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I remember a few years ago there was a gif making around of some kind of hell turtle in an aquarium casually ripping a live mouse in two… I'd keep my distance, is what I'm saying.
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Nov 29, 2022 19:29
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Captain Hygiene posted:Regular snapping turtles just look mean and grumpy, the alligator ones look like angry hellspawn that got timewarped in from prehistoric times. the funny thing is, the common turtles are the aggressive ones that will gently caress you up for getting close while the loggerheads are pretty chill so long as you don't put anything in their mouths.
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Nov 29, 2022 19:30
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turtles are so fuckin weird man
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Nov 29, 2022 19:32
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Mr. Nice! posted:the funny thing is, the common turtles are the aggressive ones that will gently caress you up for getting close while the loggerheads are pretty chill so long as you don't put anything in their mouths. Which is fair, you stick something in my mouth and I'm gonna have a problem with it too
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Nov 29, 2022 19:33
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Ablative posted:Which is fair, you stick something in my mouth and I'm gonna have a problem with it too Eh, depends on what is being stuck in my mouth. I might enjoy it.
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Nov 29, 2022 19:48
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Clint has some opinions on Snapping Turtles. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lwd4bPVHA6w https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KszwZ6HSMo0
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Nov 29, 2022 19:51
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Snapping turtles are awesome as long as you don't gently caress with them. Had to help one across the road on a base when I was in the Air Force, thing was the size of a full size semi tire, we used a walking cane to basically drag him across the road as he gaped his mouth threateningly at us. Must've been at least 50 year old turtle. Guy was living in a retention pond with Alligators, if he was that big nobody was willing to gently caress with him. CommieGIR fucked around with this message at 19:58 on Nov 29, 2022 |
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Nov 29, 2022 19:55
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https://i.imgur.com/6rZi96Y.gifv
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Nov 29, 2022 20:04
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And it's still there to this day
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Nov 29, 2022 20:06
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Here's the video if you want audio: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDsJNJgvafs
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Nov 29, 2022 20:08
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Cartoon Man posted:This motherfucker would absolutely crush your skull in its mouth, why the gently caress would you pick it up! Lowtax?
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Nov 29, 2022 20:14
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Found the classic, for the love of god please unmute this: https://i.imgur.com/QRx5hGt.mp4
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Nov 29, 2022 20:16
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Not only do common snappers have way more reach than alligator snappers, they have enough neck and speed to strike like a snake. Alligator snappers are like bear traps, just avoid the sharp end and you're fine. Common snappers are like a bear trap on an RC car with a toddler at the controls.
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Nov 29, 2022 20:31
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HenryJLittlefinger posted:Not only do common snappers have way more reach than alligator snappers, they have enough neck and speed to strike like a snake. Alligator snappers are like bear traps, just avoid the sharp end and you're fine. Common snappers are like a bear trap on an RC car with a toddler at the controls. Now I just want to put a snapper on an rc car and zoom around.
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Nov 29, 2022 20:45
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"Does A Snapper On An RC Car Count As A Technical" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,
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Nov 29, 2022 20:48
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Snapping turtles feed by just laying around with their mouths open, wiggling their tongues around so it looks like a worm and then waiting for something to decide to check it out. This is also how I attract mates.
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Nov 29, 2022 20:49
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CommieGIR posted:Must've been at least 50 year old turtle. Guy was living in a retention pond with Alligators, if he was that big nobody was willing to gently caress with him. https://twitter.com/bornakang/status/1597033440339107841?s=46&t=u8XwxxPBKDeBk9hnNX75HQ
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Nov 29, 2022 20:58
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Cartoon Man posted:This motherfucker would absolutely crush your skull in its mouth, why the gently caress would you pick it up! Is this the new super Mario movie
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Nov 29, 2022 21:16
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Entropic posted:https://twitter.com/bornakang/status/1597033440339107841?s=46&t=u8XwxxPBKDeBk9hnNX75HQ You've gotta suck on em for awhile before you try to crunch through the shell, idiot
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Nov 29, 2022 21:47
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I've seen a youtube of an otter disemboweling an alligator turtle so they're not completely invulnerable.
