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Not my work, but organisations I have to deal with: We want to apply for a grant to implement a fundraising plan. One of the example projects the grant can be used for is 'Creating, adapting and implementing a fundraising plan', I've been advised that  e: 
Outrail fucked around with this message at 21:23 on Jan 23, 2023 |
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Jan 23, 2023 19:15
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That doesn't sound very intelligible.
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Jan 23, 2023 19:54
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I think that means you can spend it on any planning and preparing for a fundraising exercise, but not to pay for executing the exercise itself. So no paying chuggers, street staff or cold callers. But I would talk to someone at the grant provider and ask them what the gently caress.
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Jan 23, 2023 21:41
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goatface posted:I think that means you can spend it on any planning and preparing for a fundraising exercise, but not to pay for executing the exercise itself. So no paying chuggers, street staff or cold callers. Yeah, that's precisely what they mean. That's the clarification I got after asking what the gently caress.
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Jan 23, 2023 23:29
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"As per my previous email, what the gently caress?"
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Jan 23, 2023 23:42
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Dumb poo poo your work does - As per my previous email, what the gently caress?
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Jan 24, 2023 00:46
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Remember that time the CEO cut our Fridays off from once a month to once a quarter? Well, he sent us another email about it (warning: long), this time with the subject "Velocity Matters".  quote:Hi Team,
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Jan 24, 2023 02:09
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Too many buzzwords! I'm...I'm blackin' out!
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Jan 24, 2023 02:17
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Help my eyes just keep sliding off the page
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Jan 24, 2023 02:21
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keep your head down, and power through
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Jan 24, 2023 02:22
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Increase Robert and the rest of the executive team's velocity via the boardroom window tia What a useless pack of oxygen thieves
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Jan 24, 2023 02:40
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im about to start howard stern soundboarding our new mandatory virtual morning meeting
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Jan 24, 2023 02:42
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YeahTubaMike posted:Remember that time the CEO cut our Fridays off from once a month to once a quarter? Well, he sent us another email about it (warning: long), this time with the subject "Velocity Matters". That's a lot of words to say "We should do good, by being good and doing good things." Also you can tell the CEO was real proud of coming up with "skill" vs" will" and really wanted to work that in no matter how awkwardly. Also even if you take his e-mail at face value, he starts out going "So why does sit make sense for the CEO to focus on Execution and the little details instead of overall strategy?" and then the entire rest of the e-mail is about why every other part of his formulas to success is important but only ever talking about what he's actually doing with Execution, not why it matters and why it makes sense for him to focus on it. At best, he's saying "Well, urgency is a mindset and there's only so much I can do to make that happen, and we already figured out our strategy, so basically there's only one thing left for me to do (assuming my formula has any rooting in reality and isn't just brainworms I made up to sound smart)." So...I guess this entire letter is just a long-winded justification for why the CEO is micromanaging things?
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Jan 24, 2023 02:43
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New company strategy:
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Jan 24, 2023 02:45
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quote:Urgency is not code for working more hours, rather, Narrator: it was, in fact, code for working more hours unpaid.
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Jan 24, 2023 02:45
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DeeplyConcerned posted:keep your head down, and power through My coworkers have been talking about taking their own Fridays off out of their (unlimited) PTO since the day that first email went out, and I only hope that taking our own Fridays off won't end up getting our PTO limited. Also, I have to power through because if I leave before April, I'll have to pay back my signing bonus.
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Jan 24, 2023 02:53
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Escape From Noise posted:New company strategy: OP if you start putting up "Gotta go fast" stickers around the office you might just end up becoming an office folk hero. Especially since if the CEO catches wind he might just take it seriously and figure the grunts are on board with his velocity strategy.
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Jan 24, 2023 02:55
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Thank you guys who replies to me last page. The RED square on a spreadsheet makes the most sense. My supervisor was supposed to meet with me about it today and didn't make it in so I'm tempted to ask him for an excused absence because I have a big loving mouth but I know better. Whoever posted how this poo poo feels like 4th grade bullshit was spot on and I think that's what bugs me most about it. I'm a grown man, a parent and have serious health issues. Being treated like a child is hard for me to shake.
