r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

HopperUK: Apr 29, 2007; Why would an ambulance be leaving the hospital?

My sister is married to a Debate Guy. He's not a bad dude and I love him but ugh. I've had great success ending the arguments, when I realise I'm in them, by saying lightly 'I'm sure you're right!'

If you don't inflect it sarcastically they never work out what you're doing and the confusion shuts them up.

# ? Aug 23, 2022 04:21

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# ? May 31, 2024 00:47

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for telling my husband that if he doesn�t stop his daughter I will ban her from our celebration?

quote:

I�ve never actually posted on Reddit before, I usually just scroll. I guess that this will be my permanent account from now on.

I 42 F got remarried to my boyfriend Jack 47 M a year ago. We both have children from our previous marriages. I have two daughters and he has one son and one daughter. The problem I have is that his daughter, Melissa 27 F , is very catty. Ever since I and my daughter have come in their lives she�s despised us. I never came into this relationship thinking I�d have any sort of authority or parental role in their lives. I respected their relationship with their dad and never got in the middle.

Deep down, I think Melissa is very jealous of my daughter 24 F. Melissa has repeatedly had meltdowns on any important day for Celeste and tried to control her special days. The reason I think it�s jealousy is because Celeste is successful (almost has her PHD in psychology), engaged to a good woman, and is beautiful. Celeste throughout all of this has stayed cordial. However, last night while talking about the plans for Celeste�s graduation party my husband asked if we could �accommodate� Melissa by making the day also about her. I told him no and that when Melissa has an accomplishment we will celebrate her. He got upset and said he told her we would and that she was already making plans. I told him if he doesn�t stop her I will uninvite her. He�s been mad at me since, AITA?

Edit: I just wanna say this before a comment comes in, yes I got pregnant very young. Yes, I love my children very much.

Edit: thank you for all the kind congratulatory comments towards Celeste. I�m very proud of her!

Edit: I think I�m going to show my husband this post and these comments. Maybe it�ll open up a good conversation so that we both can communicate efficiently.

Update: we�ve read through the post and comments together. We�ve gotten nowhere. He�s mad I posted it (fair) and he�s mad that I�m unwilling to see how �unfair it is for us not to accommodate her when we know how she is�. I�m tired of him enabling her. I wanted to have a productive conversation but he just won�t hear it.

Update: I have told my husband he either fixes it or he can consider himself and Melissa uninvited. I refuse to have my daughters massive achievement overshadowed by either of them.

# ? Aug 23, 2022 04:29

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

HopperUK posted:

My sister is married to a Debate Guy. He's not a bad dude and I love him but ugh. I've had great success ending the arguments, when I realise I'm in them, by saying lightly 'I'm sure you're right!'

If you don't inflect it sarcastically they never work out what you're doing and the confusion shuts them up.

nah my friend's ex would just get angry if you refused to debate him like that. No matter the tone.

# ? Aug 23, 2022 04:33

mediaphage: Mar 22, 2007; Excuse me, pardon me, sheer perfection coming through

HopperUK posted:

My sister is married to a Debate Guy. He's not a bad dude and I love him but ugh. I've had great success ending the arguments, when I realise I'm in them, by saying lightly 'I'm sure you're right!'

If you don't inflect it sarcastically they never work out what you're doing and the confusion shuts them up.

i just walk out of the room midsentence

Mx. posted:

AITA for telling my husband that if he doesn�t stop his daughter I will ban her from our celebration?

why
are
you
still
married

# ? Aug 23, 2022 04:44

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

# ? Aug 23, 2022 04:47

El Spamo: Aug 21, 2003; Fuss and misery

The daughter is 27, she's a grown rear end woman jfc

# ? Aug 23, 2022 04:49

New Coke: Nov 28, 2009; WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.

Gf wants to break up with me for something I did 3 years prior meeting her

quote:

Me[M26] and my gf[F25] have been together for a year, yesterday I confessed her that 4 years ago while on a trip in Monaco I paid a hooker to have sex with me, I didn't like it while it was happening and I've been regretting it since I've done it. I did it because some friends of mine wanted to do that and i didn't say no. The fault is mine I know that but i didn't even cum I didn't enjoy it and felt miserable for doing so. She went crazy because her ex who was a borderline manipulate person used to have sex with hookers while they were together and she started to say that I'm no different and that I disgust her for not telling her that prior. While I understand what's she's saying I don't know what to do because I love her and I know she loves me to be honest I don't even like having casual sex I think she thinks that I would do the same that happened with her ex who left her some ptsd. I feel like poo poo please help me let her know I'm not that kind of guy I don't want to lose her.

