(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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I think those are the laws that make it illegal for your employer to contact you outside of work hours. Not really something the US seems poised to pick up on.
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Jan 20, 2023 16:56
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| # ? May 24, 2024 19:10 |
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I stood my ground and didn't let employers control my life after I went home. I'm pretty sure this factored into being bullied into quitting. and oh my god. dad asked me to dig up a part of the septic tank with him. we found fire ants. i asked him to poison them before we continue. he is continuing to dig. the fire ants. up. and chucking the fireant filled dirt around. instead of powdering them. i am now inside and not outside. he's still shoveling. This is relevant to the thread because this insane person is the cause of 90% of my anxiety throughout my life and its either deal with his bullshit or live in my car. Ronwayne has issued a correction as of 00:25 on Jan 21, 2023 |
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Jan 21, 2023 00:16
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Ronwayne posted:I stood my ground and didn't let employers control my life after I went home. I'm pretty sure this factored into being bullied into quitting. This sounds like my dad. He works in education and decided one night while I was studying for finals to work on the stairs. This meant a lot of power tools going brrr and vzz-vzzz! I went out to talk to him and told him point blank that I was studying and he could do this literally any other night. And that he's an educator so could he not. Just looked at me with this fish eyed stare. I closed my door and he spun those power tools up loving immediately for the rest of the loving night. Once he's got a project, he will not stop for anything unless he's been too injured to keep working or the project itself is in danger if he continues. Little if any thought thought is given to other people. I remember months of labor on this "fantasy yard" that my mom wanted because she had untreated and undiagnosed mental health issues alongside her treated and diagnosed mental issues. And for about three years she'd throw a goddamn fit because she wanted this massive garden in the back yard. So my dad would spend spring, summer and fall, but especially summer working on this insane task and my brother and I would pitch in because he'd work out there until dark every day after work, muttering dark curses. And so would we so they just wouldn't get a divorce. And basically my brother and I were sucked into my parents' frequently dysfunctional, codependent relationship, enabling my mom in her insane quest to have the perfect garden. But also enabling my dad in his bizarre task oriented mind, despite the task being absolutely insane for the amount of labor, time and materials it took. He ended up selling the house and nearly divorcing my mom anyway. I think it was because he just didn't want to look at the back yard anymore. My parents have these bizarre fixations that they won't let go of and on occasion they interacted horribly with one another and with my brother and I. But every summer, he'd end up working on some sort of carpentry project or we'd dig a six foot hole in the front yard to pour concrete and because he had all summer off as an educator, the carpentry project would last all summer. And the house was constantly abuzz with the sounds of power tools because my dad absolutely couldn't sit still. He recently retired and is moving into this tiny house because west coast property values are insane. And I honestly can't imagine him sitting still and not having a project. He's going to have the rest of his life to fart around and I think the lack of poo poo to do now that he no longer teaches is going to drive him insane. So yeah. I have a million "my dad is still digging up fireants" stories. He won't let a little thing like hundreds or thousands of biting, stinging insects get in the way of his task when he could do it now instead of a later, saner time. Ice Phisherman has issued a correction as of 23:17 on Jan 21, 2023 |
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Jan 21, 2023 12:00
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Thanks to the very kind goons in the goon fund thread, I was able to pay a big medical bill a few months ago, meaning I was able to save a few hundred bucks, which I decided to drop on this thing at lowe's that was on sale It makes the endless yard digging a lot easier and is also pretty fun to operate 
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Jan 22, 2023 01:23
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Ronwayne posted:Thanks to the very kind goons in the goon fund thread, I was able to pay a big medical bill a few months ago, meaning I was able to save a few hundred bucks, which I decided to drop on this thing at lowe's that was on sale Perfectly engineered to scoop up even the toughest clumps of fire ants.
