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Any parents of two or more kids feel like there are nights where they all share a single brain?
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Nov 10, 2022 05:16
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| # ? Jun 11, 2024 07:34 |
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I wonder at what age the kids will be too old for hugs. This morning I sent Daniel out to wait by the mailboxes for the school taxi and then he yells at me when I've gone backto the house that we forgot to hug. So I had to run back and give him a hug. He's 9 now. I kinda expected him to stop wanting stuff like that already.
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Nov 10, 2022 13:13
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Good-Natured Filth posted:Both kids were complaining about being hungry at bedtime, so I reheated the peas and carrots that they didn't eat at dinner. Motherfuckers ate twice the amount that were on their plates at dinner. Sounds like a signal for postponing dinner time by 30 minutes, to me. We have had to move ours back and forward depending on her age. His Divine Shadow posted:I wonder at what age the kids will be too old for hugs. I've heard ~10 - 12 from other parents. You'll notice when you call out "come and give me a hug" and his reply is "gently caress you"... I'm already dreading the day.
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Nov 10, 2022 14:58
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We’re staying at grandmas house so kiddo is in a pack and play. Last time we were here was a sleep nightmare. This time? I put him down and he cried, grandma peeked her head in the door and said “hey go to sleep” and he did. He wakes up this morning a little early but not too bad, and he sees us sleeping next to him and he doesn’t cry. He just chilled there in his pack and play and danced and waved at us. Amazing. I haven’t awoken to a non crying child in months.
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Nov 10, 2022 15:08
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Fyi if anyone has the mockingbird single to double stroller, there have been a few reports of the frame cracking so there's a voluntary recall where they're offering frame reinforcement kits for strollers in certain lots.
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Nov 10, 2022 15:23
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I'm wondering about David (the other twin) again. We had a yearly meeting with his teachers, the assistants and so on to discuss their progress, their challenges, their needs and lay the groundwork for the next 1.5 years. Overall David has more challenges in school than Daniel who is integrated into art & gymnastics with the larger class. The first 6-7 weeks back in school went super fine they said, but after that "honey moon" period he started having more trouble. The thing with David nowadays is he gets stuck on things, it can be small things but when it happens he can get stuck on that the next half hour and basically there's no further learning in that class, which further upsets him. Because he knows what happened and he feels bad about it, he wants to do well in school. He clearly doesn't want to get hung up on things, but he does anyway. He's very dependant on a schedule, he wants to know beforehand that today we will do this and this and so on (also very interested in time, dates and events in general). They also said he has demonstrated "stimming behaviour". It sounds like he's displaying several characteristics on the autism spectrum, but I wouldn't describe him as stereotypically autistic either, he is social and enjoys being with others, also not afraid of physical contact or loud noise (opposite) stuff like what I associate anyway with that. Would say he's an extrovert. The boys ergotherapist who has worked with them since preschool said that when David isn't bothered by these problems and hangups that he's very good at his work when things are "flowing". In fact before they started school David was the one doing better than his brother. That started changing as they started school and David developed these issues with getting hung up on things. Ended the metting on a more positive note though. He's actually ahead in reading comprehension, when he focuses, particularly recognizing whole words comes easier to him. This week he was all set up for a typical dissapointment scenario that would've ruined his lunch break typically. The school cafeteria served pesto, but David noticed they had forgotten the sun dried tomatoes (he really keeps track of details like that) and he told the kitchen lady and she realized that oh dear he was right, she had forgotten about it, nobody else in the school had commented. Now this kind of situation, where he was denied somehing he really looked forward to, well his assistant said she was expecting the worst and that he would cry through lunch and miss the break. But after explaining it was a mistake and the kitchen lady didn't mean for it to happen, he managed to shake it and told himself he was not gonna let this get him down and it worked! And kitchen lady found a jar of sun dried tomatoes in the kitchen and came out and gave him and his brother a plate each, so that really cheered him up. Seems to be gifted with languages, speaks three of them so far (swe, eng, viet) and am told he's doing well in learning finnish in class already. So so far we're not sure if he's on the spectrum or not. I dunno if you can be both social and on the spectrum, I always thought being on the spectrum always meant being shy/introverted to some degree. Well that's my rambling meandering post, I find it helps to organize my own thoughts. His Divine Shadow fucked around with this message at 12:05 on Nov 11, 2022 |
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Nov 11, 2022 11:38
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I can't speak for your son particularly, but in general it seems pretty common that a kid will function well in non-school settings, but be diagnosed with some kind of (mild) disorder after facing challenges in school. Maybe that's more common with ADHD than with autism spectrum though. We do tend to define "illness" as "whatever puts up an obstacle for functioning in their current environment".