Tldr; my gf wants to break up with me because I paid a hooker for sex 3 years before meeting her.

In a comment:

quote:

The fact is that she once asked me if I ever did that while we started dating and I said no because I'm genuinely ashamed of what I did then yesterday she asked me again and asked to be honest about it so I told her the truth and she went crazy on me. Having a break would be the end of our relationship if done at the moment and I don't feel like losing her over something so irrelevant to me

Everyone kind of turned on him after that and the consensus was that him having lied about it was what really made him an rear end in a top hat. I guess my question would be exactly how early in the relationship are we talking here? "Have you ever had sex with a prostitute" is expecting a lot of candour for a first date.

# ? Aug 23, 2022 04:54

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Kitfox88 posted:

When my nephew was like, a year and change old he was very interested in the salad I was eating that had a dressing of red wine vinegar, and when he made The Face after I'd warned him it might be weird and icky tasting I had a chuckle. He then asked for more and kept making the face but it turns out lil' dude likes vinegar too. We share salads now sometimes.

Aww

# ? Aug 23, 2022 05:43

Troublemaker: Mar 12, 2007

Mx. posted:

AITA for telling my husband that if he doesn�t stop his daughter I will ban her from our celebration?

I'd agree to it, celebrate Celeste getting her PhD, then announce, "And then . . . there's Melissa." And let everyone politely golf clap.

Like, how is the husband expecting them to make Celeste's accomplishment about Melissa? Are they supposed to find something to celebrate her for, too? "Melissa managed to finish the whole carton of milk before it went bad."?

# ? Aug 23, 2022 05:52

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

HopperUK posted:

My sister is married to a Debate Guy. He's not a bad dude and I love him but ugh. I've had great success ending the arguments, when I realise I'm in them, by saying lightly 'I'm sure you're right!'

If you don't inflect it sarcastically they never work out what you're doing and the confusion shuts them up.

lol

# ? Aug 23, 2022 05:53

Generated Wizards: Apr 16, 2016

Mx. posted:

AITA for telling my husband that if he doesn�t stop his daughter I will ban her from our celebration?

God I hate 'you know how they are' as a reason to just accommodate grown adults being dicks. My guy your daughter is like that because you consistently let her get away with being like that, and it's not unfair for other people to decide that they don't want to do deal with the adult toddler. Makes me wonder whether the son is still around, and whether he's also expected to just make his life about his sister.

How do you make a graduation party also about someone else anyway? Only graduation parties I've ever been to have basically just been a regular piss-up with maybe some toasting, it's not like a birthday party where you can engage in some enforced present redistribution. Congratulations to Celeste on her PhD, everyone please remember to thank Melissa for the valuable contribution of her presence. Cheers.

# ? Aug 23, 2022 06:08

Solkanar512: Dec 28, 2006; by the sex ghost

Mx. posted:

AITA for banning my husband from visiting my sister with me because he won�t stop trying to "debate" her and her husband?

In addition to the obvious, the thing I really hate about the, �well you studied it, it�s your job to debate me� poo poo is that it�s exactly the opposite. While the sister in law busted her rear end to learn this material, the husband hasn�t done poo poo. Every time he brings up a dumb point, she�s going to have to go all the way back to the basics just to counter it and then he moves on to the next dumb idea. gently caress him, I hope he ends up divorced and alone.

It�s like arguing with creationists or anti-vaxxers. Christ, I nearly shouted someone down for trying to claim that the �m� in �mRNA� stood for �modified�.

# ? Aug 23, 2022 06:16

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

quote:

That�s what [what would she be celebrating?] I kept saying when reading through these comments. All he could do was parrot about being �fair� even though his idea of fairness involves not being fair to Celeste

One of the perks of being an adult is that you can have a party for any reason, or even no reason at all. Then stepdaughter doesn't need to appropriate a party, and everyone gets an extra party. Win-win!