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Jan 22, 2023 17:47
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Ronwayne posted:Thanks to the very kind goons in the goon fund thread, I was able to pay a big medical bill a few months ago, meaning I was able to save a few hundred bucks, which I decided to drop on this thing at lowe's that was on sale i picked up the cheap harbor freight equivalent of this, and it worked well enough except for how it got tangled in all of the roots in my virginia soil. it became a sword in the stone type deal when it would catch the roots and suck itself into the earth, unable to back out under its own power. had to hack and snip all around the perimeter of the augur to free it up. then my wife kept putting gas preservative instead of two stroke oil into it and it finally seized. we returned it for a full refund and just finished the yard using a post holer.
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Jan 22, 2023 17:51
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this thread is now about powered gardening tools
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Jan 22, 2023 18:13
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Augery is an excellent tool to prepare for future projects.
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Jan 22, 2023 18:15
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I'm in a pretty precarious situation, so obviously this morning I went for a walk to get McDonald's coffee I live downtown and there's homeless everywhere. I pass one of them who starts yelling and calling me names. So I yelled back at him like "DUDE I WAS GONNA GIVE YOU A FEW BUCKS UNTIL YOU CALLED ME A human being" he got more mad and was like "do you wanna die" And I was thinking how I really was literally about to give him a few bucks. But like, what the gently caress, I've yelled at people before So I waited for him to catch up and didn't say anything until he got close and I was just like "do you want my help or not" and he immediately was nice and explaining how the stupid bougie fucks hassle him and never give him anything and I was just like "bro. I literally know I really know" and he got like... almost weepy when I gave him a fiver and was apologizing and hugging me and I was just... I know man I really know what it's like Then I gave him the weed I had on me because who, literally who the gently caress am I, I deserve nothing It was... kind of beautiful
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Jan 22, 2023 20:23
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That sounds really nice precision but I don't like how you dismiss your own needs! There's a sappy quote I heard once that has always been true that goes: "it's okay if you only help 1 person and it's okay if that person is you".
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Jan 22, 2023 20:28
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Jorge Bell posted:That sounds really nice precision but I don't like how you dismiss your own needs! There's a sappy quote I heard once that has always been true that goes: "it's okay if you only help 1 person and it's okay if that person is you". Well, I'm in a position where the main thing that's wrong is that I can't figure out what to even do to help myself. It's much simpler to help others sometimes, I guess. Like, someone who is sleeping on the street, I know for sure that I can help them I really don't even know what I need to get better. I mean I do, I need friends again, but that's not something you can just decide to get. Trust me I've been trying like hell So it's like, without any kind of fulfillment, what even is the point of anything?
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Jan 22, 2023 20:39
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ProperGanderPusher posted:Perfectly engineered to scoop up even the toughest clumps of fire ants. When dwarves dig too greedily and too deep they usually at least have made it past the first three inches of topsoil. Precision, I'm kind of in that limbo too. One of the reasons I'm holding on is largely out of spite at a society that wants people like me to gently caress off and die in a corner out of sight.
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Jan 22, 2023 21:21
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I borderline shutdown during my last therapist appointment when she suggested that I needed to break my family's perception of me as like a child by finally inviting my brother to dinner as I have promised over a year ago. The way she kept suggesting tasks one by one made me feel so incompetent I told her to stop. She did apologize but also went on about how she is also a life coach and how people of all sorts ask formateis, etc etc. It made me super paranoid because my brother recommended this therapist. Leaving that aside, the fact that I can change the opinions of others about my goes against everything I learned about people these past few years and I told her that. She claims I'm wrong and it goes against most research. Should have asked for sources right then and there. Honestly wonder if I should get someone else. She even said "Your main problem is you are disorganized" (though to be fair, this was before the shutdown).
