Remulak posted:

Before reading on this SCREAMS of gender-swapped rage bait. I’ve seen women, generally smaller and with culturally less clothing, being colder than men about a zillion times but never the reverse. Similarly I’ve never seen a woman be a jerk about controlling the thermostat, but it seems to be a standard rear end in a top hat man trait.

MK-Ultramarathon posted:

AITA for wanting a performer to change inappropriate lyrics?

the second couplet assumes that mistletoe cannot be enjoyed by three, or more

InediblePenguin posted:

others have pointed out that it is in fact possible for women to be warmer than men
i'd like to point out as an additional aside that while you blamed it on size and clothes there's also a very physical/physiological reason. when i started taking testosterone i went from running cold to running warm without changing anything else including the clothing i was wearing daily. probably related to the hot flashes of menopause. something about an estrogen-based system runs colder than a non-estrogen-rich system for whatever reason apparently.

edit: motherfuck. i apologize for starting the page so banally.

Involuntary Sparkle posted:

I've always run really, really warm and I'm a cis woman. Not menopausal yet. I'm too warm in offices, conferences, airports and airplanes. I don't have air conditioning at home (Seattle) but I keep the heat at 58F most of the year and my preferred temperature indoors is no more than 64F. I have my thyroid checked regularly, too.

I really feel for that woman because I honestly have very little sympathy for anyone who feels cold indoors - you can always put more clothes/blankets on but you get to a point where you can't take more off. I'd say the woman is NTA.

quote:

I decided to keep my pregnancy to myself because I don’t know what I’m going to do about it and I knew my fiancé wasn’t going to be happy with the news. My future sister-in-law/best friend is the only other person who knew as I only took the test at her suggestion and at her house. She also agreed that her brother was unlikely to be happy about it but she felt like I should tell him immediately anyway.

We kept arguing over it because I told her I needed time to process it and she felt like I was making excuses to avoid telling him. In the end, she told him herself while we were having dinner with their family. He was so upset he confronted me in front of everybody so now they all know and everybody is upset with me for keeping it from him.

His sister kept trying to reach out and apologise after it happened but I was ignoring her as her only excuse was that he was her brother so she couldn’t keep it from him and that she gave me 3 weeks to tell him myself. The last time she called me I was so upset that I answered and yelled at her. In the heat of the moment, I uninvited her from the wedding and told her I would find a new bridesmaid.

I’ve given my fiancé and his family another reason to be upset with me but I’ve refused to let her come to the wedding even as a regular guest despite them asking me to and it being important to them for her to attend.

AITA?

quote:

Please explain why y’all are getting married if you can’t even tell him you’re pregnant?

quote:

My fiance (41) is divorced, he shares custody of his 11yo & 7yo with his ex wife.

We've planned a vacation to a resort and I took care of all reservations and payment but first I had to make absolutely sure he was free on that date (3 days vacation). He gave me the Ok to go ahead and proceed with booking.

2 days before the vacation, his ex called him asking if he'd have the kids after she got into an accident and broke her leg. He took them immediately for the weekend. As soon as I saw them I lost my temper on him. He said it was okay and that he'd either take them with us or postpone. I had a huge argument with him and he said that I was ruining the vacation by this reaction but I told him that he ruined the vacation the minute he took the kids off his ex. I ended up going to stay with my friend after that. He's upset with my reaction saying I'm judging him by his circumstance and making him feel bad for wanting to make sure his kids were taken care of.

Edit, look this isn't the first time, he's done this before and caused me to cancel a lot and cost me money and time (off work) as well.

quote:

I (28F) and my husband (31M) adopted the most amazing girl Mia (7) 10 months ago. Mia has been through a lot and struggles a bit with her behavior. We have been very patient with her and take her to therapy, sometimes she wants us there and sometimes she wants to be alone. The things she says when we are there are awful so I can't imagine what she talks about alone. She has improved so much since we first met and I'm so proud of her.

My sister Amy (24f) has 2 boys, Bailey (4) and Luke (6). Mia plays with Luke whenever we visit and they usually get along great, But Luke has behavior problems as well due to my sisters parenting. She shouts all the time and gives him whatever he wants so he's spoiled. When he has a tantrum this triggers Mia and I have to calm her but Amy shouts at Luke which makes Mia unconsolable and we have to leave.

We were due to go to Amy's today but she text me this morning to "leave the child behind". I called and she said she can't deal with Mia's tantrums and she's a 'bad influence' on her boys. We argued and Amy said the line "I will never treat her like real family because she's not blood, shes not even the same race as us". I hung up immediately. I have never in my life felt rage like I did. She is my daughter blood or not. I texted Amy to never talk to me again and blocked her.