# ? Aug 23, 2022 06:45

PancakeTransmission: May 27, 2007; You gotta improvise, Lisa: cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust...; Plaster Town Cop

New Coke posted:

Gf wants to break up with me for something I did 3 years prior meeting her

I didn't like it while it was happening
I did it because some friends of mine wanted to do that and i didn't say no.
i didn't even cum
I didn't enjoy it and felt miserable for doing so.
I don't even like having casual sex

Maybe just break up with him because his friends can convince him to do poo poo that he apparently really really doesn't want to do. Or he's a liar.

Well aware that you can regret doing something after starting it, but it's the way he write all these different things about it... He doesn't need to convince reddit!

PancakeTransmission fucked around with this message at 06:54 on Aug 23, 2022

# ? Aug 23, 2022 06:52

Sir Sidney Poitier: Aug 14, 2006; My favourite actor

PancakeTransmission posted:

He doesn't need to convince reddit!

But if he convinces reddit he can show her this post and its comments, she'll forgive him and apologise, and everyone will clap.

I think at the end of my first serious relationship nearly 20 years ago that it's not about winning an argument.

# ? Aug 23, 2022 07:18

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for refusing to pay my friend who I let stay at our house for free

quote:

I [25F] have a friend [24F] who has been staying over at our house for the past few days from out of town. We�re not super close, we were friends in middle and high school but haven�t been super close since then because she moved away from the community.

Our town has a high enough population that there are some popular bluegrass shows here. My friend plays violin in a small band, and was going to be playing as an opening act. She called me and was super excited about it, but expressed that she was sad that she wouldn�t get to see many of our friends and family back home. I am definitely one of the more progressive people here, as most people won�t even talk to her after she left, so I offered for her to stay here at our house. I did warn her beforehand that our house was a bit chaotic, as we have an 8 month old and 3 year old.

While she was staying here, my 3 year old broke her violin on accident. She started freaking out and crying. I managed to calm her down, but even once she was calmer, she seemed to kind of blame me and my 3 year old.

She asked that we pay half the price of what she was being paid for the gig she was doing, which I said we wouldn�t. I offered to get her a hotel for the night, and told her she wasn�t welcome after demanding money from us. After all, no one else was even willing to let her stay, so I feel I�ve been very generous.

OP helpfully named their throwaway 'i-aint-the-rear end in a top hat'

quote:

To be honest I am kind of mad that she left the community. We were so close before that, and I honestly just don�t think her reasons for leaving were valid. She kind of just wanted to go out and do things that she wasn�t allowed to, and now she�s demanding that I give her an exorbitant amount of money after inviting her back with open arms.

# ? Aug 23, 2022 07:29

Fatkraken: Jun 23, 2005; Fun-time is over.

barring some egregious irresponsible behaviour on behalf of the owner, your 3 year old breaks something, you're responsible.

# ? Aug 23, 2022 07:52

Andrast: Apr 21, 2010

"the community"

# ? Aug 23, 2022 07:55

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

What is this, the Mennonites? Amish with internet somehow? Is she being Shunned?

# ? Aug 23, 2022 08:09

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Mx. posted:

AITA for refusing to pay my friend who I let stay at our house for free

OP helpfully named their throwaway 'i-aint-the-rear end in a top hat'

"How dare that crab get out of the bucket?!"

# ? Aug 23, 2022 08:48

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

Was the violin just laying out on a table or did the toddler go digging around this person�s belongings? OP is giving me the latter vibes.

# ? Aug 23, 2022 09:13

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

Dazerbeams posted:

Was the violin just laying out on a table or did the toddler go digging around this person�s belongings? OP is giving me the latter vibes.

it was in its case, hidden under the bed in the guest room

so yeah you're getting the right vibes

# ? Aug 23, 2022 09:15

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Troublemaker posted:

"Melissa managed to finish the whole carton of milk before it went bad."?

To be fair, if I manage this I feel pretty accomplished. I only use it for tea!

# ? Aug 23, 2022 10:43

mediaphage: Mar 22, 2007; Excuse me, pardon me, sheer perfection coming through

Mx. posted:

it was in its case, hidden under the bed in the guest room

so yeah you're getting the right vibes

lol hope she sues them and never comes back to this religious hosed up town

because that has to be what it is: leaving to go do things you �aren�t allowed to do?�

sounds mormon or similar imo, most places i�ve lived in the conservative south welcome people who leave and come back tbh

# ? Aug 23, 2022 14:08

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

mediaphage posted:

lol hope she sues them and never comes back to this religious hosed up town

because that has to be what it is: leaving to go do things you �aren�t allowed to do?�

sounds mormon or similar imo, most places i�ve lived in the conservative south welcome people who leave and come back tbh

It must be nice to have some hosed up worldview that you feel completely safe and secure in the knowledge of.

