Comic Strips 2022: Girls Are People!

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Why do you read this thread anyway? This poll is closed.
I enjoy reading contemporary newspaper comics.	64	26.02%
I hate reading contemporary newspaper comics.	42	17.07%
I enjoy reading historical newspaper comics.	88	35.77%
I enjoy reading newspaper comics from foreign countries.	52	21.14%
Total:	246 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

"My wife? She died of breast cancer. Here, have a copy of my award winning book and a dvd of the film I won the best actress oscar for. Don't feel like you have to read or watch them though, I can tell you the story right now. It all started when we were high schoolers. I was a gawky but fundamentally handsome young man who-"

"No, your current wife."

"... Oh. I don't know. Did she come along to this?"

# ? Sep 1, 2022 17:41

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 14:25

Doomykins: Jun 28, 2008; Didn't you mean to ask about flowers?

Jucika "432 - Jucika And The Contagious Example"

"433 - Jucika And Her Husband At The Fair"

# ? Sep 1, 2022 17:50

maltesh: May 20, 2004; Uncle Ben: Still Dead.

Murdstone posted:

Isn't getting a pawn to the other side of the board really hard and in fact a Very Good thing to do?

True, but promoting to a King is usually illegal, and if not, then undesirable, as a Queen is better in almost every way, and doesn't increase checkmate risk.

If I'm not mistaken, though, until the last couple decades or so, it was legal to promote to a piece of the opponent's color. At least, I've heard tell of a couple chess problems that relied on that for the solution.

# ? Sep 1, 2022 18:06

Countblanc: Apr 20, 2005; _{Help a hero out!}

Tiggum posted:

I could see him being the type to think that sharing food is disgustingly unhygienic.

Maybe the chunkier ones are older. Maybe they were emergency versions for severe injuries that had to be installed in a hurry and can't easily be replaced. Maybe they're designed to do more or different things - like maybe you can get a normal-looking facial reconstruction, or you can get a big, chunky, obviously-artificial one but it's got all kinds of air purifiers and whatever else in there.

The bulky weirdos might have just also asked to look like bulky weirdos. There was that one story about the assassin couple who were madly in love and the lady kept saying how sexy her steamshovel-faced husband was.

# ? Sep 1, 2022 18:30

Alhazred: Feb 16, 2011

L-Innsikt

Pondus

Storefri

# ? Sep 1, 2022 18:33

Mister Beeg: Sep 7, 2012; A Certified Jerk

Arnold (November 28-December 4, 1983)

# ? Sep 1, 2022 18:40

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Why the hell is Tommy even friends with Arnold?

EasyEW posted:

Out Our Way (September 25-27, 1939)

The kids have a point tbh.

# ? Sep 1, 2022 18:52

JethroMcB: Jan 23, 2004; We're normal now.
We love your family.

Haifisch posted:

Why the hell is Tommy even friends with Arnold?

I've noticed that "Get away from me!" is becoming a regular punchline

# ? Sep 1, 2022 19:14

BigglesSWE: Dec 2, 2014; How 'bout them hawks news huh!

Ballard Street

# ? Sep 1, 2022 19:17

Transmodiar: Jul 9, 2005; You're a terrible person, Mildred.

Modesty Blaise: The Jericho Caper

# ? Sep 1, 2022 19:19

Samovar: Jun 4, 2011; When I want to relax, I read an essay by Engels. When I want something more serious, I read Corto Maltese.

BigglesSWE posted:

Ballard Street

Please... please stop doxxing me, Ballard Street. I'm begging you.

# ? Sep 1, 2022 19:45

Murdstone: Jun 14, 2005; I'm feeling Jimmy

That is a real good Ballard Street.

F Minus

Mark Trail

Mary Worth

The Phantom

Synthbuttrange posted:

thank god the phantom is dead Mozz's story can end now.

"I'm dead, Mozz, why are you still talking?"
"I'm on a roll now, O Ghost! This story has extended universe potential!"

Pooch Cafe

Rex Morgan MD

Andertoons

Apartment 3-G

# ? Sep 1, 2022 19:48

F_Shit_Fitzgerald: Feb 2, 2017

Alhazred posted:

L-Innsikt

Yup...this was me through a lot of college; just not with The Sims but Stardew Valley.