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Nov 11, 2022 12:49
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Autism has a wide range of ways it presents. My toddler has a diagnosis and he has a strong desire to be social. It's definitely more difficult for him, but he is persistent in wanting to be around and interact with others. Exploring the possibility might help those classroom situations even if it's not ASD. Any info can help his teachers create a successful environment. For example, my kid's teachers give him advanced notice of any upcoming changes and more time to transition from one thing to the next so he can process it. And if he needs a break, he can go off and get some physical input by running around or crashing on pillows - rather than avoiding sensory input, he seeks it out. They recognize his stims as needs and respect that rather than discourage them.
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Nov 11, 2022 13:33
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David might just need to be challenged more. If he's got enough extra cycles to have a crisis about wether or not he's learning enough in class and if he's holding things up he might just be super bored. We moved to a new, sleepy town for my wife's job and I find myself picking at all sorts of things in my life like those sun dried tomatoes because I'm just bored out of my skull
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Nov 11, 2022 20:58
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Has anyone delt with thumb sucking? We went to a pediatric dentist a bit ago and he was all about stopping it immediately by applying Mavala to his nails. Which seems completely at odds with everything else I can find that indicates it is not a big deal until about 4yrs old when the mouth starts to set up and that most kids just kind of naturally stop around age 3 (he's only 2.5 now). Mavala also is only for 3+ according to the label. We're going to bring it up with our pediatrician for a second opinion.
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Nov 11, 2022 23:29
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It’s been 5 days of potty training and I’m not sure what to do because she just holds her pee and screams until there’s an accident. Then she feels bad about it but isn’t motivated to go to the potty next time because it’s another stressor. Yesterday some pee actually went in the toilet but today is just flat out refusal to do anything. She’s almost 3 but I feel like we need to just try again in a couple months
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Nov 11, 2022 23:59
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Shifty Pony posted:Has anyone delt with thumb sucking? I've heard a very experienced dentist say thumb sucking or pacifiers are no big deal before 3, but at 3 it's a good time to quit. Your problem will be you can't take the thumb away like we did the pacifier... Never heard of Mavala but I'll guess it's one of those compounds that tastes bitter, and is supposed to stop nail biting? Using that on a little kid feels like it's bordering on the sadistic, but it might be effective...
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Nov 12, 2022 00:04
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Hippie Hedgehog posted:I've heard a very experienced dentist say thumb sucking or pacifiers are no big deal before 3, but at 3 it's a good time to quit. Yeah the stuff is supposed to be quite effective, I am just far from convinced we have any need to use it yet. Like I said a lot of resources from legitimate places say thumb sucking drops off without intervention by 3-4yrs old. I was wondering if that's what other parents have seen.
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Nov 12, 2022 01:19
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Shifty Pony posted:Yeah the stuff is supposed to be quite effective, I am just far from convinced we have any need to use it yet. Like I said a lot of resources from legitimate places say thumb sucking drops off without intervention by 3-4yrs old. I was wondering if that's what other parents have seen. Our 4.5yo son still sucks his thumb regularly, and we haven't found a good way to get him to stop. We haven't tried super hard either since our pediatrician told us not to worry yet (she'll probably say something at his 5 year checkup). My wife sucked her thumb until she was 12 - she stopped doing it during the day when she was 7 but still did it at night when sleeping. She needed braces but doesn't have crazy long-term mouth issues or anything. Anecdotal evidence and all that, but we aren't too concerned about the thumb sucking for our son yet because he doesn't suck vigorously and both our kids are late bloomers in the teeth area (our 6yo daughter has only lost 1 baby tooth, and our son is likely to be on a similar path). Good-Natured Filth fucked around with this message at 02:38 on Nov 12, 2022 |
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Nov 12, 2022 02:33
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nachos posted:It’s been 5 days of potty training and I’m not sure what to do because she just holds her pee and screams until there’s an accident. Then she feels bad about it but isn’t motivated to go to the potty next time because it’s another stressor. Yesterday some pee actually went in the toilet but today is just flat out refusal to do anything. She’s almost 3 but I feel like we need to just try again in a couple months Yeah only one of my kids was fully potty trained by their third birthday, it's a good goalpost but nbd if the kid doesn't quite hit it.
