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Should I step down as head of twitter This poll is closed. |
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| Yes |
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420 | 4.43% |
| No |
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69 | 0.73% |
| Goku |
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9001 | 94.85% |
| Total: | 9490 votes | ||
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TO: TWITTER EMPLOYEES FROM: ELGON MUNK (UR BOSS! "PAPA") SUBJECT: PAYROLL u now paid in tweet coins tyvm Ror posted:it might incentivize people to live at the office if they provided complimentary meals for the employees, i wonder if elon has ever thought of that why pay for meals when you can just eat the corpse of the twitter employee in the coding hammock next to you?
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Dec 8, 2022 05:26
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Ror posted:it might incentivize people to live at the office if they provided complimentary meals for the employees, i wonder if elon has ever thought of that That billion in debt interest isn't going to pay itself, the couches cost $259 a night
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Dec 8, 2022 05:27
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Bugsy posted:https://twitter.com/JamesClayton5/status/1600659429925351426 Where are the cages for the children?
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Dec 8, 2022 05:40
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Imagine seeing the crunch cycle at game studios and go "actually, I would like to do this!" also, what sort of poo poo landlord apartment is this?
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Dec 8, 2022 05:42
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Neddy Seagoon posted:I'm sure they've fully squared this with USA and EU financial regulatory bodies with months of review and oversight in preparation to ensure customer transactional data is secured and managed correctly. comedy option: they just copy paste one of those open source crypto wallets that keep the keys on your phone
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Dec 8, 2022 05:45
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TelevisedInsanity posted:Imagine seeing the crunch cycle at game studios and go "actually, I would like to do this!" Yeah *most* crunch cycles are limited time duration to push a product out the door, but with this bizarre add new features/delete features/refactor features/remove the new features thing they have going on at twitter this seems like it would just be an endless cycle and that is loving depressing.
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Dec 8, 2022 05:45
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  Withnail fucked around with this message at 05:52 on Dec 8, 2022 |
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Dec 8, 2022 05:48
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how many employees is musk planning to impregnate in these beds?
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Dec 8, 2022 05:53
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TelevisedInsanity posted:Imagine seeing the crunch cycle at game studios and go "actually, I would like to do this!" The kind only the son of an apartheid emerald miner could think was a good way to treat those working for him. I'm waiting for the reveal they're forbidden to leave Twitter premises if they're not meeting arbitrary code deadlines. Didn't make 400,000 lines of code this week? Sorry, you're not going home til they're done! Family? Twitter is your family, now take your weekly scrip of TwitCoin and stop complaining or you're fired and your visa's revoked.
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Dec 8, 2022 05:54
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"twitcoin is not Dogecoin, it's better, it'll be worth millions, you'll see, twitcoin TO THE MOON" ~ somebody who isn't working at Twitter, but wants to, even though they got a degree in economics
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Dec 8, 2022 06:01
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BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:They literally just launched a new feature “Twitter spaces” which was launched by a pop up stating “What the %#^# is that thing?!?! Let’s find out together.” So I still don’t know what it does since they were trying to be cute about it but it’s a strange time to downsize your features and say you’re focusing on improvements Trying to be cute and coy about stupid poo poo is peak Musk. Richer than god and incapable of getting to the point without tripping over it.
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Dec 8, 2022 06:01
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lol hes doing another payment processor thing
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Dec 8, 2022 06:03
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Bad Purchase posted:how many employees is musk planning to impregnate in these beds? Zero. Women are not hardcore coders so they were all out around the third purge.
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Dec 8, 2022 06:08
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YOUR HONOR WE WERE MERELY TRYING TO SHOW HOW THE MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY EMPTY OFFICES COULD BE REPURPOSED AS IKEA SHOW ROOMS! NO ONE WAS VIOLATING CITY CODES OR LABOR LAWS!!!!
