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What would it take for you to watch Dana White's Power Slap League? This poll is closed. |
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| Dana White gets slapped at the beginning of each episode |
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11 | 22.92% |
| Dana's rotating cast of friends and politicians getting slapped on each episode |
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11 | 22.92% |
| Fight Circus crossover |
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5 | 10.42% |
| Literally no force on Earth will make me watch slap fighting |
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21 | 43.75% |
| Total: | 48 votes | ||
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Shumagorath posted:Guida was pretty cool when I met him after being upgraded to floor seats at one of the Montréal shows. He’s also far more chill than his walk-out routine and in-cage antics would suggest. Apparently he's a super nice guy. He was one of my favourite guys to watch back in the day because he was so weird. He didn't make it into one of the UFC games because they couldn't model his hair.
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Nov 16, 2022 00:15
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ilmucche posted:Apparently he's a super nice guy. He was one of my favourite guys to watch back in the day because he was so weird. more than that, they offered him some obscene amount of money to cut it off and he turned it down. dude has integrity.
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Nov 16, 2022 00:16
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Snowman_McK posted:He's been killed by John Wick, Joaquin Phoenix, Steve Austin and the Punisher We should all be so lucky
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Nov 16, 2022 00:19
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CarlCX posted:Clay Guida has always been good and I have held this as one of the faithful forever. yeah id be really surprised if i had an unkind word about the guy in spite of overwhelming hostility. im basically sasmma rosa parks about pressure wrestling cardio machines and no, i don't need any help getting up on this cross, tyvm
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Nov 16, 2022 00:57
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As I recall the arc of his reputation generally, he was super popular up until the Maynard fight. I remember lots of people loving him for handing Nate his first UFC loss, back before everyone figured out that the Diazes are always right about everything. With the Maynard fight he started having more boring, shitass fights, until he got to this point where people who occasionally watch fights remember the early hyperkinetic aggressive guy who had a crazy war with Diego Sanchez, but people who have seen him more often remember the rest.
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Nov 16, 2022 01:27
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Also for some reason Ryan Bader follows me on twitter.
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Nov 16, 2022 02:50
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The unfortunate thing about Clay Guida is it also means Jason Guida is not far behind
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Nov 16, 2022 02:50
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Clay Guida lost a five round fight by being outstruck by Gray Maynard
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Nov 16, 2022 02:52
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had to wait for the tournament semi-finals to get announced today after the draw at weigh ins B League Preview Invicta FC 50 - Wednesday, November 16 Main Card - 9PM ET, Youtube, FightPass, AXS TV Strawweight Tournament (Finals) & Vacant Strawweight Title - TBD vs TBD Vacant’s sixth title reign is coming to an end tonight! This is also Vacant’s 3rd-shortest reign with the 115lb title. Bantamweight - Katharina Lehner vs Talita Bernardo Lehner is 7-3, with one career finish, a first round knockout in 2017. She’s 1-2 in Invicta, 0-1 in Bellator, and lost on TUF. Basically, any time Katharina Lehner has faced somewhat stiff, legitimate competition, she’s fallen short. She comes into this contest with 3 straight MMA losses (4 if you count her exhibition defeat on TUF), not having won since 2017, though she did notch a decision win in boxing in 2018. Bernardo is 8-4, with 5 submission wins. She is 1-3 in the UFC, and 1-0 in Invicta. She comes into this bout on a two-fight win streak. This bout was scheduled for earlier this year, but Lehner withdrew. Feels like delaying the inevitable, as Lehner has not won in around 5 years, and Bernardo has looked pretty solid. Bantamweight - “Grizzly” Claire Guthrie vs Guthrie is 3-1 as a pro, with 1 submission win. She’s also 0-2 in exhibition bouts, losing an Invicta Phoenix Series contest in 2020, and then falling to Juliana Miller on TUF in 2022. Guthrie is technically riding a 2-fight win streak for professional, regular MMA, the latest of which was a decision over Miller in 2021. Morais has whomped some ladyscrubs, and hasn’t stepped foot inside a cage in 4 years. Guthrie has at least proven to be an actual, factual fighter, and she’s competed regularly and recently. Chase is 3-1 with 2 submissions and 1 TKO wins over fighters with a current combined record of 5-13. She last fought in 2021, running her win streak to 3. Guthrie has been a bit more active than Chase, and she’s also fought some competent fighters, giving her a leg up on Brigid. Strawweight Tournament (Semi-Finals) - Valesca “Black Tina” Machado vs Ediana “Mel Pitbull” Silva Machado is 10-3, boasting 4 TKOs and 1 submission win. She’s on a two-fight MMA win streak, including her Invicta debut in September, a decision win over Liz Tracy. Silva is 12-2, with 5 TKOs and 3 submission wins. She’s currently on a 7-fight win streak, most recently taking a decision in LFA in July. Machado looked pretty good last time out. Let’s go, Tina Black. Strawweight Tournament (Semi-Finals) - Gloria “Glorinha” de Paula vs Karolina “Polish Assassin” Wojcik De Paula is 6-5, with 3 TKO wins. She took a decision win on the Contender Series in 2020, and then went 1-3 in the UFC. Wojcik is 9-2, with 2 TKO wins. She’s on a 4-fight win streak, the most recent a decision victory on the Contender Series in August. No offense to Gloria, but once again, Dana’s eye for talent scouting is apparent. Strawweight Tournament (Reserve Bout) - Mazar is 8-4, with 5 TKOs and 1 submission win (And all 4 losses coming by submission). She’s 1-2 under the ONE banner. She last fought in July, beating Flore Hani. McCormack is 5-2, with 1 TKO and 1 submission win as well. She’s 4-1 in Bellator. She’s on a two fight skid, her last win coming in 2021. Mazar is a puncher, and McCormack has been punched out before. Seems bad for Danni! Strawweight Tournament (Reserve Bout) - Pone is 1-1, with both fights coming under the Invicta banner. She won her debut by second round TKO, then dropped a decision to Helen Peralta in January 2022. Parker is 3-2, with 2 submission wins, and she’s also showing a 6-0 boxing record on Tapology. She dropped her most recent fight, a decision to Isis Verbeek in July. Elise is gonna get Pone’d.