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Nov 12, 2022 03:56
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“Mama, I need to take off my shoes. My feet have too much humidity.”
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Nov 12, 2022 05:11
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His Divine Shadow posted:I'm wondering about David (the other twin) again. We had a yearly meeting with his teachers, the assistants and so on to discuss their progress, their challenges, their needs and lay the groundwork for the next 1.5 years. He sounds a lot like Jasper, my 9 year old. He was diagnosed with ADHD a couple years ago, but his therapist that he's been seeing for 2 1/2 years now is suggesting getting him tested for autism, anxiety, and ocd. Being in therapy has helped him! He doesn't have meltdowns that basically destroy the rest of the day anymore and sometimes situations we are worried will cause a meltdown don't. For the first time ever he got a 3 on behavior on his report card this semester (meets expectations) instead of a 2! I teach a lot of adults on the spectrum and there are some behaviors of his that track. It would be very high functioning if he is. He does stim (its weirdly the same stimming behavior I do, but he's never seen me do it because I forced myself to stop as a teen because I wa embarrased) and he has sensory issues with some clothes and food. He's also VERY social, but he's kind of awful at it, but he tries and wants lots of friends. I've always had to coach him. Interestingly enough he seems to be making more friends that are girls at school. Edit: I am working on getting him tested, but in the US it is so freaking hard. I really wish I could hire someone to take care of that for me.
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Nov 12, 2022 14:35
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Another avenue to explore is having their eyes checked. Turns out +6 in each eye wasn't strong enough and he still couldn't see. Getting +9s fixed it and the acting out went from excessive to normal four year old. Also telling daycare to let him keep the glasses at naptime, because, to no one's surprise, being blind for two hours is scary! I still feel pretty bad about it. (Not to diminish or discourage any other checks, therapy, or assessments. Just something else to think about!)
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Nov 12, 2022 15:36
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Lmao right out of the gate this weekend the older two are fighting and the younger of them (4) is throwing a massive tantrum because we won’t let him wear skeleton pajamas. I wonder how our parenting would be if we didn’t have three to mind.
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Nov 12, 2022 15:47
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Christe Eleison posted:I wonder how our parenting would be if we didn’t have three to mind. a whole lot easier for sure!
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Nov 12, 2022 17:53
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Is it ok to just keep giving into silly things or things you don't necessarily want toddlers to do just to avoid meltdowns? e.g. my daughter wanted to wear 3 t-shirts and 2 pairs of shorts to bed last night and instead of telling her no I just said sure whatever, knowing that she might get hot. Or when my son wanted to bring in a dirty toy from outside to play with I just say yes and dealt with the dirt later because it's much easier to deal with than a screaming toddler I fear that I am going to become a pushover if I keep giving in when they get older, but I also feel like at 2.5 years old it's best for everyone if meltdowns are avoided.
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Nov 12, 2022 18:08
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I would absolutely let kids control the things that don't matter in the grand scheme of things. My son is 9 and he is pretty much a delight now and listens fairly well now and we give him a fair amount of autonomy, and always have, for things that don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. Kids have so little control over so much in their lives, it's not going to hurt anything to let them wear three shirts or go out bare foot when it's 50° or whatever. Save your battles and your energy for the things that actually do matter/make an impact/ you feel strongly about.
