CanPol 2024: the religious experience of pissing on dolphins

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(Thread IKs: ZShakespeare)

Cool Kids Club Soda: Aug 20, 2010; 😎❄️🌃🥤🧋🍹👌💯

Arivia posted:

he can vote. according to wikipedia the only adult citizens who cannot vote in canada* are the top two officials at elections canada, which i'm guessing is for transparency/objectivity reasons and is pretty reasonable imo. even if khadr moved overseas he could vote (but i think he's living in Alberta or something last I heard.)

well dang

# ? Mar 1, 2023 21:38

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 17:44

Cool Kids Club Soda: Aug 20, 2010; 😎❄️🌃🥤🧋🍹👌💯

tagesschau posted:

Why wouldn't he be able to vote? He's a Canadian citizen.

I hadn't kept up, my meds aren't kicking yet, I thought we were doing a Shamima Begum

Buncha reasons

# ? Mar 1, 2023 21:40

PT6A: Jan 5, 2006; Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane

One, one emergency alert! Ah Ah Ah!

Two, two emergency alerts! Ah Ah Ah!

Three! Three emergency alerts! Ah Ah Ah!

EDIT: Four! Four emergency alerts! Ah Ah Ah!

EDIT: Five! Five emergency alerts! Ah ah ah!

Six! Six emergency alerts! Ah ah ah!

Seven! Seven emergency alerts! Ah ah ah!

I'm hearing a rumour it's Telus-related, are you with them?

PT6A fucked around with this message at 22:13 on Mar 1, 2023

# ? Mar 1, 2023 22:00

Powershift: Nov 23, 2009

I'm at 4.

I hope this goes on all day.

At least i learned that if you ignore it, the phone starts reading it out loud.

6th, yeah, telus.

Powershift fucked around with this message at 22:04 on Mar 1, 2023

# ? Mar 1, 2023 22:01

Cool Kids Club Soda: Aug 20, 2010; 😎❄️🌃🥤🧋🍹👌💯

Love that optimism that *this* time I'll pay attention instead of just slamming it shut

6 times now, not Telus

# ? Mar 1, 2023 22:07

Guest2553: Aug 3, 2012

Y'all's phones don't come with an option to turn off emergency alerts? I disabled that poo poo years ago when working shift.

# ? Mar 1, 2023 22:20

Powershift: Nov 23, 2009

Good luck being the last to know when the earth opens up and swallows Taber whole.

# ? Mar 1, 2023 22:31

PT6A: Jan 5, 2006; Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane

Powershift posted:

Good luck being the last to know when the earth opens up and swallows Taber whole.

I wouldn't want to miss that. Coutts and Cardston can go with it, awful shitholes. And especially Three Hills.

# ? Mar 1, 2023 22:33

Arivia: Mar 17, 2011

Guest2553 posted:

Y'all's phones don't come with an option to turn off emergency alerts? I disabled that poo poo years ago when working shift.

in canada that option is disabled by government law. i am not making this up. we didn't have alerts on phones for years and then when they got added up here the government/police decided all alerts go on LEVEL 1 THE WORLD IS ENDING priority and no one can turn them off, despite both being options in the american system we copied/imported.

# ? Mar 1, 2023 22:41

run on sentience: Mar 22, 2022

Arivia posted:

in canada that option is disabled by government law. i am not making this up. we didn't have alerts on phones for years and then when they got added up here the government/police decided all alerts go on LEVEL 1 THE WORLD IS ENDING priority and no one can turn them off, despite both being options in the american system we copied/imported.

I've seen people say this before but I've never once received an emergency alert with BellMTS or Rogers. I have only been buying unlocked phones though, not sure if that has something to do with it.

run on sentience fucked around with this message at 22:49 on Mar 1, 2023

# ? Mar 1, 2023 22:46

Stanley Pain: Jun 16, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

run on sentience posted:

I've seen people say this before but I've never once received an emergency alert with BellMTS or Rogers. I have only been buying unlocked phones though, not sure if that has something to do with it.

Unlocked from US carriers? If that's the case they will more than likely have the US carriers software version installed. In Canada sometimes even the hardware will be a different revision to US versions.

