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Kal-L posted:Does the school have a Facebook page or any social media where you can contact other parents, or read their opinions? A visit is good too, but having more info about how the school is on a longer time scale can be good too. Spanish media is a good idea, we'll get on that! We've done the visit and I'm already "in" the PTO. I have no qualms about sending her to the school, it's just a question of time.
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Jan 14, 2023 17:04
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El Mero Mero posted:just celebrated our first month with the infant. Everyone keeps telling us we’re over the hurdle. it’s just all easier from here, right? right?! yes in the sense that you will get more and more sleep soon and everything is harder with less sleep
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Jan 14, 2023 23:14
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The situation becomes less primal and more solvable after that first 100 days.
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Jan 14, 2023 23:17
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my wife and I didnt sleep train either of our 2 kids (6mth and 3), it was pretty gnarly but at the ~6 month mark they just magically sleep every night? The younger one has been doing 7 hour stints for the past few weeks, the older has been slowly ramping up over time, and having dropped the afternoon nap now does 12 hours 7pm-7am every night
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Jan 14, 2023 23:28
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KirbyKhan posted:The situation becomes less primal and more solvable after that first 100 days. Yeah it's a silly name but I totally believe in the 4th trimester.
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Jan 14, 2023 23:30
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I would give anything for my kid to sleep a solid 12 hours, or even a solid 8. She also eats like poo poo so I'm pretty sure she's a pod person living on photosynthesis and emotional energy.
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Jan 15, 2023 00:00
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We never did the hardcore cry-it-out sleep training stuff, just did some smaller tactics as per Precious Little Sleep (which I rec to babyhavers) and it worked p well, but the #1 factor leading to better sleep from her (and therefore from us) was putting her in a crib in her own room instead of the bassinet in ours
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Jan 15, 2023 00:13
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KirbyKhan posted:I trust 0 memories from that first 3 months. It's all hazy and abstract. My brain did it on purpose to trick me into having a second. Yeah 3 months was def the hurdle for me. Things start to get into a routine for like a second.
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Jan 15, 2023 01:50
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for sleep training we did the modified faber method thing where, instead of jsut letting them cry it out, you put the kid down drowsy but awake and then wake increasingly long intervals before you go in and comfort them. like i think the first night it was one, then two, then three up to five minutes, and the next night you start at five minutes, and so on. it worked really well for my son, he responded very quickly to it and we only had to do it a few days before he got the hang of it.
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Jan 15, 2023 02:01
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lobster shirt posted:for sleep training we did the modified faber method thing where, instead of jsut letting them cry it out, you put the kid down drowsy but awake and then wake increasingly long intervals before you go in and comfort them. like i think the first night it was one, then two, then three up to five minutes, and the next night you start at five minutes, and so on. it worked really well for my son, he responded very quickly to it and we only had to do it a few days before he got the hang of it. I did this with all my kids, taking 3-6 days to work with each.
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Jan 15, 2023 02:02
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lobster shirt posted:for sleep training we did the modified faber method thing where, instead of jsut letting them cry it out, you put the kid down drowsy but awake and then wake increasingly long intervals before you go in and comfort them. like i think the first night it was one, then two, then three up to five minutes, and the next night you start at five minutes, and so on. it worked really well for my son, he responded very quickly to it and we only had to do it a few days before he got the hang of it. I did a similar thing at 6 months. in between the crying I’d come in fixed intervals for comfort. after like 3 days I was done and better sleep after. it was one of the hardest things emotionally for me to do though.
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Jan 15, 2023 02:03
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lobster shirt posted:for sleep training we did the modified faber method thing where, instead of jsut letting them cry it out, you put the kid down drowsy but awake and then wake increasingly long intervals before you go in and comfort them. like i think the first night it was one, then two, then three up to five minutes, and the next night you start at five minutes, and so on. it worked really well for my son, he responded very quickly to it and we only had to do it a few days before he got the hang of it. Same. Sometimes the Ferber Method feels like it is training me as much as it is training the lil boy.
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Jan 15, 2023 02:22
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Sunday breakfast story time going over the lore of each family branch to the little ones. Mine, government camp followers who smuggled illegal copies of Harry Potter into Utah. Her's, a fancy people who habitually return Cutco knives for being too sharp. I wonder how my boy will harmonize those origins.
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Jan 15, 2023 15:36
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not even 3 months with satan baby and it feels like 5 years 
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Jan 15, 2023 19:27
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Satan baby forgot to mention one little thing ka-Ching I'm talkin bout student loans
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Jan 15, 2023 19:28
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BAHAHAHA go do imperialism work to crowbar your way into the lower middle class like dad did. It'll build character and keep you humble. Also I ain't got it sorry buddy, like I might be able to pay for 2 semesters of community college.