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Jan 24, 2023 02:59
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YeahTubaMike posted:Remember that time the CEO cut our Fridays off from once a month to once a quarter? Well, he sent us another email about it (warning: long), this time with the subject "Velocity Matters". Just start taping up variations of with lovely word art VELOCITY poorly mspainted over it.  Rocket powered roller skates, rocket sled, cliff dive to the ground, big catapult, etc. Plenty of VELOCITY to choose from, all of it stupid.
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Jan 24, 2023 03:02
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Make sure you change ACME to whatever the name of your company is.
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Jan 24, 2023 03:15
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BiggerBoat posted:Thank you guys who replies to me last page. The RED square on a spreadsheet makes the most sense. That was me. I know how absolutely frustrating it is to be in that kind of role and can sympathize. In a prior company we would have supervisors stand at the clock in/out terminals to keep anyone from clocking out "early" in the three minute grace period or clocking in even a second after the normal start time, despite the three minute grace period there as well. If you woke up sick and called out your supervisor could decide if that was worth giving you a strike because the company and union had agreed to a 12 hour warning before any unplanned absence. There were all sorts of weird rules about lunch, too. The company rule was that you got a half hour unpaid lunch that you could take any time any day of the week. The department head determined that meant everyone in our department had to take lunch at 11:30. This pissed people off more than the clock in/clock out monitoring. People tried to get the union to intervene and they just declined to do anything because they had already gotten on the department head's poo poo list for making him split overtime opportunities evenly across the department.
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Jan 24, 2023 16:02
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Lazyfire posted:People tried to get the union to intervene and they just declined to do anything because they had already gotten on the department head's poo poo list What? That's the unions loving job, they're not supposed to be friends wtf
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Jan 24, 2023 16:08
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Regarding recruiters, I'm in a kinda specialized job, and there aren't many places that hire people with my skillset. So I know most of the places off the top of my head and love to guess what firm is recruiting now, so I can tell them no. God I love telling recruiters no.
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Jan 24, 2023 16:23
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Small industries are fun. I like it when recruiters try to tap you for a job and you ask them what company it is and they won't say because they know if you're interested you'll just call the team lead and they'll miss out on their commission. Like, there's ten companies but it's probably Julie or Dave's team because they always seem to be looking for people. But yeah let's go through multiple rounds of emails and forms and meetings and poo poo with the recruiter and the larger company so I can finally sit in a room with Dave and ask how his kid is doing or do an interview with Julie where the first question is going to be 'Did you make it home ok last weekend? Stop letting my husband drink so much'.
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Jan 24, 2023 16:39
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I'm gonna put my resume up on some sites and throw out some apps soon just to see what's up, and I am dreading a recruiter from that drug factory calling me now that everyone has shuffled out
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Jan 24, 2023 16:44
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It's fun getting hounded by a recruiter until you talk to them. They always have a great opportunity at a great company, but absolutely will not tell you who the company is. "I'm not going to work for poo poo Corp doing poo poo job. So do you still want to talk to me?" *crickets* Somehow this great company always needs to backfill 
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Jan 24, 2023 16:51
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What's the end goal anyway? Go through the whole hiring process and you don't get to see what company it is until you've signed?
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Jan 24, 2023 17:00
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Getting you so far down the line you feel too awkward to tell them to gently caress off.
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Jan 24, 2023 17:02
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goatface posted:Getting you so far down the line you feel too awkward to tell them to gently caress off. That's my secret, I never feel too awkward to tell someone to gently caress off. In fact, telling someone to gently caress off can shift the awkwardness from you onto them.
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Jan 24, 2023 17:30
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Outrail posted:What's the end goal anyway? Go through the whole hiring process and you don't get to see what company it is until you've signed? You learn who it is after you agree to move forward. That way you can't go around them and just apply on the company website. They're also licking the cookie hoping that they're the first one to put you in front of the company so no other recruiter can touch you. Or they've already sent an old resume and are trying to hard sell you to agree.
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Jan 24, 2023 17:34
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Cthulu Carl posted:That's my secret, I never feel too awkward to tell someone to gently caress off. I went to two job interviews the day I got the job I'm working right now, and the second one I went to told me none of the poo poo I wanted to hear for what they wanted to hire me for, and I walked out with them telling me they'd really hope I would work for them but they'd understand if I didn't. Emailed the guy the next day when I took my job, outlined the reasons, and he sent me an email back congratulating me and telling me I was gonna do good stuff. Both interviews ended with, "well, do you have any questions for us?" "Yeah, actually, can you walk me along the floor of your factory and show me some of your process?"
