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Good Soldier Svejk
Jul 5, 2010

loquacius posted:

already set up to follow the GoT blueprint: solid book 1, excellent books 2-4, books 5 and 6 of decreasing quality, book 7 pure nonsense, ending leaves you wondering if you wasted your time

Flanagan is clearly very reverent of King's material but has also shown he's not against making changes for the sake of a better adaptation (Doctor Sleep).
Ideally he follows the books up through 5 or 6 and then diverges with the excuse that (very big spoilers)it's a different (the last?) cycle kinda like the lovely movie did by having him with the Horn

As it stands large portions of the last 3 would be incoherent/unfilmable as written anyhow, and Wizard and Glass would kill the pacing of a series and have the main cast sitting on their hands for like a year while it got filmed which seems likely why he's talking about having 2 films to wrap things up.

And yes I've thought about this a lot, perhaps too much. The Dark Tower series holds a special place in my family since it's like the one series my entire family has read through and discussed to death as it was releasing

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loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Remember when the Crimson King, the big all-powerful Satan character behind all of King's supernatural villains in all of his books, who controls the tower at the center of existence and is running a conspiracy to destroy all worlds by eating away at its foundation, finally appeared for a boss fight, and he was an old man who looks like Santa Claus and had a box of hand grenades or something

Metal-Gear-Solid-rear end scene come to think of it

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Wizard and Glass would definitely gently caress with the pacing, in that the fourth of seven books is a flashback to the main character's teenage years, but, it's also the best book, so they can't just like skip it. Gotta make it into a spinoff prequel movie or something.

You can't just cheat and make it season 1 either because The Gunslinger is a really good in-medias-res opener and the beginning point of the timeloop

Uncle Boogeyman
Jul 22, 2007


i have some bad news for you

Good Soldier Svejk
Jul 5, 2010

Uncle Boogeyman posted:

i have some bad news for you

Flanagan has done good work with Doctor Sleep and Gerald's Game so I will let myself hope

Wraith of J.O.I.
Jan 25, 2012


drake no: car tab

drake yes: tar cab

https://twitter.com/zoloftapartment/status/1601262788168515586

Mantis42
Jul 26, 2010

loquacius posted:

Remember when the Crimson King, the big all-powerful Satan character behind all of King's supernatural villains in all of his books, who controls the tower at the center of existence and is running a conspiracy to destroy all worlds by eating away at its foundation, finally appeared for a boss fight, and he was an old man who looks like Santa Claus and had a box of hand grenades or something

Metal-Gear-Solid-rear end scene come to think of it

They were explosive Harry Potter snitches (literally) and it owned.

Uncle Boogeyman
Jul 22, 2007

Good Soldier Svejk posted:

Flanagan has done good work with Doctor Sleep and Gerald's Game so I will let myself hope

I haven’t seen either. Oculus was okay. I heard Gerald’s Game was decent. Doctor Sleep looked like the worst poo poo ever.

DoombatINC
Apr 20, 2003

Here's the thing, I'm a feminist.





Some Guy TT posted:

the location shooting in police story 4 fascinates me because it looks like it was actually shot on location im way too used to location shooting just being code for yeah they gave us some tax breaks so we decided to film a bunch of scenes in these extremely generic and boring looking alleys

same except the japanese location shooting in Toxic Avenger Part 2

Good Soldier Svejk
Jul 5, 2010

Uncle Boogeyman posted:

I haven’t seen either. Oculus was okay. I heard Gerald’s Game was decent. Doctor Sleep looked like the worst poo poo ever.

I thought I would hate Doctor Sleep too, like it's an entirely unnecessary sequel and all that

And I will clarify I only watched the director's cut but I completely ate crow about that one - it's a hell of a lot better than it has any right to be, and really gruesome in some parts in a way hollywood movies don't try to be anymore

Mokelumne Trekka
Nov 22, 2015

Soon.

