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(Thread IKs: sharknado slashfic)
 
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Good Soldier Svejk
Jul 5, 2010

https://twitter.com/sentdefender/status/1624573577923100672?s=20

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uber_stoat
Jan 21, 2001



Pillbug
99 Luftballons
Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont
Hielt man für Ufos aus dem All
Darum schickte ein General
'ne Fliegerstaffel hinterher
Alarm zu geben, wenn's so wär
Dabei war'n dort am Horizont
Nur 99 Luftballons

99 Düsenflieger
Jeder war ein großer Krieger
Hielten sich für Captain Kirk
Es gab ein großes Feuerwerk
Die Nachbarn haben nichts gerafft
Und fühlten sich gleich angemacht
Dabei schoss man am Horizont
Auf 99 Luftballons


quote:

Description:
65,536 objects of unknown (presumably extraterrestrial) origin simultaneously hit atmosphere on 13/02/2082, 1034:43. Objects converged in a precise latitudinal/longitudinal grid; all burned up within 45 - 72 seconds of contact with upper atmosphere. Objects emitted strong omnidirectional radio signals with primary emission peaks at 35m and 394m. Mean mass per object is thought to be on the order of 2-5 kg, based upon opportunistic visual/radar profiles and observed rates of atmospheric braking prior to burn-up. The objects contained high concentrations of iron, judging by subsequent mesospheric elevations of that element. All objects appear to have disintegrated in the atmosphere. We have found no fragments or samples of any kind.

The so-called "Fireflies" were not detected upon approach: there was no indication of their presence prior to the simultaneous destruction of three communications satellites in geostationary orbit several seconds prior to atmospheric impact. To this date there have been no further incursions. Subsequent increased surveillance of both local and deep space has turned up nothing of consequence.


Analysis:
The destruction of the communications satellites is believed to have been the result of inadvertent collisions and not of directed attack. It has been suggested that our inability to detect the Fireflies during their approach may have been the result of advanced stealth technology; while we cannot rule this out, it is also true that even 65,000 objects, converging equidistantly from all directions, would be spread very thinly across the heavens until the final seconds of their approach. There is no need to invoke cloaking devices at this time.

Radio emissions from individual fireflies are reminiscent of those arising from gas giants with strong magnetic fields, and at first pass contained no detectible intelligence. However, Fourier PCA reveals a composite signal arising from the intersections of all of these emissions one with another. Although research is ongoing, we are unlikely to decrypt this signal, since only a few thousand of more than 65,000 component signals happened to get recorded during Firefall. However, such a signal in theory could easily contain a representation of Earth along visible wavelengths, down to a resolution of slightly over 1.3 square meters


Conclusions:
We have been surveyed by an unknown agency. We can at this point infer nothing about its nature or motives beyond an obvious curiosity. Deaths and property damage sustained during Firefall appear to have been collateral in nature, and intensive ongoing atmospheric analysis have turned up no potential toxins or pathogens. There is nothing in these events to support any hypothesis of intent, whether friendly or hostile.

Oglethorpe
Aug 8, 2005
Avatar blanked by Admin request.

Good Soldier Svejk posted:

Biden's schedule has him having a black tie dinner with all the governors right now so... that's something

they do that every year after the sotu

Crusader
Apr 11, 2002

https://twitter.com/dlicj/status/943180164543991808

neutral milf hotel
Oct 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy

Al! posted:

wait werent we just havung a really important discussion about how the government should be spending money particularly on the military's bloated worthless budget

https://twitter.com/robertskvarla/status/1624406933863075840

Oglethorpe
Aug 8, 2005
Avatar blanked by Admin request.
i'm bored

is there a twitch stream where i can watch the end of the world RE norad/montana

SKULL.GIF
Jan 20, 2017


Oglethorpe posted:

i'm bored

is there a twitch stream where i can watch the end of the world RE norad/montana

This guy is doing pretty much the same thing we are right now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A12udgCB3oQ

edit: lol

Tekne
Feb 15, 2012

It's-a me, motherfucker

would a gigaton yield laser produce a mushroom cloud or turn the surrounding area into a molten crater/ravine like my animes?

Carmant
Nov 23, 2015


Treadmill? What's that? Is that some kind of cake?



Concerning

mdemone
Mar 14, 2001

SpaceGoatFarts posted:

The timing of all this with the earlier change in discourse from various public faces is very odd

it's not a good sign op

Carmant
Nov 23, 2015


Treadmill? What's that? Is that some kind of cake?


SKULL.GIF posted:

This guy is doing pretty much the same thing we are right now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A12udgCB3oQ

He's doing it in a suit and with no agenda. Pretty cool.

Good Soldier Svejk
Jul 5, 2010

I mean the most prosaic answer for all of this is that the US is going apeshit on a network of Chinese spy... cylinder... drones that they were aware of but tolerated
that's the best case I'm seeing right now

Turrurrurrurrrrrrr
Dec 22, 2018

I hope this is "battle" enough for you, friend.

