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How old is she? Sounds like she's just made it clear that IT'S TIME. Some kids are just ready early! Edit: If she's old enough to go to all that trouble, she's definitely ready! :-D
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Oct 2, 2022 21:07
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Coming up on 2 yo pretty quick here Wife is out of town on business so... Gonna leave it in the living room and hope she tries again? Gonna move it to the bathroom eventually but why mess with success
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Oct 3, 2022 00:58
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Hadlock posted:Not sure how to proceed from here. Just kind of stunned to find pee in there New thread title?
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Oct 3, 2022 01:54
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Aw man what a lovely experience with my 4 year olds sleep study. We got there at 6:45 pm and thought we had a great nurse with 28 years experience. I told her I’ve never been through this before, nor had my son, but she was like “oh just go through your bedtime routine and we’ll hook everything up”. There was paw patrol on the tv, but we don’t watch tv before bed so I shut that off and started reading him books. She comes in and was like “why did you turn off the tv? That’s what I use to distract them while I hook them up.”…ok. He actually handled being wired up pretty well. He even fell asleep pretty quickly. No night terrors all night so hopefully they can get something from the data. She woke him/us up at midnight because a wire on his finger had come loose and he loving lost it and just wanted to leave. I was with him on that but he fell back asleep 5 minutes later. Earlier she’d told us checkout was at 5:30. I didn’t sleep for poo poo so at 5:25 I’m packing up and start to wake him up and she comes in and says not to wake him because he’s entering a REM cycle…welp I hosed that up because he woke up. I later told her I thought checkout was at 5:30 and she was all “well yeah but if he’s having a REM pattern than we can wait.” Again, first time going through it so I didn’t know. Anyways, we both took naps Saturday afternoon and now he’s scared to sleep without me at night. He’s never slept in my bed before but I’m thinking that’s right around the corner…
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Oct 3, 2022 02:18
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Seems like anything that happens at night at a hospital is a lovely experience. Well, congrats on collecting the data, at least, I guess? Hope they can draw some conclusions from it.
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Oct 3, 2022 10:15
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Hippie Hedgehog posted:Seems like anything that happens at night at a hospital is a lovely experience. Well, congrats on collecting the data, at least, I guess? Hope they can draw some conclusions from it. We’ll see. We’ve been nudging him around 10 at night (not to awake him, just to gently disrupt him based on instructions from the sleep doctor) and that’s actually helped so maybe that’s our solution. Last night he said he was scared and kept wanting to come in our bed 
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Oct 3, 2022 10:59
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In the span of like 2 months, toddler has gone from, "kind of whiny waking up, but calm down in 30 seconds to 5 minutes", to, "my goal is to make everyone's life a living hell for 90+ minutes, scream for the other parent like I'm being kidnapped" Also now starting to happen at night. Wife is out of town on business trip, ended up doing a WhatsApp video call at 2am to get her to calm down, after visiting every room in the house to validate mommy was in fact, not hiding from her Then wake up again this morning to what feels like a high stakes hostage situation trying to get her ready for daycare
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Oct 3, 2022 13:31
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My daughter got too tired to internalize her disappointment at not getting a Target pillow that says "más amor por favor" on it Was real stoic about it all evening, then lost it crying at bedtime when the realization of loss set in. Fell asleep like a rock after that.
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Oct 3, 2022 13:57
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I have reverted back to being a baby, it seems. Ear infection in both ears, using a booger rag for my nose, and I’m teething. A wisdom tooth decided to come through over the weekend…
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Oct 3, 2022 14:23
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Koivunen posted:I have reverted back to being a baby, it seems. Ear infection in both ears, using a booger rag for my nose, and I’m teething. A wisdom tooth decided to come through over the weekend… Stare long enough into the abyss... Condolences, though.