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Nov 16, 2022 03:00
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Fight Week, Pets Week rolls on with Bellator 288 Tyrell Fortune's big boi, Oso  Otto Rodrigues's dog  Nick Talavera's bud  Laird Anderson's lil friend  Rob Fenicle's dog  Matias Nader's dog 
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Nov 16, 2022 04:32
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https://twitter.com/RealPressMMA/status/1592271288986632192 Still more legit than Dana's slap league
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Nov 16, 2022 05:59
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If "two atomweights in a coat versus a nineteenth century prospector" were a defined league I'd watch it ten times out of ten over Power Slap Thing
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Nov 16, 2022 06:03
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Looks like they offered a bar tender at a microbrew 50 bucks.
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Nov 16, 2022 09:46
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DO YALL WANT A BOXC posted:Dana's White Power Slap Press Conference: I like how it basically can be read as Dana having his own slap of White Power.
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Nov 16, 2022 17:53
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CommonShore posted:As I recall the arc of his reputation generally, he was super popular up until the Maynard fight. I remember lots of people loving him for handing Nate his first UFC loss, back before everyone figured out that the Diazes are always right about everything. With the Maynard fight he started having more boring, shitass fights, until he got to this point where people who occasionally watch fights remember the early hyperkinetic aggressive guy who had a crazy war with Diego Sanchez, but people who have seen him more often remember the rest. IIRC he was also living in an RV at the time and just kinda.....bumming it in a sense?
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Nov 16, 2022 17:55
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Snowman_McK posted:more than that, they offered him some obscene amount of money to cut it off and he turned it down. dude has integrity. it's the best part!
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Nov 16, 2022 18:55
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 39: FROM GLORY TO GOLGOTHA EARLY START TIME WARNINGPRELIMS 10 AM PST/1 PM EST | MAIN CARD 1 PM PST / 4 PM ESTRemember how awesome last week's event was? Remember how hard the UFC stacked it, just to remind you that they totally could if they wanted to? Well, tough luck, 'cause we're back to normal.  forever haunted by the angry ghost of chase sherman MAIN EVENT: 'TWAS BEAUTY KILLED THE BLACK BEAST  HEAVYWEIGHT: Derrick Lewis (26-10 (1), #7) vs Sergei Spivac (15-3, #12)Two weeks ago, in recognition of a fight that ultimately wound up not actually happening, I wrote this about the heavyweight division: CarlCX posted:I rag on the heavyweight division on an almost weekly basis, and to be clear, there's a very good reason--it's bad--but aside from the world's obsession with large men doing large man things, the heavyweight division isn't bereft of value. The zero-sum game of fighting at heavyweight is in its own way an example of purity in mixed martial arts technique. When leaning into a punch or allowing someone to take your back can be an instantaneous fight-ender just because they're so loving big and strong that a single mistake puts you in an intractable position, every single maneuver matters that much more. There's a reason the Cro-Cop high kick and the Ngannou rip-your-goddamn-head-off haymaker become part of the mythological core of the sport. That's still inherently true. Heavyweight, and the lack of room for mistakes at heavyweight, lends itself to a certain sort of ultra-determinism. It's a big part of why heavyweight fighters even from past eras can still feel vital in ways the standouts of other divisions just don't. A 2001-era Dave Menne would be compacted into an easily portable size by essentially anyone on the UFC's middleweight roster altogether, but the Josh Barnett who won the heavyweight championship in 2002 could still make the top ten. Hell, the Josh Barnett of today who's 45 and hasn't fought in six years would have a fairly reasonable shot. Fedor Emelianenko is still disposing of Bellator heavyweights, Alistair Overeem and Andrei Arlovski are in their third decades of combat sports competition and Dan Severn was fighting and ragdolling regional heavyweights into his mid-fifties. They still win fights--some of them, anyway--because as long as you still have power and some semblance of your athleticism left, all it takes at heavyweight is your opponent making a mistake. If Timothy Johnson charges in with his hands down it doesn't matter that Fedor is old enough to remember when Zimbabwe was Southern Rhodesia, he can still punch fast and hard enough to knock him out. But there's a key here: You have to be able to do multiple things. 45 year-old Josh Barnett is still an incredibly dangerous catch wrestler. Alistair Overeem can still knee the armor off a tank in the clinch. An aging heavyweight's ability to punch people to death is in some part predicated on how realistic it is that their opponent is worried about them doing literally anything else. Derrick "The Black Beast" Lewis is only 37. He's only lost three of his last eight fights, and two of those losses came against top contenders. One of his wins was an incredibly violent knockout victory of another, different top contender. By any metric, he's still a very, very successful heavyweight. And a lot of people are already writing his career's eulogy anyway, because boy, Derrick Lewis really only does the one thing, and the moment that one thing seems to stop working, it becomes incredibly difficult to imagine him sticking around. And that, in itself, is a very strange feeling, because Derrick Lewis feels like he's been around forever. His ridiculous knockout power has been a staple of the UFC's heavyweight division since 2014, and between then and now, there's only been one calendar year in which Lewis didn't knock at least one person completely loving stupid with his hamhock fists. When Derrick Lewis scored his first UFC knockout, Cain Velasquez was the UFC champion and Fabrício Werdum was just a handful of months away from knocking out Mark Hunt to become his top contender; nearly a decade later Mark Hunt is closing in on 50 and having boxing exhibitions with rugby players, no one knows if Fabrício Werdum is retired, Cain Velasquez had enough time to retire, have a professional wrestling career and get arrested for attempted homicide, and Derrick Lewis is still goddamn here, in the top ten, where he's been all this time. But 2022 isn't just the second year he hasn't knocked anyone out, it's the first year he hasn't won a single fight. In February he got knocked out cold by Tai Tuivasa in two rounds; in July, he got faceplanted by Sergei Pavlovich in under a minute. There's no shame in this, both