Here's where I'm likely TA. I have a big family and had a lot of them contact me over this. some on my side but most on Amy's. making the same point that "real family is by blood". I decided to expose some family secrets to each of them, (cheating, lying, stealing) etc. And said "if this is how REAL family treats each other count me out". It's caused so much drama and now my whole family is melting down and everyone is mad at me. the anger hasn't worn off but I do feel bad for causing all this over a comment A made. AITA?

TLDR: my sister said my adopted daughter isn't real family. Most of my family agreed so in anger I exposed their secrets to make a point. It's caused a lot of issues and I'm 100% to blame.

Edit: names

quote:

I started doing it after about the 5th call. I exposed family to each other A was included. Examples; I told my cousin that A stole her expensive necklace and sold it for cash last Christmas. I told my aunt that her sister slept with her boyfriend (I only know this because A found out and told me). I told my uncle that my cousin was the one who stole and crashed his car. I only told secrets about people who were getting involved I didn't drag anyone else into it. I told it to them directly over the phone when they called/text.

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for exposing family secrets after they said my adopted daughter isn't family?

Foo Diddley posted:

OP shot down an entire squadron of flying monkeys, god drat. she should paint little silhouettes on her phone

quote:

I (35M) was one of those kids that knew exactly what I wanted to do when I grew up. In order to remain anonymous, I'll simply say I've always dreamed of doing job X at company Y. My whole career has been based on getting this job and working for this company. So needless to say when I finally got an interview with company Y I was ecstatic.

After a very lengthy interview process, I received a phone call yesterday letting me know that I had gotten the job. I was so excited. I immediately called my parents, who were so proud of me. My dad suggested that we go out for dinner to celebrate at our family's special occasion restaurant. They wanted to take me and my sister Megan (33F) out to celebrate the achievement. I was riding on cloud nine.

I called my sister to tell her the news and the dinner plans. She congratulated me, but told me that she wouldn't be able to come. My mood immediately dropped, and I asked her why not. She told me that she had plans already with her (deceased) husband Miguel's family.

I explained to her that this was a serious achievement that had taken a lifetime of work, and that I had finally achieved my dream. I told her that I needed her there to celebrate with me. She congratulated me again, but told me that this was a very important family celebration and she simply could not miss it.

For context: Megan and Miguel were married for a few months before he passed. It was really tragic, and she has my deepest sympathies. I understand how important he was to her, although I don't exactly agree with how she's handled his death. I understand her sorrow and sadness, but don't agree that she should be missing out on celebrating my achievements because her husband passed. She can (and does) mourn any other day of the year, but this is a once in a lifetime achievement. I got my dream job and she of all people should know how much that means to me.

This is the part where I may be a bit of an rear end in a top hat. I called her out and said that missing out on her actual families celebrations to celebrate her husband's death with his family is a dick move. I told her that she couldn't spend the rest of her life obsessing over Miguel, and that at some point she needed to move on. Her obsession with him was ruining our relationship, and once again re-iterated that I needed her to be there with me tonight.

She actually laughed at me and said that "of course she was obsessed with him". She said a few other hurtful things, before she hung up the phone.

My parents and I ended up going out for dinner just the three of us. Today my sister texted me and said we could go for dinner this weekend if I apologize for acting like such an rear end. But I honestly don't think I should have to when she missed out on my thing. She also said some hurtful things, and doesn't seem to think she's in the wrong at all. So I want to know, AITA?

ETA: A lot of people are bringing up "Day of the Dead". This is honestly something I had never heard of before, so I don't feel like I can be judged for not knowing that.

SulfurMonoxideCute posted:

I saw a TikTok where a guy was handing out canned soup and beans instead of candy, and the kids were stoked. Kids love weird and silly things. I know if I were a kid and got the option to take a potato, I'd take that potato so fast. It's hilarious and creates a core memory. I'd tell the tale of the halloween potato with a smile on my face until the day I died.

The Glumslinger posted:

I had glow sticks and stickers in the bowl along with candy and kids were excited for them.