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Jan 15, 2023 19:35
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ive got a dedicated savings scheme so that they'll both have at least €20K each when they turn 18 and university is free here so, go, find your fortune my children, your old man has almost 2 decades of getting high and playing video games to catch up on
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Jan 15, 2023 19:55
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What's some good things to do with a 4 and a 6 year old in Dublin and the southern half Ireland? Cork, Killarney etc
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Jan 15, 2023 22:19
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welp, norovirus has finally found the household. covid, HFM, and this all in well under a year. hell yeahhhhhhh. toddler didn’t get it too bad. wife is incapacitated. i’m getting there. this sucks!
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Jan 16, 2023 01:21
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Just had a long conversation with a friend about her kid (10ish) trying to look up porn and also getting shocked at the hardcore results and needing some guidance. Thankfully my kids aren't that age yet but............ I grew up in a very sexually repressive Christian env so I'm not sure my feelings will be right here. What are the threads thoughts ???
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Jan 16, 2023 03:01
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this is why you need rated R movies in your house.
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Jan 16, 2023 03:03
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Probably some reassurance that the reason people need to find porn like that should be proof enough that that isn't what sex is really like is in order
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Jan 16, 2023 03:09
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AxGrap posted:Just had a long conversation with a friend about her kid (10ish) trying to look up porn and also getting shocked at the hardcore results and needing some guidance. Thankfully my kids aren't that age yet but............ I used to run a cyber-cafe in the early 2000s. It had some great LAN events, but it was mostly used by parents to dump their kids from 3pm-dinner time. But no matter the filter we had running at the time, once you turned your back on them, there was a gore or porn site up within minutes. They will do it no matter what, so best is to steer them. imo its best to sit them down, and just be frank with them, ask them to ask any questions they have DR FRASIER KRANG posted:this is why you need rated R movies in your house. Hide porn mags in your garden's bushes. Let them find out like we did when we were kids.
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Jan 16, 2023 03:12
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honestly thinking about all the weird poo poo i encountered online as a kid (and the even weirder poo poo i have since become aware of) makes me want to ban children from the internet altogether lol
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Jan 16, 2023 03:18
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happyhippy posted:Hide porn mags in your garden's bushes. Dressing up as the traditional masturbating easter bunny. For the kids.
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Jan 16, 2023 03:26
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DR FRASIER KRANG posted:this is why you need rated R movies in your house. It seems impossible to Google a porn/sex thing and get something that represents sex people actually have
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Jan 16, 2023 03:31
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AxGrap posted:It seems impossible to Google a porn/sex thing and get something that represents sex people actually have NOT THAT THATS WHAY PORNS SUPPOSED TO BE but ya know
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Jan 16, 2023 03:36
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Is this a thing now? Porn's so easily accessed these days and paints a completely unrealistic picture of sex. As a result, sex havers with little or no experience get themselves and their partners into unsafe situations.
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Jan 16, 2023 03:45
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brugroffil posted:What's some good things to do with a 4 and a 6 year old in Dublin and the southern half Ireland? Cork, Killarney etc My then 4 year old was fairly intrigued by the Dublin Natural History Museum though maybe google that one in advance because it might not be for every kid...
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Jan 16, 2023 03:52
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lobster shirt posted:honestly thinking about all the weird poo poo i encountered online as a kid (and the even weirder poo poo i have since become aware of) makes me want to ban children from the internet altogether lol On the other hand, I turned out alright* so maybe it's OK if my kid stumbles across bdsm porn in early teens *well yknow, apart from all the fetishes
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Jan 16, 2023 09:13
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after a small amount of debate, we took the kiddo into daycare today despite us both having the day off. I get to cosplay as childless and unemployed for like 6.5 hours and so far it’s pretty sweet.
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Jan 16, 2023 15:42
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Why was there any debate? 
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Jan 16, 2023 16:33
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Microplastics posted:Why was there any debate? “we are in the last 4 weeks of being able to enjoy this toddler as a solo toddler before the new baby comes” vs “several continuous hours of peace and quiet”
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Jan 16, 2023 17:34
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Ah fair enough. I can see the merit in option 1.
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Jan 16, 2023 17:40
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I'll admit I took my oldest to the zoo once without the youngest just as the youngest was starting daycare iirc.
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Jan 16, 2023 20:05
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meanolmrcloud posted:“we are in the last 4 weeks of being able to enjoy this toddler as a solo toddler before the new baby comes” you made the right choice, things are about to get so much less peaceful lol
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Jan 16, 2023 20:14
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For a while we tried to do a thing where we would take just one of our boys out to do something as a treat but ultimately it turned out they just want to hang out together all the time and the idea of doing something without their brother isn't really all that appealing to either of them. I think it's a good thing?
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Jan 16, 2023 20:17
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If it's anything like my childhood they'll be ride or die until the teen years, then loving abhor each other to physical violence at times, then mellow out once they have some space and time apart after hormones calm down as they enter adulthood. 
