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The four year old was super excited about his new big boy undies…and then subsequently soaked them and his pants :/ My partner is at his wits end. He also is so excited about his big boy loft bed, which has a SLIDE! But the times I’ve stayed over since then, he’s slept there for approximately two hours before relocating to the couch or trying to cuddle with daddy. I’m in a supportive but not parental role, so there’s not much I can do besides reinforce positive behaviors in my own way, I guess. He did want me to read him TWO books yesterday and then said he loved me, so that was very sweet. He also has reached a level of comfort with me that he’s been trying to roughhouse and climb on me like he does with his dad 😅 we’ve had to have some little talks about boundaries and poo poo. Anyway…anyone who has insights/advice when it come to dating single parents… I’ve considered maybe not sleeping over for at least a few weekend while the kiddo gets acclimated to his new sleeping arrangement.
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Jan 22, 2023 15:59
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| # ? Jun 7, 2024 17:01 |
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My recently turned 8 year old has entered the sensitive, rebellious and expressive phase over the last few months. Kid has more energy than we have time to give it and is super high energy. 3 hours outside in this cold weather and she wants more. 2 hours of school and the same. Meanwhile if she doesn't get the energy out outside she's physical with me and is very much hitting and crying and yelling all the time. Clearly seems like stress. Kid is still around 70% height and 90% weight pretty much from birth, so she's a tall big kid. Up to my wife's shoulders already. It's balanced with amazing acts of kindness and loving as well as intelligence (scholastic and emotional). We're trying to keep calm throughout and say "we don't do this" when she ignores boundaries and tries to force me to play with her (roughhousing into even punching pinching etc which goes too far) - even when I try to redirect. I know it's trying on my wife's patience as much as my own as we constantly try to stay calm. Is 8 just extra difficult?
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Jan 22, 2023 16:13
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notwithoutmyanus posted:We're trying to keep calm throughout and say "we don't do this" when she ignores boundaries and tries to force me to play with her (roughhousing into even punching pinching etc which goes too far) - even when I try to redirect. I know it's trying on my wife's patience as much as my own as we constantly try to stay calm. Is 8 just extra difficult? I'm kind of in the same boat recently for my 7 year old daughter, almost 8. She's 99 percentile in height, and loves to just jump on my back, or climb me like a tree, which is okay if I'm expecting it, but she's getting big enough to topple me if I'm not expecting it. It's absolutely okay to not be calm in this situation, especially to an 8 year old. I don't want to model being passive about physical boundaries with my kids. I've said (and yelled) "this is my body, not yours," "you need to ask permission to do something like that to my body," and "I've said NO, and no means no!" Showing a child when it's appropriate to be angry (or sad, or disappointed, etc) is good parenting; unless a parent cannot regulate their emotion and just rages.
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Jan 22, 2023 17:10
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Muir posted:Does the rate of illness get better in kindergarten? If so, why, are they just putting stuff in their mouths less? That, but mostly I think it’s that by kindergarten they’ve had most types of virus. There are only so many adenoviruses and they eventually develop some amount of immunity to them.
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Jan 22, 2023 20:20
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I was pillowfighting my four year old (her idea) and she could tell I was playfighting so she asked me to take it seriously. First I showed her how to block, then I teed off on her with a throwpillow. We were both nearly sick from laughing. I love her so much.
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Jan 22, 2023 20:30
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Surprise food hit of the day: dried teriyaki seaweed. Huh. Ok.
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Jan 22, 2023 20:45
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my wife is clipping our daughters (7 weeks old) nails and the poor baby sounds so upset, crying inconsolably. feel bad for her but it has to be done! babies love scratching themselves.
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Jan 22, 2023 22:39
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We always clip nails during feeds when the baby is distracted. It only turned to cries for us when we hosed up and clipped some skin.
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Jan 22, 2023 23:01
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Putting toddler in a full body press while wife clips the one unrestrained hand. Setting up meditative cave bedroom atmosphere with soft lighting, healing music, and breast milk to create perfect conditions for newborn clipping.
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Jan 22, 2023 23:13
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theratking posted:It only turned to cries for us when we hosed up and clipped some skin. I did that the very first time I went to cut my daughter's nails because she was fussing so much. Worst feeling ever. Needless to say, didn't set a good tone for future clippings. Mommy took over exclusively for a bit there. Like, two years...?