men are prolific knockout artists, but they represented a terrifying new reality in his career. Derrick Lewis has been knocked out multiple times, but those losses were either against perceived physical specimens like Matt Mitrione or, more commonly, much more technically capable strikers. Shawn Jordan's hook kicks, Mark Hunt and Junior dos Santos's boxing expertise, Ciryl Gane's masterful kickboxing technique: There were clear throughlines, both mechanically and narratively, for how they successfully outclassed Lewis and his brawling style. Tai Tuivasa didn't outclass him, he stood in his face and went blow for blow with him until Lewis stopped moving. Sergei Pavlovich didn't defeat Derrick Lewis with technical prowess and his reach advantage, he charged right into him and punched him loopy. That's where the fear sets in. If Derrick Lewis is losing because of the holes in his style, that's just the normal way of the sport. If Derrick Lewis is losing because other fighters can be a better Derrick Lewis than him, what is there left for Derrick Lewis to be? This is, in all likelihood, why the UFC is trying to stave off this existential crisis for a few more months. After four straight fights against dangerous striking stylists, Lewis gets to fight Sergey Spivac, which the UFC has decided to spell with a Y and C instead of an I and K this month because Cyrillic transliteration is a fun game. Spivac's been in the UFC for three and a half years and this is his first main event, primarily because it's the first time he's had a real argument for any kind of burgeoning divisional relevancy. His first two years in the UFC were characterized by give and take, narrow decisions, and getting blown out of the water by the hype train that was Tom Aspinall. Spivac didn't get much of a spotlight until the UFC tried to use him as a do-or-die stepping stone for Dana White's favorite domestic assault enthusiast Greg Hardy--and Spivac manhandled Hardy so thoroughly the UFC gave up on him completely, automatically making Spivac the greatest heavyweight to ever live. He followed this up with a similarly complete domination of the once-highly-touted Augusto Sakai, a kickboxing specialist who had fallen on hard times, doling out a ground-and-pound clinic that ultimately stopped in the second round when the referee decided a 50-2 striking differential was probably a good reason to call the fight off. There's an obvious throughline here: Spivac is exceptionally dominant as long as he can get fights to the ground. When he's crushing people with his top control and his relentless ground and pound and threats of arm triangles, he's a killer. He tapped out Tai Tuivasa, he pounded out Jared Vanderaa, he even threatened grapple grandpa Aleksei Oleinik himself with chokes on the floor between elbowing his face open. The ground is his home. Every time he has not been able to successfully control his opponent in grappling positions, he's lost. In other words: This fight isn't a referendum on if Derrick Lewis can still survive a brawl, it's a referendum on if Derrick Lewis can still stay on his feet. The oddsmakers have Spivac as the favorite and Lewis as a +150-200 underdog. I get why--repeated knockouts lower anyone's stock--but, respectfully, I think they're crazy. We're only a year and a half out from Derrick Lewis facing one of the fastest, most powerful wrestlers in the division in Curtis Blaydes, stuffing his first three takedown attempts with his own defensive wrestling and stuffing his fourth and final takedown attempt by uppercuting his head into the god damned sun. Sergey isn't an iron-chinned brawler like Tuivasa or a hulking punching machine like Pavlovich, he's a pretty conventional grappler who's gotten repeatedly knocked out, and while I will always love him for ridding us of Greg Hardy, I don't think this is going to go well for him at all. Derrick Lewis by KO. CO-MAIN EVENT: STAVING OFF THE EXECUTIONER LIGHT-HEAVYWEIGHT: Kennedy Nzechukwu (10-3) vs Ion Cuțelaba (16-8-1 (1)) Boy, this co-main event. Ordinarily, you want a co-main event to be an interesting, relevant fight: People at the south end of the top ten who are making an argument for a serious look at contendership, or people who are building momentum and trying to capitalize on their growing relevance. This is not that. This is the polar opposite of that. This is the first co-main event in recent memory that could also very easily be a housecleaning fight. This is a co-main event where both competitors are a combined 2-4 in their last three fights and one of those two wins was against an 0-4 guy who doesn't work here anymore. This is also probably a fight to determine the 15th best fighter in the division. Light-heavyweight: It's not great. Kennedy Nzechukwu is, at the very least, the better-off half of that conversation, which is damning him with faint praise as he's only 4-3 in the UFC and his only win in his last three fights is the aforementioned pink slip recipient. Nzechukwu joined the UFC thanks to a Contender Series knockout against Dennis "The Beard" Bryant, over whom he had an entire foot of reach, which was a) somehow legal without getting everyone involved in the matchmaking thrown in the Hague and b) earned him the right to become the UFC's trashman. Kennedy Nzechukwu's four wins are almost entirely over people who were already on their way out of the company. His record against fighters who were still signed to the UFC a year after he fought them is 1-3, and if you think the matchmakers are trying to throw him a bone by booking him against yet another guy on his way out who's also giving up a ton of size and reach and also is a sometimes boring wrestler they think he can outpower, then frankly, I just can't believe you'd be so cynical and I'm very disappointed in you. And it's unfortunate, because Kennedy isn't a bad fighter. He's a lot of fun to watch, he throws a ton of kicks, he's a goddamn 6'5" fighter who throws jumping switch kicks when he feels like it. The problem: He's a goddamn 6'5" fighter who's better at throwing jumping switch kicks than jabs. His use of strength and reach comes far more from spamming kicks and guillotine attempts than navigating boxing exchanges, and that carries recurring flaws: He's bad at blocking incoming punches, he's bad at dealing with pressure strikers, and he has a lot of trouble coping with strong wrestling games. Which could, theoretically, be a problem. Ion Cuțelaba has not been having a great time as of late, but then, Ion Cuțelaba hasn't really had a great time in the UFC at any point. After six years with the organization, his longest winning streak stands at two, and it's a feat he achieved only once. His back-and-forth has, unfortunately, also been less than stellar as of late: Since 2020 he's 1-4-1. Which is crazy when you consider that in the two fights immediately prior to 2020 he beat the brakes off Khalil Rountree and came incredibly close to knocking out future champion Glover Teixeira. How, exactly, do you go so abruptly from the precipice of incredible success to the pits of utter despair? You fight like a reckless berserker, mostly. Ion Cuțelaba wants to hurt you. He