# ? Sep 1, 2022 19:49

Vox Valentine: May 31, 2013; Solving all of life's problems through enhanced casting of Occam's Razor. Reward yourself with an imaginary chalice.

...

Quit Being loving Nosey

# ? Sep 1, 2022 19:52

Raskolnikov38: Mar 3, 2007; We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

Murdstone posted:

The Phantom

"I'm dead, Mozz, why are you still talking?"
"I'm on a roll now, O Ghost! This story has extended universe potential!"

Calling it: one of them brought the ring back and kit in realization either blows his brains out or goes on a genocidial campaign

# ? Sep 1, 2022 20:06

JethroMcB: Jan 23, 2004; We're normal now.
We love your family.

Murdstone posted:

Rex Morgan MD

Give him cash you stupid rear end in a top hat

Tips through apps might as well go straight to a C-Suiter's Venmo

# ? Sep 1, 2022 20:10

Yvonmukluk: Oct 10, 2012; Everything is Sinister

Bad Machinery

John Allison posted:

I guess that wraps up the whole ghost case? I suppose? So what happens next?

# ? Sep 1, 2022 21:26

Doomykins: Jun 28, 2008; Didn't you mean to ask about flowers?

Pee yew the only thing worse than the storytelling of Curtis these two weeks is:

quote:

Mark Trail

Yesterday the art was decent, today we've got narration box abuse, horrible art, lmao hands and I think that 4th panel Mark finger deserves entry to the budding Nu-Trail Hall Of Fame. Oh, and teleportation. Or did Mark use the door to announce that he was spying on Rex during lying about spying on him? But seriously Mark did this in the lovely heist storyline where he announced his crime to the suspicious party, automatically losing the deception. Does Jules not know how lying works? On a fundamental level?

"Are you spying on me?" "No, and here's proof I overhead your conversation!" Again, maybe if we're supposed to see Mark and Cherry as idiots and the line was played for comedy...

... does Rex have two left arms stacked on top of one another in panel 3? He also appears to be opening the door so hard and fast it curves at the top. And Panel 3 Mark is doing the box limbs like he's a Playstation 1 character that Doc did last week.

Mark Trail what is happening to you

# ? Sep 1, 2022 21:31

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me

Raskolnikov38 posted:

Calling it: one of them brought the ring back and kit in realization either blows his brains out or goes on a genocidial campaign

I would like it if they give him the ring, and then he actually does decide to go be the Phantom - then eight months from now we get a small flashback to Mozz to remind us that this is just a story he's telling but otherwise the comic just keeps going with Kit as the new Phantom because that was the plan all along but editorial told them it couldn't "really" happen.

# ? Sep 1, 2022 22:45

Powered Descent: Jul 13, 2008; We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.

Murdstone posted:

Mary Worth

Talk about Dawn some more, I'm sure she just loves it that you won't shut up about your ex-girlfriend.

JethroMcB posted:

Give him cash you stupid rear end in a top hat

Tips through apps might as well go straight to a C-Suiter's Venmo

Sometimes true, sometimes not, but it's usually pretty easy to find out if an app steals tips or not with a quick google. The ones that actually give the whole tip to the driver generally make that fact pretty easy to find. (It's sad that that's something worthy of being advertised, but that's the world we're in, I guess.)

# ? Sep 1, 2022 23:27

Woapalanne: Jul 23, 2007; This account paid for by BJ.

Doomykins posted:

Mark Trail what is happening to you

They hired a kid with not much talent and no experience with deadlines to take over the strip solely for the purpose of sticking it to the boomers, and now that the hilarity of sticking it to the boomers is over, this is what we're left with.

# ? Sep 1, 2022 23:42

Doomykins: Jun 28, 2008; Didn't you mean to ask about flowers?

Woapalanne posted:

They hired a kid with not much talent and no experience with deadlines to take over the strip solely for the purpose of sticking it to the boomers, and now that the hilarity of sticking it to the boomers is over, this is what we're left with.

A-yup. And what a ride down it is. This story and the last are showing signs of burnout.

# ? Sep 1, 2022 23:45

Bibliotechno Music: Dec 30, 2008

�Aragones!

Life in Hell

Sylvia

Marlys!