can someone please help me set up a movie list for the family holidays

- movie cannot be "woke"
- no more than 10 "f-bombs"
- movie cannot be "too pagan" (sorry Northman)
- movie is allowed to be made by a black person or woman, but not if they are annoying
- nudity is fine, but no sex with parts! pure and honorable marital sex is a plus
- no movie older than ten years unless it still has "good graphics"
- unambiguous morality is a plus (i.e. good vs. evil); the bad guys cannot be the U.S. military

thank you and god bless

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Mokelumne Trekka posted:

can someone please help me set up a movie list for the family holidays

- movie cannot be "woke"
- no more than 10 "f-bombs"
- movie cannot be "too pagan" (sorry Northman)
- movie is allowed to be made by a black person or woman, but not if they are annoying
- nudity is fine, but no sex with parts! pure and honorable marital sex is a plus
- no movie older than ten years unless it still has "good graphics"
- unambiguous morality is a plus (i.e. good vs. evil); the bad guys cannot be the U.S. military

thank you and god bless

just put on the Hallmark channel. that will tick all those boxes

Jesus Christ lol

Uncle Boogeyman
Jul 22, 2007

Mokelumne Trekka posted:

can someone please help me set up a movie list for the family holidays

- movie cannot be "woke"
- no more than 10 "f-bombs"
- movie cannot be "too pagan" (sorry Northman)
- movie is allowed to be made by a black person or woman, but not if they are annoying
- nudity is fine, but no sex with parts! pure and honorable marital sex is a plus
- no movie older than ten years unless it still has "good graphics"
- unambiguous morality is a plus (i.e. good vs. evil); the bad guys cannot be the U.S. military

thank you and god bless

Mad God

Pepe Silvia Browne
Jan 1, 2007

Mokelumne Trekka posted:

can someone please help me set up a movie list for the family holidays

- movie cannot be "woke"
- no more than 10 "f-bombs"
- movie cannot be "too pagan" (sorry Northman)
- movie is allowed to be made by a black person or woman, but not if they are annoying
- nudity is fine, but no sex with parts! pure and honorable marital sex is a plus
- no movie older than ten years unless it still has "good graphics"
- unambiguous morality is a plus (i.e. good vs. evil); the bad guys cannot be the U.S. military

thank you and god bless

Poor Little White Guy
Poor Little White Guy 2
Poor Little White Guy 3
Poor Little White Guy 4

DoombatINC
Apr 20, 2003

Here's the thing, I'm a feminist.





Mokelumne Trekka posted:

can someone please help me set up a movie list for the family holidays

- movie cannot be "woke"
- no more than 10 "f-bombs"
- movie cannot be "too pagan" (sorry Northman)
- movie is allowed to be made by a black person or woman, but not if they are annoying
- nudity is fine, but no sex with parts! pure and honorable marital sex is a plus
- no movie older than ten years unless it still has "good graphics"
- unambiguous morality is a plus (i.e. good vs. evil); the bad guys cannot be the U.S. military

thank you and god bless

heres a tip: "movie" your family into a big dirty hole outside and put a tarp over it and dont let them back in the house, holy poo poo

mastershakeman
Oct 28, 2008

by vyelkin

Mokelumne Trekka posted:

can someone please help me set up a movie list for the family holidays

- movie cannot be "woke"
- no more than 10 "f-bombs"
- movie cannot be "too pagan" (sorry Northman)
- movie is allowed to be made by a black person or woman, but not if they are annoying
- nudity is fine, but no sex with parts! pure and honorable marital sex is a plus
- no movie older than ten years unless it still has "good graphics"
- unambiguous morality is a plus (i.e. good vs. evil); the bad guys cannot be the U.S. military

thank you and god bless

can it have subtitles; in which case, Rare Exports & RRR

assuming no subs

The Vast of Night (this one is gonna be the best choice, by far. its very wholesome and very good, set in the old timeys)
Prospect (also wholesome, simple space scifi)
Top Gun Maverick
EEAAO
The Foreigner
Nobody
Fury Road
mission impossibles 4-6, fast five - 7?

the 'no more than 10 f-bombs' is really hard . palm springs is probably out despite being a romcom


put on the scary of 61st and tell them its antiwoke and the first 15 minutes are about awful woke people who are going to get their comeuppance

mastershakeman has issued a correction as of 20:04 on Dec 9, 2022

StashAugustine
Mar 24, 2013

Do not trust in hope- it will betray you! Only faith and hatred sustain.