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Oct 3, 2022 16:00
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I've just gotta rant about daycare. We've been on a wait list for a local Montessori since birth. They didn't have any openings for infants, so we made things work until my son qualified as a toddler (the first month after he's 14 months). This means he's not starting with the rest of the class, which isn't a big deal. They only had 2 days a week available, but we'll make that work as well, as we've got coverage the other 3 days for now. Communication with this place has been... awful. We've been talking to them for over a year. We went to their intro/new parent event, talked to the teachers, met everyone, etc. Asked about paperwork, were told they'd sent it closer to the start of school. 2 weeks before school starts, they send out a big packet of paperwork (on a Monday afternoon). The next afternoon, we get a ProCare alert that the documents must be turned in by the end of the day. Is 1 days a reasonable amount of time to get this poo poo done, including doctor's signatures (which have a 3-day wait)? I don't think so. We scramble and get it all done, submit it, and then get a "We can't process this because he's not starting with the other kids, but we'll hang onto it until he starts". The intro document had a ton of school rules/policies, some of which were going to be a problem (no pacifiers, nothing about how they serve or handle milk (lunch/snacks are served with open cups and water), a bunch of clothing restrictions that didn't make sense (no printed characters or graphics on shirts), etc) We ask the necessary questions and get "None of that applies to the little kids" response. If it only applies to school age kids, then loving say so. Every time we ask a bunch of questions, they send a mass email out explaining all of them (which tells me that they're being 100% reactive instead of thinking about this stuff ahead of time, and other parents were asking the same questions). They still haven't told us the cost. They keep sending the full day, 5-days a week price, and saying that it scales based on the days they're there. OK, linearly? I doubt that. We've asked every time we talk to them if they have room in the aftercare program. 8:30A->2:30P really isn't a lot of time, so the extra 2 hours a day was critical. We told them this every time, and were told "We'll make something work" or "We'll have to see what's available". He starts TOMORROW, and they just sent us a message that there's no availability. So now we're looking at 2 hours of driving (the place is 25 minutes away, and charges $1/minute that you're late) for him to be in their care for 6 hours, of which he'll be sleeping for 2. It's better than nothing, but come the gently caress on. Just say that there's no availability from the get-go. There's poo poo for options where we live, we love the teachers and the setting, we've got friends who sent their kids there and had zero problems, but this is maddening. Either the administration just doesn't have their poo poo together, or we've done something to piss them off. IDGI.
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Oct 3, 2022 19:02
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I mean this in a genuine non snarky way, why do you want to send your kid to this particular school? Because that sounds just terrible in every single way. Edit missed that you have no option sorry. Still, loving condolences because it sounds miserable
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Oct 3, 2022 19:17
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I think revenue kids take extreme priority over wait listers Also daycares are wildly short on staff these days No pacifier and open cup is standard Sucks you had to jump through a bunch of hoops on short notice though
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Oct 3, 2022 19:22
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Real talk, is it possible to look into daycare offered by nearby churches? Even if you're not religious it may be something you skipped over. That 1$/minute late is loving highway robbery, is that in any way normal??
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Oct 3, 2022 19:33
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It's normal enough in the greater Philly burbs. I think ours is like $25, then once you're more than 15 minutes late it escalates. IIRC a coworker said his daycare on the mainline started at a $50 late fee and went up because people were just abusing it "in for $50, $250's fine" kind of a thing. Way back when I had to commute, I asked our director about it, and she was pretty upfront that if you're stuck on the highway, call asap and she can look for volunteers or figure out how to dodge overtime and she'll work it out rather than huge penalty fees.
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Oct 3, 2022 19:43
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Out of talking with various daycare staff $1/min isn't uncommon, but generally it doesn't get to that level unless there's some real chronic late parents who think other lower/token late fees are just a way of getting sitting services because they're "too busy" to get there. (And also don't care that staff's day actually ends too).
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Oct 3, 2022 19:49
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I've never heard of such a thing! I get it for the end of the day though. I thought OP meant for the beginning of the day. I ran late once and my daughter missed breakfast, that was on me (but she did eat all morning while I was getting ready).