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Jan 22, 2023 23:31
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We used a nail file until his fingers got big enough where I felt like I could actually clip without taking off his finger tips.
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Jan 22, 2023 23:39
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get them while they're sleeping
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Jan 23, 2023 00:11
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2 year old at the trampoline park: fearless and invincible Dad at the trampoline park: terrified and sprained both ankles within 10 minutes 
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Jan 23, 2023 00:28
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What's the strangest toddler food combo you've encountered? Dinner tonight invoked mango dipped in mustard.
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Jan 23, 2023 00:51
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Probably not weird in taste profile, but applesauce mixed with yogurt is a disgusting color, and very hard to clean once dried onto a surface
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Jan 23, 2023 01:08
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Blueberries dipped in ketchup
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Jan 23, 2023 01:39
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For nails, we've got this baby nail dremel thing for our 16 month old that works OK and has an auto stop so it isn't going to snip her skin. Probably going to bring it to the hospital for the new baby too, I remember we wished we'd had something with us after the toddler was born with her little claws.
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Jan 23, 2023 02:29
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Skittles dipped in ketchup.
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Jan 23, 2023 03:03
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Ketchup is popular. My nephew rolled his cone of soft-serve in ketchup and fries one time and ate it all
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Jan 23, 2023 03:10
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Emily Spinach posted:For nails, we've got this baby nail dremel thing for our 16 month old that works OK and has an auto stop so it isn't going to snip her skin. Probably going to bring it to the hospital for the new baby too, I remember we wished we'd had something with us after the toddler was born with her little claws. We had one of those too! It seemed to work well - during feedings he didn't really care about it.
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Jan 23, 2023 03:14
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I had some Big Feelings converting the crib to the toddler bed today  Bed time seemed to go ok though. At one point the little guy got out of bed and picked up a package of wipes and then pondered it for about five minutes. Then he got out of bed, gently placed the wipes back where they were, and went back to bed to sleep 
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Jan 23, 2023 06:28
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Ranch dressing drizzled onto white rice. A handful of white rice absolutely drenched with ranch dressing. Scoops of pure raw ranch dressing directly into your mouth.
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Jan 23, 2023 06:50
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Vegemite on banana muffins
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Jan 23, 2023 08:23
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Hippie Hedgehog posted:That, but mostly I think it’s that by And then you hit school, and it's headlice and pinworm time!
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Jan 23, 2023 10:28
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Shifty Pony posted:What's the strangest toddler food combo you've encountered? Alternating her kiwi with her chicken/pasta with bechamel sauce. For 'we'll never get that off the wall', I see the applesauce/yoghurt combo and raise with split pea soup.
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Jan 23, 2023 11:59
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Guildencrantz posted:My absurdly well-behaved 3-year-old is becoming incredibly sensitive to criticism and, uh, guilt if that's a developmentally appropriate term. Very rarely are there tantrums over wanting or not wanting something, but she has a meltdown whenever she's significantly scolded or gets any strong negative response. To the point where if she accidentally hurts me and I cry out in pain or surprise, I instantly have an inconsolably wailing child on my hands (how are you the victim here, kid). I’ve never dealt with this age before, so take everything with a grain of salt. I would, however, keep a weather eye out for any other signs of anxiety. I’m a fan of Eli Lebowitz’s book “Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents” if this rings true. Most of the things he puts forward are good parenting strategies for any kid with anxious or perfectionist tendencies, not only ones who meet a clinical threshold.
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Jan 23, 2023 19:51
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My daughter went through a phase like this at around the same age. If we told her she'd done something wrong she would go hide under the dining room table and be inconsolable for about 30 minutes. It happened at school too. It lasted maybe 6 months? She's almost 5 now and it hasn't been a problem for a while. Mostly we just focused on reinforcing that we always love her and everyone makes mistakes.
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Jan 23, 2023 20:09
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I am unsure whether we were drastically underpaying for childcare before or if new places are just loving charging more. We looked at a place today that, while loving amazing (yoga, dual language, gardening, snacks included, literally has a "kids struggling with potty training but too advanced for toddlers" class), costs $500+ more a month. That's almost a 50% increase.Engineer Lenk posted:I’ve never dealt with this age before, so take everything with a grain of salt. I would, however, keep a weather eye out for any other signs of anxiety. Huh. I'll look into that one myself since our 6yo's perfectionist streak has involved self harm lately. Including her hiding it from her teacher but her friend noticing and having the wherewithall to let us know.