# ? Mar 2, 2023 00:04

run on sentience: Mar 22, 2022

Stanley Pain posted:

Unlocked from US carriers? If that's the case they will more than likely have the US carriers software version installed. In Canada sometimes even the hardware will be a different revision to US versions.

I've only bought them from Canadian retailers, but I guess that's a possibility. I need a new one soon so I'll see if I luck out again.

# ? Mar 2, 2023 00:17

PT6A: Jan 5, 2006; Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane

Maybe there just haven't been any relevant emergency alerts in your area and/or your province isn't run by a collection of brain-damaged howler monkeys.

I mean, I think it's a decent system to have available in the event of an actual emergency. And maybe there could be one that notifies me with the same noise as a text arriving if there's an Amber Alert in my area, instead of my phone completely losing its poo poo at me.

# ? Mar 2, 2023 00:30

Arivia: Mar 17, 2011

eXXon posted:

Finally, please report to CanPol for your mandatory Franco-Canadian sensitivity training course.

i refuse this is compelled speech and it is not allowed under the charter

# ? Mar 2, 2023 01:05

Poldarn: Feb 18, 2011

COPE 27 posted:

If we're starting the Omar Khadr debate again let me go on the record stating it was good and brave to throw a grenade at the war criminal invading his country.

I'm stealing this one. My go-to replies for people getting mad about Omar are:

"Child soldiers are victims"

and

"These soldiers couldn't have been too good if they got taken out by a child"

# ? Mar 2, 2023 01:45

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

I always found it interesting we hold CHILD SOLDIERS defending their homes from attack to higher standards that drivers in this country. Full grown adults can run down and murder children with their car and get away with a slapped wrist and the community generally regarding it as a tragic accident and generally be forgiven. But a child soldier maybe allegedly defending themselves means you're a unforgiveable traitor for life.

A lesson to child soldiers: if you want to kill invading troops and totally get away with it, do it with a car and claim it was an accident.

# ? Mar 2, 2023 02:22

Mr. Apollo: Nov 8, 2000

run on sentience posted:

I've only bought them from Canadian retailers, but I guess that's a possibility. I need a new one soon so I'll see if I luck out again.

What type of phone? I always buy unlocked iPhones from the Apple Store and the ability to disable emergency alerts is disabled in Canada.

# ? Mar 2, 2023 02:27

flakeloaf: Feb 26, 2003; Still better than android clock

Baronjutter posted:

I always found it interesting we hold CHILD SOLDIERS defending their homes from attack to higher standards that drivers in this country. Full grown adults can run down and murder children with their car and get away with a slapped wrist and the community generally regarding it as a tragic accident and generally be forgiven. But a child soldier maybe allegedly defending themselves means you're a unforgiveable traitor for life.

A lesson to child soldiers: if you want to kill invading troops and totally get away with it, do it with a car and claim it was an accident.

Guess that's the last time I invade another country on a bicycle.

The likely truth, supported by physical evidence and the testimony of those who were there, is that Khadr didn't throw the grenade, and even if he had, the attempt to try him for it was hosed the moment he landed in Cuba because, as it turns out, even the rules of legal calvinball don't let you perform extraordinary rendition on foreign children. Finding out Harper was personally responsible for dragging out his imprisonment makes me angry that the guy settled for ten million.

PMSH is truly one of the most monstrous Canadians to ever live, and in the current landscape that's saying something.

# ? Mar 2, 2023 02:39

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

flakeloaf posted:

PMSH is truly one of the most monstrous Canadians to ever live, and in the current landscape that's saying something.

That's just because he's the most recent Conservative Prime Minister. The next one, whoever that is, will probably leave him in the dust.

# ? Mar 2, 2023 02:43

Furnaceface: Oct 21, 2004

infernal machines posted:

That's just because he's the most recent Conservative Prime Minister. The next one, whoever that is, will probably leave him in the dust.

Harper was a smart evil. His inevitable successor is *gestures towards PP*

# ? Mar 2, 2023 03:07

Femtosecond: Aug 2, 2003

It is absolutely wild that Quebec's little savings fund that they sock hydro and liquor tax revenue into is poised to start dramatically exceeding the growth rate of Alberta's Heritage Fund.

quote:

Alberta's bumpy ride only gets bumpier with Danielle Smith's budget
This was a chance to save and stabilize for the future. Alas, it's also an election year
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/opinion-trevor-tombe-alberta-budget-2023-1.6764355

...