AceOfFlames has issued a correction as of 07:47 on Jan 25, 2023 |
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Jan 25, 2023 07:45
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Ah, a self described life coach, one of the most red of flags
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Jan 25, 2023 16:12
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more physical health but I've had a nasty stomach bug for like 3 days now and feeling like I'm simultaneously really hungry and on a sugar rush all the time since I can't keep in anything but applesauce and rice sucks! thanks for listening just gotta complain somewhere
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Jan 25, 2023 17:47
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One of my favorite people died and I have guilt about not having contacted them beforehand. I know thats not really logical, how could I of known, but it's like somehow I should have known. I'm still in shock so haven't even been able to cry yet. They were in their 70s and non-binary, and kind of took me on as one of their own kids (I'm trans also). We just got each other on a level I don't feel with anyone else. I regret not being able to say goodbye. Not sure if I'll be able to get that nagging guilt to go away ever. Life just got "busy" so I was "too tired" to talk on the phone when they last called 
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Jan 26, 2023 22:29
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Goobish posted:One of my favorite people died and I have guilt about not having contacted them beforehand. I know thats not really logical, how could I of known, but it's like somehow I should have known. I'm still in shock so haven't even been able to cry yet. They were in their 70s and non-binary, and kind of took me on as one of their own kids (I'm trans also). We just got each other on a level I don't feel with anyone else. I regret not being able to say goodbye. Not sure if I'll be able to get that nagging guilt to go away ever. Life just got "busy" so I was "too tired" to talk on the phone when they last called that's happened to me with a couple people in my life the stuff that's gonna matter at that age is all the stuff before then, not the last lil bit getting a chance to say goodbye matters way more for the people who are still here, y'know? you don't gotta feel guilty, you've just gotta let yourself grieve. im sorry you lost your friend
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Jan 27, 2023 03:01
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Goobish posted:One of my favorite people died and I have guilt about not having contacted them beforehand. I know thats not really logical, how could I of known, but it's like somehow I should have known. I'm still in shock so haven't even been able to cry yet. They were in their 70s and non-binary, and kind of took me on as one of their own kids (I'm trans also). We just got each other on a level I don't feel with anyone else. I regret not being able to say goodbye. Not sure if I'll be able to get that nagging guilt to go away ever. Life just got "busy" so I was "too tired" to talk on the phone when they last called grief isn't logical. you may feel guilty about it forever, or maybe not. chances are if it sticks with you, it'll just recede into the background and won't be so painful as time goes on. you can still say goodbye in your own way, and I hope you do. very sorry for your loss
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Jan 27, 2023 05:22
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I've still got a fair amount of grief and resentment over my dad passing like 12 years ago, in no small part because he was really sick for like a week prior and no one bothered to tell me anything was wrong until after he died. Had a really terrible relationship when I was a kid, and while we'd reconciled superficially, I never had the opportunity to actually apologize for being so hard on him. It isn't a constant gnawing or anything, but it's definitely on the big regrets list.
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Jan 27, 2023 10:56
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I appreciate the replies guys. The comment about their entire lives mattering more than the moments right before death makes a lot of sense. I didn't think of it that way. They had a lot of people who loved them. I think it extra sucks because they were just getting their new apartment ready after being homeless for awhile. I know death doesn't care what you're up to. But just wish they had been able to have that before passing on. Some people just never seem to catch a break in life, and that plain sucks.
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Jan 27, 2023 13:37
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Someone I've known very well for 12+ years through tournament scrabble (yes really) was diagnosed with a GBM (glioblastoma multiforme), which is a stage IV brain tumor. he was given 6-8 months to live. ugh he's such a great guy too. he's around 70, and has had parkinson's for the last ten years, though that's been well managed. I know his wife really well too. So I've been reaching out and offering as much support as I can.
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Jan 28, 2023 16:42
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im sorry man. his life is made better by your presence, and you gave him stimulation of mind, good conversation, and care during one of the hardest and most significant times of his life. you will be fortunate if you have a friend like yourself when you get there, and if you do I hope you recall your friend and the good times you had together. i hope you can see him as often as possible in the coming months (hopefully years).
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Jan 29, 2023 05:56
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Hi Mental health thread! long time lurker, but I'm getting extremely desperate. This may be the wrong place to ask and for that I apologize. I just don't know where to post; But I was wondering if there's a goon/cspam mutual aid thread? I've recently lost my job due to my mental illnesses and am behind on both my rent and car payment. I spend every day paralyzed with fear that "today is going to be the day I get evicted / car gets repoed" I've started making plans about what if I become unhoused, and have become ever more closely to planning my way out. Of which ae some pretty dark thoughts and plans. I'm not looking for those to be entirely mitigated due to the amounts, but i'm trying to make a dent. Again I'm sorry if this is the wrong place for this. Any direction would be greatly appreciated!