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Jan 24, 2023 17:35
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Methylethylaldehyde posted:Just start taping up variations of with lovely word art VELOCITY poorly mspainted over it. If only the office weren't on the opposite coast from me  (not just for the vandalism opportunities, but also because I'm one of the only people I know who prefers working in an office)
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Jan 24, 2023 17:35
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My work is changing mileage ( and, in fact, ALL travel/expense related items) yet again. They are combining four different reimbursement policies, which, to be fair, seems excessive, into a single cohesive one. I don't do any actual travel, or client meetings, or anything like that. I only use their mileage reimbursement. It changed once last July. I went from getting approx. $800 a month in mileage reimbursement to about $400. Now it looks like I might drop down to $0, but...that's in the air and my managers are looking into it. There's two things that are worded to make it seem like I won't be getting anything. 1) In the "Quick summary" email about changes to the expense policy, there is a line that said quote:Mileage incurred commuting to your contractual place of work is not reimbursable The issue is what "contractual place of work" means. If it means just the main office I "work" out of, then I will still get reimbursed because I never go there. I am basically full time contracted to a client, 40 hours a week at a client that's ~40 miles from my home. But...there's the rub. I am CONTRACTED to work for that customer, so is THEIR office considered my "contractual place of work"? 2) There is a chart in the longer, full policy linked to in the email that seems to confirm this. It has "Traveling from" on one axis, and "traveling to" on the other. Traveling form "Home" to a "Non-[employer's] place or work" is a NO for counting as business miles. As is going form home TO my employer's place of work, but going from Employer's place of work to a non-employer's place of work is covered, so in theory if I go to my "main" office I never go to, and from there travel to where I actually work out of, that's reimbursed. So basically going forward I'm just going to lie and say I start every day at my office and from there go to the client site. I'll just have to adjust the mileage form to reflect the mileage from the office to where I work, which is only like 5 miles less than from my home, so not a HUGE deal.
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Jan 24, 2023 18:12
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If I'm not getting reimbursed for my commute, gently caress working there. That poo poo adds up.
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Jan 24, 2023 18:43
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Outrail posted:What? That's the unions loving job, they're not supposed to be friends wtf Not there. We had union officer elections just before starting contract negotiations and the union presidency was between the guy who was president for like the last 15 years and claimed his great relationship with the company would mean a better deal and the other guy was a "gently caress the company, we want the pension plan back" type who saw the company having 70 years of contracts as a sign we should be pushing for greater corporate concessions after the union had conceded a few benefits on the last contract when the company was doing poorly. The incumbent won and then proceeded to let the company put us on high deductible medical plans in exchange for hiring more unionized employees over the next ten years. People were pissed, it was the closest the union had come to having the contract rejected since they went on strike in the 80's. The union leadership was absolutely compromised by the company and their only real goal was to expand the number of people in the union. They even decided to forgo any sort of automatic raise or update to the top level pay and instead offered a $1000 contract signing bonus. The company made it clear for the previous five years they were always going to expand the workforce due to retirements and new work coming in, which meant the union really had them in a spot where the company needed the union to cooperate and asking for more money and at least the same level of medical benefits would have probably have been extremely easy. Instead we got HSAs and a one time payment.
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Jan 24, 2023 19:30
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Lol, I remember getting told that yes driving out to a remote transcriptionist's house was ok for mileage, but if I was going home after it wasn't. They'd only cover it if I was driving back to the office. I simply chose to schedule any trips like that in the early part of my day, so I'd get reimbursed both ways. My manager wasn't happy because she wanted me to go at the end of my day (was salary) so she could have me around to poo poo out golden eggs for her all day. I miss the work itself, some of my coworkers, none of the management.
