an arch.
the man walks through the arch and is reincarnated as a house plant. the house plant comes to reside in the man's former home, now occupied by the man's son, daughter in law and grandchildren. were a house plant able to see, it would've seen the man's son and his family likewise living lives comfortable and rewarding. for about 2 years until the firesharks arose from the seas and burned everything they didn't eat. the house plant, were it able to apprehend the situation and recall the thoughts and opinions of its former incarnation, would now finally understand that neither having the good nor avoiding the bad were enough to satisfy the man it had been.
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Aug 20, 2022 02:12
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- Gene Hackman Fan
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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the idea of an investigator trying to piece a person's life together using only the thousands of memes the person collected on their phone
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Aug 20, 2022 02:55
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- Buttchocks
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No, I like my hat, thanks.
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Grand Moff Tarkin rings bell.
Well Vader, I made it, DESPITE your directions.
"I am altering the directions" [waves hand]
Well, that didn't help because I'm already here.
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Aug 20, 2022 04:35
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- Gene Hackman Fan
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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johnny fileseed: a man traveling the country teaching others how to pirate media
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Aug 20, 2022 16:07
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- Karate Bastard
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a skeleton walks into a bar, ordering a beer and a mop
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Aug 20, 2022 18:16
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- Jestery
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Not a Dickman, just a shape
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the idea of an investigator trying to piece a person's life together using only the thousands of memes the person collected on their phone
I am scared of this happening to me
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Aug 21, 2022 01:28
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- Gene Hackman Fan
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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I am scared of this happening to me
do what i do: throw them off the trail by collecting cool-looking foreign language memes and abstract, non-sensible memes.
[years later, as investigators look through GHF's phone]
"i don't know why we're trying to piece his life together; look at all this poo poo-- it seems like all he did was download memes. trying to piece together the life of somebody when he never loving had one to begin with!"
me, in my grave: *smiles*
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Aug 21, 2022 16:46
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Saruman's where the orcs came from speech except:
"Do you know where xxxxx came from? They were artists once."
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Aug 21, 2022 22:27
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- Karate Bastard
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Do you know where Orcs came from?
No?
Cleveland.
Huh.
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Aug 22, 2022 02:27
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Do you know where Orcs came from?
No.
Silloth.
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Aug 22, 2022 11:49
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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OK so most of you come from America and all my life I've understood that it's really big. I mean, do you ever get confused? Like what stops you from getting lost? Or does everyone just stay in their own bit? Also don't the laws change when you go over the lines? I don't know, it just sonds difficult.
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Aug 22, 2022 12:01
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- Karate Bastard
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You don't simply walk into Montana
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Aug 22, 2022 12:41
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Suddenly I've got a flash back to Johnny Depp as that drug dealer saying "big deal, I moved some plants across an imaginary line".
Did they ever let that dude out of prison?
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Aug 22, 2022 12:58
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- The Voice of Labor
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OK so most of you come from America and all my life I've understood that it's really big. I mean, do you ever get confused? Like what stops you from getting lost? Or does everyone just stay in their own bit? Also don't the laws change when you go over the lines? I don't know, it just sonds difficult.
years ago in a gbs american food thread this came up. like, explaining to europeans that america is a bunch of small countries each with its own food and culture and only united by a shared currency, kind of a shared language and racism
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Aug 22, 2022 13:18
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- Karate Bastard
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It's like Europe!
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Aug 22, 2022 13:32
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- Gene Hackman Fan
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Do you know where Orcs came from?
No?
Cleveland.
Huh.
the cleveland orcs, 0-20 so far this season
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Aug 22, 2022 15:11
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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And edgy comic book reimagining of the civil rights movement where Martin Luthor King shoots Malcolm X.
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Aug 22, 2022 17:30
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- Karate Bastard
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Silloth marillion!
Suddenly i find myself with a fistful of herring. Huh.
