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The discussion about what people believe and genuineness is interesting but it doesn’t seem to me like it affects whether something is a fun comment or a catcall. You have to read the person and roll the dice. Any of the nice compliments people have listed as examples of not-catcalling could become catcalling if they’d received them differently.
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Feb 24, 2023 20:18
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| # ? May 30, 2024 09:19 |
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well why not posted:this man's chewbacca costume speaks to him like the Green Goblin mask http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/10/menace.html?m=1
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Feb 24, 2023 20:32
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AKA Pseudonym posted:AITA for telling my wife that I married a moron r/relationships: I apologized to my wife for calling her a moron, and expressed that I am indeed the moron
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Feb 24, 2023 20:33
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Tale as old as time... From Slate: quote:Dear Care and Feeding,  Gist of the response: quote:But at no point would it be necessary to tell your kids that your marriage unraveled over an attempt at an open relationship and you shouldn’t feel bad about keeping that to yourself, perhaps indefinitely.
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Feb 24, 2023 20:35
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"Listen kids, your dad really wanted to bone some strangers, but turns out the strangers are way more into your mom."
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Feb 24, 2023 20:40
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LadyPictureShow posted:Tale as old as time... No matter how many times this story gets told, I don't get tired of it.
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Feb 24, 2023 20:40
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Pirate Radar posted:The discussion about what people believe and genuineness is interesting but it doesn’t seem to me like it affects whether something is a fun comment or a catcall. You have to read the person and roll the dice. Any of the nice compliments people have listed as examples of not-catcalling could become catcalling if they’d received them differently. Well, my advice was mostly for readers of this thread, since at least one person expressed some anxiety over giving compliments and being perceived the wrong way. Once again, if you are genuine and have no ulterior expectations then I think there's nothing wrong with throwing a compliment out there. Just be aware that the person may be having a hard time, or may not have heard you, or may be a dick, and so you can't even necessarily expect a smile or thank you, and if that's a reason you are giving a compliment then you probably shouldn't be giving one. And don't drag out the interaction. I'm pretty sure most of us here can recall times where we were complimented on something and it made our day better. To add another catcalling story, though, my ex told me about how one day he was walking down his street and a tall buff guy told him that he "had nice legs". My ex was creeped out (it's definitely a weird comment) and said he hoofed it out of there even faster. So while the "imagine if you were catcalled by a group of women!!!" argument never works, because guys have no fear of women bashing their heads in if they respond the wrong way, perhaps if they had to endure big buff guys giving them creepy "compliments" instead it'd be a good lesson. (The real best lesson is to just not be a shitheel, and stand up against people being creepy, especially if you are also a guy.)
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Feb 24, 2023 20:42
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LadyPictureShow posted:Tale as old as time... I find it hard to believe the 16 & 17 year olds haven't already figured out Mom & Dad are boning other people
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Feb 24, 2023 20:47
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quantumwell posted:I find it hard to believe the 16 & 17 year olds haven't already figured out Mom & Dad are boning I think most teenagers have an almost infinite capability to ignore that Mom and Dad are having or have ever had sex at any point.
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Feb 24, 2023 20:50
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I remember when a high school friend telling me she always took the stairs because she was scared of elevators. I said, "I didn't know you were claustrophobic." And she said it wasn't enclosed spaces, it was enclosed spaces with strange men. It was a definitely a moment where my perception of things changed. For that reason I always stare at my phone and stand looking away from women when I'm on the elevator with them. Let them know I'm not a threat. Also dick pics are the modern equivalent of opening your trench coat imo. It's not really about seduction, just power.
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Feb 24, 2023 21:00
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Yeah, getting a random compliment in the street can be really uplifting - I still remember when a passing woman told me my ankle-length bright orange skirt was "gorgeous"  I try to do the same thing myself, but I always keep it to things the person has chosen to do - great haircut/outfit/tattoo. Unchangeable physical characteristics are much more likely to be sensitive. I think prominent noses are really beautiful, but I know a lot of people who have anything bigger than a button nose might be unhappy with it, so I don't comment on that poo poo with strangers. I can be awfully oblivious - I remember being in a Dominicks in Chicago, and a guy complimented my golden runners, and asked where I got them. All unfamiliar with supermarket flirting, I told him the actual answer - Marshall Field's, quite possibly the least stylish place to pick up nice shoes. Poor guy was so baffled.