doesn't care if he's winging hooks at your head or dragging you to the floor to elbow you in the face or chaining spinning backfists together until one of them finally lands, he wants to be on offense at all times. When he's pushing forward and hurting people, he's one of the most dangerous fighters in the division. When literally anything else is happening he's getting outstruck at range, controlled on the ground and choked unconscious. So it's two light-heavyweights with very little in the way of good defensive skills, one of whom is good at snaring chokes and throwing long kicks but bad at dealing with pressure and wrestling, one of whom is good at pressure and wrestling but bad at ranged striking and fending off grappling advantages. These are still two of the top twenty, twenty-five fighters in the world at this weight class. God help us all. Kennedy Nzechukwu by submission. Cuțelaba's going to have an awful lot of trouble reaching and hurting Kennedy on the feet, so odds are this becomes a wrestling-centric assault, and Nzechukwu finds ways to hunt for guillotines and anaconda chokes as a counter-wrestling method that makes use of his forty-foot arms. I think this is the time he finds one. MAIN CARD: LUNCHBOX HANDS HEAVYWEIGHT: Chase Sherman (16-10) vs Waldo Cortes-Acosta (8-0)As I close in on the end of my first year of service in the fight mines, I realize I have written about Chase Sherman more often than any other fighter. This is the sixth time I will write about Chase Sherman in eleven months. Two of those fights didn't even happen. At one point Chase Sherman wasn't even employed by the UFC anymore. And yet, in a year with multiple Israel Adesanya fights, in a year with promising prospects like Tom Aspinall and Marlon Vera in several main events, it is Chase goddamn Sherman who is my white whale--nay, my Vanilla Gorilla. I cannot escape him, no matter how deeply into the B-leagues I run, and he cannot escape me, no matter how many times he is manhandled by large men. We are destined to do this dance forever, his rock'em sock'em boxing propelling the two of us through space until all of reality suffuses and becomes a disc in which no points can be delineated from one another. Where in the tapestry of time are we, now? Is this the great Parker Porter bout of 2021? Is it the Chase Sherman vs Alexandr Romanov that happened in this reality or the original cancelled one from Earth 26? Is this the 2025 Chase Sherman/Hamdy Abdelwahab world championship bout that came after The Great Collapse killed half the roster, sank the entire western seaboard and left the UFC under Bjorn Rebney's control? Oh, no, that's right--it's Chase Sherman vs Waldo "Salsa Boy" Cortes-Acosta, the fight I definitely didn't make up that definitely doesn't feature a fighter who just fought a full fifteen-minutes and took fifty-nine heavyweight strikes less than three weeks ago for $10,000 before taxes and is now somehow licensed to fight again already without anyone getting arrested for crimes against decency. That would be ridiculous. It's Chase Sherman. What words are there left in my blood to tell you anything about the man, and what veins have I left to pour ink to page with for him? Through the wheat the boxer will appear to take him away, and I will mock him to all of you while in my heart of hearts cradling him and letting the blows fall upon my body. No, I will cry, not my son. But they will not listen, and when the time comes, I will deny him to the thanatologists and say I knew him not, but I will know that his was the face of The Heavyweight, and lo, I will see him in every heavyweight yet to be. Waldo Cortes-Acosta by KO. Ab ovo, ab aeterno, ab intestato, ab intra. WELTERWEIGHT: André Fialho (16-5 (1)) vs Muslim Salikhov (18-3) And here, we come to strikers who have fallen on hard times. André Fialho was one of the UFC's more interesting stories, a late-replacement signing back in January who will now be contesting his fifth UFC fight in just 2022. Which is impressive! Unfortunately, the most memorable part of said run was his last appearance back in June when Jake Matthews punched eighteen phantoms of death out of him in one of the most beautiful, one-sided fights of the year. Like so many, this has proven to be Fialho's folly: He's a fantastic offensive fighter, with dangerous power in his hands and fluid combinations once he gets them going, but his offense IS his defense, and once breached, he's in trouble. Even successful outings have seen him getting hurt thanks to his own aggression. "The King of Kung Fu" Muslim Salikhov has been a much more sedate striking influence. Salikhov, possibly the only non-Cung Le fighter to cite San Shou as his primary style, pays tribute to the old masters by throwing lots of unnecessary spinning kicks and winning extremely iffy decisions. Salikhov is one of those intensely frustrating fighters to watch: He's got power, he's got a varied skillset, he's got a solid chin, and when it comes to the crucial tests in his career they just don't seem to matter because his decisionmaking falls apart. He's lost multiple fights he could have won by committing too hard to hunting for grand-slam knockout shots rather than fighting conservatively. It doesn't matter that he can outstrike most of the planet from the outside when he chooses to slang and bang instead. All of that being said: If he's going to play conkers with someone, Fialho's as good a candidate as any. Both of these men are offensively-oriented striking specialists and both like to throw with a reckless disregard for their own chins. Salikhov is more willing to shoot and he's got more tools in his belt, but Fialho's got the better pure boxing. Fialho can chase Salikhov down and find his chin, given a chance. But he's just too goddamn hittable to last. Muslim Salikhov by TKO. WELTERWEIGHT: Jack Della Maddalena (12-2) vs Danny Roberts (18-6) It's squash match time, baby. Jack Della Maddalena is the living justification for the existence of the Contender Series. They will throw hundreds of fighters into the meat grinder if it means they find one Della Maddalena: A hard-nosed, sharp-eyed boxer who atomizes people for minimum wage with pure technique rather than overwhelming physical force. The UFC hasn't been taking it easy on him, either; they initially wanted him fighting veteran prospect-derailer Warlley Alves in his debut, and for his sophomore effort gave him Ramazan Emeev, an exceedingly tough and very successful fighter he turned into paste with boxing combinations in a single round. Coincidentally, and most certainly in no way an influence on the UFC's matchmaking predilections, Danny "Hot Chocolate" Roberts also fought Ramazan Emeev just two fights ago. It was an incredibly close, incredibly difficult bout that saw him struggling on the floor and repeatedly wobbled on the feet, but he gave as good as he got and came away with a split decision. This, in general, is the Danny Roberts story. He's a very solid fighter with fast hands and a well-rounded skillset, but there's no thing he does particularly better than anyone else in the UFC, and that gets him ate up by the fighters with exceptional, standout