There was a $1.8-billion contribution to the Heritage Savings Trust Fund for 2022-23. A seemingly large sum compared to past years, but it amounts to only 6.5 per cent of total resource revenues. When Peter Lougheed established the fund in the 1970s, 30 per cent of annual resource revenues were dedicated to it.

The budget also proposes to stop withdrawing investment income from the fund. As a result, the Heritage Fund will grow to nearly $23 billion by 2026 from $18.9 billion now. This is welcome but also modest.

For perspective, look at Quebec.

Its Generations Fund takes most of its resource revenues (mainly from hydro power), along with a portion of alcohol taxes. Income generated in the fund is also fully retained. The province anticipates annual contributions to reach nearly $5 billion by 2025-26. In total, Quebec's savings fund will be larger than Alberta's this year, and far surpass it soon.

...

love this tidbit also that the reason that Alberta's revenue's are up so high is that despite us headed toward a climate disaster, resource extraction volumes are way the hell up

quote:

...
Budget 2023 shows Alberta has entered a new fiscal reality where we are more reliant on resource revenues and more exposed to risks.

Although oil prices have fallen recently � down more than one-third from the peak of over $120 US per barrel last year � resource revenues remain at dizzying heights.

The reasons are simple. The volume of production is way up (now roughly double our 2010 levels) and more facilities have paid off their initial capital investments, meaning royalty payment rates to the government rise significantly.

Each dollar in oil prices is therefore worth much more to the government than before.

To see this, I plot the relationship between oil prices and oil royalties below. Compare the coming years to 2018 and 2019. Oil prices (adjusted for inflation) are fairly similar yet total resource revenues are twice as large today.

While this is good news, spending the windfall means we are more exposed to the eventual and inevitable drop in energy prices.

We previously needed oil prices of $70 US per barrel to balance the books. Now, I estimate we need $75. That's risky.

It also means the budget is much more volatile than it used to be.

For the quarter-century before COVID, a $1 change in oil barrel prices typically meant less than a $200 million increase or decrease to government revenues. Today, that same change is worth $630 million.

I estimate by 2025, it will be $850 million.

If you thought the roller-coaster Alberta was on before was scary, just wait.
...

# ? Mar 2, 2023 03:38

COPE 27: Sep 11, 2006

flakeloaf posted:

Guess that's the last time I invade another country on a bicycle.

The likely truth, supported by physical evidence and the testimony of those who were there, is that Khadr didn't throw the grenade, and even if he had, the attempt to try him for it was hosed the moment he landed in Cuba because, as it turns out, even the rules of legal calvinball don't let you perform extraordinary rendition on foreign children. Finding out Harper was personally responsible for dragging out his imprisonment makes me angry that the guy settled for ten million.

PMSH is truly one of the most monstrous Canadians to ever live, and in the current landscape that's saying something.

Even if he did throw the grenade and he was an adult and wasn't tortured it was morally and legally justifiable to attack an invading army and he should have been found innocent.

# ? Mar 2, 2023 04:05

flakeloaf: Feb 26, 2003; Still better than android clock

Well yeah but unless they all put their red coats on and line up in a row and fire their muskets in unison, they're not soldiers they're "enemy combatants"

# ? Mar 2, 2023 05:06

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Femtosecond posted:

It is absolutely wild that Quebec's little savings fund that they sock hydro and liquor tax revenue into is poised to start dramatically exceeding the growth rate of Alberta's Heritage Fund.

Yeah this is loving hilarious. Next time I hear somebody bitching about why Quebec gets "special treatment" I'm going to show them this chart and say it's because collectively they're much smarter than us.

Jim Prentice was right, Alberta Tories unwilling to accept it

# ? Mar 2, 2023 06:00

tagesschau: Sep 1, 2006; Guten Abend, meine Damen und Herren.

Guest2553 posted:

Y'all's phones don't come with an option to turn off emergency alerts? I disabled that poo poo years ago when working shift.

Yours doesn't have the option to disable these alerts, either, unless you've rooted it. Having an American phone doesn't help, either, because everything in Canada is sent at the presidential inbound-nuclear-missile priority level, even if it's a custody dispute on the other side of the province.