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Jan 30, 2023 02:19
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hamster_style posted:Hi Mental health thread! long time lurker, but I'm getting extremely desperate. this is the fund thread https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4014910 very first quote in the OP has instructions/form for the current aid process. gl =/
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Jan 30, 2023 02:27
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Cuttlefush posted:this is the fund thread https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4014910 Thank you so very much!
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Jan 30, 2023 02:41
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How do people find the energy to go to work while they're depressed, especially when that job is the reason why they're so depressed?
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Jan 31, 2023 21:38
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Been having a tough time lately. Can't get my ADD medication because it's in shortage, more or less on purpose. They're just going to go back to telling us we're lazy and stupid again, aren't they? Reminds me of when I tried to get evaluated for ADD in college, not even looking for drugs or anything, and the psychiatrist was very dismissive and bored looking. One of the many reasons I scorn my college now. It's like every time I try and get help, the help isn't good enough if it's available at all. I tried to do telehealth therapy, finally got an appointment, and then the person totally flips the script and stopped offering sessions I can attend and didn't even give me any handoff to anyone else despite saying she would. It feels like I can't trust anyone to actually give me mental healthcare because it's just a prelude to a huge bill and recommendation for mindfulness and perhaps a report to the police if I'm too honest. Going out into society just feels more and more dangerous everyday. I see a road rage incident almost everyday and I know that everyone is driving with COVIDbrain, phonebrain, and on at least one substance. Everyone has their guard up and I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone for fear they're going to lash out because I stepped into their bubble. This hasn't actually happened yet mind, but a combination of CPTSD from childhood abuse and isolation and hostility from peers due to untreated ADD in my youth, doesn't exactly give me the best tools here. I feel like every negative interaction has 200% weighting in my mind, and every positive interaction has 10% weighting. Like the positive events don't even register, I merely passed the test this time, and the next time could lead to a hidden trigger that unravels it all. I have my wedding coming up, and a festival, and a trip. These are good things right? Nah, my brain derives no pleasure from these coming events. I just see all the things that could go wrong or in the case of the latter things, the hostility I may encounter because I'm wearing a mask or just existing in front of the wrong person. The wedding barely feels real, and I'm really fighting against sadbrains on this one and trying not to fall down any paranoid rabbit holes. There's nothing wrong with the relationship. I just don't see anything good overall coming down the road. We're just going to keep being forced to be sick over and over again until we're dead with dwindling medical support that functionally a fraud scheme, and everyone is going to be absolutely triumphant and pleased with that. I'm going to earn less and less while things cost more and more. I can't move up in my career because I can't focus on studying anything and feel like any certification I could get is fundamentally a waste of time and a mirage. I pass a test and pay money to do it, but then to get a job I need experience and I need experience to get that. Ultimately I feel like I'm not happy and there's nothing I can do to fix that, and if I try my brain is gonna say no and throw up roadblocks. I can't get more skills because my brain tells me certifications are a scam and to go to another tab away from the material. I can't feel comfortable around people because it's saying everyone is bad and that I'm bad and they're going to find out and reject me. I can't even cuddle my own dog because my sinuses now have decided dog dander is what it hates. skooma512 has issued a correction as of 22:58 on Jan 31, 2023 |
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Jan 31, 2023 22:56
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Witeldram posted:How do people find the energy to go to work while they're depressed, especially when that job is the reason why they're so depressed? you ever watch those shows where the contestants go out into the wilderness and they dont catch enough fish or whatever so they start starving? and the body needs energy-calories it doesnt have so it starts eating away at itself? it's like that
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Feb 1, 2023 00:02
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Witeldram posted:How do people find the energy to go to work while they're depressed, especially when that job is the reason why they're so depressed? Dissociation.