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Feb 24, 2023 21:00
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I've had a few 'I like your jacket!' style compliments that were very nice. The catcall that made me just - super tired was one Saturday afternoon, I had been to the bookshop and was headed for the bus, just ambling along in my own world. Dressed very down, fleece and joggers, mind elsewhere. There was a coach pulled up and a group of men hanging around beside it. 50s-60s white men, laughing and smoking, I guess they were on a break from a longer coach journey. One of them called out "Excuse me love?" and I paused and took an earbud out, thinking they wanted to know the time, or maybe directions. The guy who shouted pointed at another one and said, "My mate fancies you." And then they all laughed, giggling and pushing each other, like little boys. And I just felt so *tired*. I just want to go home. I don't want to have to figure out if you're threatening me, or if you're drunk, or if the joke is 'we're acting like children' or the joke is 'you're so unattractive that the idea is ridiculous' - I just want to go *home*. I just stared for a second and then walked on but it still kind of bothers me to think about. How loud they were laughing and how eagerly they were watching for my reaction. Ugh.
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Feb 24, 2023 21:19
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When I was in my mid 20s this tween in west Philadelphia looked at the blue suede shoes I got at a discount store in Camden and was like "Hey kid, nice sneaks." He might have been making fun of me but my mind interpreted it as a compliment and I'll remember it forever. They loving were nice sneaks
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Feb 24, 2023 21:35
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Pookah posted:I can be awfully oblivious - I remember being in a Dominicks in Chicago, and a guy complimented my golden runners, and asked where I got them. All unfamiliar with supermarket flirting, I told him the actual answer - Marshall Field's, quite possibly the least stylish place to pick up nice shoes. Wait, what answer are you supposed to give, if not the true answer?
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Feb 24, 2023 21:37
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I got a nice new shirt to take on my trip overseas last year - a black button-down with colorful flowers on it, I call it my dark-mode Hawaiian shirt - and the number of compliments I got for it just at the airport on the first day set the tone of my trip perfectly 
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Feb 24, 2023 21:41
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Clocks posted:Well, my advice was mostly for readers of this thread, since at least one person expressed some anxiety over giving compliments and being perceived the wrong way. Once again, if you are genuine and have no My advice to people: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DTNZEJeQt8
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Feb 24, 2023 21:49
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I don't know that I've ever gotten a compliment on anything. Except my overkill COVID respirator, but they were probably being sarcastic.Runcible Cat posted:AITA for refusing to speak around my fathers friend who's a cop? This kid should get a camera for his room lest he be arrested for resisting arrest. The cop can technically search his room, since he's been invited inside by the owner of the house too. 
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Feb 24, 2023 21:56
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On a related but lighter-hearted note, I startled the heck out of a woman last night. We've had some surprise snow here, everything's iced up, and cars have no business being on the road right now but some people have to get places anyway. I was out for a walk and had gotten into the habit of just standing still and waiting when someone was trying to work their way up the street, ready to dodge or help if necessary. Anyway, she'd been helping someone pull out and get on their way, focused on the sliding car as I was, and when she turned around and saw me about fifteen feet away she jumped pretty bad. The snow was pretty crunchy but I'd stopped walking while she was still focused on the car. At that point I was acutely aware how difficult it is to say "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" that doesn't sound like it's the start of a slasher movie. I hope once the adrenaline spike stopped she had as good a laugh about the situation as I did.
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Feb 24, 2023 21:58
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Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:When I was in my mid 20s this tween in west Philadelphia looked at the blue suede shoes I got at a discount store in Camden and was like "Hey kid, nice sneaks." Were they Adidas Gazelles? Because I used to have a pair and yes they fuckin rule, I wore them til the soles completely worn out.