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Dec 8, 2022 06:09
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How's the guy who reverse engineers stuff but doesn't know how the search backend works doing
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Dec 8, 2022 06:09
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thathonkey posted:lol hes doing another payment processor thing He's making another payment processor LIKE A DOG
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Dec 8, 2022 06:11
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Only Kindness posted:Yeah, a few pages back but my god, the layers of desolation just in these few words alone had me nearly doubled over. So not the official site (I assume it's a video game thing), but a fansite, and not the biggest fansite, but the second-biggest? And it's called hellgate-guru? What, was planethellgate already taken? Actually yes! Planet Hellgate was number 1.
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Dec 8, 2022 06:12
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Entorwellian posted:Actually yes! Planet Hellgate was number 1. lmao nice
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Dec 8, 2022 06:15
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I'm the sofas that are too short to hold a horizontal human body and too soft to support a horizontal human body so it stays horizontal, besides the body parts above and off the sofa already cause the human body to contort in very uncomfortable positions. I'm also the twitter worker that's so glad his billionaire boss couldn't fork out an extra couple hundo to ensure anyone is able to get a proper nap in.
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Dec 8, 2022 06:20
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Withnail posted:Has anyone considered that twitter moderation during the 2020 election might have leaned slightly against Trump simply because he is a loving idiot? That's the simple truth that trump, musk and all of their fellow travellers are running from: Media, social or otherwise, are actually insanely biased in their favor, because everything they believe and do is both stupid and morally repugnant. They claim they're being mistreated because they sometimes face slight pushback, but if they were actually being treated fairly, their entire media presence would range from "dude being told to shut the gently caress up and go away" to "hangin w/ mussolini."
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Dec 8, 2022 06:25
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PITY BONER posted:I'm the sofas that are too short to hold a horizontal human body and too soft to support a horizontal human body so it stays horizontal, besides the body parts above and off the sofa already cause the human body to contort in very uncomfortable positions. What's "better" is apparently there's like three good hotels really close by to Twitter HQ, but apparently Moneybag Elon didn't get rich by spending money to foot the bills to ensure his most hardcore people's basic needs are seen to.
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Dec 8, 2022 06:28
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Neddy Seagoon posted:What's "better" is apparently there's like three good hotels really close by to Twitter HQ, but apparently Moneybag Elon didn't get rich by spending money to foot the bills to ensure his most hardcore people's basic needs are seen to. Putting employees up in a hotel might give them the false impression they are allowed to leave
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Dec 8, 2022 06:29
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Tippecanoe posted:Putting employees up in a hotel might give them the false impression they are allowed to leave * extended guitar riff * Welcome to the Hotel Twitterfornia
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Dec 8, 2022 06:34
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The Saddest Rhino posted:How's the guy who reverse engineers stuff but doesn't know how the search backend works doing https://twitter.com/realGeorgeHotz/status/1599970004593946625 Having a good one. Also his profile picture really pisses me off and I don’t know why.
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Dec 8, 2022 06:39
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Ah yes, that sounds easy and a wonderful way to interact with the website. I'll just key in "how do I chop tomatoes" and be told "gently caress you that's abusive and ableist and you deny deli workers their salaries."
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Dec 8, 2022 06:42
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Ole Leon was at Paypal during the OG dot-com days right? Thats the last time I remember seeing offices with beds strung up like this. I'm sure its how he thinks 'poo poo gets done' but there's a evolutionary reason that entire model went out the window. Btw words cant describe the smell of a buncha nerds working, sleeping, and eating takeout in the same space. Regular HVAC can't turn the air over fast enough.
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Dec 8, 2022 06:44
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The Awesomesaurus posted:https://twitter.com/realGeorgeHotz/status/1599970004593946625 Okay okay okay, GUYS! I got an idea! imagine... google, but really awkward, buggy as gently caress, every search returns Elon Musk's Twitter profile as the top result and it costs $8 month.