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Nov 12, 2022 18:15
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Mind_Taker posted:Is it ok to just keep giving into silly things or things you don't necessarily want toddlers to do just to avoid meltdowns? Sure no problem. We have a glass top coffee table and she spilled some water or whatever on it got all her other toys wet. Fine. She played there happily for like an hour or more Ours decided to put her feet on the dinner table to see what happened and that was a hard NO from me, she tried pushing my limits but held firm on that and hasn't been a problem since My brother in law rules his kids lives with an iron fist and they're both going to go crazy when they finally get to college and have six months of actual freedom for the first time in their lives
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Nov 12, 2022 18:21
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Thanks for the responses. My wife and I talked yesterday and we kind of agreed that letting them do what they want in many cases is just so much easier. Another example was that we signed our toddlers up for a soccer program (basically just a bunch of kids running around and kicking balls into goals and stuff). My son loves it but my daughter doesn't like it very much. We at first tried our hardest to get her to play soccer despite her getting upset (in an attempt to justify the money we spent for her) and it just led to misery. Last week we just said "sure pick grass and play with sticks if you'd rather do that" and it went so much smoother.
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Nov 12, 2022 18:30
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My kid after a failed week of potty training - insists on wearing undies - refuses to go on the potty - holds in her pee for hours and screams even if she has a diaper on - eventually pees herself then refuses to wash her hands or get cleaned in any way - spends the next 30 minutes trying to put on her undies by herself, refusing help, and throwing tantrums when they don’t go on right I’m not even mad anymore, I just crylaugh
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Nov 12, 2022 22:23
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My little guy has done two seasons of T-ball so far. It mostly consisted of digging in the dirt and running around randomly. But out of the blue the other day my two kids insisted on going to the field to practice and lo and behold he hit like 30 balls off the tee and fielded a bunch of balls. Before the age of 5-6, everything you do with them is really just exposure and making positive associations. The real magic of organized activities starts around kindergarten.
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Nov 13, 2022 02:02
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We have started some rudimentary gymnastics classes, soccer, and swimming all in the past month at the age of two and it’s complete chaos every time.
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Nov 13, 2022 02:07
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slave to my cravings posted:We have started some rudimentary gymnastics classes, soccer, and swimming all in the past month at the age of two and it’s complete chaos every time. How do you find activities like that? Are they at a school or community center? Would love to get my boy into an activity of some kind.
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Nov 13, 2022 02:39
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There is a big county rec park near us that has the swimming and soccer stuff. Fairly reasonably priced for a class per week. Registration online fills up really quickly though. The toddler classes aren’t longer than 30 minutes because that’s as long as they can last. It’s a decent mix of some 5 minute group activities and 1:1 parent child play in a different environment than daycare and home. Hoping it breaks up the monotony of staying inside all winter. There are quite a few toddler gyms near us too. It’s mostly foam gymnastic pads with some climbing and balancing equipment. All of it is parent-toddler play with some circle/song activities. Some of the gyms have trial classes for fairly cheap.
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Nov 13, 2022 02:55
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My daughter randomly turned a block into a die and invented a whole game with marker caps as tokens. It was actually fun and challenging. Where does this poo poo come from? Kids make me feel like I'm stupid.
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Nov 13, 2022 03:15
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nachos posted:It’s been 5 days of potty training and I’m not sure what to do because she just holds her pee and screams until there’s an accident. Then she feels bad about it but isn’t motivated to go to the potty next time because it’s another stressor. Yesterday some pee actually went in the toilet but today is just flat out refusal to do anything. She’s almost 3 but I feel like we need to just try again in a couple months Our first attempt at potty training also ended when we realized we were only training her to hold it. She just wasn't ready. We kept the potty in the bathroom as an unobtrusive, familiar object that also doubled as a stool/seat. Eventually she just kind of independently started using it once in a while, gradually more and more. (This started right after her first exposure to other kids in preschool and seeing them use the potty there.)
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Nov 13, 2022 04:00
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slave to my cravings posted:There is a big county rec park near us that has the swimming and soccer stuff. Fairly reasonably priced for a class per week. Registration online fills up really quickly though. The toddler classes aren’t longer than 30 minutes because that’s as long as they can last. It’s a decent mix of some 5 minute group activities and 1:1 parent child play in a different environment than daycare and home. Hoping it breaks up the monotony of staying inside all winter. Thanks for the info  holy cow, you’re right about things filling up fast!
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Nov 13, 2022 05:38
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BF and toddler came over to my house and toddler immediately got potty FOMO and asked to use my toilet. Zero prompting at ALL. Fingers crossed this is a trend.
