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Josef bugman posted:Currently applying for a Volunteer management job role (as in managing volunteers, I'm not going to do management for free), and oof. It's not as if I can't do it, but it is one hell of a thing to go "yes I can do this" to employers. Being honest in interviews is pointless. The whole process is utterly loving stupid most of the time. One time I applied for a job at a company I'd used to work at for years, same job but different location. I got asked some nonsense about being a team player & I explained that I'm happy in a team situation, being able to ask questions and answer others questions but I also like just getting my head down and getting on with it. Didn't get the job because I said I was comfortable working alone because apparently that means I'm not a team-player. Anyway, I've applied for a gig at Citizen's Advice, be nice to have a job where I get paid to help people instead of doing the most meaningless nonsense. Well see how that goes
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Oct 6, 2022 11:40
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forkboy84 posted:Being honest in interviews is pointless. The whole process is utterly loving stupid most of the time. One time I applied for a job at a company I'd used to work at for years, same job but different location. I got asked some nonsense about being a team player & I explained that I'm happy in a team situation, being able to ask questions and answer others questions but I also like just getting my head down and getting on with it. Didn't get the job because I said I was comfortable working alone because apparently that means I'm not a team-player. Best of luck bud! I just want to not be continually making poo poo up. I can do the job role, it's just that I don't know why I'm expected to lie to people when I could just go "I can do this, give me a week of training and I could probably do it really well".
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Oct 6, 2022 11:46
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thebardyspoon posted:My mum has an interview at a toy shop next week and they've asked her to "bring in an object that represents your personality" for the interview. I remember having an interview at Games Workshop and they did this whole day-long group interview thing involving having to evangelise about your favourite film and explain to everyone why it's so good. Honestly it was a horrible process and I was in my prime awkward-socially-inept-teen phase so I had no chance, but my main takeaway from that whole thing was that I don't think that it matters what you pick in these kinds of exercises. This object one is the same, just as long as you can sell it as having qualities that you would like to emphasise in yourself. Screwdriver - "Can't do everything on its own but an integral part of any toolkit", A stuffed toy - "Warm and friendly, can handle being put under pressure and bounces back", all that sort of wanky poo poo. I'm not sure if I'd specifically go with a toy or not? Maybe, if she can manage to find some qualities to talk about, but I'd err on picking something with qualities she wants to emphasise over a toy specifically. e: maybe Lego? "Strong and dependable, but better as part of a larger whole". e2: Stretch Armstrong? "Can easily handle being pulled in a lot of different directions at the same time". Surprise T Rex fucked around with this message at 11:55 on Oct 6, 2022 |
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Oct 6, 2022 11:52
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Josef bugman posted:Best of luck bud! because capitalism sucks and has weird incentives. You lie and then just do the job to the best of your ability once you're in which, from knowing you, is probably better than 90% of people would do it anyway. Obviously don't lie about anything that can be proved.
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Oct 6, 2022 11:53
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Josef bugman posted:Currently applying for a Volunteer management job role (as in managing volunteers, I'm not going to do management for free), and oof. It's not as if I can't do it, but it is one hell of a thing to go "yes I can do this" to employers. https://twitter.com/paulwardy66/status/1577183094980759552 Insightful stuff. https://twitter.com/ninlive/status/1183382334868983814
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Oct 6, 2022 12:02
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I think I've hit the point in my career (by which I mean actually having a career at last) where I can just be honest about my achievements and what I'm good at, which is very refreshing. All of this conceptualised wankery is for when you can't generally give hard numbers for things that you personally had responsibility for (ie. I oversaw a project with X people for X branches totalling X cost) and unfortunately it seems to be the case for the interviewers as well, as they have to pad out the interview process to make themselves seem as diligent as possible. It's an endlessly spiralling problem created by endless layers of middle management and it loving sucks.