skills, be it Michel Pereira's technique or Mike Perry's brute strength. Which is, of course, half the point of this fight. The other half is comparative analysis. MMAth--the art of saying "x fighter beat y, so x fighter should beat z, who lost to y"--is deeply, thoroughly flawed as an analytical technique. Fighters are different, different styles gel in different ways, sometimes a butterfly flaps its wings in Zagreb and Brendan Schaub knocks out Mirko Cro Cop. But when two fighters fight the same fighter in similar ways, comparison becomes unavoidable. Ramazan Emeev gave Danny Roberts hell. He outstruck him 67-42, hurt him with his hands and held him on the ground for most of an entire round. He took Jack down, too: Jack pulled out of a choke attempt and was back on his feet in 25 seconds. It took 18 shots to leave Emeev crumpled on the ground holding his non-functional liver. It's not subtle. Jack took two dangerous fights and passed both tests with flying colors, and now that the UFC knows he's a reliable marketing prospect, it's time to find some smoother matches for him until he can make them some real money. Roberts is an aggressive fighter with an occasionally troublesome chin coming off a bad loss, and Maddalena immolated the man who gave him one of his hardest fights. This should not defy convention. Jack Della Maddalena by TKO. PRELIMS: DANA WHITE DOES NOT CARE IF YOU WATCH THESE FLYWEIGHT: Charles Johnson (11-3) vs Zhalgas Zhumagulov (14-7) Difficult times have come to flyweight. Charles "InnerG" Johnson was always intended to lose his debut. The UFC brought him in from the regionals as a stepping stone for Muhammad Mokaev, one of the most promising prospects in the sport, and he served his purposes by testing him, but not in a way that put him in any particular danger at any point. As a show of gratitude towards Johnson, the UFC has put him on cleanup duty. Zhalgas "Zhako" Zhumagulov was considered a big pickup for the UFC when they brought him aboard in 2020 as a rarely-defeated flyweight champion out of Russia who'd just knocked off three very tough competitors in current UFC stars Tyson Nam and Tagir Ulanbekov as well as former UFC title challenger Ali Bagautinov, but his time in the spotlight has more than derailed his hype train: He's 1-4 in his UFC run, with his sole win recorded against the 0-4 Jerome Rivera. A loss here would be not just 1-5 but three in a row for Zhumagulov, and in a division as poorly regarded by top brass as flyweight, that's a death sentence. Which is tragic. As always in the flyweight division, both of these men are very, very good at what they do. Johnson's wrestling defense is a little iffy and Zhumagulov's offense is a little too reckless, but they held regional championships at one of the world's toughest weight classes for a reason. But Johnson tends to put just a little more work into his attacks, and Zhumagulov tends to fade just a little too much as fights wear on, and I cannot help feeling this is the end of the road for Zhako. Charles Johnson by decision. WOMEN'S FLYWEIGHT: Jennifer Maia (19-9-1, #8) vs Maryna Moroz (11-3, #15) Sometimes things look worse than they are. I harp on the "three losses in a row" standard of danger the UFC tends to employ, but Jennifer Maia is a case study in how easy that is to achieve when you're consistently at the top of your division. Maia's 2-4 over the last three years, but those losses came against Valentina Shevchenko, the women's flyweight champion and one of the best to ever do it, Katlyn Chookagian, the perennial #1 contender, and Manon Fiorot, the woman who finally unseated her. After nearly five years of UFC competition, this is the first time Jennifer Maia has been matched up against someone who isn't in the top ten of her division. Maryna Moroz is a study in question marks. She got bounced out of the lighter women's strawweight class, switched to the 125-pound division once it became available, and has gone an undefeated 3-0 since making the move. Unfortunately, those three fights took three and a half years. Since 2016, Maryna Moroz has been scheduled for 17 UFC fights: She's had 5. Sometimes she's injured, sometimes her opponent is injured, but through mutual accursed luck and the horrible life of a fighter, Moroz has only managed to make it to the cage for less than 1/3 of her prospective bouts. And I deeply hope this is one of them, because it's a fascinating test for her. Jennifer Maia is easily the best opponent of Moroz's career: She's a challenge to take down and even tougher to keep there, she's a surprisingly stiff striker, and she's enough of a submission threat on her back that Valentina shied away from getting too offensive. Moroz is an incredibly tough, gritty fighter, but her only truly effective offense comes from the top position. If she can hold Maia down and control her, let alone threaten her, it'll finally be a clarifying statement about her prospects at the upper echelon of the division. But it's a tall, tall order, and I don't know that Moroz has it in her to gut out Maia's offense and defense for fifteen minutes. Jennifer Maia by decision. BANTAMWEIGHT: Vince Morales (11-6) vs Miles Johns (12-2)These are the small fighters Dana likes. Morales and Johns, despite having plenty of back-pocket skills at their disposal, have three times as many fights as they do attempted takedowns combined, because they both came from the Contender Series and they both learned the hard way that marketability means bludgeoning people or dying in the process. Like, you can look up their B-league and regional footage. They used to grapple. Miles Jones scored three takedowns during his Contender Series fight; he's only tried to use his wrestling once in his subsequent UFC tenure. Now the Bang is inside of them, and all they can do is Stand and deliver. And bang they shall. It's going to be fun and frenetic. Johns is the cleaner striker to Morales' more brawling style, but he also likes to work in bursts of offense and tends to suffer when fighters control the pace of exchanges. He'll have to cope with the pressure of Morales continually coming at him, and when the moment comes where he realizes he needs to stop him in his tracks, by god, I hope he remembers he can shoot takedowns. Miles Johns by decision. BANTAMWEIGHT: Ricky Turcios (11-3) vs Kevin Natividad (9-3) It's cleanup time again. Ricky Turcios was the bemulleted bantamweight boss of The Ultimate Fighter 29: Jesus God Please Someone Come Help Us, We Have Been Locked In An Abandoned Tapout Shirt Factory For Eighteen Years And The Rats Come At Night. He fought his way through the tournament with a fighting style that could best be described as No, gently caress You, Dad: Constant forward momentum no matter what anyone does to him. Having successfully decisioned his way through the tournament, he entered the UFC proper and immediately got the crap beaten out of him by Aiemann Zahabi, who countered him with the forbidden technique known as "moving sideways," which MMA's best scientists are still trying to decode. The UFC would like him to succeed, so they're giving him a soft target. Kevin Natividad was not a priority pickup. They