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MakaVillian
Aug 16, 2003

Well, in Whoville they say - that his tiny hands grew three sizes that day.

rndmnmbr posted:

Meanwhile, half the internet is screaming that Punk is an angel who did no wrong, and these awful terrible no-good Elite ambushed him in his locker room because they were mad he was taking their private playground away from them, and just, ugh.


People on Twitter are using Jericho's lovely MAGA wife and Punk being pro-choice etc as proof he couldn't have possibly have done anything wrong

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Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.
punk shouldntve come back
for his own well-being, I mean

a couple years ago he was so chill in interviews and stuff

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rFaM_YX8LY&t=110s

I don't know how much of that was a put-on, of course, but as a fan I really thought, yknow, good on you, man, lay that sword in the sand. if this poo poo wasn't making you happy, leave it behind

he seemed happy
watching him go from that guy to this guy inside of a year it's just like... gently caress, man, you shouldn't be doing this. it's bad for you

rndmnmbr
Jul 3, 2012

MakaVillian posted:

People on Twitter are using Jericho's lovely MAGA wife and Punk being pro-choice etc as proof he couldn't have possibly have done anything wrong

Jericho wasn't even scheduled for the scrum, but when poo poo went sideways in the locker room he stepped up and gave a good, clean, professional interview with the press with no prep time. As appalling as some of his private beliefs are, he's still the kind of guy you can build a promotion around. He and Mox have really proven their worth these past few months.

MakaVillian
Aug 16, 2003

Well, in Whoville they say - that his tiny hands grew three sizes that day.

rndmnmbr posted:

Jericho wasn't even scheduled for the scrum, but when poo poo went sideways in the locker room he stepped up and gave a good, clean, professional interview with the press with no prep time. As appalling as some of his private beliefs are, he's still the kind of guy you can build a promotion around. He and Mox have really proven their worth these past few months.

I'm sure being part of the Hogan era WCW locker room gave him a special insight as to how quickly a poisonous locker room can kill a promotion

16-bit Butt-Head
Dec 25, 2014
wrestling ruins everyone involved it rules lol

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Smugworth Wuz Here

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

wrestling ruins everyone involved it rules lol

I mean, surely someone has gotten out with both their money and their health. Surely.

Silly Newbie
Jul 25, 2007
How do I?

Literally A Person posted:

I mean, surely someone has gotten out with both their money and their health. Surely.

Dwayne Johnson.
There's not a lot more though.

Supreme Allah
Oct 6, 2004

everybody relax, i'm here
Nap Ghost
its stupid to go off script on a scripted show when you clearly cant pull it off,

its stupid to respond to that by going even more off script and ranting like a lunatic with the owner of the business sitting next to you,

its stupid to gather your friends and go confront that person who is obviously pissed off and looking for a fight, and then pretend to be surprised that a fight breaks out,

its stupid to expect two emotional garbage idiots who hate each other to trust each other in a fake fight where real poo poo goes wrong in them all the time

its all stupid, wrestling is stupid,


If i was ranking them though I think trying to sell the confrontation as a good idea with good intentions is the stupidest - come loving on. 'hey guys hes really pissed off so lets gather everyone hes mad at and go to his locker room and oh god hes hitting me ow but whyy'

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


Supreme Allah posted:

If i was ranking them though I think trying to sell the confrontation as a good idea with good intentions is the stupidest - come loving on. 'hey guys hes really pissed off so lets gather everyone hes mad at and go to his locker room and oh god hes hitting me ow but whyy'

I would agree, but they saw it as a strong possibility going in, hence bringing along the Chief Legal Officer. They outright goaded Punk into loving himself over by doing that. Outside of being off TV for a couple months, it worked out pretty well for them in the end.

Prof. Crocodile
Jun 27, 2020

Sounds like it's going to work out pretty well for Punk, too. He doesn't have to risk breaking any more body parts, he got to rant about people he hates on a big stage, and the contract buyout will keep him in artisanal muffins and non-alcoholic beer for the rest of his life.