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Oct 6, 2022 12:03
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Miftan posted:Obviously don't lie about anything that can be proved. Unless you are home secretary. Years ago an OpenReach job I looked at wanted applicants to record a 2 minute video explaining why you should get the job  Seems like a good way of filtering out people who are the wrong 'culture fit' And the ones that can't afford a camera.
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Oct 6, 2022 12:03
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sinky posted:Years ago an OpenReach job I looked at wanted applicants to record a 2 minute video explaining why you should get the job My mum had one of these for a cleaning job at East Midlands Rail. I think they said the video was analyzed by AI as well, so yeah good luck to anyone who wasn't white or neurotypical.
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Oct 6, 2022 12:06
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Miftan posted:because capitalism sucks and has weird incentives. You lie and then just do the job to the best of your ability once you're in which, from knowing you, is probably better than 90% of people would do it anyway. Obviously don't lie about anything that can be proved. This. The whole point of interviews is to lie your arse off Why? gently caress knows. But that's the game being played
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Oct 6, 2022 12:07
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Interviews are to assess a few things - all the wanky bullshit is about whether you can play the game. Everyone knows it’s dumb, but if you can’t play along with this level of bullshit convincingly then you’re going to cause everyone headaches when you don’t stick to the kayfabe when you actually work there. I’m not even saying this is bad necessarily. The whole system of hierarchical work is bad and there are aspects of my job for instance that I know we all hold as true when they aren’t because the lie is more convenient and ultimately makes life easier and us better at what we do. I’d also just never agree to work with anyone I’d not met before if I had any power over it. Ultimately ‘do I like the idea of spending tens of hours a week with this person’ is a pretty loving important selection criterion.
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Oct 6, 2022 12:16
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Retail job interviews are specifically skewed towards selecting people who'll eat poo poo and keep smiling: stuff like making you do a dance or sing a song for the other applicants is all part of the process. Basically, they want to weed out anyone who'll just tell a stroppy customer to gently caress off (or punch them in the face).
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Oct 6, 2022 12:16
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A job application should be about selling why you're the right person for the job and the interview should be about working out how much you were lying on your application [edit] and whether that matters.
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Oct 6, 2022 12:23
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I interviewed for Blockbuster back when that was a thing and didn't get it because I was asked how I'd recommend a terrible film to a customer (I think it was Batman & Robin) and instead of lying about how great a film it is I just said it was a good laugh.
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Oct 6, 2022 12:24
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Josef bugman posted:Currently applying for a Volunteer management job role (as in managing volunteers, I'm not going to do management for free), and oof. It's not as if I can't do it, but it is one hell of a thing to go "yes I can do this" to employers. Any job spec is just a wishlist of stuff they'd like you to be able to do. You just have to lie and say "yeah I can do that stuff". I'm guessing a volunteer management job is probably mostly soft-skills stuff and no accreditations required? In which case, its a no-brainer, you simply must lie as hard as you can
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Oct 6, 2022 12:25
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Worst job interview I had was for my old school, for an IT position. Not teaching, just maintaining the network. I knew they only had 3 classes of computers, piece of piss. I forget the exact question, but it was something like calculate the max data transmission rate of coaxial cable over 500 meters, or some poo poo. Hadn't a clue, worked in IT for years before, worked on networks, worked with servers,and they ask loving math questions. The job is to stop kids from looking up porn 99% of the time.
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Oct 6, 2022 12:33
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Re: weird job interviews. A guy I know went for a retail job at the Disney store where as part of the interview he was told to go out into the shopping mall(USA) and perform his favourite Disney song at top volume. He did it no problem because he's an exhibitionist and deeply cynical not because of any particular care for Disney tunes. But yeah I think a lot of corporate attempts to screen for gregarious, dynamic, 'fun' characters end up kind of kinda functioning as screening for good liars and personality disorders massive spider fucked around with this message at 12:38 on Oct 6, 2022 |
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Oct 6, 2022 12:34
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massive spider posted:Re: weird job interviews. A guy I know went for a retail job at the Disney store where as part of the interview he was told to go out into the shopping mall(USA) and perform his favourite Disney song at top volume. Make sense that capital rewards psychopathy when capitalism runs on psychopathy
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Oct 6, 2022 12:36
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Failed Imagineer posted:Any job spec is just a wishlist of stuff they'd like you to be able to do. You just have to lie and say "yeah I can do that stuff". I'm guessing a volunteer management job is probably mostly soft-skills stuff and no accreditations required? In which case, its a no-brainer, you simply must lie as hard as you can Of course, as Jakabite says, a huge part of basically any job is whether you understand the game. Skills can be taught or worked around, a "difficult personality" is another matter entirely.