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Feb 1, 2023 00:41
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Man I think the weather is really getting to me. Today was cold but bright and sunny out and I felt good all day, was amped up to go home from work and practice guitar, and then I started feeling miserable as soon as the sun went down
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Feb 1, 2023 00:48
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StashAugustine posted:Man I think the weather is really getting to me. Today was cold but bright and sunny out and I felt good all day, was amped up to go home from work and practice guitar, and then I started feeling miserable as soon as the sun went down January and February can gently caress off. I have really noticeable SAD in the winter. This year I've been more diligent about using a light box in the morning and spending time in the sun during the day (plus regular exercise), and it actually seems to work.
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Feb 1, 2023 01:48
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Skooma your poo poo sounds like it really sucks but congratulations on the wedding!
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Feb 1, 2023 06:24
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thehandtruck posted:you ever watch those shows where the contestants go out into the wilderness and they dont catch enough fish or whatever so they start starving? and the body needs energy-calories it doesnt have so it starts eating away at itself? it's like that That fell apart for me when eating a dumpster pizza was less awful than going to work. Even with cop violence, work was so traumatizing in of itself that hovering just above homelessness was preferable. The suicidal ideation at work was more or less nonstop. Jorge Bell posted:Skooma your poo poo sounds like it really sucks but congratulations on the wedding! likewise, congrat!
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Feb 1, 2023 07:17
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Jorge Bell posted:Skooma your poo poo sounds like it really sucks but congratulations on the wedding! thanks! I started to feel a little better and had a decent conversation at the weed store, which alleviates some of the social isolation and paranoia that’s probably driving a lot of these feelings.
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Feb 1, 2023 08:34
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i think i might be unemployable now because i can't do the affective labor required for the interview process anymore, also i'm over 35. i can't pretend like touching computers has any value any more, my portfolio is a decade out of date, my savings are dwindling. i wasted 15 years of my life on this poo poo and i have to pretend like i want to waste 15 more, or i don't get the human dignity tokens listed under my name in the bank's computer and am forced to live like a deer or raccoon or something
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Feb 1, 2023 13:34
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like do i drag myself through the process of finding a another job that erodes my personality and makes me less human, or do i try to switch to a hypothetical career that doesn't grind your soul into dust. it wouldn't surprise me if they all grind your soul into dust, and i missed my shot to engage in whatever branding exercises or autohypnosis causes you to drift toward more money and less responsibility vs penury and total social isolation
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Feb 1, 2023 13:44
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i know it's all rigged but it's illegal not to play
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Feb 1, 2023 13:53
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in late 2019 i had been working remotely for 6 years and was sick of it so i moved across the country in order work in an office and maybe absorb (or at least understand) what makes people able to do this kind of work without wishing for death. now it looks like i will just have to accept the mystery
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Feb 1, 2023 14:27
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Tungsten posted:i think i might be unemployable now because i can't do the affective labor required for the interview process anymore, also i'm over 35. i can't pretend like touching computers has any value any more, my portfolio is a decade out of date, my savings are dwindling. i wasted 15 years of my life on this poo poo and i have to pretend like i want to waste 15 more, or i don't get the human dignity tokens listed under my name in the bank's computer and am forced to live like a deer or raccoon or something That sucks Tungsten. I went through a similar experience, complete with my boss sitting down with me at what turned out to be my exit interview saying 'i had been brought on to be management, and that he "didn't see that in me anymore" (this was never mentioned at any moment previous) and just admitted both of us had wasted 3 years of our lives. He ended with a nice little quip about how I was over 35 and going to be less and less hirable. "Why should anyone hire you over a 20 year old from Brigham Young?" Bottom fell out of my world, had a breakdown, my disability case is entering its 4th year, but thank christ, my 2nd hearing with a judge is around the corner.
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Feb 1, 2023 16:24
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| # ? May 24, 2024 19:10 |
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I'm 35, just started a new coding job, never got considered for management and this conversation is freaking me the gently caress out.
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Feb 1, 2023 16:42
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