I'm still worried about the dog, though.

X JAKK
Sep 1, 2000

We eat the pig then together we BURN
Why hasnt Kevin Nash returned as Super Shredder yet?

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Smugworth Wuz Here

X JAKK posted:

Why hasnt Kevin Nash returned as Super Shredder yet?

Ooo. Don't know how to tell you this....

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Smugworth Wuz Here
Anyone else read Ken Shamrock's book? Looking for another good wrasslin' autobiography and heard it has some good stories in it. Any goons have thoughts??

Bonzo
Mar 11, 2004

Just like Mama used to make it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poNpqNpsCJQ

MakaVillian
Aug 16, 2003

Well, in Whoville they say - that his tiny hands grew three sizes that day.

Mean Gene was a goddamn artist

X JAKK
Sep 1, 2000

We eat the pig then together we BURN

Literally A Person posted:

Ooo. Don't know how to tell you this....

Oh no, did his spine finally curl up out through his back flesh and spin around like a tuxedo bib in a Bugs Bunny cartoon?

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Smugworth Wuz Here

X JAKK posted:

Oh no, did his spine finally curl up out through his back flesh and spin around like a tuxedo bib in a Bugs Bunny cartoon?

Yes.

Regrettable
Jan 5, 2010



X JAKK posted:

Oh no, did his spine finally curl up out through his back flesh and spin around like a tuxedo bib in a Bugs Bunny cartoon?

Probably. Also his son just died two weeks ago. He was only 26 :(

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

Regrettable posted:

Probably. Also his son just died two weeks ago. He was only 26 :(

drat
r.i.p. Big Son Cool

Elephant Ambush
Nov 13, 2012

...We sholde spenden more time together. What sayest thou?
Nap Ghost
Pro Wrestling loving Owns

https://twitter.com/imsomunny/status/1590781549871435777?s=20&t=OWm37X8-VfEwraDfZ0TTMA

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


We got another AEW PPV coming up this Saturday with Full Gear. Some throwaway matches and pre-show stuff will surely be added in the next few days, but here's the matches so far:

JON MOXLEY (C) VS. MJF

AEW World Championship


After having a nasty near-falling out with Tony Khan in what seemed to be a real situation that was smoothed over and became a work, MJF made his big return at All Out. He was scheduled to be the final entry in the Casino Ladder Match where the winner would earn an automatic title shot. Prior to his entry, a group known as the Firm, led by MJF’s longtime friend Stokely Hathaway cleared the ring, climbed the ladder, and retrieved the giant poker chip for him. They handed the chip to MJF and he won for doing nothing.

He did this while wearing a devil mask and at the end of the show, he revealed his identity to new champion CM Punk. Punk then deep-sixed his career and has not been on TV since. He’s probably done with AEW. So they did a big tournament to crown a new champion and once again, Jon Moxley came out of it with the belt.

MJF had the Firm as his stable on retainer, helping him out whenever he needed it. But then one day, he beat Wheeler Yuta and Yuta offered his hand in respect. MJF strongly considered returning the gesture, but then the Firm attacked Yuta. MJF was annoyed at that and it made him question his actions.

MJF confronted Moxley’s manager William Regal over their history where Regal made it seem like MJF had all the potential in the world, only to poo poo on his skill sometime later. This had been bothering MJF for years, but Regal acted like that was the point to motivate MJF. Regal suggested that MJF needed to do things the right way, villain or not, for his victories to have meaning. This got to MJF and made him decide that his title shot was not going to be an impromptu Money in the Bank-style swerve against a hurt Moxley. Instead, they were going to face off at Full Gear.

Stokely wasn’t happy with MJF’s behavior in all of this and had the Firm put him through a table, keeping him off TV for a few weeks. MJF eventually returned and saved Moxley from a beating from the group. The two had some words and we’re left with questions. Is MJF really going to fight with some semblance of honor? Are the Firm really his enemies? Will William Regal remain in Moxley’s corner?