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Dec 8, 2022 06:44
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The Saddest Rhino posted:How's the guy who reverse engineers stuff but doesn't know how the search backend works doing He's uploaded a few streams/videos to Youtube. Just looked like a lot of googling random stuff trying to get his bearings. Didn't watch the full things 'cause they were kind of boring but I did lol @ one point when he said something like, "This should be pretty simple, not hard at all." *click, click, clack-clack-clack...google...read for a bit* "Hm. Ok maybe this is more complex than I thought"
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Dec 8, 2022 06:44
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Tippecanoe posted:Putting employees up in a hotel might give them the false impression they are allowed to leave You would think concreting over all the doors and windows on the first five floors would of given people the message, but apparently not 
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Dec 8, 2022 06:45
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Your guy's bringing back ask Jeeves but for nazis
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Dec 8, 2022 06:45
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Vampire Panties posted:
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Dec 8, 2022 06:47
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Mx. posted:Your guy's bringing back ask Jeeves but for nazis The only search engine that always returns zero results
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Dec 8, 2022 06:48
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https://twitter.com/realGeorgeHotz/status/1599977399403569152 Hahahaha yeah sure man. Boy Wonder at it again
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Dec 8, 2022 06:48
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The Saddest Rhino posted:Ah yes, that sounds easy and a wonderful way to interact with the website. I'll just key in "how do I chop tomatoes" and be told "gently caress you that's abusive and ableist and you deny deli workers their salaries." I wouldn't worry about that, Elon is doing his hardest to weed out anyone who might use words like "abusive," "ableist" or "salaries." in a month's time your hypothetical responses will be nothing but crypto invites, phishing scams, epic cry laugh emoji elon retweets, and screeds against minorities, regardless of search parameters
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Dec 8, 2022 06:50
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guys, I've been working closely with Elon, and I think I've finally uncovered the vast global conspiracy that's threatening to choke the life out of this world. of course, I don't want to claim that I've done all this by myself. I had some very important people helping me from Kanye West to Jordan Peterson. what I've discovered will absolutely shock you . The Chinese have invented a special kind of nano particle that looks like lint, but it's not. it's a very sophisticated, self coagulating super intelligence. they designed it to look like lint that people would think you're crazy when you discover it. "you must be crazy. You think the lint is trying to kill you!". first of all, I didn't say it was trying to kill me. I said it was a self coagulating Superintelligence. i've spent hours photographing this and I've almost come up with the proof. Stay tuned!
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Dec 8, 2022 07:00
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grittyreboot posted:Turns out it's NOT the ice cream of the future You’re a fuckin liar
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Dec 8, 2022 07:25
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The Saddest Rhino posted:Ah yes, that sounds easy and a wonderful way to interact with the website. I'll just key in "how do I chop tomatoes" and be told "gently caress you that's abusive and ableist and you deny deli workers their salaries." I can tell you straight up it's a really stupid idea; Because it's not just going out and getting a search result it can clear and forget in the browser cache, it's pulling results and storing them appended to the initial tweet permanently in their storage system. So every single query is saved forever,AND will expand storage usage geometrically as you make a vague search term and pull THOUSANDS of hits back. For every user, and every query they make. That'd kill their system in about, oh, a day I reckon.
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Dec 8, 2022 07:29
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The Awesomesaurus posted:https://twitter.com/realGeorgeHotz/status/1599970004593946625 Is he asking Twitter randos to do his work for him?
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Dec 8, 2022 07:32
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The Awesomesaurus posted:https://twitter.com/realGeorgeHotz/status/1599977399403569152 I had to check that this was actually in response to his dumb “imagine…” tweet. Yes, of course, that tweet itself is the startup that has built a product so superior to Google’s offering for many searches. 
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Dec 8, 2022 07:35
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The Awesomesaurus posted:https://twitter.com/realGeorgeHotz/status/1599970004593946625 It's super-easy when the answer to every one of his questions is "Go to hell" or "You suck." There, add in a coin flip to determine the answer and you're done. Really impressed by the level of hardcore programmers on this project.
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