Metaline posted:

My sister-in-law collects spooky kids books from thrift stores all year and let kids pick one out along with candy. Kids LOVE it.

quote:

This is a dumb argument but it’s been bugging me. So I (20f) decided to get up one morning and make my bf (23m) breakfast bc he was very sleepy and I was hungry. I made eggs, toast, and coffee while he slept and brought it to him in bed. He thanked me and then asked me if I could get him jam from the kitchen for his toast. This kind of annoyed me bc I did literally everything else, so I told him he could get his own jam. We argued about this for a little until we decided to just leave it and eat our food. After we finished, I brought our dishes to the kitchen. I asked him if I should throw away the piece of toast he left on his plate, and he said “yes if I wasn’t going to get him jam.” So I threw it away. He then got mad at me saying that I could’ve just gotten the jam since I was in the kitchen and that I make our relationship too transactional. AITA?

Edit: I probably should’ve mentioned we eat all our meals in bed because my brother lives in the living room (small apartment) and I don’t have a dining room table.

Booky posted:

a potato halloween does sound pretty fun... i had imagined a baked potato at first, tho

Batterypowered7 posted:

Clearly they meant mayochelada, which I imagine must be when you add mayo to a michelada.

axolotl farmer posted:

Barudak posted:

Ah, a cummy mary

DAD LOST MY IPOD posted:

My parents live in an area where they get 400+ trick or treaters. They usually have a big cauldron of candy and a platter of glow sticks. I used to think “no self respecting child is going to pick a glow stick over a piece of candy.”

I was utterly wrong. The glow sticks were all gone IMMEDIATELY.

Electric Wrigglies posted:

I grew up sweet deprived (birthdays and especially Christmas excepted where it could take weeks to eat through the haul afterwards) and I can't imagine passing up on a glow stick just for some candy. As a child or now.

quote:

It's a bit of a complicated situation, I'm not sure wether I should speak up or not.

My wife's brother and his wife have an 8 months old baby. He's been mostly fed with formula as my BIL's wife was unable to breastfeed due to health issues. My wife has always been criticizing them for "giving up on natural milk" and depriving their baby from the benefits of it by going with formula. They've had countless arguments about it and my wife and MIL still think they're in the right.

The real problem was when I discovered that my wife's been breastfeeding their son (her nephew) whenever they drop him over before they go to dr appointments or run tests. My wife and I have a 10 months old son but I didn't know she's been secretly breastfeeding her nephew til I walked in on her doing it.

I confronted her on it and she said she was trying to give back to her nephew all the benefits his parents took away from him after thry replaced breastfeeding with formula. I told her this was violating and that I would tell them immediately. She got mad and said I wouldn't dare. Matter of fact, she said that she's doing them a favor by feeding their son and trying to regain his strength and prevent future health issues due to lack of mother's milk. We yelled at each other and I told her again that I would tell them. She started begging me saying she's just trying to help and that she has her nephew's best interest st heart. She said if I tell them they won't ever let her see him so there's a lot at stake here.

ETA: Her brother and his wife had already brought formula for my wife to use so the whole excuse about the baby not getting fed is unreasonable.

quote:

My husband was told three months ago that his father, who he was estranged from, and his father's wife, had passed away in an accident and he had been listed as the person to become guardian to their two young children. My husband had no idea his father had done this. He never actually met those children. He was estranged from his father by the time the older of the two was born, though he did know the older child existed.

My husband told the person who called that he was not willing to become their guardian. The person understood and what ended up happening is my husband's aunt took the kids. This is his father's sister.

She wants my husband to take them still. She has reached out countless times to convince him to meet the kids and form a relationship and see if he could build up to wanting them. He has no interest in this. After my husband blocked her and stopped responding completely, she decided to show up at the house while I was working. She told me we needed to talk and proceeded to tell me I could decide we are taking them and I could be the person to make the first step. She told me they were just as much my responsibility, as my ILs, as they are my husband's, and that they are children who are orphaned and don't need the family history being the reason they never know their brother.

The family history is my husband's mother died when he was 17. His father was having an affair while she was sick. The affair partner became his wife. My husband never forgave him and left before he turned 18 and before their oldest child could be born.

I told the aunt I had no responsibility to raise the kids, that I was not going to raise them if my husband wasn't interested. I told her if SHE doesn't want them she should say so, but she should not try to force them into a home where they are unwanted and unloved. I told her it's tragic for the kids but they are not my children. She called me heartless and told me that as a woman I should be ashamed to be married to someone who would discard flesh and blood children over the actions of adults. I made her leave.

I had to then block her on my work phone because she attempted to reach me there to tell me once again that I am this bad person.

AITA?

Barudak posted:

Ah, a cummy mary

quote:

I (27M) have been with my boyfriend (25M) since I was 17 and he was 16. Since I met him he's loved to cook and bake. Since we were both broke teens saving for uni, at all of our early anniversaries he used to cook dinner for us and bake dessert.