# ? Sep 2, 2022 00:07

Darthemed: Oct 28, 2007; "A data unit?
For me?"; College Slice

I hope Jules Rivera is locked into a four-decade contract.

# ? Sep 2, 2022 00:45

Drakyn: Dec 26, 2012

Haifisch posted:

Why the hell is Tommy even friends with Arnold?

He's realized Arnold is protected by the same mysterious anti-punting shield that watches over Poncho and Dogbert and has decided his only hope of survival is to bow to the whims of the tiny, easily-destroyable rear end in a top hat that rules over his entire existence.

# ? Sep 2, 2022 01:20

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

I disagree, sticking it to boomers will never stop being great. They're just doing a poo poo job of it.

# ? Sep 2, 2022 01:21

Professor Wayne: Aug 27, 2008; So, Harvey, what became of the giant penny?

They actually let him keep it.

Pickles

Hagar the Horrible

Zits

# ? Sep 2, 2022 01:51

Archduke Frantz Fanon: Sep 7, 2004

the sunday strips are way better put together and im guessing thats the only experience 90% of decision makers have with the comic

# ? Sep 2, 2022 02:23

Giant Ethicist: Jun 9, 2013; Looks like she got on a loaf of bread instead of a bus again...

Haraiso Days

Cthulhu and Girl

# ? Sep 2, 2022 02:26

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Giant Ethicist posted:

Haraiso Days

Calling it, he's either got a Squall-style nose gash or it's an infinitesimally tiny little gouge on one of his cheeks and he's blowing it way out of proportion.

# ? Sep 2, 2022 02:41

coronatae: Oct 14, 2012

Next on Cthulu and Girl: Cthupin commits ballot fraud

# ? Sep 2, 2022 03:08

Technowolf: Nov 4, 2009

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Calling it, he's either got a Squall-style nose gash or it's an infinitesimally tiny little gouge on one of his cheeks and he's blowing it way out of proportion.

I'm gonna say that his new scar makes him look ruggedly handsome rather than pretty-boy handsome and that's why he's freaking out

# ? Sep 2, 2022 03:14

Schwarzwald: Jul 27, 2004; Don't Blink

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Calling it, he's either got a Squall-style nose gash or it's an infinitesimally tiny little gouge on one of his cheeks and he's blowing it way out of proportion.

Guessing the mafia boss scribbled on his face with a permanent marker.

# ? Sep 2, 2022 03:15

Julet Esqu: May 6, 2007

Because it's a diary. If making it felt worthwhile at the time, then it did what it was supposed to do.

# ? Sep 2, 2022 03:35

JethroMcB: Jan 23, 2004; We're normal now.
We love your family.

Julet Esqu posted:

Because it's a diary. If making it felt worthwhile at the time, then it did what it was supposed to do.

A meta series about Luann realizing how dumb and boring the storylines of Luann, the strip itself, are.

# ? Sep 2, 2022 03:38

Professor Wayne: Aug 27, 2008; So, Harvey, what became of the giant penny?

They actually let him keep it.

Schwarzwald posted:

Guessing the mafia boss scribbled on his face with a permanent marker.

He drew a dick on that guy's face like Zorro

# ? Sep 2, 2022 04:26

EasyEW: Mar 8, 2006; I've got my father's great big six-shooter with me 'n' if anybody in this woods wants to start somethin' just let 'em--but they DASSN'T.

It's getting late, I frittered the day away, but I might as well sneak something under the line, so here you are...

First of all, while we weren't looking, CK snuck in some new recurring Popeye content: Olive & Popeye, with visual artist Shadia Amin contributing Tuesdays and Randy Milholland doing Thursdays.

Randy says they're not necessarily going to be interconnected each week like this, but he thought it'd be fun to do it this way this time around.

Toonerville Folks (December 4-6, 1919)

Blondie From Zero (October 3-5, 1932)

EasyEW fucked around with this message at 05:21 on Sep 2, 2022

# ? Sep 2, 2022 04:32

Kid Fenris: Jan 22, 2004; If someone is reading this...
I must have failed.

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Calling it, he's either got a Squall-style nose gash or it's an infinitesimally tiny little gouge on one of his cheeks and he's blowing it way out of proportion.

He'll have a scar just like Rie's, and now they can be scar buddies.

# ? Sep 2, 2022 05:07