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Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

TheBizzness posted:

For those of you who aren’t masochists or dumb like me and don’t listen to Bill Simmons, he and Peter Schrager are floating the idea of Brady coming back to the Pats.

Some of their reasons are terrible (good Oline and receivers!) but I cannot express how much I would LOVE this.

Please Tom, come back and get your face sacked off by Chubb, JP, Von Miller, Quinnen, etc and finish last in the division. I loving dare you.

yes, this list of pass rushers will surely be the ones to get to him

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fsif
Jul 18, 2003

Why on earth would Brady want to go back?

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere posted:

yes, this list of pass rushers will surely be the ones to get to him

If only someone could make up the list of all pass rushers that TFF hyped up to murder Brady on the field prior to almost every game and then failed.

15 years of “well nevertheless” energy.

mcmagic
Jul 1, 2004

If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!
Josh Allen only had like 16 and change fantasy points last night. He just isn't very good.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

fsif posted:

Why on earth would Brady want to go back?

Real answer? He wouldn’t. But fun chaos answer? If it was contingent on Belichick being fired and so coming back he can flex over that.

Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002

Impossibly Perfect Sphere posted:

yes, this list of pass rushers will surely be the ones to get to him

? They've succeeded against the Patriots over the past 2 years but I guess in some warped reality you guys are JUST about to turn the corner!! You got this!

TheBizzness
Oct 5, 2004

Reign on me.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere posted:

yes, this list of pass rushers will surely be the ones to get to him

Lol the Dolphins pass rushers (and Von Miller) have always gotten to Brady and the point was the division is now much better than any time during his career here.

Stick to dunking on bad QBs.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Amy Pole Her posted:

? They've succeeded against the Patriots over the past 2 years but I guess in some warped reality you guys are JUST about to turn the corner!! You got this!

Brady would be better than Mac even given a dogshit offensive line if just for his ability to pathetically go into the fetal position and avoid the kill shot hits.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

Amy Pole Her posted:

? They've succeeded against the Patriots over the past 2 years but I guess in some warped reality you guys are JUST about to turn the corner!! You got this!

Like, nothing I said suggested that. But ok.

Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

football.

tom brady is dead irl

YOLOsubmarine
Oct 19, 2004

When asked which Pokemon he evolved into, Kamara pauses.

"Motherfucking, what's that big dragon shit? That orange motherfucker. Charizard."

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

If only someone could make up the list of all pass rushers that TFF hyped up to murder Brady on the field prior to almost every game and then failed.

15 years of “well nevertheless” energy.

Brady quit football for like 3 months because Von Miller gave him a bloody nose. He’d never agree to play behind the Pats current OL, he’s too soft.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
I imagine Kraft firing Bill and then signing Brady to look something like this.

https://youtu.be/p2THgnbpgsM

Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002

Impossibly Perfect Sphere posted:

Like, nothing I said suggested that. But ok.

Was just following your lead. It’s funny to think patriots fans think Brady would ever come back AND it’d be anything but a disaster

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


fsif posted:

Why on earth would Brady want to go back?

If he's adamant he'll never retire, it's unlikely he'd stick with Tampa forever, and on the chance Miami doesn't offer him ownership/whatever he wants the thought of Bill having to come crawling back to him and apologizing would almost certainly be an enticing thought worth his consideration

I don't think it happens at all obviously. Which is fine. Them being stuck with terrible Mac and broken Bill and rapist Patricia for at least a decade and unable to do poo poo as they're clearly getting worse by the day is far funnier and more deserved than anything the Tom+Bill saga has left to offer

Diva Cupcake
Aug 15, 2005

https://twitter.com/FO_ASchatz/status/1598731683754545152

fsif
Jul 18, 2003

Tom Brady ran away the minute he didn't have a top five offensive line. He'd sooner hang out with his children than let Conor McDermott block for him.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!
Tom Brady back on the Pats would be hilarious and awesome I don't give a poo poo what anyone says. Let's get McDaniels fired and back in the fold too since we're writing fantasy novels here.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

fsif posted:

Tom Brady ran away the minute he didn't have a top five offensive line. He'd sooner hang out with his children than let Conor McDermott block for him.

Uh huh

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

TheBizzness posted:

Lol the Dolphins pass rushers (and Von Miller) have always gotten to Brady and the point was the division is now much better than any time during his career here.

Stick to dunking on bad QBs.