THE ACCLAIMED (C) VS. SWERVE IN OUR GLORY

AEW World Tag Team Championship


Back at All Out, tag champs Swerve in Our Glory defeated popular challengers the Acclaimed. Holy poo poo, were the Acclaimed popular. The crowd absolutely wanted a title change. It didn’t take long for a rematch to happen, this time at the Grand Slam event. The Acclaimed won to massive cheers.

Swerve Strickland, the sketchier of the former champs, did not take this well. He has been antagonistic to the Acclaimed to the point that he kidnapped their manager Billy Gunn and brutally messed up his hand. Keith Lee was against these actions, but Swerve’s good friend Rick Ross (yes, really) convinced him to settle down by yelling “ACCUSATIONS!” at him a couple times. Somehow this convinced Keith Lee to fall in line.

The Acclaimed are ready to retain their titles and get revenge for Billy. Prior to the show, they released a rap video about the upcoming match, featuring a cameo by a laughing Captain Insano.

TONI STORM (C) VS. JAMIE HAYTER

AEW Interim Women’s World Championship


Back at All Out, we were supposed to have Thunder Rosa defending the women’s title against her tag partner Toni Storm. Instead, Thunder Rosa had to step back due to an injury that may or may not be a real thing. So they had a four-way match for the Interim Championship. Toni Storm won the match, though a big part of the story was that Jamie Hayter almost won, only for her teammate Britt Baker preventing it at the last second.

Things smoothed over between Britt and Jamie (for now), and later Jamie ended up becoming #1 contender. The big background they’re trying to push is that Toni Storm and Jamie Hayter were once roommates and close friends who grew apart in the wrestling industry. It’s better than nothing!

JADE CARGILL (C) VS. NYLA ROSE

TBS Championship


Jade Cargill is still undefeated, but since she won a triple threat match against Nyla Rose a long time back (without pinning Nyla), she has been reluctant to accept her challenge for a one-on-one match. Nyla Rose was annoyed by this, so she jumped Jade and stole the TBS Championship. For weeks, she has been acting like it’s her title and has even been doing open challenges for it.

Jade has been frustrated with the lack of backstage help in getting her title back. When she tried to strike in the ring during an episode of Rampage, Nyla showed up on the big screen to reveal that she had stolen Jade’s car. Jade’s finally given in and will take on Nyla to get her property back.

WARDLOW (C) VS. SAMOA JOE VS. POWERHOUSE HOBBS

TNT Championship


TNT Champion Wardlow and ROH TV Champion Samoa Joe became allies and worked together against the Embassy under the name WarJoe. Though successful, they weren’t too buddy-buddy. Joe seemed to be side-eying Wardlow every now and then.

In the meantime, Powerhouse Will Hobbs showed up a few times to aid the Embassy and make it known that he was targeting Wardlow and his TNT title. This got to Wardlow, who cut a promo on Powerhouse while Joe loomed in the background. Wardlow made mention his intent to win all of the titles in AEW. Since Joe has a title (ROH, but still), he saw that as a threat and attacked Wardlow.

Now all three are on a collision course.

DEATH TRIANGLE (C) VS. THE ELITE

AEW Trios Championship


At All Out, the team of Kenny Omega and the Young Bucks won the tournament to crown the inaugural Trios Champions. Then...stuff happened backstage and they all got suspended. On the next episode of Dynamite, a pre-signed match of Death Triangle vs. Best Friends suddenly became a title match. Death Triangle won and became the new champs. From there, they continued to retain the titles.

In the last few weeks, cryptic videos would appear on Dynamite, showing Kenny and the Bucks fading out of old footage, along with the “Elite” in “All Elite Wrestling.” One such video showed that Death Triangle were only champions because the Elite were taken off the table. Pac had finally had enough and demanded a match at Full Gear. Now we know that the Elite are officially coming back at the PPV.

Oh and also, Pac has recently been obsessed with cheating to win matches by hitting people with ring bell hammers. Fenix and Penta so far have not been agreeable to this.