# ? Aug 23, 2022 14:16

mediaphage: Mar 22, 2007; Excuse me, pardon me, sheer perfection coming through

DandyLion posted:

It must be nice to have some hosed up worldview that you feel completely safe and secure in the knowledge of.

lol okay

it�s very weird for someone to talk about a friend who left town and comes back to visit, is spurned by the town for leaving, is described as leaving just to do things she �isn�t allowed to do� in the town she grew up in, etc

if you can think of a better reason besides religion i�m all wars

# ? Aug 23, 2022 14:20

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

mediaphage posted:

lol okay

it�s very weird for someone to talk about a friend who left town and comes back to visit, is spurned by the town for leaving, is described as leaving just to do things she �isn�t allowed to do� in the town she grew up in, etc

if you can think of a better reason besides religion i�m all wars

poo poo no sorry fam that was meant to be pointed at the subject of your quoted post, not you specifically. I was commiserating with your point of view over how ridiculously insular these religious communities are.

# ? Aug 23, 2022 14:27

mediaphage: Mar 22, 2007; Excuse me, pardon me, sheer perfection coming through

DandyLion posted:

poo poo no sorry fam that was meant to be pointed at the subject of your quoted post, not you specifically. I was commiserating with your point of view over how ridiculously insular these religious communities are.

ah my bad i was like wtf haha

all good!

# ? Aug 23, 2022 14:31

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for not allowing MIL to fight with her husband in front of my children?

quote:

MIL's love language is bickering. before I met her I didn't think that was a thing, but I've known her for years and it really is. She was single when I met her and a lot of guys bored her, because they didn't want to fight with her, played too nicely, or just didn't find her constant sarcasm funny in general.

She's been with her current husband for seven years, and finally found someone who can keep up and also thinks this is cute. I don't care, but I also don't want to normalize this to my kids. Especially because I think it might be confusing, because she is very mean verbally but very affectionate physically, and i I was a kid I would be like what the gently caress. To be clear they aren't yelling or getting volatile, everything is said in a monotone voice, and they do tone down the swearing in front of my kids but i hate it.

Recently I decided that I'm done. It is way too toxic and dysfunctional for kids to be around, and he used the word whore which is a big no no for me. I sat MIL and her husband down and explained this to them. MIL said I was annoying and she hates parents who think everything should revolve around their kids. She said I was going to raise stupid kids with no critical thinking skills. I told her it wasn't up for discussion and from no one, if she does it I will take the kids and leave. MIL just said ok and didn't fight with me, but her sister and BIL chewed me out and implied I might be jealous because her husband loves her more than mine loves me.

MIL talked to my husband and said she isn't happy with me and she's decided to stop having us at holidays because we are going to ruin them for her. Now the family is fighting about if I was too controlling, or if she is being selfish.

# ? Aug 23, 2022 15:29

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Mx. posted:

AITA for refusing to pay my friend who I let stay at our house for free

OP helpfully named their throwaway 'i-aint-the-rear end in a top hat'

quote:

While she was staying here, my 3 year old broke her violin on accident

quote:

she seemed to kind of blame me and my 3 year old

I love you, reddit users :allears:

# ? Aug 23, 2022 15:32

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003; LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL (づ￣ �￣)づ♥(�∀�●)

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for not allowing MIL to fight with her husband in front of my children?

on that spoiler, loving lmao

# ? Aug 23, 2022 15:38

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

Midnight Voyager posted:

What is this, the Mennonites? Amish with internet somehow? Is she being Shunned?

Based on the phrasing I'd say it's the even weirder ones: mormons.

# ? Aug 23, 2022 16:12

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for not allowing MIL to fight with her husband in front of my children?