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Aug 22, 2022 17:42
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Make a Lord of the Rings but set it in that Cleveland thing you keep talking about.
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Aug 22, 2022 20:41
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Maybe I should write about what I think Cleveland is and then I could research Cleveland and see how much I get right?
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Aug 22, 2022 20:42
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- Karate Bastard
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Yes
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Aug 22, 2022 21:24
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- Karate Bastard
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Can we get someone from Cleveland in here??????
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Aug 22, 2022 21:25
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- Karate Bastard
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No it's not for me to point and laugh
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Aug 22, 2022 21:25
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- Karate Bastard
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This time
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Aug 22, 2022 21:25
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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Can we get someone from Cleveland in here??????
I have never been but am also here to answer any and all questions about The Cleve.
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Aug 22, 2022 21:29
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- Karate Bastard
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Can we get someone from Cleveland in here??????
Words never uttered by anybody
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Aug 22, 2022 21:30
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- WithoutTheFezOn
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Oh no
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Can we get someone from Cleveland in here??????
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Aug 22, 2022 21:35
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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OK,
Well. I dunno it sounds like a nice place. Maybe green and pleasant?
I'm thinking nice pastures perhaps livestock even? It's perhaps the part of the United States that was remained a place of natural beautry or something.
Kind of like what I imagine the amish is? Actually, the law in Cleveland is that technology can't develop beyond that of the horse and plow.
It's like a kind of tradpunk kind of paradise. It's such a popular place that arouses curiosity that they strick quotas as to who can get in every year.
And actually there's a subdermal chip to track people's movements. Quite frankly, it's a police state. But look a kind of solarpunk ultra naturalist police state.
Almost like the worst kind of ideal world.
It's primary export is crackers.
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Aug 22, 2022 21:37
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- Harold Fjord
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Can we get someone from Cleveland in here??????
Yo
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Aug 22, 2022 21:43
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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Clevelan's main export is emptyquotes.
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Aug 22, 2022 21:55
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- Karate Bastard
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Is it really called "Cleveman"?
"Clevemen"? Is that what you say?
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Aug 22, 2022 21:58
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- WithoutTheFezOn
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Oh no
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No. It is The Land of Cleve.
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Aug 22, 2022 21:59
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- Karate Bastard
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OK,
Well. I dunno it sounds like a nice place. Maybe green and pleasant?
I'm thinking nice pastures perhaps livestock even? It's perhaps the part of the United States that was remained a place of natural beautry or something.
Kind of like what I imagine the amish is? Actually, the law in Cleveland is that technology can't develop beyond that of the horse and plow.
It's like a kind of tradpunk kind of paradise. It's such a popular place that arouses curiosity that they strick quotas as to who can get in every year.
And actually there's a subdermal chip to track people's movements. Quite frankly, it's a police state. But look a kind of solarpunk ultra naturalist police state.
Almost like the worst kind of ideal world.
It's primary export is crackers.
I'm emptyquoting this
everywhere
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Aug 22, 2022 21:59
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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It was meant to be called Clever-land but they forgot how to spell.
And so here we are.
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Aug 22, 2022 22:02
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- Karate Bastard
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I've heard it's a lot like Baltimore
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Aug 22, 2022 22:06
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- Harold Fjord
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It was meant to be called Clever-land but they forgot how to spell.
And so here we are.
Literally got changed from Cleaveland due to a newspaper headline that couldn't fit it all
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Aug 22, 2022 22:11
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 24, 2024 11:41
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- google THIS
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I live in southern Ohio but I went there once because my daughter was at a dance convention and I wandered over to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame
It had a couple of cool exhibits but if you're not super hype to see a lot of no doubt priceless artifacts of rock & roll history you eventually end up doing what I did for most of my visit. Namely, wander from room to room while repeatedly thinking to yourself "Oh, huh, another guitar"
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Aug 22, 2022 22:25
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Aug 20, 2022 00:52