CHRIS JERICHO (C) VS. BRYAN DANIELSON VS. CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI VS. SAMMY GUEVARA

ROH World Championship


The Jericho Appreciation Society and the Blackpool Combat Club have been feuding for much of the year. Among all the violence, Chris Jericho was able to win the ROH World Championship off of Claudio Castagnoli. The “sports entertainer” has then been adamant about beating as many former ROH champs as possible to prove his superiority. This has included Bryan Danielson.

With Jericho’s well of challengers starting to run dry, he has offered a four-way title match against Danielson and Claudio, as well as Jericho’s teammate and longtime protégé Sammy Guevara. The four men did preview the match with a tag bout, which ended with Claudio taking out Jericho.

ETHAN PAGE VS. ??? (PROBABLY RICKY STARKS)

Tournament Finals for #1 Contender Shot


Full Gear tends to host the finals for an annual tournament to crown a new #1 contender. Previous winners include Kenny Omega and Bryan Danielson. This time around, the two most vocal members of the roster are Ethan Page of the Firm and Ricky Starks. Each one feels like they haven’t been able to soar despite their talents and need to win in order to earn their way to the top.

While Ethan Page has taken out Eddie Kingston and Bandido, the other side of the bracket is a bit of a mess. We were supposed to get Lance Archer vs. Ricky Starks, but Archer attacked Ricky backstage and he was in no condition to compete. That match will take place on Rampage, the night before the PPV. Problem is, Brian Cage is supposed to face the winner. What does this mean when Cage’s tournament opponent is being figured out the night before the finals is supposed to take place?

LUCHASAURUS VS. JUNGLE BOY JACK PERRY

Cage Match


The Lucha Express was a successful group that had Christian Cage mentoring Luchasaurus and Jungle Boy. Christian ended up betraying Jungle Boy over beating him in a battle royal from over a year earlier. Then he started badmouthing Jack’s dead dad Luke Perry. Also, Christian started hitting on Jack’s mother.

They had a match at All Out. Since Christian was actually injured and could not truly compete, they covered by having Luchasaurus attack Jungle Boy and annihilate him so badly that Christian was able to win with ease.

Jungle Boy has continued to be screwed over by his former friends. Frustrated that Christian isn’t allowed to compete, Jungle Boy chooses to settle things with Luchasaurus in a steel cage.

DR. BRITT BAKER DMD VS. SARAYA

When WWE started to treat the women’s division as something other than a total joke, one of the top reasons was Paige. After she trailblazed through NXT, she joined the main roster and helped make something out of the Women’s Revolution. Unfortunately, her career lasted only so long due to a nasty neck injury. WWE refused to ever clear her and while she was able to show up on TV now and then, it seemed like her wrestling days were behind her.

Then she appeared at Grand Slam as Saraya. She has been quick to get into things with Britt Baker, the face of the AEW women’s division. Saraya has been cleared to return to the ring and in the lead-up to the match, she has been badmouthing Britt’s experience. Some consider it belittling to the AEW women’s roster, but Britt (who is still the heel) has fired back with a passionate promo about how she helped carry the company during the pandemic, which means more than getting to perform at MSG.

JEFF JARRETT AND JAY LETHAL VS. STING AND DARBY ALLIN

Jay Lethal has had a problem with Darby Allin recently and started making it personal. He said that he had a friend who had the inside track on Darby and knew all his biggest weaknesses. After all the lead-up, the mystery man ended up being...Jeff Jarrett. Ugh. Jarrett claimed that Darby’s friendship with Sting was his weakness or something.

Anyway, we’re getting a tag match out of it. Also, Jarrett works backstage at AEW now. Jesus, Tony...

In other news, we’re supposed to get a major update on the AEW Fight Forever game at the PPV!

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013

Gavok posted:

Things smoothed over between Britt and Jamie (for now), and later Jamie ended up becoming #1 contender. The big background they’re trying to push is that Toni Storm and Jamie Hayter were once roommates and close friends who grew apart in the wrestling industry. It’s better than nothing!