signed him as a last-minute replacement to keep Brian Kelleher on a COVID-era card, a fight he wound up not being able to take because the act of trying made him catch COVID, and the UFC has been very slowly honoring his contract since, to the tune of one fight per calendar year. He was brutally knocked out in both. Ricky Turcios isn't really a "brutal knockouts" kind of fighter, but he is a constant, unceasing pressure kind of fighter, and Natividad's been shaken by that kind of pressure before. This should not be different. Ricky Turcios by TKO. WOMEN'S STRAWWEIGHT: Vanessa Demopoulos (8-4) vs Maria Oliveira (13-5) Here, we have a battle of people who really should've lost their last fights. Maria Oliveira's struggle with Gloria de Paula was close, at least. She was outstruck and about 60% of the media scored the fight against her, but her long kicks and constant flak-field punching served not just to keep her opponent at bay but to keep the judges more engaged with what she was doing than what her opponent was landing. Vanessa Demopoulos has much less of an excuse. She's a grappler first and foremost, which is why Jinh Yu Frey beat her so soundly that 90% of box scores had Frey running away with a seemingly easy decision, but as always, the judges are the only ones that matter. Demopoulos got the split decision nod for reasons unknown, and now she's on a two-fight win streak and looking to force her way to the top. It's a tall order for her, unfortunately. Demopoulos isn't a great striker and Oliveira can basically filibuster her by spamming hundreds of strikes until she gives up trying to compete. Tabatha Ricci laid a very clear plan Demopoulos could follow to beat Oliveira--take her the gently caress down--but Ricci is also a skilled judoka with a strong wrestling game, and Demopoulos, at 1 out of 15 successful attempts, has a takedown accuracy of 7% in her UFC tenure. If she can't get that number up and get Oliveira down, it's going to be a very long night. Maria Oliveira by decision. BANTAMWEIGHT: Brady Hiestand (6-2) vs Fernie Garcia (10-2) I mentioned Ricky Turcios ground his way through the TUF championship; Hiestand was the grindee. Theirs was a wild, sloppy up-and-down brawl that left a number of mixed martial arts journalists breathlessly comparing it to the now-legendary Forrest Griffin vs Stephan Bonnar fight because we all desperately want to be two decades younger and once again discovering the untold wonders of a crazy new sport that feels fresh and cool and has casual audiences buzzing with curiosity as opposed to trying desperately to convince our friends that spending seven hours of their weekend in anticipation of Jairzinho Rozenstruik vs Augusto Sakai is a fun and important thing to do with their time on this cruel rock. On one hand, Hiestand displayed some quick, snappy wrestling that had Turcios repeatedly falling on his rear end; on the other, his control was so poor that he had to disengage because Turcios was repeatedly hurting him with hammerfists from his own back. Fernie Garcia, aside from giving us one of the worst pop albums of the mid-2000s, won his way into the UFC and Dana White's heart through a traditional big right hand knockout on the Contender Series, for which he was rewarded with a fight against the embattled Journey Newson, who completely outclassed him and ultimately wound up running circles around him throwing wheel kicks and right hooks while Garcia politely asked him to stop moving so he could punch him. This is essentially a pick 'em, mostly because what we've seen of both fighters are their flaws. Hiestand tired out and faded in the Turcios fight, although that's pretty easy to do when you're fighting a living hurricane; Garcia was so stifled by Newson's movement and offense that he devolved into throwing single potshots, but Newson also kicks like a mule and Hiestand does not. My inkling is Brady Hiestand by decision given Garcia's seeming difficulty with consistent pressure, but it's a coinflip of a guess. WOMEN'S FLYWEIGHT: Natália Silva (13-5-1) vs Tereza Bledá (6-0)No, seriously. There are actually a lot of eyes on this fight as an interesting prospect showcase. Natália Silva's a Jungle Fight champion who took the entire we-care-about-the-pandemic era off from the sport, joined the UFC after two and a half years on the bench and immediately put on a genuinely impressive performance by dominating a very tough opponent in Jasmine Jasudavicius in every aspect of the fight: Stinging punches, vicious calf kicks, and some incredibly fun throw reversals that saw her ragdolling Jasmine with ease. That latter bit is what people are really curious to see in this fight. Tereza Bledá is nicknamed "Ronda," half because as a twenty year-old who's only been competing for 16 months Ronda Rousey is more or less the entire sport for her generation, half because she has, thus far, been an absolute terror on the ground. Much like her inspiration her striking seems serviceable at best, but no one has been able to keep her from simply ragdolling and destroying them on the ground. I'm aware this is typically where I add the "but as a regional women's fighter she's untested" footnote, but oddly enough, Bledá actually has fought UFC-calibre competition. Against one-time Contender Series veteran Mabelly Lima, who took the 3-2 UFC competitor Luana Carolina to a decision, Bledá grounded her and broke her face open in a minute and a half; in a shootboxing-style exhibition against OKTAGON titlist, GCF champion and two-tenure UFC competitor Lucie Pudilová, Bledá repeatedly kicked her in the face between almost comically easy double-leg slams. One of these women is going to emerge as a genuinely interesting prospect for the division and I'm betting on Tereza Bledá by TKO. The brute force takedowns are going to be much harder to reverse and I don't know that Silva can stop her.
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Nov 16, 2022 19:52
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i might put 20 bucks on lewis to win then fall asleep before the fight happens
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Nov 16, 2022 20:11
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holy poo poo, carl the sherman/acosta breakdown is An Art
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Nov 16, 2022 20:14
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LobsterMobster posted:holy poo poo, carl it was 10/10
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Nov 16, 2022 20:36
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Curious what you lads think of this podcast episode from Dan Carlin https://dchhaddendum.libsyn.com/ep23-boxing-with-ghosts I found it extremely hard to listen to, a bunch of boring old gatekeepers who are convinced that the boxers of yore could demolish the boxers of today. Like - I'm not even a casual fan of boxing. I don't even think I've watched an entire fight from bell to bell. I know only about boxing's reputation for padded records and awful promotional feuds. Still, a lot of the 'expert opinions' in here came off as insane ramblings of your uncle who thinks that the new kids are all sissies.