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Oct 6, 2022 12:37
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Title courtesy of BBC. https://twitter.com/caitlinmoran/status/1577602119124897798
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Oct 6, 2022 12:38
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happyhippy posted:calculate the max data transmission rate of coaxial cable over 500 meters, or some poo poo. 
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Oct 6, 2022 12:40
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The person interviewing you has even less idea what they're doing than you do, and probably only got told they'd be interviewing you ten minutes ago.
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Oct 6, 2022 12:45
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cinci zoo sniper posted:Title courtesy of BBC. Somehow the lions are also clowns
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Oct 6, 2022 12:47
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My first ever interview was for Argos and when they asked why I wanted to work at Argos I said "because I want money" lol Needless to say I didn't get the job
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Oct 6, 2022 12:47
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The Wicked ZOGA posted:Somehow the lions are also clowns Also all clowns are cannibals who want to get the audience.
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Oct 6, 2022 12:48
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Clownnibalism
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Oct 6, 2022 12:50
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I had an interview once where they asked me "if a magic fairy offered you any job in the world, what would you choose?" Me: "and this fairy has no limits on their magical abilities?" them: "yup" Me: "I'd like to not work but still be able to afford things" I somehow got the job, got promoted, and then demoted over a period of like 3 years. 
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Oct 6, 2022 12:51
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Think I saw Anti Growth Coalition on the NME Stage in '92.
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Oct 6, 2022 12:56
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Easiest job interview. For my 3rd year in uni doing Computer Science we had 1 year working in placement. Basically you got paid 1/4 than what a normal person would be, so loads of companies were looking for us. The company I wanted to go to asked 'Whats the difference between ROM and RAM?' as their only question.
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Oct 6, 2022 12:59
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happyhippy posted:Easiest job interview. The company I went to had one actual developer and I was one of three interns After 2 months I just left to do my final year
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Oct 6, 2022 13:06
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fuctifino posted:If there's a political, environmental or social protest group in the UK, you can guarantee that the police and/or military intelligence will have infiltrated it. It's been like this for years. I've seen it happen during the Occupy protests, and even the anti Scientology protest groups back in the day. Never underestimate the levels that the government will go to snoop, control and set up. Going so far off the rails as to end up in jail is counterproductive to the job. Shouldn't they be inciting recidivists to commit crime so those people end up in jail instead?
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Oct 6, 2022 13:24
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Jakabite posted:Interviews are to assess a few things - all the wanky bullshit is about whether you can play the game. Everyone knows it’s dumb, but if you can’t play along with this level of bullshit convincingly then you’re going to cause everyone headaches when you don’t stick to the kayfabe when you actually work there. I’m not even saying this is bad necessarily. The whole system of hierarchical work is bad and there are aspects of my job for instance that I know we all hold as true when they aren’t because the lie is more convenient and ultimately makes life easier and us better at what we do. This 10000%, interviews are the "weirdo test" that's all And frankly being a reasonably cynical person is kind of a superpower for interviews - telling the same 4 illustrative stories that you've memorised which make you look great, even though many of the details are fictitious, but you're telling that story with the right pauses and emphasis to make it seem like it's just coming to you off the top of your head from a fondly-remembered time in your life. Throw in a little non-controversial workplace-appropriate good humour (aka bants) and you're golden .