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Jan 16, 2023 23:46
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Last week the bbc posted a fascinating article on people who only have one kid (such as ourselves). It goes into a lot of details, with some interesting statistics:quote:In many countries, those trends are shifting towards fewer kids. In the EU, the largest proportion of all families with children – 49% – have one child. In Canada, only-child families make up the largest group, ticking up from 37% in 2001 to 45% in 2021. And looking at mothers near the end of their childbearing years – arguably a better way to measure the popularity of only children, since census data gives only a moment-in-time snapshot – 18% of US women in 2015 had one child, up from 10% in 1976. quote:Portugal, where 59% of families with kids have just one, is a good example: while the age of first-time mothers rose from 26.6 to 29.9 years from 2001 to 2019, almost one in five women also say today that one child is the ideal family size. Before the 1970s in the US, meanwhile, only 1% of poll respondents thought having just one child was best. While still a fraction of the total, that proportion has tripled. (caveats noted in article) and about the pressure from society to have more children, that people face: (which i found thoroughly bizarre, what the hell prompts people to go on about this to strangers? i've not experienced it yet but my wife has, apparently. how many kids you have - few or many - is a personal choice and critics should gently caress off imo) quote:Parents say they feel pressure to have more kids from everyone from family members to perfect strangers. On social media, mothers post adorable moments of their broods with captions like, "This is your sign, give them the younger sibling" and "I never met a mama who regretted having that one more". quote:"And yet all of this cultural noise kept creeping in. I'd be accosted by people on the subway and in the supermarket saying things like, 'When will you have another one?' And I would say, very plainly, 'I'm not planning to'. And it would be all of a sudden like I was an abuser – like, call the Department of Social Services on this person. It felt to me, like, what is this calculation? … Why is the world telling you that, if you make this choice, you're a terrible parent, and you're a terrible woman?" quote:"I've had a lot of comments like, 'Oh, he's going to have only-child syndrome. He is going to be unable to share. He's going to be spoiled," says Victoria Fahey, 25, in Calgary, Canada. "I know plenty of people who have siblings who are spoiled and rude and entitled. To say that's just because of being an only child, not circumstances – that's crazy." (There is, in fact, no evidence that only children are any less well-adjusted or successful than those with siblings). and it notes the reasons that parents give, both those that have siblings themselves: quote:While many people see a sibling as a 'gift' to a child, one-and-done parents point out that there is no guarantee children will get along. For some, it was their own experiences of growing up in larger families that made them consider having only one. and those that don't (like me and my wife): quote:It was also that they knew there wasn't anything "wrong" with not "giving" their child a sibling. "I'm an only child, and I'm very happy," says Dalton. "I'm so close with my parents." and reasons that span both groups: quote:One-and-done parents also worry that more children would divide their attention. "I see moms of two or more being torn in different directions, especially as kids get older," says Cristina Zaldivar, 44, of Miami, Florida. "Even at parent night at school, moms had to choose which child's teacher's presentations to sit through. I don't ever want to have to choose." quote:"It is really important to me to have a calm and nurturing environment," she says. "And just to be able to control myself and my emotions, and make sure that I don't lose it" – aspects she feels like her overstretched parents couldn't manage. quote:Wanting to offer one child more also extends to other resources, including finances. Raising children today is expensive: one study showed raising two children in the US costs, on average, $310,605 (£255,369), not including college tuition. In the UK, one child is estimated to cost nearly £160,000 ($194,607) for a couple. In Australia, it costs almost AU$160,000 ($107,442, £88,307) or, by another estimate, nearly AU$550,000. Struggling to pay these bills, many families are falling further and further behind. quote:Some one-and-done parents also cite their concern over the kind of future their children will inherit."The planet is dying and there's not seemed to be as big of a push as needed to clean that up," quote:Part of many one-and-done parents' contentment is the impact their decision has on other parts of their lives, such as careers, hobbies and interests. "There's the question of what you want an adulthood to look like," says Sandler. "Like, what does it take to go to the movies? What does it take to go out to dinner? What does it take to have adult friendships where you actually get to have an uninterrupted conversation?" quote:Having one child also makes it easier to be a better partner, believes Laura Bennett, 33, in Cornwall, England. As it is, she says, she's able to take time for herself, going to festivals or away for weekends with friends. As a result, she feels no resentment when her partner goes surfing or out for a pint. She's not sure how they'd achieve that balance with another. the article quotes a lot from people who seem to make it their identity (writers, blog authors etc) which is a bit of a shame because i get vibes of anti-natalism from them (except for '1' kids instead of '0' kids). Still an interesting article though which chimes a lot with what me and my wife have been discussing recently (we're forking out all our life savings for nursery, so we're definitely stopping at one)
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Jan 17, 2023 22:38
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We talked about stopping at one but had another and have no regrets. We tried to have a third but we were pushing 40 and it didn't work out which I'm fine with. All of which leads me to think that whatever number of kids you have is the right number for you. 
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Jan 18, 2023 00:14
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