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Nov 16, 2022 20:40
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Tangy Zizzle posted:Curious what you lads think of this podcast episode from Dan Carlin We're talking about it in the boxing thread: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=0&threadid=3881320&perpage=40&pagenumber=163#post527773787
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Nov 16, 2022 21:30
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LobsterMobster posted:holy poo poo, carl ilmucche posted:it was 10/10 thank you kindly, it pains me chase sherman is my muse
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Nov 16, 2022 21:38
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LobsterMobster posted:holy poo poo, carl Listen: CarlCX has come unstuck in time. Carl has gone to sleep a senile widower and awakened on his wedding day. He has walked through an octagon door in 2019 and come out another one in 1941. He has gone back through that door to find himself with Chase Sherman 1963. He has seen his birth and death many times, he says, and pays random visits to all the events in between.
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Nov 16, 2022 21:41
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ISRAEL ADESANYA ARRESTED FOR BRASS KNUCKLES ... At JFK Airport
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Nov 16, 2022 22:20
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Why didn't bader let go of that kimura after rumbled passed his guard. It no longer has a use if you're mounted right?
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Nov 16, 2022 22:27
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free izzy? i don't really care what happens to him actually. That police state tho.
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Nov 16, 2022 22:38
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Nierbo posted:Why didn't bader let go of that kimura after rumbled passed his guard. It no longer has a use if you're mounted right? I'm legitimately convinced it was less a kimura and more a desperate attempt to stop Rumble from hitting him with his power hand by clinging to it for dear life.
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Nov 16, 2022 22:40
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https://twitter.com/Grabaka_Hitman/status/1592997095942029313
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Nov 16, 2022 22:45
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deleted already
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Nov 16, 2022 23:03
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lol they were a gift from a fan https://twitter.com/arielhelwani/status/1592998511347662848?s=20&t=Cp2nnQD9zGfOF3qUVGLBLg
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Nov 16, 2022 23:03
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ilmucche posted:deleted already Caposa tweeting that Izzy was already on the plane when TMZ reported
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Nov 16, 2022 23:30
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Luigi Thirty posted:lol they were a gift from a fan a pereira fan
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Nov 17, 2022 01:37
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Much like Lewis vs Spivak is a letdown after UFC 281, this B League Preview is a let down coming after Carl's Breakdown Bellator 288 - Friday, November 18 Main Card - 9PM ET, ShowTime Light Heavyweight Title - Vadim Nemkov vs Corey “Overtime” Anderson Nemkov is 15-2, 7-0 in Bellator, with 10 TKOs. His last loss came in 2016 by decision to Karl Albrektsson in RIZIN. He is a large Russian Sambo man who punches and kicks and submits people very well. Anderson, the innovator of Beastin 25/8, is 16-5, 3-0 in Bellator, with 8 TKO wins. His last defeat came at the legendarily powerful Polish fists of Jan Blachowicz in 2020. This is the REEEEEMAAAAATCH! Last time these guys faced each other, the fight got called early when the participants bonked heads, resulting in a nasty cut on Nemkov’s forehead. Corey was winning up to that point via the secret art of Rasslin’. He’ll need to lean heavily on that skillset again to win the title. Lightweight Title - Patricky “Pitbull” Freire vs Usman Nurmagomedov Freire the Lesser is 24-10, 15-8 in Bellator, with 16 TKO wins. He won the vacant title by knocking out Peter Queally last year. Nurmagomedov is 15-0, 4-0 in Bellator, with 8 TKOs and 4 submission wins. His last 3 wins have all come inside the first round. Usman looks very solid on paper, but his level of competition hasn’t been the most stellar. Though, it should be said that Patricky doesn’t have a tremendous resume, either. It’s not terrible, but it’s nowhere near the level of guys Patricio has beat. Honestly, in a just world, these guys are just keeping things warm for Tofiq Musayev. Featherweight - Daniel “Drake” Weichel vs Timur “Imam” Khizriev Weichel is 42-13, 11-5 in Bellator. He has 22 subs and 6 TKO wins overall. He’s on a six fight lose one, win one streak, which isn’t great since he just won a fight in May. Khizriev is 11-0 with 3 TKOs and 1 submission win. His resume is a bit thin, with most of his opponents having very little experience. He last fought in September 2021, winning by submission. Weichel could get the first win streak since 2017, but that seems unlikely. Looks like he’s in here to be a recognizable name for Timur to wallop. Heavyweight - Tyrell Fortune vs Daniel “The American Predator” James Fortune is 12-2, with 8 TKO and 1 submission win, with all of his bouts taking place in Bellator. His last fight came in April, where he punched out Rakim Cleveland in 98 seconds. James is 13-6 with 8 TKOs and 4 submission wins. He’s on a 3-fight, all TKO finish streak. James doesn’t seem bad, but his opponents haven’t seemed very good. Fortune should truck him with ease. Welterweight - “Vicious” Roman Faraldo vs Levan Chokheli Faraldo is 8-0, all wins coming by TKO, with 6 coming in the first round. He’s 5-0 in Bellator. Chokheli is 10-2, with 9 TKO wins, all 9 coming in the first round. He’s 1-2 in Bellator, most recently having been submitted by Goiti Yamauchi. Both dudes love punching, but I think Faraldo is better at it. PUNCH TIME! Prelim Card - 6PM ET, YouTube Featherweight - Otto Rodrigues vs Khasan “Black Wolf” Askhabov Rodrigues is 13-1, with 6 submission wins. His lone loss came in his second ever pro bout. Five of his first eight opponents do not have Tapology pages, which is really scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of fighting irrelevance. His last win came in July 2021. Askhabov is 23-2, with 6 TKOs and 12 submission wins. Six of his first 11 wins are guys sans Tapology pages. Good stuff from both these can obliterators. Askhabov’s first loss came in 2015, getting submitted by sex criminal Hermes Franca. His other defeat was in 2019, but he did bounce back with