- Karate Bastard
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mpregozhin
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Oct 29, 2022 11:53
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 26, 2024 00:28
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- The Voice of Labor
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get in loser, we go chant down babylon one more time
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Oct 29, 2022 17:56
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- The Voice of Labor
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every year the wizard school teaches the freshmen wizards detect evil and for a whole month all of the town's aristocracy, constabulary, landlords, bankers and small business tyrants glow red
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Oct 29, 2022 21:46
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- Buttchocks
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No, I like my hat, thanks.
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every year the wizard school teaches the freshmen wizards detect evil and for a whole month all of the town's aristocracy, constabulary, landlords, bankers and small business tyrants glow red
They cast Detect Bevel by mistake.
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Oct 30, 2022 03:48
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- canyoneer
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I only have canyoneyes for you
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Sentencing a guy to execution by firing squad, but it's with Nerf guns and it takes like a couple weeks while he slowly dehydrates and starves while being continuously gently pummeled. The entire time they chant the catch phrase slogan "It's Nerf of Nothin'!"
Also, one person has an empty Nerf gun but they don't tell anyone who it is so no one has to feel guilty because of plausible deniability like a traditional firing squad, but it becomes pretty obvious who it is after like half a minute.
a clown execution, where the condemned is given the choice of being hanged by their giant pants, pie throwing firing squad, or beheading with the clown executioner wielding a giant squeaky rubber mallet. the executions are often (but not always) non-fatal
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Oct 30, 2022 04:14
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- caspergers
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My fetish is vintage butts
Here are my top three favorites
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Oct 30, 2022 11:41
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- Karate Bastard
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Truck butts.
No, truck boobaloobies.
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Oct 30, 2022 14:33
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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A breaking announcement by a theoretical physicist with an uncanilly photogenic beard is undermined by the fact that the camera just can't stop making love to his hirsuteness long enough for anyone to focus on what he's saying.
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Oct 30, 2022 14:53
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- Karate Bastard
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And then being annihilated by the physicist with the bad hair
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Oct 30, 2022 16:16
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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I'm interested that the good physicist is fighting a bad physicist and the difference between them is quality of facial hair.
This reminds me of that old front page article where the civil war is fought over beard care.
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Oct 30, 2022 21:49
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- Karate Bastard
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All the best physicists have had famously bad hair.
That's how you tell the real deal from the phonies. Really bad hair, wild hair.
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Oct 30, 2022 22:16
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- Harold Fjord
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It reminds me of the barber riddle but I haven't worked out a proper joke there yet
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Oct 30, 2022 22:22
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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A hardboiled noire priest.
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Nov 1, 2022 10:55
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- Prof. Crocodile
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A hardboiled noire priest.
There she was, in a form fitting habit that clung to her like a boyfriend home from the eastern front, rosary beads running through her fingers like whiskey runs through a sailor.
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Nov 1, 2022 16:44
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- Finger Prince
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There she was, in a form fitting habit that clung to her like a boyfriend home from the eastern front, rosary beads running through her fingers like whiskey runs through a sailor.
I couldn't keep my mind off of her. I passed her the Eucharist. "The body of Christ", I said, but all I could think was "Christ, what a body." It felt like I'd been 40 days in the desert.
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Nov 1, 2022 17:10
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- The Voice of Labor
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administering confession is getting harder every time. I listen to these people and their petty trangressions. it's all I can do to stop myself yelling at them, how absurd and myopic they are to think god would bat an eyelid at their "sins" when everyday crimes are committed in this city, the cruelty and viciousness of which enough to shake the faith of the most devout
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Nov 1, 2022 19:27
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- Karate Bastard
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Mixed metaphors.
For example
There she was, in a form fitting habit that clung to her like a boyfriend home from the eastern front, rosary beads running through her fingers like taco bell runs through an abbess.
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Nov 1, 2022 19:48
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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An american misremembering a sex pistols album as being "oi bollocks mate, we're the sex pistols innit".
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Nov 1, 2022 20:30
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- The Voice of Labor
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forgotten 80s hair metal band fat snake
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Nov 2, 2022 01:42
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- Areola Grande
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it's a free country u pervs
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*to the tune of prince's pussy control*
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
PORTION CONTROL
spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot
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Nov 2, 2022 20:22
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- Rocket Baby Dolls
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Underneath he has a velvet, yummy tummy you wish you could just stroke and squish all day! Ahh! But on top... On top it's a whole different story... On top he is a scary stiff stabber!
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I keep having thoughts about making a thread about mishearing Elton John's lyrics and making a thread about it. I don't know how distasteful it would be to start something with "Don't let your son go down on me".
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Nov 2, 2022 23:32
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- The Voice of Labor
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getting midway through my rendition of pee on hoe man before someone reminds me that was billy joel and not elton john
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Nov 2, 2022 23:45
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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Jobs that don't exist but should
Whistin' Dixie until the cows come home
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Nov 3, 2022 00:04
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- google THIS
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Yobber parents who are super proud of their kid being called a poster child but they don't quite understand what that means
google THIS fucked around with this message at 03:16 on Nov 3, 2022
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Nov 3, 2022 03:13
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- google THIS
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School Counselor: Ma'm, I don't know how to tell you this, but your son is a poster child for ADHD
Yobber Mom: ...Well I don't really "get" that forum but I support him
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Nov 3, 2022 03:33
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- Finger Prince
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Yobber parents who are super proud of their kid being called a poster child but they don't quite understand what that means
Well obviously, that's why I bought them an account!
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Nov 3, 2022 03:43
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- Karate Bastard
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I keep having thoughts about making a thread about mishearing Elton John's lyrics and making a thread about it. I don't know how distasteful it would be to start something with "Don't let your son go down on me".
Mother
Tell your children not to oh no that's right that's danzig
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Nov 3, 2022 10:02
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Joing the war on crime because you misheard it as the war on grime and now you're in over your head.
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Nov 3, 2022 13:49
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- Dip Viscous
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me and bob and sixteen dogs named bob
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Nov 3, 2022 16:01
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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A nun who becomes a rapper under the name nun2pleased
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Nov 3, 2022 21:41
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- Prof. Crocodile
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nun tha wi$er
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Nov 3, 2022 23:03
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- Abugadu
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1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.
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I keep having thoughts about making a thread about mishearing Elton John's lyrics and making a thread about it. I don't know how distasteful it would be to start something with "Don't let your son go down on me".
Can I feel you up tonight...
Even just one breast
A light massage... on them tig ol' bitties
Mounted on your chest
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Nov 4, 2022 05:13
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- The Voice of Labor
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nothing moves the blob!
*the blob weeping uncontrollably while watching grave of the fireflies*
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Nov 4, 2022 06:00
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Nothing moves president blob.
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Nov 4, 2022 14:18
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- google THIS
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Nothing moves president blob.
Taft?
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Nov 4, 2022 14:21
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 26, 2024 00:28
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Obtuse song meanings commentators who perversely see references to drugs and sex only when they are absent and vice versa.
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Nov 4, 2022 15:00
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Oct 29, 2022 11:53
thank u deep dish peat moss for the sig 
thank you for this!