Mokelumne Trekka posted:

can someone please help me set up a movie list for the family holidays

- movie cannot be "woke"
- no more than 10 "f-bombs"
- movie cannot be "too pagan" (sorry Northman)
- movie is allowed to be made by a black person or woman, but not if they are annoying
- nudity is fine, but no sex with parts! pure and honorable marital sex is a plus
- no movie older than ten years unless it still has "good graphics"
- unambiguous morality is a plus (i.e. good vs. evil); the bad guys cannot be the U.S. military

thank you and god bless

The Witch

DoombatINC
Apr 20, 2003

Here's the thing, I'm a feminist.





you watch Hard Boiled or you live in wet dirt from now on, i dont make the rules :shrug:

StashAugustine
Mar 24, 2013

Do not trust in hope- it will betray you! Only faith and hatred sustain.

The Mission could work for actual malicious compliance, it's a good religious movie about missionaries (and about how both historical Spanish and modern American imperialism sucked)

indigi
Jul 20, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 8 hours!
looking for a pretty specific movie recommendation let me know if you can think of any that meet this criteria

-fluffy confection gains sentience (ideally human sized but giant will suffice)
-man gets dome from a ghost

Mokelumne Trekka
Nov 22, 2015

Soon.

I'm only half-joking too :negative:

to their credit, I've shown them some movies that are a little "out there" (relatively speaking!) such as Drive, Ex Machina, and Phantom Thread, and they really enjoyed them. I even showed them The Last Duel and it was good, despite the grim subject matter. it can vary. it's just that when there are lots of bad words and sex, or preachy politics, the chances get lower

Mokelumne Trekka
Nov 22, 2015

Soon.

mastershakeman posted:

can it have subtitles; in which case, Rare Exports & RRR

assuming no subs

The Vast of Night (this one is gonna be the best choice, by far. its very wholesome and very good, set in the old timeys)
Prospect (also wholesome, simple space scifi)
Top Gun Maverick
EEAAO
The Foreigner
Nobody
Fury Road
mission impossibles 4-6, fast five - 7?

the 'no more than 10 f-bombs' is really hard . palm springs is probably out despite being a romcom


put on the scary of 61st and tell them its antiwoke and the first 15 minutes are about awful woke people who are going to get their comeuppance

I am on the fence about EEAAO but we'll probably watch it. I'm mildly concerned about the raunchy stuff (such as the dildo scene lol)

I work hard to get my family to experience "cinema" and not just watch geezer teasers and it sometimes works. others not.

Wraith of J.O.I.
Jan 25, 2012


Mokelumne Trekka posted:

can someone please help me set up a movie list for the family holidays

- movie cannot be "woke"
- no more than 10 "f-bombs"
- movie cannot be "too pagan" (sorry Northman)
- movie is allowed to be made by a black person or woman, but not if they are annoying
- nudity is fine, but no sex with parts! pure and honorable marital sex is a plus
- no movie older than ten years unless it still has "good graphics"
- unambiguous morality is a plus (i.e. good vs. evil); the bad guys cannot be the U.S. military

thank you and god bless

my favorite film of the 2010s, perfectly acted directed edited and written with a great score, and a semi-christmas film to boot —— todd haynes' lesbian romance masterpiece CAROL

streaming on Kanopy if your library offers it

Wraith of J.O.I.
Jan 25, 2012


this looks entertaining, curious to see the show's take on watergate and the CIA, nice drop at the end ("who really killed JFK?" lol)

https://twitter.com/HBO/status/1601275491029090304

Justin Tyme
Feb 22, 2011


Mokelumne Trekka posted:

can someone please help me set up a movie list for the family holidays

- movie cannot be "woke"
- no more than 10 "f-bombs"
- movie cannot be "too pagan" (sorry Northman)
- movie is allowed to be made by a black person or woman, but not if they are annoying
- nudity is fine, but no sex with parts! pure and honorable marital sex is a plus
- no movie older than ten years unless it still has "good graphics"
- unambiguous morality is a plus (i.e. good vs. evil); the bad guys cannot be the U.S. military

thank you and god bless

this is a good microcosm of traditional american family values because I see absolutely nothing about not being too violent, gory, or glorifying gun violence/the military

we'll tolerate daily mass shootings as long as they don't do it in the nude and say a bunch of bad words in the process

Jazerus
May 24, 2011


DoombatINC posted:

heres a tip: "movie" your family into a big dirty hole outside and put a tarp over it and dont let them back in the house, holy poo poo

indigi
Jul 20, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 8 hours!