When we got a house together last year one of the things he really wanted was a big kitchen. And that became one of our non negotiable while house hunting.

Also he's really close with his dad. His dad was the one who taught him how to cook.

Over the past 9 months his dad has gotten pretty ill and he's been going to see him often, and one of the things they decided to do was to cook every dish they knew (over the course of months) takes pictures of each dish with one of those polaroid/instax style cameras and make a recipe book.

Most of these were just generic dishes they made together, some with personal twists, but a few of them were dishes either his dad had made up or that they had made up together. His dad also wrote personal notes to my bf on each of the photos.

Needless to say this recipe book is very important to him, and became even more special when his dad passed last month.

When this happened I was ready to give him time to grieve, start picking up more chores and take over cooking, thinking he would want a break. But instead he started cooking and baking like crazy, he ended up cooking almost every recipe. I guess it was just his way of mourning his father.

Over the past week he's been getting better, talking about his feelings more and such.

Yesterday my brother, his wife, their two children (3F, 5F) and his MIL came over and my boyfriend had made lunch and dessert.

My brother’s kids loved it. So my SIL asked what it was called, my bf explained that they were unique recipes that belonged to his dad and then my SIL asked if she could have them. My bf said no, but that he was willing to make the dishes for her kids regularly. Her mother then chimed in and told my bf that that wouldn't do and that he shouldn't be selfish and share the recipes with the children.

My bf clearly got uncomfortable so i got in between them and told them if they are going to be disrespectful to him then he will have to leave. They started saying I was being over dramatic and that they were just recipes. I told them that they had sentimental meaning and that if he didn't want to give them to them he didn't have to.

They left with a huff. I later got a text from my brother asking what happened because what his wife and MIL were telling him didn't add up. I told him and he apologised for their action. However i got some messages from my SIL saying how her kids won't eat their food anymore and only want to eat the recipes and how I'm being cruel and starving two young children.

I've just ignored them, but I have something gnawing at me telling me that I should have handled it differently and that I'm TA. so AITA?

EDIT: a comment that i made that ive been told adds extra info so thought i shoudl add here



We've eaten around her place a few times, and while I've never said it to her face, its bad. we are from the uk, and there are historical reasons a lot of people don't use spices, she is 100% the stereotype. she watches my bf make a regular tomato pasta once and was baffled by the fact he added to and seasoned the passata.

her food is bland and at best she will add some salt and pepper. also in general she doesn't really cook. what she calls cooking is putting frozen food or ready meals in the oven or microwave and she will just order out most nights.

i put in my response to the bot but left it out of my post due to character limit. but both of my nieces have food sensory issues and she almost refuses to find ways around it, sometimes making them eat what she cooked which is why she was so excited that they like my bf's food.

since while not as severe as my nieces, my bf also has some issues with food textures, so the entire book are safe textures and foods he likes which is also why i think she wants the recipes so bad, i think shes assuming that since he has some food sensory issues that her kids will be fine with all of the recipes.

but this is literally the most effort shes ever put into this, my bf has even offered to help her find some simple meal ideas that her kids will like but she turned it down due to the hassle and effort.

my bf put spices or herbs in most things and i think this just comes from growing up around spices, bc despite not having a lot my boyfriend's dad always had a full spice rack, which he gave to him when he started getting ill. i love spices and seasonings in my food but i have no idea what goes with what as i just wasn't brought up in a household that used alot of spices.

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for wanting to tell my BIL and his wife that my wife breastfeeds their baby whenever they leave him with her?

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for refusing to give my SIL my bf’s recipes, causing her young children to go hungry?

quote:

I (15f) am receivinga punishment at school for telling another kid that I don't really care if my scars trigger them. I was attacked by a dog when I was 7 and now have scars on my arm and face, I used to cover up by wearing hoodies and masks because I was insacure. Recently I have started wearing less hoodies and more tank tops and t-shirts, but yesterday at school some rando at my school came up to me and told me "You should cover up, your scars really trigger me", I immediately got upset which I guess he could tell due to my facial expression, ( I guess I was smiling a lot because nobody seemed to care about my scars), I told him that I wasn't going to cover up just because my scars trigger him and if he doesn't want to see them then maybe not to look at me. He left but today I was called into the office, the principal said I would be receiving an in school suspension for this week due to "making your peers and staff uncomfortable with your physical appearance". I don't know if my principal is actually allowed to suspend me for this and I feel super insecure again... AITA for telling the kid I wasn't going to cover up?

