Elon Musk: He only experiences Dunning-Krugerrand

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Elon Musk: He only experiences Dunning-Krugerrand

Should I step down as head of twitter This poll is closed.
Yes	420	4.43%
No	69	0.73%
Goku	9001	94.85%
Total:	9490 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

ChaseSP: Mar 25, 2013

pro starcraft loser posted:

Was there any mention of what they are going to update "verified" to because paying 8 bucks sure as poo poo isnt verifying anything.

"Oh yeah, I've got Twitter PRO"

Boost in algorithm and the amazing gift of HALVED twitter ads. So basically worthless trash.

# ? Nov 5, 2022 14:25

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 31, 2024 14:55

IBroughttheFunk: Sep 28, 2012

Oh looky here, a baldfaced lied from Captain McDipshit.

# ? Nov 5, 2022 14:36

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Well yeah the N word isn�t hate speech

# ? Nov 5, 2022 14:38

lllllllllllllllllll: Feb 28, 2010; Now the scene's lighting is perfect!

# ? Nov 5, 2022 14:44

kazil: Jul 24, 2005; Derpmph trial star reporter!

IBroughttheFunk posted:

Oh looky here, a baldfaced lied from Captain McDipshit.

I believe it's 100% true but only because they fired the team responsible to tracking hate speech

# ? Nov 5, 2022 14:51

Steadiman: Jan 31, 2006; Hey...what kind of party is this? there's no booze and only one hooker!

_{silly sevens}

IBroughttheFunk posted:

Oh looky here, a baldfaced lied from Captain McDipshit.

"at times" is working its rear end off in that sentence I think. Maybe he means when all the racists were having dinner

# ? Nov 5, 2022 14:54

crime weed: Nov 9, 2009

kazil posted:

I believe it's 100% true but only because they fired the team responsible to tracking hate speech

they fired a bit more than half the content moderation team yeah! along with the bot team!

# ? Nov 5, 2022 14:57

Waffle House: Oct 27, 2004; You follow the path
fitting into an infinite pattern.

Yours to manipulate, to destroy and rebuild.

Now, in the quantum moment
before the closure
when all become one.

One moment left.
One point of space and time.

I know who you are.

You are Destiny.

I hope Fired Twitter is writing the new Firebird platform as we speak lol

I don't think a noncompete would be enforced at all, by anyone

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:02

Boat Stuck: Apr 20, 2021; I tried to sneak through the canal, man! Can't make it, can't make it, the ship's stuck! Outta my way son! BOAT STUCK! BOAT STUCK!

Waffle House posted:

I hope Fired Twitter is writing the new Firebird platform as we speak lol

I don't think a noncompete would be enforced at all, by anyone

Noncompetes are illegal in California.

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:05

Waffle House: Oct 27, 2004; You follow the path
fitting into an infinite pattern.

Yours to manipulate, to destroy and rebuild.

Now, in the quantum moment
before the closure
when all become one.

One moment left.
One point of space and time.

I know who you are.

You are Destiny.

Boat Stuck posted:

Noncompetes are illegal in California.

👀🐣🕊🐋🐳

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:06

Xakura: Jan 10, 2019; A safety-conscious little mouse!

IBroughttheFunk posted:

Oh looky here, a baldfaced lied from Captain McDipshit.

Guess the "blackmail advertiser to remain with twitter" plan didn't work out

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:07

Waffle House: Oct 27, 2004; You follow the path
fitting into an infinite pattern.

Yours to manipulate, to destroy and rebuild.

Now, in the quantum moment
before the closure
when all become one.

One moment left.
One point of space and time.

I know who you are.

You are Destiny.

Haha there's nothing actually standing in the way of a better product, they could just do same but better and enjoy the positive infamy forever

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:07

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Xakura posted:

Guess the "blackmail advertiser to remain with twitter" plan didn't work out

There is still time!

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:11

Time_pants: Jun 25, 2012; Now sauntering to the ring, please welcome the lackadaisical style of the man who is always doing something...

Decon posted:

When posting conspiracy theories about an octogenarian that almost got murdered doesn't bring the money in, surely being a pouty child will.

But let's just cut to the chase, the dude's mentally about 14:

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1588391903636357122

Sorry if anyone here doesn't like to hear this, but small talk is fine. It's conversational footsie. You'll survive talking about traffic or the weather with your awkward coworker and, hell, y'all might even find out, I dunno, that you share a hobby or drive the same car, or whateverthefuck. Only literal teenagers insist that they won't use their vocal chords unless it's for something "deep and important".

Surely this man who can't stand people is the savior of humanity!

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:11

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

Xakura posted:

Guess the "blackmail advertiser to remain with twitter" plan didn't work out

How long before he declares himself a grand puppetmaster and that everyone was just 'owned'?

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:12

Doctor Butts: May 21, 2002

Can't wait to see the state of things after he tries cutting a billion dollars of operating costs from cloud/networking.