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Nov 13, 2022 06:15
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Hadlock posted:David might just need to be challenged more. If he's got enough extra cycles to have a crisis about wether or not he's learning enough in class and if he's holding things up he might just be super bored. We moved to a new, sleepy town for my wife's job and I find myself picking at all sorts of things in my life like those sun dried tomatoes because I'm just bored out of my skull Despite his gifts with language, I don't think David or his brother can be considered typically gifted children. Both have problems learning and are generally behind kids of their age behaviorally by 1-2 years I would say. When we have friends or family over with kids same age or younger I can really tell the difference. I don't think he's got extra cycles, he's got a normal amount of them, he's just incapable of directing the ones he's got. It just flies off all directions. He needs to learn to cope with his hangups / getting stuck in a loop behaviour that he's developed. His ability to concentrate is worse than that of his brother, they break up a class to like 5-10 minutes of work, then 5 minute breaks to try and cope with this. And his class is then basically him and his teacher. I would say his lack of concentration is at the center, that's what keeps him drifting to all this other stuff and leading to hangups. I can only hope they mature out of it because even the ADHD drugs are not able to fully correct it. But they have had their issues in life I guess, both have Holt-Oram syndrome which affects their lower arms and hands, also affects the heart, both are premature (week 29) and David needed open heart surgery as a newborn to correct an ASD and VSD, then they've had like 5-6 surgeries each later on to correct their hands as well as can be managed, which honestly worked out a lot better than I thought. They've had a lot of challenges in their lives but have overcome them pretty well I would say. Alterian posted:He sounds a lot like Jasper, my 9 year old. He was diagnosed with ADHD a couple years ago, but his therapist that he's been seeing for 2 1/2 years now is suggesting getting him tested for autism, anxiety, and ocd. Being in therapy has helped him! He doesn't have meltdowns that basically destroy the rest of the day anymore and sometimes situations we are worried will cause a meltdown don't. For the first time ever he got a 3 on behavior on his report card this semester (meets expectations) instead of a 2! We discussed this in the meeting, about therapy and we're going ahead with that, the school curator will be the first attempt, but they mentioned something called NEPSY that they will attempt to get which I believe is a kind of test which would help to get more support. Very social but kind of bad at it is how I'd describe these kids sometimes, it's more like they're 1-2 years behind in that behavior.
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Nov 13, 2022 09:40
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 Thanks again for the gate recs, thread. Crib transformation to toddler bed is tonight!
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Nov 13, 2022 19:01
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Is there any way to get through to our 2.5 year old that lying is bad? He'll do something like throw his stuffed animal across the room then say "I didn't do that". Or hit one of us and then claim he didn't do it. Or pour his drink on the floor on purpose then say he didn't do that. Just constant flat out denials of anything that gets him in trouble.
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Nov 13, 2022 19:33
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L0cke17 posted:Is there any way to get through to our 2.5 year old that lying is bad? I wouldn't get hung up on the lying aspect of it right now. At that age he's got a lot of magical thinking and poor impulse control so it can be real tough to verbalize the difference between "I didn't actually do that", "I should not have done that" and "I didn't intend to do that." Just straight report what you saw, and move on to appropriate consequences or redirection
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Nov 13, 2022 19:44
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Yeah I think there's a big difference between magical thinking of "I didn't do that -> I won't get in trouble in the next 30 seconds" and a teenage girl stealing dad's car and driving 10 miles in the middle of the night to go visit her friends from another school* and the long term trust issues she's creating with her parents. One is "I'll say anything to avoid getting spanked" and the other is "I'm basically a young adult and lying about doing illegal things regardless of the long term impacts" *I knew a girl in my 10th grade health class who did this several times a week, she turned out exactly how you can imagine
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Nov 13, 2022 19:49
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https://www.zerotothree.org/resource/when-young-children-lie/
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Nov 13, 2022 20:34
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| # ? Jun 11, 2024 07:34 |
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My 2yo daughter in the last six weeks has stopped calling me daddy and started calling me by my first name. She knows the difference How do I enforce dad/daddy short of corporal punishment. Correcting her/ignoring her doesn't seem to be working
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Nov 13, 2022 21:17
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