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Feb 24, 2023 21:59
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Bruceski posted:On a related but lighter-hearted note, I startled the heck out of a woman last night. We've had some surprise snow here, everything's iced up, and cars have no business being on the road right now but some people have to get places anyway. I was out for a walk and had gotten into the habit of just standing still and waiting when someone was trying to work their way up the street, ready to dodge or help if necessary. Anyway, she'd been helping someone pull out and get on their way, focused on the sliding car as I was, and when she turned around and saw me about fifteen feet away she jumped pretty bad. The snow was pretty crunchy but I'd stopped walking while she was still focused on the car. 
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Feb 24, 2023 22:01
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Lottery of Babylon posted:Wait, what answer are you supposed to give, if not the true answer? Something flirty and intriguing. I know, I will always default to the exactly honest and true, but I can understand that other people can extrapolate other reactions and work them out to make for other results
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Feb 24, 2023 22:05
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Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:When I was in my mid 20s this tween in west Philadelphia looked at the blue suede shoes I got at a discount store in Camden and was like "Hey kid, nice sneaks." absolutely certain he sincerely liked your sneaks
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Feb 24, 2023 22:19
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as a straight male my main concern in life is alerting women to the fact that they do, indeed, have a "smackin' dumper". what if they don't know??
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Feb 24, 2023 22:21
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Pookah posted:I can be awfully oblivious - I remember being in a Dominicks in Chicago, and a guy complimented my golden runners, and asked where I got them. All unfamiliar with supermarket flirting, I told him the actual answer - Marshall Field's, quite possibly the least stylish place to pick up nice shoes. Maybe he just didn't know Marshall Field's?
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Feb 24, 2023 22:23
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Farmer Crack-rear end posted:Maybe he just didn't know Marshall Field's? It was mid-ninties Chicago. You'd have to be extremely broken to not be aware of Marshall Fields on State Street. It's like not knowing about Saks in fifth avenue.
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Feb 24, 2023 22:27
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Deformed Church posted:Yeah her income could be pretty much anything. Youtube and twitch income can be massively variable from month to month, as well as what demo you're attracting, and how well you're incentivising tipsand if you've snagged any whales, and what kind of sponsorships you're getting, and if you've got a patreon, and and and... most of that is covered in those videos i recommended. that said the how easy it is to drop off isnt and also another thing if you get known for a specific game your audience will not follow you to new games and will massively drop off when ever you dont play it. so now youre kind of stuck playing a game you may infact hate. ive seen people i enjoyed watching try to change games and their view count is almost literally decimated. one of them recently went back to the original game but in the mean time people have moved on to other streamers so his viewers are still bad.
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Feb 24, 2023 22:32
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AITA for "putting ideas in someone's head" to go back to school instead of working full time?quote:I (29m) arranged a cleaner for my mom's house, I'll call her Jane (23f). I run into her from time to time and we talk. Fingers crossed that Jane gets to spread her wings and fly.
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Feb 24, 2023 22:38
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I've only been catcalled once, about five years ago. I was walking to the food trucks for lunch and some disheveled guy sitting on the sidewalk half shouted at me, "ay baby lemme eat that rear end!" I'm sure I was supposed to be scandalized, but the absurdity of it just made me laugh uncontrollably instead. I do try to give out compliments to people though because I know genuine compliments can really make someone's day.
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Feb 24, 2023 22:50
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Lemniscate Blue posted:AITA for "putting ideas in someone's head" to go back to school instead of working full time? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VScEQVHFDUc
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Feb 24, 2023 22:51
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atomicdream posted:I've only been catcalled once, about five years ago. I was walking to the food trucks for lunch and some disheveled guy sitting on the sidewalk half shouted at me, "ay baby lemme eat that rear end!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jl6xgPnan78
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Feb 24, 2023 23:01
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I, a straight white dude, was sitting by a river when this absolute giant of a man (think zerglingminor sized) walked up, squatted down and asked if I had a sister. I said no, he paused, looked me in the eyes and said "That's a shame, I'd like to meet a beautiful woman" Then he got up and walked away. That was about 15 years ago and I still think about it every time someone asks me if I have siblings.