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Nov 29, 2022 21:57
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Sagebrush posted:Is this the new super Mario movie this is clearly the 90s Dinosaurs show, you can see on that guy's face that he was just called not the momma
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Nov 29, 2022 22:30
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Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:I've seen a youtube of an otter disemboweling an alligator turtle so they're not completely invulnerable. I once lived in a condo that had a large pond out back. We populated it with ducks and it was already full of Florida softshell turtles (the doofiest looking things). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQpLRRlQwIo I guess a family of otters found their way in via the drainage system and started terrorizing the resident animals. You'd be sitting on the porch and the things would pop out of the water, grab a sunbathing turtle, flip it upside down, drag it into the water by it's rear end, and swim off chittering excitedly to themselves while the poor softshell was left to right itself and rocket up the bank. The Florida sofshell can loving move when it wants to. They kinda hop when scared or angry, all four legs propelling the body up off the ground like a wind-up toy. The otters went after the ducks, too. Indian Runners and Pekin ducks, so they couldn't fly very well. Grab them by the tail, drag 'em down into the water, and let 'em go to pop up like an angry, loud cork. That lasted until they taunted the Boxer dog enough that she went in to rescue her ducks. No one was happy with the result, least of all Roxy when she found out she couldn't swim. Scared the piss out of every other animal there though!
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Nov 29, 2022 23:17
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I had a pet snapping turtle as a kid. We named it Fluffy.
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Nov 29, 2022 23:17
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https://i.imgur.com/jTXVHSl.mp4
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Nov 29, 2022 23:45
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jesus watch out!
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Nov 29, 2022 23:51
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madeintaipei posted:I once lived in a condo that had a large pond out back. We populated it with ducks and it was already full of Florida softshell turtles (the doofiest looking things). W...was Roxy OK? 
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Nov 29, 2022 23:54
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Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:jesus watch out! He is risen, though perhaps a little too high. Hobnob fucked around with this message at 00:57 on Nov 30, 2022 |
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Nov 30, 2022 00:47
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Hey, if bearin' a cross was easy we'd all be doin' it.
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Nov 30, 2022 01:02
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Robobot posted:Hey, if bearin' a cross was easy we'd all be doin' it. Where's Simon of Cyrene when you need him?
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Nov 30, 2022 01:05
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Nov 30, 2022 01:20
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Unperson_47 posted:W...was Roxy OK? Of course! Wouldn't let my girl down. Boxers have big chests. She floated, head up, without knowing what to do but attack the water. By the time I got down the bank, her back legs found ground and kept going. She still thought she was drowning until I grabbed the scruff of her neck and pulled her up. Imagine a 70lb. Boxer who loves you, thinks you saved her life, and is covered in muck. That all ended up on me, all four legs clinging and head on my neck. So dramatic. Three adults and four children laughing at her. Second favorite dog of all time. The one to the left here: 
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Nov 30, 2022 01:22
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sheesh you'd think a carpenter'd know better
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Nov 30, 2022 01:54
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Via Dormitor.
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Nov 30, 2022 01:58
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thepopmonster posted:Via Dormitor. I am rather shocked to see something like this out of Germany
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Nov 30, 2022 02:02
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mischief posted:Any time I see someone holding one I think back to my neighbor's sandbox when we were really young. A massive snapping turtle had decided to nest there, right next to a really deep part of the creek. His dad went out there all indignant with a push broom to relocate the thing and it literally snapped the handle in half. sounds like it's their creek now
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Nov 30, 2022 02:04
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Imagine if Ernest had used snapping turtles for paratroopers in Ernest Goes To Camp.
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Nov 30, 2022 02:16
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madeintaipei posted:Of course! Wouldn't let my girl down. Oh thank goodness. It was pretty ambiguous in your original story. Good dog(s). 
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Nov 30, 2022 02:18
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jesus what a moron
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Nov 30, 2022 02:24
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repiv posted:"Does A Snapper On An RC Car Count As A Technical" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate, I'm going to have to call it an APC. The carrier might not be armoured but the personnel is, still counts. The Lone Badger fucked around with this message at 02:41 on Nov 30, 2022 |
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Nov 30, 2022 02:35
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I didn't know otters were assholes. I figured that story ended with them eating the ducks, not dunking them.
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Nov 30, 2022 02:53
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