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Oct 3, 2022 19:52
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My kid goes to a church daycare even though we aren't religious. He can learn about Noah for the cheap price of $800 a month.
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Oct 3, 2022 19:53
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Toys? No. Books? gently caress No. Snack? Believe it or not, that's a No. Half empty bottle of water one of us picked up the other day? gently caress yeah an hour of fascination and still going. We went by a daycare today because we will be moving next year. Seemed great but the director was like "oh would you like your kid to play a bit while we do the tour and chat?" and I'm sitting there thinking "Miss, you work with toddlers what makes you think introducing one into a toy packed environment only to leave in 15 minutes is a good idea?"
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Oct 3, 2022 20:06
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Hadlock posted:I think revenue kids take extreme priority over wait listers What they meant was "No pacifiers other than rest time for kids under 4", and "no water bottles for kids over 4". By "No designs or characters on clothing", they actually meant "No Marvel/Disney/Spongebob" characters and "no commercial slogans or printed designs", and normal kid stuff is fine. hallo spacedog posted:I mean this in a genuine non snarky way, why do you want to send your kid to this particular school? Because that sounds just terrible in every single way. External Organs posted:Real talk, is it possible to look into daycare offered by nearby churches? Even if you're not religious it may be something you skipped over. They really don't want people to be late, I guess. There's a 10-minute window in the morning 8:20-8:30 for dropoff, so we'll be targeting the beginning of that, with a 5-10 minute allowance for traffic. Aftercare is $60/hour. poo poo's expensive around here.
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Oct 3, 2022 20:08
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That's simultaneously the strictest and most disorganized daycare I've ever heard of. Probably 70% of what makes a good daycare is the director. If they don't have their poo poo organized and staff in line that makes it so much worse for you.
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Oct 3, 2022 20:54
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unknown posted:Out of talking with various daycare staff $1/min isn't uncommon, but generally it doesn't get to that level unless there's some real chronic late parents who think other lower/token late fees are just a way of getting sitting services because they're "too busy" to get there. (And also don't care that staff's day actually ends too). Yeah this has been our experience. Both of our places had a $1/min line item. On the very rare occasion we were late, being late was never an issue, they just need a stick to prevent chronic parents from abusing the daycare ExcessBLarg! posted:Probably 70% of what makes a good daycare is the director. I have limited experience so far, but strong agree. Our director is also the owner and very involved/on top of things
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Oct 3, 2022 21:09
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That story of the Montessori daycare reminds me of a recently opened and presumably unrelated Montessori daycare here. A few weeks ago we went to the local playground and it happened that the parents whose kids were at this new daycare were having a meeting there. Their kids were running around while they were shouting, complaining, and openly weeping about the daycare’s lack of communication and disorganization One of the most bizarre things I’ve seen in a while.
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Oct 4, 2022 00:24
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We just switched daycares, I’m pretty sure the regular rate is $1/min? Scared to know what the late fee is, I’m only in charge of drop off for a reason. It’s a cool spot though, at the Discovery Museum in Sausalito. Little guy loves it and they are way more serious/organized/communicative than the old place.
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Oct 4, 2022 00:44
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Our daycare is $1 per minute late. Of course they are also open until 6 pm so I don’t really have an issue getting there in time. We considered a Montessori daycare but they were 8:30 to 3:00 and more expensive than the 6:30 to 6:00 daycare we chose.
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Oct 4, 2022 01:02
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Yeah the $1/min is punitive. If the center closes at 6 and you show up at 6:30, whoever had to stay a half hour late at work is gonna be pissed. It's common here.