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Jan 24, 2023 19:43
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Come to think of it, this story is second-hand and from a while ago but it might fit the thread. So back in the '00s when China was the big hot new market that everyone wanted to be in on, there was a regional CEO of a major multinational you've probably heard of. Now most of the time, when folks from HQ visited regional CEOs in China, they'd take them out to five star restaurants in big cities like Beijing, Shanghai, and Shenzen, really show off how wealthy and prestigious China was and what a big deal the regional CEOs were in turn and how important it was to keep doing business in China and funneling resources towards them. Our hero did not do this. He HATED it when people from corporate came to town because he wanted them to leave him alone and allow him to run his section of the company exactly the way he felt it should be run. So when folks from the home office came to town, he'd drag them with him into a car and start driving, out past the suburbs, out past the city limits, as far as he could into the rural sticks of China (which has and still does suffer from being heavily underinvested in compared to the big cities) to lodge with a rice farmer for the duration of the stay, all the way ranting about how this was the REAL China, you fuckers back home don't know poo poo, *I* know how China works, YOU don't, and if YOU want to learn what China really is you do what I do and stay here eating plain rice with the salt of the earth until you get it through your thick skull that you ain't in Kansas anymore, bucko! It worked - people from the home office never visited more than once and he was left with a very free hand to do whatever he felt like. Lest you think too much of the guy, though, "whatever he felt like" meant "indulging his emotional desire for total control" - he was apparently notorious for randomly pulling all-day meetings of all his senior managers to basically yell at them for twelve hours straight, no bathroom or food breaks. The only reason people put up with it was because he paid EXTREMELY well.
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Jan 24, 2023 19:58
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^^: are they hiring?Salami Surgeon posted:You learn who it is after you agree to move forward. That way you can't go around them and just apply on the company website. They're also licking the cookie hoping that they're the first one to put you in front of the company so no other recruiter can touch you. Except you can tell them 'yeah actually not interested' and then go apply on the company website. e: DrBouvenstein posted:Traveling form "Home" to a "Non-[employer's] place or work" is a NO for counting as business miles. As is going form home TO my employer's place of work, but going from Employer's place of work to a non-employer's place of work is covered, so in theory if I go to my "main" office I never go to, and from there travel to where I actually work out of, that's reimbursed. First you drive from home (444a DrBouvenstein Cresent) to your remote office (444b DrBouvenstein Cresent), then you go to other work locations, then you go back to the remote office, then you drive home. Outrail fucked around with this message at 01:19 on Jan 25, 2023 |
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Jan 25, 2023 01:12
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DrBouvenstein posted:Mileage So it sounds to me like some dipshit manager saw a spot where they could “save” the company a few bucks, is going to push a stupid revision to the policy through, and then by the time a bunch of people have said “gently caress this” and left it’ll be several quarters past the implementation and they’ll have been promoted instead of getting fired for being a loving dumbass.
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Jan 25, 2023 02:35
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Lazyfire posted:That was me. I know how absolutely frustrating it is to be in that kind of role and can sympathize. In a prior company we would have supervisors stand at the clock in/out terminals to keep anyone from clocking out "early" in the three minute grace period or clocking in even a second after the normal start time, despite the three minute grace period there as well. If you woke up sick and called out your supervisor could decide if that was worth giving you a strike because the company and union had agreed to a 12 hour warning before any unplanned absence. There were all sorts of weird rules about lunch, too. The company rule was that you got a half hour unpaid lunch that you could take any time any day of the week. The department head determined that meant everyone in our department had to take lunch at 11:30. This pissed people off more than the clock in/clock out monitoring. People tried to get the union to intervene and they just declined to do anything because they had already gotten on the department head's poo poo list for making him split overtime opportunities evenly across the department. What time was recess? And were you allowed to play D&D in study hall or did you have to pretend to read? Also, I know that I always make sure that I get sick, throw my back out, get a migraine or experience food poisoning before I even go to bed the night before. Because it's completely insane that anyone would ever wake up in the middle of the night vomiting, having diarrhea or a fever or arising first thing in the morning feeling sick or experiencing pain. Nope. Never happens. Didn't happen to me last week when my body decided I couldn't walk at 7am. My 4 year old son didn't wake up at 4am vomiting either. gently caress all this poo poo. How does a UNION agree to this type of bargaining? It's 8:55 pm right now and I am due at work at 9:30 am. Better make up my mind if I want to be sick in a half hour then and decide how my back/hip are gonna feel at 7:40 am. I should probably just throw my back out now just to be on the safe side You can tell this is drummed up by CEO's and Sales Managers because they're treating calling out sick just like scheduling a tee time. There really needs to be some sort of federal paid sick leave law for every worker. And having to PROVE it within a certain timeline can get lost too. I don't have sick days so I'm gonna miss a day's pay AND drag my rear end to a doctor with a $50 co pay. The gently caress, man?
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Jan 25, 2023 03:03
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