Quick Edit!: I have told both my mom and my dad and they are pissed, they will be going to the school board in the morning, I will probably be posting an update tomorrow after my parents school board meeting

Edit 2: I got some advice to say everything I actually said to the kid, this is what I said to the best that I remember and I did apologize to the kid for my harsh language towards him, "What the gently caress-? No I'm not covering my scars because it triggers you, I really don't care if it triggers you. I mean, you literally have seen them multiple times in the past and it never triggered you then, don't be a loving liar." Again I apologized for calling him a liar and using such harsh language.

Reddit Comment posted:

1 week suspension, reason : ugly.

quote:

A few years ago I was going away to a conference so I asked my sister if she could watch my dogs while I was away. She said she would do it if I paid her. So I hired a service instead. Yes I could have paid her but it would have required me to go pick up her unemployed rear end from my parents'house and let her stay at my house eating my food and drinking my booze. The service came in fed and walked my dogs.

When I moved out of our parent's home my friends all helped me out. But not her, she was busy doing school work. But that she would take a break if I paid for her time. She was watching TV. When she moved in with her boyfriend, now husband, I helped her out. She never even bought pizza and beer.

She is an amateur photographer but pretty great to be honest. When I got married it was a small thing in my parent's back yard. To save money I did everything with friends and family. My aunt lent me her wedding dress and one of my friends made the cake. Everyone pitched in to decorate and set up and clean up. I asked if she could take the wedding pictures. She said only if I paid. So I got a bunch of disposable cameras and used those for the candid shots and paid a photographer for the ceremony and formals only.

I now make enough money that I can afford to make my life easier by just paying for whatever I need. And this is what I do now for most stuff. I still do favors for friends and they often return them.

My sister who wanted to get paid to sit in my house and watch tv so my dogs were okay ended up with a nice guy and getting married. She called me last week and asked if I could watch her kids so they could go on vacation. Her husband's parents got sick and ours moved to Florida. So I said I would if she paid me. She can afford it. But now it's all about how family helps each other out. I reminded her of all the times I asked her for help and she said I was being petty and vindictive.

She tried getting my parents on her side but they told her that she had set the ground rules for our relationship.

Now she is on social media trying to get her friends to make me feel guilty about not "helping family". I probably should not have responded but I did saying that her friends were also available to help her out for free. But I guess she burned a few bridges there too and some of them called her out for always wanting to be paid for a favor.

It's become a huge mess.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Doing idiosyncratic stuff for Halloween is fine, but giving out toothbrushes is literally a classic Halloween Grinch type bullshit.

For one, toothbrushes are cheap, the kids already have them.

(and if they don't, they have bigger problems)

Kurieg posted:

AITA for telling someone that idc about their tw?



AITA for telling my sister I will only watch her kids if she pays me.

I love it when they try to summon the flying monkeys and the Monkeys say "umm no actually they have a point."

quote:

So my wife has also been the sort of person who sees helping someone as being owed afterwards and will help on her terms. She now does this with pur toddler (3) when she asks for help its either I will do it after I have finished this drink or sending this WhatsApp, or if she does help she will say I will only help if you do this this and this for me. I told my wife helping our toddler shouldn't be conditional she needs to know of she asks for help we will be there and not conditional on something. My wife's response was simply I was being stupid and our toddler can do it herself or wait. Am I in the wrong.

Edit So firstly apologies for not being clear in advance I hope this example helps

So an example would be my child has recently toilet trained yesterday evening she went to my wife and asked for help to go to the toilet, she even said she couldn't hold it anymore and would pee her pants, my wife's response was I'm busy at the moment I Will finish this cup of coffee, my child insisted she would pee there and then so my wife said okay I will take you but then you have to leave mummy alone for the rest of the night...

Max posted:

He's not the rear end in a top hat but she is right that they will likely freak out and never let them see the kid again, or at least won't bring the kid around for a while because this is a big breech of trust. Our daughter had a lot of trouble with breastfeeding so we switched her over to formula pretty fast since we needed her to get nutrition some how. She's perfectly happy and healthy.

Kurieg posted:

AITA for telling someone that idc about their tw?



AITA for telling my sister I will only watch her kids if she pays me.

I love it when they try to summon the flying monkeys and the Monkeys say "umm no actually they have a point."

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

They should definitely never let them see the kid again because that is literally psychotic behavior.

Kurieg posted:

AITA for telling my wife helping our toddler shouldn't be conditional.

Kurieg posted:

AITA for telling my wife helping our toddler shouldn't be conditional.

Jesus christ.

e: Op deleted his account so maybe/hopefully this is fake but according to the comments the Kid is adopted.