Me every time they mention that

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-P0m0M_8pc

Prof. Crocodile
Jun 27, 2020

does the tbs championship belt have like a big gold andy griffith face on it or something?

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


Prof. Crocodile posted:

does the tbs championship belt have like a big gold andy griffith face on it or something?

No, but wrestling fans have noticed that the tbs logo sort of looks like it says "hos."

Infidel Castro
Jun 8, 2010

Again and again
Your face reminds me of a bleak future
Despite the absence of hope
I give you this sacrifice




I'm holding on to hope that we get a Kingston vs Akiyama singles match on the pre-show Saturday.

Prof. Crocodile
Jun 27, 2020

Gavok posted:

No, but wrestling fans have noticed that the tbs logo sort of looks like it says "hos."

that's even better, honestly.

Elephant Ambush
Nov 13, 2012

...We sholde spenden more time together. What sayest thou?
Nap Ghost
lmbo

https://twitter.com/WrestlingNewsCo/status/1593832899526148098?s=20&t=of1j8r7oLC5SPPtZ8p6iRA

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Smugworth Wuz Here
Sting is old af

FullLeatherJacket
Dec 30, 2004

Chiunque può essere Luther Blissett, semplicemente adottando il nome Luther Blissett

sting was born in tyool 1959

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003

LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ♥(‘∀’●)

FullLeatherJacket posted:

sting was born in tyool 1959

Sting is a year older than my parents lmbo

FilthyImp
Sep 30, 2002

Anime Deviant
It's kind of amazing how Sting reinvented himself by being Dollar Store The Crow, and even more amazing that he never got sued?

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.

MrQwerty posted:

Sting is a year older than my parents lmbo

Was gonna fuckin say, lol

Boomers will literally die in the spotlight

Brazilianpeanutwar
Aug 27, 2015

Spent my walletfull, on a jpeg, desolate, will croberts make a whale of me yet?

Bonzo posted:

Who plays Vince if they made a movie about his life?

Vince portrayed by a stop motion monstrosity made of cheap melting plasticine and blow up ballons (and muscles made of sausages and old leather).

Crowetron
Apr 29, 2009

FilthyImp posted:

It's kind of amazing how Sting reinvented himself by being Dollar Store The Crow, and even more amazing that he never got sued?

Clearly Miramax saw his new gimmick reveal and decided "Yeah, that's cool as hell, actually."

Elephant Ambush
Nov 13, 2012

...We sholde spenden more time together. What sayest thou?
Nap Ghost

FilthyImp posted:

It's kind of amazing how Sting reinvented himself by being Dollar Store The Crow, and even more amazing that he never got sued?

Not only that but now he's doing crazy poo poo in AEW like balcony dives and putting people through tables

https://twitter.com/RGT_85/status/1516963187173826562?t=mUEo39pZsMv8d0scBT_TpA&s=19

rndmnmbr
Jul 3, 2012

Nothing will ever top Sting in the rafters, holding a goddamn vulture, giving Hogan a death glare. That's the defining Sting moment forever in my head.

Elephant Ambush posted:

Not only that but now he's doing crazy poo poo in AEW like balcony dives and putting people through tables

AEW has been good to a lot of the old guys. Sting is slower with age, but still on top of his game. Jericho has noticeably lost a lot of flab. Dustin is putting on some of the best matches of his career, the rare times he does take the ring.

rndmnmbr fucked around with this message at 00:27 on Nov 20, 2022

Queering Wheel
Jun 18, 2011


The best Sting moment is when he was disguised as Sting and took off his mask to reveal Sting

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Smugworth Wuz Here

Queering Wheel posted:

The best Sting moment is when he was disguised as Sting and took off his mask to reveal Sting

SOMEONE POST THE GIF

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003

LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ♥(‘∀’●)

Literally A Person posted:

SOMEONE POST THE GIF

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Foxfire_
Nov 8, 2010

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