a win in 2020, which is the last time he’s competed professionally. Both fighters have impressive looking records, but upon briefly digging into things, a lot of their opponents were either cans outright, or lower level can crushers themselves. There might be some skill here, but I’m wary. Middleweight - Imamshafi Aliev vs Sean Connor Fallon Aliev is 8-0, boasting 3 TKOs and 2 submissions. He’s beat a slew of Who’s That fighters, including my new favorite, Pim Kusters. He most recently fought on one of Khabib’s “not for American audiences” Eagle FC cards, winning by arm triangle choke in August. Fallon is 16-7 with 10 submission wins. He’s also mostly won against regional scrubs, including a pair of victories over the currently 2-7 Chris Blevins. I was going to commend Sean for clawing his way out of being 3-5 early on, but it seems pretty easy to rattle off a bunch of wins in a row against your kid’s gym teacher, your gym teacher’s kid, and DJ Wigley. Screw these two, I want to see Pim Kusters vs DJ Wigley. Lightweight - Killys Mota vs Jairo “Mumuzinho” Pacheco Mota is 13-3, with 6 TKOs and 4 submission wins. He’s 2-2 in Bellator. He has defeated Akihiro Gono and My Main Man Mandel “Rat Garbage” Nallo, so he is my Forever Enemy. Pacheco is 7-0 with a pair each of TKO and submission wins. Shock of all shocks, he’s beat up mostly scrub-tier Brazilian regional guys. I don’t think Pacheco is going to win, unless Rhalber Bernardo and his 8-6 record are more impressive than they look. Lightweight - Archie “King” Colgan vs Jesse “Bigrig” Hannam Colgan is 5-0, with 3 TKOs and 1 submission win. He is 3-0 in Bellator, with 2 TKO finishes. Hannam is 2-1, with one TKO and one submission win. His victories have come against the currently 0-3 Casey Goulet, and his debut fight was over the most hapless man in combat sports, the 1-43 Kenneth Allen. Oh, his one loss came to Johnny “Big Poppa Hoppa” Hopper, and the fortitude to continue fighting after losing to someone called that is unmeasurable. Colgan is going to kill this guy. Featherweight - Lucas “Skywalker” Brennan vs “Slick” Nick Talavera Brennan is 7-0, all inside Bellator, with 5 submissions and 1 TKO win. His last three fights have all ended inside the first round, all by choke. Best protect ya neck! Talavera is 5-1 with all 5 wins by way of submission. The only person who had more than one win at the time they fought Nick, the guy was 7-12. Uh oh! Normally, against two solid fighters who are very good on the ground, the fight often turns into Tepid Kickboxing, as neither man wants to make the mistake that opens them up for a takedown, so it’s a lot of pecking jabs and timid lowkicks. Brennan is probably a lot better, so I expect him to swiftly truck Talavera and tap him out easily. Light Heavyweight - Sullivan “Sully” Cauley vs Jay Radick Cauley is 4-0, all inside the world famous Bellator Circlegon. He has won every single fight by first round TKO. Most notably, he bonked Ben “Big Tuna” Parish in January. Sure, Parish isn’t really notable, but at least there’s a chance you’ve heard of him, instead of Deon Clash. Radick is 3-0, with 1 TKO and 2 submission wins, all of those also coming inside the first round. None of his former opponents currently have winning records. Radick also hasn’t fought since 2019. Seems like a bad mix! Cauley is going to do some significant violence upon this man. Middleweight - Jordan Newman vs Jayden “The Tank” Taulker Newman is 4-0, all in Bellator, with 2 TKOs. His pro debut was a win over the also pro-ly debuting Joseph “Ugly Man” Holmes. One guy is in the UFC, one guy is on the Bellator prelims. Life is a series of sliding doors, baby! Taulker is 2-2 with 1 TKO win, and both losses also coming by TKO. He’s also got an 0-4 boxing record, with 2 TKO losses. Newman should obliterate Taulker with his great muscles and strength. Featherweight - Laird Anderson vs Rob “Big Papagiorgio” Fenicle Laird is 2-0, both fights coming in Bellator, with 1 submission win. He’s also got some grappling matches, including a kneebar loss to Kade Ruotolo in 2020. I could tell you that Fenicle is 2-2, with both wins coming by first round heel hook. I could point out that his debut fight was a win over Tye Knuckles. I could say he’s on a two-fight skid. But I don’t care about those facts. Not in this instance. All I care about is BIG PAPAGIORGIO B I G P A P A G I O R G I O Featherweight - Isaiah “The Central Valley Gangster” Hokit vs Matias “Baby Face” Nader Hokit is 1-1, both fights in Bellator. He lost his debut via 10-second knockout, but bounced back to defeat Theodore “Head Taker” Macuka via first round rear naked choke in February. Nader is 3-0, all first round finishes. He’s got a TKO and two back to back submissions, including a triangle over BIG PAPAGIORGIO in July. Looks like I have found another Forever Enemy. Hokit’s nickname is pretty dumb and way too long. Heavyweight - Wladmir “Blanka” Gouvea vs Kory “The Monster” Moegenburg Gouvea has no record to speak of. I don’t mean there are scant accomplishments, I mean he has 0 fights, 0 amateur bouts, 0 exhibitions, 0 grappling matches. Nothing of a combative sports nature to be found. Moegenburg is 2-4 with all 4 losses coming by TKO, 3 in the first round. He most recently fought in September, getting ground and pounded. Seems like a short turn around, huh? 
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Nov 17, 2022 02:34
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Bluedeanie posted:I'm legitimately convinced it was less a kimura and more a desperate attempt to stop Rumble from hitting him with his power hand by clinging to it for dear life. That makes more sense.
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Nov 17, 2022 02:39
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I read the Art Davie "story of UFC 1" book this month and here is a Twitter thread full of samples as to why you should also read it, because it's outstanding https://twitter.com/Boco_T/status/1589835581869395968
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Nov 17, 2022 02:42
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GDT for the weekend. First up tonight, Invicta FC 50! https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4017706
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Nov 17, 2022 03:10
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Fight week, pets week continues with ONE on Amazon 4. Sadly, it's a bit thin in terms of quantity Joseph Lasiri's pup  Mariia Molchanova's cat 
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Nov 17, 2022 03:43
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what they lack in quantity they make up for in quality.
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Nov 17, 2022 04:30
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Absolutely top-tier cat.
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Nov 17, 2022 05:02
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