SorePotato posted:

Ok who's idea was it to start shooting down UFOs? Let em be imo

pancake rabbit
Feb 21, 2011




SKULL.GIF posted:

This guy is doing pretty much the same thing we are right now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A12udgCB3oQ

steve is a huge dork with libertarian vibes but i do appreciate his consistency with going live to watch twitter whenever there's breaking news, it's entertaining at least

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


AGENDA FREE

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

:coolspot::coolspot::coolspot::coolspot::coolspot:
kju pm me i have a very funny idea of how we can gently caress with the western dogs

isaboo
Nov 11, 2002

Muay Buok
ขอให้โชคดี

pancake rabbit posted:

steve is a huge dork with libertarian vibes but i do appreciate his consistency with going live to watch twitter whenever there's breaking news, it's entertaining at least

yeah he's pretty entertaining when poo poo is going down somewhere

he's theorizing that we'll hear about another shoot down in the newly closed airspace over Montana

D-Pad
Jun 28, 2006

The Montana airspace thing is exactly what they did shortly before shooting the Alaskan one down as well as the Canadian. I guess it could be a coincidence but it's likely they are engaging a third one as I post this.

What in the gently caress is going on I want to know goddamnit.

Marx Headroom
May 10, 2007

AT LAST! A show with nonono commercials!
Fallen Rib
Natl defense airspace declared over Disneyland

Fuck You And Diebold
Sep 15, 2004

by Athanatos
maybe the ohio poison cloud is defensive to prevent air invasion

Good Soldier Svejk
Jul 5, 2010

Jim Acosta sounds pretty hosed up about this on CNN right now

Space Jam
Jul 22, 2008

Marx Headroom posted:

Natl defense airspace declared over Disneyland



yeah in 2014

Good Soldier Svejk
Jul 5, 2010

gently caress You And Diebold posted:

maybe the ohio poison cloud is defensive to prevent air invasion

we're blotting out the sun like in the animatrix

boethius
Jul 10, 2001

Space bunnies have three ears

time doesn’t exist

Good Soldier Svejk
Jul 5, 2010

https://twitter.com/sentdefender/status/1624576868140679168?s=20

mastershakeman
Oct 28, 2008

by vyelkin
USA #1 loving up the aliens who were just gonna show up at the Superbowl

Surprise bitch

The Saucer Hovers
May 16, 2005

D-Pad posted:

What in the gently caress is going on I want to know goddamnit.

the air is full of poo poo and someone told the boys they get to play with the toys for political reasons

Honky Mao
Dec 26, 2012

They just recovered one little grey penis in Alaska

Oglethorpe
Aug 8, 2005
Avatar blanked by Admin request.

SKULL.GIF posted:

This guy is doing pretty much the same thing we are right now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A12udgCB3oQ

edit: lol

dude has enough chyrons to be an IE6 competitor

Good Soldier Svejk
Jul 5, 2010

well if they're shooting one down in Montana they won't have a weather excuse for not being able to recover it right away

Vox Nihili
May 28, 2008

Al! posted:

canada had america blow up one of its own spy balloons, for attention

Just injecting some razzle dazzle into the sprawling, bone-chillingly cold country.

gileadexile
Jul 20, 2012

Watching a livestream on youtube and following along in the thread. Saw this little US Army chopper tootling it's way from Bismarck.

Vox Nihili
May 28, 2008


We've got plenty of enemies I think

The news man says so

Oglethorpe
Aug 8, 2005
Avatar blanked by Admin request.

Carmant posted:

He's doing it in a suit and with no agenda. Pretty cool.

i've scrolled by him occasionally and he's a pretty straight-shootin nerd. repeats himself a lot which is good for new viewers jumping in but gets repetitive

isaboo posted:

he's theorizing that we'll hear about another shoot down in the newly closed airspace over Montana

that's literally what everyone is theorizing at this point

Jazerus
May 24, 2011


mastershakeman posted:

USA #1 loving up the aliens who were just gonna show up at the Superbowl

Surprise bitch

radar was gonna get out of the saucer and do a tribute to michael jackson at half time. all moonwalking and poo poo in his back to the future marty outfit

now he's dead

D-Pad
Jun 28, 2006

gileadexile posted:

Watching a livestream on youtube and following along in the thread. Saw this little US Army chopper tootling it's way from Bismarck.



Please link stream.

Good Soldier Svejk
Jul 5, 2010

I'm putting my money on a special presidential address before the super bowl tomorrow at this rate. It feels certain

Oglethorpe
Aug 8, 2005
Avatar blanked by Admin request.
[UFOs] it's a sizeable square

Good Soldier Svejk
Jul 5, 2010

D-Pad posted:

Please link stream.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A12udgCB3oQ

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Marx Headroom
May 10, 2007

AT LAST! A show with nonono commercials!
Fallen Rib

Space Jam posted:

yeah in 2014

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