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Oct 4, 2022 02:14
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The director called my wife and they chatted. She had the usual answers for the communication breakdowns (staffing issues, lots of people out sick, etc). She said she'd send the costs tomorrow. You know, the first day he's there. JFC. My wife explained that we're really disappointed in their comms and general lack of attention to detail, stated that we'd evaluate things this "semester", and that we've got a tour lined up for a daycare place that's literally a 5-minute drive from our house, and can go as late as 6PM. I don't think they actually have openings, but we're going to check it out and get on the wait list. If the Montessori doesn't get their poo poo together by January, we'll move him then. I think he'll like the Montessori environment a lot more, but if it ain't working for us at all, it ain't gonna work. There's another Montessori locally, but they don't start until age 3. We've got a friend with a kid there, and they like it. Everything seems hosed up right now, across the board. We're just exhausted from dealing with it, a toddler, and trying to keep the rest of our lives moving at all.
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Oct 4, 2022 02:31
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It's so weird that they haven't told you costs. really weird.
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Oct 4, 2022 02:37
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You are probably signing up to be the new "improved inflation-adjusted pricing model" canary good luck
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Oct 4, 2022 03:01
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Let me tell you about opening hours on local daycares in my city. Most are run by the city, but there are tons of little coops, too. A few are probably for-profits but they're a minority in that case. Some churches run one. They are all governed/inspected by the city regularly. Money comes mostly from the national government, on a per-child allotment. Local regulations are that opening hours are "whatever the parents need in order to attend their work, within reason". The interpretation of "within reason" seems to be 05:30 - 19:00. Parent who need night-time child care are directed towards one of a few specialized 24/7 day cares. The routine is usually that the parents are required to input their hours in the app at least two weeks in advance, so the principal can put down a schedule. Late changes may be refused. If you pick up later than agreed, the late fee is "the last staffer will scowl at you and let you know what the rules are". The monthly fee is income-dependent: Max 3% of household income for the first child, 2% of income for the second, and 1% for the third, but with a cap that almost all wage earners will hit, at ca $137 per month per child. The actual montly cost of each child in a Swedish preschool is 13166 SEK ($1205 US), so parents pay about 11% of the cost directly. That leaves about $920 US per taxpayer. It's an expensive system, but I have a feeling it's worth it for the lower stress in families. I'd like to see some calculation comparing the economic efficiency between this large-scale tax-financed daycare system and the de-centralized chaos I see described ITT from time to time. How much is the average American paying for daycare, and what would have been the cost per taxpayer if it were financed with taxes? Edit: In practice, I think most preschools will be open between ca 07:00 and 17:00. Most families have two full-time working parents but the "flex work" middle-class will do what they can to have one parent start early at work and one later. Hippie Hedgehog fucked around with this message at 09:14 on Oct 4, 2022 |
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Oct 4, 2022 09:09
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I’ve talked about our daycare woman before, who has to be 75 years old, and has been looking after kids in her basement for 40 years. We’re on a waitlist for a more formalized school-type daycare for when baby is three, but for now, she can run around with a few friends and shout at frogs on the tv. Having it just be the one woman makes communicating a shitload easier and there is max flexibility. We suspect she is getting close to retiring, as she is down to 4 kids and does not look to be actively looking for more. Are there no parents/community group on any online site where you could see if someone is running a similar setup? We found one down the literal street, and I shudder to think of a 30 min commute every morning.
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Oct 4, 2022 13:44
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Hippie Hedgehog posted:
We’re currently paying about $1500 for our 2.75 year old, and $1700 for the 7 month old for private Montessori childcare. To give you an idea relative to taxpayer-funded daycare, the school district we’re looking to move to has ‘state’ Pre-K starting at 3 years for $850 - so almost half of the $1500 we’re paying for the toddler now. I’m assuming the $850 is subsidized to some extent, e.g. the fixed cost like the building will probably be funded through the local property tax, and the $850 pays for the direct cost (teacher salaries etc.).