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:12

Klyith: Aug 3, 2007; GBS Pledge Week

Seth Pecksniff posted:

Got this batch; lemme know if I missed you

Several people pointed out that I haven't defined "dead", so here's what I'm thinking:

- Twitter suffers a catastrophic outage that nukes the entire site, or it's down for several days and people flee the platform and even if it comes back up it's a shell of its former self (short downtime doesn't count, say a day or less)

- there's a verifiable significant decrease in daily users (maybe > 50% loss?) YoY

- it's sold for pennies on the dollar to some hedge fund, or sold for spare parts

- its revenue decreases by a significant amount ( > 30%?)

Anything I might be missing?

I think anything involving Musk selling it / getting foreclosed on by the loans / being taken over by minority shareholders, etc. Even if we don't know the actual value of the transfer, anything where Musk is no longer the owner should count.

Like I can imagine he sells it to the Saudis and they overpay so he only loses 50% or something. That should still count. And then we can make a new thread about twitter being owned by someone even worse than Musk.

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:18

hopeandjoy: Nov 28, 2014

https://twitter.com/courtneymilan/status/1588891127088033793?s=46&t=ZV__qMpcsYDCHsAVIxgKHw

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:19

Sydney Bottocks: Oct 15, 2004

I'm torn between thinking Twitter is finished by Dec. 31 of this year; and thinking that, as long as enough sycophants and bootlickers keep massaging his ego via Twitter, Melon Musk will never shut it down

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:22

BIG FLUFFY DOG: Feb 16, 2011; On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

Barudak posted:

She was from France(?) so, presumably yes

France is like the most anime-crazy country outside of Asia so that�s particularly strange

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:22

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Sydney Bottocks posted:

I'm torn between thinking Twitter is finished by Dec. 31 of this year; and thinking that, as long as enough sycophants and bootlickers keep massaging his ego via Twitter, Melon Musk will never shut it down

No matter what happens said sycophants and bootlickers are absolutely going to claim Musk's new tenure is a win unless a truly monumental tipping point gets hit.

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:27

Omobono: Feb 19, 2013; That's it! No more hiding in tomato crates! It's time to show that idiota Germany how a real nation fights!

For pasta~! CHARGE!

Has BoerMan banned that account that was tweeting his private plane movements already?
Or NAFO accounts?

My understanding of the buyout is as follows, points marked with * are unfounded speculation:

_plane account pisses off our stable genius who wants it banned
_in a manic drunken bender he actually makes his 54.20 :420:

offer
*so he can ban the plane movement account
_twitter execs are not dumb and make that hilariously one-sided contract
_he signs that contract sight unseen
_he realizes one or two mornings later it's a terrible idea and tries to back out of the deal
_Delaware judge gets ready to ram the contract down his throat
_some months later, he talks to Putin and has his galaxy brain take about the war
_NAFO trolls him
_in another coke-fueled bender he backs out of the back out
*so he can ban NAFO
_Delaware judge raises her eyebrow and starts preparing the metaphorical torture implements
_Muskman realizes he's hosed and finally buys the bird

Speculations aside, did I get things right?
With the understanding that the small details could go on for three posts.

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:27

Jon Irenicus: Apr 23, 2008; YO ASSHOLE

Twitter imploding would set back the global anime / manga industry years in terms how they reach customers and fans. as a western degenerate literally everything I dip my toe into is what bubbled up via Twitter. this is so bizarre lol

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:28

Stoatbringer: Sep 15, 2004; naw, you love it you little ho-bot

"Turns out the spooky ghost was just Old Man Musk in a costume all the time! He found out that Twitter HQ was built on an abandoned silver mine and wanted to scare off all the staff so he could have all the treasure for himself!"
"And I would've got away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids!"

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:34

Brigadier Sockface: Apr 1, 2007

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

France is like the most anime-crazy country outside of Asia so that’s particularly strange

Italy

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:36

vaginite: Feb 8, 2006; Can't post for 5 hours!

IBroughttheFunk posted:

Oh looky here, a baldfaced lied from Captain McDipshit.

Despite the extensive use of the n-word in my replies, you�ll find that nobody is using the n-word in my replies.

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:37

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Omobono posted:

Has BoerMan banned that account that was tweeting his private plane movements already?

https://twitter.com/ElonJet/status/1588722122364526592

:patriot:

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:40

Lamech: Nov 20, 2001; Soiled Meat

If I bought a company, you'd never hear from me. I'd run the thing through a nebulous web C-suite suits and vice regional managers. I'd be a myth among the employees, and a joke in the media. "There's Lamech, drunk on his yacht in the Mediterranean again, look at him roll around with those models, and back to Tom with the weather," they'd say. I would handle zero public complaints, and there's no way I'd become the face of customer loving service. But I'm not an edgelord narcissist (that I know of)

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:40

DaveWoo: Aug 14, 2004; Fun Shoe

https://twitter.com/DianeSevenay/status/1588544517157765121

lol that this tweet got a warning, whatever happened to "comedy is now legal"?