OP's MIL is a Cardassian apparently

# ? Aug 23, 2022 16:24

Sloth Life: Nov 15, 2014; Built for comfort and speed!; Fallen Rib

Whorelord posted:

OP's MIL is a Cardassian apparently

# ? Aug 23, 2022 16:54

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for giving my boyfriend the silent treatment because he bought me the wrong flavoured cake?

quote:

I (28f) have been with my boyfriend (28m) for 9 years, we own a house, have two dogs, moved across the country for his job and have a 3 month old baby. You could say it�s serious.

For the past four years he has done nothing for my birthday. Every year he says he didn�t have time to get anything.

This year he started telling me two months out that he hadn�t got me anything. I sent him a linked list of things he could order me, but two weeks out he still hadn�t bought anything or organised anything. Instead we made an agreement, all he had to get me a gluten free chocolate cake from my favourite bakery. (I�m a coeliac and good gf cakes can be really expensive).

The cake didn�t arrive in time for my birthday because he forgot to order it and missed the cut off day. I didn�t care, I was so excited about getting this cake. A week after my birthday he walks in with a gf vegan vanilla cake. I tried it and it was absolutely awful, I�ve not spoken to him since.

He now thinks I�m TA for not talking to him because he �tried�. I don�t think I�m TA because I don�t think he tried at all. AITA?

Edit: someone said I should add this. We�ve not been talking for a few hours, after I explained why I was mad. I�m way too angry to talk it out at the moment.

# ? Aug 23, 2022 16:59

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for refusing to cook dinner?

quote:

obviously a throwaway because my husband enjoys spending time on reddit.

I (F23) have been married to my husband �John� (M24) for a year now. And recently (aka five weeks ago) we welcomed our first baby (F).

I�m currently on maternity leave, which my husband has interpreted it as me being a Stay at Home Mom instead of taking time to rest before I needed to return to work.

I don�t really mind it too much, since cleaning my house is soothing for me, and a good distraction from my sleep deprivation (lol). I�ve always been this way, and John does still do his share of household chores. (He does most of the outdoor work and he�ll sweep/vacuum).

But recently, he�s been riding me about not having dinner ready when he gets home. He works from 8-5:30, so it�s not a completely unreasonable time for dinner, but it�s not like I can just stop taking care of our daughter to cook him a meal. I can usually talk him down, and he�ll watch daughter while I cook.

A few days ago, however, he came into the house and began berating me for not having dinner �ready and waiting� so he could just �walk in and sit to eat�. I was actively changing my daughter�s diaper while he went on this rant.

He went as far as to say that he �put up� with my laziness for long enough and that I needed to do my job properly.

I didn�t say anything to him at that moment. I went and cooked dinner, and he seemed pretty proud of himself for winning the conversation. But I only have a few more weeks to stay home with my baby girl, and I�m not going to have that stomped on because of my husband.

So ever since that day, I go to my mom�s house for dinner. (She�s totally okay with this btw). I don�t cook anything for John, and I�m already at my mom�s by the time he gets home. I still clean at home and keep the house tidy, but I don�t cook dinner.

John has been furious with me, and has been telling me that I�m an AH for leaving him to starve. I just want to have a peaceful environment before I have to go back to work, so Reddit, am I the AH?

# ? Aug 23, 2022 17:01

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for giving my boyfriend the silent treatment because he bought me the wrong flavoured cake?

update: I have now been silent for three hours, twenty seven minutes, and 14 seconds

# ? Aug 23, 2022 17:01

Solkanar512: Dec 28, 2006; by the sex ghost

Christ, I was a violist for the better part of a decade and you *never* gently caress with other people's musical instruments. The zippered case they describe is a pretty standard case for anyone who owns their own instrument, and look like this if you're curious. They're on the heavier side, and they're going to take a minute for a three year old to open up but are otherwise pretty drat secure.

That mother is a giant rear end in a top hat.

# ? Aug 23, 2022 17:03

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for giving my boyfriend the silent treatment because he bought me the wrong flavoured cake?

Lol, you had a baby with this jackass before legally protecting yourself. Divorce is not an option quite literally.

# ? Aug 23, 2022 17:03

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# ? May 31, 2024 00:47

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for refusing to cook dinner?

As a stay-at-home dad I've cleaned the house and had dinner ready when my wife gets home from work and it's an incredibly difficult poo poo show I only ever tried to pull off because I truly cared.

If someone expects that poo poo just cuz they can get hosed

Brawnfire fucked around with this message at 17:16 on Aug 23, 2022

# ? Aug 23, 2022 17:10

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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