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Jan 24, 2023 00:34
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Conversation as I picked up my 25 month old daughter from daycare: How did it go today? Good. We've been drawing on the whiteboard together the past few minutes. She is struggling a bit to grasp that not everything you draw with is a "crayon"... I'll show you. Sweetie, what are you drawing with? Cyan. No. It's not a crayon. MARKER. It's a blue MARKER. NO. CYAN. Do you see what I mean?It was, of course, a cyan marker.
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Jan 24, 2023 00:39
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Man, gently caress that teacher. Your kid got it right enough.
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Jan 24, 2023 01:04
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citybeatnik posted:I am unsure whether we were drastically underpaying for childcare before or if new places are just loving charging more. We looked at a place today that, while loving amazing (yoga, dual language, gardening, snacks included, literally has a "kids struggling with potty training but too advanced for toddlers" class), costs $500+ more a month. That's almost a 50% increase. You're in Austin right? We pay $990/month for full time off of Far West, but it is a more traditional class structure and a distinct lack of yoga and gardening.
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Jan 24, 2023 02:17
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Shifty Pony posted:You're in Austin right? Yeah, pflugerville to be specific. His current Montessori is 875 for his age group, 7a-5p. Classes start at 8.30 but they do early drop off. No yoga there either, snacks not provided, and they're being patoots re the potty training that i mentioned last week. This one has a spot open for him next week. But holy gently caress does $500 more a month change things. Plus a uniform shirt but that's just the frosting on top. Little dude's loving 3, he doesn't need the da vinci system or whatever. Although the mental image of my ogre of an offspring tearing rear end through the yoga class as he wrecks holy hell is hilarious.
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Jan 24, 2023 02:28
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Sometimes you just need half an hour or more in the tub with two differently-sized cups. If anyone else tries to convince you otherwise, they're wrong. Express this to them.
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Jan 24, 2023 14:56
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Read "Are you my mother?" to my daughter last night and now she won't stop calling my wife "mother!" in a trollish fashion.
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Jan 24, 2023 15:05
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Gotta get them out before they realize the bathtub is a larger third cup.
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Jan 24, 2023 15:06
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I was legitimately stunned by how much daycare cost in and around DC when I was living there. IIRC, it has some of, if not the, highest childcare costs in the nation and for even basic home daycare we were looking at thousands of dollars a month for just "ok" facilities. It's definitely much lower here in Providence and we are at a stellar daycare facility with top marks and fancy poo poo and we are paying a third of the cost these days. Just the worst loving system
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Jan 24, 2023 15:55
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citybeatnik posted:Yeah, pflugerville to be specific. Our Montessori is $1019/month ($835 for 0830-1430, $184 for aftercare) for 2 days a week, 0830-1630. Snacks are provided, but not lunch.
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Jan 24, 2023 16:04
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Good soup! posted:I was legitimately stunned by how much daycare cost in and around DC when I was living there. IIRC, it has some of, if not the, highest childcare costs in the nation and for even basic home daycare we were looking at thousands of dollars a month for just "ok" facilities. i have a friend who lives in DC and he told me that when he found a daycare that was "only" 1200/month and like right around the corner from his apartment he started crying from relief. shits insane. my daughter is gonna start daycare in march and i am very powerfully not looking forward to the extra 950 it's gonna cost us. and this is one of the cheaper places we looked at. people say texas has low cost of living and im just like lol sure it does.
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Jan 24, 2023 16:06
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$600 / month here for 5 days a week, in the middle of coal country southern West Virginia. Breakfast / lunch / snack included. Probably the lowest it'll go for this thread... This is a crazy economically depressed area.
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Jan 24, 2023 16:09
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We've been working on how to be mad/frustrated with my 2 1/2 year old and what she's settled into is that if she's mad, she's allowed to be mad and run into another room to lay down for a bit by herself. We let her know we're in the area if she needs us but she also tends to yell if we get too close. She does that for like, 2 minutes and is usually good. She doesn't do this all the time obviously but it has been nice for her to have an outlet she knows about to prevent some minor things from becoming major things.
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Jan 24, 2023 16:11
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