Yeah man just think of all those times the Miami pass rush ended Brady's season.

t a s t e
Sep 6, 2010


This nerd is a fraud

TheBizzness
Oct 5, 2004

Reign on me.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere posted:

Yeah man just think of all those times the Miami pass rush ended Brady's season.

I didn’t say anything about ending his season so I’m unsure why you’re ignoring the actual point of the post to create strawmen and argue about minutia.

pasaluki
Feb 27, 2008

THIS WHAGON HAS NO BREAKS! I HAVE THE HEART OF THE BUUFALO the strength OF THE MOUNTAIN, THE FURY OF THE THUNDER AND MY WILL IS UNBREAKABLE! I will not surrender to KNOW ONE

t a s t e posted:

This nerd is a fraud

The Patriots DVOA improved after losing last night.
Schatz is such a simp that he is even willing to say the Bills are too amazing and made the Patriots better before he can say the Patriots suck.

MalarkeyToboggan
Jan 4, 2015



Finally got a chance to watch the game. It somehow felt wrong every time the Bills had to punt. I would´ve liked to see the no punt streak live on forever against New England.

Paracausal
Sep 5, 2011

Oh yeah, baby. Frame your suffering as a masterpiece. Only one problem - no one's watching. It's boring, buddy, boring as death.
Hook it into my veins
https://twitter.com/SalSports/status/1598744275650772994?t=w7Qy2cMmR52_Z97t6f8aRQ&s=19

Sheen Sheen
Nov 18, 2002
That last caller is the most Massachusetts man in history

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012



:agreed: completely with all of it, then started laughing at the last one

Professor Funk
Aug 4, 2008

WE ALL KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN
WILL SOMEBODY TALK ABOUT MAC JONES

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!
https://twitter.com/scottzolak/status/1598508492226285568

Diva Cupcake
Aug 15, 2005

Rankins back and Darrisaw out is real good for the defensive line matchup vs Vikings.

mcmagic
Jul 1, 2004

If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!
If Jefferson doesn't go completely loving insane for like 220 and 3 TDs which is possible, on paper the Jets should win this game.

(I know the more I say that the more likely they are to lose)

Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

football.

mcmagic posted:

If Jefferson doesn't go completely loving insane for like 220 and 3 TDs which is possible, on paper the Jets should win this game.

(I know the more I say that the more likely they are to lose)

It's 1pm Kirk Cousins. You're screwed, buddy.

TheBizzness
Oct 5, 2004

Reign on me.
Are you factoring in the refs and fumble luck of which the Jets have none?

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!
I've talked to the refs and they've already decided they are going to rule against the Jets in big spots because *checks notes*, they love the color purple.

Wrar
Sep 9, 2002


Soiled Meat

Impossibly Perfect Sphere posted:

I've talked to the refs and they've already decided they are going to rule against the Jets in big spots because *checks notes*, they love the color purple.

Tbf purple is a great color.

Nervous
Jan 25, 2005

Why, hello, my little slice of pecan pie.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere posted:

I've talked to the refs and they've already decided they are going to rule against the Jets in big spots because *checks notes*, they love the color purple.

It is the color of royalty after all.

TheBizzness
Oct 5, 2004

Reign on me.
Im just slightly colorblind and the only color I can’t make out is purple :(

sirtommygunn
Mar 7, 2013



We're all colorblind, only shrimp can see the truth of reality.

Diva Cupcake
Aug 15, 2005

There’s enough good matchups on offense and defense where we can be optimistic. The issue is that the Vikings have a horseshoe up their rear end and the Jets can still Jets.

https://twitter.com/minakimes/status/1598808051238129664?s=46&t=UYh-Ejby7dUQGdlSNh3KIg

th3t00t
Aug 14, 2007

GOOD CLEAN FOOTBALL

Professor Funk posted:

WILL SOMEBODY TALK ABOUT MAC JONES
https://twitter.com/JoeYavicoli/status/1598767577915920400?s=20&t=rFMMV3KBWnyN6EpyYeul-Q

edit: This classic from last season in the comments of the other one

th3t00t fucked around with this message at 01:04 on Dec 3, 2022

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Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

football.

Sounds like we’re probably down both tackles, as originally expected.

https://twitter.com/miamidolphins/status/1599144136640462848?s=46&t=WPDI0X0Tmc9-oiI_RO5dbQ

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