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Oct 6, 2022 13:31
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Worst job interview I was in was a group interview, me and 6 other people. General team questions like 'you're stuck in the middle of them ocean, pick out of the following items you'd want'. Then they turn around and ask everybody 'without picking yourself, who should get the job' I'd only remembered one person's name so I picked them. Nobody picked me. I got the job though so I guess everybody but me answered wrong, especially the lady who said Bob the Builder. This is a contract management role, Bob is purely a tools guy.
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Oct 6, 2022 13:33
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Barry Foster posted:My first ever interview was for Argos and when they asked why I wanted to work at Argos I said "because I want money" lol That is actually the right answer when it's a comission based job.
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Oct 6, 2022 13:34
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The video submission part is what tripped me up on a recent application. I just couldn't bring myself to bullshit that day so I didn't submit the application - I suppose they successfully weeded me out.Failed Imagineer posted:This 10000%, interviews are the "weirdo test" that's all I've heard before that I was hired because I was the only one who seemed normal, but I've also not gotten hired plenty of times when I knew I just didn't really put myself across convincingly so I think it's a mix of weirdo test, bullshit detector, and subjection to obviously pointless questions to see if you get annoyed/bored/can't summon up the correct kind of bullshit. About to be applying for a bunch of jobs so this page has been a good reminder for me not to take this stuff seriously and search my soul for if I'm being honest when doing applications and interviews. I have the ridiculous tendency to believe people are being genuine and try to be in return.
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Oct 6, 2022 13:37
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I applied for a job a few years ago where they sent me a script of interview questions and asked me to record myself, in an interview setting, answering them - effectively interviewing myself. I told them it seemed like they didn’t think interviewing me was important enough to set aside dedicated time to do it, so they could shove it and I wasn’t interested anymore. Their HR person seemed to be genuinely surprised that I didn’t want to go through with it because apparently nobody else has ever said no to it, and still tried to talk me into going through with it because “the management team had really liked (my) CV.”
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Oct 6, 2022 13:49
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History Comes Inside! posted:I applied for a job a few years ago where they sent me a script of interview questions and asked me to record myself, in an interview setting, answering them - effectively interviewing myself. I would have done that, it seems really easy. You could even have fun with and do like, a sock puppet with a silly voice as the interlocutor. I guess congrats on standing up for some principle tho (the right to be subjected to a formal interview?) .
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Oct 6, 2022 13:52
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Brendan Rodgers posted:That is actually the right answer when it's a comission based job. This is 100% true and you get bonus points for saying things like "You can't make an omelete without breaking a few eggs" when asked about any moral decision you might have to forgo that keeps you from your bonus.
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Oct 6, 2022 13:52
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Failed Imagineer posted:I would have done that, it seems really easy. You could even have fun with and do like, a sock puppet with a silly voice as the interlocutor. It wasn’t for any kind of creative position whatsoever or that would have made sense, it was for a job looking after a bunch of computer touchers in a contact centre because I guess that’s my career now after ~20 years of having to work for a living.
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Oct 6, 2022 13:56
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Oh, I had another weird one. The makers of the PS1 version of Grand Theft Auto 1. Not Rockstar, they were called Visual Science, then DMA Design. They had me over for a weekend, and interviewed on both days. Then they said they wanted me to actually do a coding test over the two days, but had no spare computers. So they wanted me to do it after I go home, and email them it. I didn't have a computer, told them that, they said it was no problem, type it out and send it to them. So I went home, spent two days in the local library on WORD typing out C++ code, and sent them it. And they got all huffy when it wouldn't even compile. They got angry at the recruit agency that sent me.
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Oct 6, 2022 13:57
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if a firm has some multi-day boondoggle process just tell them you have another offer youre going with if youve not heard back by your deadline; if you dont hear from them you never had the job anyway and you've saved yourself a lot of grief it sucks when you're desperate but ducking out of the 7 interview follow these exact instructions or your family will be killed process is always a win for you in the long run. going along with it is a shipwreck survivor drinking seawater type situation, short term fix that makes things much worse fairly quickly
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Oct 6, 2022 14:11
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