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Feb 24, 2023 23:37
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Pirate Radar posted:The discussion about what people believe and genuineness is interesting but it doesn’t seem to me like it affects whether something is a fun comment or a catcall. You have to read the person and roll the dice. Any of the nice compliments people have listed as examples of not-catcalling could become catcalling if they’d received them differently.
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Feb 24, 2023 23:48
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atomicdream posted:I've only been catcalled once, about five years ago. I was walking to the food trucks for lunch and some disheveled guy sitting on the sidewalk half shouted at me, "ay baby lemme eat that rear end!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wAsAg7LwhA
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Feb 24, 2023 23:53
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Arsenic Lupin posted:The thing is, there are ways to signal that it's a disinterested comment. Brief eye contact, compliment, then walk away fast. That's pretty unambiguously praise rather than an attempt to make someone uncomfortable. Yeah, every time it’s a catcall, the aggressor is watching you for your reaction. You can feel it even when you’re already walking away and refuse to turn back. A compliment should be given directly without expectation.
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Feb 25, 2023 00:09
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carrionman posted:I, a straight white dude, was sitting by a river when this absolute giant of a man (think zerglingminor sized) walked up, squatted down and asked if I had a sister. I said no, he paused, looked me in the eyes and said He was 100% hitting on you, you probably missed out on the best dick in your life.
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Feb 25, 2023 00:16
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carrionman posted:I, a straight white dude, was sitting by a river when this absolute giant of a man (think zerglingminor sized) walked up, squatted down and asked if I had a sister. I said no, he paused, looked me in the eyes and said  This man was on a quest. When I was in my early 20s and didn’t have a car/walked around a lot I got some gross catcalls, usually solitary guys. And groups of guys in cars. Few months ago was walking alone at night and some loving teens kept shouting “hey shawty” at me and literally followed me down and around several blocks in their car. Initially I thought they were shouting at a friend but getting followed freaked me out. Crocobile fucked around with this message at 00:22 on Feb 25, 2023 |
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Feb 25, 2023 00:19
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I think the funniest catcall I ever got was a guy passing by me in an empty park early in the morning telling me "hey, don't forget black guys have the biggest dicks, aiite?" It was honestly more funny than anything. (And he kept walking so it wasn't too threatening.)Crocobile posted:Few months ago was walking alone at night and some loving teens kept shouting “hey shawty” at me and literally followed me down and around several blocks in their car. Initially I thought they were shouting at a friend but getting followed freaked me out. That's creepy and loving sucks.  My nicest car-"catcall" story was some drunk people in a car yelling "HOLY poo poo THAT HAT IS AMAZING!" at me one late night. It was, in fact, a super dope hat so they had good taste.
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Feb 25, 2023 00:43
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Clocks posted:I think the funniest catcall I ever got was a guy passing by me in an empty park early in the morning telling me "hey, don't forget black guys have the biggest dicks, aiite?" 
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Feb 25, 2023 01:01
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Clocks posted:I think the funniest catcall I ever got was a guy passing by me in an empty park early in the morning telling me "hey, don't forget black guys have the biggest dicks, aiite?" Did you yell back "Actually, blue whales do!"
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Feb 25, 2023 01:06
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| # ? May 30, 2024 09:19 |
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Catcalling: I've been straight up followed several times, on foot and by car. I've had guys try to convince me to get in their car at least 5 times, usually while waiting for the bus. I've been cornered on train platforms, I've had guys blow cigarette smoke in my face, I get told to smile more a lot. Customers often think I'm flirting because I'm overly friendly and my customer service voice is really bubbly. Nah brah, I get paid to do this and I want to be good at my job. I feel like it's how I look a lot younger and more innocent/naive than I am, I'm also pretty frail and delicate physically. I'm an easy target. I feel like I'm very lucky I haven't gotten hurt yet. Public is scary often. I don't like it out there.
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Feb 25, 2023 01:20
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