DoombatINC posted:

heres a tip: "movie" your family into a big dirty hole outside and put a tarp over it and dont let them back in the house, holy poo poo

Fitzy Fitz
May 14, 2005




Mokelumne Trekka posted:

can someone please help me set up a movie list for the family holidays

- movie cannot be "woke"
- no more than 10 "f-bombs"
- movie cannot be "too pagan" (sorry Northman)
- movie is allowed to be made by a black person or woman, but not if they are annoying
- nudity is fine, but no sex with parts! pure and honorable marital sex is a plus
- no movie older than ten years unless it still has "good graphics"
- unambiguous morality is a plus (i.e. good vs. evil); the bad guys cannot be the U.S. military

thank you and god bless

Elf

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

sorry that’s older than 10 years, and pagan

i say swears online
Mar 4, 2005

Mokelumne Trekka posted:

can someone please help me set up a movie list for the family holidays

- movie cannot be "woke"
- no more than 10 "f-bombs"
- movie cannot be "too pagan" (sorry Northman)
- movie is allowed to be made by a black person or woman, but not if they are annoying
- nudity is fine, but no sex with parts! pure and honorable marital sex is a plus
- no movie older than ten years unless it still has "good graphics"
- unambiguous morality is a plus (i.e. good vs. evil); the bad guys cannot be the U.S. military

thank you and god bless

the witch

edit gently caress


i say swears online
Mar 4, 2005

can someone please help me set up a movie list for the family holidays

- must have a fully-erect penis

TheMopeSquad
Aug 5, 2013

Mokelumne Trekka posted:

can someone please help me set up a movie list for the family holidays

- movie cannot be "woke"
- no more than 10 "f-bombs"
- movie cannot be "too pagan" (sorry Northman)
- movie is allowed to be made by a black person or woman, but not if they are annoying
- nudity is fine, but no sex with parts! pure and honorable marital sex is a plus
- no movie older than ten years unless it still has "good graphics"
- unambiguous morality is a plus (i.e. good vs. evil); the bad guys cannot be the U.S. military

thank you and god bless

Psycho Goreman

This version in particular.

TheMopeSquad has issued a correction as of 22:41 on Dec 9, 2022

Wraith of J.O.I.
Jan 25, 2012


i say swears online posted:

can someone please help me set up a movie list for the family holidays

- must have a fully-erect penis

The Brown Bunny

Fitzy Fitz
May 14, 2005




Xaris posted:

sorry that’s older than 10 years, and pagan

But the graphics are good

Uncle Boogeyman
Jul 22, 2007

i'd rather the goods be graphic

Knight
Dec 23, 2000

SPACE-A-HOLIC
Taco Defender

i say swears online posted:

can someone please help me set up a movie list for the family holidays

- must have a fully-erect penis
Possessor Uncut

Zeroisanumber
Oct 23, 2010

Nap Ghost

Mokelumne Trekka posted:

can someone please help me set up a movie list for the family holidays

- movie cannot be "woke"
- no more than 10 "f-bombs"
- movie cannot be "too pagan" (sorry Northman)
- movie is allowed to be made by a black person or woman, but not if they are annoying
- nudity is fine, but no sex with parts! pure and honorable marital sex is a plus
- no movie older than ten years unless it still has "good graphics"
- unambiguous morality is a plus (i.e. good vs. evil); the bad guys cannot be the U.S. military

thank you and god bless

Fury Road

mastershakeman
Oct 28, 2008

by vyelkin

Mokelumne Trekka posted:

I am on the fence about EEAAO but we'll probably watch it. I'm mildly concerned about the raunchy stuff (such as the dildo scene lol)

I work hard to get my family to experience "cinema" and not just watch geezer teasers and it sometimes works. others not.

forgot to add pig, selling point is its anti portlander

Justin Tyme
Feb 22, 2011


um, dune?? hello??

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RandolphCarter
Jul 30, 2005



too woke

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