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Oct 4, 2022 13:56
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These are city prices but we’re paying about $2200/month for 5-day baby daycare which will drop to ~$1900 or something in a few months when we transition to toddler daycare. It’s pretty all-inclusive, we just provide diapers and wipes basically, they do all food/milk/formula. There’s a Montessori that would be closer but it was something like $2900/month which is just… oof. We make decent money and could probably afford it but paying like $700-800 more per month is… just a whole lot of money that we could spend on other things. No idea how much it would cost to be tax-subsidized, but I’m sure that would vary depending on the actual policy/legislation? And it’s America so surely it would be means-tested… Chicago at least has universal pre-K which I think is “free”, but I think nothing before that unless you meet income thresholds.
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Oct 4, 2022 14:17
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Price seems to vary geographically but typically a large center with a curriculum is anywhere from 1250-2500 a month, and then smaller home daycares are maybe 25% cheaper. There are often nonprofits in cities in the US that will fund daycare for low income families but I think the demand is much greater than the supply, and they’re usually part of employment programs and might have weird morality clauses. There are various grassroots organizations that want the government to provide free care earlier than kindergarten, which starts around 5 years old, but it never gets anywhere because nobody wants to pay for it. It never made any sense to me: why are people happy to pay taxes to care for 5 year olds but say gently caress you to the idea of paying taxes to care for 3 and 4 year olds.
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Oct 4, 2022 14:27
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JackBandit posted:why are people happy to pay taxes to care for 5 year olds I don't even know if people are happy to do that. Our local school district is trying to get an operations tax levy passed this year, so they can actually continue to pay for staff salaries, operating costs, etc. And there are a hell of a lot of people with the attitude "my kids don't go there anymore / I don't have kids, why should I have to pay more taxes?"
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Oct 4, 2022 14:48
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I basically ended up quitting my job when my kid was born because it would likely cost more to pay for child care than I made.
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Oct 4, 2022 14:56
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Good-Natured Filth posted:I don't even know if people are happy to do that. Our local school district is trying to get an operations tax levy passed this year, so they can actually continue to pay for staff salaries, operating costs, etc. And there are a hell of a lot of people with the attitude "my kids don't go there anymore / I don't have kids, why should I have to pay more taxes?" Yeah getting school funding at any level is a constant battle. Years ago a nearby township finally had enough commuters move in to override the votes from a rich destination retirement community and got a government elected that would actually invest in the schools and particularly pre-k. You'd have thought that the winners had run on a platform of "murder everyone over 65" with how much some of the retirees screamed over it, and they had all the time in the world to attend council meetings.
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Oct 4, 2022 15:31
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fourwood posted:These are city prices but we’re paying about $2200/month for 5-day baby daycare which will drop to ~$1900 or something in a few months when we transition to toddler daycare. It’s pretty all-inclusive, we just provide diapers and wipes basically, they do all food/milk/formula. There’s a Montessori that would be closer but it was something like $2900/month which is just… oof. We make decent money and could probably afford it but paying like $700-800 more per month is… just a whole lot of money that we could spend on other things. Yeah, we're paying about the same for our one year old in Chicago. Our place didn't provide the formula and obviously couldn't provide breast milk, but they do the food and cow's milk. It's nice because it's close and we didn't have to go on a waitlist, but oof.
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Oct 4, 2022 19:51
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hallo spacedog posted:I basically ended up quitting my job when my kid was born because it would likely cost more to pay for child care than I made. Picking up a daycare bill is like signing the lease on a very mediocre 1 bedroom apartment, I've noticed. It is a lot of loving money. I would not be opposed to seeing the government offer interest free loans to cover daycare or something, similar to what they do for university student loans. There are a lot of skeptics that view dual income as a lie and productivity in the US has increased since the 70s largely due to retiring the stay at home mom in favor of dual income. I am on the fence but starting to lean that way.
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Oct 4, 2022 21:02
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We got pricing via the official enrollment form, finally. 2 days a week, 0830-1430 is $8,350. 5 days a week would be $16,700. His first day went ok. Not great, but we'll see how it goes. Ate about 25% of lunch, took 2 short naps... Hopefully it gets better.
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Oct 4, 2022 21:03
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