Edit: guess warnings don't show up on embeds; click through to see the warning

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:40

Random Stranger: Nov 27, 2009

Seth Pecksniff posted:

How's this:

The person who picks the correct date of when Twitter dies (or closest to) gets a free av change/upgrade

I'll take submissions for the next week or so, unless Twitter folds before then and then uh... I guess no one wins?

I'll go with April 7, 2023. Realistically it'll just chug along for three or four years completely crippled, but I believe in Elon Musk's ability to destroy anything.

For the purpose of sold, we're going by the day of the announcement, not signing the papers, right? Because if you're not a complete idiot, that's the kind of thing that takes months to do your due diligence and make sure you've got financing that won't cripple you and things like that.

Edit: Looking at people's guesses, genuinely impressed that the groupthink has basically settled on a range of about five to seven months. We should all be financial analysts.

Random Stranger fucked around with this message at 15:47 on Nov 5, 2022

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:41

Stoatbringer: Sep 15, 2004; naw, you love it you little ho-bot

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:42

crime weed: Nov 9, 2009

someone take a screenshot of the SA post screenshotting the Reddit post screenshotting the twitter post & post it on tumblr please

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:46

kazil: Jul 24, 2005; Derpmph trial star reporter!

Lamech posted:

If I bought a company, you'd never hear from me. I'd run the thing through a nebulous web C-suite suits and vice regional managers. I'd be a myth among the employees, and a joke in the media. "There's Lamech, drunk on his yacht in the Mediterranean again, look at him roll around with those models, and back to Tom with the weather," they'd say. I would handle zero public complaints, and there's no way I'd become the face of customer loving service. But I'm not an edgelord narcissist (that I know of)

Yeah. Elon is dumb because he wants to be the owner and a user and that just doesn't work for a shitposting social media app

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:47

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

kazil posted:

Yeah. Elon is dumb because he wants to be the owner and a user and that just doesn't work for a shitposting social media app

Worse than that: he also wants to micromanage everyone and everything in between

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:49

Machai: Feb 21, 2013

pro starcraft loser posted:

Was there any mention of what they are going to update "verified" to because paying 8 bucks sure as poo poo isnt verifying anything.

"Oh yeah, I've got Twitter PRO"

Platinum

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:49

ChaseSP: Mar 25, 2013

Musk wished he could always be the center of attention on a monkey's paw and it granted his wish.

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:50

Waffle House: Oct 27, 2004; You follow the path
fitting into an infinite pattern.

Yours to manipulate, to destroy and rebuild.

Now, in the quantum moment
before the closure
when all become one.

One moment left.
One point of space and time.

I know who you are.

You are Destiny.

Stoatbringer posted:

https://twitter.com/ianbremmer/status/1588714014749904896?s=20&t=ywyOdO22tDV1QQwk0bc49w

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:51

Blarghalt: May 19, 2010

CharlestheHammer posted:

Well yeah the N word isn�t hate speech

they don't tell you this in racism school but if enough people say a slur it evolves like a pokemon

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:52

GABA ghoul: Oct 29, 2011

Hello, I'm Elon Musk, the founder of companies like Tesla, Twitter, SpaceX and that tunnel one

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:57

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 31, 2024 14:55

Stoatbringer: Sep 15, 2004; naw, you love it you little ho-bot

Years ago, back in the early days of computing, idiot bosses decided it would be a good idea to pay developers based on the number of lines of code they wrote.

All of a sudden everything would be written in the most long-winded, bloated manner possible with endless descriptive comments padding everything out.

code:

/**
 * Utility method to sum two numbers and return the result.
 * 
 * For other operations, please see subtractNumbers, multiplyNumbers and divideNumbers.
 *
 * @param A The first number to add
 * @param B The second number to add
 * @returns sum of A and B
 **/

public int addNumbers(int A,
                                          int B) {

  if (logger.isDebugEnabled())
  {
    logger.debug("Enter addNumbers with" + A + ", " + B);
  }

  // Super optimisation, don't bother adding if A is 0
  if (A == 0 && B != 0)
  {
     return B;
  }

  // More super optimisation, don't bother adding if B is 0
  if (A != 0 && B == 0)
  {
    return A;
  }

  // Redundant, but just in case
  if (A == 0 && B == 0)
  {
    return 0;
  }

  int sum;

  sum = A;

  sum = sum
                +
                 B;

  if (logger.isDebugEnabled())
  {
    logger.debug("Result of adding " + A + " " + B + " is " + sum);
  }

  if (logger.isDebugEnabled())
  {
    logger.debug("Exit addNumbers");
  }

}

# ? Nov 5, 2022 15:59

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