PT6A posted:

Maybe there just haven't been any relevant emergency alerts in your area and/or your province isn't run by a collection of brain-damaged howler monkeys.

I mean, I think it's a decent system to have available in the event of an actual emergency. And maybe there could be one that notifies me with the same noise as a text arriving if there's an Amber Alert in my area, instead of my phone completely losing its poo poo at me.

Yeah, this is actually an option in the U.S. You can turn off Amber Alerts, weather alerts, etc.

# ? Mar 2, 2023 07:11

COPE 27: Sep 11, 2006

Has an amber alert ever worked?

# ? Mar 2, 2023 14:01

Fidelitious: Apr 17, 2018; MY BIRTH CRY WILL BE THE SOUND OF EVERY WALLET ON THIS PLANET OPENING IN UNISON.

COPE 27 posted:

Has an amber alert ever worked?

Ever? Yes, absolutely.
There's more to the alert than the cellular notification, which is probably the most debatable part of the alert system.

https://torontolife.com/city/the-system-is-being-oversold-an-opp-officer-and-a-professor-debate-the-effectiveness-of-amber-alerts/

# ? Mar 2, 2023 15:09

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

IDK if Toronto Life is the first source I'd reach for

# ? Mar 2, 2023 15:16

Fidelitious: Apr 17, 2018; MY BIRTH CRY WILL BE THE SOUND OF EVERY WALLET ON THIS PLANET OPENING IN UNISON.

It's good enough for "has amber alert ever worked".

Other than that, yeah, you can find some more actual journalism I'm sure.

# ? Mar 2, 2023 15:28

Precambrian Video Games: Aug 19, 2002

[Amber Alert] Toronto couple missing financial stability with three mortgages, a HELOC, two car loans and private school tuition.

UPDATE: The missing stability has been found after consolidating their debt into a single manageable monthly payment.

# ? Mar 2, 2023 16:49

apatheticman: May 13, 2003; Wedge Regret

I know we shouldnt have let the Toronto star take over the amber alert system

# ? Mar 2, 2023 17:29

COPE 27: Sep 11, 2006

So it worked one time, maybe, but they probably would have ended up at home anyway.

# ? Mar 2, 2023 18:51

McGavin: Sep 18, 2012

Whenever I get an Amber Alert I immediately run outside and start screaming the child's name just in case.

# ? Mar 2, 2023 19:46

Wistful of Dollars: Aug 25, 2009

Which circle of hell is this photo from?

https://twitter.com/david_moscrop/status/1631769211654602752?s=46&t=Alz_ihdhBoFeDcaEmGRhIg

# ? Mar 4, 2023 03:33

apatheticman: May 13, 2003; Wedge Regret

8th - Fraud

# ? Mar 4, 2023 03:37

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Wistful of Dollars posted:

Which circle of hell is this photo from?

https://twitter.com/david_moscrop/status/1631769211654602752?s=46&t=Alz_ihdhBoFeDcaEmGRhIg

Regina, Saskatchewan

# ? Mar 4, 2023 03:41

PT6A: Jan 5, 2006; Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane

infernal machines posted:

Regina, Saskatchewan

No, that�s the city that rhymes with fun. You�re thinking of Two Runts, SK.

# ? Mar 4, 2023 03:56

a primate: Jun 2, 2010

Wistful of Dollars posted:

Which circle of hell is this photo from?

https://twitter.com/david_moscrop/status/1631769211654602752?s=46&t=Alz_ihdhBoFeDcaEmGRhIg

I honestly can�t think of a worse table to be at. Sitting next to Conrad Black would feel like a vacation.

# ? Mar 4, 2023 04:12

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

a primate posted:

I honestly can�t think of a worse table to be at. Sitting next to Conrad Black would feel like a vacation.

Maybe he's the one taking the picture

# ? Mar 4, 2023 04:13

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 17:44

trapstar: Jun 30, 2012; Yo tengo un par de ideas.

Calgarians, I have to ask you, sincerely. Why would you let this woman anywhere near the office of mayor?
https://twitter.com/JyotiGondek/status/1629975809216880640

# ? Mar 4, 2023 12:08

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > CanPol 2024: the religious experience of pissing on dolphins

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